Understanding This Con of The Narcissist IS THE KEY to Your Freedom 

These videos are so eerily accurate it’s bone chilling. I still can’t wrap my head around this entire experience. It’s almost like I was bewitched and thrown into an alternate reality and then sent back to my real life when it was over. I can’t make sense of it at all. It’s beyond comforting to know I’m not alone here. Thank you 🙏 you’re helping me save my life.

It's the confusion of how a narc mother can be so generous, kind, yet so cruel, so manipulative, gaslighting, no empathy, laughs at you being abused, while pretending to help to care!!!!! Very sick twisted 🤧

Put your Heavenly Father first and they can't get in to control and manipulate. Because you will always love Him more than the narcissist.

They all know what they are doing is wrong, because they switch it off and on depending on the person or circumstance.

There is a Garth Brooks song that says “you couldn’t see it coming, because you were standing way to close”.

it is also eery that every time my narc husband pulled a passive aggressive stunt or rage... and I said hell no, and left. it pushed me on to great blessings and kind people. my art career exploded. I have more opportunity ahead of me than I ever imagined. and in learning about narcissism late in life from this narc, he untangled the narcissistic abuse of my father and family. that shattered me into full PTSD epileptic seizure and blackout at 54 years old. so as nasty as the experience in my late 60's has been..... it also resolved decades of trauma and confusion. and has jettisoned me to a whole new free spirited life as an artist. Amazing. what men mean for evil, God means for good.

Yes, we were convinced that they loved us. But, when the selfish manipulation takes control, we know something is wrong.

It’s so important to stay vigilant but calm vigilant - and protect ourselves from these bizarre people with deep disorder in them. They’re an empty shell, that’s all.

Got him out after 30 years .... But took me 28 To recover... And I see now The silent treatments It's like I was in a fog unloved Now thank god I'm in the light I can hear the birds ... Thank you jesus.... 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

Hi Paula, I am a recovering alcoholic with 15 year's sobriety, and when I realized what I was dealing with, I told my sister i have to recover from this mess like an addiction. Now I know why I said that. Thanks so much. I only realized that after finding out i was with the devil himself.

WONDERFUL explanation of the narcissist’s “con job.” They steal our identities and strip us of our souls, virtually. Loved this video. Such a clear explanation. As always.❤

"The Narcissism makes them, and this is crucial, that they are always right about everything, that they know more than other people, and that they never do anything wrong." Black and white thinking , never held accountable because to do so would punch a hole in the narcissistic mask. Just wow. Paula I thank God for all you do for this community. Even though I have been separated from this evil for almost a year, the trauma bond is extremely hard to deal with, and remains. This video is so helpful in understanding the process. Funny, I'm cognizant she needs supply, but she isn't at all. It must be a horrible way to live, sucking life force from any supply you can get, like a vampire. The level of deception these people deal with is amazing. I used to wonder, "Who lied to you to make you think you were so superior to everyone else" I know the answer is the master of lies, the devil himself.

I have freed myself from my narcissistic family. Sure it hurt at the time, but it had to happen for my sake. Tip for all of you! Learn to love yourself and put yourself first.

This is brilliant understanding, thank you. Im reaching the point where I no longer crave the narc but starting to see him as unappealing, and pathetic, has not been easy "work" to reach this perspective. Yes, 1st we must understand who they are, truly, vs the mask version of what we believed. When that mask crumples, its shocking to see how ugly they truly are. Their hatred is so intense.

I recommend frequent massages, hugs from people, or pets, and chocolates. In addition to dopamine, oxytocin withdrawal is part of the ‘trauma bond’ These activities independently stimulate oxytocin release.

Thank you Paula, this video was really helpful. I found out about narcissism a couple of years ago, after having been through narcisstic abuse from my husband of 37years. I thank God and the universe for helping me to find this information through video's like yours. I believe a miracle happened in my life when I was enlightened about this subject, I decided to exercise and get healthy and I lost a lot of weight. Suddenly I felt stronger and more confident and like I was getting my life back, I found my voice and started to stand up for myself. I am now making my plans to leave this situation and start a new life on my own. Thanks to people like you Paula for making these videos and helping so many people who are caught up in these toxic relationships.

