my favourite nepotism babies. WHERE TO FIND ME Substack: finalgirlstudios.substack.com/ Letterboxd: boxd.it/49rL9 Business Inquiries: TheFinalGirlStudios@gmail.com
I need y’all to know that this comment section is my favourite of all my videos. Y’all are so wholesome, thank you for sharing your stories about this film, pls keep them coming I love bonding over this precious film. 🥰💖
I had this on VHS and watched it once every couple weeks with my mom, it's one of our favorites to this day. This film is soooo underrated and even watching it as many times as I have, I still catch new things. Like in the dance Ray does at the end, she's copying Molly's moves from earlier in the film when they were in her room.
Chick-flicks have always appealed to me even when mainstream ideas of femininity didn't, because about ever third was earnestly reaching out to some messy human being that needs to feel seen! Have you seen Phantom Thread? There's lots of juicey subtext and a couple of wonderfully strong women! Alrighty I'm off to check out the rest of you stuff
This was a movie I absolutely loved as a teen. I was born in 88 so I definitely remember first experiencing this move by digging it out of the bargain bin at Blockbuster, but every time I caught it on TV or on a streaming service throughout the years I watched it all the way through. I was intrigued by the film growing up because despite being full of laughs there were moments that would have me sitting back and quietly crying to myself. Molly and Ray were lovely characters that helped me understand that growing up and being an adult would be scary but it was also a blessing that not everyone got. I was a fairly reserved kid, much like Ray, and I was always concerned with mortality and the passage of time because my mom had me later in life and I knew that she’d be gone long before I was fully ready for her to be. So I’d over compensate and act more adult and skip out on a lot my childhood to do things with her that normal kids wouldn’t necessarily think to do because I wanted us to have all the time together that I could get. We had a beautiful relationship and I will never regret the time I skipped out on kids birthdays or school dances or retreats to be with my mom, but I do sometimes regret not giving that little girl inside me a bit more grace to be a kid and to experience life the way a normal kid my age would have. This movie is still one of my top ten favorite movies because it was one of the first movies I remember watching where the love interest was not the point of the story.
Movie really demonstrates how toxic it is for a kid to be "mature for their age" or "well-adjusted". And how important it is for parents to be there for their kids emotions. Cause they are too little to process them alone.
Children being “adult “ is way too over praised. It should be a warning sign. There’s a reason the kid is acting like an adult. It’s because they have to take care of themselves.
My aunt was very sick I had to grow up fast as a kid and then when she passed I lost it and regressed. It’s very difficult as a child to go through that type of loss🥺😭
When I was 12 I very vividly remember that a man checked me out of school. Worried me, naturally, since I was taught not to go with a stranger, but something told me to go. He bought a snack for me, put me in his car with my two sisters, and took us to a building. Turns out he was sent to come pick us up and take us there because we were being taken out of my mother's care and put into foster care. I shed exactly one tear when I was informed. Then when we were picked up again and I was informed my sisters and I would be separated, I didn't cry at all when I watched my youngest sister at five exit the car and go into a stranger's house where I could no longer watch over her. I was told that I took the incident very well compared to most other kids. It didn't sit well with me and it still doesn't that I didn't remotely know how to process what was happening because my brain was actively trying to protect me from the impact, and it messed me up for years that I couldn't cry about it.
I remember watching and enjoying this movie as a child and rewatching it now as an adult, the messaging is so deep. I'd argue that another reason why Molly likes Neil is because he reminds her of her dad and when he told her that he has to go home, she immediately didn't want him to leave
@@breewashere our parents are literally where we learn our courtship models and relationship styles from, so it's actually perfectly expected in anybody to have some link there.
I HATE the idea of "this character has flaws, so it's a bad character" thinking from so many critics. EVERYONE has flaws- and the only BAD characters are those so unrelatable due to perfection and excelling in EVERYTHING for no reason on than to just living... Flawed characters feel more human and real, more relatable - even if their circumstances are ENTIRELY different and unrelatable (like a massive rich girl life).
there’s so many well written articles echoing this sentiment!! flawed characters are real! humans are flawed and showing this is so important! especially protesting female characters. it’s important to show how multifaceted we are as people!!
It's especially levied against protagonists who are young women/girls, and especially especially in television (which is less known for complexity and depth). Most recently, I've seen this in Shameless and Gilmore Girls.
@@remytherat2929 I know right! Apparently Frank can go around doing drugs and committing crimes, being a completely absent father, and Lip can become an alcoholic and drop out of college, but Fiona goes through a rough period FOR ONCE IN HER LIFE, and she's the villain. Also, everyone acting like what happened to Liam was her fault. There were other adults in the room - nobody else intervened either.
@@sparksfly6149 then they want to act like lip was always such an amazing 2nd dad to the kids without giving Fiona ANY credit for raising them all (including lip) from at least SIX YEARS OLD, literally dropping out of school and not taking jobs that would be good for her own life because of the siblings she had to raise. And when she finally tries to advance herself in life she’s“selfish” and “a bitch”. Like omg do these people not hear themselves?? Sorry but I have a lot of feelings about shameless and Fiona lol.
