HI! I hope you had a great week. Here is my weekly VLOG. In this episode I talk about how my husband and I don't sleep in the same bedroom and how amazing it is for us. Stay tuned for a new vlog every week! Thanks for watching:) xoxoxoxo
Thanks for sharing! So important! Would love to do that just don't have a spare room yet :( got a good mattress instead :) . Great to see you again. Kisses from Poznan
I love you and Gianni, I love WOTE's music! I'm so happy you two are just as much in love as you were in the beginning. Way to go, Sarah and Gianni and kiddos!!
I love that it doesn’t feel like you guys are passing judgement on people who actually do share a bed and just sharing what you do in your own life ☺️✨ I have to sleep with my husband because I have kinda bad night time anxiety so he helps me feel safe ❤️
Makes sense, I want to be so comfortable in a relationship that you can discuss this type of matters, I bet your relationship is healthier after making this decision
wow...makes so much sense. I have been married for 3 years and get kind of offended when when my wife wants me to sleep somewhere else. After watching this, I guess ..maybe I am being too sensitive. My wife likes her space and I guess I never appreciated it before as I had always believed a husband and wife should always connect and be together at night. This has opened my eyes. Thanks Sarah. Keep doing these and keep making awesome music! You are the best and more creative band out there. ...Steve from Madison, WI (USA)
I think your decision is very inteligent and also very natural. Love doesn't have nothing to do with sleeping or not together. Social archetypes are not always the best. Great decision guys!!!!! ;)
I think you’re helping so many people sharing this! A lot of couples who feel they too need a healthy space apart for a few hours (to help their relationship grow further) may never have even thought of this as being a potential solution. Thank you guys for providing some insight into a stereotypical world and helping the norm become anything you want it to be! #WeGotLove
Oh I’m so happy you said this- my husband and I are the same but have always felt like we should keep it secret, there’s a bit of shame attached to it, which is weird. Social norms I suppose. Our love life is off the hook, and we have a strong marriage- 18 years now.....but we just love our own space and sleep soooooo much better apart.....(snoring, restlessness, different sleep rhythms....) You totally gave me permission to be confident about this. I played your clip to my husband and we’ve decided screw it’, we’re not going to be ashamed of it anymore.
Love this. Hubby and I are happily married for 30 years and of that 30 years, we have had our own bedrooms for 20 of them. It was also the best thing we ever did as hubby snores. We are better and well rested people because of it. 😁
I remember thinking to myself... “what if I still want my own room when I’m married?” but dismissed it because I didn’t know it’s something that can actually work for a healthy couple. Thanks for sharing!
My husband and i do the same thing! We are totally in love, and love our kids ect....but I love having my own space and so does he. Thanks for sharing!
Awesome ! I'm pregnant with our second , we have two dogs that get us up early , my hubby snores and rolls , we also have a 17 month old ...we both never sleep ! We did get a king size bed and we each have our own side which has helped a lot ..but if we both keep going on we might need separate rooms too . I totally understand ..some mornings I hate my boyfriend because he wakes me up, he gets up for work at 430 and I get up with our daughter and don't sleep well as it is and I let the dogs out to pee in the night. Thanks for sharing your story :) sleep is so important it plays a huge role in mental health and energy. Ps everyone in this house loves your music, our 17 month old hums along and dances to your videos. Keep being awesome.
Good for you two. I think it’s a great compromise and I agree that more couples would probably benefit from having their own sleeping space. Man caves and she sheds exist and separate bedrooms is just an extension of that concept. The more I see of you as a couple, the more I admire you. Relationship goals!
This was moving and inspirational. The way you both hold space - literally! - for one another and model what truly respecting one another's autonomy can look like. Different people can do it different ways, but I have children and I remember how my personal autonomy evaporated. I'm glad you guys are protecting both yourselves and one another. Hugs!
My Husband and I have been married 20+ years and the last 10 years we have been in separate beds... he gets up super early for work and I am in the throngs of menopause(re:night sweats) ... it's great for us we both get a good nights sleep...and we spend the evenings together...and when we want some couple time I'll ask him.. "do you want to come to my boudoir?" Lol! Sometimes it's just to cuddle...then I turn on my three strategically placed fans and he's like.. "I'm outta here" lol!
