Kari, as a former firefighter/confined space rescue tech we had a device called a SKED. This device can in very handy for body removal. The cost is usually about $600 for the entire system. And it is compact for easy storage.
Good morning Kari! My grandfather died in 1981 and was cremated. I was just a little girl, but I remember it as if it were yesterday. We had a huge service for him at the church and then placed the cremains in the collumbarium at the church. In 2007, my Grandmother died and she was alsocremated, however, it was not until May 2008 that we could all come back together at the church for her memorial service. Her service was just as beautiful as his. Throughout the years, I have attended many services that have been for people who have been cremated. In the Episcopal Church, the service is almost identical to if the actual body were present (there is only a couple of prayers not said by the Priest). Of course if the remains are not being placed in the collumbarium or buried, then the committal portion is not done. The Celebration of Life is very important to us as a Christian community and I honestly can't imagine not having a service for someone, even if it is a very small simple service just to remember them. Good video and excellent questions.
I watch your clips when lm able; and today for some reason l have to say, l noticed you have a great passion of thinking before you speak. "You know that instinctive sense of caution is everything." You have empathy. You take your questions seriously, and you explain what and why. You take your time to answer honestly. Your very professional.
💯💯💯 Kari you are a perfect person to interact with the people. When my mom passed and they were getting ready to take her the nurse kindly said if you would like to go into another room might be good. I did. They were good⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
These viewer questions are great, so informative. I have so much respect for you and what you do..and for making this channel to help people gain an understanding. Thank you.
I just had a friend say to me (while at the cemetery of his parents and other relatives) I stand out here and think of all the money I spent that's underground. I kept my mouth shut. A month later we got into a discussion again about the cost and I lost it and said "I'm sorry but you're mother looked beautiful and it wasn't your money that buried her. It was her own money and she deserved to get a funeral she would have been proud of." End of discussion!
I'm surprised to hear he spend his Mother's money or life insurance money to buy the best for what she wanted and didn't go low grade for him to keep extra money. 🥺🤔
I understand why you dealt with them that way. I would have been also inclined. But I have a relative they some perceive as being callous in very similar situations. Turns out however, that's his defense mechanism for dealing with uncomfortable situations. I kind of get it. I think he would probably break down if he didn't make comments like that. It keeps him "tough." You know, "real men don't cry."
I really appreciate the information that you present, with honesty AND sensitivity. I was a medical social worker and I, of course saw my fair share of death. I can appreciate and understand why folks, such as yourself, may have difficulty with the idea of those who choose lowest cost options after a loved one dies. I have some thoughts on the subject. I live in California (please don’t hold that against me) and one variable out here may have to do with the fact that some people are less attached to spiritual organizations. They seem less attached to the traditional rituals of death. In my area there are many under the poverty line, and the disposition choice is centered around finances. Again I thank you for your willingness to have an honest discussion about death. God bless
Excellent questions and answers. Cute guy too. Lol. There’s a RU-vid video called Dying At Grace that follows 5 people in their last days and their actual death and care of their body at this palliative care ward. It made me feel differently about death. Also watching this channel and ask a Mortician has helped so so much. Thanks Kari.
Oh wow! I just looked up those videos and saved for later. I volunteered there on the palliative floor in the months before and in preparation for nursing school. I was hoping it was Toronto Grace Hospital. 3 decades later I still have very clear memories of certain patients who touched my heart. No coincidence I became a specialist in the field.
@@justsayin5609 I’m glad they helped. I used my BSN degree to become a hospice nurse. So rewarding. Recently I had to take medical leave due to health issues of my own. My weight is well below 90 and I can’t lift patients. I’ve chatted with u on other videos. Lol
I agree with your post. I am that person that doesn’t wants my daughter to spend that kind of money on my service. I would rather have her have that money to take care of her and my two grandsons.
My parents were exactly like that. Their instructions were "nothing crazy." Neither wanted a funeral service. Family viewing only. Entombment in the mauseleum. No flowers. No obituary. Each funeral cost about $11K. They had already paid for their tandem crypt. I don't even want that. Direct cremation for me. I'm the only one left anyway. The only problem I'll have is who gets to toss my cremains.
