As someone on the spectrum, it seems to be mainly from frustration over not being able to communicate what is upsetting us, and also overstimulation( busy, noisy environment, uncomfortable clothes, etc.)
My daughter was diagnosed hypersensory and ASD.as a young adult and she finally learned how to open up . Turns out that what I read as a discipline problem was mainly her dealing with being overwhelmed and overstimilated. A therapist helped her find coping tools and things have gotten much better
i get angry because of extreme anxiety, when i feel threatened i defend myself with anger. (my heart starts beating fast, i start to sweat, begin to shake and also stutter). I have lost 4 jobs because of anger outbursts, when people yell at me it scares me and i yell back. I lost a job i had for 10 years because my stupidvisor jumped up from behind me and started yelling, lunging and swearing at me, (he was only 4' tall so i didn't see him at first), he scared me so much that i told him that i was going to kill him and some more words, so i got the sack. YAY
I think it's important to also correlate what therapies they are doing. I have consistently seen aggressive children and teens doing ABA to almost immediately become less stressed and significantly diminish aggression when parents are trained to use more typical communication (80% experience-sharing), stop prompting and asking questions, and doing all the strange things that people do in the name of 'therapy'. I've literally seen kids go from multiple instances of aggression per day over several years to 1 or 2 episodes sporadically in 2 weeks or 1 month. The way that autistic people are treated will lead to emotions like anger and frustration, which is where behavior stems from (and fear). Dr. Masgutova also found in her reflex integration work correlations between the fear response in the brain and specific reflexes and aggressive behavior.
Hi April, I found your comment very interesting to read. I am a mom of an autistic 10 year old and I would love to find out more about what you mean by typical communication. I worry about his stress and cortisol levels as he has a very low tolerance for frustration. I appreciate any help you can give me.
@@cynthiab9229 Non-autistic people communicate to share experiences 80% of the time, and about 20% to get information, make requests, etc. Research has shown autistic children have 99% communication to only get needs met (0 sharing), BUT I would bet that those children in the studies were all doing ABA at the time, which is primarily focused on instrumental communication. In my experience when parents are educated on how to normalize their interactions, their children reciprocate and share more often, some getting to the 70-80% communication to share. I'm talking about the purpose of communication here, of course every person is individual and we need to also look at things like the means/method they need to communicate, co-occurring motor disorders, etc. I am on Facebook and LinkedIn if you have specific questions , you can message me there. The function of communication is the priority or it doesn't matter what kind of tool, device, speech, signs, etc. are taught, they will not be used in the way that people are hoping for. Hope that makes sense.
How are you supposed to stop asking questions and prompting? What other ways to communicate are there? I'm lvl 1 asd myself and if I had a kid further along on the spectrum according to this even I wouldn't know how to talk to him.
The reason someone becomes aggressive is not always violence related, although its still often times is abuse related. Specifically narcissistic abuse causes violence more than any other behavior.
Yes but learning narcissistic abuse isn't rational. Everyone gets abused by psychopaths that are even worse and they do therapy and move on. If you hate your abuser why turning into one? Isn't it hypocritical? That's how most people think. Imagine the whole world is abusive you'd still hate the whole world, it's nature so emotions make 0 sense. Nature teaches you to hate abusers for self preservation of course. We are the offspring of nature. It makes no sense to go against it. It's depressing and painful.
This is very informative! My child is 7 and displaying symptoms of autism and has been extremely aggressive towards fellow students and faculty in school. I’m so glad I found this video it’s brought me so much clarity. I’m going to recommend that his team watch this video!
Yep, NTs never ask, that’s my major trigger that gets me angry. Complete inconsideration of others. Autistic people see/feel covert aggression and gaslighting, the angry results are a symptom not the root cause = the NTs are the aggressors.
@@starr970 In cases in which an autistic individual is nonverbal/nonspeaking, often AAC may be used to communicate and potentially answer the question. Even if someone is verbal, often while in meltdown (at least in my case) when I can be more aggressive, it is also difficult to communicate that. It is only in reflection that I can give out why, and use that to fix issues I in the future.
@@jonaswagner2826 that is what I was thinking, my daughter is on the spectrum. There is a very rare case that she can give an exact reason as to why she has the emotions she is experiencing. Or she chooses to shut down all together. It’s so complex I wish I understood more
Ok Ivey then why does my 7 year old severe non verbal autistic daughter loves pulling my hair out from the root? Why does she kick my chest and goes for my throat? Why she has her other siblings traumatized? If she gets scared when she watches something she goes toward aggression until she calms down or makes someone cry. Autism is not special when it’s severe it hurts the whole family. She has a aac device al which she refuses to use at home because she does not like demands so aggression is her way. She does not like to use sign language because she does not like to be told what to do as well. So what’s the answer. I’m so tired of people that have autism and are verbal bringing down parents that are dealing with aggressive autism and trying to figure out a way to better communicate with our kids. 😢😢😢😢
My nephew tries to scratch our eyes out, bites to the point we need stitches, screams at the top of his lungs, bangs his head on the floor when he doesnt get what he wants. He doesnt care about hurting anyone or anything.
