Two Things The Narcissist Especially Does Not Want You To Know - (The Truth Will Set You Free) 

Exactly, they pick you apart, criticize & take no responsibility or accountability for anything they ever did.

They are abusive to you because they are threatened by you.

I may sound bananas to many of those who are in this nightmare or recently out, but it’s a blessing once you faced this nightmare and got out of it unscathed! A tru blessing and a new beginning comes after a narcissistic encounter, to a beautiful life aware and with knowledge that will make you bulletproof! This is an amazing channel that has helped me face my demons and I’m hugely grateful to have found it when I was in my weakest 😘🙏🏼

Time reveals all when you start seeing who there sleeping with . You will realise there abusing there selves. You will fully understand there completely gone.

1. They study you to see where you are vulnerable and proceed to exploit those areas. 2. They see how much you are willing to give and use that to their advantage, always. The reason they start to triangulate you is to see if you will fight for them (totally evil). They expect that you will. If you don't, they will ramp up the devaluation process. I call some of these devaluations as mini discards with even more silent treatments and not including you in any activites. At this point, they have several other supplies they are working on. If you accept these mini discards (by staying), they use most of their time securing other beings for their benefit. One of 2 things happen next. You will be discarded when you are totally exhausted or you will feel a deep need to leave even in pain... So you discard them.

Amen!!!! The confusion was exhausting. I’d often say “I am so confused!” He is now in a relationship with another woman and contacts me hoping to have sex with him. It blows my mind! I was engaged to him and left because I figured him out. That said, once I left he treated me like pure SHIT. He became a monster. Replaced me right away. He lied about EVERYTHING.

Coverts are the worst - play the victim and pull at heart strings of compassion - they are evil manipulators.. "Poor them - they suffer from depression, etc. & they are who they are - poor them" As you contort yourself trying to make them feel okay about themselves as they tear you down. It's hideously evil!

Satan was the first narcissist.. Christ was an empath. Satan hates/envies God's human beings - has no ability to love. Christ is about love, compassion - empathy. We are all on this spectrum but too high on the narcissist spectrum & they are actually not human. This video is very good - well explained!

I was the 3rd wife. It took me over 10 years to figure out what he had done to the previous 2 wives. I also figured out that deep down the MAIN REASON he married me was NOT because he loved me or genuinely wanted another chance at turning his life around, at being good, but to make himself feel better about the trail of devastation he had left behind him - SERIAL MARRIAGES not only enable the NARCS to continue with the DELUSION & the FACADE that ‘all is good in their world’ and the LIE that ‘it was always the other person’s fault’ they also give them a ready SCAPEGOAT for their FUTURE DECEPTIONS.

'I believe' narcs are majority, I've not known a single empath or not narcissistic person in my place... maybe, I'm living in the real hell and I didn't know!!! 😨😢😭

The spiritual Element in this is stronger than the physical. You find out how you were always good and others turned against you BECAUSE of this. Now, no more. The fight is on.

I’m so lucky that I was warned before the relationship by friends and strangers. Even my therapist who knows him said to run. No one believes that he can change. When he pretended to be depressed and need space my research began starting with suspecting bipolar disorder or drugs... eventually I stumbled upon NPD. The dots connected and I walked.

they always always trigger you for no reason, other than they enjoy it and get reaction and supply, feeding on your emotional response.

Exactly - no accountability - no responsibility.. everyone and everything is to blame - not poor them.. they are like toddlers or rebellious teenagers ... He even told me he was attracted to my energy - at them time, I took it as a compliment.. HA! The last time I saw him. I knew I never wanted to see him again. I didn't state as such.. but he actually said " I never sucked off you." I just look at his dead face.. That was it in a nutshell. All he did was suck off my light - love - joy & energy..

To think, a year ago I didn’t know any of this? Now everyday I’m using phrases like “lovebombing “ “object constancy” “cognitive dissonance “ I wish I had been able to stay ignorant of it all!

Remember...it ain't no fun when the rabbits got the gun..and big shot millionaire needs ME way more than I need him....great turn around

Just a memory that entered my mind while watching this video. After the first brutally discard from the narcissist. The narcissist came back and told me 'he enjoyed seeing me in that state, he enjoyed seeing me hurt' reason why cus I hurt him numerous times. Reality check- this couldn't be normal. Thanks God iam finally free after 6 years of hell.