Thank you for sharing this with us, Sarah! My wife and I so can relate to this! We started sleeping in separate bedrooms a few months into our relationship, because we were regularly waking each other up when one got out of bed, was restless or whatever. And that's even without kids. ;) And as we moved into our new apartment (the first one we sought out together) a few months back, we planned for separate bedrooms up-front. And like you two, we consider this one of the foundations our relationship is based upon, the other being a fantastically compatible sense of humor. Being able to laugh together or totally goof out about something together is one other thing we found is what makes our relationship special. We'll be together 8 years in May, married 6 years next December. (perhaps you remember the blond woman with the ukulele you signed for our neece, and blind guy from the V.I.P meetup before the concert at Große Freiheit in hamburg inApril 2018. That was us.) Again, thank you so much for sharing!
I think it’s great and makes perfect sense, good on you! Sleep is SO important and you’re doing the best for YOU! Thanks for sharing ❤️❤️ ....awww and your kids!🥰🥰🥰 XXX
Totally love this, we've been through some interesting incarnations of the bedroom as well (one year, literally a room with wall to wall mattresses, so we didn't have to go anywhere to comfort or snuggle the kids when they'd wake up at night.), and I've been tossing around the idea of separate rooms. Having personal space is so important when you are in a close relationship! Love it, thanks for sharing!
A good and practical solution. If I don't get a full night's sleep, I'm not much good to anybody. I get this. Plus, you're right, time to yourself is SO important.
I wish my husband felt this way. I get so sleep deprived. He doesn't understand how much it affects my mood every day. And he feels hurt if I go into the other room to sleep. "There needs to be a space" yes yes yes. I adore you guys, thanks for this honesty.
I LOVE everythg about this blog!! Thank you for sharing your life with us! It's SO interesting to peep into someone's life you admire so much. You're just as awesome and authentic as I knew you would be irl. It must be so grand to be surrounded by all that love. All your boys are adorable.
OMG you two are sooo cute ❤️ It is amazing you found a way to have you personal space and that it works for you! Please don't change, just "upgrade" yourself if you feel it, and be a happy family FOREVER! ✨ And also, I am so jealous of Giorgio's drum skills... 😜 Love you guys!
This is really nice to see honestly! My husband loving sleeping by himself and will often sleep in the couch instead of in bed with me. At first I was upset but this I thought that I had something to do with me. After talking to him about it and now seeing this my eyes have really opened to why he does this. Just as Sarah said sleep is important.
I love seeing you guys happy!!! If it works for you, it’s great that you discovered separate beds. Your updates always make me smile. Love from uruguay
I’m loving your vlog! It is so nice to hear you talking about your life and showing us a little more about it! I love WOTE, I love your songs, your vibe, you are all such great musicians and artists! And this vlog shows exactly how authentic and inspiring human being you are! So interesting what you just shared. I don’t think it is weird at all, as you said, it makes so much sense for you both to have your own space when sleeping since you spend a lot of time together. Seeing the way you both look at each other makes it clear that it works great for you. Still the same passionate look and smile like the ones you both exchange while recording the song “Don’t worry, be happy”. ;-) Thank you for sharing!
I love you too at the couple, as a band and everything else you guys are so awesome together and it gives me hope because I'm 29 and still haven't found anyone I like that much LOL
When my husband comes back from deployment I'm going to talk to him about this. We never sleep good after sleeping alone for so long. This might be a great answer for us. Thank you for being so open and honest with us! Admire you so much!
Moocyfer 2.0 you say he should be treated like a king, but do you realize that traditionally, royalty had separate bedrooms? Sleeping in separate rooms doesn’t mean no sex or intimacy. It literally means sleeping separately.
@@moocyfarus8549 wait, I'm confused didn't she say, we don't sleep well after we sleep alone for so long? It seems like she's saying she misses sleeping next to him? I mean the statement would imply that right?
This is pretty cool. I couldn't do it though. In the 3 years we've been married, my husband and I have spent 2 nights away from each other. I cried both nights. He's super cuddly, and I need the company, so sharing a bed is the better option for us. :D
I think that is great! My parents wound up doing that due to my Dad's loud C-Pap. Sometimes my husband and I sleep separately due to my restless sleep patterns due to chronic insomnia and pain. If it works, don't break it.
Love u guys! Thank u for bringing us into ur world, and allowing us to celebrate ur amazing music, clandestine voices, thank all of u... WALK OFF THE EARTH.
