Was My NARCISSISTIC PARENT BORN THIS WAY? ||Psychotherapy Crash Course

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Did your narcissistic parent ever tell you that childhood trauma is the reason for their self-centered, overwhelming, and confusing behavior?
Parental narcissism and emotional detachment can be difficult to understand. Sometimes, if angered enough, the adult child feels compelled to go straight to Google for a better understanding of their behavior.
Unfortunately, there are often mixed messages online that may be gathered as "evidence" to help explain the behavior that disturbs the parent-child relationship.
A narcissistic and emotionally detached parent may have become narcissistic because of a variety of factors which I discuss in this video.
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***DISCLAIMER: I am in no way saying that childhood trauma should not be connected to the behaviors of a narcissist. I am saying, however, that childhood trauma should be considered the ONLY thing that has led to the narcissists behavioral patterns in life.
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#trauma #NARCISSISTICPARENT
#tamarahilllpc
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DISCUSSED IN THIS VIDEO:
0:00 intro
1:50 malignant narcissist
2:50 history of trauma & narcissism
4:34 genes & biology
5:09 these various factors cause narcissism
6:16 neglectful parents can cause narcissistic traits
8:03 sometimes genes are all you need
9:07 does my parent truly have trauma?
9:40 am I dealing with a vulnerable narcissist?
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Mentioned In The Video:
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Music:
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🎵 Track Info:
Epidemic Sound
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DISCLAIMER:
*Videos are provided for exploration and educational purposes only and does not constitute clinical suggestions or consultation for individual cases.
If you or someone you know is having a medical emergency involving harm to self, please reach out to the suicide prevention hotline suicidepreventionlifeline.org/.
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----Contact me-------(BUSINESS INQUIRIES ONLY)
I'm Támara, a licensed and internationally/Board certified trauma mental health therapist, with over 14 years experience. I specialize in helping children, teens, and families with mental illness. I also treat psychological/emotional trauma in children, teens, and adults.
If you'd like to contact me or inquire about my international consultations, you may email me at contact@anchoredinknowledge.com. *Please note: all consultations are charged a fixed rate fee based on the case content.
Mail me stuff!
PO BOX 15747
Robinson Township, PA 15244
*FOLLOW ME ON SOCIAL MEDIA:
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Website - www.anchoredinknowledge.com
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Опубликовано:

31 июл 2024

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Комментарии : 30

@TherapistTamaraHill Год назад

***DISCLAIMER: I am in no way saying that childhood trauma should not be connected to the behaviors of a narcissist. I am saying, however, that childhood trauma should be considered the ONLY thing that has led to the narcissists behavioral patterns in life. ***For more information on this kind of parent, check out one of my previous videos here: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-eDAifGGiep0.html

@susanparker767 Год назад

Environment is everything ✔️

@msshan-l1y Год назад

Tamara is sooo on point..be careful the parents will go to the extent where can almost or will cost you your life! Speak up and stay away for ever! These parents do not LOVE their children OR child sad to say but facts 💯

@TherapistTamaraHill Год назад

It truly is sad. 😔

@earthapaige Год назад

I appreciate you giving other possible causes because often people are so quick to associate abusive adults with - oh they had a traumatic childhood. As the scapegoat, I believe I had the most direct trauma out of three children, but was able to become self aware and intentionally heal. My two golden child sisters have become clones of my narcissistic mother. I believe they were taught this through two things you mention, entitlement and neglect. They needed parent’s connection like any child does, but the only way to get that was to become just like our narc parents. They all feel entitled and connected through a shared sense of superiority over others, and blaming any family flaw on me. As for me I always need to double check and make sure I’m not becoming that “vulnerable” narc you spoke of. To accept my past trauma but not use it to justify cruel behavior.

@princesinha1680 Год назад

I agree. I'm sick and tired of narcissists being 'excused' for their bad behavior, because, boo-hoo, they had a traumatic childhood. I'm also the scapegoat in my family, and I can confidently say I've endured the most trauma of all my siblings. And yet, I'm also probably the most empathic, the most self-aware, and one of the only ones actually TRYING to better myself. The narc in my family is my golden child sister, who has been indulged her entire life, primarily by my very codependent mother. I don't have narcissistic parents, thankfully, but they were emotionally-immature, and my siblings and I endured emotional neglect as a result. I believe narcissism is a result of both nature and nurture. Both my sister and I were emotionally-neglected, but I've been bullied and abused throughout my life, while my sister was and IS the bully, and has seemingly, sadly, found her only self-worth in being adored and worshipped by everyone. Except for me, of course. Which is one reason I'm the scapegoat. Trauma is no excuse for abusing others. Ever.

@truth4utoda Год назад

😢This was needed today. My husband wonders about his mother's childhood because so many things don't add up

@writer1986 Год назад

I grew up with a physically and emotionally abusive mother. She doesn't speak about her childhood, but my favorite aunt (my mom's baby sister) says my mom was the spoiled one. However, no matter how one was parented, no matter their past, it's not an excuse for one's terrible behavior/treatment towards others.... Change is a choice.

@TherapistTamaraHill Год назад

I'm sorry 😞 That's rough because these mothers often never get true help. When you don't think you need it and you avoid proper choices, as you mention, change will never happen.

@JacobT-1 Год назад

Thank you very much for making this and uploading it. You put a lot of effort into this, and it shows. With the labeled chapters and timestamps. That takes time and is very appreciated. What you discussed is awesome and important as well. You're very consistent and wise. This video was good for my day. Thanks again.