I was raised by a narcissistic mother but I didn’t know it. All I knew was I needed her validation to feel loved but as soon as I got comfortable with believing I had it she would pull the rug from under me - always in front of people who never seemed to be as shocked as I was. I felt unlovable and inadequate and it seemed to roll out into every aspect of my life. It made me physically sick with unexplained pain making me week and even more vulnerable which played right into her game. Now that my mother has died my grandiose and power hungry sister has ramped up her narcissistic bid to finish me off. Thanks to this video I have a plan. TY

Knowledge is helpful ~ I was in Love with the Mask. I've forgave myself for not knowing they are predators but I'm not a victim Now. Thank God 🪅

Yes! 1. Knowing the narc is the one who actually needs you, not the other way around. 2. Knowing they will envy anyone or anything that gives you relief or happiness that isn't them. 3. Make yourself happy, raise dopamin leves in the healthiest ways we can.

I have never heard the dopamine connection laid out the way you did, Paula. Thank you so much for this video. This really helps.

I think the mystery of this is beyond comprehension. Reason I say this is because most narcissist are unaware but how in the world do they all have the same play book. Its not like they are sharing strategic plans of how to consume a empathic person. However, we all can tell stories with precise accuracy that is absolutely relatable. Thanks for the video.

A healthy individual does not need validation. 😊

THANKYOU FOR HELPING US ALL ❣️

Good video. When you are eventually devalued and discarded, it enables the Narc to gain more potent supply and your addiction to them increases. This is usually when the victim is becoming harder to control. The Narcissist knows the devastation caused to the victim by this action, allows the Narc to feel grandiose and superior. The Narc expects you to stay on the floor where they left you. As you so rightly say, by raising your own dopamine levels and doing whatever you need to accomplish this, takes away any control or supply to the Narc. Valuable insight thanks Paula. x

Pure gold! I found this more valuable than sitting through weeks of therapy (not to underscore the value of weekly or similar interventions). The info was packed and highly relatable. Thanks

I took up cycling. Long distance. I led a life separate to him with my sons. It gave me confidence, headspace and distance to really see what was going on. I met new people, who told me my ex was controlling, I kept new connections quiet. Despite all this, there are scars from my 15 years with him. But I was able to see he was the problem 5 years before he discarded. Whilst I improve, interactions with him show a decline (paranoia), and his abuse is now very obvious. These people are nasty little monsters. I’m blessed to have healthy, wonderful people in my life now. It’s essential that you start to make you feel good

I was having a particularly rough day at work (I’m a funeral director) and I had been working 14 hrs+. I wanted to go home and be cared for but I decided to make it easier for him. I grabbed take out at my favorite restaurant. I was looking forward to eating because it would have been the only good things I could fully enjoy. The restaurant missed my favorite part of the dish and I just broke down crying because I was so hungry and feeling emotionally beat and overworked. This guy didn’t offer me at comfort. I sat alone in my house sobbing. Later we were at a party gathering and he started to recount this story to his brother and wife, laughing loudly. “Oh! She likes to cry over rice! HAHA.” It was so humiliating and the brother and wife appeared a little awkward so I jumped in to save them the discomfort and started laughing too, attempted to make light of it. “Oh how silly of me to cry over rice!” He never apologized for it

Good video. The dopamine is key. I believe that alcoholics are low in dopamine because of childhood trauma, causing their constant drinking. People with adhd...its childhood trauma causing low dopamine.

This is a stunningly brilliant explanation. And it really ticks all the boxes to explain my covert narc sister's tactics. I'm far enough into my healing journey that I've already done a few healthy things to supply my own dopamine (aka self validation) and this explains why it's working so well. My sis recognizes her usual invalidating and criticizing are less effective, and recently has switched again to flattering and praising me more. But it all has no effect on me, just lands completely flat. Now sis also seems to realize that her usual hoovering is no longer working either. I've been dragging my feet about taking an art class and now I realize why I should move that to the top of the list asap. Thank you sooo much! 🙏🏼🌷💞

Taking you from yourself is the ultimate secret and key to how they manipulate and steal your soul. Paula your quest into the ongoing face of narcissism is so unbelievably helpful to us we cannot thank you enough.❤