This is an important message and is very well articulated. I truly hope you will write books one day, Miss Paula. 🌹

I was so blind, so ignorant, flapping about with Narc Mom, Narc brother and Narc grandfather it's so sad and pathetic for children. Then, moving onto a horrifically abusive bf as a young teen.....Thanks to your channel and insight and thanks to HG Tudor YT channel I'm gaining the clarity of my past. Better late than never I guess. 😢🌹

My narc put it all on me and said I shouldn't be in a relationship, because I suffer with depression. What I worry about is that both my parents are narcs and that all my partners were as well. Therefore for me the statistics are scary; I attract them and dare not date.😟 I really hope I learnt enough to break the cycle, because I'll die if I have to go through that again. Currently still keeping away from people and that's since September already.

Very true. ...the more abusive THEY are, the better supply you gave.....become respondent vs reactive..they HATE that...🤷‍♀️😁

If you sense what reaction they are going for, respond by doing the opposite or whatever that can be deemed acceptable to throw them off. If they reaction is not what they expect they go silent and are confused.

He was a very Nasty piece of work...My only regret was not seeing it coming...not knowing at that stage in life what to look out for.(lesson learned). I hold him completely accountable for his mess..disrespect..hate of ultimately himself...(that truth is freeing).. won't give him an inch now and held, hold my self responsible for making sure I got out..and stay out.

Makes perfect sense Paula, it is bonkers totally utterly NUTS, it by studying this disorder that you get more and more knowledge, it's AWFUL the way they treat people, GREAT that you do these videos especially for those just going through the discard phase, even to this day i see others who haven't gone through thus just don't understand so it's very reassuring to read others comments and then realise I not on my own, thanks Paula.

You are so on point that it s nearly frightening. Unfortunately we only understand it when we are nearly out of it. Knowledge is wisdom for future interactions with them💪🏻⭐️ Thank you for helping us all. It works😘

Thanks Paula, YES The narcissist will eventually RUIN EVERY " relationshit" they participate in. The cycle playbook is the same o same o everytime. The principle Key is to know & understand the cycles narcs use. These Halflings are not your healthy life. Love to all recovery persons🙏🕊🙏❣️

It is all so regonizable Paula ..don't know where to start with my story..and it's only the tip of the iceberg Because my narc was very ill at the time..i excused a lot of his bad behaviour...until i was a shadow of myself. After a half year no contact he suddenly contacted me again.. because i never had any closure...he promised to meet up and talk.He let me wait another year to meet up...He finally did meet up. His excuse for waiting so long was study..renovating his house..a relative who died..working on himself etc. So i waited patiently ..i also asked him if he had girlfriends in the meantime.. when we were separate.. No he said...not really..not of any importance..only a flink onze.. .it was al a lie... I feel so stupid for taken him back...I was doing so well...but wanted to believed him... Only to find out he had been with several people ..even living together with a Girl for 8 months. If i had known i def. Would have waited to be intimate and until he was sure about me... ..not only that..after he had sex with me again.....he was not totally sure all of a sudden again if he wanten relagionship..and wanted to take things... slow again... He never told me he was spending the holidays with her..his birthday..the new year..festivals... So i broke up with him again ..went no contact for a week now.. hopefully never to be hoovered again. I am so angry.. for supporting him..helping him...giving my heart to him...for him to crush it. He have been lying to me but he denies everything..gets really angry when i ask. None of my *** business... But the new supply whitnessed a heavy tantrum accidently and left.. For him to hoover me the very same day... I know now in retrospect. Now he almost forces me to be friends... Then i dont have to be jelous again he saus.. we can do nice things toghether etc... I mean ..such a sick individual.. I said i can't i be just friends after you lied to me and i have to witness your New supply...He uses People for his own fame and gain.. I took so much from him..the calling names ..the agression.. also fysical a few times... its so heard to get this demon out of my head even after all he did to me. I feel so set back...but you Paula and your video's Will get me thrugh.. thank you so much. Greetings from the Netherlands. Much strenght for all survivors.

