Venting or Gossiping? 

I'm guilty of this sin . I thought i was venting but in reality I was spreading gossip. Lord, please forgive me and mend all the broken hearts I've caused. Amen!

Beautifully put. "Set a guard, oh Lord, before my mouth, a gatekeeper at my lips." Psalm 141

I've actually always struggled with this subject, it's so nice to have a clear idea of what's acceptable and what's not. Thank you Father!

We need a channel dedicated to gossip alone. Gossip destroys families, relationships, communities. It is so poisonous that it destroys a person's life. God bless you Fr. Mike

Gossip drove my son from the church when he was a kid. He literally veiws the church as a pit of petty hostile people. I wish more people were aware of the consequences of gossip.

I am someone who has been gossiped about for 2 yrs at church. It gets so bad when I volunteer, I sometimes go home and cry. Thing is, I volunteer for God, not them. I try and make friends and help, but am pretty much an outcast because I do not gossip. Some of the cruelest people can be those who go to Mass, Take communion and then gossip about you. All I can do is pray that God gives me strength

This was so deep... Everyday Betrayal = Gossip. I honestly didn't know the difference between venting and gossiping and I believe many people believe the two words are interchangeable. Thanks for this clarification and God bless your online ministry. May hearts and souls be touched by the Word of God.

This came at just the right time! Thank you. As a recovering blabbermouth, I need to be more comfortable keeping silent about other people's matters, as well as practicing discretion on what I say.

As I listen to this, I can hear my coworkers gossiping about a former employee. I turned my headphones up.

When venting stops being "helping to carry a burden" to "recruiting to be on my side" Yes!

I'm new to your channel and I'm not actually catholic, but you really hit the head on the nail with this discussion about the difference between gossip and venting. I really appreciate this message

thank you for differentiating "letting it out" vs "getting someone on your side." The former happened to me recently. When a friend and I had a disagreement, I had to vent it out to someone else not because I wanted them to take my side, but because I just didn't know what to do and needed help. And I was okay venting to that specific someone because I knew they wouldn't take either side, but acknowledge both sides & comfort me at the same time. Sadly, I AM guilty of the latter, of trying to get someone on my side against a certain person... That wasn't cool of me, and tbh I still feel some pain from that every now and then. But I am grateful for a forgiving God who gives unlimited chances to try again. And I'm thankful for this video, and grateful to know the difference between venting and gossipping. Thank you, Father Mike

This really resonated with me because this is the main reason why I separated myself from my in-laws. They are Catholic, and so in marriage, I converted. They judged me and mistreated me even before I married my husband, only knowing me for about 8 months. My husband and I met somewhat later in life and so we knew we were ready, so we moved quickly. He comes from a huge tight-knit family and they are very judgmental. About 15 years into the marriage, after my mother in law passed, I stopped attending family functions because I’m just done. The gossip and tension has taken a toll on me so I just stopped attending family events. I’m done.

Thank you Fr Mike. Gossiping is a very disgusting habit, it destroys people & i can testify as i am a victim of church gossipers. I used to serve at church but one day i became the subject of malicious gossip of the same people who are also serving the church. However, i can face God because my conscience is clean but it has burned me alive at the stake, i turned my back at the church, stopped serving & stopped going to mass even, i thought what'sthe use anyway, for 25 years i was away from the church, i even tried going to mediums, started reading about new age religion but God never left me. To cut the story short & gladly, i returned back to the church this year, started attending the mass again, went back to confession again & started praying the holy rosary, chaplet of divine mercy & chaplet to st michael, etc again. If God wants me to serve again- it might take a lot of convincing, for now, im at peace to just pray, Our blessed mother never let go of me, i even dreamt of her one night telling me, it's time to go home, i didn'teven realize it was her until i received a picture of the immaculate concepcion from the Marian fathers. People need to understand especially those who are serving the church that gossip itself is a mortal sin, it kills not physically but spiritually not just the victim itelf but also the person who gossips & spreads lies, it is the work of the devil. I have decided that I will never leave Jesus & our blessed mother again for Judas & sadly, there are so many Judases in our church these days so i will stay praying in peace & quite, alone with God.