@TherapistTamaraHill Год назад

You're welcome Jacob! I'm glad this was helpful to you. And thank you for your kind observations.☺

@RaechelA Год назад

Thank you for this video! I noticed some narcissistic parents rarely talk about their childhood & get frustrated when asked. From my experience this frustration has come from them not truly going through anything traumatic & being aware of the fact that they gave / are giving their children a worse childhood. God bless you Tamara💚💞

@RadAngelDMV Год назад

Narcissists love playing the victim.

@TherapistTamaraHill Год назад

Very true. And unfortunately, they deflect and distract with this too.

@risingeagle6332 Год назад

This is what I figured out on my own after years of being mistreated, emotionally abused and physically assaulted by my wife for 3 decades. At the end of the relationship I was thoroughly mentally, physically, emotionally exhausted. I had to spend 3 years recovering from my trauma bond with my ex and grieve the loss of the relationship and time wasted. It felt like a crushing mountain dropped on top of me. “It was like going through withdrawals after being suddenly taken off of LSD, Cocaine, Crack and Heroin all at once, and going cold turkey”….brutal!!!!!😮 I ended up being diagnosed with CPTSD, Severe Anxiety and Severe Depression; surprised that I did not have a Personality Disorder. Turns out that I am a mentally and emotionally resilient person. 😌. Thank God! ******* In marriage counseling and therapy, the Counselors and therapist constantly ignored my wife, because she was charming and distracting. She mainly would take over the conversation and waste time talking about unrelated and irrelevant topics in therapy. I went to over 60 therapist, counselors, doctors, psychologist and psychiatrist through the years. Not one told me who I was being exposed to at all. They always focused on me; I was the recipient of emotional abuse at the hands of my wife. I did learn in therapy that I was raised to tolerate emotional and physical abuse. I was raised in a violent home with an alcoholic father and a neglectful emotionally disconnected mother. (I was a codependent Empath type of person; found out years later.) I paid 1000’s of dollars trying to figure out what was figure out what was going on in my relationship over a 32 year period. Most professionals in the field of psychology, psychiatry, counseling, and therapy are not trained or skilled to recognize a “narcissist” (High Conflict Personality, Jekyll-Hyde Type, Hijackal and emotionally destructive people). They tend to focus on the victim’s behavior, and not who or whom cause the victims emotional distress, anxiousness, trauma, debilitating anguish and grief. It took me years to find out that I was dealing with Covert Vulnerable Narcissist with Comorbid-related Personality Disorders and mental illnesses. I spent 4 years recovering from psychological emotional and physical trauma after my wife suddenly left in 2018. I had to educate myself and I found a therapist familiar NPD, Narcissism, Stockholms Syndrome, Emotional Crisis management and Narcissistic abuse and victim syndrome. Great video!!! Keep providing these wonderful informative videos. Thanks!!!😀

@Flowergirl222 7 месяцев назад

My psychopathic mother made up “trauma” from her childhood to justify not caring for her elderly mother. She said she does not owe her parents kindness or respect now that her widowed mother relies on her because when she was 23 they forced her to move out of the house and she wasn’t ready yet. She said they wanted her to grow up and be independent, and now she is. She left out the part where my grandpa rented her an apartment and bought her a collector car that she then crashed. She was born evil. My grandparents are amazing people. My narcissistic father claims his mother abused him by baking a tray of cookies and only allowing him to have two. THE HORROR of a mother wanting her child to be healthy!

@truth4utoda Год назад

I feel like my sister plays the violin in the family not because she needs to feel loved but because she wants the attention.

@TherapistTamaraHill Год назад

Yes and sometimes these individuals distract and defect drinking up the attention given to them when they discuss and mention "traumatic experiences" or wrongs done to them.

@sah-nae Год назад

Hi Dr Hill 👋🥰 I hope you have been well ! As you know from many of your past videos this is my category! Can't wait to watch ! I just heated my food 😁 thanks again for all of your insight!

@TherapistTamaraHill Год назад

Hello Sa-nae! 🤗Hope you are well as well! And thank you! I'm glad this topic resonates with you. I will be discussing it live this coming Friday too, if you'd like to tune in.

@sumbitspicy Год назад

I'm sure my father is narcissistic, it's a living hell.minimal contact.

@TherapistTamaraHill Год назад

😪

@bonnywhite8205 Год назад

It's very interesting what you talk about in this lecture. Gives me broader perspective, thank You! Appreciate Your work so much 🙏 🙏 🙏

@TherapistTamaraHill Год назад

You're welcome and thank you for watching!! 🤗

@pennyc7064 Год назад

Thank you Tamara for another excellent video and bring up a good point! On a side note, would it be possible to do a video on favoritism (my sibling the golden child was favored and could do no wrong), I'm having a hard time dealing with the feelings (sadness...that I'm not good enough) that favoritism brings in me. I understand that people are favored in the work place because of my reasoning, that the boss wants employees to perform however the difficulty is when I'm participating in a group activity that there is favoritism. I know that the favoritism is human behavior and will not change but I need to change, so what positive self talk can I use to heal this wound of favoritism?

@TherapistTamaraHill Год назад

Thank you Penny 😊 And you're welcome. I think that's a great pivot in these series of videos. Perhaps I can include this topic during my live chat Friday. I think changing how you manage the feelings of having a family dynamic like this may be more complicated than needing positive self talk, unfortunately. I can bring this up too.