True. My parents divorced at 11…my mother pulled this shit on my dad - it devastated and messed me up for years…and I held a grudge against my mother for what we all went through. Now…28 years into my marriage and it’s happening to me - we have a 6 year old daughter that’s going to have to go through this…cause mommy isn’t happy and wants to “find herself”. Marriage seems like a bad joke to me…and I can’t recommend it to others men. This is all too common…and most marriages end in divorce at the hands of the woman. The “funny thing” here is…as a young man I played guitar and dreamed about being in a band - becoming a professional musician…then we got together - after 2 years together she got “pre-cervical cancer”…and her dr told her if she wanted to have kids…to do it now - cause she might not be able to later. At 19 I had my son and my dreams went away. I love my kids and don’t regret having them…but my life has been all about family since - I don’t even have any ‘good friends’ now…and now she wants to find herself while I’m left with taking care of our 6 year old daughter…because she pretty much abandoned motherhood as well. She is all about herself now…she doesn’t clean the house (not even cleaning up after herself). If I don’t spend hours on the weekend cleaning the house it will be a complete disaster. She does nothing but spend 8-10 hours a day on social media before going to her pole dancing class 4 nights a week - rinse and repeat daily.
Women will sacrifice their wants to get the guy to like them and guys will do the same to get women to like them. Problem is that the last sacrifice for women to give is a stable marriage whilst for a man it's a stable sex life. Hence when women chase men the guys get more stable sex and when guys chase women they get as stable marriage. Best case is for both to chase each other and the worst is to not chase each other
I see you met my wife. :) Her doctor diagnosed that with 'anxiety'. 20-doctors later since 1988 sold supplements, but that did not help anyone. Doctors that she consulted wanted to sell 'supplements'.
just like my ex wife and me. yet i found mine again . Just to seem to lose it again with my current wife after enduring a sexless marriage with her the last two year s
My husband shared one of your videos with me. I understood it better, most probably because a woman was explaining it. Then I read the comments from other men, and that was heartbreaking. I do not want my husband to feel like those men. I am willing to fight for my marriage. We've been married for 16 years, I don't want to look back in another 16 years and wonder why he finally left. Thank-you. You are helping us, even if it's 2% of us willing to learn ❤
You have our loving support. Most of us know that we're not familiar with the demons you women fight. We have our own demons and they are manageable if we have our wives supporting us!
Good for you I respect you very much for "listening" what he is trying to communicate. And yes it can be wise to read other comments just open your mind and start an open conversation on the topics. Listening and hearing what he attemps to say. Just imagine how a mother would have all ears for her child. Full attention and no blame nor being submissive. just adult behavior.
@@michaelperkins1878 You have got to man-up in order to be heard. It won't help you if you let somebody else do the work for you. Besides that you put yourself outside the equation you also loose respect!
That makes sense about women being wrong. 3 days into my marriage my wife told me she was always going to be right; even when she's wrong. I thought she was joking. Over the years I learned she wasn't joking
It's not just your wife. I'm 52 and this has mysteriously been a female entitlement as far back as I can recall. And we as men are just suppose to grin and bear it, as if this a rational expectation. "Happy wife happy life." "Yes dear, whatever you say." "What's mine is yours and what's yours is yours." For years I played along. Not anymore. This bizarre infantilizing of women who are simultaneously expected to be treated as adults, or even more laughable "strong independent boss Bs," is epic, absurd, female toxicity. Men predominantly build and maintain the world and society that enables women to pretend they don't need them. They've riden the idea of being Queens and Goddesses into the bozone, largely because we've allowed them by enabling them to extend their adolescence into adulthood and by normalizing their dark triad traits. Women have in general exploited our natural masculine hardwiring to both of our detriments. As "good men," who sincerely enjoy providing and protecting, who genuinely find joy in the prosperity of our partners, we're discovering ourselves twisted into knots in a futile attempt to be better men. To be sure, we should all as men conquer our own weaknesses and become the kings we were born to be. But, it can not be based on the validation of women. In fact, must stop making women our purpose in life, or the litmus test for our identity as men. We must create space and boundaries for women to become the queen's they imagine themselves to be.
Honestly, I never really did a sit dow “hard conversation”. I like to listen to her talk and just bring up a point when my wife does something particularly bad. Bring it up a few hours later when things settle down.
After years of toxic behavior from my wife and the constant emasculation, I don't know if I can 'right' this ship. I'm very depressed about how I allowed it to happen. Ashamed.
You're not alone! First and foremost, you're not crazy and while you may have contributed to how things are I doubt you did it intentionally. It is shameful how we have gone along with this but it's not something we did on purpose. Take accountability for your actions and better yourself. You are valuable and you are important!
Allow me to tell you you are not alone. We all have put up with crap in the name of being good husbands and men. Ill give you the same advice someone gave me: work on yourself and watch how fast things change.
It’s never too late to change yourself. You won’t get anywhere trying to change her. Focus on you and your children if you have them. Get into the gym. Hang out with your friends. Volunteer somewhere. Take your focus off her. Ignoring a woman is a great way to get her attention lol and that’s coming from me a woman 😅
If you suddenly start working to do more to improve your mental and physical health by walking, going to the gym, spending time with friends doing positive things, you will feel better and look better. When that starts to happen, she will notice. When you start to embrace life for you, she will not understand at first, but you taking charge in your own life will give you better morale. Don't say anything, just do it. If she wants to know where you are going, be honest but don't ask or even seem like you are asking for her approval. You don't need it just to start working on improving you.
