We Need To Talk: Dating Outside of Gender & Body Norms 

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Girl, literally no one has ever said you were too fat to love.

I really feel that this "occupation" is probably not the best for your emotional and mental well-being.

Your channel is literally a complaining/relationship channel now.

Please don’t be concerned about what other people think. I am facing losing my love to cancer. It really changes your entire perspective on everything. Love Cassie..expend your energy on loving Dan. Don’t waste a single moment. ❤️

Cassie, I am sorry, but you sound like a hypocrite. You say that looks and conventional beauty don’t matter, but when you had a date with that “big beautiful bearded man” (who was conventionally handsome), you behaved a lot differently! You were “smitten” and sooo excited! And in one of the videos about dating you said something about some of your dates looking different than their photos (and you emphasized their weight/body being bigger). Why did that matter for you? I mean, there is nothing wrong in being excited about a date with a handsome man, or being disappointed because someone is using old photos for their profile… but it does not go along with the things you said in this video. English is not my first language, hope you understand what I was trying to say. Maybe I got something wrong from the video, correct me, if that’s the case. Edit: wanted to add, that I didn’t see a lot of bad comments about Dan’s hair or nails, the majority of them actually were supportive. Feels like you are fighting with something that does not exist.

It's no coincidence you choose a topic that you know people will click on for your sponsored video. It's all for views and money folks.

If it makes you feel any better, I haven't seen anyone making comments about Dan being gay because he has long hair or anything.

Yikes you yell at us all then want us to use your promo code and are all sweet at the end, I feel awful after watching that video

I've been a long time subscriber but I seriously cannot take another one of these videos I don't understand your need to be so hateful to your supporters because a couple people said something you didn't like criticism comes with the job you do when you put yourself out there like that personally I'm here for the beauty content and you are not putting that out anymore like you were I can't take the videos with all the drama and Dan it's just ruined it for me and I'm only one person but I am unsubscribing maybe you can get yourself back on track and get back to making great content again prayers for you

This might seem like a weird comment, but I find it interesting you had a video sponsored where you just, basically complain.🤨

Why do you even care what ppl think? I wish you would go back to the video you used to do. And it just happens that the video you know that will get views is sponsored. Please stop it’s getting weird.

Are you forgetting that the people you keep talking crap about are in fact your subscribers, the people who keep your channel afloat? I've never seen any comments saying Dan is gay etc for how he presents himself, either you delete them or are focusing on such a small few irrelevant comments and blowing it up for yet another clickbait video. So disappointing, you could make so many positive changes to your channel and this is the content you put out. It's obvious your heart isn't in it anymore. You've said yourself that Dan is in all your live streams because they're boring to do on your own, way to insult the people who take time out of their day to interact with you.

Be careful. Your life becomes what you pay attention to.

Just to be clear, I’ve commented my concern about him leeching off of you because of cues & the vibe in the videos you post with him. It has absolutely nothing to do with you or your body.. just telling you to look out for it, that’s all. If you guys are genuinely in love with each other that’s amazing. You post your relationship online people will speculate.

I’ve been a cheerleader for you for years, but I’m beginning to think that you just can’t or don’t want to be happy. Maybe this was the sponsorship??? Money???? I don’t know…. I hope you will some day find joy, no matter what people think.

Well when you put your life business on RU-vid you get comments you are asking for good bad nasty

I'm honestly shocked no one has ever figured out Cassie KNOWS talking about her relationship is going to give her VIEWS which translate in MONEY for her she KNOWS we don't care about her boyfriend she KNOWS rambling about him is going to get her VIEWS AND COMMENTS I mean, she has to make money fam, it's all about that...

