Hello friend! This is "digital trauma-focused psychotherapy."
My name is Támara and I am a Licensed Psychotherapist, international & Board Certified trauma therapist with 14 years experience treating families, adult children, parents, children, teens, college students, and adults.
I train, teach, and offer consultations all around the world.
*Topics reflect my personal and professional experience. While I respect the research my field has done on human behavior, "text-book" psychology has no place on this channel.
*Videos Saturdays 6pm est. *LIVE chats every Friday after 6:00pm est.
DISCLAIMER: IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW ARE EXPERIENCING SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, SELF-HARM, OR IS IN IMMEDIATE DANGER, PLEASE CONTACT 800-273-8255 NATIONAL SUICIDE HOTLINE OR TEXT 741741 IF THERE IS A CRISIS.
We have all seen this stuff dramatically played out in movies but let this seep in people: this stuff happens and we have to live with lack of love and support. I make music and yeah they just hate me but it's really about that they do not truly love their selves they aren't happy but lie their lives away lie me into submission
Sadly, I compared my father to Hitler a month ago not knowing that it's a thing you're not rambling thankyou ❤. I swear you know them all😂 all my family good morning hope you have a great day
I love your explanations...you put words to my experiences. It is so rare to see this level of explanation. Most people cannot understand what we lived, we the people who were not loved.
Thank you! I'm glad this was helpful. And I very much agree that it is difficult to explain one experience sometimes. Therapists --- good therapists -- often have the advantage of seeing things from a broader perspective and to apply the appropriate language.
My step-dad is the one who controls through acting intolerant and constantly offended. My mother has to constantly praise him. Because I wouldn’t follow suit, I was labeled as misbehaving, selfish, and ungrateful.
With all that we now know- that almost all of what we have been conditioned/educated to think about life and our world has been a big fat lie- SO turn ALL of what we have been told about mental health upside down and there lies the truth... My husbands mother has been told forever she has a diagnosis of "schizophrenia". My experience of her is very different. I see her as deeply manipulative, selfish and chosen to live the way she has to not take any responsibility for herself in any way, she lives a life of lies and untruths, makes no positive contribution to this world, and has caused great harm to my husband when he was growing up. She has had many opportunities to sort out her traumas from the past and has chosen the route she is on. I feel spiritually unsafe when I am in her company, and my energy is low when I leave. My husband refuses to see her how she really is and actually makes excuses for her, which causes tension between us.
I'm so glad that I found your channel. I'm going through some very difficult times after finally deciding to distance myself from my toxic family at 38 because my mental health is in stitches because of them. I have no healthy relationships left because I've been choosing people based on my trauma, and I feel alone on this planet. I need to heal but I don't even know where to start. I'm deeply sad and hopeless but at least I don't feel guilty towards them after listening to your streams. Thank you.
Stalkers you dont know, the police will ID him for you, especially in a small town. They will give you their name, address and date of birth for you to fill out a court order. I dont agree that you should fear the most violent ones!!! Those are the very ones you should file on immedietly!
I was the lost child. But the lost child is often scapegoated. They are an easy target. I was both. Forlorn is the word that describes the theme of my life.
No. It is not her fault that she is favorited. BUT....her reaction to being favorited is what mattered. She ate it up. Not one drop of compassion or empathy for how it was effecting me. I had another step sister that was favorited by my step dad (he was also her step dad). She handled it much differently. She acknowledged she was being favorited but did not exploit it like my blood sister did. I became besties with my step sister in spite of her being favorited by my step dad. HUGE difference. A siblings reaction to being favorited can make a huge difference in how we as siblings get along and then get along as adults.