Also was really comforting to here that there's only a small percentage of people like this because i have lost all faith and my view of the world has sadly changed dramatically. Love to you from New Zealand ❤

Imagine the narcissist saying to you “ you made me like this” , or “ you made me do that” - in a way they are correct!! Your response allowed him/her to behave that way. . You need to CHANGE your response.

I only realised a couple of years ago that my mother is a narcissist, she is elderly now, so I am trapped in many ways in this so called relationship. However, while I was getting support from my sister during a difficult period with the narc mum, she was very supportive and said all the right things. The bombshell is she is displaying signs of narcissism/ BPD, I just didn't expect that. I am not sure that people with NPD are in the minority, I think there is more of them that we suspect. Like the Gospel says, 2 Timothy- For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy.

Thank you Paula. This is exactly what I experienced with my ex narcissist after 23 horrible years being married to him. He married very shortly after I divorced him and the 2nd wife also left him Very sad My heartache is that my children had to experience so many wounds as a result of his sick behavior. God bless you Paula ! You are helping so many people with your work ! 🙏

I was married to a narcissist for 14 years. She was a female covert narcissist. I raised my stepkids, have a wonderful relationship with them. I will always be dad. Over the years I worked, did all the cooking, cleaning, bill paying. Spent all my time with the kids. I wanted my wife to be involved, but she was always out treating strangers better than her family. Well anyways, 2 years ago I went in for an Mri for a needed spinal fusion, I got the results an found I also had luekemia. I was put on disability, my income was less, she started a smear campaign to our church, friends, behind my back. Shortly after she filed for divorce and I was discarded. I have since learned she had affairs with 3 other men while we were married. Thank goodness for these channels, Paula is wonderful. What a wild ride it was. Goodluck on healing to you other empaths.

Thank you Paula this was a great video... I always feel lifted when i hear you speak on narcissistic abuse because it comes from the Heart. Each day that goes by i learn a new piece of information to help me become the person i am meant to be, without the Narc. I have endured many traumas in my life but i have to say Narcissistic abuse from a whole family that i married into was one of the worst experiences. Life does get better once you are able to remove yourself, no contact and arm yourself with plenty of research. I recommend this channel for your healing.

You’re so amazing Paula! I stopped by my sons house after church today and it’s like you were a fly on the wall at his house. His home is a safe place for me to talk and he and his wife are very loving towards me and will help me in any way with my recovery and healing. On the other hand one of my daughters and her husband did something so hurtful towards me in regards to her father (the nar). She absolutely refused to realized that what she did hurt me until after 2 weeks she finally apologized last night and said….I didn’t think what I did would hurt you……. She beat around the subject for 2 weeks before she finally accepted that what she did hurt me. She is too much like her father and that really scares me. Anyways, thank you for the validation you give us empathetic people who still wonder if we could have done more, could have fixed them, or could have loved them into being a normal person! On a good note I spent last week volunteering at a Vacation Bible school with over 600 kids! Oh my goodness it was so uplifting and the most wonderful experience ever! I have found my new place for spiritual education and fellowship. As always I truly love your channel and truly enjoy your delivery 😜. Your use of the “F” 💣 was priceless!! Hope you and sweet Remy have a blessed week. 🦋💕. Also I wanted to ask if you’ve ever heard the expression “The one who loves the least controls the relationship?” The narcissist doesn’t know love so that’s why it feels like they control the relationship. My mind was blown the first time I heard that! 🤯 but it makes perfect sense in a narcissistic relationship.

Yes so right Paula if you understand what you are saying it helps so much in going forward and your Healing and believing and knowing you were not to Blame That is Huge Thank you

Tears from this video has cleared the fog from my eyes 90 days out after six years together. You perfectly described what has been happening to me. God/Karma wanted me to see this today. It was never about me. I feel so much lighter and self love. 🌺🌸🌼