It’s a meltdown due to sensory, emotional and demand overload. It’s not the same as a tantrum in a non-autistic child and it’s not about ‘getting what he wants’. The only thing he wants is to stop feeling like he feels in these moments. The frustration and impatience of those around him only serve to exacerbate and prolong these feelings and what you see in his behaviour.
@@tracik1277 with my son, sometimes it is about not getting what he wants. He’s verbal, and he tells me it’s because I won’t give him something that he wants-usually because it’s something I can’t afford or he wants to go somewhere I don’t have time to go at that moment
As a highly autistic person myself I have come up with many ways to avoid things. Avoid poeple and smash objects up of little value or whatever. I go silent and avoid poeple and take anger on objects. I have an old freezer outside waiting to get scrapped and a hammer outside of which i batter this fridge with if i get mad or I feel myself getting furious. This freezer Is old and nobody wants or owns It, and It beats hitting a person out of frustration which Is a criminal offence i urge all poeple ho are violent It hot tempered or beat things to do this.
While it is better than assaulting someone. One can easily debate that through the excercising of such violent and aggressive behaviors, you are indeed practicing them. It is a fridge today. If you imagine your boss to be the fridge on several occasions then assault the fridge with your bosses face in mind; this is the first step required before transitioning into a violent act that we have practiced with that person in mind. So it's easy to debate that these violent actions against the fridge are mere illusions of controlling your anger. To actually control it: we have to control ourselves. Engaging in a violent act would easily help breed more violence or states of mind willing to engage in them. Hopefully you will attempt to find healthier alternatives for your own health.
My Autistic son's father is abusive, and most of my son's aggressive incidents occur when he has transitioned from dad's home to mine...too bad I cannot change the custody situation.
My thing is that these kids who are diagnosed with autism have physical aggression where their anger is expressed through immediately hurting other people or hurting themselves to get other people to feel bad. I feel it's sociopathy and just diagnosed as this less scary thing called the autism spectrum. When you're angry, scared, or threatened, yes you may feel the desire to relieve that but when you're not a sociopath, you don't seek to maim another person every time and immediately. For the non-sociopath, anger can be expressed in so many different ways besides causing harm to self or others. And it's also more telling to see this behavior in really young Autistic children. Like where does the violence come from? Parents don't know! Sure in ABA you give these alternative toys to bite/chew on but that's just learned and trained for rewards like sweets and video time. And yet often these kids still go for another person before they're redirected to take it out on a toy.
My daughter gets aggressive maybe about once a week...it was worse a few times in the past couple years...so bad we called the police. She ended up at a Partial out patient hospital. A few weeks ago the psychiatrist put her on a mood type medicine but I really don't think that's the way to fix things. So we are doing therapy...she still takes meds for ADHD but that type of medication going to fix her.
Details would help the psychologist likely requires family therapy with her parents present too. But therapy in autism is about negotiation not coping skills.
Your studies in Autism (and general conclusions) are deeply flawed, as they show statistical effect, rates, etc., i.e.acting upon aggression but without getting into a long discussion here at the moment not all aggression as emergent properties of a child (or older) autonomic state regulation of adaptive defensive behaviors (i.e., limbic-autonomic sympathetic nervous system mobilizing for defensive fight/flight responses). Essentially, the focus CRITICALLY needs to be about empathy and engagement, about cultivating the child's (or older) internal (or interoceptive) feelings of well-being and safety (i.e., autonomic state regulation/ventral vagus) . For example: "Is it safe or not safe to engage with others and mu surroundings or is my sympathetic nervous system mobilized for defensive fight/flight or worse hypoactive withdrawal, parasympathetic shutdown, dissociation (i.e. meaning, "It is not safe to engage with others and my world"). These are NOT, we repeat NOT external environmental contingencies of reinforcement. No, No and No! Rather it is an understanding based upon real-evdence driven science, neuroanatomy, neurophysiology, Interpersonal Neurobiology and not antiquated and for all intents and purposes discredited "Learning Theory." We are talking about the paradigm shift beginning in the mid 1990's to Developmental Affective Neuroscience (which includes Polyvagal Theory and Interpersonal Neurobiology, Infant and Childhood Mental Health; Interregulation Theory, etc) and the accompanied biopsychosocial dynamics of cultivating safety through dyadic affect co-regulated relationships (not looking at mere effects and modifying them through external contingencies of reinforcement which is a sham or a focus on one tiny piece, declarative memorization and reprogramming of surface behaviors and effects, which results in increased releated stress