@@tvfan591 obviously the comment is saying “men” and referring to men who uphold the patriarchy, which gay men can also do. I would know i am gay and have seen it myself, get off your high horse. We do care what women think when it comes to media, your comment on the other hand has barely any thing critical of use
You heard the word male and went full brain dead, yeah many male critics didn't like it a lot of men did and still do, me included. Stop being bigoted.
I loved this movie when I was young and I am shocked that the “adult” character was supposed to be only 22. I would’ve guessed 28. 22 is still so young, she was fine 😭
I watched this movie recently and I was shocked that she is supposed to be barely out of college age. Were people just more mature 20 years ago? 23 year olds are babies to me.
I don’t want to generalize male viewers. But I’ve noticed that often, when it comes to analyzing female characters, a lot of men view women in relation to themselves instead of as themselves. What I mean is, when deciding if they like a female character, they try to decide if they would want to date her. Or (because it is possible for them to view women in non sexual ways) be friends with her. Work with her (if it’s a workplace drama). But they imagine a relationship with her outside of themselves. They don’t try to relate TO her. They don’t try to imagine what it would be like to BE her. They are not on this journey WITH her. They do not see themselves inside the character because she is a woman. I get this impression by the way they describe a character. Like how the character is annoying to be around (like they are in a room with her) etc And yes, if it’s a romantic comedy and the viewer is a straight women, she is instructed to see herself in the woman and see the male as a potential love interest. And for too long the majority of the films starring women were heterosexual romances. But most women I know who watch die hard aren’t wondering if they would like to date the protagonist. They’re wondering what they would do if they were him to survive and save the day. It just makes me think of the long history normalizing women wearing pants, what it took to get here. How they fought for it. And how men are treated if they wear a skirt. How they avoid it like the plague. I feel like that symbolizes a lot 😂 And it makes a difference
Late to the party, but I really like your comment. This is also why media about men are considered "for everyone", but media about women are supposed to be "for women". Women are encouraged to empathise with everyone, men are not, especially not with women. (Saw a clip with Meryl Streep where she put it as women being brought up and used to speak "male", to understand and speak the language of ambition, emotion, world-view etc. that is typical for the male world-view. While men are not encouraged to learn to speak "female". So how can women even explain to them what it feels like to be a woman?).
@@shirley444Six years pass by incredibly quickly. While I'm sure Dakota Fanning would've changed a lot in the intervening period, I'm also sure she would've remembered Brittany Murphy very fondly and been devastated at her sudden death all the same.
@@shirley444 So, because Dakota was young she wouldn’t remember Brittany? I remember losing people when I was a little child. It STILL hurts in 2023 at the age of 27.
One of the greatest things about this film is the intentional costuming. "Molly" never wears a pant, and her dresses, cardigans, robes and skirts in loose a-line silhouettes, with that softly waved mid-length hair (no bangs), make her timeless. Molly's clothing is also almost exclusively evening wear, which we know doesn't change at the pace daytime looks do. "Ray's" style is the embodiment of the (ironically) well-cared-for child: small ditzy florals, crisp whites, school uniforms with starched collars, the soft chin-length hair that we've seen in children in the US since forever. I loved this detail because it puts the story in my present rather than my past every time I watch it I want something Molly has on.
I just started watching the video and my first thought was how great Molly's dresses and styling are, I would absolutely wear them today, they're so timelessly feminine.
Im really glad they depicted huey as a man who was really molly’s friend and now trying to date her or have a one night stand. It was really nice to see a man being a friend in film not a love interest :)
another thing to point out - we can infer molly’s parents provided that safe vulnerable space for her, and in turn even in their absence she’s able to grow up embracing her emotions. whereas rey’s absent parents - though still alive - have not provided that safe space for her.
Which is why Molly wanted to stay a child and Rey wanted to become an adult. Molly had a safe childhood, Rey didn't. It's different ways of attempting to skip over trauma. Very clever movie.
This made me bawl because I'm literally both of these characters in one. The infantile adult who can't grow up, as well as the hyper controlling child with hypochondria.... It's a living hell and this movie is somehow pointing out to me, my horrific childhood is what did this to me
Same. My dad passed when I was 12 but had a long life of illness before then, so I grew up OCD and a hypochondriac. At the same time, I hate being an adult and struggle with the idea of growing up even though I'm in my 30's.
Awww “grown ups never stay friends with kids” that’s probably why she behaved “grown up like” in an effort to relate to grown ups and keep them around.
This movie is EVERYTHING! I used to relate to Rey a lot, there's a sense of pride and praise in being an adult child, but a lot of overlaying pain. And now I feel like Molly struggling to be a real adult.
you may have noticed this, but if not this is gonna make you cry harder -- the dance moves ray does at the end are the moves molly dances in ray's bed room earlier in the movie. shows you how much ray absorbs the adults behaviors around her !! great touch on the choreographers!