My wife went to University and studied a Bachelor of Arts (communications and 'women's studies), now works in Human Resources...believes in 'equality of outcome ' as opposed to equality of opportunity ...her job, and the validation that she draws from it ,matter more than our marriage. After years of challenging her on her with holding tactics, I insisted that she watch your content. I copped the whole package deal. Gaslighting, stonewalling, projection, denial, derision and constant disrespectful eye rolling.. I told her to pack her bags, and go and live with her elderly father.. Divorce is in progress, and it can't come soon enough! Modern progressive feminism is pernicious and corrosive.
If she thinks shes going to get anything from you, tell her you're going to use all of the money that she hopes to get and you're using it to hire the most vicious lawyer you can find on this side of the hemisphere. And then act on it. Make her life a living hell so she gets nothing.
Hey, guess what else HR believes in? I went to them over a company literally charging people en-masse before checking who bought a given product, and doing so because they didn't trust their employees to apply the charges in the first place, but NOW . . . they "trust" them to find out who shouldn't have been charged, and take it off? Needless to say, I was seeing false stuff left and right, and NEEDLESS TO SAY, HR said that's fine.
If I send your videos to my ex, I will be arrested for harassment. She will destroy her new husband the way I was wrecked. I can't interfere. I could send your videos to my kids, but we have been estranged for 10 years. Now I understand what happened to me in 2009. Your videos helped set me free from self doubt. Thank you for having the courage to help us good men.
This woman is the smartest woman I have ever heard, its a shame that she’s like all who are in the business of internet marketing and cost more than most can pay and unreachable. She does have the problem addressed and if one is lucky enough to find a counselor that is not in it for the money and truly cares and will talk with you for $150 an hour in the Bidenomic era court yourself lucky
She is also going to say something like ´ you could have said it in a nicer/better way´ Nope. In my experience this is the last defence they have to deny truth.
I call it violating the script. Which is what telenovelas and romance novels get right. Men can say wonderful things but if they aren't well scripted a woman will say it was how you said it and not what you said.
This is why when talking to women you cannot be trash or speak your mind. You talk more with your vibe than with your words. Women's first language is body language and your aura. Words are a foreign language to them.
Same here, she has threatened divorce, taken her wedding ring off so many times. I took my wedding ring off for the first time since we got married recently. I have no idea where it is, I don't care now I just want to get on with my life without her.
yeah, some times the worst thing what can happen is what one wishes. I divorced a few years ago, it was the 2nd best decision of my life. 1st was to have children.
I am a woman I am not married but i am watching your videos 🙂 I just want to educate myself about the mans. I am 24 years old soon 25 but i’ve never have been in a relationship. i have one brother 8 years older than me and we don’t talk about the female and male role and place in the relationship. What to do and not do. What men needs etc… I LOVE YOUR VIDEOS! Like we say in french « Continue comme ça ! » 🇫🇷✨ Thank you ! ☺️
Well.. if you are who you say you are... I can tell you... you have thousands of us cheering for you... Don't take your future husband for granted... don't put him in a position to beg to be with you... don't destroy his selfsteem.. talk to him.. become best friends... lovers.. partners in crime... I keep hearing the same story over and over.. Ladies forget about us.. we "are all equal"... all "men want is sex"... when the truth is that we need to feel the love... to be love..
I see that I'm not the only French to enjoy this channel hehe. I'm 53 and I would have loved to listen to Karen when I was 24. It would have saved me a lot of problems...
@@CarlosAndresR Thank you for the advices, i takes notes 🤭 The men around me don’t talks is that the problem for me. They are the only men i am talking to and they are firm on certains subjects. They tell me all day « did you have a boyfriend? » But for me i am learning, i educate myself about the men what they are thinking etc.. what to not do. They don’t tell me nothing so I am happy to finding this RU-vid channel ! I am learning to love myself and stay on my feminine side too, because i hear that if i am masculine men will feels feminine etc… Thank you so much ✨
@@Jetsetbob3 Ah je suis contente de ne pas être la seule, mais je pense qu’il y a d’autres français! Je vous comprends parfaitement, vous devez vous dire que ça aurait pu améliorer quelques situations sûrement. Je suis bien heureuse de voir ces vidéos à l’âge de 24 ans. Mais sachez il n’est jamais trop tard pour apprendre Je les envoie même à ma grande sœur qui a eu des relations amoureuses avec des hommes pour qu’elle comprenne car elle est un peu dans le « Men are trash » et ne se remet pas en question haha :D
You can do it! Prepare yourself and don't stop working on yourself. Thank you for your comment, it's reassuring to see women acknowledge what Karyn is talking about.
Im a 51 year old male, and i LOVE you're videos. You are right on the money about how us guys are feeling. On a funny note, ....the first time i showed my wife youre videos, it was like reading the Bible to a person possessedby a demon. Lol . She knew what you were saying was accurate, but it sure made her squirm. Lol. Now every time she gets ornery with me, i put on one of your videos and turn up the volume. But, on a serious note , your Advice helps me reassure myself that im not constantly doing the wrong things. Thank you maam
Yea, I've spent years watching these type of videos. Reading all the books. Trying to share what I've learned. It took years of showing my husband I care to try and learn how to respect him and want him to lead, for him to start seeing where I was coming from on the problems I see in our marriage. But I can tell you it does take two to destroy a marriage. And none of us are taught how to treat the opposite sex. We were brought up in broken families, so of course we create broken marriages. We all need to learn new tools on how to deal with the differences between men and women, and how those differences should compliment each other, instead of tearing us apart.
