I feel like a lot of people are talking about the surface level stuff about this song being about a stalker, but the thing that immediately stuck out to me about this song is the sincerity of it. This song to me feels like hating yourself and your life so much and wishing your life was someone else’s, so much that it becomes an obsession. It’s obviously pushing this all to an extreme but it really felt like this song was about dysphoria, and the horrible thoughts it can lead someone to have. I live every day wishing I had the life of a lot of cis girls I know. For me personally this thought has never become an obsession with a particular person or anything like in this song, but it’s such a weird feeling to have that I’ve always found really hard to unpack. The envy and jealousy that comes with being trans can be very powerful, and this song feels like the worst and most extreme version of that. Idk I’m rambling at this point I just am so fascinated by where this album is going and the fact that she could make a song about a stalker this beautiful is insane
it makes me so unendingly happy to know that you feel the same way. the "and for once i felt just like you" line makes me feel such powerful things. what else would know everything about me, feel like a creeping sensation, stalking me, knowing everything ive done or will ever do, but manages to be the one thing i dont know about but dysphoria?
This is same way i interpreted the song before finding out the artists is also transgender, i denied it at the time but after I found out I was like oh no way so it IS about that. Also for me it's not just about dysphoria but much more things, I live in constant pain due to my illness, I'm also mentally in pain because of my OCD ASD crippling anxiety ADHD and something I forgot about, I'm also addicted to opioids (morphine) because of the pains and dependent on psychiatric medicine, I'm also homeless for half a year now and when I thought I finally found a person I will spend my life with and coexist in a symbiotic relationship helping out each other with our disorders, they left me all alone in the shit their parents are mostly responsible for, my whole life I'm dissociated and I can't fully feel that I am myself, I thought one day that I'll never be truly free and happy bevause I would never be able to jump around as a pure consciousness from person to person and experience all the other lives that aren't for me, I always wanted so desperately to experience everything I could and couldn't in my life, probably because my own life is so uncomfortable and I'll never be truly who I am, I was given someone else's body and life that never will truly feel like it's mine, everyone got one to play this game, to have this experience, this unique, extremely personal and intimate experience, and i got a glitches, bugged, broken version of it, I got the one where someone already clicked play and created the avatar for me, where someone for shits and laughs just started new playtrough and selected randomised look and opposite gender before I got my controller being the next in line, and in forbidden to start again, I could only throw the controller away tell the game to fuck off and end it, or play through with the feeling of disappointment and frustration, get the spoiled experience and end up unfulfilled, there's truly no good way out of that, and it's horryfing because it's an actual real life for me not a game and there's nothing past the end, there's nothing more to be, to experience, it's all there is all I get and I can't do anything about it. people seem to forget how fucked up and dire existentially the situation for trans people actually is, we ourselves forget about it, we want to, we are expected to live happily once we get on hrt and somehow be cured, we want to believe it ourselves and get shit scared when the dysphoria is still there sometimes even worse, it's tragic honestly, the blind person may miss out on the visual part of the experience but it's still inherently their experience, it's even more unique in ways, all the horrible things you can be born with are so fucked up like chronic pain for example but honestly the trans experience is exceeding all of them in one crucial way, while all of them are horrible and much more hard in certain ways even deadly, the trans experience means you don't get to be yourself, ever. You're born okay fine then you start puberty and In most cases and the ones Im focusing on, your body your entire physical form starts to drive away the other way, the other road and then you're expected to be in the same route but you aren't, everyone assumes you are so you slowly desintegrate when the "you" everyone assumes you are starts to develop in a crooked way like a tumor where your true self was supposed to grow, and people will never understand how truly disgusting and degenerated it feels, how easy it is to fall into drugs or kill yourself by neglect when you can't even feel that the person you're playing as is in fact you, the process of ripping off that cancerous growth from every fiber of your existence, literally from your brain, and being expected to suddenly grow there as yourself like a healthy person that grows since the beginning of their life, when you just got born and just now have a place to grow and develop, to form a regular human being, this time yourself, with all the social development inter personal and the good stuff etc how this process is excruciatingly painful and confusing, and in most cases we get absolutely no support or guidance from our culture or psychologists, what we do get is actually the opposite, were called pedophiles for some reason, we are told we will never be ourselves, that we aren't who we think we are and we're deluded, that they know better ourselves than we do, that were degenerated, ill, weird, deranged, disgusting, perversed, that we are whores, that we do it for attention when the attention is worst thing that happens to us recently, that we want to spread some ideology, our bodies are called mishapen and they point out our differences, they loudly point out the things we want to rip off from our body, we are forced into the opposite genders bathrooms where we stick out and are ashamed, into the opposite prisons where we're raped (I'm about to go into a male prison if I won't escape my country soon) into the hospital Branches of opposite gender where we are abused, pointed out, our intimacy stripped publicly in news, online debates, ourd bodies literały metaphorically stripped down and discussed by people who have no idea what they're talking about, used for politics without our consent, socially raped so to say. It's honestly paralysing, it's making you speechless, your legs weak and your mind starts to look for all the exits but there are none, it's now what your life will be and you can't do shit about that, and it can get even worse with what's seems to come in the future. Sorry for so much rambling but I'm baked as fuck and just had some trans thoughts,I hope it's not too rough
@@maya_void3923I'm so sorry and genuinely at a loss of words after reading this. It really isn't fair. I hope you keep fighting, despite how hard existence itself is fighting back each day. It's naive to say from the comfort of my phone but I want to believe that there are better days waiting for you. Days that will alleviate some of the constant struggle. I won't find the right words here but I'm wishing you the best of luck
@@the_boss45 Language and slang evolves with every passing day, just because you don't understand something- that doesn't mean they're the one who's wrong.
