you being sure of who you are and not caring about what others think is a great perspective to have on life. and it makes sense to not bring up the detrans topic with people that are almost strangers to you. regarding clothes and shoes, a lot of women accept wearing heels as something normal because they see other women doing it. most people just follow what others are doing without questioning, no matter if they’re men or women. as women we’re also socialized to think beauty is pain, and that our looks are one of the most important things about us, so we should cater to patriarchal society's expectations of us. plus straight women want to attract male attention, so they’re more willing to go through wearing uncomfortable clothes and shoes compared to lesbians and bi women. it’s like the effect of socialization is more intense for them if that makes sense. i don’t think feminine clothes is the main issue either but the fact that women are influenced by mainstream media, advertising and socialization to wear tight and uncomfortable clothing to sexualize ourselves. loose long skirts or dresses are really comfortable during the summer 🙂
Giiiiirl, wanting your gf to occasionally refer to you as her boyfriend, husband, etc. is a sign that you're a masc woman who loves women, not that you aren't detransitioning correctly. That's very common for masc/fem same sex relationships. I'm a fem gay man and I love it when my fiance calls me his girlfriend, wifey, and uses female pronouns sometimes. It sounds romantic and sexy. Does that mean I'm trans? No. Does that mean my body is wrong? No. Does that mean I'm not critical enough of gender norms? No, not in my opinion. No detrans street cred lost in my book