To go along with the theme of learning to raise our own dopamine levels (our feel good brain chemicals), I heard a simple understanding of how to get those good feelings met through normal daily activities. The understanding goes as follows; we can gain the "same" good feeling from giving to others, eating good food, and / or making love. This is the way to get the same feel-good chemical reaction, all though the quantities of the dose amount does vary, it is safe to assume. But even the smallest of positve energy created is enough to start us moving in a good self care direction, thus buliding a little savings account of energy for ourselves. However, If we have now, or have had problems with narcissists in our past, we may be programmed at subconcious levels to not be aware that the narcissists can be blocking these 3 basic ways for us to gain our stregnth, emotional sobriety, balance, and good health. Narcissists have always sabatoged our well well being because they can't regulate themselves so they are not available to like us in a steady way, but do believe stealing our thunder is their right (in part because they percieve our joy as weak because openess creates a kind of vulnerableness they may see as shameful, but our loving creator truly desires in his creation.) So instead narcissists get mad in their bitterness and in their barely veiled fury, they misinterpret and squash positive energy flows in any enviroment habitually. In their hubris and bravado, they can easily deny all 3 avenues to the feel good brain chemicals that are our rights as children of God. Regarding food, we can't correctly absorb and digest our food no matter how good it is if we are in an anxious or on guard state. We must be in rest and digest mode physically to recieve nutrients. We need nutrients to make brain chemicals. Others can get us off balance, and too stressed out, due to general chaos. It can take steady work to getourselvess back in healthy balance. Regarding giving as one of our basic ways of living, others can sour even the simplest of giving dynamics. Even if we are giving without any intention of trying to give or please others, as it may just be our style as are good manners. Even if the narcissist is being completely self-defeating, they will pursue denying others basic flexibility of a pleasant daily flow of give and take. It takes gueniune authenticity to make love. Otherwise, it's an action instead of a shared love gift from our creator. God gives wisdom freely without criticism. In earlier years of my recovery I learned to ask the Holy Spirit to help me to discern any situations where I was being manipulated, and how I was being played with. It was really rewarding to learn. It is good and responsible to know the truth, so we can do our part to not let others treat us poorly. We need God's help in this area because the devil remains the greatest of deceiver, and so we need God's help in spirit and in truth.

Great video... and what's more, they actually tell you that nobody else will love you like they do. Under their spell and already feeling so bad in yourself, it's easy to see why they seem to be offering redemption. So cruel, especially when it's a parent, who should be supporting you and helping you with your sense of self confidence and self worth. They are so evil, sick and cruel.

I've been watching videos on narcissism over the last 2 years. These are by far the most insightful and most relatable videos that I have found.

Sunk-Cost Fallacy: Reasoning that further investment (believing in the narcissist, staying in the relationship with them and trying harder) is warranted on the fact that the resources already invested will be lost otherwise, not taking into consideration the overall losses (in this case: your pride, your peace of mind and your individuality) involved in the further investment. It's a well known psychological hook, gambling works in a similar fashion. Thank you for yet another insightful video Paula.

I was put down for working out, going to the spa, no matter what I did - I was criticized for.

My Mother was a Narc. Plus my siblings. I married Narcs. Life has been hell and lonely. My father died When I was 17 from Bleeding peptic Ulcer from Narc Abuse. Narc never Ask you what they can do to make you happy. It’s all about their needs. Plus they are very arrogant and it’s all About their needs. They will take Everything from you. Money, self esteem, energy. They are highly sexual.

This Narc would punish me emotionally for getting a pedicure. This so resonates.

Yes, it's manipulation of your emotions - they feed off the energy of your emotions.. REFLECTIONS OF THE CURSE - journey of a woman's heart.. And yes, they put you down, even negate things you do for self, for creativity or that you enjoy and are proud of.

Yes! Walking, stretching, het a really good sweaty feeling! It truly is healing 💖 💓 💕

Thank you so much for the good work and videos that you are making. You are going so deep into the world of the Narc and you explain everything so accurate and in depth that are mind boggling to us who were the victims but also the survivers of Narc abuse. I could not wrap my head around on to their minds work and that they never loved us as we did. And that they can be so cruel and hurtful. But now I understand that they are desperate in need of fuel and power and supply and that their actions are so vicious because they need to survive and they need us who are caring and empathetic. Well done on helping a lot of unsuspecting people. 🙏

Today I learned something new. At the end I told him that I had went antique shopping, and found some great deals. I told him that I had a wonderful day. I had not ask permission to enjoy a day looking for antiques. In the discard, I now remember him walking around my living room saying everything was just bobbles. I did not understand on that day. Thank you Paula. I just figured out another piece of the puzzle. I went out and had fun with out him, and all those nasty things that was said about me, my house and antiques was just punishment for a happy day. Lordy Lordy. So very sad.

