Great video! I once had Mormon missionaries come to my house. When I told them I was gay, they told me that I could be gay and Mormon...I just could not be a "practicing " gay. My response to that was practice makes perfect.
Years ago, both Tallulah Bankhead and Tennessee Williams were guests on the Dick Cavett Show. I don't remember the question, but Williams responce, was: "I've been Practicing homosexuality for 25 years". The outspoken Bankhead, interjected and said: "My God, After 25 years of practice, you'd think you'd be good enough to be one!"
i recently watched an old vid of the Dick Davit show, from the 1960s. that a friend turned me on to. One of the guests was a very outspoken celebrity , called Tallula Bankhead.the other was Tennessee Williams. i don't remember what Willims was asled. but his answer was "Ive been practicing homosexuality for 25 years". Bankheads, outrageous and hilarious reply was " You would think that after 25 years of practice, you would be good enough to be one!"" LMAO i couldn't help but think about how many times i've heard a Doctor say "I've been practicing medicine for 25 years!" haha
i was in the same ward as lincoln and his family and seeing him embracing who he is was a huge deal for me. this helped me a lot and made me realize that there’s nothing wrong with me, especially having someone else in my town in the same internal situation as i was:)
I would say to anybody struggling with accepting homosexuality that you cannot split an atom without causing great destruction. Those two boys are obviously in love. So much so that to separate them would destroy so much potential future happiness and create so much certain disconsolateness.
Loved your video. I grew up gay and Mormon, which was a horrible thing for a child in the 1970s. I also spent a couple of years in Utah, in the early 80s. I left the church at age 18, and never looked back. With all of the self-loathing and self-hatred that I learned from the church, it is a miracle that I am still alive. Best wishes to both of you and look forward to future videos
@gcjerryusc unfortunately, the "a homophobic society" flips the script and blames the victim for the "decision" to "stay gay" and believed, that being gay, comes along with deep depression. They refuse to believe, that the reason that so many LGBTQ people are depressed enough to take thair own lives, is the lack of tollerance from the churches, schools Your born to love and taught to hate. until recently, if a kid in the public school in the usa was bullied, the victim would be blamed. "if you didn't make the "choice" to be "that way", no one would want to hurt you.
Such a refreshing video, you two are an inspiration! I’m gay and grew up Mormon too, but I’m 26 and still have not come out all the way. I live in Connecticut now, and I’m just so relieved to not have the “so have you found any cute girl yet?” question that I’d have to dodge from answering. I don’t really know why I can’t just rip off the bandaid and call myself ex-Mormon, but I guess I’m still figuring stuff out. Keep up the good work!
Johnathan, I wonder how much of your difficulty in coming out is residuual Mormon guilt. I went through the same thing for WAY too long. Finally got therapy and read a lot of church history. That was enough for me. Totally out and free as a bird!!
Jonathan Cook , Hi Jonathon, I am 19, and I live in LA., I am also gay,no one in my family knows that I am gay, I was wondering if we could talk, and you can give me some tips, on how I can come out with my family?
It is nice that you are not trashing your LDS religion or family, but finding a path that you can live true to yourself and respectful of others. I spend time at BYU-Idaho (Rexburg) and enjoy being surounded by people of faith. You are correct that many LDS members are comitted to service and care for others.
Thank you so much! I’m a gay Mormon who served a mission and went to BYU. My dad is still very Mormon and my mom isn’t. I’ve had the best/worst of both worlds and you guys are such an inspiration! I’m so grateful for couples like you who are showing that there is a different path than what is told to gay Mormon youth! My boyfriend is not Mormon so that’s a different conversation on its own, but I feel so lucky to live in a time where couples like you guys exist and give a voice to kids who otherwise feel hopeless!
