Viall Files Episode 38: Spank Bank of Your Wife with Tanner Tolbert 

Most of us were really interested to hear Tanner elaborating his perspective about this... guess we will never know.

LET TANNER TALK DUDE

I love Demi but I do agree with Tanner. Nick seems protective over Demi which is fine but not able to clearly have an open mind to actually listen to what tanner is saying and instead nick is doing his interrupting thing.

also what kind of double standard is this by nick calling tanner a "die hard bachelor fan" and that he should limit his comments and enjoy the show. You have a whole podcast series because of these bachelor "die hard" fans and give strong opinions on the show every episode but if Tanner has an opinion he is a die hard fan that shouldn't say anything ? ok. I see why you agree with Demi now double standards go right over your head.

Demi needs to apologize to Tanner for what she said. It was completely out of line.

I always agree with just about everything you say, but damn Nick, did you want Tanner on the show to share his perspective or for you to defend Demi? 🙄 Ridiculous...

The “yeah but who cares?” Comment felt a little disrespectful. Clearly he does, we as fans do care about the authenticity of the show. You wanna be biased and protect ur friendships with the cast and production, we just wanna enjoy the show 🤷🏻‍♀️

I hated the Demi discussion, Tanner views the show as a fan, Nick seems a bit biased. He was pushing it so hard it felt like an interrogation lol

Hey Nick, been a fan of yours since Kaitlyn's season of Bachelorette (when I started watching the franchise) and have listened to your podcast pretty consistently on Spotify. I say that to say that I'm a fan, and I'll continue to be a fan and support your endeavors. I do have to say, however, that I was really disappointed in this interview. Starting at the @8:16 timestamp I felt as though I couldn't even finish the interview because what I consistently heard was: 1. Your explanations to Tanner as to why Tanner is wrong. 2. You'd ask questions, the majority of which you answer at length more than Tanner is able to answer. 3. Your connections personal relationships that you have with producers and contestants to validate your responses. It felt like you were so concerned in validating your own points then hearing the validity of Tanner's points. You also seemed to defend Demi, who seems perfectly capable of defending herself, for the sake of playing devil's advocate? For the sake of changing Tanner's mind to yours? Saying "you're not that sensitive" to Tanner's response to Demi's comments about his sexual relationship with his wife seemed really demeaning to his feelings, whether they were hurt or not. Ultimately I think Tanner was criticizing the show for selling the false narrative that it wasn't always the plan to bring Kristian on to the show more than he was ever criticizing Demi or her relationship with Kristian. As someone who listens to your podcast regularly, I'm well aware of your feelings on this. The whole point to bring on someone to the podcast that has a counterpoint, is to hear their counterpoint, and I don't think I got to hear a depth to Tanner's thoughts or intentions beyond what I could infer from his tweets, through this conversation.

NICK STOP TALKING OVER YOUR GUESTS!

Nick- NOT a fan of you in this discussion. you are coming off as very arrogant, and the way (tone ) you talk to Tanner with is a bit condescending.... Tanner on the other hand, Bravo. You are 100% right

Would've been nice if you would've let Tanner say everything he felt instead of talking over him or cutting him off before he got a chance to explain things. You seemed very defensive and determined to disagree with whatever Tanner was going to say about Demi before he even said it. I liked how Tanner fully listened to everything you said and acknowledged some of the points that you made as good.

Big fan of this podcast and normally get through all of the interviews. But come on, Nick. This was ridiculous, you would not let Tanner talk. If you are too close to a story then you shouldn't do an interview because you dont let your guest speak their opinions.

Nick should interview himself..maybe he would actually listen

Nick you are the one who is not open minded! Your arguing with how Tanner and many fans feel about this. Open your mind and listen! You’re missing the point

Nick acting like he didn't understand Demi's tweet

Also, Tanner disagreeng with how everything was staged in favour of seeing the first bisexual couple in franchise DOES NOT MEAN that he is anti-homosexual relationships. Why does one have to exclude the other? He is talking about authenticity and grey areas when it comes to this show and relationships in general. I think it would be better if the conversation between you two was more open minded. For example: Demi saying she is involved with someone outside of the show and that whole situation... IT IS NOT BLACK AND WHITE there are positive sides and there are shady sides. Why not admit that it is not totally transperent situation AND THAT IT IS OK? That's life. I don't like that she is portrayed as a ''hero'' when her actions were not totally fair to the other person just because she is bi and we have to tread carefully. Everyone else had to own their shady actions and so shoud she. That does not mean she is a ''villian'' but she is not completely innocent and it is so obvious that this situation was staged from the start.