I'm just confused, at this point, tbh. You dived straight in with predictably defensive passive - aggressiveness. Although I don't know why I'm confused as it seems to be a running theme. And basically, you're saying that unless opinions & comments are gushing, the they're/we're all just snidey jealous, unevolved "haters ". I get that it's your relationship and ultimately opinions regarding this just don't matter to you both. Fair enough. & It's good that you've found your person. HOWEVER, Dan is very very much present in your content now, so you do have to accept the rough with the smooth. Not saying you have to agree - but this defensive snarky shit is frickin tiresome. You literally make out you have toxic subs that are out to get you whenever they say something you disagree with. It's this random, inaccurate onlsaught of content essentially uploaded to make a dig or call us unhealthy, jealous, bitter, sticking our noses in- it's incredibly condescending and unfair. We have been with you alllll along and yet, suddenly, now you're happy and loved up, you're not just (continually) dismissive, (which would be bad enough), you're also outright passive-aggressive. It really does your subscribers an absolute disservice, as a whole. You wanted us all here thru all the repetitive, self pitying quite toxic content, (not that you have ever just taken feedback without being defensive and snarky) I just don't understand, how, its like we, as your viewers, can't win and do not matter now (Unless we're gushing and complimentary) It's so exhausting to click on to these things, and just be bashed, because as you said albeit paraphrasing here, " I don't like yr comments, why you gotta have unwanted opinions, there's something wrong with you and I'm sad for you all for hating on us" . You don't even praticse what you preach yourself. If your opinions are all that matter (which is fair enough) why continue to dedicate content like this, these offensive whinge-fests - as opposed to concentrating on what should matter, in terms of your channel and relating or at least not alienating your audience who fund your entire income. You broadcast SO much Dan stuff. (Good for you guys, don't get me wrong) but that doesn't mean we can't all find it a bit boring or repetitive. In terms of content and the original and ultimate theme, it's like you have now almost lost your identity, to a degree. But we've been with you ALL along, when you were lonely and insecure and broken and bitter and whatever. If you think about it - THAT IS support - that's not people that are out to "drag you down" & rain on your parade. (with the exception of a few unnecessary comments) It's not unreasonable viewers have a preference for The thrifting, the makeup and mukbangs etc. You channel, was primarily for that. Now it is not - and so, as your (loyal!!) long time subscribers, we do have a right to general opinions, surely we've "earned" that by this point? Whether you agree or take them on board (obviously not) or disagree, you have to accept it's part and parcel. If you don't want opinions (at all, unless glowing gushing ones) on your relationship, why make it such a large part of the content you actively choose to show us in the first place? I get the whole " if you don't have anything nice to say, say nothing" thing, that expression can ofc be valid at times... but at the end of the day, life is simply not like that is it, for anybody, especially when you're putting it out here on a prominent social media platform. Whilst I get that sometimes we all bite back and "defend" ourselves to a point... this, the way that whatever ppl say is met with absolute defensive, dismissive accusatory and wildly innacurate responses...accusing your loyal subscribers of being toxic, it's just f*d up.. I get that there are some trolls - but isn't that just life - it doesn't mean we're out to get you, just because we're not false or lapping up the Dan element. We're all glad you are happy. I just don't get why there's the need for the offensive, condescending BS towards us. You act like you have a (majority) toxic audience And that's blatantly not the case (as you would surely see - if you stepped back and appreciate our continued presence, interaction and feedback) It's like you want us around for "numbers", & when your life is rough, but it's this all too frequent , uneccessary misdirected next- level aggression and cockiness now that you're happy, it's disgusting. You blatantly DGAF about us, your subs in terms of feedback - even when it's simply relating to the content type that we subbed for ( and so would prefer to see) in the first place. You used to be humble and sweet, grateful (albeit a bit insecure, as we all are at times) But, now you're just.... IDK what this even is anymore.. Arrogant, narcisstic, hypocritical, condescending and utterly out of order in terms of how you respond to any feedback or opinions relating to the stuff YOU literally decide to broadcast on the first place.

My mum and dad always told me “If you can’t say anything nice…don’t say anything at all”…..I live by that

Where are you pulling all these mean comments from!???? All I have ever seen are positivity pure love and compassion. You are not looking in the right place if you're only noticing the bad! Stop! I love you!

Ironically you’re the one making a whole video about others opinion of your BF. 😅 Haven’t you heard that others opinions of you is none of your business? 🤔 Unless you want to make it a huge deal to bring views & more drama…

Why do I feel like literally nobody has said “you’re too fat to love” like girl what… stop creating drama that doesn’t actually exist.

STOP, my god woman.

Harming my body with exercise cause it wasn’t built for it lmao. CASSIE! GIRL…!who said Dan is gay?

I've never seen anybody say anything bad about Dan in this regard. Am I missing something here? Maybe we're headed towards a no comment section. It seems like that's what would be best for her. No more drama.

There we go again… 🙄🙄🙄

How dare you honestly. “People are allowed to have opinions but only if they are the same opinions as mine” are you kidding? You show your life on the internet instead of working in an office, if you don’t like the attention or opinions, good or bad then get off the damn internet - talk about a complete sense of entitlement. Not to mention profiting off of a joke of a video that is supposedly so important - if you were serious you wouldn’t have monetized the video AND done a sponsorship

I wish you'd dedicate some videos to questions and comments with the most "likes"

Don’t you ever not complain?