Women often carry the reputation for gossip, but even men should hear this difference between gossip and venting! Now I'll be going to reconciliation and apologizing to my roommate for gossiping...

I am muslim, but it’s very interesting/ I was very curious how the Christians think about gossip. Thankyou for the information father ❤️

My coworker and I vent a lot to each other about our manager because we both have to deal with him. It’s no secret about how he behaves - I mean no secret between us. Now I’m wondering if that’s really gossip if we just vent between ourselves. Ugh. Some days I feel like everything I do is a sin. Then I fall into the sin of scrupulosity. Maybe Fr. Mike should do a video on that sin.

This video is still providing great guidance 7 years after it was recorded. I needed to hear it in 2023. As a manager, I routinely discuss employee performance, aptitude, and attitude with two colleagues. On occasion, during legit conversations, we slide into sinful gossip and slander. Ugh. I better tape that verse on my forehead so I don't forget. Or better yet, on my computer screen (for zoom calls).

I've been struggling with gossip for a while and I always end up telling myself "well... I'm just venting". Of course this video would come up in my suggestions. Thank you!

A sin is a sin When we gossip we realize it by The Holy Spirit convicting us and then we as God for forgiveness I am always praying that God help me to stop gossiping in Jesus Name 🙏🏾. Praying for all who read this or listen to this and is gossiping 🙏🏾

Awesome words, Thank you Father. "Set a guard, LORD, before my mouth, keep watch over the door of my lips". Thank for sharing this prayer.

Amen……”recruiting someone to be on my side”……perfectly said!

This video is super helpful. I asked AI about this last week and I'm really happy to come across this video from Fr Mike. It helps to further make things clear. For anyone who needs it, here's what I got as a response from AI as the difference between venting and gossiping: "Gossiping is the act of casually talking about someone or something, often sharing unverified or personal information, rumors, or sensational details. It's usually done in an informal setting, like conversations with friends, family, or coworkers. Gossiping often involves: 1. Sharing personal or private information without consent 2. Spreading rumors or unverified stories 3. Talking about someone behind their back 4. Focusing on sensational or juicy details Gossiping can be harmful, as it can: 1. Damage reputations 2. Spread misinformation 3. Create conflict or drama 4. Erode trust and relationships Here's a distinction: Gossiping: - Sharing the story with the intention of exposing or humiliating the person - Focusing on sensational or juicy details - Sharing with people who don't need to know or aren't directly involved Venting: - Sharing your feelings and experience with someone you trust - Processing your emotions and seeking support - Focusing on your own perspective and reactions To ensure you're venting and not gossiping: 1. Share with someone you trust, like a close friend or family member. 2. Focus on your feelings and reactions, rather than attacking the person. 3. Avoid sharing unnecessary details or spreading the story further. Remember, venting can be therapeutic, but be mindful of your intentions and audience.It's essential to process your emotions and share your experience with trusted individuals without crossing the line into gossiping. Remember, venting is about seeking support and guidance, not about spreading the story or harming the person's reputation. When sharing with friends and family, focus on your feelings and reactions, using "I" statements, like: - "I feel disrespected and shocked by his behavior." - "I'm concerned about his wife and family." - "I'm disappointed in his lack of integrity." Avoid making statements that could be perceived as gossiping, like: - "You won't believe what he did!" - "He's such a terrible person!" By sharing your experience thoughtfully, you can: - Process your emotions - Seek support and guidance - Maintain a clear conscience And yes, praying for the person and their family is a wonderful idea. It shows empathy and a willingness to see them grow and change." Hope this helps! "Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them." Ephesians 4:29 NLT "Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips." - Psalm 141:3 (NIV) "The one who guards their lips guards their soul, but the one who speaks rashly will come to ruin." - Proverbs 13:3 (NIV) "Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone." - Colossians 4:6 (NIV)

Thank you for this Father Mike. I, too, struggle with this subject. I don't know the difference between gossiping or sharing information. I confess to gossiping every day because I get confused. I guess I gossip everytime I speak about someone else good or bad. I will definitely set a guard before my mouth and gatekeeper at my lips and think before I speak.