I am so proud of you boys for shedding some light on the struggles you went through being brought up in a Mormon household. You not only made it informative but you also helped so many who are struggling with the same issues...so good for you! I know it presented alot of heartache for you both but you stuck to your guns and made a life for yourselves. I AM SO PROUD OF YOU BOTH!!! I am a mentor for our gay youth and it's given me so much joy that I can help our next generation of smart, intelligent, amazing kids! YOU are what this country needs now....new young blood and new ideas to propel is into a new "positive" era.....going forward and NOT back....best wishes as you "move mountains" and to get back where we ALL need to be! Bless you boys and thanks!!! XOXOX Mama Steve😊👍🌹❤
As a Mormon, I do believe that there is no perfect religion, and I am so sorry you guys had to go through such an internal struggle. At the end of the day, our faith is centered around family, and family should support family no matter what. I am so glad you guys have been able to take things away from the gospel and not only walk away with resentment. Im so grateful you guys have found happiness! I would love to meet yall omg
Hey guys! Thanks so much for sharing your story. I'm gay as well and trying to figure out what my future will look like with the LDS Church and my life and all that. I applaud you and look forward to hearing more of your story. You seem like a great couple- I hope I can someday find a guy myself who is as great as you two are. The advice and example you give to the younger crowd is so great. I think there is a huge need for young men like you to reach out and let others know they are not alone and that there is hope and support out there for them.
Thank you so much for this video! As a gay guy who is currently stepping out of the Mormon world, it’s really awesome to see both of you out and free in the way you live your life. Gives me hope that I can live that way someday! I hope you make more videos, I’d love to hear both of your stories!
First, young mens, I loved your vlog. You cant imagine how beautiful you are in terms of your openness and caring that you have shared. Thanks for your transparency and love that you shine on those around you. Very uplifting. I also have an "eat the meat, spit out the bones" eclectic approach to spirituality. Love you both. From Muhammad Fauzan Karim
W O W You guys are INCREDIBLE. My husband and I fell in love going on 35 years ago, and were married like 3 years ago. For the most part, I believe it to be easier to come out now than it was in 1984, but in your case, it was probably 100 times more difficult. You two are so brave and are an inspiration to the entire LGBTQ community. Even today, it's hard to imagine that anyone could be opposed to who you love . You guys have a great story to tell, don't stop sharing it with people. You guys are helping to change the world. GREAT job you guys. Loved it.
tough being raised mormon and gay, been there, even served mission in the 80's, big hug guys. the church and members refuse to deal with the LGBTQ issue in the church, I'm in Idaho and it's the same issue here. you guys make a cute couple, Canyon I feel the pain went through same struggle between love and religion, i chose love but use the church as a foundation for spiritual source. believe the same about the general belief of church
I love this video! I am Gay and have a Buddhist practice and I am fascinated by LDS culture. There are some really good things but there are also many really not good things. Chastity without being able to ever marry is nonsensical. Glad you guys are fully yourselves!
Thanks for sharing your story. I hope your love for one another continues to grow and serves as an inspiration to other young men who are coming to terms with their own sexuality.
Wow, great video. I am a much older “retired” Mormon. Returned missionary, married and children. Finally came true to myself. Now married with my honey Ray. Kids love us and acceptable and adjusting as much as they can. You two guys are so young but a good outlook in life. I hope you continue to grow together. 😁
Subbed. Thanks for sharing. Be awesome to hear both your coming out stories and meeting each other. I'm a Christian (not moorman) who supports the LGBT community.
Just discovered this and am so encouraged that there are more gay Mormons out there. I’ve been feeling so alone and isolated within the gay culture because of my upbringings
Great video guys I’m not a Mormon, I’m a Christian I come out when I was 16, I’m 29, I have cerebral palsy I use a walker and wheelchair, me and my ex-boyfriend dated all of high school from 04 to 09 after high school his parents found out we was gay and stopped us talking, he called me back on December 11th,2018 we hung out for 4 months and they found we was talking again and stopped us from talking again, please pray that me and my best friend become friends again thanks!! I love y’all much!!!