That's greeeeeat!! That's actually a fantastic idea. I think I am one of those people who would have so benefitted from that If I had thought of it in the past and I really never have. Simple but genius! Keep doing your thing no matter what opinions people have. I'm coming to see you guys in London in July and I can't wait! 😍 It's been one of my goals (not to say even dreams) to see you play live ever since I got your first album and I've never been to a proper concert so that will be a first and one I'm SO looking forward to. And I'm not even from the UK so that's a big one for me. Can't wait to see you!! ❤ Keep being awesome!!! ❤
I totally agree with what you just shared. I worked nights for years at the hospital and eventually had to sleep in the spare room to unwind at night when I was off. I could read, toss and turn and get up and down all night without the fear of disturbing my husband. Good sleep is a much needed blessing and necessary for optimal life..
Love that you shared this! My hubs and I sleep separately as well. As a couple and as individuals it has been great, therapeutic even, to have our own space and privacy. ✌🏼 ♥️
I LOVE THIS. my husband often sleeps in the spare room so we can BOTH get better sleep. I cosleep with my 4th baby and she takes up most of the bed. He doesn't like waking up to the baby crying and I don't like waking up to his snoring. I really started resenting him getting all the sleep while I'm the one who wakes up. I can't fall asleep like he does. We also get weird reactions if people find out. But I don't care! I like him more when I'm rested. =) I told my friend and she and her husband also do this. It might not last forever but definitely during these baby stages.
I love this so much! I agree 100% about the importance of having your own space. I have spent much of my life living alone and for the most part single as well. Moving in with a boyfriend and sharing ALL of the space, ALL of the time, including the bed every night, has made me look at how it affects me too. I acknowledge and understand I need good sleep and much more of it than my bf does. Sleeping well is becoming a topic of discussion as of late for most of the reasons you listed (minus kids). We're going to start by getting a larger bed and see if that helps. If not I might propose this idea! Thank you so much for sharing!
Interesting. I can understand that too much togetherness could cause issues. Whatever floats your boat. I’m glad that you give no apologies for what works for you. I’m slowly going through all of your RU-vid content.
My hubby and I have done this on and off for years and in the last year we’ve done the same thing after 25 years. I 100% get you. I was done with being bopped in the head and listening to loud snoring. He was over my night light with me reading and me kicking him. We started with a body pillow between us so I wouldn’t kick him. I love it I’m happy to see him every morning. Love it it is great for your relationship I feel it’s super healthy for the both of you. ❤️🦋🌈
Ha! That’s dope. My wife and I have never shared a bedroom. It’s too awesome having your own room to mess up ( and of course your own bed to snore and spread out in!!! )
OMG!!! I'm so happy that I watched this!! My partner and I haven't slept in the same bed for years! He's 6'7" and he takes the whole bed, I'm a night owl, he needs sleep and I have insomnia. We feel the same way you do. Friends don't understand, but I'm fine with that. I love my space and he loves his own. Thank you so much!!! Now, I feel normal!!😁😁😁
Girrrl, my hubs and I are expecting #4 and have been mostly sleeping in separate beds for years!! My sleep is SO MUCH BETTER when I have the bed to myself. Our relationship is so strong, it has nothing to do with that. Good sleep is such a basic human need, and it allows us to be better for each other and better parents...basically everything you said. I know several other couples that sleep this way--at least during pregnancy and when there's a new baby. For us it works all the time. Can't wait to see you guys in Kansas City later this month!!
I would LOVE THIS! I’m such a light sleeper. It always sucked trying to rest with someone else. I tried it once but it didn’t go well with my partner at the time. That was one of the main reasons our relationship ended. It’s so relieving to think that it’s possible to find a partner that will be okay with it or even prefer it. Thank you so much for sharing!!!
My grandparents did this, different beds, they shared a room though. But the different beds helped their relationship a lot because they each had different sleeping patterns. I applaud you guys!
My husband and I also sleep in separate bedroom too!!! Lol I've never told anyone I know, about this. That's just because we are working together and spend so much time together all day long. And it's nice to just have the bed for yourself - you can snore, you can fart, without worrying it might be in someone else's face.
Thank you for sharing stuff.. My husband gets so offended by me not sleeping with him every night in our bed. I have told him so many times the problems that arise for me with sleeping together and he doesn't get it. He just gets his feeling hurt because of it. As time goes on he is accepting it more and more because I sleep on my comfy couch most all night and go get in our bed right before he has to wake up and go to work (3:30 in the morning). Doing it this way, He gets the sleep he needs and I am getting the sleep I need and he thinks he is getting his shared bed time with me too!! lol We do have a strong love/sex life together and two grown male single kids, one still lives at home and the other has moved out. Also I love watching all your music videos and the videos of your precious children!!!