She's a keeper! Nobody is perfect, but having a spouse who is willing to take accountability for their role and is prepared to roll up their sleeves and put in the work is someone you can make progress with and move mountains! Respect to both of you!🙏🏾
6 months ago I came across your video about the 10 emasculating behaviors that wives subject their husbands to. I showed that video to my wife. No response for several weeks. When I asked her about it she was VERY defensive...AND...she said her FRIENDS/family she showed it to were ALSO put off. I questioned if we were talking about the same video. As we moved into couples therapy, I used the points made in a number of your videos trying to make her understand why the content resonates. Fast forward to this past week when I visited my personal therapist. I recently changed to a therapist who was our couples therapist 2 years ago. He commented on the positive change he sees in me compared to back then. Thanks in no small part to your video content, I feel better equipped to articulate what I'm experiencing instead of constantly being outmanuevered conversationally by my wife. Thanks for giving me the tools to better stand up for myself and become an even better man. 😊
Unhealed women are MASTERS of sign language. Shame, insult, guilt, and the need to be right. Stand in your masculine frame, MEN. Do not allow her to use these tactics against you. Call it out, the moment you notice it. How she responds, will tell you exactly what kind of person she is. She’ll either respect you for standing up for yourself, or she’ll have a temper tantrum. If she has a tantrum, exit the conversation until she can speak to you calmly. She does NOT get to abuse you like that.
Appreciate your videos. We are living as roommates. She doesn’t know if she wants the marriage anymore. Won’t go to counseling with me. Two years left. Our last of four kids will be 18. Been sexless for years. I’ve kicked up my hobbies and are finishing doing some remodeling around the house.only God knows which way this will go. He will prepare my heart.
Guys don't gave up! I was trouped in my marriage for the last 30 years. I fund this channel by accident or may be by destiny. I was so terrify to tell my wife about it, so about 2 moths ago I started to send her a links to watch with out any of my comments. Her initial reaction was like volcano explosion, I almost cry, I though that I lost not only the battle but entire "war". I continue to send her new episodes - and nothing was changing not even discussion about the issue. Over 2 weeks ago she started heated arguments against me, my only response was. " did you even watch any episode of Happy wife witch I send it to you ? " she said " I am not going to listen this st...d women" I yelled back " if you will care about me you will watch". Them in the anger she grab her phone and yelled " I will watch" She started to listen, I was terrified. Any moment I was expecting her to quit. Them something amazing happened, she listen entire 1 hour episode with out any comments, them was a silence. The next day things started to slowly change. Guys don't gave up!
Good on you, I feel so proud of you for making the effort and not giving up. I just came across this TED-X youTube film MEETING THE ENEMY A feminist comes to terms with the Men's Rights movement | Cassie Jaye | TEDxMarin - A remarkle woman that aknowledged her own bias. Worthwile to have a look at.
What does this mean? About love, fidelity and marital honesty? Is it about contempt, arrogance and the certainty that he has power over you?So why are you with her? What does it bring to your life? Stress? Low self-esteem. Who should dispose of your money? COME ON? I lived in such a marriage for 25 years. Believe me, it's not worth it. I wasted my life
I would have booked myself a lovely weekend in an exotic place and started packing my bag, don't say anything just do it. Leave the Cobra alone to think about what she did.
Karen, Your Happy Wife School should be a Required course in EVERY school in this country!!!!!!!1!!!1 It's been years since I've received this kind of validation. When my marriage ended in divorce, I was left asking myself, "Am I crazy?" When I watch your blog, it's rare that I am NOT reduced to tears. THANK GOD for you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My wife watched enough to state "you were just blaming women for everything". BUT, she has been behaving as if some of your message connected. This occurred after I explained the "you're not 100% of the problem part, and that we don't even have some of the problems covered, and I'm not even trying to fix any problems. The point is that this lady gets how all of this, mainly disinterest in sex, makes me feel and that how I feel affects how I act. She also explains it better than I could have. My 25 year old daughter caught a slight whiff of the discussions and walked in on me watching a vid of yours that I called "therapy". She wrote me a list of sites she uses as therapy. I discovered your channel while my wife was on a cruise to the Bahamas with a group of women she barely knows. I think my daughter, who still lives with us, was eavesdropping on my binging your videos. She even seems more empathetic towards my plight, now. I probably shouldn't have started out with "Withholding Sex is Abuse" but hey that's where I started. Wifey went back to your first video and spent part of a weekend afternoon watching an unknown amount of your videos. We had a 2 minute somewhat heated discussion about your channel and it was over. As said though, she has been acting like she agreed with some part of some of it somewhere.
@@johnnygood4831 yeah I'm aware that it's suboptimal, Johnny. I exaggerated that slightly. She barely knew half of the cruisers. A co-worker and her Sister were in the group. 4 "new friends".
You hit the nail on the head there when you said 'I forgive things really quickly'. This is what myself and my wife have been going through for our entire relationship. She cannot forgive, she holds grudges. Her whole family is like this they all hate each other.
@@CDRFINANCE I've been planning for years. I can't afford to divorce without making myself homeless. Every year after taxes are done, I recalculate the alimony formulas based on our incomes. Someday I hope I can get out but it won't be soon.
@LazyH1984 move to some other country and start a new life even if u have to ditch your citizenship to get rid of alimony and sh*ts. Or move to Indonesia or Malaysia, convert to Muslim and merry 2 or 3 without fear of losing wealth and alimony bla bla...
