Leej twg muaj ib tug laus nrog yus nyob yeej tsis yog ib qho yooj yim. Hlub hlub los yog nyob ua ib tse ces yeej yuav muaj hnub sib dub muag. Vim yeej yuav tsum muaj qhov uas ua tsis sib haum. Tiamsis phem npaum li twg los yog tus laus tseem pheej yuav nrog tus phem nyob xwb ces yeej txhais tau tias tus phem ntawd yeej zoo lawm thiaj nyob taus uake. Tiamsis vim yus nrog tus twg nyob ces yus yeej pom tus ntawd qhov phem xwb. Li cas los yeej kawg qhov chim chim tag sib zam txim dua xwb. Tus tsis muaj cov laus nrog nyob mas thiaj li zoo tham nrov nrov xwb.
Peb ua neeg nyob ces cov laus nrog leej twg nyob leej twg yeej yog tus phem xwb os You don’t know the burden and stressed your brother and his wife went through so txhob xav tias koj yog tus zoo You work far away but your Wife is in town so please don’t make your brother and his wife the bad guy
Lem Lem I totally agree with you. Cov laus yeej complain heev thiab. Tu twg hlub nws los nws twb tsis xav nrog nyob. Nws xav nrog tu tub es muas degree thiab nyiaj xwb. This guy has no rights to talk about his brother when him and his wife don’t want the parents too. Such hypocrisy!
I agree , some elders, no matter how much you love them, they dont see that. They always make you the bad ones and they always want to live with the one that hate them the most. The son and daughter in law would buy them gifts for Christmas and mothers/fathers day but they'll still say they never buy them anything. Plus, if they dont like it, they'll throw it away. Even when a nyab bought the mother in law a snack, she'll say she doesn't like eating it but then later go and buy the same exact thing that the nyab bought for her.
Yes, absolutely agree!!! Hmong elders are so stubborn. If you please them in everyway without saying any word and hold it in then they say you are the good one, but the moment you speak, they say you hate and don't love them. Whoever the elders live with, that family has to do twice the work, so don't blame them, instead try to understand from their perspective too. Some inlaws go out and tell the whole world how bad their own kids are and praise others. If you said you have cared that much about your mother/parents, you would have stayed working in town and help them too, so don't just blame your brothers and their wives, bc you are part of the problem.
Lem Lem agree. Cov Laus nrog tus twg nyob ces tus ntawv phem xwb. Twb yug sawv daws ne ua cas pheej kom tus uas nrog nyob hlub xwb. Sawv daws kuj hlub los mos. Qhov zoo ces cia rau yus noj qhov phem ces muab rau luag.
Lem Lem koj hais yog lawm os. Cov laus mas tus nws nrog nyob mas ua zoo thiab tau noj npaum cas los nws yeej tsi qhuas li hos cov sab nraum mas tsheej xyoo mam nqa ib nyuag pob zaub tuaj xyuas ib zaug los lawv nim qhuas qhuas qab qhuas tsau li thiab na
This is a typical Hmong situation, some of us have gone through similar situation or worse. The good guys are the one usually end up losing. Lets just say life's never fair! I totally agree that we should cut down funeral expenses. No matter how much we spend or do, the dead is dead n he/she/ them will never come back to live again. Want to love them, do it when they're still alive. Talking about old stubborn parents. OMG, some are ok, some, they're so stubborn as hell, you wouldn't know or understand until you have one, they're ur parents just do the best you can. The good thing is your parents are gone so what's done's done, life goes on....remember what goes around, comes around.
To be honest, sometimes old people do it to themselves. They prefer to live with their favorite son even if his wife hates them. They refuse to live with the more loving son because he’s not their favorite child. They are quite stubborn. I know because I am in that situation!
So true. They rather give up all their SSI to a no good son. Then to live with a son who ask for nothing and live for free. But cry the Mekong river every day.
Even if they live with the son that is not their favorite, they just live there like strangers, they don't feel comfortable and they don't care for those grandchildren.
Why is it about stubbornness? Why is it about favoritism? You're saying its the parents fault when the ACTUAL problem that needs addressing here is the fact that his WIFE hates them. Why the fuck do you guys overlook this issue and condone it like it's normal? To be honest, majority of sons and daughters in this day and age are selfish punk bitches.