Thank you for this Fr. Mike! I found out the hard way what the difference is. I went and read on the life of St. Monica of Hippo and how she poured out her heart and shared her secrets only with God. I'm endeavoring to follow her example and already, I feel better about talking to Him alone whenever I have problems I can't share.

I turned to the internet to look up help with gossip and came across this. It was exactly what I needed to hear.

I can relate to that. I used to work at the Public Library. Been there for 9 years. I loved the job and the people I served, but I ended up quiting because of too much gossip on me by my co-workers.

I need to be more careful about the stuff that I share with people on Facebook.

WOW... so what we need to hear. It's so hard to figure out when you have a major problem. Sometimes it's not about helping someone but trying to find answers to what to do

📖Psalm 141:3 set o Lord a guard before my mouth,a gatekeeper at my lips! ✨

This was so good and I really needed it. Forgive me God for this and change me Amen!!

Fr. Mike, do you have a podcast? I could listen to you all day! Thank you for pointing out things I wouldn't really consider "wrong." And thank you for referencing the Bible or alluding to biblical times; it really helps me when I do my bible journaling.

Be a gate keeper of my mouth, a ward of my lips, so awesome, really thats my new pray thanks a lot

Great video done on an issue that goes mostly undetected. A lot of good saints get tangled up in the gossip web. Hurt people hurt people. We need healing and reconciliation. Thank you!! God bless you!!

downloaded all your videos, converted to one giant mp3... after i have an hour of silence when i wake up i play my massive Fr Mike mp3 with lord of the rings music playing quietly in the background. #quirkyconfessions. great video Fr Mike!

Our words really do destroy relationships. I'm going to start taking a look at Psalms 141:3!

this is such an effective and helpful message sent from Jesus through you, thank you Father Mike 🙏 eye opening perspective on such a difficult topic to tackle

Thank and thank our one and true father in heaven. God bless you brother Mike🙏

❤thank you, God bless you 🙏 Amen

Fr.mike like always what great message you give us...i do remember a prayer my mom always taught me in spansh "Cross of Jerusalem talk and respond for me calm the bad hearts that are against me" when I am involved in gossip I say the prayer in my mind and I kid you not but the person gets distracted or changes the subject!

Thank you Father Mike - this clears up that fine line of talking about someone to help them, or talking about them unfavourably to their harm. The later hurts them and ourselves rather than helping. Thank you for that insight. God Bless.

I ask in prayer for the Lord to fortify and cleanse my tongue everyday. This I believe to be a huge struggle for many of us. I have to practice thinking before I even open my mouth. Not my super power...

This is a major goal of mine. Working as a waitress provides a great challenge, and I'm not perfect at avoiding gossip, but I am getting ever better. Gossiping is cowardly and I'm not about that life. Finding more productive ways to vent and to respond to others' venting, well, it's a little way I hope to change the world. Encourage courage, not cowardice.

thank you for the verse in the Bible I really needed that I will pray daily thank you God bless

Father. Mike your wisdom is astounding,Holy Spirit shines from you And you have such a sense of humour in comparison to many priests i hope thats not gossip...

This is the video I needed in my feed today. There's been problems with a coworker, and the group discussion of these problems have made me uneasy as to whether it's gossip or not. Thank you Father Mike.

Wow I needed to hear this one... I am horrible about "just venting" and not doing it in a way that allow others to give me advice.

Full of wisdom, thanks Father Mike!

My sibling just got out of an abusive relationship and they vent to me often...but it is difficult to tell where the line is between venting about all the little everyday experiences of oppression/abuse and bashing their ex. I will try to pray that prayer/verse and for a way to share it with my sibling. Thanks for touching on the issue.