Yep. Everything you said. Too bad I'm more dead now than alive to find all of this out. Not so sure about the dopamine addiction to him at all. But, even taking a walk, if anything didn't directly serve him it would be punished. Overtly, and covertly. Including sabotaging my future in seemingly minute ways.

Thank you for this validation. It is absolutely true my Narc of 27 years shared his addiction with me. He said it was an addiction because it was just pot but it was always wrong. I desperately wanted to quit all the time and shame for doing that with him. If I did not, there was no other communion together. He made sure that I was provided for in that way every single day. It was double duty. None of my friends or family did that so I had for my children and everyone around me once I broke free. It was exactly what I expected. There was nothing to this relationship. The dopamine was simply the only thing that kept me in, the habit the ritual now that I am free I have no need for that and feel so much better! I realized it’s not. My addiction is his and now I can go on to be better. Praise the Lord. I’m finally free.

This video couldn’t come at a better time. I broke up with my fiancé in February. I moved into my own apartment. He moved to another state. He contacted me through email about two months ago. Against my better judgement, I started talking with him. We have been conversing daily for about a week. I recently started a job that I really like. The job is really easy and the work environment is very relaxed. When I tell him how much I enjoy my job, he acts like he is happy for me, but I don’t think it’s genuine. He will quickly start talking about us getting back together and me moving to where he is and how I can work from home like he does (he works from home). He’s starting his own business and he said that I could work for him and he would pay me. I noticed every time we talk, all he talks about is how I can help him with this and how I can help him with that. All I can think about is “What will I be doing for myself?!” If I get back together with him, and god forbid move out of state to be with him, I will be isolated from my family (they live close by) and I will be isolated from the world because I will be stuck at home working with him everyday. Not to mention, possibly being financially abused because I would be dependent on him for a paycheck. I would definitely lose my self identity!!! I would merely be an extension of him!!!

This is some of the best insight you've ever had. Thanks so much. 🥰🥰🥰

I so got what you just said!!!! I spent 22 years of my life with a man who never once said he was sorry to me. He was never wrong. If I ever brought something to his attention that he did to me, he would have 10 things that I did to him that explained his bad behavior. I have been out of this relationship for 10 months now, and I am struggling almost took him back once, but I simply do not have the strength to deal with him anymore. I also have just begun to understand the trauma bond that I have with him, and I thank God for your videos. I have learned so much.

I received the opposite manipulation tactic from my wife, when I came to alcohol. I told her that planned on quitting drinking due to the fact that it does not help my feelings depression. She went out and bought a case of beer, she never buys beer. As you can guess, quitting fell through. Now I’m successfully sober, which is much easier because I didn’t share my plan with her this time.

My addiction from getting away from my 1st narc was keeping myself fit and playing football,my addiction from getting away from my 2nd narc was taking the dogs out for hours and having me time with the dogs, that's even though I didn't no what narcissism was until the disgard, their was something Inside me telling me that's what I had to do and keep myself fit, now that I look back I can see how stupid I was at the lovebomb stage the things Marie was doing on the 1st night was let's put it this way where like something out of a porn film,we live and learn great video Paula 🌹❤️

Once again Paula has given you a great gift, in sharing her wisdom with you ❤️ Bless you always Paula 🙏 ❤️

There is a voice in my head that still trys to convince me to feel sorry for my abuser. I have learned to silence that voice now. Its as simple as that,it took some practice but you will get there. Believe in yourself and believe in love and light.

Thank you so much from Greece. You are so clear and helpful. Besides, you seem a so good and wise person. God bless you!

18 minute mark! It’s the ultimate concept and reality for the narc empath war

Raising dopamine levels is a great idea. I never thought about it from this perspective before but it makes sense. Thanks for the video!

