We get drunk and watch Artemis Fowl (2020) ft. Josh Gad 

⬇ FOLLOW US ON TWITTER ⬇ - RAZZLE: twitter.com/RAZZLEMedia - Ryan Havens: twitter.com/Ryan_Havens - Alan Havens: twitter.com/AlanHavens - Zach Mourar: twitter.com/zachmourar - Ben Hagelin: twitter.com/LetsGoHaggles

I swear to god, Judi Dench saying “top of the mornin” in a sci-fi elf costume made me piss myself laughing

I hate how they turned Artemis Fowl Senior from a criminal gangster who got his boat sunk in a missile strike from the Russian mafia into some heroic ally of the fairy nation.

This is Mulch Diggums. He's got my back. I'd advise not getting eaten by him.

I loved it when the big mouth guy said "It's feeding time" then he fed all over the bad guys

I would like to point out a few things Percy Jackson was still a demigod Aang was still the Avatar Goku was still a monkey. Artemis fowl flat out is not a criminal. That’s how horrible of an adaption this is that they couldn’t get the premise right.

Honestly, I lost faith in this movie well before any of the trailers came out, when a casting call was issued describing Artemis as a boy with "emotional intelligence". To quote one particular post on the matter: "Excuse you, but Artemis Fowl the Second would literally rather die than express an emotion, and in fact _has_ on multiple occasions."

Even if it wasn’t a horribly botched adaptation, it was still a terrible movie on it’s own

Zach being super hostile before the movie even started made me realize just how bad this movie was going to be.

“Artimis Fowl out here lookin like Boss Baby” is probably the best thing I’ve heard so far this year.

As someone who has read Artemis Fowl, I also feel Zach's pain.

As someone who’s read the books and loved them all, it just makes me depressed and pissed that the movie turned out this unbearable

8:32 “Maybe he’s born with it, maybe it’s potato lean.” RAZZLE never misses

Something that bugs me aside from, well, everything else, is that they made the Butlers, whose family are canonically the origin of the word "butler" in that world due to how loyally they've served rich English lords in the past, into black people, while turning Holly, who is canonically a woman of color struggling in a male-dominated career field, into a pasty white girl in a career that has no gender hangups at all. I want to listen to whatever meeting where they decided that made sense.

My favorite part of the movie was when they said "That Artemis kid is pretty Fowl"

Admittedly I’ve never read Artemis Fowl, but Zach being so defensive this entire video was absolute gold.

just imagining foley's reaction to only being referred to as "science horse" is cracking me up independent of everything else. also, since i hadn't seen anyone mention it: another reason why this is beyond awful is normally, when they change the race/gender of a character in a story, it doesn't matter (ie sam jackson is just the best possible nick fury imo). but in THIS: butler is supposed to be eurasian, and commander root is a man, because otherwise holly battling sexism in the LEP by being the first female recon officer is completely removed.

Zach the mean, Ben the forgiving, and Ryan the hilarious, the 3 horsemen of the moviepocalypse , Alan is busy eating butter

I love that the “Tom Cruise screaming” moment has become a running joke throughout commentaries, every once in a while.

Never read these books, but as a Percy Jackson fan, I feel Zack’s pain.

Now that Razzle brought it up yeah the narrator sounded ike he's dying. What probably happened behind the scenes was Mickey Mouse pulled a gun to him and made the narrator say all of his lines in 1 siting. Plus that song at the end was amazing and I hope eventually somehow the rest of the track will return

This is karma. This is your penance. This is what you deserve for depriving us of the *ART* that would have been We get drunk and watch Space Chimps (2008) ft. Patrick Warburton.

Zack: “This is the worst thing to happen in 2020” 😂

Zach's constant pain over the adaptation that shall not be named is just beautiful

I feel Zach’s anger with a passion, this is still hard to watch even through the filter of Razzle.

Judy Dench as Commander Root completely defeats the purpose of Holly being the first female LEPRecon and her having to prove herself. Also, it's hilarious they turn Artemis' butler, whose entire family has been trained for generations to be servants and body guards to the Fowls, was turned black.

I want the full commentary of this just to hear Zach raging about it the whole time haha

“YOU CRACKER!” -Olaf, 2015

The collective "IS THAT HAGRID???" made me laugh lol

as someone who read all the books multiple times when i was younger, i fully understand Zach’s hatred of this movie

Dame Judi Dench performance sounds like the tough guy voice that jacksepticeye uses as a joke.

My god I’d this movie is painful to get through I feel so sorry of Eion Colfer that this is what his amazing book ended up becoming

No but Im with Zach on this one I was so excited that this was coming out after reading the books and I feel so betrayed I could also excuse the all over the place accents but when Judy said "top o' the morning" i admitted defeat. Disney really got no clue what Ireland even is 😭

Ok but Zach’s Irish accent is actually very good

12:37 So awesome seeing JackSepticEye starring in yet another incredible masterpiece of a movie.