Cassie, when you insert your life into your channel, you are using it as content from which you are profiting. Also, this is the internet, full of trolls and keyboard warriors. You’ve had somewhat of rocky relationship with your audience, so while it’s your choice to introduce Dan, it baffles me that you would. Yes, people are going to be awful; it’s the internet. Of course it’s rude, unkind, and cowardly to type mean comments on your page; that’s not up for debate. But this is the deal you are fully aware of, and now you’re complaining. Either keep your relationship offline (wise move), or realize that people are going to talk shit, and you continuing to allow it to consume you will only serve to keep the onslaught coming.

Would love to see you address your claims of demisexuality before Dan.

It’s more about health than appearance

I know it’s hard…but you HAVE to stop CARING what people say or think to heart. As long as ur happy. What else matters???

Before my son passed he wore long hair and liked to paint his nails. He was a straight man. He’d wear it up or down in all kinds of styles including a French braid. His hair was amazing. I’m sure that is partially due to the fact that I love long hair on a man so I may have influenced him when he was young. The thing he got the most comments on was his very long beard. He was in the hospital for over a month before he passed and his care takers loved doing his hair. As a reference several medical techs referred to him as Jesus. I am a large lady and my bf is an avid bicyclist and marathon runner. We look like Jack Sprat and his wife. My son was very sensitive and my grandson looks just like him. He would cry at kitten videos but don’t mess with people he loved. He would kiss his male friends and tell them he loved them and hugged everyone. His time was short but most who took the time to know him loved him.

Why focus on those that have negative comments? Why give them that power over you? Honestly, better to just ignore them and live your life.

Am I the only one who has not seen a comment like this yet… also, I have never heard someone say that bc a man has long hair they must be gay 😅

I am happy for you and Dan but people aren't taught to find physically fit bodies attractive. It's innate not to find obese bodies attractive. I'm not talking about body builder types but a moderately fit body = healthy. Being overweight/obese is a sign of ill health or ill health in the near future. Being overweight is number one indicator for cormorbidities such as heart diseases, diabetes, hypertension and many others including fertility issues for women. Wanting a healthy partner is what nature wants us to do as it is more probable for healthy offspring. Society has nothing to do with this.

Ok, I don't watch IG or any social media other than RU-vid, but I read almost every comment on her YT videos, and I have to wonder how many comments have said long hair and painted nails must mean the man is gay. My guess is, one or two people jumped on that stupid bandwagon, and Cassie grabbed it like a bulldog and ran with it. I've seen her do that before. She gets six very complimentary comments and one negative one and that's the one she chooses to go on and on about. Does anyone really care if she carries a few extra pounds? Most of us Americans do. NOBODY CARES! I also don't really care if she feels sexy or not. That's not why I watch her. I watch her for her makeup reviews and her wardrobe try ons. Sadly, they are few and far between these days. Her "boyfriend" is repulsive to me and because of that, and the fact that together, they make my skin crawl, I do not ever watch a video that he is in. I have a lot of opinions about him but nobody cares what they are, so I keep them to myself. I will say one thing. If he's gay, which I believe is ridiculous, he's doing a hell of a job of snowing Cassie. She's obviously all in.

I think Cassie has to just take some time to recollect herself and reset herself and her channel. It’s been so negative here with almost every video! Both her being negative and then her audience. It’s kind of exhausting. I feel the negativity through my screen… please think about what will make you happy with your channel Cassie because trying to play catch up and defending everything you do is not working

Focus on the good, why highlight & give attention to the bad. Just wondering if it's for pity or extra attention. Everyone who posts their personal life publicly are going to get positive as well as negative comments. No matter what you look like. And as far as comments not having to do with appearance...when you have red flags out there, people will notice them. No excuse for mean comments, but the ones of people being concerned...should be respected.

Cassie, with all due respect you need to stop giving these comments the time of day...they're trying to get a rise out of you, and well, it's clearly working-commenting on them is one thing, but making yet another video giving them the attention they're looking for? It's not going to stop them, it's actually encouraging them. Be well, Cassie.

i understand that some people should keep their opinions to themselves but then again you are putting a lot of your business and relationship for the world to see . it’s the internet what were u expecting ? lol

Your sponsorship chat was soooo long! I had to click off.

Wow, this was nasty and patronizing.