17:45 This part made me lol, because a while ago I figured out this is exactly what happened to me. And it was a great shock when the spell was finally broken. But it's still very healing having it spelled out so clearly... Narc: "Hey, you give me all of you, ...[(you give me the ability to live (aka narc supply))]. And I will then take away all of your identity, personality, self-agency, and in return I will con you into thinking that I'm the source of all that, and give it back to you. But I'll dole it out, so that in giving it back to you I can also control you." Paula: And they con you into thinking that they're doing YOU a favor by loving YOU, having taken YOU away from yourself. ... Paula: The beautiful things you felt the narcissist provided for you, was just the narcissist giving you yourself back. That's the con. And in my own further confusion the narc sister had fully convinced me that I was the source of all of HER pain. I began confessing aloud to everyone, even strangers in the grocery store, that the narc was the innocent victim, and that I was the horrible abusive sister. Yes, by then I was quite a mess, lost to myself. Very glad to be finally getting back to reality, the truth. 🙏🏼💞

I was with a pure evil malignant narcissist. Who was planing against me, abuse me for 2 years like never before, until he was ready to discard me and the kids. Now he can’t stay with out kids for half day but I know it’s just to isolate me from them !!! 18 years of loneliness, fighting even for the garbage. Now I will fight for my little one with everything I got .

As a innatentive ADHD woman , low dopamine is a huge problem already , so this makes so much sense. Thanks from NEW ZEALAND

All what you are saying is so helpful Paula. I am 58 and lived in this cicle since childhood. (Mother and husband)The discard is 8 years ago but the divorce still not completely done and I am still sick and in lack of energy even when I am better .Working everyday on it. I understand this and it is true but there are also selfsabotaging subconscious beliefs because every time I did what you said or when I was happy, they punished me. This is so deeply in my psyche. Hope I can get out of it. Sending much love for you and your loyal friend ❤❤. I have some of these beautiful beings. They saved me.

Ive worked in drug rehabs and narc withdrawal is exactly the same. A freat natural supplement is Dopa Mucuna a herb that is a precursor for helping make dopamine...

My freedom is coaching is going to happen !! Thank you Paula !!!!

Paula, in my view you have untwisted the entire twisted spiritual dynamic of the horrific power that this personality cooperates with and operates from. In my experience, the person in my life for 36 years, had the very uncanny and disturbing ability to know exactly what gave me joy and took these joy giving life experiences from me, even though I learned to hide it from him. So, I had lived my life for the most part, separate from him, but under the same roof, out of necessity until the last 8 eight years, at which time circumstances allowed me to 'escape' And it had been a good life, BC he had no power to stop me from living my away from his control to a certain extent. Now that I am away from him, I have continued to build and rebuild my life again exactly around all these things that give me joy, just by instinct! ON PURPOSE-!! ☺️ And knowing that by e v e r y s I n g l e personal choice, I have been distancing myself from him more and more, at every level. But it has been hard to accept that anyone could/would do these mean to the core things on purpose! 😣 And now, I fully understand their motivation, conscious or unconscious...the damage done is real.. After this video...no more uncertainty...at all... So, I will continue to take back what has been stolen, by exerting my own personal power. Discarding the effects of those actions, by every intentional move on my part. From eating oysters which he scoffed at, to having a picture on my fridge of hollyhocks that he intentionally dug up, saying that 'they were too high around the front of the house' and the list goes on...and on...and on.. Regaining Personal Freedom!! Regaining me.. Regaining my life. Thanks Paula Keep up the good work. You are an asset to this world!! ❤️

I've just listened to this and it's so true, l can't believe l didn't realise what was happening at the time. My ex narc couldn't bare to see me enjoying anything that didn't involve him and yes he isolated me in so many ways. I'm so happy l got my life back, he was stealing it from me, totally! Thank you Paula again for your insight and clarity at explaining the narcissists behaviour.

Wow. So many things make sense now.

Wow. This hit home. Watched 200 videos or so and this hit home hard

Just ordered some tyrosine.. Dopamine levels are stupid low..go figure.. This makes perfect sense Paula.. Meditation, exercise, energetic places, healthy things you can do that you enjoy 🤦 how quickly we forget...thanks

Omg. I just escaped such a dark circle of ick with a covert and unconscious. These videos help so much.