RIP to Brittany Murphy, I hate that we lost her so young. I feel like she was still being kind of type cast as 'the pretty dumb girl' in a lot of her movies but she was a really talented actress and I'm sure would have gone on to do some amazing roles. This movie is one I actually really love now but didn't when I was younger
The teacup scenes made me cry so much. So did Ray punching Molly, when she let everything out... I have an insecure attachment style and had a very traumatic childhood, so I really see myself in both of these characters. In Molly's fantasy world, in Molly's turbulent relationships with Neal and others...In Ray's anger, her desire to stay closed off so she can't be hurt by loss and abandonment... Thanks so much for making this video!
I love Uptown Girls. Even though im not a girl, this film resonates with me bc being cut off at 19 by my parents financially,I immediately moved from LA to NYC to make it on my own. I did child care gigs, retail stops as well as walk dogs for the uber wealthy. I was 27 when i learned how to really start taking care of my self. Even desperately figure out life during the pandemic. I would watch this film when i felt sad and remind myself i could make it on my own. Meeting my fashion designer bf was the best thing that ever happened to me. Bc now i dont have to do much anymore but when i watch this movie it takes me back to that growing period in my life i cherish.
I feel the same. I'm now in my late 20s, this pandemic started when I was 25 and I had just moved back home with my parents because I was running out of money on my own. So now I'm in the place where I'm finally getting back out there after 3+ years being home and working part time jobs from home or doing gig work. I'm off to NYC in a couple of months and it's been a ride... Most of my friends are married, with kids, have higher degrees, or they have their own businesses and homes.
Not an American so it really bamboozles me that it’s the norm for some families to cut off their kid at 18 and up. Especially with the unstable economy it’s harder than ever for kids to make it on their own. The bootstraps mentality is so weird to me, I hear kids straight up go homeless with barely any help.
I totally agree with your sentiment. (Btw I hope it’s helpful but “bamboozels” is the wrong word here.) that means to “trick” someone- you may mean “astonishes” or “flabbergasts”. Best wishes!
@@Sofiaode18 When i went to university at 18, it seemed like it was only the rich kids who were financially supported by parents. Most people found a job or took a student loan (which was to play for living expenses since there was no tuition, this was Europe). So i don't think it's all that rare to be on your own when you move out, parents just can't afford to pay rent for two apartments.
It's a pity that a great movie won't be recognized because the leading people in the industry can't personally relate to it. A way to ensure that nothing ever changes and the industry will always cater to men first.
I didn’t expect to start sobbing while watching this breakdown of Uptown Girls posted 5 months ago. But here I am. I don’t think I could watch this movie again in full because of how deep it goes
I saw this movie in theaters and it always speaks to me. Women have very special internal lives which define our character. We handle emotions very differently from men. This movie is great. Brittany Murphy and Dakota Fanning have such amazing chemistry in this. It's a sisterly bond which women create amongst each other that is unique to us.
I relate so much to rays character. An adult that never really had the chance to experience their childhood as a child because they had to or felt the need to grow up in order to protect their own emotions.
When the little girls came out holding the guitars it was the most beautiful scene ever and so symbolic. The soft music combined with the dance was so beautiful, it made me cry. Not ugly cry, but that kind of repressed cry where you try to keep a straight face, but somehow the tears still manage to overflow.
As a New Yorker, "Uptown Girls" remains one of my favorite movies of my city. It captures the fairy tale aesthetics of a NY that never really existed and is a fabulous representation of what made Brittany Murphy such a cinematic treasure. The only negative remark I have towards it (aside from a few jokes not landing as years have passed) is how Molly is treated as someone in her 30s/40s rather than someone in her 20s. I get that early 2000s Hollywood was even worse with ageism than it is now, but even with that in mind, its horrifying to see a 22-year-old being suggested botox and other things (especially when this is Murphy they're talking to, who is stunning.) Plus, while I adore Molly, I think even she would know not to walk out BAREFOOT in the middle of Manhattan (the broken glass alone makes that a huge no-no.) But nitpicks aside, I love this movie, and your review is great!
I think that tracks for her peers, though. I was a good 7 years older than Molly at the time, and the wealthy people at my undergrad talked about peers getting plastic surgery in highschool. I was never wealthy or pretty enough to have such rules apply, but I definitely heard and saw women in their 20s worrying about visibly aging and talking about procedures to prevent it. At just 18, everyone acted as if we were all independent adults who should never need anyone else. 22 was when many of my classmates moved to NYC and got jobs. I found the depiction pretty realistic for the Uber wealthy party set I'd been around.