I wish your videos had existed 30 yrs ago. Decades of dealing with a zero accountability woman only to lose half of everything I worked for. It's still good to understand and get clarity of what happened to my life. So so good to be free of her.
My spouse said I wasn't a good man after sharing the first video (last fall, OCT I think it was). I shared it with my spouse and our children. I only heard how positive Karyn was and how she emphasized accountability. I felt it was good for all of us. I didn't even realize she said the word emasculation and had to watch it again. Upon watching that video a second time and hearing how she talked about emasculation and looked up the definition I realized that I am regularly emasculated. I always just blew it off and never thought twice about it. But have pointed out each time my spouse emasculates me and of course it seems like a terrible idea because she blows up but over 6 months since that first video I'm starting to see improvement. It could also be perimenopause that means it's not over.
It is astonishing that a woman *who is married* would tell *her husband* that he is not a good man. This is an abusive, emasculating, and non-acccountability-taking human being, here. Let’s just be totally clear about that
No child should ever be separated from their father, and no father should ever be separated from their child. This is my Saturday without my son, and it's nothing more than continued enabled emotional abuse.
Been there done that.. I suffered for 3 years before the divorce because I knew I won't be able to Kiss my girls every night... I didn't know how hard the other parent would make it for me to be able to talk to them... At the beginning I had to call up to 40 times from 7 pm until 9 pm so i was able to talk to them. They know they can hurt you profoundly by not letting you talk to them or make it very hard. After 5 years it has gotten better but whenever they get upset with you... they take away your access to their watches... because that way you won't know where they are... It is terrible... painful.. exhausting... I keep calling because the little ones are my life and nothing will deter me from doing so... But all this stuff is completely unnecessary.
@CarlosAndresR Absolutely. We never give up the fight for our children and people say "hire a lawyer, you have to document everything, blah blah blah blah" Or...... let's have fathers be allowed to be fathers. I'm not a crime scene investigator, I don't want the mother behind bars, I don't wish any ill will towards my son's mother.... just want to spend precious time with my son. The courts enable us to be literally treated criminals, or that we've done something wrong, just for being a father.
I can't tell you how many tears this has brought me.. The psychological abuse is terrible... That happens to us because we are good men.. if we were the opposite.. they would never dear to try... The thing that calms me down is that I have been teaching my girls about critical thinking... logic.. analyze.. don't believe everything they hear ... generally speaking... and that has helped them out a lot.. Now they are growing up... I tell them.. control is an illusion.. you can only control what you think... what you do and how you react... Learn.. breathe.. keep your heads up.. and don't let anyone insult your intelligence.. But I would have preferred not to have to talk to them at this level... their childhood should have been protected. I wish you the best with your little one and keep building those ties.. based on facts.. logic.. analysis.. Sooner or later he will be old enough to see through people stories and he will know who you were... who you are... and who you will always be... Love love and more love.
@CarlosAndresR I'm happy to hear how similar our situations were/are. I have said the same thing about my son... his childhood was completely robbed from him with all the yanked over here, yanked over there, now you are in daycare, now you are at a babysitters, and now you are enrolled in school all because the mother just couldn't possibly lower her pride and let you stay at daddy's warm calm relaxed home. My son is now 4 years old, and he brings the logic and analysis to me.... "Momma tells me you are a bad person because you play video games with me.... but Tyler does nothing but play video games with me and she doesn't get mad at him about it. That's not fair to you, daddy" Plus the fact that he knows I study school books with him, taught him his alphabet, taught him his numbers, and we are working together on him learning to read. Yeah 🙄 all I do is play video games with my son 🙄 I just tell him "Son, I am never going to lie to you, you are already figuring it out. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty because you love me." *I could share 1,000 more examples, but this was the most recent
The first rule of the Fight Club is: "You do not talk about Fight Club." That is to your gf, fiancee, wife, etc. Just OBSERVE and watch her ACTIONS rather than her words alone.
@@andries1704 The quote/saying comes from the movie Fight Club (1999) rating: 8.8/10. An amazing movie. This saying refers to "the need to keep some group or piece of information a secret" (Free Dictionary). Translation: Instead of blabbing out, you tell them you can't talk about it. So, in this context, if a man goes telling his woman that our "The Happy Wife School" told something about something about women's nature, it would be unwise as in shooting himself in the foot rather than observe if our Happy Wife's wise words correspond to your woman's behaviors, attitudes, and actions.
@@asolaris6470 Thanks now it makes sense to me. And yes you never let somebody else speak for you if "the Happy Wife school" made you aware of something you don't hide behind that but speak for yourself.
@@andries1704 Observation is the key. While actions speak louder than words apply to everyone, in this context, watch what she does from what she says.
The 33rd minute is priceless. I refused to even observe my wifes tantrum. I let her personalities have that argument. When she came at me about it. I said i dont know if anything she says is correct except for the way these issues make me feel and shes dead spot-on in that regard. I added that my feelings had import to me even if they didnt to her. She untriggered herself and came partway around at least.
Thank you Karen for what you're teaching we are married 16 years and as I look back I can see the emasculation starting probably around 4 or 5 years in I shared a few videos with my wife and there's some things that she didn't like about what you said she didn't like that you said all women are such a way she asked me about if I think all women are that way and I made the mistake of saying I was never married to all women so I wouldn't know what did that piss her off anyway she is open to watching more and I really appreciate what you're teaching I've been watching your videos for the last month and I have really been encouraged that our marriage can be and can be saved. We had just went through a time where she refused sex 7 month she refused to allow me to see her body and had refused to allow me to feel her body for The first three of those seven month . I really appreciate what you teach and it has tremendously encouraged me
You cant, no woman wants to know she is wrong, there is no good way to share these videos. Even if she found them on her own she would not listen unless forced. The only time people learn is when some form of pain is involved, by then it is to late for most.