Hmoob ces ua ib lub ntees tuag no ma tag nyiaj lawm ntau tsis tas li Lo tseem nyob hnub thiab hmo tsis tau so tag nrho, muaj ib cov ma tus tuag twb tuag mus lawm tabsi tus nyob ma npaj npaj tus tuag lub ntees ua hauj lwm khiav ncig pes lees tsis tau so tsheej tag hmo tseem los zaum mloog ua ua tus nyob tseem cia yuav tuag raw thiab os. Ib ntxhias Niam thiab txiv no yeej tsis sawm zoo pes tsawg thiab na tus pab pab nws ua rau nws noj ma nws yeej tsis Pom nws tias ntawv yog normal xwb tabsi yog hnub twg tseg nws tsis tau npluas mov noj ma nws hai tias Yu phem. Nws muaj mob Yu tus nws nrhiav nws noj zov nrawv nws ma nws tsis Pom Yu lub taub hau li tabsi yog tuaj lwm tus tuaj xauj nws ib npliag xwb ma nim ua ua tsaug tsis txawj tag ua ntsej muag luag ntxhi rau luag tabsi ua ntsej muag dub txig rau yu. Some parent’s in law no yeej tsis hlub tus ua nyab npaum lawv hlub lawv tus tub or tus ntxhai txawm tus daughter in law yuav ua zoo Es ua ua ua tuag kiag ntawm chaw Lo luag tsua tias oh tuag lawm no xwb tabsi yog koj yog ib tug daughter in law uas tsis tshuas do as they say or tsis khoom take care of them xwb na ces lawv twb tias nim tsis hlub lawv siab phem li ub li no oh yo yo yog yuav hai ma ntau heev li os...
kuv twb tau ua tub ua nyab tag tam sim no kuv ho los ua pog ua yawm lawm kuv yeej paub hais tias tus yus nrog tau nyob ntawm yus tsis kam mus nyob nrog lwm tus los tus yus nrog nyob ntawm yeej tsis hlub ntau los yeej hlub tsawg yus thiaj nyob tau😪
Love your parents while they still alive and able to talk, to eat and to travel. Funeral services should be limited to minimum. We do not need to spend more than $10, 000.00. Love the ones that still alive. The dead ones are gone for eternity. They have no need to eat or drink. They are in spiritual realm.
Elders were brought up a certain way and not use to change. They are stubborn mules. All we can do is love them as they are and keep trying to love them.
cas nej teb chaws vam meej ua luaj li tab sis nim tsuas hnov qhov tsis hlub niam hlub txiv tas li xwb os hmoob aw zoo qhov peb tsis yug los nyob lub teb chaws ko os
No need to do fancy funeral to show off to the living because they dead is gone they will not see what you do for them. I see a lot of Hmong people do it backwards. In life your relatives probably never see or hear from you or get a dime from you, but when they die everyone says they will put up a cow. I mean come on really? The dead can no longer enjoy the good food with you it's too late just save that money. Have a 1 day funeral and done. This isnt Loas anymore like back in the day where it could take people a few days to get to your town. These days if they really want to see you a plane ride is a few hours away. If they cant make it to see you then they probably dont want to anyways. Justy thoughts.
It's not true it depend how you want your funeral. You can do $10,000 funeral. Most of the time the kids do to cover their face. They don't want to lose their face to their friends and relatives.
@@koslis6833 : It is a fact that most Hmong are like this. I'm talking base on statistics not the exception. Haven't seen or heard a 10,000 one yet. Lol. But I'm just glad my family is laid back and new tradition so it won't be as hard for us siblings. But when it comes to my time, I simply would make it even easier for my kids. This complicated stuff with burials and weddings really have to stop with our generation.
Niam thiab txiv ob leeg yug tau me nyuam 10 leej hos me nyuam 10 leej yug tsis tau txiv ib leeg nej xav zoo lawm lo ? Cov me tub me nthxais aw !! Lwm hnoob nco ntsoov nej cov ua li cas rau nej os mog
Tus kwv tij tsis tsim nyog koj yuav tuaj hais cov lus ntswm koj txawm koj hais los yuav tsis muaj neeg qhuas koj yog koj hlub koj niam npsum li koj hais ko ua cas koj ho tsis coj koj niam mus nrog koj nyob mas es koj txawm mus nyob deb los koj yus poj niam twb nyob hauv zos xwb nev cas koj ho tsis coj kiag los nrog koj tus poj niam nyob no koj hsis tias koj tus kwv nkawv tsis hlub koj niam no tab sis koj niam ho nrog nkawv nyob nyob tuag kiag ho koj mas hlub hlub kawg tab sis koj ho tsis pom koj niam siav es yog li no leej twg yog tus hlub duab xav kom zoo tso mam tuaj hais li koj nawb
What a heartbreaking story. I know you tried your best to care for your father but it was his stubbornness that ultimately led to his destiny. My heart aches for the elderly who have children that are greedy and hateful such as their nyabs. I pray that someday their nyabs will hate them as much too. Karma is a real thing, looks like it's already caught up to your younger brother.