If you had lived during the 90s you would have understood that about 20s you were either getting married and having kids or chasing a carrier while paying out your loans, or both while scouting for a family appartement. Having your life "figured out" to the T while in reality most didn't even know who they were was a thing. This is why divorces in 30s something were so common afterwards. How could you spend a life together with somebody when you didn't even know yourself or shelfworth. There were women indoctrinated by their families to play happy housewives even though a brilliant carrier was waiting for them just because their mother did, even though she was extremely unhappy by it. Plus, even though tough, 90s still had that naive vibe that everything and anything could happen, while sexism was at its pick. Grown up men were discussing about actresses coming of age, so they were "eligible pray, guys" and girls' virginity status. I remember celebrities as old as 30 having plastic surgeries to their foreheads and us 20s girls' talked about how a woman should look beautiful 24/7 if she wants to remain relevant by her husband. 90s naiveté had some major sexism and core traumas embedded in us by TV and Hollywood.
Brittany Murphy was a wonderful actress! She played every role so well! Man, do I hate Hollywood for destroying another beautiful soul! I loved this movie as well! Thank you for sharing this video essay ❤
@@dirtyprancing5930 She had a flu or some sort of minor virus which developed into penumonia and finally, sepsis. She was a sunshine gone way too soon.
I think this movie didn't do well because the trailer made it seem like it was a comedy but the movie was very serious. I remember watching it in theaters expecting it to be a really funny but I ended up crying. I still loved it though but it wasn't what I expected.
I agree. The absolute wrong people saw this movie, because it wasn't advertised as a family drama with some comedy, it was advertised as a funny movie. I think misleading trailers kill a lot of movies, honestly. It's a shame. The wrong audience sees it and it flops. Or at least, this was an issue; social media might mean there's a little more transparency, since people who see previews talk. But I'm not really sure. In any case, I remember being similarly confused.
I also think that this movie felt flawed in a way. Molly (Brittany) and Ray (Dakota) had the best scenes together in my opinion, from the teacup spinning scene to their friendship growing to a tolerable one. However, some of the adult scenes were a turn-off for the people watching this movie along with me. Let me explain... It was fun to have those scenes between Molly and Ray, but it wasn't half as good when comparing it to the clunky, awkward scenes among the adults. The somewhat explicit scenes were just a hassle to skip through, because we were trying to watch the movie about the nanny and the kid (plus the broke nanny navigating life as a normal person) NOT adults doing, erm, stuff together...
Fr same I never met someone who was as obsessed with this movie as I was. I’m glad we’ve found our people in the comment section haha, it’s so lovely hearing how this movie is so adored by so many
I’ve been crying over this movie for 20 years. Watched it when it was released and my sensitive soul couldn’t handle it. Still can’t! Such a beautiful story of finding your worth, letting go, and the healing power of friendship. An all time fav.
Did I sign up on rotten tomatos just to write a review for this film after I watched it due to watching your video essay on it? And did I call the people who found it stupid - either bind or fools? Yes, yes I did - thank you for this video, if not for you I wouldn't have come across this gem of a cinema, I loved this video and loved the film and I agree with every point you've made.
I Just watched this movie for the first time today and... I fell in love with it. I turned 22 this year and, as you, i feel related to both characters. While a lot of my Friends are getting married and working, i'm still struggiling finishing college and i could'nt find a job yet. This movie really hit me; i'm still naive, childish and obstinated but i'm also hardworking and perseverant, i feel useless but worthed at the same time, this movie made me realize that. I loved the vídeo by the way, your channel is really good!! And sorry for my Bad English 😅. Greetings from Mexico!!
Thank you for this beautiful comment! I relate to you a lot. And your English is great no need to apologize. Thank you for taking the time to watch and comment sending love 💖
I started crying at the dissection of this movie. I was letting the tears flow and then I remembered that I just got my lashes done and I had to quickly dry them 😂 This was beautifully done. I’ll watch the movie again tonight!
I just wanted to wholeheartedly thank you for this video. In the 6th grade, I personally experienced a disturbing & traumatizing 3-person loss/tragedy that happened in my family & I have never functioned the same afterwards. I struggle immensely with vulnerability, trust, & had/have issues with anxiety & depression but I could never pin point exactly why I couldn’t move on or at least somewhat heal from that situation & this video perfectly sums up why I always felt… stuck. As a 20-something year old, I feel like my teen years were filled with spiritual warfare, grief & darkness while my 20s are a time of healing & is forcing me to l confront why I am the way I am. I look forward to my journey on healing my inner child & thank you for releasing this video which gave me my epiphany ♥️
This comment made me cry 😭💖 I am so glad that you had that epiphany!! I am sending you so much love on your healing journey. Thank you for taking the time to share this with me, I appreciate you greatly💖
The moment when Molly falls into Ray’s lap absolutely broke me… it left me a blubbering mess. In it I see my therapized, older self reflecting on my parentified child self. Someone who is now in-touch and unashamed of my emotions, who has slowly allowed myself the space and acceptance to be vulnerable and not take life so seriously. Never thought I’d feel so seen from two nepo babies interacting lol.