I have recently have been involved in a conflict with an organization and words truly can be toxic and I have to say I have trouble with what I should say to others because so much goes around. I don't want to talk bad about people, but I have heard so many lies about other individuals and even myself. It's just difficult trying to explain it in a way that doesn't put the other person down. Prayers are needed!

Yes, remember that "gossib" has been thw one thing that has helped women to be safe around men for ages. You should always think if the info is actually helpfull and important as the creatoe of this video said!

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you. We are very blessed to find this channel. Thank you, Fr Mike.

Man he is so spot on. If u wouldnt say it in front of the person ur talking about, u should not say it behind their back.

Thank you Fr. Mike for explaining that, to which we can help or hurt others, with a slip of the tongue, and can damage us spiritually as well. 🙏🙏🙏

This is the best explaination I've heard on gossiping. Thanks! You break it down perfectly!

Careful who you open up to

Wow !!!! You are really helping me see the things in my life I need to change about myself !!! Thank You !!!

This is probably the hardest one cuz everyone gossips

yes, we can express in a constructive manner so we can uplift others, our brethren. Peace be with you 🙏🏻

I always feel this need to "vent" I don't though I keep it all to myself. I don't have anyone that I can talk to about my problems that I've had over the years and this last few months it has gotten so much harder. I was this close to just "vent" on social media but I had seen the thumbnail for this video a few months ago but I avoided it because I thought that I could just not vent or gossip but today I had to just look it up to give me strength to not give in and I am so glad that I did! I have been renewed with your words Father Mike! I will say this prayer all day every day. Thank you and God bless you Father Mike!

Awe, man, absolutely! I like the analogy - everyday betrayal. "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me" - the gossip that changed a generation ;) Our words are the foundation of who we are and how we share our hearts! Thank you, Fr Mike!

This needs to be spoken about more.

This is the story of my life.m, Father. The older aunties who gossip is the reason why all youths stopped attending the prayer meetings & the reason why I left the church for 5 yrs. Edit : My Mum's lack of boundaries does n't help one bit either.

“Set a guard, oh Lord, before my mouth, a gatekeeper at my lips.” Psalm 141 verse 3

Fr Mike, Please do a video on proper dress for women going to church! I'm dressing modessly but would like to know your thoughts and guidelines on the subject. Thank you, Sherry 60-year-old Just covereted from no religion and made my Confirmation & 1st Holy Communion at the Easter Vigil !!!

Thank you. Needed to hear this. Thank you Father.

So venting is a reaching out and gossiping is recruiting to be on your side against that person....life changing!! sometimes in communion ill say put a stone on my tongue so i speak little, i think i read this in saint faustinas diary and i started saying it bcuz i got convicted reading james but james is right we all dragged Jesus to the cross so who am i to judge and be unmerciful that scripture gets me everytime like a knife thank you father i appreciate this in all u do as a preist

Venting to the wrong person can start gossip

Thank you for sharing such a timely message today for me from God. ❤

"what do we think of when we say, Brutus? Traitor!" I was in Julius Ceaser's play, and I was Brutus's servant. Brutus and I became good friends. we played our roles like we had developed a father-son relationship. at the very end when we all came out to see Brutus dead, I was there too! I come out, captured, and I got to scream his name. it was my most emotional scene. The girl who played Brutus even chose me to be the one to close her eyes at the end of the play!!!! It was so much fun! Even though I had a small part, I played it to the fullest and was the comedy relief at some points. People came up to me afterward and told me they cried at the end bc of me and that I was their fav character. My director told me, "You. are. amazing." So I have a very fond place in my heart for Brutus, especially since this was my first year doing drama ever.

Venting - I’m sharing. Gossip - I’m harming.

I try my best not to get involved in gossip because it can be very hurtful and damaging. At times I find myself getting involved in it (actually doing the gossiping or listening to it) and I always feel horrible afterwards.

Thank you!