I'm so scared for my family who is still in the thick of it please pray for them

It seems like for us sensitive empathetic folk, it would be better for us to leave them first, I believe it would Empower us to just go ahead and shock ourselves and them and leave. I understand what you're saying Paula, we do tend to gets stuck in trying to figure them out, trying to be better trying to do more for them instead of just leaving once we know. I am even after so many years I've living with this freak able to be empathetic enough with him to see he was probably traumatized as a child which for us sensitive people Keeps Us bonded to them when really we need to run for our lives. It is tragic but look at Joyce Meyers this is my go-to she was sexually abused by her father over two hundred times, and her mother, knowing full well what was going on and leaving her in it. She talks about her anger in her rage, but if she is able to have two lousy parents, and go on and try to help and heal other people then they do have a choice. And I firmly believe this is a spiritual thing it's these people have chosen a carnal life because it feels good they are aware of God and like my husband some of them claim to be Christians, when it's nothing more than a front the same thing we were a front a backdrop for them to go and cheat and lie. They tear us down because they want to keep us in Pumpkin shell while they're off doing whatever the hell they want to do. We need to realize we are not a dog that needs a bone but a gift from God and his artwork and we deserve jewels and treasures, and most of us humbly would share those. The opposite is true of these seriously underdeveloped unempathetic, possibly possessed people. I believe they would keep all of the jewels all the treasures for them self save them up and sit on them as if they could take them with them. Unless they were using some of the jewels and treasures for love bombing which is not love and it's not a gift . We have learned so much together in this group thank you so much Paula for being brave enough to start a channel it must have been terrifying. But look, you did it, and we all need to keep speaking the words of life. God bless bless you immensely I pray in Jesus name amen!

FOG fear obligation guilt

It is exactly like speaking to each other in two different languages. I came to this awareness early on in my last situationship. It was a bolt of clarity actually and I blurted it out to him during one of our disagreements. I was starting to see that the platform of our realities we're never in sync and had done enough therapy in the last five years and work on my own thinking errors in life not to over identify with everything and take it all on in an all or nothing way. I was starting to see I was not responsible for the other. I had gone to therapy to get over the anger and ruminating craziness I experienced while taking care of my dad who was impossible to live with harmoniously. I was the designated black sheep...the prodigal child he called me. It was hell but my family had groomed me for this. So I believed It was all my fault.... until my therapy challenged this. I believe that was the beginning of my journey out of what for me has been a life long pattern. I was working on myself... not wholely trying to appease or fix THEM. Had only a rudiment understanding of the concept of narcissism. Working on me seems the key to my autonomy. So I. AM healing.

Thank you, Paula, for the education you give us. I love Remy in the videos, too. He gives me a sense of peace. My narc of 3 years killed my beautiful boy Obi. I had him for 10 years, and we had an incredible relationship and bond. Remy helps with my loss of my Cockerspaniel, Obi. For christmas I bought myself a puppy.....Teddy. We have fallen in love with each other. He is now a teenager on steroids!! 😂❤

Thank you for saying that my own bad behavior was a reaction. I have felt guilty and shameful for some of the things i had said to him

I was married to him 40 years until he died of cancer // I know he knew i was on to him so he stayed in the bedroom while i worked // ive slept on my couch 25 yrs cause i have a back issue so he played mind games with 2 other women on line // i thought he was crazy // i took him to his hospital trips he said you know i love you and they dont mean any thang to me // i said right // i havent believed him for years he knew i was on to his crap years ago // always do oppisite they ask cause they try to bring you down to ruin

I was in a long term marriage and I allowed to be hoovered three times!!! I had been beaten down so low that I took him back even after finding out he had been having an affair with my friend. You don't realize how much life they have sucked out of you until they are finally gone. I feel like I have finally found my old self....I like her alot!! I wish I had known about this disorder many years ago, but its never to late.😊🎉

I made mistakes with my female narc regardless that she had a disorder. There were things I could have and should have done better. And I regret that for myself and for her. But in general I was very good to her. I apologised sincerly for my mistakes as any mature person would do. However, my narc never apologised sincerely. In her eyes she didn’t do anything wrong and was always right. That was something I couldn’t accept, her arrogance and delusions. It made me not wanting to love her, not wanting me to give her more. I was stuck in a position that I wasn’t acknowledged for who I am dealing with a grown up child who couldn’t or refused to improve herself. At the same time she wanted more from me but I wanted the basics for a healthy relationship between two people. In their eyes you don’t excist. That is what makes it so hard. Then eventually you have to make the choice to go away or to let yourself be abused even more.