I was alone. Favorite was my sister. Both my mom and dad. I am THE MOST alone person on the planet - that is how it feels. I don't get along with my sister and brother at all. They brought my brother into the in crowd. I most definitely have CPTSD. You are describing me exaclty. I did not develop the skills I needed to become successful in life, nor did I learn how to get my needs met, nor how to recognize my needs in the first place. And IF I even knew what my needs were and I knew how to meet them, I struggle with feeling important enough to ask. If my needs impact another in any way, that is definitely where I stop in my tracks because that was never ever ok in my family. MY needs came last if ever at all. My sister was the exact opposite. The world revolved around her needs. My mom never missed a beat with her. For me.....I was a swimmer. She did not come to one single one of my meets....for 3 years. Until I won 3rd place in the city. She came late. I didn't know she came. She saw me get my medal at the end. She cried because she felt like she missed it all with me. But I was angry angry angry by high school and my reaction to her telling me this, as a teenager, and after pointing this kind of thing out with her my entire life and being gaslit about it, my teenage reaction to her was ----- NO DUH...KINDA LATE NOW, MOM!!! But even that happening, it did nothing to change the dynamic or what was going on. So to me, that was an isolated incident that went nowhere. And my friends would try to tell me that both my mom and sister KNEW exactly what was going on. Even that was a shocker when they said that because as a child I believed their world view of me. That I just did not deserve to be loved and cared for and made to feel important. It is very complicated and it goes very deep.
Not only are they are a union, but it makes me crazy when they BOTH adamantly deny this is going on!!! I just understood that my sister could not take the shame of knowing this. So instead she fully embraced it while at the same time denying it. My sister/mom alliance then brought in my brother's wife and brother. My sister pretty much dictated who was and who was not included.
I think favoritism is very common but not necessarily always the case. It does exist for sure. I was definitely the disrespected child, the black sheep.
46:40 I don't know maybe I am a psychopath. No I don't want to spoil somebody's food for them being verbally rude with me or for cutting me in traffic - not sure this would even come to my mind. But imagine you're dealing with literal fascists or somebody who's doing their bidding, and these people are willingly trying to harm you, get your money, rights, property and freedom, or put you in harm's way otherwise (Judges for example), and they succeeded, and you are not the only victim. I am outraged by the injustice etc, not going to pretend I wish them well
Hello ma’am, I actually see two therapists a week for severe OCD and other severe anxiety disorders and I also have extreme PTSD because I’ve been abused before and multiple ways and I am married to somebody that has severe intermittent explosive disorder and it’s very hard because I’ve been abused so I don’t know what to do with him because it makes things a lot harder on me because I get triggered because of certain things he does. I’m trying to figure out what I’m supposed to do when I am a victim of abuse and he can be very verbally abusive. He did finally start seeing a therapist a week or two ago now. I try very hard to be supportive and be here for him. However, my therapists are very concerned about my well-being, especially because of how bad his IED has gotten. I know that it is a very difficult disorder and I’m very scared because it’s very hard for me to deal with everything because I get triggered all the time. Of course it doesn’t help that I’ve family members in a four year period. most recently my nephew passed away last October, so it’s been very hard to get any type of comfort or support from him in a very long time. I do appreciate your video. I’m just trying to find answers for what is someone in my position supposed to do? I will tell you it does seem like my mental health disorders are not a big deal to him, especially when he is having an episode. I have tried to explain to him that I’ve been triggered so bad that I have seen multiple things happen to me while he’s doing what he is doing. I also wanna make it clear that I do understand that he does have this disorder and I’m sure it’s very hard because I know mental health disorders are very hard. There have been a lot of people keep telling me I should leave him, but I haven’t because I know he’s mentally ill but me having my disorders definitely does not make me feel safe and it makes it very hard for me to be around. I have to deal with my disorders.
Hello Tamara. I just found your channel and I now watch you daily. You are so on point and informative. I love the way you welcome everyone in the chat. Do you still do live chats.? I would love to catch it❤
Ms. Hill another great topic! Thank you! It helps to understand the meaning of toxic relationships. I am going through some things with some of my family members. They felt a need to go no contact with me without word. Because I wanted to understand their feelings, pain and how I contributed, I invited them to undergo a family clinical intervention with a licensed professional like yourself. There has been no response for over five years. The last crisis was 3 years ago. I grieved during this time and have accepted they may be better off apart from me and I have moved on.
Predestination can be redirected if you have knowledge and experience over the reoccurring cycle of events! You can control it by cognitive abilities over that period of time! Thought over emotions!
Narcissists try to mess with your sleep because it wears you down, and when you're worn down you're more susceptible to their programming and control. Narcissistic associates who call me on the phone at 3 a.m. to just chat and it's not an emergency get one or two warnings, and then after that I block their phone access and leave them email access only so that I can sleep when I need to. I don't mind being awoken in a TRUE emergency, but "I'm in the hospital and have been for two days now while they run tests," is NOT an emergency whereas "My Dad just died and I'm unable to function," is.