@@Selfency white people on the internet think they own black culture and aave only someone who thinks they’re owed the world can use words from another vernacular incorrectly with good conscience and only white people would come together to defend that as they know they’re equally as guilty
i’m a semi-new underscores fan but i haven’t been this enamored with a rollout’s visuals, production, songwriting, imagery, etc etc in a really long time. i’m so excited to see where this all leads to. i am super interested in video production and these last two have been so stunning and really unlike anything i’ve ever seen
Returning to this MV after listening to Wallsocket a good amount really makes everything that makes this video phenomenal shine through even more. The amount of callbacks to Shoot to kill, kill your darlings and Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, deftly conveying aspects and themes from all three songs into one MV to demonstrate the collective lack of understanding people can develop towards one another based on surface level information, could only have been pulled off with an insane amount of foresight and planning. The final shot of S*nny sobbing after what she goes through is my favorite part as it especially contrasts Mara's feelings throughout this track perfectly; Mara feels S*nny doesn't know or understand who she is, when she herself doesn't fully understand S*nny, either. underscores, unsurprisingly, has done it yet again. Brilliant, compelling, subtle, and captivating. MV of the year. Wallsocket AOTY.
EVERYBODY HAS BAD DAYS, DON'T WORRY, ITS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD THERE'S ALWAYS TOMORROW! YOU CAN DO IT! I'M READY TO SUPPORT YOUR NEXT EFFORT! I'M ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU!
EVERYBODY HAS BAD DAYS, DON'T WORRY, ITS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD THERE'S ALWAYS TOMORROW! YOU CAN DO IT! I'M READY TO SUPPORT YOUR NEXT EFFORT! I'M ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU!
EVERYBODY HAS BAD DAYS, DONT WORRY, ITS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD THERE’S ALWAYS TOMORROW! YOU CAN DO IT! I’M READY TO SUPPORT YOUR NEXT EFFORT! I’M ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU!
i don't know why but this song made me cry so hard. the parasocial stalker tones are obvious, but the sincerity of the vocal and the genuine sadness/loneliness hit so hard. extremely excited for this new underscores direction. hyperpop goddess and also an alt legend.
SHES EVOLVED SO MUCH and yet she still NAILS the aesthetic she's going for every time its insane . Both from a lyrical standpoint AND a songwriting standpoint AND the visual aspect of it all. it is Crazy
@Not Xenogenisis u took the words right out of my mouth, she's so unique and always manages to add that underscores spark to her music that you can recognize every time
I know this ties into S*nny's story but ive always visualized this song as April expressing herself of channeling another person's experience through their reflection of gender dysphoria and post-transition catharsis. I hear April looking back at her past self and as happy as she is now, she envies the innocence she used to have. She envies how things were, and she is distraught about the fact that this kid version of her will never know who she is now. This really feels established in the second bridge and then on. "Wore your clothes, took your pills, cried your makeup off and for once I felt just like you" This was a time when April and/or this character was less free, wore clothes they didnt want, didnt express themself, and took medication. As free as they are now, a part of them aches to feel that innocence again. To for once re-experience the child who hasnt gone through the trauma that they were bound to endure. This feels supported by April's production attachment to the DDR4 samples that represent this shallow form of support. Showcasing what little genuine love she and/or this character may have had at a time when they had needed it most. One of the most beautiful and complex songs in recent years. Underscores never fails to break ceilings with their expression and artistry.
@@JaneCogan05 i'm assuming they're referring to the feeling of being dissociated and distant from those around you, sort of idealizing people in your life and seeing them as more real and authentic than you. feeling as if you're watching others from afar and wishing you were like them. like, relating to deeper meaning or general human emotion in it than the very literal context of the song at least that's the aspect of it i relate to
because of this song i felt so in touch with it.. i couldn’t stop crying from the lyrics and the voice was so perfect.. i felt this song was about that self hatred and awareness you have of it.. knowing you cant take compliments or anything nice numb to those words because your heart has light but runs cold.
That knowing smirk at 2:43....you're so good at portraying emotion in a genuine way. Says so much, this video. You are doing what all of us could never put into words on so many levels and songs. Hoping you're having a good today- you deserve. ❤
3:22 That shot of the dude with the flair smoke making it look like he's lost a arm and is billowing blood is so smart and good foreshadowing that his deployment will not go as he wanted. Trans excellence on display.
something to be said about this particular song guiding us through a showcase of every story told in wallsocket. it's like we're being invited to consider how authors regard their stories. oh god is that another layer of subtext in seventy seven dog years? how does a story or the author's tending to it change now that it's been told? i'm very high
Holyy that's actually a really good interpretation. I just thought that this was a song that's sung from the perspective of a stalker, but I kinda like this perspective of a parasocial relationship for the song, even if it doesn't match some of the verse lyrics
i LOVE hearing all the different interpretations, I read into parts of it as a continuation of the bank teller's id theft/embezzlement from the last one and other parts as someone failing to hide their inner thoughts and self in general
After letting the album settle for a bit there is genuinely no song that strikes me like this one. It's just absolutely gutting. One of the top comments said it's dealing with dysphoria and I couldn't agree more. I'm not trans but I do experience dysphoria regularly and every word of this song brings that forward for me. I feel like it's not even talking about stalking, it's just two versions of oneself or yourself and the image of who you'd want to be.