Tej zaum koj muab koj txiv nkawv tshem mus nrog koj tus kwv nyob es nkawv thiaj tu siab rau koj nkawv thiaj tsis kam los nrog koj nyob lawm. Zoo li tag nej cov kwv tij yeej tsis hlub koj niam koj txiv.
Too many of these true stories that its all the same ending, there are bad mother in law, father in law, daughter in law, son in law, and good ones. There is always two side to every story, we shouldn’t jump quick to judge other people lives, just live our own and make it better if you care as you all say you do.
As a nyab I love my in laws because I love my husband xwb. Lawv tsis hlub kuv li tiam si lawv hlub kuv tus txiv and kuv hlub kuv tus txiv so kuv xav txog kuv tus txiv kuv thiaj hlub nws Niam nws txiv. That’s how that works.
Lub Siab yug los yog ib leej ntxhai ma thiab tu siab txog hnub tuag tiag os. Yu tsis ntshaw ua tus tub Kom tau tuav dab qhua tabsi Yu xav tau qhov freedom li tus tub tau xwb. Ua ib tig nyab hmoob ma nyuaj tshaj nplaw hauv qab ntuj no li, txawm muaj cai xaiv yam koj xav tau xav ua Lo koj xaiv tsis tau, yuav ua ib yam dab tsi ma yuav tsum tau kev tso cai Lo ntawm tus txiv or tej laus first ma thiaj ua tau, yuav tsum ua txhua txhua yam li Yu tus parents in-law hai ma luag thiaj nyuam qhuav pom Yu zoo me ntsi xwb...
Funerals are what breaks a family. If you're money hungry, get life insurance for your parents, equally divide expenses for the funeral and keep the rest for yourself.
I'm definitely against using thousands of dollar on a funeral especially when the children never loved their parents, but what bothers me most is when the siblings don't know how to love one another during hard time. I don't blame the wife's for acting such hateful jerk, but the sons for being a asswipe for not knowing the difference between what's right and wrong. Good luck on your family brother. You have a long way to go.
Zaj no ces yeej muaj ntau kawg li cov txiv tsev tig los ua txiv dev hos cov n tsev thiaj tig los ua txiv tsev lawm. Yog hlub n pog t yawg mas tsis tau hos hlub n tais y txiv mas tsoo hlwb rau tag nrog los tau. Tej no kuv xav tias yog tim tus tub ntau vim nws tsis paub nws tes hauj lwm tub. Yog nyab tsis pub rau noj cas tub tsis mus ua kiag me2 rau noj yog tsis ua los teb chaws no yog koj yog tub hlub n t tiag cas tsis khiav loo mus yuav los rau noj cov laus no noj me2 xwb. Cov tub nej yeej meem tu siab rau nej vim nej hais tsis tau nej tus poj n hlub cas nej ho tsis hlub es khav lub hais xwb. Kuv hais no tsis yog kuv qhuas cov poj n vim kuv yog nyab thiab yog ntxhais tib si kuv pom tias kuv n thiab t yeej taug koj txoj kev no thiab kuv yeej tu siab rau kuv cov nus ntau tshaj vim lawv tsis ua lawv tes hauj lwm tub thiab lawv ua neej tsis rua qhov muag pom tej laus li lawv thiaj txom nyem. Hos kuv yeej pom tias cov poj niam no los yeej tsis xav li tias yog tsis muaj cov laus ntxim ntxub ntawv ces kuv twb tsis tau txiv puag li thiab ntxim ntxub tsaj hais txog cov neeg siab phem,siab qia du, xav tau lwm tus li thiab xav tau ntau xwb hais mas hais tsis paub tag li xav kom nej cov txiv neej tuaj ua ke es qw rau nej xwb😂
When it comes to money, everyone wants it all but when it comes to take care the elders , no one wants to be a part of. Greedy people, karma will gets them the same way as they did to the parents!