Tanner is NOT stubborn - you are Nick! Boy have you become full of yourself

DO YOU CALL GUEST ON YOUR SHOW TO INTERVIEW THEM...OR MAKE THEM SIT QUIETLY ON THE SOFA AND JUST LISTEN TO YOU.... M COMPLETELY ON TANNER's SIDE ALWAYS...

Loved how open and honest he was about his marriage life!! Please have Jade come on as well!

I’m with Tanner on the Demi situation. I don’t like the dishonesty and plan of the situation. She should’ve come on WITH Kristian instead of getting involved with Derek.

FFS, Nick, let Tanner describe his position. I was interested in what he had to say but you over-talked him the entire effing time. OMG

Yes we as fans want to believe this is not scripted! Once Demi came out on BIP, she needed to go home with Christian! There’s NO reason for them to stay on the show when there are NO other options for them!! Come on Nick!! And read your damn comments - too big for your own good!

Oh my gosh, worst host ever! Let the man talk! Nick clearly loves his own voice.

Why haven’t you allowed him to speak? I understand that you’re friends with Demi, but you cannot bring this man in and not allow him to have his point of view.

so basically Tanner is right and Nicks argument is who cares I am friends with Demi so obviously everything she tells me is true.. ehhh wrong Nick. I believe Tanners source. its common sense that the person being shady isn't gonna tell anyone the truth (even to their friends) but the people who are in on the production will know.

I can normally look past Nick’s interruptions but oh my gosh. This is so annoying to listen to. Let Tanner finish his thought 🤦🏽‍♀️

This podcast was just as bad as the last one. I can’t even listen anymore and can’t stand the pompous attitude esp when you should be having dialogue with your guest, not a beat down for telling HIS truth 🙄

Nick can you stop saying this is great for bachelor bc its opening up to LGBT community. Majority of people aren't mad about that, they are angry at this lie they are trying to feed the audience and trying to play it off as authentic. Demi had no business being on there bc she clearly had a GF not just someone she was dating. I thought that was made clear by Christians hurt and reaction to Demi cheating on her with Derek. I am sure Christian will come out and say this if they don't end up together

Nick should’ve just had a conversation by himself, Bc he legit didn’t let tanner speak for himself at all... what a tool!

Nick, really liked Tanner as a guest. P.S. Let him talk! You interrupted him pretty regularly :)

Having a gay sister does not make you the expert on all gay matters. I support Demi and her girlfriend and their relationship but also disagree with how it’s being handled and think this season was too scripted. You can be a gay advocate and want your fav show to be more authentic. Those things aren’t mutually exclusive. Love Tanner and his point of view!

A summary of Nick's argument during the Demi discussion: "Demi's my friend! Stop being mean to her, dummy!"

Hi! No shade but work on not interrupting everyone when they try to talk! It seems frustrating for the other person, and annoying to listen to you talk over every word that comes out of their mouth. Also try to listen and understand what other people are saying instead of trying to talk over them and prove your point.

Nick, I normally really enjoy your podcast, but this is just ridiculous. I'm only a few minutes into it, and I am SO irritated. It's fine to have your opinion, but it's not OK for someone else to disagree? You were not at all interested in what Tanner had to say. Please take the constructive criticism that the majority of us have and apply it to your future episodes.

Tanner was an unbelievable guest Nick stop being so arrogant and let your guests speak

qaaaLet the man talk, Nick! Do you never learn? Tanner have some valid points here as well! I don’t think he would said all of this if he didn’t knew it was wrong.. He doesn’t do this for attention either, he talks because this is wrong, and i personal think it is wrong as well. I liked the show SO much more when Desiree was the Bachelorette. Just autentic, and real! And let me honest here, Tanner have many good points here. And the tweet she wrote to him about his sexlife was just mean. And i really do like Demi aswell, and want to be happy. But please let Tanner talk, don’t interupt every 10 second and don’t tell him how he shouald feel about all of this. He is allowedf to feel the way this was without being attact. So please Nick, let your guest talk without being interupted...