How many woman do you really know that you can say that with so much conviction. There might be no good way for her but you only bear in mind a good way for you. Insecurity makes them hesitate to watch afraid they may be abandoned. Create a safe space. Send an E-mail with the link and a big intro where you explain your intend and what you like to shere with her. You might be astonished.
I wish someone would have send me this earlier. I found it myself. I would’ve been grateful to my man if he would’ve send me this. I asked myself so many times why they can’t put in words why they feel so hurt and offended. Only found this to explain it. Thank God and Universe I did. 🕊️
Not true. Even some of the men are saying it has worked. Many women or at least some still want to do the work to better their marriage... not all of us are ok with destroying the marriage and our men.
What an excellent video. After 5 years of discouragement in not seeing a productive way to build and repair my marriage, this practical and factual information gives so much hope. Thank you and God bless this work.
I like your videos, you are a good lady. Your videos help confirm why I have been intentionally single for 26 years and will be till my demise. Keep up the great work! We need more ladies like you.
I should have watched this one first. We were making progress, but I was impatient. I still had work to do on myself. I was in no position to have a rational, hard conversation when I sent the first one. She watched it and was ready to talk, albeit defensively. I was angry and ambushed her and I set our progress back by several weeks, maybe longer. There is a process that takes time, and it can't be rushed. It took years to get to this point in your lives. Don't expect them to change overnight. That's not reasonable. If your conversation starts to escalate, back up and collect your thoughts before you say something you don't mean, even if she is doing that. She's going to respond like a wounded animal (which is exactly where I was when I sent the first one). You don't have to break her to make her see. It just takes time. If she's really insecure, she's operating in everyday life just barely below the panic level. She can't see the same reality you see through her anxiety. Frankly, guys, you can't see the same reality through your anxiety either, so don't try to have this conversation when you're not thinking very clearly. Lessons learned.
Very well said and thank you for sharing your experience. By sharing we allow others to educate themselves. Don't expect to change overnight what has grown wrong in the past years. One has to create a safe environment to be able to learn, anxiety narrows the mind. Giving space is a sign of trust that you believe in a good outcome.
And one key component for her to open to these videos is acknowledging your own faults as well. Some of us do want our marriage to work and learn to respect and support our husband's in the way they need. Many of us were not taught to respect the men in our lives. Society has destroyed God's order in marriage.
It’s funny how I’m not nice enough to be heard after being nice about being emasculated is how we got here….its not the truth it’s there truth. As if there is different truths. Let them be alone that’s what they have always feared and so shall they get. Can’t share truth and light with the delusional. Funny when they say you’re not nice enough when all they wanted was a bad boy. The bait and switch, can’t wait to be divorced just so I know what’s real again. Bless you though……for some it may not be too late
Yep, there is one truth and we are all called to seek it or remain blind, kudos to you for leaving her alone, I have done likewise with ex wife and now all women, still open to a unicorn dropping in my lap, experience morphing into indifference is key to breaking the spell called woman.
I’ve been watching your videos and they have been helpful. I recently had packed my bags and was ready to leave. I wasn’t sure if I should share your videos with my wife but I sat her down and had a conversation about much of the themes of your videos. She was super upset and tried to turn it around on me and said she felt attacked (made it about her). I’ve given her some space and she seems to be making an honest effort to do better. I still plan on sharing your videos with her at some point. Right now it’s helpful to me, so thank you.
Man its quite sad how entitled women have gotten to the point.. some are just 24/7 ready to fight about everything that they get offended when their husbands ask them to watch the material on this channel. So many women walk around believing they are never wrong and always right & perfect. Humble yourselves already ladies not everything is a war especially in your home!
I cant even begin to thank you enough for your videos. I had held off for 2 years before I finally showed my wife your stuff. . I started 3 years ago trying to repair my marriage to my wife when my youngest daughter graduated from high school. I through caution to the wind and started writing her letters to about everything she does to me and how I feel about us and want I want us to be. She did not understand anything and denied doing anything and evrything that I explained what she was doing to me/us. I recently went on a 3 day get away with a buddy of mine to a car show and before I left her I copied 10 specific videos and begged her to watch these videos. I said when I get back we will talk about them . I was ready to leave/divorce her at 62 years old and 32 years of marriage if she did not do what I asked of her. When I got back from my trip and it was like I had a different wife. She connected with you at some level and understood what she had been doing to me. At this point I think you saved my marriage which is what I have been trying to do for three years. God Bless you for you work ....It is making a huge difference. You have helped me /us so much.
I would never share this with my wife, even though these videos are perfect descriptions of my marriage. She needs self discovery and not by my suggestions. Giving her suggestions would give her more power over the idea that I suggest she change. I believe that most women don't like to be told they need to change, specifically my wife and I don't like to tell people they need to change. I'm 18 years into my marriage and after about 3 years in it started to take a nose dive. I love my wife dearly but my marriage is almost like having a buddy as a room mate, yes it sucks and I desire nothing more than to have a loving relationship with my wife but I don't see it being possible unless she discovers it on her own. I would like nothing more than for her to find your channel on her own accord. Thank you for all the videos and wonderful insights that you provide. It's funny how you tube algorithm suggested your channel when all I watch is politics and hunting😂
Throw her in the deep water. when in the air, scream out "swim or drown !!" Two men did this to me when I was a kid of seven . Learning to swim is the easy part. Untying the burlap sack from inside of it was the hardest for me !!!