I think we all struggle with this. Sometimes if I felt I had a raw deal with someone I might vent to a close colleague and often it helps me feel better when the colleague tells me of others' similar experiences with this person. Having listened to Father, I need to think twice about this. This channel is so useful! Thank you Father!

Unfortunately, 85% of our population are doing it on a daily basis. Some of them turned it into a full time career and proud of it.

I've always been told gossiping is wrong but I often have a hard time realizing the line between gossip and talking about somebody else. For instance, if I heard that so-and-so was pregnant out of wedlock, spreading this information would definitely be gossip. But what if I am speaking to one of my friends about a mutual friend who has behaved in a negative light, for instance, changing their character due to an unhealthy relationship, is this gossip? I want to refrain from gossiping but I just have a lot of trouble knowing where the boundaries lie.

Thank you❤

Enjoyed this message! side note: Fr. Mike = 70% Jon Hamm + 15% Jason Sudeikis + 15% John Krasinski

This was a GREAT teaching on this subject. God bless you!

To all interested “truth with handles “ has an episode on gossip 20min or so- Catholic women. It’s a must to listen to

Who doesn't need to hear this information? Great job Fr. Mike. 141 3 (and part of 4) is now on a post-it-note attached to my work monitor. It is weird how this is in my feed when I need it most.

As much as I appreciate Fr. Mike’s other videos, I actually think this one is more confusing than helpful. It still seems to me that venting is just a more socially acceptable word for gossiping. Personally, I find Dave Ramsey’s definition of gossip more helpful than attempting to make a distinction between venting and gossiping, which are really the same thing. Dave defines gossip as “When a negative is discussed with anyone who can’t solve the problem.” I can understand that sometimes there is a need to talk about another person in order to solve a problem, but I wouldn’t call that venting. Instead I would call it problem solving, or perhaps seeking advice. Just my two cents, from a fellow sinner who struggles with gossip and knowing where to draw the line.

Thank you so much for covering this topic! I 've been wondering about the difference between venting and gossiping for weeks, after reading something from Mother Angelica about gossip. She said something along the lines of "If it doesn't help the other person, don't say it." But that doesn't leave much room if another person is driving you crazy and you want to complain! So thank you for expanding on it, and thank you for finding a prayer for it. I know i'll be using it!

i love your videos! they have helped me out alot:) thanks Father Mike

When I'm in a conversation and it's usually when someone is having a problem with someone else and I feel we are talking about the behaviors and we are trying to process and analyze the situation. I some point I will say "Lord I am not gossiping about this person I am concerned about the behaviors that is causing this person pain and suffering".

its Fr mike saying ain't nobody got time for that for me😂😂😂😂... thank you Fr... you are always such a delight and I learn a whole lot from your messages..

Can you do a video about God being silent, with reference to St. Teresa of Calcutta?

Thank you for explaining this lesson.

When you said “mostly at church” -- you have that right 🤦🏼‍♀️ It actually happened “in” confession ….. and my reply was “holy ___” about four times - obviously, we both were wrong!

Posing question: What is the best course of action when people are gossiping to you?

Fantastic Amen 🙏❤️👍 thanks Fr Mike well said 🙏🙏👍

I have been doing this and I feel terrible and do t want to keep doing. Thank you for the video.

Venting typically involves open admission of it being personal feelings or opinions. Gossiping usually forgoes both and treats them as facts.

I had a bad car accident and a friend from high school told people I was addicted to drugs. I was so hurt by that and have had trouble getting over it because she told so many people right before my class reunion. I found out the hard way she wasn't a true friend.

Thank you Father Mike I needed this clarification

thank you father mike. psalm 141 that is for me. have to write that one down for sure

God needed me to hear this, thank you Father. this is fantastic

excellent, thank you for clarifying this. i have often wondered where the distinction lies!

Full disclosure, I stumbled on this channel “randomly” and am a witch. But the messages on the channel are so beautiful so I’ve been tuning in.

Well this helped a lot. Thanks Father! :)