I think love is the key to taking care of our parents. Most parents have more than two children. If children really love their parents then they should not be "jealous" of who the parents what to live with. When parents start getting sick then all children who live close by should be "all hands on deck." Everyone take turns to take the parents to the doctor so that not only one person have to take so many days off. The children who live too far should support as much as possible. A lot of elders are complainers, but as children we need to be deaf to complains from the elders. Parents will not live with you forever. All children and nyab should put their feet in the parents' shoes. How do you want to be treated by your children and nyab when you are old and sick? Taking care of the elders is similar to taking care of a baby. You have to feed them, change their diaper if applicable, take them to the doctor, etc. Your parents had to sacrifice for you when you were young, so why won't you sacrafice for your parents and in-laws?
Tsi nyob leej twg txhais khau leej twg tsi paub. Tus brother aw koj nyob deb los yog koj xav tias lawv tsi hlub koj niam thiab txiv koj kuj tso koj txoj hauj lwm tseg es coj nkawv los nrog koj nyob los pob yog koj hlub nkawv dua koj cov kwv tij na. 1 co laus mas lawv hlub cov ua tsi nrog lawv nyob dua tus nrog nyob. 1 co laus mas lawv tsi hlub lawv nyab li lawv tus ntxhais tiam si lawv xav kom lawm tus nyab hlub lawm li lawv niam. Koj cov brother ua yog heev lawm. Lawv twb faib cov nyiaj 1 leeg $5000 li lawv rho los xwb. Yog koj txhawj txog tsam tsi tau nyiaj tha koj txiv ces kuj yuav life insurance rau koj txiv xwb. Es tseem muab tej no los ua teeb meem rauj koj cov kwv tij ua dab tsi.
Cas muaj 1 txhiav Nyab siab phem ua luajt Tsuas Pom ua movie xwb kuv kuj muaj niam pog txiv Yawj thiab kuv hos Tsis paub tias yuav ua li ko rau as cov Nyab no siab phem tiag tiag
Nyob deb ces txo dej txo cawv nyob ze ces rho hluav taws hlawv. Koj yog tus nyob deb ces blame cov nyob ze. Yog nrog koj nyob ntshe koj tus poj niam twb coj ib yam thiab os
Stop pretending to be the better son. You did not do enough. You could've ask your wife to take your mom to the doctors too. You are also bound by your wife too. Stop blaming your brothers. I hate when the brother who lives outside yells at the inside one saying you dont love our parents.
Ua neeg ces qhov tej laus ntshai tshaj plaws yog mus nyob tsev laws xwb es thiaj li yug tsheej pab tub los tu yav laus, tabsis muaj tej khub niam txiv tsis muaj hmoo es yug tau tsheej pab los tsis muaj ib tug hlub tej laus, tu siab kawg li os.
Tus me txiv tsev aws moj 3 tug tij laug siab phem phem rau koj niam koj txiv nkawv ua yam saib tsis taus koj txiv lo lawv twb yug tau 1 pab ces tsis ntev no 3 leeg ntawv cov tub cov ntxhais yuav lo tsim pauj rau lawv 3 tug ntawv xwb vim lawb siab ohem dhau ces koj 3 kwv tij ko yug tau 1 co ces yeej yuav npam lawv xwb vim.ua neej nyob lo tsis hlub tuag lo haj yam.tsis hlub ces tsis tsim nyog yug 1 pab tub coob coob li nej pab kwv tij ko os
Txhob tus tub los npaj tshaib txhob tus kiv los npaj laus thiaj tsis muaj tej xwm txheej no. Love oneself have no children so they don’t fight. Spend all your earning on yourself no regrets. Hmong parents have too many children. Their children are their hopes and dreams. They live for their children. That is me. Too late because they shattered my hopes and dreams.