Paula dropped the F bomb!! 🙊💥🙈 ...tho, perfectly warranted I feel 🌼

As always great insights, Paula ! 💋💖🌸😎

Correct. The posts of Photos in social Media is to con other supplies. Surrounding our "happy" Shots was me feeling confused drained and looking like " what the hell is she doing behind my back there?!". But then we SMILED. Messed up..

so apreciate your help and care.thank you.

Spot on! Thank you Pola❤

Thank you so much Paula. This info is so helpful!

Yes, they are a curiosity to say the least. You are right about communication. It's like they are from a different planet 🌏

Very nice. Good job. Thank you Paula.

Our beautiful Paula 🥰 thank you for the video

You owe it to your child self to Navigate around them... in the other Hand its interesting that after this, you WILL change drastically. Its a "blesssing". I always said to myself " okay, shes strange, but shes exactly the woman i NEED." And it is true, there are reasons this happens to us, in some Sense they point us to our bigger weaknesses. They repeat them every day....

Paula, great video and to hear of what I need to keep in mind. 🌻 Thank you. I look forward to your videos.

Thank you so much ,for telling me this ,💐💐💐

Thanks again... one more paver for Recovery Road...

Wow! Thank you so much for this. Some people say that narcissists don't do things for us (to punish us and that it is more about them). But I truly felt like he is trying very hard to punish me. By making it official with her (with me he didnt make it official). Or wearing necklace with her name (what he didnt do with me or matching statuses on profiles) or doing for her so much more / gaving her more etc.

Thank you for this video you are helping me heal and get an understanding of the situation, 6 years of brain fog, thank you thank you so much helping me with whats going on here ❤❤❤

👍🏿👌🏾👏🏾Absolute Truth!! 🙋🏾‍♀️Hey Paula My Dear Friend Thank you for sharing 🤗😍

Omggg wow . iam a year free and I've spent the last year living in guilt apologizeing over in over to him over things I didn't do . I needed this to here this . bless you .

Lol I had to rewind the expletive I thought I heard munchousen ran in his mother line 🤣💚

Thank you SO for this video! You have an uncanny ability to explain things in a way that soothes the dissonance in the mind of the victim of narcissistic abuse and I appreciate you for it.

I have friend in a toxic relationship now… she blames herself for everything and really it’s just her response to him. I can see it but not sure what if anything I should say. She’s not seeing it.

Excellent as always 👍👍👍♥️

Love from Albuquerque. Thank you 💕😘 shared.

Oh Paula you so explain easy ,when it's so hard to get this evil , thanks for your wisdom 🙏👍

You said it right on fact. For my issues

Love it when you said pure rubbish!! Keep the knowledge up, you and HG are getting the knowledge out. A lot of people have or had no idea of what narcissism is.

Thank you Pola❤ God bless you❤

Thanks, Paula!

We can go from worst to bad or bad to worst. But what's in it for the keeping. Hold on to what's good and block minimalistically outside influences that simple aren't right. We should call this 'shelter' and within it our awareness is protected and held mandate. Half thoughts are usually best carried out by influence.

You’re a blessing

The reaction is guilted, the action that caused it can never be mentioned

Paula, thank you for your important words today. You are a great inspiration and have been so helpful to me the last few days. Ive done so much healing. Stayed strict NC and GOSO. But I digressed recently in my recovery. And this person must truly hate me as he moved back to my hometown and opened up my dream biz I'd talked about for decades w his IPPS. It's scary really. Hurts yes...but its scary w this fixation thing and scary this girl has no idea what the intention is w their biz.

Just so crazy making!!!

I know working different hours I miss so much during the long years. ! The last year is when the mask slip and he would pull it up. ! I just work up such a dislike into his attitude ! But thank God I had the strength that night to put his behind out pour surprise he almost died ! The words couldn’t come out his mouth but I beat him that night - the dog in waiting was not ready for him to move in but I will forever have that night I put him out in a storm ! I told everyone he was put out embarrassment because he fake the husband role for many years ! I am in my 50’s I can still start over , him I was his lifetime safety net , retirement comfort ! He had to live with self the first ever , be responsible for his entire life . I have started my own RU-vid channel supporting parents with autism children ! He will never believe I made it without him.

"Narcdom" - LOL Brilliant!