@thesacrificialsimp7165 some people just don't want to swim. I can understand, I learned to swim while working for the military. I made it through the BSA program without getting the swimming merit badge. I learned to swim as an adult because I had to.
why do men acquiesce with "cheaper to keep her" peace and time are both unpurchasable for any amount, how can the sunk cost even be justified, beside staying for the children, there is no excuse.
It’s a guy’s way to excuse his own cowardliness. He knows that he is getting a raw deal but doesn’t want to deal with the unknown that comes with a strong response.
Someone referred me to your videos and I’ve been searching for your definition of a good man. I want to say that my soon to be ex-partner, not married, after 25 years is not a bad man, but he is certainly none of those descriptions you mentioned of a good man. if he had even half those traits,, I would not be leaving. He is selfish immature and was insulted at being called the breadwinner. He spent the first 10 years going to the pub and being hung over every weekend while I looked after the kids, he never made me feel important, and resisted change and growth, so I have left him behind mentally emotionally, and soon to be physically. I am leaving for myself. I am not leaving for another man, all I want is my peace and to make my own decisions. I hope your Videos help those women who have a good man and can’t see it, and hopefully I will find one one-day ❤️
It should not be a man’s job to “handle” his woman. She is not luggage. A real woman never needs her man to make her do what she should already be doing. A man’s leadership is not meant to replace your own leadership of yourself. In the military, privates follow, yes, but they lead themselves too. They clean their weapons, they make their own bed. They are personally responsible for their own sphere, and when they break down, the unit breaks down. Marriage is the same. As is business. This is why these same problems appear in all places, because the women are slacking, everywhere.
No, marriage is not like the military; and your wife is not your subordinate. If you keep expecting otherwise, no wonder marriage hasn’t worked well for you!
Once when I was pregnant, my husband offered to get us dinner. I explained that the only food I had kept down that week was an Arby's roast beef sandwich (I had severe morning sickness plus worked a Full time job). He left the house, returned a long time later, slamming the door and screaming in my face, throwing the bag at my head... so few moments in my marriage that I was cherished!
Yea men need to also take a look at how they treat their spouse. None of us were taught to be in a healthy relationship. We grow up in broken homes, we go on to create broken homes. We are taught to hate the opposite sex, bring that mindset into the marriage without even realizing it, and so of course most marriages end. No one is taught the proper way to love the opposite sex. @@JenniferG-jm4rh
“Putting it back on me” you said. I call that, “Flipping the Script” I’ve lost years of my life and lost a fortune that I would have gladly spent in her. Oh well. Controlling and emasculating me cost her everything. It cost me a fortune in money to do it her way. I’ve tried to give her an easy life. She makes it hard. Time is running out. Too many years in this depression. I’ve been trying to dig myself out the hole I allowed her to
@cedar There's a big difference between nice guys and good guys. Nice guys are simp..are cordial to a point, easily manipulated, walking mat. Good Men are men of value and would not tolerate such abuse. Proactive in how they feel and are Assertive, not aggressive in their way of confrontations.
Nice ALWAYS meant gentlemen. So no, there is no difference between a nice guy and a good guy. He's a gentleman in every sense. Don't go talking about wimps and falsely. calling them nice guys. That has never been true. it's nonsense and it's a part of the overall problem in discussion about who the high quality people are.
I love your videos. Writing from Germany, I must say, many American women’s attitude of feminism and marriage becomes a topic in Europe. And for this video, we are pretty much on par. I have seen many couples and especially my own relationship, where there is no way of sharing your great insights and getting aligned to work on a resolution. How you described a possible reaction pattern is on point was I was told and experienced myself. In almost 25 years of marriage I never have won an argue. Although mi wife has an ever growing list of resentments and critiques for me ready to confront me when needed. So there are no plans, to show her any of your contributions while I secretly awaiting your next one.
I need to do a little bit more work on myself before I have that serious conversation with my wife. I have lost weight, joined a mens group, gettin coaching and getting boundaries set up again. I am also know no matter what happens I am always okay.
My wife thanks me all the time for finding your videos and sharing them with her we both watch on our own and share what we think about each topic . We both get so much out of them
This sounds like she was waiting for you to make some moves that she was not satisfied with how things were going. She may well have been content that you were trying to improve your relationship. Good for you both that you found common ground to talk about.
Yea sometime the key is when the man is the one trying to fix the relationship, it shows he cares. In my experience many men would scoff at the fact they may need to be understanding that they also have a role to play. The biggest role is to lead. Women deep down want a man that will loving lead. Not aggressively.... and like many of the men say... it will not be over night. It will take time.
2% 😂 To be fair, I think we have to remember here that even the vast majority of “good” men in this position have constructed a very low to zero attraction relationship for years if not decades on end. When there’s been zero emotional intimacy for years, no wife is going to be interested in taking the first step towards change. It starts with the man (very patiently and consistently) first leading the relationship back to polarity.
I am always questioning if I am a good man, somedays I feel like I am and other I do not... Usually days where my wife tells me how cruel, evil and a bad person I am. She will always say that it is up to me to change and that she has done all the changing and I have done nothing, now it is my turn to change. I do not understand what I need to change?... I feel like I am the same 18 year old man that she met all those years ago just matured up to a 30 year old... I just want to be loved by her. I want to share your videos but I am so scared too, I hate confrontation so much...