Never read the book, but it’s not a sign of a good adaptation when Artemis Fowl the book is advertised as a globetrotting adventure and in the movie he never leaves his house.

Every time I'm reminded of this movie's existence I loose a bit more faith in humanity. Big props to Zach for suffering through it twice. That poor man.

You know something is seriously wrong when three drunk guys on the internet come closer to a convincing Irish accent than anyone in this movie supposedly set in Ireland...

I would 100% watch an hour long video if Sach explaining every awful difference between this movie and the books

My favorite part was when artimis said "it's arting time" and drew the most amazing piece of art

I love that the Irish accent devolves into a stereotypical Beatles accent then back to a half decent Irish accent.

I'm so glad we had a book reader watching, The movie is bad on its own, but it really sucks for the readers

Razzie as an Irish follower, i can tell you that nobody in this film actually sounded Irish at all 😂

Zach's rage was so powerful it destroyed the video file. This is his psychic awakening

Josh Gad’s best role since he did it with Q*bert

Razzle needs to do Inception or tenet drunk then try to explain what happened

Artemis looks like an actual toddler whenever he's sitting down. Like we're just watching a very strange Boss Baby spinoff.

I like when Josh Gad said "its mulchin' time" and mulched all over those guys

I think the funniest thing about this movie is watching Josh Gad's voice slowly revert back to his normal voice. It's like he got tired halfway through the movie and couldn't hold up the voice from the beginning

Any screaming turning into the damn botched Mummy trailer is one of my favorite running gags

I would kill for a last airbender commentary.

I watched a long review of this movie while playing Twilight Princess, but the downside is that now whenever I think of Twilight Princess I also remember this movie exists

When I was a kid I imagined Butler being like a mountain of a man and Artemis having kinda like a super classy gangster type look this movie kinda broke that interpretation lol

Ben: I mean, this must be what the- uh- what the books are like, right? Zach: *primal scream*

The fact that they mentioned the Judi Dench splash zone without saying Judi Drench is a crime

This was the first time I've ever felt bad for Zach during one of these commentaries.

I unironically can't stop listening to that ending song 16:30

As an Irishman Zac has a pretty good irish accent

"Look how they massacred my boy..." I grew up with the first book, I love it with all my heart. It's what got me into reading. For Disney to do THIS to Artie is one of the most heinous crimes of cinema. Only this unhinged commentary is making anything worth it. This is the closest I will ever get to watching this cheap cash-in of a movie. It's essentially wearing the skin of Artemis Fowl like Hannibal Lector, parading itself around like the real thing. I get the feeling if I ever tried to watch this I will be seething and seizing with rage and black out only to wake up and find I've trashed the nearest house and the police are after me. It's obvious they didn't care about the source material and only wanted to make something that could be considered "popular" (ya know, with the kidz?). So Artie can't be an actual bad guy and the whole plot can't revolve around a kidnapping but instead some random fking macguffin that's generic as hell. A sad thing is that Josh Gad could've made a good Mulch if he actually WAS Mulch instead of a not-dwarf. Where was Angelina Fowl? Did they kill her off? Fk you again Disney. Colin Farrell was a decent choice for Artemis Fowl Senior. That is all. Juliet doesn't seem to have had much presence. Was she just there and nothing more? Really though? THAT'S the Mesmer? Holly's eyes just kinda light up and her voice gets echoey? Sure. Haven't seen that in anything ever. Okay, seriously, the CG is off and that troll looks like it crawled out from under Birdge to Terabithia. What the hell did they do to Foaly? Science horse. That's all he is now. Great. And what pisses me off most was what they did to Holly and, to a lesser extension, Root. ROOT WAS A DUDE IN THE BOOKS. He was the angry commissioner who could be a dick, but was not a bad person. He actually cared about Holly (evidenced by the fact that he resfused to basically nuke Fowl Manor because Holly was still in there), and his banter with Foaly was great. Plus he smoked cigars and, I'm pretty sure, didn't not dress like a talking leaf! I have nothing against gender swapping as a concept, seems a tad pointless a lot of the time (like there's a quota to be met - but then I could just be being cynical), but if they really wanted to have more female characters, Root was the wrong person to do it for. Why not make Foaly a woman instead? Or, better yet, don't do that sh!t in the first place? And then there's Holly. Holly Short was my favourite character in the book. She was a stone-cold baddass and the first female officer. She encountered pushback from most everyone around her, Root in particular, but she never let them shove her down. Even when she's captured, she doesn't give up and instead starts formulating a plan to get herself out. Hell, if the troll hadn't of gotten sent in she might have been able to rescue herself with no issues. Her punching Artie was awesome. Holly is no longer special in this so-called movie because she doesn't seem to have that same fire and she's not the first female officer. There isn't any pressure or importance riding on her now because we have FEMALE ROOT as the one in charge. I've been waiting for this movie to come out for most of my life. The book has greatly influenced me as both a person and a writer. And to see this be done to it by the Disney/Hollywood system, whilst I'm not surprised, I am still irrevocably disappointed. Yeah, when I saw the trailer and the news when this was first coming out, I was actually yelling about it I was mad. And that's never really happened before. If I want an adaptation of the books, I'll stick to the graphic novels. ... Whew, I've been keeping that locked up since 2020, feels kinda good to get it all off my chest. Artie and the fans deserved better than this. I hope the author pocketed a huge sum, because this sure as sh!t wasn't made out of love for the books.