Also, JPJ not letting Derrick talk is like Nick not letting Tanner talk! Lol

Holy Nick you need to get someone to coach you on hosting. You need to step back and allow your guest to speak. We understand you believe what you think but your guest needs to be able to speak as well and say what they believe. Yes this is your show but flaunting it as you are doesn't look good. Please please please read your comments and think before you speak.

I´m with Tanner on this one, i wish Nick would be more open to listen to him and let him talk he didn´t give him the time to talk in all the podcast... i get he is friend of Demi and the producers. Reality Steve said that a lot of bachelor people learn about Demi´s plan before paradise.

This episode is so frustrating because I’m a fan of you both. I feel so bad for Tanner because he didn’t even get a chance to finish his explanation. Just because you weren’t offended by Clay’s tweet doesn’t mean Tanner can’t get frustrated with Demi’s tweet. People are different. How you’re so understanding of Demi but not at all of Tanner is just so weird to me. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

They kept her on because she gives good TV- and that’s about it. Realistically, her relationship defies the concept of the show. Doesn’t make much sense.. just a free vacay for her and her boo.

Nick let the man talk.You are not being open minded.

Nick is the biggest hypocrite in this interview!

This is badddddd. Oh gosh Nick, what were you thinking? Nick was TOTALLY gaslighting Tanner with phrases like "you're not that sensitive" or "I disagree and even if you're right, who cares?" Plus, making it worse, Nick constantly interrupted Tanner and has been told time and time again that he needs to work on this aspect as an interviewer.

Side note; why is Nick so ride or die for this relatively new friendship with Demi and completely dismissing his friend of several years feelings of hurt that Demi caused? Seems odd and like Nick wants to benefit somehow by being overly "woke". Like his closeness to Demi will attract more followers than just being a loyal friend to Tanner.

Nick making excuses 🙄 and not being open to listen to Tanner. That does not make a good host

I disagree with you on this one Nick. Tayshia handled the JPJ and Dereck issue right. She was encouraging JPJ to date and navigate through the experience of paradise. I take offense when men blame women for trying to break something off with class. She wasn’t playing him and leading him on. She was just enjoying her experience and had every right to. The entire purpose of paradise is to date and connect with the person you like. Don’t blame the woman especially when it’s a dating show to find love. JPJ was wrong and ignorant. Tayshia didn’t cause him to disrespect Dereck. He is accountable for his behavior, not Tayshia.

Nick kept cutting off Tanner and not allowing him to talk freely to finish his thought. It’s like Nick is SO sure he’s right. #annoying

Nick, PLEASE let your guests speak! I’m interested in hearing Tanner’s point of view, that’s why I clicked on the video, and you’re constantly interrupting him! So annoying

This makes me never want to listen to you podcast ever again

TANNER- please go to another podcast so we can hear what you have to say!!!

I love this podcast and the subject matter it deals with most of the time, BUT MY GOD Nick you are a terrible interlocotur in this one! It is so hard to listen and I can just imagine how frustrated Tanner was after filming this. You really need to work on your conversational skills. You are an interesting guy but your opinion is not everything. PAY ATTENTION TO: turn-taking, speaking over your guests, INTERRUPTING, really accepting opinions that are different from yours (insted of always trying to get the last word) and so on. Maybe you should take a page out of The Morning Toast's book because the two sisters are great example of how to lead a conversation and respectfully disagree while at the same time maintain a fun atmosphere. This is so frustrating to watch because it feels like you HAVE TO BE RIGHT all the time and it feels like you will smother to death anyone who has different opinion from you. I'm saying this as a constructive criticism because I think the podcast would be more enoyable if you were more accepting of other people's opinions. That's all.

The whole things fake!! The producers planned the whole Derek and Demi Drama and Derek was in on it..and the while plan was to make Derek the next Bachelor

Is it worth listening to the end of this episode? I'm a half hour in and am ready to pull the plug.

I agree with tanner on this one. Nick was so rude here

Nick, let Tanner speak, you have to learn to listen and let the other person express their opinion, even if you don't agree. I don't know what is true or not, to much speculation and talk. Getting tired of Bachelor and BIP drama

Tanner is 110 percent right about everything

100% agree with Tanner. If Demi was being honest she would have told Derek she was in a very serious relationship with a woman back home. That isn't what she said. She said kind of spending time with a woman. That sounds like it was nothing serious. She should have told him she's in love with a woman.

