Walking & talking - why define my sexuality to strangers? 

Charlie, hi from Becca. The answer "it's none of your business" is definitely appropriate. We have boundaries and given self love, we desire others to respect our boundaries. As I have happily transgendered, I love myself much more, and way more content being alone than I.omce was. I.am getting help in moving away from CO dependency By the way, the countryside is very scenic. You go girl !

Turn it around, ask them if they like boys or girls, what's their favorite position, how often do they do it. Let them see how it feels to be asked such personal things.

Love the outdoor vlog! I like the "none of your business" response, or maybe "I prefer people who aren't rude." At the same time, one doesn't want to seem antagonistic or hostile, so I'm not sure. Everything I am thinking of comes off sounding smart-ass: "I prefer kind, intelligent, open-minded human beings." Hmmmmmm.... gonna have to keep working on that one.

I am the same way. I am attracted to hearts and a person's personality no matter what sex or gender. by the way where you live it is so beautiful. please keep the videos coming. we love you have a great day

Me too since I was 14 yrs old. It's about people, the person. I've had random people, colleagues and students at work straight to your face!

Hello. I've just come across your channel. I'm a 56 year old hetro male and I don't judge anyone by what they are. Just by the way they are. What a difference you've become since your first video. I didn't realise the 'transition' could be so successful. You've got a great attitude and obviously a good friend base. I just want to say, all the best for your future and I hope you have a happy life.

Lovely shots of the countryside. Sheeeeeeeep! So since I'm new to the transition part myself, I'm not confronted with that situation so much as you have. But since mine is happening later in life for me, its a little easier so to speak. My answer is, I have two kids, so that's my sex life (and orientation) in a nutshell. But the reality is more complex than that, and its the company you keep I suppose, that's core to the topic. Take Care, and do more Countryside shoots, they really work.

What a beautiful countryside. Thank you for sharing it with us. Why do people ask that question? I don't think they do it out of meanness. I think they are genuinely curious, especially if the questioner is trans. They may be regarding you as a signpost, a teacher, or mentor and wonder what might be in store for them should they transition and begin HRT. As for me; I've never liked men. I feel uncomfortable around them preferring a woman's company over a man's any day. Your comment, "I really don't know right now" is entirely appropriate (whether you know or not is unimportant), but it answers the question in a non threatening way to the questioner. Please keep up the beautiful vlogs. I so enjoy you sharing your journey with is.

Hi from Portland Oregon USA, I recently just found your channel and to be Frank i I like what I have seen so far and will be looking forward to exploring these issues with you. That being said. I too have been put in the same position. I found the best answer for me is to put the ball back in the questioners court by asking them why they want to know? This enables me to further consider my response and customize it to fit my mood who I perceive them to be etc. Best of luck on your journey I know I need best wishes on mine. well done vlogs BTW. a fan called Rhonda

From strangers it’s a rude question to ask. I think preference depends more on the person who may present themself with an interest in you. I once read something like this: A key that opens many locks is a master key. A lock that is opened by many keys is a shitty lock. You, ma’am present yourself as a “master key”. You unlock the hearts of many.

I'd ask if we ran in the same social circles or had mutual friends and I was interested in dating you. In that context, it's a perfectly reasonable question to ask. I don't think its always a case of someone trying to "read" you or pin you down to making a choice on the matter-I could certainly respect a "both" or "I'm unsure" and leave it at that.

My response to questions i,m not ready to answer or that are too personal is, No comment and a nice smile.It usually works.Love your scarf.

I enjoyed you sharing your beautiful country side with us. Your walk through the fields is the kind of walk that I love to take. I love seeing pheasants in the country side. I often get the same question that your get about which gender are you attracted to. My answer is always same. Gender doesn't matter. It is the person that I am attracted to and that person is my wife. I love her dearly.

i enjoyed your walk too, as we also have such places here on Maui. i think these new location videos are refreshing. you are in your element and shine in the outdoors.now about those questions..... sexual preference is so very personal, and people being curious, i understand that deep within us all is the great need to connect, to understand, and to realize and below the surface is this deeper need in us all.. in this light i hope that the difficult questions you get may be framed with the broader insight,,,, we are all here to learn. thank you for your sharing, i learn from your journey. aloha........