The Fowl family just being drug dealers who happened to have saved some magical creatures once could have made for an interesting backstory with the right writers.

Throughout the movie, I’ve just been thinking, “The Loathsome Dirteater!”

Quite fowl experience if I do say so myself.

As a big time book fan who also happened to be drunk at 4 am, this was a must-watch for me LMFAO I'm laughing so hard I can't breathe 💀

This movie left a fowl taste in my mouth

The Prediction: 3:24 The Payoff: 12:44

Love how Ryan always brings back the Tom cruise scream lmao

I grew up on these books. These books helped formulate my taste in an important time of development in my lifetime. This movie is like being spit on and called a slur.

The line in this movie of, "Think of my children. You don't' have children. Not yet.", was literally in The Mummy. (Except Beni says, "Someday I might.", in response, but still.)

The Artemis fowl books are wild enough of a ride own their own (in a good way), I really don’t need to see the whole thing in 3 dimensions too many

Artemis' opening scene completely flies in the face of just about literally everything the character is about

Thank you Razzle for actually making me laugh at this movie

Watching this hit so much differently as an Irish person ahaha

Corrupted, also known as Zach just didn't stop screaming until the end of the movie

I never thought I would hate milk after watching this video dawg

Zach just absolutely hating this movie is hilarious and the others just teasing him is just pure gold.

I don't know how the f I ended up here, I have no idea wth Artemis Fowl is other than some book and it's bad movie adaption, but I'm laughing my ass off with tears in my eyes, this is fucking hilarious

As an Irish person this is an every day occurrence in Ireland sometimes when I get quite peckish my jaw unclenches (undenches dare I say) and I suck up all the dirt near by

We're still waiting for space chimps...

So the best way to describe this movie, Home Alone Harry Potter edition.

We Get Drunk and Watch Grown Up and Grown up 2 ft. Adam Sandler.

man, I haven't even read the books yet, and I still wanna headbutt this movie's nose so hard, blood goes spraying out of my ears.

Still remember when I auditioned for this, boy am I glad I didnt get the part

I was so happy to hear Artemis was getting a movie, having grown up with the books. And then... then they gave me THIS

This is officially my second favorite razzle video ever number 1 will always be cat in the hat

Fun as always! I'd absolutely love to see a commentary on The Last Airbender

Kenneth Branagh must have gone in character as Gilderoy Lockhart to make this movie

The fade-in of Tom Cruise made me shit myself laughing

"I don't think anyone irish has ever sang." Sinead O'connor is shaking.

I found this channel about 7 months ago when I was looking for people’s reaction videos to the Bee Movie, and I came across your guy’s video. And I laughed so much that I wanted to see what other movies you had done commentary’s on, and I saw that you had recently done one on How the Grinch Stole Christmas, and again I laughed so hard throughout almost the entire video. Since then I have watched pretty much all of your content and I just wanted to thank you guys for being so hilarious and always being able to make me laugh. Also for your next commentary you should do either Flushed Away or Scooby Doo 2002.

I think the biggest problem for me, who was a big fan of the books, is the fact that the books aren't quite as child friendly as Disney would've liked. I mean, multiple characters get shot, and one dies from buring to death in a sea of lava, and he wasn't even a bad guy. This needed to be a Netflix or similar streaming deal, where the line between ratings is a lot more obscure.

Zach got so angry, his rage somehow corrupted the recording

"Butler, pour me some lean. I need to play Beat Sabre." *i did not expect to hear that today*

That eventual Dragon Ball Evolution watch is gonna be insane

Josh Gad with a beard looks like a baby dressed up as Hagrid

Nothing prepared me for the Master of Disguise reference I’m crying and then the being irish outside finished me my lungs hurt

"It's potata meelk" lmao 5:18

I can't stop laughing about the Potato Milk. It's so stupid, but I love the lore you guys built around it XD

This movie was my villain origin story

Next up in movies that doesn't exist is the Maximum ride movies

I wasn't expecting this to be Zach's Peter Rabbit, but hearing him say he grew up with the books, I'm not surprised