hormones, vasopression, cortisol, etc.) . @37.37 you talk about theories of aggression related to how an individual (child) or older is perceiving in incoming formation (social-cognitive information processing). This along with operant conditioning and Bandura are now considered to be essentially defunct, antiquated. As they and you are attributing or teasing out the neurophysiological from the social-cognitive. This is wrong. We now understand a right oribital frontal cortex, limbic/HPA autonomic epigenetic relational dynamic. It is how our social-emotional autonomic nervous system (beneath the level of conscious awarenss or neuroceptively) is internally registering feelings safety with others and environment or sympathetics that are mobilized for fight/flight defense responses or parasympathetic withdrawal/shutdown. Furthermore, it is not external contingences of reinforcement(i.e.,operant conditioning) that need to be changed (which is highly selective or circumscribed) because we are never talking about A, B, C map which is embrassingly bankrupt and simplistic but instead about Cultivating the condition of visual-facail auditory-prosodic, tactile gestural, relational implict-procedural interactions that again are either perceived by the child (or older) as safe, unsafe or life threatening. The latter dynamically and bi-directionally shifts with physiological state and with each state (autonomic safety or sympathetic mobilized for fight/flight or parasympathetic immbolization behaviors, such as withdrawal/dissociation) comes an associated emergent set of behaviors. "Behaviors" are emergent proerties of autonomic relational state. This has nothing to do with the bankruptcy and simplicity of operant conditioning but rather cultivating with the child (or older) an overall interpersonal relational dynamic or internal or interoceptive feelings of safety. You have parts correct in your Meta-Theory of Aggression but it is fundmaentally off, as cognition or perception of the environment is never a "faulty perception" but reflective of an adaptive and emergent property of perceived cues of safety vs perceived cues of danger not at a "cognitive level" but at an mplicit-procedural, subcortical and autonomic level. A person can be "corrected in his perception that the environment is safe" however his/her body is saying no! The other part (MAJOR) that is missing is the shifts again in autonomic state directed tied with paradigm shift to our understanding of our mammalian autonomic nervous system as a social-emotional system and as a neural regulation of autonomic state, again, alll doing the child's (or older) "Feeling state" the somatomotor ventral vagus system. All of this is tied to Polyvagal Theory, Stephen Porges It is not how we respond to behavior to make less of it occur (vis a vis operant conditioning ABA) but about, again interpersonal relational-felt safety with other and enviornment, defensive/aggressive (or withdrawal) behaviors then adaptively shift naturally and sponatneously in accordance to internal feelings of safety with others, between others and not falsely, discretely in a declarative memorized or recondition manner (which artifically splits the neurophysiology from the behavior/environment). We do NOT want to "prevent the behaviors" from occurring we rather we need to become mor empathic and educated in an evidence based driven biopsychosocial understanding and help the child naturally shift autonomic state which supp0orts a different set of emergent behaviors. In other words all behaviors are adaptive and reflective of the child's autonomic state and by cultivating the conditions (not selective reinforced behavioral contingencies) to shift the child's limbic-autonomic state (feelings ) to increased relationally registered, assessed and felt-safety. When you reduce "Behavior" to willful, intentional or cognitive functions, i.e., the four functions of behavior (gainig access to object, gaining attention, escape or automatic reinforcemnent) you are in danger of offending your own intelligence and trashing the potentiality of the preceding part of the presentation.
My son wasn’t properly diagnosed in his disabilities. As a married adult with two autistic kids he struggles as a parent. Mostly feeling defeated all the time. One of the kids is aggressive when he can’t self regulate. I myself struggle to understand all this info. We need help in understanding.
@@lapassurs5383 Simply, but a layered nuanced process that takes time, it is about cultivating the underlying foundations of felt-safety. Aggression is an adaptive sign/response of someone who’s nervous system is in a state (sometimes chronic) of hyperarousal, high sympathetic-adrenal response (I.e., fight/flight), thus the world around me “Does not feel safe” is “not safe”, so I respond accordingly. It is not a question at all of “re-directing behaviors” but finding moments for ourselves or our children where one finds in their surroundings, environment through moments of back and forth co-regulation (interaction beneath the words) a sense of interoceptive (internal) felt-safety with others and surroundings. Then those underlying foundations of felt-safety begin to become register, felt, experienced. Again, it is Never about “re-directing” external behaviors, or labeling “appropriate vs. inappropriate behaviors.”
That's not autism. The majority of violent people are psychopaths. Aggression in autism can occur when autistic people are exposed to too much violence, even if not at home, society can have that impact or new people giving a bad example, laughing at the bad behavior etc.