Sleep is SSOOO important! Especially for busy people like you! I sleep so poorly, I can't imagine a day when I will have to share sleeping space with another person on a regular basis because the slightest movement or sound outside of my norm disturbs me and it makes me unconsciously resentful of that person or pet or whatever, even over the course of one night! When I was little I remember my grandparents sleeping in separate rooms and I always thought it was because of my grandfather's need for a medical bed because of stroke-induced paralysis. I recently found out from my sister, who is ten years older, that they slept in separate rooms for as long as she could remember too, long before his medical issues came into play. Their relationship was not the most romantic, they were both very pragmatic people above most anything else, but their relationship survived decades and three children and both of them working outside of the home at a time when women didn't often work outside of the house and illness that altered both of their lifestyles. It survived my grandfather's quiet stubbornness and my grandmother's relentless independence. I'm sure there was so much I didn't see, but I remember two very happy people who spent time together and rarely fussed or argued or even showed irritation toward the other, even in situations where those reactions would be understandable. You guys are right, it's not for everyone, but kudos to you for seeing that it can make your relationship stronger and giving it a shot!
My husband and I are the same. He's a REALLY loud snorer and I'm a light sleeper so I just can't sleep next to him. And we have 2 autistic children to care for so making sure we're rested is vital. Just do whatever works for you- ain't nobody else's business xx
We are the same! Honestly I wish we could sleep in the same bed but it’s just the way it is. My husband snores on a level that goes beyond words. It’s horrific. He’s also more than double my weight so if he moves it wakes me up. He rolls over and takes alllll the blankets. So I don’t sleep like at all if we share a bed. So we made the same decision. It removes so much bitterness from lost sleep and we both have a better night. We understand it’s not based on a lack of love but rather the opposite. It’s because we love each other that we are confident enough to sleep alone for the happiness and health of each person and as a result us as a couple. Thank you for sharing!!
Hey Sarah & Gianni: Thanks for being so honest and sharing. You have NO IDEA how common this is! With my ex-wife, the mother of my sons, our youngest was VERY Colicky. The ONLY thing that would allow him (& Her / Me) was to leave him in bed with her so he could nurse. Now (24 years later) my S.O., Partner, whatever you want to call her has been in Peri-menopause for 4 year of our relationship, & Full Menopause for 1 1/2 years. With the "Nightly Hot Flashes" she can't even stand to have the CATS laying on her putting off heat, never mind me. So, do NOT feel "Weird" about it, remember our grandparents all had separate rooms? Now you know why! Thanks so much for sharing. We've loved you guys since you started. So sorry about Mike (the beard guy). We hope his family & you guys are healing and in a good place. Peace and Love, from Seattle. M & "P".
My grandma and grandpa never slept in the same room as long as I have been able to remember. They ALWAYS had their own. It was never weird to me as I was growing up. I understand the reaction of anyone who may not understand how a relationship works this way, but it really honestly depends on the relationship, and I'm glad that you guys are solid, and you have a system that works! You guys are such an inspiring couple to me! I liked that my grandparents had their own rooms decorated to their own separate taste. And Id be lying if I said I miss that for myself! There's times that I have no problem sleeping on the couch and my fiance having the bed. It's not an all the time thing for me, but I do feel the need for that little solitary sleep every now and then! Keep being amazing, guys 😊❤️
My little dude is turning six this summer too, and just seeing the drum lesson at the end hearing the pokemon soundtrack... Love it, Rock on and nerd out. Keep rockin the parenting guys!
I totally get it. Sometimes I find myself in the wee hours of the morning crawling to the couch cause I’m uncomfortable or he’s snoring too loud, etc. We are currently looking at getting a bigger space so maybe this something I will bring up with him when the time comes. Thanks for sharing. We will be seeing you guys in Lethbridge during Whoop Up Days this August. Love ya’ll
I have the same situation with my GF + Boy of 8y since 4 of 5 years and it is great, a bit weird at start but the relaxing sleep and all get you over it easy. Nobody is disturbed when you may have to get up very early or have/want to sleep earlier or do whatever. Just like Sarah described. And the "visits" at each others room where also fun and healthy for our relationship. 😉