She had no business being on the show if she had a girlfriend beforehand, tanner is absolutely right !

Nick is so closed minded!

I usually enjoy watching Nick’s podcast, but this was really annoying to watch. What’s the point in having a guest if you don’t allow them to finish a sentence?

There is a reason why Nick is single and Tanner happily married ...its obvious from this conversation

This is so frustrating! What was even the point of your arguing?? Tanner listened to everything you said respectfully. 90% of his criticisms were directed at the show, not Demi, so why were you bending over backwards to drop names and explain how extremely close you are with Demi or producers? It doesn’t support your statements at all! Just because you know these people doesn’t mean you are guaranteed every ounce of information, and it also doesn’t mean that the information Tanner has is false. I want to like this podcast so bad but time and time again you just cut off your guests with opposing arguments and then just continue to beat a dead horse. Lol can someone add up the amount of time Nick spent talking vs the amount of time Tanner spent talking 🙄

What's the point of having Tanner there when he can't even SPEAK!!!! Tanner had every right to go at Demi for her reacting the way she did. The way he carries himself, he clearly thinks his sh!t don't stink. Nick, if you're gonna have guests, let them finish before you decide to interrupt!

I am truly not interested in watching anymore.

I’m sorry but I couldn’t even finish listening to this. I usually love you Nick but after listening to this podcast I’ve lost a lot of respect for you. You didn’t let Tanner even really discuss how he truly felt. You completely disregarded everything he said like everything you’re saying is facts and how he feels is wrong. At your age you should know better than that. Demi attacking him the way she did and saying fuck off and also saying I can teach you a thing or two was completely disrespectful a low blow and unnecessary. I don’t care how mad she was it’s classless and you never ever bring that to the table. It’s none of her business. Quit defending everything she says. I’m pretty sure if someone said that about you and your wife Nick in the future you wouldn’t appreciate it. You always speak your opinion out there on social media but Tanner is not allowed to and is wrong ? You’re being a hypocrite

I agree with Tanner about the staging. The show is tainted now.

I think that Tanner's opinion is based on the fact that he's watching from the point of view of a fan whereas Nick's opinion is based on the fact that he's watching from the point of view of a former lead/cast member on the show. That's why Nick's opinions are more fact-based whereas Tanner's opinions are more rooted in emotions. Obviously, more people can relate to Tanner's point of view but objectively speaking, Nick made some great points. I honestly think that the reason why this episode is so polarizing is because a lot more people naturally relate to Tanner's point of view and given how passionately Nick argued against it, it obviously makes people feel like they are being lectured, themselves. That being said, I agree with Nick in the sense the reality of the situation is that reality TV is staged and therefore by its own nature, it is impossible for the show to be completely authentic....and I do think that the show would be boring if the producers stopped staging/ creating storylines for the sake of making good TV. JMO

This is the most biased interview throughout all the videos I've watched. I feel like Tanner is being attacked, and Nick is just worrying about protecting his "friends/ former cast mates". Tanner is being ran through in every attempt at explaining why he feels the way he does. Which is valid because the issue lies between Tanner and Demi. I feel like just because the topic is what it is, makes for more aggressive responses in hopes to elevate Demi because of how vulnerable she was able to be this season. Makes me sad and angry for Tanner.

Demi has been running her mouth since her first day on Colton’s season ... so tbh I don’t care if she’s getting backlash or hate, she kinda has it coming. She’s always been immature and will probably have many regrets in the future of the way she’s handled her time on TV and spoken to others. Tanner didn’t deserve for her to make a snarky unrelatedly comment like that.

Tanner's stubborn Nick??? Uhhhhh......