Just because Cassie was not happy or mentally unwell when she was supposedly thinner does not mean that it would be the same at this point in her life. It's not about trends or body type (no one's natural or ideal body type is overweight or underweight). If she's happy now she could be even happier if she was at her proper BMI and weight. I'm not saying anyone should starve. But a proper diet and even a moderate exercise routine would go a long way toward physical health. And that is what it boils down to....HEALTH. Your person should not want you to be unhealthy. Obese people are almost always headed for diabetes and high blood pressure with stroke and kidney disease not far behind. It is possible to "love food" while maintaining a healthy weight. And YES, it gets harder the older you get. That's why people should heed the wakeup call and get healthy while they still can.

I don't watch anymore but I'm curious as to why people think he's a leech? Does he not have a job anymore?

As long as Dan loves you and you love him, it doesn’t matter what you look like. He sees you as beautiful and you see him as handsome.That should be enough.

i dont think anyone ever "enjoys" hearing you rant lmao

WTF 😳 I don't believe Dan's hair and or polished nails are the only reasons why people might think that he's gay and or bisexuality

Cassie, you are going on and on. Just be happy with Dan.

I was literally just thinking that I was so glad to see more of the videos that I love…then this! The need to keep preaching about how awful people are is exhausting. We get it.. you guys are different and so in love.. great!! Do you. Please stop explaining your relationship to us. Stop giving attention to the negativity. Ignore. I am afraid that those of us that are here for the weekly wears, boxycharm openings, stitch-fix and other beauty content are starting to question their subscriptions to your channel. I personally love all the great reviews on products etc..

People are definitely not, in general, saying that Dan is gay; and I do ready all the comments in your videos. There may have been a mere handful of trolls overall that have said that, but only a few. People fully realize these days that Dan painting his nails and wearing his hair long doesn't mean he's gay.

I think you only don't find traditionally attractive men and women sexy is because you know you're not good looking yourself.

In the words of Glozell, "is you okay?"

THANK YOU!!❤️

In addition to all that you've said, no matter what your physical attributes may be when a couple gets together, rest assured if they stay together for any length of time they will change...so all the "hotness" will shift.

I’m not closed minded however people are entitled in their own opinions. To each his own do I like his hair um that’s be a BIG no some men look very very good with it he does not as far as fingernails um it looks awful but again to each his own but it’s definitely a big NO for me.

Cassie, if you were my friend sitting in front of me at a coffee shop, I'd tell you that you can't control other people, you can only control how you react to them. You have your boyfriend and you're happy, don't add fuel to the fire by addressing the negative things they have to say. They aren't going to change their minds unless they decide to on their own. Sad, but that's the truth. Also, I get that you need to make that coin, but I feel that the first third of the video being a sponsor spot makes your message disingenuous, I'm sorry.

This whole situation is so unhealthy. Please just keep the guy out of your videos. You don't need our approval of your relationship, just take it all offline. It's not fair to him that you're subjecting him to all the vitriol from the community you seem to attract.

Her body wasn’t meant to be “normal size” yet her diet is full of sugar, fat and processed garbage. But everyone should just ignore that and celebrate “non societal norms” 🙄 victim victim victim

Welp My grandfather in the 60s that went to Woodstock had long hair. Most 70s and 80s and on the main lead singers of the BEST BANDS EVER had long hair. Half my family is French and most the guys in their 20s and 30s are rocking the man bun and painting their nails black. Idk.. Dan seems cool. I don't get why anyone has a problem with anything about Dan

I don't see it or get it. He's a normal guy and your a normal chick. I've never seen anyone go on and on about him being so hot or you being so fat and ugly. I don't get this. Stop labelling everything. Let people do what the hell they want. And if you aren't into it it's ok not to be and it's also ok to have your own opinions. People care because they have their likes hate things they don't agree with. You might not find it offensive but others do not and just like your view and opinions they can feel and say what they want.

Try doing your blush and Broncos like Kathleen lights. I think that would look so beautiful on you. Places try it in a video

Cassie, I have been watching your channel for years and love all of your videos. Try to ignore the negativity, especially from people pretending to defend you. You can make videos on anything you want.

