Vesper's Stabbed Story 

The more stories he tells the harder it gets for him to deny that he is Florida Man

Vesper could very well have been the origin of "what are they going to do, stab me?" and the suspenseful sequel the next day "what are they going to do, stab me again?"

imagine stabbing someone hoping to cause some damage and then you see the same guy drinking again the next night.

"I think the person that attacked me and I would get along pretty well" Just Vesper things.

bro really got stabbed and finnessed of $2200 but it wasn't a robbery it was the hospital 💀

Amelia and Vesper have the most craziest stories I wonder how either one are still alive.

As someone else said, all shirtless fanart of Vesper made to this point is now inaccurate.

Somewhere out there there's a now-seasoned vampire slayer who, from time-to-time, stops whatever they're doing - just for a second - to think about that time they tried to kill their first vampire & thought they were going to die because they messed it up so horribly... but he just staggered away drunk without even noticing he was even attacked.

You think this old man is all books, bicycles and tea, but he is actually hardcore

"I do not remember getting stabbed" is quite a way to start a story.

The way Vesper tells stories is immaculate

He laughs and calls himself and idiot for initially thinking he lost his virginity but it could have been worse. He could have seen the bloodstain and thought "Did I have my first period?"

If I had a nickel for how many times Vesper has been stabbed and never noticed, I'd have 2 nickels. Which isn't much but it's WILD it apparently happened TWICE

"Did I lose my virginity?" "Oh, I got stabbed." Same thing.

Vesper was an absolute fiend during college, my lord

Dude took Captain America’s advice literally “If you get killed… walk it off”

“I think the person who stabbed me, would probably get along with me because we’re probably the same person” Vesper, 2022

Imagine getting what essentially is a $2,2k band aid

The key takeaway is that you have to use silver knife to deal fatal wound to the vampire. Normal knife will just make him laughing it off.

I don't know if Vesper is actually from Florida; but if he's not I think we can say he's an honorable Florida Man.

Just when I thought Holopro had some bad alcoholism, Young Vesper came in with the craziest drink related stories ever

When I graduate from middle school I spent a few months away from my friends. When we met again I asked "how you doing" and one of them said "I've been stabbed last week". I believe you Vesper. I believe you.

What's even crazier is that maybe he did lose his V card that same day but if he can't remember being attacked, I doubt he would remember that either. Also Wow thank you for clipping the whole story and afterthoughts!

Are we ABSOLUTELY sure Ves still has both his kidneys? 🤣

vesper is an rpg character confirmed, can just sleep off injuries and he's all good

The theory of him being from florida is gaining more evidence

And Vesper thinks he is the most hinged person ever. Hinged people don't get stabbed on multiple occasions casually.

Vesper: *sees blood on bed* Vesper: "Omg, am I on period?"

"Did I get...FUCKED?!" Sent all of my condiments to Jupiter, man ~wassup, V?~ things that were never said

I (a Swede) spit out my coffee when I heard the cost of just getting someone to look at the wound... I never cease to get baffled by American healthcare

Older than 21 to drink and 15 years ago. One of my people.

Vesper is one of the wildest cryptids in Hololive, and I love it.

Poor vesper. First he gets stabbed, then he gets robbed by the hospital.

- Vesper was blackout drunk, unable to defend himself - Vesper was stabbed, he suspects his attacker "had the same personality as him" - Vesper somehow miraculously survived and didn't bleed out on his way home or while sleeping off his hangover. My guess is Vesper pulled some Terminator shenanigans, going back in time to kill his past self then realizing that it was a bad idea.

if you are attacked and they do not steal anything from you, the chances of the attacker being someone close to you are much higher so.... that room mate is hella sus lol.

Lack of cash, getting stabbed or hurricanes. Ain't nothing keeping this man from his drink.

I like to think Vesper got into a confrontation with an equally drunk Vampire Hunter.

I can't believe drunk Vesper stabbed himself just to mess with hungover Vesper

This bordering on Ame levels of absurd "how are you not dead?" Story.

ahh...I remember my forays into America, as I also had to pay $2000 to get a stab wound covered with Flex-tape

Im just going to assume he couldn’t pay the 2 grand for the sticker and the doctor was like „sorry man looks like we have to re-stab you“ and that’s why he can’t talk about the second incident.

I would say “what if Vesper stabbed himself?” but that kind of stab isn’t really easy to do to yourself. Goddam.

Vesper just took a long rest, it restores all your hit points.