I smile and say " that is a question", mystery is much more interesting then anything and its not really worth answering.

It's not about who I want in my bed, it's all about who I want in my head.

I guess I had thought you had already made the move to France, but that looks more GB'ish countryside. Regardless, it is a lovely area, with lots of nice area to be at one with nature, thats sooo true, i know only too well what you speak of when needing time to sort through things. Kudos to you for your thoughts on the preference issue, it is TOTALLY no ones business other than yours. You deserve to find someone that wiil cherish you every day of your life for the beautiful person you are, that's as hard as it needs to be. Smooches xx

I have had that question and my thought is that straight people think in binary terms: straight or gay. When they sense you are not hetero/gender normal it challenges their view of the world, but if they can put you in the 'gay' box they can go on with their lives without changing their worldview. My favourite way to answer is to ask why they want to know in a flirty way suggesting I think they want gay sex. The embarrassment they feel usually ends the discussion.

I would agree with you, that is nobody's business except yourself ! ❤️

love your outdoor vid hun, its really nice to see. also love the scarf. cis people never seem to understand our sexuality and it's usually a lot more fluid for us.

Have a great day! I too get the questions and they are only irritating to me because most of the people that ask them hardly know me and they wouldn't have asked the question if I wasn't trans so I feel you but I generally just tell them whomever treats me like the woman I am. ;) Have a nice day!

Why should you have to tell anyone about your personal life?Fantastic videos and what a lovely rural place to live. I also live in the country, it's great.Keep doing what you are doing.All the very best.

Some may ask since they, or a friend of theirs, maybe interested in dating you. That's innocent enough. Of course others r nosey, which is annoying. I clear it upfront by talking about ex-boyfriends since I like guys.

You are simply amazing. These vids too. To go from the low lows of a few vids to this one, epic. Im an unhappy cismale and at least your journey makes for vicarious living. THANKS

People tend to be obsessed with sex and sexual preference. Everything is about sex and sexual preference. The things that make us unique are on the inside - our mind, our emotions, and our spiritual being. The inside of a book is always much more interesting than its cover.

As a car person I like being on the verge of breaking traction . Setup is everything ....working hard at a line of thinking often rewards you with the opposite. Tight or loose on entry......yep ask me tomorrow the answer may be different .........

a scene out of "Der rote Baron" around 49 seconds..perfect - lol

hi :) Questions are part of anything that falls outside someone's "box"...I am intrigued by these. I have yet to hear a "rude" one, but...it shows two things, either curiosity or...a rude brick being thrown in your GENERAL direction. You...stil decide to either take the brick or...step aside by coutering with a remark or a question...or...you can ask if they're comming on to you...mak'es 'em crawl right back under their personal rock (personal experience)...LOL

These new videos are so good! Re: sexuality. I'm in exactly the same boat preference wise... but I don't really mind people asking me about it since the ones who do ask I've generally formed a level of friendship where those sorts of questions are okay. Maybe in the future I'll get annoyed at the question, but for now, it's a non issue and I'm happy to oblige. Have these types of questions always been a bit sore spot or has it developed over time as people have asked you again and again and again?

ah i needed that stroll x

Lovely countryside round your way reminds me of some of my favorite places to go and think, and fly the odd rc glider and stuff. Failing that, with the Ashdown forest on my doorstep i can walk there for hours and just get away from people. As for the sexual preference question, i've been lucky in as much as the only person to have asked me was my doctor.

you are Gorgeous. And a stunning Yung lady. I'm always lifted up by you. because your living the life. I wish I could.