Kuv kuj xav tias xyhov yog lub neej niam no muab minyuam noj milk xwb es minyuam thiaj tsis txawj hlub tej laus los yog teb chaws tau zoo dhau lawm los yog nyob ntawm txoj hmoo ua cas tej minyuam nim no es tsis paub hlub tej laus li lawm. Peb ntseeg tias tu tib tu kiv los npaj laus tabsis kuv hnov2 tej neej neeg uas tej niag tib Nyab tsis hlub tej laus es tej laus quaj2 txom2 nyem es ho muab Pov tsev laus vim tej niag Nyab tsis nyiam qias2 tej laus tsis kam yuav tsis kam tu yog tej niag tib yuav tej laus ces yuav sib nrauj mas kuv tsis tau muaj Nyab muaj vauv los kuv twb ntshai2 thiab zoo li kuv twb Pom nyob kuv hauv pliag lawm mas tu siab heev os Hmoob uas peb lub neej rooj teb no vam2 meej los ntu laus yog tau tej Nyab tsis nyiam tsis hlub ces tsis vam meej kiag li os mog
Most nyab are nice, but some are horrible. Remember nyab will have her turn she have her own kids and nyab. Her kids will do the same as she did to her husband parents.
Shame on the sons. U can't even spend your own money to bury the woman who gave u life. Nej ce yog ib co maum xwb o. Mus hlub nej niam tais yawm txiv tshaj nej niam thiab txiv. Cia kom nej cov tub rov los ua rau nej yav laus.
Cov tub nyab xab maim no ces yug lo yuam kev lawm os vim thaum.me hlub tag txua yam thaum loj hlob tuaj ces tsis hlub niam hlub txiv li tsis tsim.nyog yug me nyuam coob coob os txawm yug coob lo tsis tau kev hlub kev pab os peb cov hmoob ces tos thsum tag sim neej thiab tuag lawm mam li tua nyuj tua npua tua qaib ua txua yam rsu thaum tuag lawm xwb na ua neej nyob ho tsis hlub es tos ncaim lub ntiaj teb es mam li ua npaum ub npaum no lo tsis muaj nuj nqe os
So sad, all these horrible nyab mistreating their in laws. It's common sense that if you want your spouse to respect and treat your own parents well you need to do the same to his/her parents. These men can't stand up for their own parents and let their wives mistreat their own parents.
Ntuj es!! me nus hmong xav tias ntshe kuv niam kuv txiv thiaj raug tsim xwb no cas ho yog nej niam nej txiv raug ib yam thiab tu siab kawg tiag cov tub nyab es ntxub cov laus tiamsis ntshaw nyob luag lub tsev thiab pob nyiaj kuv txiv los quaj2 tuag kiag lawm mam hnov qab txoj kev txom nyem siab no tiag thov kom sd txhob ua li no rau cov laus lawm os nyias ua nyias ris tiag2 li os
It’s so sad, Almost every family have this issue. After funeral all siblings end up splitting, It’s useless n waisting time n money to pay someone to come foom kom all night long.
Thaum tuag los twb tseem tsis hlub qees tsuas yog lam ua qhia qhua thiab ua kom tau ntsej tau muag xwb. Yog hlub niam txiv tiag nyiaj 5,000-10,000 xwb yeej muab tau los ua niam txiv ntees Tsis tas yuav dag tus niam/txiv uas tseem muaj txoj sia nyob nyiaj los ua ntees. Kuv yeej pom ntawm qhov muag kiag cov tub Nyab uas siv niam pog txiv yawg tej nyiaj thaum tseem ua neej nyob. Thaum niam pog txiv yawg tuag tas ces nws kawg txom nyem xwb. Mloog tej no tas cov tsis muaj tub los Txhob tu siab.
Very interesting topic for some of us to learn in the future so that we won't make the same mistakes like this story. In my opinion, when it comes to money at least 1 person will disagree with the rest. Problem is no one has money when it comes to funeral and if they do, it would be a happy ending. The best thing is that the parents should have enough money or life insurance to cover themselves will only resolved this issue. It will not work out because they don't know how to use their budget wisely.
hmoob muaj ib los lus tias nyuj ua nyuj thauj, nees ua nees tsis. ua neeg nyob ces nyias ua rau nyias xwb. leej twg tsis hlub leej twg niam thisb txiv ces lwm nub nws cov menyuas yuav ua rau nws thiab. especially peb cov pojniam ua txhub ntxhub yus tus niam pog txiv yawg. yus yuav tsum xav tias luag niam luag txiv tus luag tuag lawm peg tsawg tus qaib tus npuas es mam tu tau luag ciaj zoo nraug ntxiag rau yus los puag pw es yuav tsum tau hlub luag niam luag txiv ib yam li yus hlub yus niam yus txiv thiab.