If you care enough to think such things you are a good man. If you care to make the marriage work not just for what she can do for you, but for her, then you are a good man. Tons of women are like what this lady talks about and the men in the comments... but some are waiting for the men in their lives to acknowledge that both of you have faults, that both of you can grow. When she calls you cruel, you need to think about why and not just from the man's perspective. Women are different... and if everytime she had brought something up to you, you get defensive... that is a problem. Same on her end. We are not taught how women need to be loved and how men need to be respected... we don't even know what that means. But we can learn. When my husband and I stopped getting defensive and started to actually listen and learn from one another, things got much better... but I'm also willing to acknowledge my faults. I don't know the situation your in obviously... but that's what helped my marriage. Also I've listened to stuff like this for years so that of course helped with self reflection... and I'm a christian so that also helped. The bible gives us the handbook, but many aren't willing to learn and accept when they are wrong.
Karyn. Maybe if you made a intro video and title it " is your husband a good man, and is he good enough for you?" I know it sounds like it would be would be a bait and switch, but it would really soften the blow. Thoughts? Thank you for what you do 😊
If other women think you are evil they are just angry you are sharing the truth, and hating on you for educating men. I would love to be with a woman like you. I enjoy your videos, and I have read a number of books that reaffirm what your are teaching. I think the best book has been Love & Respect by the Eggerichs.
The problem is that the author is willing to talk, explain, work through women trauma for hours to try to get the result. I can’t imagine myself passionately sitting for hours at a time for each topic to try to be her therapist. As a masculine man, I am willing to spend 4-5 minutes to say what is not acceptable for me or just give her a written list. I don’t need to persuade, defend, rationalize etc. why her behaviors are toxic and unhealthy just to give her a chance to gaslight me back saying that I am delusional or misogynistic for not accepting who she is. If you have a long term relationship it might be worthwhile to spend a little bit of time on it but if you are just starting out it’s not advised. I ended up sending 20-30 women packing as soon as I saw how they weaponize their hurt and trauma against traditional believes.
This is the most informative video regarding relationships that I have ever encountered. You're amazing and thank you thank you thank you!!! 💯👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
You can only negotiate with them if you have the army navy and airforce at your beck and call, unfortunately the terrorist actually has all the force multipliers on their side(courts, black suilts & boys in blue), and you have nothing. Bad negotiating position.
Karyn, I was so glad to have stumbled onto your channel. From what you said at the 3:45 mark in this video, though, I now understand it is not for me... 😢 "If you are a man in an extreme situation with an emasculating wife or something that is not common or normal behind closed doors that you would reasonably expect your neighbors or family or friends to be going through, my message is not meant for those types of relationships." Feeling hopeless.
I love your videos because one of two things will result from watching and sharing these videos with my (lady). She will watch and learn because we have watched and realized that the ball is in her court and that she can start healing or that we can leave and become happy again. I guarantee that if I do leave she will repeat her pattern again. She is broken, she truly cant help herself
Karen Rocks! I’ve learned more in a week than in lots of relationship books I’ve read. I can’t believe I found someone who understands so many things I couldn’t even describe myself.
I have shared your videos with my wife. I am happily married, and just like what you share, that can help my kids. I knew nothing. I wish I was told this from the beginning. I was hampered by lack of knowledge. My wife doesn't respond to my sharing of these, so I 'll stop. But, I think we all need to explore here and share, as I had no idea what I was dealing wit in relationship. They didn't cover it, at all. I'm happy, but could've avoided a lot of stuff and uncertainty.
(6:03) This description fit me to a "T" before I found this channel. Thank you for sharing your insights with us; thanks to you, I'm learning how to set healthy boundaries and not to be held hostage to my wife's emotional turmoil. By no means does that mean that everything is wonderful; however, I can see a path forward where none seemed to exist before. (31:59) In other words, showing Dracula the Cross...
It's less than 50 50 she will even let her husband finish the sentence about watching a video like this. It would be great if wives listened to other women like this though.
OMG, I love you. thank you for your videos and sharing with my wife. one step at the time and willing to give it some time before moving on. Your message has set me free. thank you
I love your videos!! Thank you for sharing the truth. It is crazy on how your videos relate to my situation. I have shared your videos with my wife and she does not like you at all. haha. She does not want to accept the truth. That's the sad thing. I wish she would accept these things so that our marriage can get better.
Thsbk you for doing what you do. I love my wife. She is my everything. I absolutely adore her. But, unfortunately, things are not great. I hope your videos can help our marriage. Thank you ❤
A certain % of some women will have pervasive denial and say this you tuber is wrong. Blamshifting 101. So realize this. Being told they are the princess since day 1.
Hi Karen. I’m a new subscriber and a pretty good man. As a former radio listener of Dr. Laura, I will always remember what she would say when someone would call and ask: “Should I tell my spouse that I” … (did something naughty). Her words of wisdom in response was: “NOT ALL TRUTHS NEED BE SPOKEN”. I heard your hesitation when you suggested the same for someone who stumbled, FELT REGRET, REMORSE AND HAS NO INTENTION of ever doing it again. The essence of character and integrity are the choices you make 90%, 95%, 99% of the time. Everybody makes mistakes and most mistakes are less damaging than others, but what is the individual’s track record of character and integrity? A delicious piece of Jewish wisdom goes: “What is the difference between a good person and a wicked person? One might think that a good person is someone who never transgresses and a wicked person is someone constantly transgresses. But even the most righteous person occasionally transgresses, and even the most wicked person occasionally performs acts of kindness. The Sages say the the difference is that the good person tries to improve himself while the wicked person does not”. What an awesome piece of Truth!!