It’s wild that anyone expects someone in their early 20s to have things figured out when that usually starts to happen in the late 20s and early 30s. Sure you might live on your own and pay bills but you still don’t know who you are and what you really want out of life until you’ve lived through the 20s
17:15 also, when a little kid talks to you like that the instant reaction for most might be like "lol stfu you little shit" but Molly responds to her in a serious manner, the same way one would when talking to a respected coworker. Molly is never condescending towards Ray, and always treats her like an equal, even when she's being a snotty kid. People are always giving Molly shit because they say she's so immature, but she is so much more emotionally mature than the rest of them, and you can see that when Ray's mother is unconcerned by Ray's reaction to her father's death, and Molly is the only one that sees what's going on, and doesn't take offence at Ray firing her because she knows she's going out of her mind with grief. Also, when she stands up to Ingrid and Neal. What a great movie.
@@FinalGirlStudios like she probably was the mature 9 year old herself having then, and you can see her wisdom and maturity shine through in moments when she's concerned about ray
I stumbled across this film as a little kid on tv. It was at the midpoint so I didn't catch its title. I really enjoyed it and just accepted that I'd never see it again. So, I'm so excited to rewatch it now in adulthood. I can't forget how it made me feel.
I 100% agree that this movie was a masterpiece. I watched this recently as an adult after only watching it as a teenage girl. I never really understood it fully until I had gone through some more life experience. I cried when I realized how much both Molly and Ray taught each other, how they changed each other perspectives in the most beautiful ways. This movie really means so much to me and always will. Also I thought Molly would be older, based on women talking to her about face wrinkles. 😢
This movie would come on tv a lot as a kid and I would usually choose to watch it, so I have a lot of nostalgia for this movie. But as I grew up I started to realize the deeper messaging and also recognize the standout performances from Dakota and Brittany and now I don’t understand how this movie isn’t more popular
I'm in my late 20s and I sitll don't really know how to take care of myself. This pandemic also prolonged a lot of stuff for me. It happened when I was 25.
The pandemic stunted me as well. I'm 28 now and three years ago I also lost my maternal figure (my grandma), so that further made me feel stuck in time. I'm trying to figure stuff out rn, at least I don't have the pressure of paying rent to keep a roof over my head but it's still hard.
as someone who grew up watching this movie the transition of me watching this at 8 and now at 23 I remember relating to Ray so much and now am relating to Molly in the sense of trying to find yourself as a young adult through trauma and grief,,, amazing video !
i’ve been WAITING for this movie to get more recognition. it has hit written all over it and i’m still upset that it has been so overlooked since it came out! it’s one of my all time favorite movies and is the reason why Brittany Murphy is one of my favorite actresses. i still remember going to see this film with my mom and i was the same age as Dakota was in the movie. such great memories every time i watch it. i have a version of that exact fairy hanging in Molly’s room and charmed life is one of the theme songs of my life! carry uptown girls (spiritually) and Molly/Brittany’s energy with me everywhere. great video!! 💛
It's a pretty strange film. I remember having seen it, at some point, on tv, many years ago, but I just went and rewatched it, thanks to you. I did enjoy it and I definitely don't think it deserves 13% on Rotten Tomatoes (not that RT counts), though I wouldn't call it a masterpiece; it's not a perfect film, but it does do a lot of clever things. Like the way Molly feels sick and runs to the trash can, after hearing Ray is missing, which is a great metaphor for her assuming adult responsibilities, as though she's finally gotten off the tea cup ride. And the cinematography contrasts so well with the early 2000's tropes; the uneven lighting that casts dark shadows and the wide shots where a single character will stand in the middle of the frame, looking lost, counterbalance the fairytale narration, the pop music, the Disney Channel wardrobe. Based on the opening minutes, I expected the movie to maintain its naive tone, to the point where I was shocked at the 'rock'n'roll poet sex god' line, I couldn't believe they used the word sex. And that continued to happen, with Molly constantly taking off underwear, with 'a soundtrack to slit your wrists to', with Ray's father's death. Because of Molly's energy, I expected the story to take on her weightless whimsy, and be closer to 13 going on 30, for example. Instead, the plot punches down, over and over, before the conflict resolves, and that deterrence of expectation makes for a ride of a watching experience in and of itself
I lost my father in 2003 when I was 5.. this movie makes me cry *every single* time I watched it from when I was 7 to now at 25. Thank you for making this video, watching it is one of the most cathartic experiences a female child who’s seen parent death young, can go through.
Came back to say after watching your video I had to go back to revisit the movie myself. I was not disappointed. I sobbed of course but you’re right, the movie is a very truthful healing journey for these girls. Thank you for covering this or I may have forgotten this one and left it in the back of my mind as some cutesy girly movie I watched many years ago. It’s so much more than that.