This is dead center ... absolutely on target! 👍👌

The toxicity of the narc is likely to escalate to violence, illegal behaviors, script-flipping and flying monkeys, huge hits to your ability to support yourself... All because they figured out that you don't need them anymore. There's a way of slowly increasing your distance from them, over time convincing them they're just not that into you, and eventually, breaking free from them without the strong, nutty reactions they normally give when someone goes cold turkey. Use their weaknesses mentioned in this video to your advantage, and absolutely get a good paying job that takes you around the world, or at least to the other side of the country, and moves you around often. Don't threaten to leave, don't tell them nor the flying monkeys your plans, just go behind their back, create your chance to leave when you know it's the right time to do so, and then finally get out. You don't need what they've been doing to you, nor do you need excuses for it, nor all the victim-blaming and other abuses they've done to you. You need your own life, created by you, for you, and of you. They need to go get help, but they likely never will, and that's not yours to worry about. Also, don't concern yourself with it if they commit suicide, but further, that's actually not very likely. This person, if they're a seasoned adult at least, has not only fallen for their own lies about themselves (that mask is permanently sewn to their face, so to speak), but they're likely from a generation where everything they're experiencing was normalized across the board, and so to them, it doesn't feel "wrong" or "abnormal" or "Gee, I'm so horrible, I should die." No. They just... They can't figure out why the world doesn't work the way they think it should, and they're far more likely to waste all their time and attention trying to make everyone be the way they want them to be. When they can't do it to you, they'll go online, onto social media or message boards, and try to do it there. They're stuck in their own rut, and will probably spend their last day, when they're old and grey, banging on a keyboard or yelling at some stranger over the phone about what God allows that stranger to wear (or some other petty thing). You know what? Let it go. Not your problem.

Paula... Thank you! You lived through this so that you can help others. Thank you. Not one thing you say is NOT true.. it is PURE truth!

Brilliant and brilliant Pola. Thank you for this ingenious analysis! We need to re-own ourselves and raise our dopamine levels on our own and this is exactly the key to our freedom from the narcisists. It Absolutely works!

Thank you! You are so right! After aktiv work 30 year to handel my narcessistic mother, I realise that it is ok to go no contact. I se the open door and are ready to leave. There are nothing more to say. Feel deep reelife ❤

Thank you. I am so pleased to have found your Chanel. It is unbelievable how accurate you describe what my life was like for my 38 year marriage. Having met my ex husband at the age of 15 and marrying him at 21, I’ve found it so hard to truly let him go. I didn’t know why. But you are educating me about that connection and damage I have endured. I feel responsible in lots of ways too and how I have exposed our three daughters to the narcissist behaviour. I’m praying they can heal and make Bette r decisions than I did. Please keep educating us. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. ❤

All of this spiritual. The gates of hell analogy in the video you made is spot on.

This explains a lot. I struggle with trying to get away from my husband and now I realize there is really no relationship there. It has made all other relationships difficult. Especially with my son. Who it feels like he doesn’t like me having a relationship with at all. All other relationships I try to have feel strained. But it all comes from his behavior. And just recently I felt there has been jealousy there and you mentioned this in your other video. And it’s true. Hard for me to admit this but I see it as true now. He is extremely hard to live with. There are very few people he is ok with me being around, one actually the others he is critical of. The more healing I get the more I want to get away from him to regain a feeling of being ok again.

It's been a couple of days that he's not been in my head all the time, or at least NOT in the way he was before. I think it's all got a lot better since I DON'T want him back!!

💜Her screen name was Paula. The movie"Gaslight". A per chance viewing in 1970's explained IT. Fastforward to 2017 when i finally began my defining journey. In honor of a dozen most valuable, YT channels on NA, i must agree Spiritual harvesting does exist. Your ability to reveal these possibilities completes my understanding...and YOUR name IS PAULA!!! THANK YOU!!!

It doesn’t take long fir the narc to do her work on me. And my spirit chased her out as soon as I was conscious of the manipulation. She was very skilled in her tactics and strategy. And yet, I left and surviving /thriving to this day. Its bc of implementing exactly what’s said here. I hope you can feel the love im giving you now! Thank you Paula!!❤

Again Paula, you are right on! Thank you for sharing the keys to healing, you are a generous soul! Big hug to you and Remy!

Uh i'ts so sickening. Thankyou for the information it makes so much more sense now.

Your content is amazing. Very valuable insights. Thank you!!!!!! 😱

You are so smart/thank God your here teaching us very clearly 🌿💚🐾🐾

15:19 Art definitely is therapy!!!