Came to the comments to see if anyone else was getting frustrated with the interruptions... didn't expect it to be the entire comment secion. Nick, I appreciate your point of view and even think you have good ideas, but you are INTERVIEWING. You have to give other people the opportunity to talk, respect their perspectives, and stop going on soapbox rants where you repeat the same thing 20 different ways without letting anyone else talk. These comments might seem brutal, but I think we like you enough to give you think constructive feedback. I believe the ratio of speaking/listening as a host is meant to be 20/80... and you are doing about 80/20. I shouldn't have to yell "omg shut up" to my computer during an interview. :)

I thought you were a sensible man until today so thumbs down I’m not sure if I’m coming back but very disappointed with the level of bias

Nick is SO HARD on Team Demi that it seems as though he's only doing that because he knows it's the trendier option. Tanner made some valid points and Nick wouldn't even hear him out.

If we skip through the initial Demi-tanner-nick talking over bit, I enjoyed tanner opening about sex and romance in marriage, like being at home with a baby is harder than working and to see just two friends having a chat :)

You expect tanner to be open to your side of it but will not take a second to listen to his side of it. I watch all your podcasts, but this one was hard to listen to.

I feel like nick just brought him on to shove his prospective down tanners throat! Let tanner talk and try to view his side of things. I agree with tanner! 💯

Freaking loved this episode! Favorite so far, I enjoyed hearing both sides and the fact Tanner was so open and didn’t get defensive I think that speaks highly of him. I have found that I really enjoy the episodes with the guys. As always great job on the podcast Nick, can’t wait to hear what’s next!

I feel bad for Tanner. He took the time and be in your podcast, a little respect please... Public Apology to Tanner

I’ve liked almost all the episodes, but this is the worst one. Nick let Tanner have his opinion and don’t beat the bush for 45 min that was exhausting.

You really don’t let him get a word in

I would LOVE to hear what Tanner has to say...

I feel like the frustrating thing about this story telling thing is that while the reunion between kristian and demi is obviously true real raw emotions, I don't think it the conversations demi had with katie or hannah were genuine, as if her best friends don't know that she has been seeing a woman if nick himself knew, those conversations were 100% staged and felt really disingenuous and I would have preferred they didn't include those conversations because I think thats why the public feels "lied to"

I love how honest Tanner is about life and intimacy with children...everyone is thinking it but no one openly says it like that. Absolutely love it!

25:00, Nick explains how he conspired through his entire season to make Rachel the Bachelorette. 😁

How is nick saying that he's annoyed about all the DMing and behind the scenes conversation tanner is talking about when he is using the behind the scenes conversation he's had with demi and derek as his "proof" that the whole thing wasn't staged?

One of the ladies should have been on this podcast to mediate.

Ewwww. “I know you’re a passionate tv fan” nick let me tell u , you are nobody important we come here for the conversation on shows we like. Most of your audience is bothered by YOU because what kind of conversation is this

Great podcast Tanner was a great guest. Loved hearing his sides of things. He is real and open and that is great.

Loved Tanner’s openness & honesty about their relationship. Hope he doesn’t catch hell for it. Their relationship woes after kids are so typical and taking care of two kids all day makes you exhausted. It’s important to have alone time together even if that means going away w/o kids for a long weekend.

Nick being a little bit overprotective the show ANd Dami Stuff ANd interrupted Tanner so many levels 😑 by the Way i liked How Tanner was honest

I just can't anymore. Loved Nick from the first season he was on but not giving interviewee a chance to actually response is pissing me off. Not the first time but def the worst what I've watched.

Goosebumps hearing you’re raising money for CF! My sister has it too so thank you for bringing awareness and raising money for cures! ❤️❤️❤️

When listening to the podcast, I thought I was the only one who thought Nick was so rude and confrontational to Tanner, and obviously biased towards Demi. After reading the comments, obviously not!

I had a lot of issues with this episode but mine were with Tanner......I continue to enjoy these podcasts thoroughly because of Nick's open mindedness and good advice and Richelle and Sug's feminine energy and point of views. if you're gonna have another straight white dude on the podcast please have your lovely cohosts with you. I think they would have provided some healthy counterpoints to a lot of what was said and the conversations wouldn't have been so messy.

Enjoyed this ep w/ Tanner. I could understand his point of view on Demi & the show. Congrats to him for his newborn. Wishing him & his beautiful fam many blessings. ❤️

I really wanted to listen to tanner...but you made it impossible for me to watch the whole video...so THANK YOU FOR THAT.

Nick should really keep the mic further away from his mouth...

I am obsessed with how honest and candid Tanner is. Pleas bring him on again!