I have worked as the nanny of a little girl who asked me if I wanted to be her mum and told me I was her best friend. I miss her a lot and that movie will always remind me of her
This is one of the movies that really hit more as you get older. I remembered watching it as a kid and thinking it was just comedy. Imagine how shocked I was watching it and seeing the emotional depth it entails. I think the only thing that makes this movie a bad movie is the romance. I honestly think if you took that part out it would feel less tacky and pass as an indie film lol. (Not to say cheesy movies aren't its own art form but anyways) The tea cups scene is poetic cinema and yes it is better than The Godfather :)
I love what you said about this film! I sang background vocals on Spinning around the Sun- Britney Murphy was the IT girl at the time, I wish we could have seen what she would have grown into movie wise…rip Britney Murphy you are missed!!
Great video. Really insightful and well made. My daughter and I fell in love with this movie years ago, can't get enough of it. She rewatched it just a couple months ago. It's been awhile for me, just seeing all these clips...Cried like a baby AGAIN at the teacup ride scene, got misty AGAIN at the, "I don't see any grown ups here" then, "I do" part...I relate to them both, having been orphaned at nine. Of course, I wasn't rich, so I went through a series of abusive foster homes instead never having any help or support and had no access to opportunities people with those things get. But still, totally relatable, grief is grief, losing parents is losing parents, and it sucks.
❤perfect way to explain what I realized only after rewatching this movie as an adult. Grief is grief and losing parents is losing parents, no matter how it happens. My dad abandoned my mom and I, and I always felt I was being too dramatic thinking I related more to kids who had a parent die vs kids who’s parents divorced, so I never talked about it. But now I realize abandonment is like death, one day they’re there and next day they are not. Just makes me feel more sane, understanding that is why I related to Rey so much. So sorry for all you had to go through, you have overcome so much! Histories like yours are why sometimes I felt too dramatic but we do all share grief
This movie means so much to me in so many ways, when I was younger I related to Ray, having been a misunderstood autistic little girl with strange particularities and interests for my age, I was often told I was so mature for my age, like an old lady trapped in a child’s body. Then later in life growing into a barely functioning adult with interests and sensibilities that are considered childish for my age and can barely hold a job other than childcare to save my life, I now relate to Molly immensely. Also as someone who worked in childcare for many many years and has experience caring for the emotionally neglected children of wealthy families I relate to the anger that Molly has for Ray’s mom towards the end of the movie. I could honestly write an entire book about the pain anguish and anger I feel towards neglectful parents, how even rich people (honestly especially rich people) are guilty of neglect, and how money and comfort will never replace the love that a child deserves. All around this movie feels so personal to my life and it will never cease to be a favorite of mine. I’ve often wondered why I never hear commentary channels talking about it because it is honestly an emotional and nuanced masterpiece.
My grandma recently passed. One of my oldest memories is watching this with my grandma and remembering how much I identified with Dakota Fanning’s character. It’s such a symbolic and meaningful film in my life.
I love uptown girls it's my favorite comfort movie. growing up I'd always watch it on tv or dvd. I remember going through my first death experience at the time losing my great grandmother unexpectedly right before we planned to go visit her. just like Ray I was in ballet and felt connect to her by that. I would do the whole dance at the end of movie and still remember it to this day. I wanted to be like Molly in a way being care free and pretty. now as an adult I have a new view on my love for this movie and see myself in both i didn't notice before.
I love this movie! It was my favorite as a kid and I watch it almost every time I’m sick or sad at home. I always connected with Molly , now and even as a 9-10 year old watching this because her personality is so childlike. Weirdly I was also always told I looked like Dakota Fanning as a kid. I also think a lot of my personal style takes inspiration from Molly’s character in this movie. The music is great, everything I just love this movie especially the relationship between Ray and Molly. I also was a nanny for a long time I think because of this movie and always wanted a pet pig and was sad to find out mini pigs aren’t a real thing!
I have such a similar relationship to this film! It was one of the few DVDs I owned so I would always pop it on, it’s definitely one of my comfort films. I’ve actually been considering nannying as well, and think it is partially because of this film hahaha
@@FinalGirlStudios it’s a very good job but I think the hardest part about it is getting attached to the children. Sometimes the children get so attached to you that parents get jealous as well. I used to have these two little boys cry and cry every time I left reaching out to me. I also had a mom who fired me after a few weeks her daughter was only 6 months I think she was going through postpartum. I also don’t think it’s right that in this country mothers and even fathers are expected to go right back to work. I loved it I have so many great relationships now and it’s definitely good money. Now that I’m a mom myself I can understand some of the things the parents felt at times I didn’t before.
@@Ilovecerealcerealcereal it just be so hard to be a nanny, be very involved in the kids life for a long time, and then suddenly stop either having to wait or getting fired, whatever the reason it just seems like such a heartbreaking job Since you were a baby have you ever heard of someone that I could hire that would help me with the children? Like, I'm home as well and the person just helps maybe do activities with them while I clean or helps prepare meals while I read books, basically just like a second pair of eyes and arms... Is there a word for that person that I could use to search out for the listing I want to put up? A helper? Idk. I tried googling but I'm no8⁸l
@@nicoledoubleyou you could look into getting an aupair/childminder but also depending on where you live certain nanny/childcare service companies offer/let you look for people for your specific needs you just have to explain to them what you need + are looking for and they’ll find someone with those requirements.