Hello Paula..first..thank you for all of you hard work. Nice one..you are saving lives here..FACT. Any chance of you picking up on ways of us all being able to pick up on two narcs butting in on our conversation and how to naturally excuse ourselves in seconds...and just walk away from both with good reasons...I found out that if you excuse yourself by going to the loo..then escaping..it works because both parties barely know you are or were there....my red narc coat works a treat..I now carry one in a rucksack everywhere i go..It still works 100% of the time. I swear we arrive back from being with narcs, WAY sharper. If I could hug you I would...please take this word as a HUGE HUGE TO PAULA, for you.

excellent & " thank-You". Good 2 mix the narc vid watching with someone like Florence Scovel Shinn too i'm finding ..keeps a balance =)

Thank you so much for this♥️ the ex narc is Making he's new supply me, he's making her to be my profession.. I'm a piercer and a barber and now he's making her to be that even if she has worked in a bar Al her life😅 omg.. so childish...

10:52 THANK YOU

Nomatter what the worst thing that can happen to you is the best thing when all ends are untattered. There will always be new experiences and within your new expression/understanding you will persue as the most unremarkable. Narcissism affects thing that only you can let take away, however solid you stay and stand. Sometimes for the best of reasons as next is always a new day, to live enjoy and share. You are an abundance and your openess is topography for being. However less it is uncomplicated 🙏 Narc Con 😉

Your videos are explaining better & better, no my narc has befriended my ex can someone explain this to me! Why try to stay on the outskirts of my life , still happening 13 years?????

TY, Part 1: Do not believe lies about yourself no matter who or where they come from. -Quornesha S Lemon You don't have to feel regrets, if you did the best you could in all your connections. They were experiences that you have the opportunity to heal and grow from. May you allow others to be self responsible and self accountable for themself. Part 2: This can happen in many different scenarios...relatives, romantic relationships, friendships, work places and many other affiliations. There is always a group effort. You have parted ways with people for a reason. You have outgrown those connections. May you not return nor allow them to return. Letting go is a daily process-Melody Beattie May you begin or continue to practice self care daily ☺️ Laugh 😂 out 🤣 loud 😹 daily 😘 Namaste 🕊️Peace 🤸 Shalom 🐵

If the ex has no diagnosis of NPD or Bi polar, but fits all the crazy making and addictions to drugs, alcohol, sex, the behaviour cycle, depression and negative self talk that impacts your emotional wellbeing. The manipulation of others the smear campaign ect. When you as the primary supply, post discard, start to speak out on this subject, then you start being labelled as disrespectful to them? They are telling everyone they are the victim and pointing the finger at you. Paula I've experienced a lot of what you talk about in this video..

Love you 💓😘

This is one sweet gorgeous Lady, canine intact 🙏 Narc Conifer ... have it, be it elate it. Lets find the parameters where self entitlement and grandiose are not exclusive in the human exchange. Let's see how morality and crime really negotiate. Let's knuckle down on kaos and it's contempt. 😏

This is your calling you lovely Irish lady.

It's nuts far out it's painful stuff right

I'm sorry no disrespect but narcissists are about 80- 85 of the world a population it's been proven by pros and average intuitive Empaths

oh paula, how do you do it? if i may ask what do you arm yourself with against narcdom? aside from that beautiful necklace, remy? i hope i'm spelling remy's name correctly. i do not like to assume or but maybe a cocktail at the end of the evening or maybe two cocktails? maybe remy martin? you are such a beautiful soul to fight the fight against the abuse, torment, cruelty, circles, chaos, fog, and mind duckery that you deserve the highest of highest rewards and whatever fancies you, you will obtain and lots and lots so much you would have to figure out a way to give it all away. you are a master and i bow to you. empaths be the ducking light have a beautiful day :)

Love from India

IF.

I would claim they defend their false self. The true self, if it exist behind the influences of enegies or whatever, might be that of a child the age when their development was halted

All delegations aside. The narcissist primoidally is a loser. That's why we should never bank with this on anybody yet to be deemed assured as seeking primary source of narc supply..

He needs me cause of my gardening knowledge.. He is in landscape only.. I got this....the rabbits got the gun

Hi Paula 🙂 But what if you were considered secondary supply. Would the Narc still try to make you jealous via social media of your blocked 🚫?.

🙏❤️🙏