There is a reason vesper is so wise. He has learned from his past mistakes

how the fuck is Vesper still alive XD

Wakes up in the morning, sees blood in bed. *"It's a flesh wound."*

*guy stabs vesper* *Vesper doesn't react at all* Guy: understandable, have a nice day

“My immediate thought was did I lose my v card?” HAD ME DYING 😂😂😂

I have never stabbed anyone. But if by some twist of horrible fate I have to, and that person does even react and just walks away. I would run as fast as I could away

The craziest part about this story is that shit like this happens a lot in colleges. I never went to college, but I've heard similar stories.

I'm not sure if this is medically accurate or not, but the fact that Vesper was so drunk might have saved his life. Since alcohol lowers your heart-rate in large quantities, being black-out drunk might have lowered his heart-rate low enought to give the wound enough time to clot before he bled out.

He literally did a long rest to restore all hitpoints

“DID I GET FUCKED?!” YO Vesper is hilarious. That’s nuts though

"Florida Man licks all the action figures, gets stabbed, goes home" wow, it works.

Vesper just has a way of telling stories that makes them so much more entertaining/interesting.

Just casually sleeps off getting shanked. What a chad.

"And this was during my college years" Well of course he doesn't remember it that must've been like 200 years ago

Collage 15 years ago. He was drinking so at least 21 years old then… Vesper is at least 36 years old…

That's literally how Abraham Van Hellsing stabbed Dracula. When he was asleep!

This man seems like the most rational man to ever exist on the surface... on the other hand, introverted my ass??! Going around licking figurines for everyone's amusement what the hell 😂

Those damn Van Helsings and Belmonts, I tell you.

My boi passed the vibe check

somehow I imagined this is a canonical storyline with his "hey it's hurricane, let's hit the bar" story.

Remember when Ame had the most "how is this person still alive?!" kind of stories? Man, those were such innocent times.

Ame is California girl, Vesper is Florida man

vesper is like a honey badger

Dang. Healthcare sounds like an extortion racket in Elysium.

"This was like 15 years ago" Wow this is the first time that I'm realizing that Vesper is in his mid to late 30s

Just like the guy who was shot in the head by his wife and complained about headaches. Vesper is a different kind of breed tbh

Getting stabbed at a bar and going back to the bar the next night is such a power move.

Damn, hearing about US Healthcare never cease to amaze me. I mean he waited for 2 hours (presumably bleeding) and had to pay 2200$ for a "checkup"?

Vesper being an actual vampire.

Thats inmunity to non-magical damage

Clearly someone in the bar got tired of watching him lick those action figures.

You would have thought that he got robbed or something but the one doing the robbing is the hospital.

this man is not normal, and we love him for that

That actually happens a lot here in the Philippines specially in mindanao that people made a phrase for that "gripo sa kilid" or "faucet on the side" in english which means you're gonna get punctured and you wont even know until blood starts leaking out of your body like a faucet And the reason oftentimes is just they felt like stabbing someone or the most common one "hambugero" or braggart

2200 dollars! That to me is the craziest part of that story and thats saying something....

This is the first video I've seen of Vesper. I don't know what I was expecting but it wasn't this LMAO

Keep in mind, this is the small stabbing story. There's another bigger one!

The scariest part of this story is the bill. American Healthcare is an actual nightmare.

that was his college years, imagine highschool and kindergarden

A girl stabbed my hand with a candy cane. My hand was on the desk and she sharpened it and slammed it down. She was nice.

Tbh, I still wonder how Amelia, Vesper and Hakka are still alive right now.

And now we wait for Vesper to share the story of the second time he got stabbed.

I mean there was this guy while he was sleeping, got shot by his son, point blank, in the face, and he didn't notice. Just got up the next day and did his normal routine, then his body just went.. wait?? *Dies*

He is the most Unhinged in TEMPUS and he's in denial

"I think the person who stabbed me and I would get along very well."

Wow this story is so funny it has me in stickers

The more I hear Vesper's stories, the more I think he is a Florida man that doesn't know what the hell is going on and just does things hoping they work out

Vesper dad lore

My man is like "I knew the person that attack me. He is me after all"

Imagine stabbing someone and they don't even react. I'd be scared out of my mind.

"Did I lose my v card?" Next question should be if his ass hurts.

got a wound in your back? "FLEX TAPE!!!" lmao

Hmmmmm....drunk...during his college years....yeah that's a Tuesday in Florida

6:58 the plot twist he made legit make me LMAO-ing so hard😂

god damn vampire

the sticker is prolly duoderm, a hydrocolloid patch that promotes wound healing

My first reaction would be "was someone on their period?"