I love Uptown Girls and I miss Britney Murphey a lot. I wish she was still around, I would have loved to see what she did. This will always be a favorite.
i remember watching this movie fairly young, not realizing what it was really any before putting it on, i just remember seeing that brittany murphy and dakota fanning were in it and thinking “oooh this looks fun” and then i remember sitting there after i watched it for the first time completely gobsmacked that i couldn’t stop crying and how much this movie made me feel… and then thinking wow i was NOT ready for that lmao but i also didn’t have parents that were there much to tell me what i could and couldn’t watch
It's been years since I saw this movie for the first time, and I'm still equally in love with it as I was upon first watching it, if not more. It's the fact that, like you said, both of them have faced terrible trauma around the same age, and yet their trauma responses are so different. Molly never grew up and Ray grew up too quickly, and so through each other, Molly learned to be an adult and Ray learned how to be a child. It was also such an excellent way of showing that trauma can manifest itself differently from person to person, even if two people have gone through similar tragedies. Dakota and Brittany really did a great job of bringing out the best of their characters, and I especially want to applaud Dakota because that level of skill is so difficult to attain as a child, and she executed her role perfectly. Anyway, thank you for making a video on this. I really do think that this movie deserves more praise than what I see. I think I can confidently say that it's one of my favorite movies now. It's so charming, funny, and heartwarming and I wish more people would talk about it.
I remember being OBSESSED with this movie as a child (also one of the only films i had on DVD) and I remembered how formative it was when discussing movies that were a huge impact on us with my friends so i did a watchparty of it a little anxious because I tend to hate stuff that i used to love nowadays but it was EXACTLY as good as I remembered and I was so pleased. Seeing this video essay is euphoric reinforcement of my taste
i relate so much to both of them … actually growing up i was a lot like ray but after crashing under pressure and going through depression i became a lot more like molly… i also happen to have a five years younger sister who really is like ray and the two of us together really balance each other when it comes to maturity and supporting each other! we both have our traumar and mental issues (i have bpd and she has ocd) but we’re able to understand and accept each other in such an comfortable way! i love her and i really really love this movie since i was young
Similar story to about a boy, but I think I like this one more. It's so beautiful, and Brittany just emits this warmth that is crucial to her character. I just want to give her a hug
This video legit made me cry 😭😭😭😭 I too like most of you in the comments watched this as a little girl and funny enough I’m in a similar situation where I am a nanny to a little girl who is the opposite of me but we bring out the best in each other. And working with her and her siblings is healing my inner child. I’m so grateful for my job 🥰🥰🥰
RIP my queen Brittany ♥️ i loved this film as a kid, and i wish we could have gotten a sequel with Dakota as an adult and how their relationship developed through the years.
I have to point out the symbolism of the teacup ride. Molly states that the teacups were the only ride she was allowed to go on by herself, which further illustrates how *young* and *alone* Molly was when she was going through the most tragic point in her life. Same with Ray. Both so young and so alone, all the while the entire fucking world is spinning all around you and you’re trapped in the cycle of chaos, sickness, fun, disorientation.
this was such a good video!! I've loved this movie since childhood. In an interview Dakota Fanning said that Brittany Murphy bought them matching juicy tracksuits during filming!!!! 😭
As a child I cried happy tears at the end of the movie because of everything she went through, as an adult I cried sad tears at the end of the movie because of everything she went through.
I saw this negative review thing with Turning Red as well. A man can’t relate. So it’s an immediate bad review. The movie is well structured, and well composed in its time period. Really encapsulates the 90s era. But not from a male perspective.
Well I think it's implied that he was there for over a month before Molly was in the bath tub complaining about him not leaving. She probably didn't want him to leave either as to how she reacted when he said he was leaving. Cuz he said something about 1 month old Chinese food shortly after that.
Aw man I adore this film, thank you so much for making this. That opening scene is cinematic gold! I love everything about her messy room and her little routine for getting ready, putting a sparkly dress on, a sparkly flower in her hair, and shoes with sparkly stars. THE TINY PIGGY ugh just everything
To play the devil's advocate, from what I remember, the movie was advertised as a more traditional comedy. I certainly remember going in expecting laughs. From what I remember I didn't think it was a bad movie er se, but I don't think I loved it, either, and I imagine the unexpected darkness played a role in that. BUT also I think you're right that there was probably misogyny in the responses. The 2000s were not kind to women like Molly, when you look at Paris Hilton or Britney Spears. I really love what you picked up on here. You are absolutely right. It's a much deeper movie than it was given credit for being.
Growing my mom was an absentee parent and my dad was in the military so i related to Rey growing up. Two years ago my mom died and then my brother last november and now I see so much of myself in Molly. They really are two sides of the same coin. This video essay made me cry super hard but i think i needed it. So thank you.