I really appreciate your sensitivity. I used to peruse Reddit for mortuary stories, but a majority of those stories were about extremely overweight people or suicides played up for shock value and laughs. These people clearly struggled with their mental health for a long time and nobody cared enough to check on them until it was far too late, and now these people are going to mock their death for likes on Reddit? Someone posted a photo of an actual suicide like "OMG so creepy!". I have a warped sense of humor, but when you make fun of suicides or people who've obviously slipped into such a state of depression that it ultimately killed them (as is mostly the case with extremely fat people who shut themselves in), that's when I have a hard time. I know these people think they sound edgy and cool dehumanizing these individuals for jokes, but they clearly never felt the pain and abandonment of hope these people have. I'm not suicidal but I am going through a severe depression I don't think will ever end. I have instead resorted to other self destructive tendencies like binge eating to fulfill the emptiness in my life. I'm nowhere near 500 pounds but I'm aware the way I'm living might kill me one day if I don't stop. Sorry for the tangent but I'm just happy to see you address insensitive people who don't deserve to work in the business if they can't approach it maturely.
when my great grand ma died in 2018 they wrapped her up in about 2 or 3 sheets and 3 guys carried her vary respectfully to the stretcher to be put in the funeral home van
Back in the 80's, during the beginning of the HIV crises, I was asked to train with a funeral director. It seemed like a good idea but I had two questions concerning this opportunity and the answers I received were disturbing. Question #1: During a pickup , will there always be 2 people on hand to handle the body? The answer was no."If you need help, ask a family member to help you." I thought that was quite wrong. Question #2: If the individual is HIV positive, will I be informed of this condition.? The answer was no. "Just be careful of what the hospital left behind on the body." This was a time when the HIV Virus was still evolving and we knew little of how it was transmitted. So, based on those answers I decided to stay in banking.(Which was a dumb move.)
Is it common for funeral home hold the casketed body until spring burial. My parents, I feel talked when we were in earshot, not realizing we could hear. Our precious Grandpa had passed in the night and it was a shock as he hadn’t been ill. As a teenager my Father hung out with friends who both had funeral homes in town. Half of what we heard we felt was like big brothers trying to scare their sisters. My Father grew up with the parents who owned these two funeral homes so he had seen a lot. When we overheard our parents they said if I die in the winter I want to be cremated because bodies were stored below ground in a crypt and he and his buddies had been down there. My precious Mother passed in June so she was buried and my Dad died at the end of December so he was cremated. I don’t understand why places much further north use blanket heaters on the ground so they will bury anytime. Does it come down to cemetery boards and cost, Kari. Sorry for too many words but I trust you very much. I’m seventy and getting frightened as my husband is gone so I want to make my own preferences known. Thank you as you always ease my mind.
My brother was a ward of the state and passed away from a medication interaction. The family had no idea he had passed and I happen to have a friend call me to say hey, is this your brothers obituary? It was in fact his. No one was notified of his death, he was cremated and left unclaimed for 2 years. Luckily my cousin works within a mortuary and was able to get his remains out of the storage unit he was placed in and he was eventually buried on top of my Grandmother. He lived in Ohio but ended up being taken into a West Virginia Funeral homes care. It's justl very odd to me how no family was notified and he basically was just disposed of.
Forgive me if this has already been addressed. Is it true that if the family refuses to claim the body at a morgue that the state will give them a pauper’s funeral free? What happens if a person’s ashes are unclaimed at the funeral home?
Finances of final disposition and arrangement can have a variety of circumstances. If a family is barely scraping by and someone doesn't plan for those expenses and/or dies suddenly, there simply may not be any funds available. How people feel about deceased family is as complicated as family relationships themselves. Not all family relationships are loving and caring in life, either.
I totally agree with you. When my mom passed the funeral home we had chosen their funeral coach was broke down and they said we could use a suburban or van. I told them my mother was going to have her last ride in a Cadillac or Lincoln. So I had a friend mine bring his funeral coach
I really appreciate your thoughts about a cheap cremation, no celebration of life. Originally, I thought it would be mentally easiest for my sons to have the mortuary cremate me and dispose of my cremains...maybe some more money should be set aside should they feel the need to do more. I appreciate your heart ❤ and thoughts on this.
Are police and firefighters generally helpful if needed? I recently lived for a short time in a luxury apartment. The person two floors directly above me passed away due to an overdose. My fiancé passed away less than a year prior of accidental ethanol poisoning. Our funeral homes transport bodies to the medical examiner if an autopsy is needed. The funeral home brought my neighbor down in a basically see-through body bag (I could see what he was wearing) and then placed him on the cot just as I happened to walk out. I think the funeral home was very kind in their removal, but it would have been nice as the process of investigation took several hours if the apartment complex had been considerate and told us of the impending removal as this can be tough to see. I chose not to watch my fiancé’s removal even though he was covered and on the cot. Needless to say, I broke my lease soon after.