A great video. One that debunks the myth that a gay Mormon would always be disowned. It’s great to hear that both your families accepted you and your lifestyles instead of cutting you both off. This is an inspiration to others....
i LOVED this. as a lesbian who grew up mormon, i definitely feel like there are great things about the church that i’ve kept in my life/beliefs, while not really being mormon anymore. so interesting to see more ppl that have had similar experiences to me and not completely like attacked the church, which is difficult for me because my parents are still active. anyway this comment doesn’t make sense but i loved this video!! subbed
Bro y’all are fucking amazing, like literally. You guys have been my inspiration for like ever since I’ve got introduced to you guys. I love your channel and absolutely love your instagram. Luv yall❤️🏳️🌈
I knew you two had a connection, but I did not know what it was that connected you two. Thank you for sharing your life experiences and how you transitioned from your faith to being openly gay. I read about the Mormon faith and you are telling the truth on the suicide. I look forward to hearing the rest of your stories and your journey.
this is an awesome video. i love you guys and how you still kept parts of the mormon church with you. that's kinda how i am rn with the catholic church too. so this definitely makes me feel a lot better about my situation, even though it's two different sects of christianity. this is the CONTENT WE HAVE TO STAN!!
You guys are awesome! One of my best friends is a RM and happily with his boyfriend! Thank you for being so respectful of the church as well as expressing feelings. Very respectful to both sides, I seriously appreciate that, especially Linc’s comment on finding out for yourself what you want to believe :)
2 of your videos were on my recommended, and I’m so glad I stopped scrolling and watched this! Loved the video, your energy is so good and positive ❤️ have to subb 🤷🏻♀️ looking forward to see more from you two 💕 all love xx
Moved to Utah in my mid 40s as a married gay man. We moved to connect with my biological family who are or were Mormon (I was conceived at a Mormon college 😱😱😱). We’ve found our experience here, in SLC anyway, to be super gay friendly and accepting. All the family, both sides, have been very welcoming to...as much as some of them are able anyways. A few who are still MORMON, while accepting of us, don’t often include us in many family events whereas those who are exMormons include us frequently
awww guys im soo soo happy you two found each other.. as a christian i fully support you. if you are created the way you are then nothing can change your true self. you do nothing wrong or harmful or whatever. you should be prrroooouuuuddddd.....
I like how you were still respectful of the Mormon religion and its people, even though you live differently. You went about this topic in a professional way.
It certainly requires a whole lot of patience and understanding which some are unable to do or give. But there seems to be more acceptance than had existed in the past.
Great vid guys! Had a similar upbringing in the Catholic Church. The internal struggle that comes from being brought up in a religion was very hard to overcome. Keep up the good vids, you guys are doing great!
Well said guys! Love your stories. It will definitely be of help to someone and most importantly its great to hear other stories that resonate with those of us who find ourselves in that similar situation. Oh, sidenote: next time you guys come to L.A., let us know and we’ll party 😄 🎉
I think you guys are adorable. I would highly suggest that you watch a trilogy of movies called The falls. It's about two Gay elders and their journey to falling in Love. Just let me know what you think. And the best of luck on your journey.
You are noble, beautiful young men in every sense of the word. You are also radiant spiritual beings. I am so happy you found each other to have and to hold: you are a thoughtful, generous, gorgeous couple. God bless you and all LGBTI people!
congrats on your life and relationship. you clearly, in some aspects - have handled the church and church goers better than I did! I never grew up or brought up religious. that came vicariously through others!!
A lot of Mormon gays are disowned by their family and are no longer allowed to speak to them. So many are homeless from being kicked out. I’ve known a few and it’s heartbreaking also with all the suicides going around. It’s always great to support local groups who help young queer (ex) Mormons.
Hello! Just found your channel tonight, and I gotta say, not disappointed. Hope you guys are okay now. Only got to watch the first couple minutes of the video, but will watch the rest tomorrow. I look forward to future videos soon.
There are lots of Gay X-Mormans and X-Mormans in general. Being gay, smart, and practicing the science of critical thinking will make you reevaluate the rules of Mormonism and the whole concept of religion in general that have impact on your life and on your society. BTW: Love the sketches.
So logical and well thought out young dudes good on yous You didn't rubbish anyone or their beliefs, but come across as individuals with sorted lives and direction
thank you so much for this!! :) I still feel stuck and I’m trying to figure out what to do. Im not sure what i believe anymore, but even if I still believe in some of the teachings of the church i don’t want to be apart of it if it means I can’t act upon/be respected with my feelings of bisexuality and gender identity, Im forced into a culture that I’m slowly realizing is very strict and harmful in many ways, and who isn’t doing much to help these youth lgbtq suicides (and many other things!!). so right now I’m just kind of watching videos like this, researching lots of different sources, and hoping to find answers haha - so thank you for helping and sharing your story love you guys
I have only seen white people in Germany with a sign that they we're "elder" than me.(Frankfurt/Main) in a bus.). The were friendly and I cannot complain. Two nice and polite young men without guns.