Really amazing views!!!

There are times I like both, there are times I like neither !

I love England's countryside. I have to wonder what sort of people ask these kind of questions you speak of from the get go? It used to be that personal disclosures of this nature demanded a level of familiarity with one another but maybe with people baring their all on television and social media that can no longer be taken as the accepted normal. I know ciswomen receive some very obnoxious advances and as a person who presents as cismale I have had men both call me gay or ask if I was gay for no obvious reason that I can figure. All I can come up with is that there are out and about some hugely ignorant people and the best thing to do when one encounters such is to 180 and increase distance as quick as possible.

you give me the cool music teacher vibe

I think that unless you and I are attracted to each other and want to take out relationship beyond friendship, I should not care, and should not need to know. I either like you and want to hang out with you or I don't. I don't ask the people I hang out with what their sexual preference is. I don't care I just like hanging out with them.

As someone who is very early in transition all I can say at this point is that gender and sexuality are not in anyway linked. I have always identified as a straight male and now that I am transitioning I suspect I will be a lesbian but this may change. Either way as you rightly pointed out it is none of their business. The same thing seems to happen regarding surgeries. If someone knows you are trans they seem to think it is ok to ask if you still have a penis! WTF? At the end of the day we love who we love what does it matter whether they are one gender or another.

I think people are just curious because we all are sexual creatures. Some of the question is centered around their confusion about not understanding the motivation for gender reassignment surgery (GRS). The surgery purpose is confused with who we are attracted to sexually. It is seen as one step , instead of actually being two. The first, GRS, s to align the body with the mind. The concept of gender is imprinted in our brains, no matter what body (male or female) we are physically born into. GRS is an alignment process. Once that is complete, then sexual preference comes forth as the second decision. Sure, the person going through this process has sexual preference thoughts running through their head before GRS. Many persons in their transition actually know what their sexual preference is and have had dates with them. Others need the confirmation of surgery to figure that out. There is no uniform process.

i would just play with it while it is the hot topic in you re circle,me personally i think everyone is slightly bi sexual but i think you should have fun with it , since you can t get away from it; do not outwardly annoyed that might just increase the pressure for an answer ( just say

Hello Christina That didn't take long.Where's all the cheese.You do look good out and about.And the country side in the UK is very green.My wife watches a lot of escape to the country and other English lifestyle shows.My side of the family come from around cornwall on the Irish sea side.Tin Miners.I cop the sexual preference Q a lot to,I just say boys.But it does suck when they wouldn't ask a CIS gendered girl the same stuff.But they think we are fair game to ask.Also , think seeing that

If you build it, he will come...

looks nice where ever that is. is it the cotswolds?

Looks so pretty there! *_*

Doesn't matter if you're a man or a woman, the answer should be the same... It's not their business !!! You don't Have to justify yourself to anybody. Why do they care anyway.,, are they interrested ??? 😄😄😄

I miss the old Charlie. Please, vlog more!

Lovely, everything 🌞

How can I reconcile the belief that gender is a social construct and still support the trans movement? I believe, as do many other feminists, that gender is a social construct. I do not believe in "brain sex" and I believe these neurological differences come from different ways little boys and little girls are typically raised. I believe that a post-gender world is possible one day and that certain roles, activities, and clothing are not inherently gendered. I do believe that gender roles are deeply ingrained within our society, though, and therefore I understand they are real in present contexts. I understand that trans people face patriarchal pressures to be either masculine or feminine in typical ways as well. I have been told that believing that gender is not innate, that gender is a social construct, is a transphobic belief. I consider myself an intersectional feminist and want to be supportive of the trans movement. How can I reconcile my beliefs about gender and my desire to be intersectional? Whenever I research trans issues I feel like my beliefs about gender would be horribly insulting to a trans person who feels that gender is innate. Can you clear up the confusion for me? Agian in do not wish to be insulting.