Txhob tu sgiab os tus kwv. Txoj Kev ua neeg tsis muaj kwv tij los tu2 siab muaj los sib ceg xwb tsis muaj los kuj zoo os mog . Ua zoo yeej tau zoo ua phem yuav tau phem os tus kwv .
Nej es ib leeg $5000 xwb es nej tseem tsis kam thiab ces nej tsis tha sib aim es yug nej tej me nyuam li os , tos nej ho mus rho nej txiv $25000 los twb vim nej tsis kam rho nej li nyiaj nes , kuv xav hais tias nej txhob sib aim lawm xwb.
No one know what happen behind a close door. We only see the outside of the house and fancy car. This is why people always try to show off when their parents die. You need to love and care when you’re parents still alive.
Greedy brothers! As the elders say, what goes around will come around. Your children will treat you the same way you treat your parents. What a shame!! Tsis tsim nyog koj niam koj txiv yug nej cov kwv tij los ua ib zaug neeg. You will be blessed with good deeds because you treated your parents with love and respect.
So sad luag tuag lawm yus nyob tom qab yus yuav khaws txoj kev txom nyem los coj mus tag ib tiam li os cov niag tub nyab siab phem thiab lim hiam heev rau luag tus laus yus yeej yuav tsi dim lub txim li kws siab tsi zoo thiab yuav tau txais txoj kev mob siab mus tag yus lub neej...
If you can't be real man, don't get marry. If you marry, be sure you can control your wife and not wearing the skirt. You can always replace a wife but not your parents. My in laws has 5 sons, I hope this never happens. They love their parents like there's no tomorrow.
Hmoob lub neej ruam qauj thiab ua ruam tsab ntse nrog pluag tsab muaj ces to lub qhov ncauj lam ua thawd tha thawd tha thiab ua zog koog xwb os! Neeg ruam qauj ces lub qhov ncauj HAIS li cas yog li ntawd thiab lom ua li lub qhov ncauj hais but that doesn't work because TALKING IS CHEAP! YOU NEED TO KNOW "HOW TO APPLY A SKILLS" TO THE SITUATION! Yog muaj tseeb li txhua tus Hmoob hais thiab QHOV NCAUJ UA ZOG KOOG CES HMOOB TWB VAM MEEJ TSHAJ TXHUA HAIV NEEG NYOB THOOB QAB NTUJ LOS LAWM NTEV!
Cas g hnov koj mention txog koj tus wife li es koj tsuas paub koj cov tij laug niam ntxawm xwb nas nej pab tub koj 1 tug phem g tshaj 1 tug li raws li kuv xav
Cov nyab es saib phem phem li no mas nws hlub nws nuam nws txiv xwb....yog nws cov nyab ua rau nws niam nws txiv mas nws txawj chim kawg tab sis nws tsis lees paub qhov nws ua rau luag li ...cov no yog nyab poj dab
This is so sad but its the truth, happens all the time when it comes to burying parents. I know for a fact this will happen soon eith my husband's family
Tus me nus cas koj twb yog tus me tus hlub taus hais taus coj tau iam tau koj tus nyab cas koj tsis hlub niam thiab txiv kawg tej laus lawm yog yus pom tias qhovtwg yuav zoo dua ces yuam kiag xwb. Me nus aws koj twb yog tus thig tau cev es koj twb tsis hlub lawm cov tais pim yuav ua li cas hlub ob tug laus. Nrog niam thiab txiv tu siab ua yug tau nej coob leej lo tsis muaj tus hlub tau. Sorry koj yog tus tsis hlub nkawv tshaj dua ntais vim koj yog tus ua tau koj tsis xav ua xwb. Sorry nawb for my unkind words
I'm going to have to be honest on this situation or situations, there are two sides to every story... Theirs, yours, and the truth... I seen and heard many stories like this one but when you actually take your time and also listen to the dil, I can see y they r the way they r towards their in laws... Love has to come from both ends...
Agreed. Love them and they will love you too since they're an outsider. You don't love them but expected them to love you and you only love others who doesn't live with you. People has eyes and hearts. They will only give you the love they received from you.
Brother I see that you blame your brothers but you are very much at fault as well. You she should have changed to work locally and bring them to live with you when your mom is still alive. And when your dad didn't want to come live with you after the death of your dad...you could easily convince him to move in with you. Tell him same dab qhua she will still fine you and before you move him he and you could just tell your mom that he move to live with you.