My journey was more like Linc's. I had to gradually come out to my parents. Before my mission I pulled out the good ol' "I'm struggling with same-sex attraction" and it wasn't until I was 22 and had already gotten kicked out of BYU-Idaho that I finally told them yes, I'm dating men and that's just how it's going to be. I'm 23 and I had a fight with my mom about it just last week. My family is veering more towards me cutting them off than them accepting me.
I still can’t believe this crap is still going on. Family always always comes above religion. If any member of my family said they were gay I wouldn’t give a shit. At the end of the day as long as they are happy and they are also the same person you know.
@@TeamGB-Diving Yeah they've made it very clear that they still want me to come home and whatnot, but I've had members of my family tell me that "if you think you're happy you're lying to yourself" etc. Not fun. Plus, my parents literally make up rules? Like they constantly shamed my sister-in-law because she drinks CAFFEINATED SODA. Which is LITERALLY not one of the Mormon Rules. Even other Mormons think they're all crazy (they're right). But there are some good ones, too. I live with my older brother right now (whose wife drinks caffeine lol) and they don't give a crap. They talk about it and joke about it and whatever.
@@LincandCanyon I may just talk you up on that. :) Thanks for posting the video by the way, sharing your story is a wonderful way for other people to know they're not alone. I'll probably end up sending a link to my younger brother. I'm not the only Gay in the family anymore! :O
Regarding being Mormon: Are you still on the Church rolls? grew up Mormon in LA. I'm not at all active. Just about all 10 of my family members stopped going to Church. But technically, I'm still Mormon...because I never got taken off the Church rolls.
I'm an ExMormon in Utah, and am a part of a bunch of ExMormon groups. Hello hello. 💓💛💚💙💜 Some Facebook post mormon groups you could join are Thoughtful Transitions, Mormon Enlightenment, Mormon Stories Podcast, Latter Gay Mormon, Latter Day Lesbian, Utah Valley Post Mormons. Theres a millennial utah valley post Mormon group too. In Utah valley we meet up for Sabbath coffee and talk.
You two look so cute together. I'm from Sri Lanka and it is so sad that I'm unable express my true self and love the person that I want to love. It's like gay people are frowned upon here. People are literally afraid even to talk on behalf of gay people. But I pray that one day I will also be able to live my life and experience love
I don't know about more strict it is however a strict version of Christianity. Fundies are more strict I think. I also think JW's might be more strict.
Say what you will about the Mormons but they take bashing’s like a champ. If you ever go to broadway and see the Book of Mormon (I highly recommend you do it was fabulous) the Mormon Church took out an ad in the program about joining the church. That’s taking a punch like a champ right there. 😂
Well done, boys. I'm gay and was brought up in Utah and jack-Mormon. Best thing I ever did was to get the hell out of the church and Utah. Highly recommend it!
I am gay and Mormon and I hate everything that happens but I still go to church. My teacher once said "I wish I could hide all of you in a bubble away from everything bad in the world like school shootings and gay people" and it really hurt but luckily my parents are accepting and don't care if I date another girl even though we are members. I also am the only girl with really short bright pink hair who wears pants to church so I have no clue how my ward hasn't figured it out or anything 😂
There are a lot of aspects to Mormonism that you find in cults...I've known some absolutely wonderful people who were mormons, but I just can't take their religion seriously...even though I take their commitment to it seriously...hard to explain, I guess.
I think you explained it perfectly. It's easy to understand how someone can be so invested in their beliefs. However, it's much harder to understand why someone could be so invested in the specific religion of mormonism
You two got a better marriage than most RM’s can EVER dream of. Keep making videos and making the other church members hate their lives....... and their wives.