My father 90 year old obstinate 😅 Farmer,a widower for 14 years,that he was told as a teen,by another Farmer,that if you do not like a girls mother...she will look and act like her Mother in 20 years...if you do not like,do not touch her ! Question ❓ is this true. ??? 😂😂😂
Its sad that we cannot have an open honest conversation with our wives without setting the scene and making her feel comfortable first. Its crazy that it is still about her and making her feel comfortable before telling her how what she is doing or how she may be speaking that is bother us. The temper tantrums and internalization of perceived hurt is challenging for most of us guys. You are right that exposure to a problem makes them say things like, "I am always the bad guy here" when she wont let you speak or cuts you off when you are trying to communicate, not understanding that this alone will shut you down and walk away. Somehow that makes us the poor communicator ! Do my thoughts, feelings and opinions not matter?
A good indirect way (I'm 99% sure my wife wil not react well to your videos) I'm going to try is break into her RU-vid account and watch a ton of her videos, clear that part of her watch-history. Then the algorithm will recommend them and hopefully make her curious. I know that is not optimal, but in my situation it might be my best shot!
You are the perfect intersection of red pilling the “feminist” mindset and “mgtow”. Families are the stable foundation of civilization and your work IS positively affecting the future. Thank you, my husband has noticed changes in me from just listening to your series. Your program is next for the deeper work of long term resilience.
I will just say that the scars run deep from my first marriage as it was with a woman on a high level of your spectrum that tore me to pieces for 12 years. I am remarried now and I do have a wonderful wife but she is one that doesn't want to be intimate and sexual very often it seems more like a chore for her. I am attempting to understand and figure out why. I have started watching your videos and have shared one or two with my wife in the hopes that we can find middle ground as I am a loyal good man and I just want intimacy with my wife. We have been married for 10 years and she is on the lower end of your spectrum. Thank you for your videos.
I find this video 100% true. I used to travel with my ex at least twice a year and somehow I ruined every trip. After she left me I traveled with our 2 kids 2-3 times a year. We always had great trips and they never thought I ruined every trip. Her expectations were unrealistic. Just like her expectations of our marriage. I am so glad she left me I just wish she left sooner.
Its years ago now,step daddy thing,the Mom was often unhappy for what seemed to be just misery to create drama,set her self up for failure and blamed everything on me or her son,what happened to this woman as a child🤔 Today 60 plus she still struggles,drama,blame.
Don’t do it 😂. Just improve your frame guys don’t show the source. I began acting differently with my wife and she asked if I was watching relationship RU-vid videos. I never watched any in front of her since I listen to them while trucking and we have separate accounts. She knew the change came from somewhere.
Some say emasculation is out of insecurity; that deep instinct is trying to make her man demonstrate that he's not a pushover. They say it turns into a death-spiral when he gives her the control she act like she wants; and she gets more insecure and does it again
It's true.. I wanted my husband to loving lead me, but didn't know how to ask him to, or how to get him to. I didn't want control, but had to take the lead because he wouldn't. Many fights because he didn't know how to step up and make decisions (just to keep the peace in his mind), I was left to make them, and emotions don't allow you to make good ones... and it leaves a woman feeling out of control and inadequate... we are not meant to make the hard decisions or to lead. But many of us grow up learning we are supposed to be in control and men grow up learning to relinquish theirs. It sets us up for failure.
Possibly one of the difficulties in sharing videos is the titles which can be somewhat provocative. I tried with another channel and content was good but the title of the video set her off. One solution could having a second channel where it has the same video with a very tame title and nice thumbnail.
I agree... the approach with women sets the stage. It's ridiculous, and some of us realize how ridiculous we are sometimes... but it doesn't change our reaction to it at first. All I can say is approach your woman with love. And not the feeling that everyone associates with love... the verb. Control your tone, have a soft expression and let her know you love her and care to make things better not just for yourself, but for her too. Let her see you are willing to learn and grow and she might be more receptive to accepting she also needs to learn and grow. If my husband had learned early on to speak to me without "the tone" that tells me it's time to fight, it wouldn't have turned into a fight. It could have been a conversation. For us women, the tone of voice really matters, it puts me in fight or flight. He won't let me flee, so I am forced to fight. We didn't learn how to have actual adult conversations... most of us learned from our parents to fight. And sadly... most of us learned to just give up when things get hard and to leave.
We want to share your videos with our wives because it’s a last ditch effort to save our marriage with the ones we love. It blows my mind that our wives don’t see this and just belittle us emasculate us and say they don’t like what you have to say…… when it’s killing us. They still refuse to acknowledge our concerns. My take is if you are thinking of sharing these videos with your wife, your relationship is already over. If you are looking at these videos, your relationship is already over. Time to just accept it for what it is and move on. Watch so you understand it, but accept that it is what it is….
Imagine trying to bargain with no leverage, she holds all the cards from beginning to end, one final card you hold, but we cant speak of such dire things. Logic & rhteoric only works on a man, and that's if he chooses to be fair, since you have no leverage.
I know the feeling, but Karyn saved me. I didn't even realize I wasn't crazy and was suicidal. It has been a rough road and may not have been soon enough to save my marriage but at least I have my sanity back.
This is hundreds of thousands of years of evolution. Women have adapted to survive. We would not have survived as a species if women were not selfish and evil.
I just found your channel and I feel like I found a group of people where I can feel understood. I need to reach out to you for some personal coaching if possible.