This is my favorite movie of all time for every reason you mentioned and more. I cry not just watching it, but thinking about it as well. Thank you for making this!
This has always been one of my favorite movies as a kid for a lot of the reasons you say, and it’s nice to see someone address how deep the story actually is. I agree, I like it better then The Godfather too.
This movie was great. I just watched it bc a mutual on twitter tweeted out the intro and i found it nice between the music and the aesthetics, didn't expect it to like it so much. The writing is IMO on point, not sure if it's nostalgia talking but I miss movies that are written like this, nowadays it seems like stuff is either too dramatic or too comedic, with too much meta-referential humor or this kinda quirky acknowledgement of cliches (maybe i just watch too many franchise films), but i prefer the actual clichés when they're working in this charming way I really liked Ingrid's scene, the part right before the bills at 5:40, where she goes "This place is beyond its normal grotesque. It's post-nuclear!" lmao. That kind of ridiculous line but that fits the character so well is my kind of writing, it's basically how my head works and how i think in the shower the things i should've said instead of what i said in real life LOL And even tho my particular favorite bits from the movie distracted me, the actual point of the essay isn't lost on me, the themes it explores are so deep for a "shallow looking" movie, I definitely wasn't expecting this and was expecting more of a Clueless / usual romcom story but it really exceeded my expectation. I also feel like i related to both characters, but in my case in a more "chronological" way rather than with both at the same time right now. I feel like kid me was more like Ray, not necessarily controlling (i was p chaotic still) but i was always better behaved than my peers (in general), quieter, and probably coping in some way for emotional distance from my parents. And right now I am definitely like Molly, chaotic still, immature, kinda emotionally stuck in some past days long gone, seemingly unable to get my life together lmao. Hits hard seeing this 22yo getting her life together while i'm here being a waste of space at almost 26. I cry with almost any movie lately but this one hit the spot too a couple times, and it was a very warm feeling throughout. Also, my point about the writing still stands for these main characters too, they are well written, and they are very well performed as you said, Ray/Dakota is great and she really nails the character, as does Molly/Brittany. They both have this witty, expressive writing and performance that I lowkey feel modern movies and TV shows have kinda lost a little bit in favour of "realism" (maybe a subjective thing a not a reflection of the whole spectrum of "modern movies and TV" tho). Glad to hear they had a good relationship and honestly i was pretty saddened after watching the movie to find out that Brittany had passed away, in sus circumstances too. In Spanish Wikipedia it says that Dakota expressed kind words on her passing and the pictures you put seem to give off that vibe too. I hadn't thought of that "female bond" of older-younger women in this context (something like "man this wouldn't fly if it wasn't woman-girl" like at the scene where they're sleeping in the same bed came to my mind lol, but i hadn't considered it as you did) and it is a great insight, that "auntie" "older sister" vibe seems something good to have. I've been thinking of that especially in a queer angle, how intergenerational relationships (non-romantic i mean) are important in general, but especially for ppl who can't have/is less likely to have kids. And it seems like something that gets really stigmatized and for which there doesn't seem to be structures/norms/spaces that have risen for that purpose, and that's without talking of the 'groomer' thing. that stuff is one of the insults against the lgbt ppl that really saddens me the most, seems to be so targeted to attack these kinds of healthy relationships that are so vital for people in general, but even more for lgbt ppl who are more often hit by stuff like non-accepting parents and the neglect that comes with it.
Wow thanks for taking the time to write this thoughtful comment! I really enjoyed reading your insights and experiences with this film. It’s such a wonderful film which such a unique vibe and tone as you said, and one that is so close to my heart so I really enjoy reading other peoples thoughts on it! And I agree I think safe intergenerational (platonic) relationships are crucial to our development. I think in modern western society this has been largely lost due to the nuclear family unit structure. But I was certainly shaped in a positive way by older women in my life (who weren’t my family). Thank you again for your comment! 🥰
I agree so much about the likability and reliability of the characters and wonder whether the male critics would have said the same thing about the same behaviours from male characters.
you made me watch this movie again and honestly it's one of my favorite 2000s movie, it made me so emotional and nostalgic, being almost 20 i relate so much to both of them i also think 13 going on 30 gives us a message about assessing your inner child and healing through it, maybe you can analyze this movie if you want to :)) loved your video!!
I've never even seen this movie before, and the first mention of it that I've ever encountered was this video. I started crying immediately during the teacup ride scene.
i completely forgot about this movie. I remember loving it as a kid though. i should rewatch it. this movie and 13 going on 30 are S tier. also That teacup scene brought me to tears
Thank you for this! I loved this movie as a kid and watched it so many times and this video really brought back for me why I think I loved it so much but couldn’t put into words as a little kid.
Rewatching this as an adult after my dad passed hits different. You posted this on his birthday too 🥹 thank you for this video you're so right, it is an underrated masterpiece! 💕