We chose to have our son cremated. I hold him in my hand every night. It's a heart that fits perfectly. I also have a traditional urn in his school color.
So what happens when someone stops paying a funeral home, or just doesn’t pay them all together? Does the body become state “property?” And they handle it. Or when the body is already buried, and they stop paying on the funeral, then what happens?
A lot of families can't afford it. It's all very expensive especially if there's been a long illness and you get a hospital bill for hundreds of thousands of dollars
Well l can tell you that back in the older years, people who didn't plan on moving alot, those whom planned to stay in one place, would also plan to die one day, (it will come) so people bought their burial plots soon after marriage, so when time came, you had one of important piece of land bought and payed for.
Morning Kari, I decided to be cremated. Do I need to contact a local funeral home that I have paid to "Neptune Society" that this is what I have chosen because I'm alone and nobody will know that I have died?
but .. do you use a body bag so that fluids don’t spread or how do you do that if you’re in someone’s home and a person died on a second floor and there is only stairs? will fluids create a trail all the way down and out?
This question makes me think of how they got mom out of the house. She died at home in bed, tight space.. The hall way to the bedroom narrow with 3 turns.
My parents went with the cremation, because they didn't want my sister and I stuck with paying thousands of dollars neither of us have to pay for traditional funerals. But I really want a celebration of life for both at least. They deserve that at least. I'm fortunate that my parents made the choice for us. I wish my sister and I could afford better. But we are going according to our parent's wishes.
I’ll never understand why only 1 mortician is on call for a removal, especially in cases of tight spaces or obesity. Seems like a liability for the funeral home in the event of injury.
@@KaritheMortician I used to work in a facility (nursing assistant) and was always willing (and called upon) to help the funeral directors transfer a body on the cot and help them out all the way to the door where they parked. I now work in home health hospice and if something happens I make sure I am there to help as well because I always feel the family should not have to help with their loved ones in this way. The directors usually were appreciative of my help, I only had a couple say I got this, thank you anyway.
and thank you for being so respectful to us big people, it means a lot that people like you are so kind and "aware" that we are human beings just as much as anyone else... this was interesting to hear how you take care of people like this though
This may sound odd, but I would like to try being zipped into a bodybag, and lay in a casket with the lid shut(not locked, of course! I don't want to suffocate) but I DON'T want to try being buried alive! I'm not THAT curious, or stupid.
Yes, you just do the best that you can to work around things. Normally whoever calls the funeral home to report the death will give us a heads up so we can be prepared.
@@KaritheMortician Family owned business? Back in the day most were family owned. Good business to be in. Means a lot to have sympathetic caring folks to handle business.
I never could understand the concept of the cost of a funeral. The body in the coffin is no longer the person we knew and loved. It is a shell that housed the soul. But, that’s just the angle I see it from. There is so many things we have been taught growing up that is being looked at differently. Definitely changes need to be made, chains need to be broken as in same old, same old. Death sucks. I don’t believe the existence of death was in God’s plan. Food for thought.
Some of our hospice families are very poor. They reach out to us for financial assistance for their deceased loved one. If qualified, we can give them $200. I think with some it is not a matter of not caring more, but not having resources. These patients have been on hospice paid for by Medicare and/or Medicaid.
I’m sorry that is low funeral cost. I worked in a long-term hospital for a long time. Our patients were on ventilators for years. No matter what condition their bodies were in or how much they had to go through. Families would insist that they stay alive on paperThese poor people had big bedsores seeping bodies and we’re miserable some of them did not even know they were still alive. But as long as it was on paper and machines were doing the work the families Could collect their checks. I seen it over and over. It was so sad and it made me sick. No respect
Many moons ago, I volunteered, than was employed in Radiology, at a hospital in my area. My job, took me, all over the hospital. If my memory is correct, I remember looking at what looked like an engine lift. With a cradle. That was used to move large patients.
The thing about cremation vs burial is that frankly I've seen videos on embalming and I don't really want people putting plugs up my butt or popping and vacuuming out the contents out of my organs. I mean no disrespect but it's almost like dressing a turkey. And to have a viewing and a cremation I'll never understand. You go through all the expense of a funeral and burn the body anyway. I think I'd rather leave my money to my children/grandchildren.
This is too judgemental assuming a family doesn't care. because they have spent almost everything they have caring for their love one while they were sick and dying. Not every has upfront funds.
Had that been my loved one, and the funeral home was cracking jokes abt how heavy my deceased family member was, I'd have cussed them out, and see if I could bring charges against them, short of doing what ivwoukd really like 2 do....just sayin. Never said I was ever even tempered 😉😐😬