I am trans female like your self and some people are rude one wanted to speck in my male voice and told them I can't which is true .but I would have told them it's none of your business .

Will you got to expect something because you put yourself out there if you just forget the past and just be who you are now and just continue your life the way you want things will fall into place it doesn't matter what other people think it's what you Think that counts just be yourself that's why I love you👍🏁🏁💃🏾🏁🏁🏁💋💋💋❤️💍

Would you class yourself as fluid?

Lol, I see you have a sense of humour. I would say that if you are getting these questions right at the start of dating, like first date, then that person knows that you are trans and he or she is being rude. Now, if I was to date you I wouldn't ask that question until I was sure (!) you were trans,and I do not trust gossip so I would wait for you to say something. This is personal so I would not start the attack but wait until you are comfortable enough to tell me. (2) wait until we have dated more than 3-4-5 times. Until I was certain we were going to be more than friends, and if just friends I would not ask you, but if you told me as a friend then it would be confidential and would only be spoken about at your request. I guess what I am trying to say, as friends I have no right to ask about you status and if and when you confide in me then to let you ask me for my input.I hope this muddies the water somewhat. lol

Bugger my comment got lost.Also my account has gone missing after my PC update.Lets see if this comes thru as Emily Cooper.Right,I must say you look good rambling around the English countryside,and yes I cop the same question sometimes-I just say boys,I think that's what their after.They are Cis Gendered after all and don't understand. The country looks nice,my wife watches English lifestyle shows ,escape to the country etc.(Yes I'm still married).We,as a group went out to trans thai night last wednesday,we have a good time.Do you have the same avenue over there to catch up with other trans people.I do find myself being drawn toward nice guys occasionally,and I have to mentally stop myself gravitating to them.Chat again on your next Vid.Emily OZ

"I'm sapiosexual," if I'm feeling creative. Usually, it's aversion.

You are asking what we would say. Yes it is a rude question. Having drinks and talking...I'm sorry that's a very personal question...I don't wish to answer...I'll leave it as a bit of a mystery for you.

Sheep don't care if you're trans or your sexual preference. But people are nosy and being that you are still viewed as "exceptional" in our not yet progressive enough culture, that rude question will pop up from time to time. If it wasn't obvious from looking at you that you were already with someone and what sex that person was then how would I know if it was worthwhile or not to approach you if I were interested in you....?? It's exceptionally rude to put you on the spot at a dinner or party (and maybe tells you that you are in the wrong group of people) but not so awkward when a one on one situation occurs.

It’s nobody’s business

Tell them to mind their own business. :-)

You're very attractive

I think that you should reply: Are you so small minded and incredibly inconsiderate that you need to try to define everything and put it all into little categories and boxes in your mind? furthermore are you so insecure with your own sexuality that you try to put others on the spot and make them feel uncomfortable with themselves as you are working yourself? I know that you probably have not considered others privacy as important because if you did you would not be so rude as to bring those things up in the first place. and then leave them with a cliff hanger such as: defining your sexuality and sexual preferences is like categorizing people from generation to generation when in truth people are born at every single minute of every single day and the same goes for deaths. we are not definable in such a small minded way. and end it with mental & verbal smackdown such as: if you want to talk to (us) like a grown up and ask questions that matter then I would be happy to answer relevant questions so long as I desire to share the answers with you. (it sounds like you were hanging out with someone who was not really a friend. thank you for the wonderful video and I have been put in that spot as well, I also didn't respond as I should have done but here's to next time) sincerely JJ.

You are very beautiful lady love you

I'd like to think you prefer men, but then I guess I'm prejudiced

I love the countryside it's just as beautiful as you are if not breathtaking I love to listen to your conversations you're always hypnotizes me Bella, I would love to walk with you anytime😘😘😘🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹💋💋💋💋💋💍🏁🏁🏁🏁🍓🍓

sexuality is confusing, and hormones dont help with the emotions