Hi, so I hope Linc and Cayon don't mind me sharing my thoughts. I too grew up Mormon and I am still active, I am a gay-bi man. Many things they said about Utah was true, that everyone is Mormon and and there is a small percentage of non-lds people there. I hung around those pecentage when I was in hs in Utah. Yes we are a branch of christianity that we use both the Bible and Book of Mormon and other scriptures. Now I've gone on dates with a few guys and gave them a kiss but nothing dramtic happen, some leaders are ok with that. Not all but some (one of my friends who came out last year said he still dates men and the bishop is fine with it.) As shown in the video there are some of our members who choose to have relationships with a woman and have a family. I would like to let indvisuals know that is up to the person, it is not by force. Recently in the 2021 BYU women's conference a woman said she was queer and happy to be in the church. Many LGBT do choose to stay in the church not by guilt or force, but by their own personal choice. I do sympothyse with the rate of sucide in Utah. When I lived there it was very diffcult not as a bi man, but aslo as an indivisual. Many member spread rumors about me and said I was weird and strange, not because of my sexuality, but as a person. I hung around non-mormons, I didn't like BYU, and I wasn't a goodie two shoes; I made joke and swore sometimes but I was being me. So there was a lot of judgement on me. Like Cayton said it's a cultural thing, not nessary a church thing. Growing up I knew I liked men b/c of WCW seeing the guys in briefs and trunks (I hated the pants, singlets and full body costumes.) I was never a man's-man, so I wanted to be like them. But there was an atrraction to the wrestlers in the speedos and briefs. Later on in life my dad left our family and my brother's weren't around a lot so I looked for a male figure for my life. So this evolve my passion for men and I would start looking at muscluar guys. Later in my life we moved to Utah, surprise! While there I was looking at gay porn on my mom's laptop (never do that). She found out and had me go to a therapitst (I did consent to it). He and I talked and we did agree I longed for male comapionship. But soon after I got my girlfriend, who I loved with all my heart. Once I had her in my life, my desires for men slowly trickled. I still thouht of them ever now and the, but then my mind went back to my gf. When I was on my mission (Cali during prop 8), I met a lot of LGBT who didn't like us. Many said we were discrimnating and unfair b/c of our docterine. But one group of gay men kindly bought me and my compainion cupcakes. I said to him "You know we are Mormon," the gay guy replied: "Oh honey who cares, you have your belief and I have mine, we can still be respectful at the end of the day." I gave him a smile and a card for a bible which he took. This gay man showed me how LGBT and LDS can live in harmony and love one another. I did still have small tendencies towards guys, espcially when i had a cute compaion. Many of them taught me how to wrestle (A DREAM COME TRUE). I did get hard but not in a sexual way (Truth!) more in I want to win way. Unfortuatly what happens on many missions my gf and i broke up. i was devistated and hurt not to have her in my life again. This add to the "Need of Love." But I did my best to honor the mision rules and I do not regret serving a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ. While on my mission one of my friends came out to me. I told him i was bi. When his mom found out she did grill him about his sexuality. My friend and I still talked through another address. I encouraged him to pray and go the path he should go, but don't rule out the church all together. He did leave, but has never said anything bad about the church. He told me he had a crush on me. We hung out when I came home, but I didn't feel the excitement like I did when I watched or practiced wrestling. We did do some experimenting but didn't tell anyone b/c it was our bussiness. But I didn't feel anything more than brotherly love. As I progressed in collge I did more experimenting with guys and did enjoy some of it (kissing, cuddling, dates). My mom didn't know that but she was concerned about it and had me speak to our bishop. I came out to him and he was fine. he was very sweet and loving; I told him what I did and he just advise me to be cautious and safe. I was still on websites but I did take is advise too relaxed thinking I could get away with it. I was outted by an member of th Stake or church region who drove down to my house and put an evenelope in my mailbox which consited of one of my web pages and a letter that said: Brother we found this page and the church leaders have been notified, we love you and hope you'll make the right decision sincerley an annoymous caring member." I felt betrayed, hurt and angry. I did got through a church displinary hearing was on displinary council for 3.5 years. I found out the member put the copy of the web page in a tithing envelope. I didn't go to church for some months after that b/c of the heart ache, (and I thought Utah Mormons we bad.) I thought about leaving but I knew the church was part of me. When I chatted to