My last narc relationship was years ago. I told him that he couldn't lie to me anymore and that I was onto him. He promptly packed a suitcase and left. Little did I know his new supply was already groomed and ready. Having no idea what I was really dealing with at the time, I did pretty well at moving on, but it was traumatic for awhile. I really thought I loved him, but in hind sight I didn't, it was more of an addiction. He died a few years later and though photos in his obit. it appeared he played an exact repeat with the new supply.

I was chilled by this. I wondered if I'm a narcissist, because I've been trying to explain my relationship, or lack of relationship to relatives. I know don't do that. I have no pity for her anymore, so I realize she is smearing me by saying I've cut her off and won't answer her phone messages, etc. Oh well, I feel so much joy being free of the poison. I feel the joy interacting with friends and will continuing to expand my circle.

This is excellent. Thank you. I get this now. They’ve been controlling my dopamine. I need to get out and about and start finding other sources of getting my own dopamine 🙏 ✝️

Hi, thank you for seeing it the way I see it. You're the first one I'VE HEARD talks about the DEMONIC INSIDE OF THEM. They should be charged for attempted murder cause not everyone is strong enough to confront the. Especially now that we know more about it. BLESS THEM AND THE DEMONIC, YES YOU LOTS & LOTS OF BLESSINGS UNTIL IT HURTS ❤ LEAVE US ALONE PLEAS 🙏

Thank you Paula. You defined so clearly what I had somehow realized. At one point I was so dependent on communication from the narc that I lost any sense of self and felt as though I was going crazy. Then, I got a job teaching art again. (I had been caring for my mother full time. She was bedbound with cancer and dementia. I met the narc online a few months before she sadly passed away). Connection with other people, and the joy I felt in their progress, literally saved me. It was, as you said, finding other sources of dopamine again after the narc has persuaded you that they are the only viable source. I am now, after months of building up other sources of pleasure and rebuilding my sense of self, preparing to leave the mostly-online relationship with the narc. For me, the lessons on leaving have been, education, understanding what I have learned and patience. Patience - because I know if I had left earlier, it would have caused more damage to myself. ❤ love, strength and patience to all those still caught in the web.

Wow! This brought me to a new level of understanding. Thank you ❤

This is the most accurate description of what happens. Ao many people put our videos but this resonates with me. Especially the one you made about demons..

I feel a lot better and have got my happiness back. I never want to feel like that again

I am so very greatful to have come across your channel. I have been suffering for the last 15 months since I was discarded in a horribly cruel way which traumatized me so badly. I was utterly destroyed

Remy is a beautiful name for a dog. I just love it. Snores are like my cat purrs I think the hertz make us calm. Pet owners live longer after all.

Buddy request here! Suffering through no contact and taking the courageous step of leaving my narcissist ex. I'm on the east coast USA. Thanks Paula and thank you all! Jeff

This lady is so excellent!

I feel the experiences of the other being very intent to break you down is resultung from covert/overt misogyny that narc pathologies tend to have from unresolved mother enmeshment and hating their mother (entitlement of unconditional love = mother being sumbolic of that unconditional love)

Lol , I'm 45 male Italian Australian born ,, I love you so much if U come to Sydney I want to hug and kiss you , you have explained everything perfectly that I have been going through for 6 years according to your other videos and this❤❤❤

How sad is it for children of the narcissist? They steal your life away.

Jesus - I wish I'd found you channel 5 yrs ago. Thankyou so much for the explanations you give in your vids.I'm a 66yr old bloke and this may just have saved my life.. thankyou x

Bang on Paula! I started to learn how to ride a motorbike and passed my test, giving me a dopamine rush and independence. Looking back I believe this was the possible catalyst for the discard. I had no intention of leaving her, I was fast asleep at the time, but I believe she saw this as the beginning of my self agency. Or should I say the regaining of my self agency! 😊❤

God bless you for your kindness in sharing your knowledge. My eyes have been wide opened thanks to this amazing information. It’s very painful however your videos are making sense of it all for me and the accuracy of what you say is 100% what happened in my 1.5 yr marriage. One argument where I said “No More” and all that you described came tumbling down right down to the character assassination and discard. This has been a painful journey but thanks to these videos I have so many answers and I feel the healing starting.

Thanks Paula ...you are God sent , thanks once again.