my bishop at the time he said, "This was unfair and you shouldn't have to go through it this way. It should me on you're own terms," The church displinary hearing was on displinary council for 3.5 years. I found out the member put the copy of the web page in a tithing envelope. I didn't go to church for some months after that b/c of the heart ache, (and I thought Utah Mormons we bad.) I thought about leaving but I knew the church was part of me. When I chatted to my bishop at the time he said, "This was unfair and you shouldn't have to go through it this way. It should me on you're own terms," I did feel some love from him and that he didn't like this arrangement either. For the 3.5 years I had time to relflect while still seeing guys. One of the former lds memebers (a man) asked me: "If you couldn't have sex with a man or women who do you see yourself with?" I always knew that I wanted a family with a woman. He said to stay with the church if that was the path I wanted. This was the kindess queastion and answer that an LGBT person asked. This helped me figure out what I wanted to do. This choice came from the LGBT COMMUNITY NOT THE LDS! I was called back into the bishop's office 3 years after this incident and still told them there were times I slipped and saw a guy but I did my best to live the life i wanted which was an LDS one. I was taken off church dislpinary action. I was shocked, stunned and greatful. I have done my best to live up to this life, i may have slipped now and then but I KNOW the choice I made was the best one for me! I am proud to be a bi-gay lds man! I still love to watch guys wrestle in their trunks and to be with other gay men, in friendly settings. I do my best to stay on the path and stay true to myself and God. To some this may seem like i am being oppressed and forced, but this is my decsion and I love it. I do love how Linc and Cayon did talk about our beilef on the afterlife. We do believe that in this lifetime we are rewards by our works and desires of our heart. Many Mormons strive for the highest degree which is Celestrial; where we can be eternal families. But it is God and us who determines the degree; by our action and choices. But the other deegree are still rewards to all of God's children no matter sexual orentation. I do love how Linc semi-explains this but some parents know that God will make things work out the best He can. As well as the support the family gave, sure it took them a while but family will support you, even if they don't agree with it. I love how Cayon said he took what he liked about the church with him, showing he did like some fascits about the church. Not all members like everything about the church, even the most devout. I love how even though they are not mormon, they still like somethings about the church and they don't bad-mouth it; the steps and actions you can take to help youreself come to who you want to be. These two are the best examples of not only LGBT but of good samaritains and (I know you're not in the church anymore but I hope you don't mind) former LDS members. They didn't judge, critique, yell or insult. They were the angels to bear us up! (Sorry for grammer problems and the length of the post).
I have a different perspective, but similar conclusions. My husband was a good Mormon boy who got married early and had six kids, Along the way he was drafted into the Viet Nam war and came back disillusioned with the Church. Ultimately this led to divorce. We have been together for 24 years (that's 147 years in gay years -- lol). I was part of the birth of the 13 grandkids. The 3 oldest kids are active LDS but have decided that Heavenly Father would rather have them love their Dad instead of shunning him because he is gay. We have a great relationship with all the kids and grandkids. We live in Oregon but have spent a lot of time in Utah. Everyone in Salt Lake City who is not Mormon is part of the "alternative culture". So we went to the Unitarian Church. We sometimes go to the LDS Church with our kids, and I agree that there are many wonderful teachings and some dysfunctional teachings. But to its credit, the LDS Church continues to slowly evolve. While it is progress for the LDS Church to grant people their natural attractions and now allowing their children to be baptized, it is pretty hard to feel that attraction and never act on it. Not too many people can do this. My observation is that being born into an active LDS family is like being born a member of a club. At some point, you need to decide if you want to stay a member. I don't think most people have enough real-world life experience to really make this affirmation until their mid-twenties. But the pressure to get married and have kids early is in the background. I pointed out to our newly married grandson that his life and his wife's life would change for the next 20 years once their first child was born. I also pointed out that the LDS Church has said that birth control is a decision left to the husband and wife. He reassured me they were not ready to have kids. They have grown and changed a lot in their first year of marriage. They feel the economic pressure of living on their own and are putting together strategies for education and career.