May your relationship thrive and grow stronger every day, Cassie 💕

Posting parts of your life on the internet comes with unwanted options and advice. Just gotta let those comments roll and keep doing what’s working for y’all. I’m here to support you through the good and the bad. 💞

I really haven’t seen many of these types of comments so it seems strange to focus on the few over the many many people who are so happy about you finding love. A lot of us have watched you for years and just want to see you grow and do well on your journey. Stop focusing on the crappy people and start just focusing on all the good that you have on here. You’ve managed to create a community that has some of the nicest people in the comment section and it feels like a shame to pay more attention to the haters who just want to see you fail

I have been through a lot of good & bad relationships in the past, but I recently met someone who I care about a lot after just a short amount of time. No one knows how we feel about each other, and honestly I don’t care what other people say. It must be hard being on social media and having people constantly scrutinizing everything about you and your relationship. Sending you my love!

I agree with you 100 % you and Dan forget about everyone else and just love each other ❤ xxx

If I’m not the one kissing, laying beside or getting jiggy w someone…it ain’t none of my business lol. You do you girl

Another perspective on this, is that the comments could just be about people looking out for you, if they’re your supporters and we can often see things bore clearly from the outside - especially when it comes to matters of the heart❤

The squeaky wheel gets the grease?! 😆

I'm sorry but when has anyone ever been like oh stereotypically, gay men have long hair??? 🤣 that is literally not something I would ever think to relate to a gay person. These people are wild. Anywho I completely relate to you. My boyfriend is skinny and I would actually say conventionally attractive and I am a big ol gal and its literally on the top of my mind all the time in public with him. I was not overweight when we first got together so alot of my insecurities come just from the fact that this is not the body I was in when we met so you're lucky to have found someone who chose you based on how you look now. Its tough dealing with the emotions surrounding not feeling like your partner is attracted to you because of weight gain.

Hi - As long as Dan is good to you, you feel loved , you are happy, and he's not a criminal that's all that should matter. As my dad has always said "to each their own". Enjoy your relationship, you deserve all the happiness!

YES! to the higher placement of contour. 😊

Dear Cassie, Ignore those ninnies; sid them. Naught to do w/ u 2. Much love, Lenore PS I adore yr armoire (sp?), which was caught by u when u were filming in yr rm. How wonderful that you saved them (I think u said u hv 2). They shd make a come back! xx

🤣🤣🤣🤣not the squeaky oil. It's "the squeaky wheel that gets the grease."

I’m so confused. I was a college kid in the 90s…nobody cared about long hair on men. I must be out of the loop because I figured people still don’t care

OMG I grew up in the 80s-90s and long hair was the norm on guys. Most the guys I dated had long hair. Rockers had long, hair sprayed, and ratted out hair also wore eyeliner and nail polish. IDK I live in Mn and this normal to me I guess. I'm roughly the same size as you as well and guys love a thick girl. I've never had it be an issue. My husband doesn't have a problem with it either lmao. Not everyone is tan, skinny, and from California. The mullet is back as well......not loving that look but that's just me maybe......to each their own I say.

Hi Cassie 👋🏻 happy Sunday!

I have an idea. If you're going to involve Dan in almost all of your content now- therefore opening him up to criticism. Why not do a Q&A WITH and for Dan??? That way your subscribers can get to know him and ask all their burning questions. I think you'll see more support as a whole. I don't care how the guy looks. He's definitely not gay, he has no style whatsoever (no offense). He also seems extremely immature and awkward. Don't put him in your videos if you're not going to allow him to speak for himself. I don't see any negativity- but if there's that much let the guy address it. I mean where'd you meet? Does he have any degrees? What's he do for work? How old is he? Hobbies? Is he bi? Are you bi? I vote for a q&a, or please stop showcasing him because the poor bastard looks awkward af. In a way that he doesn't want to be on camera. It's sad really.

Honestly Casie, why do you care what others think?! You’re happy, right?! Best thing to do is ignore/block those comments. However, people have a right to their opinions. Wherever you agree with them or not. If you want your audience to have an open mind, (aka an opinion) let them have it.

Dan’s celebrity look a like is riff raff from Rocky Horror 💅🏽

Take it from me. I have been in an occupation where I deal with the opposite sex on a very personal level all the time. These so called social norms are all in people's heads. What I hear from men in particular is that they find self confidence (not cockiness), sencereity and warmth the most attractive qualities no matter what the outside package is. I fact they find themselves sometimes confused to how much they are drawn to people with these, qualities even if the outside doesn't match what they thought they considered attractive. I personally find you much more attractive with the confidence you've gained since starting your relationship. I can tell you feel beautiful and confident and it's really working for you. Not that I didn't always think you were a beautiful woman but there is something about confidence that just makes you wanna be near it. All those opinions that you don't like are just shallowness and that's never attractive to most people. Keep doing you boo, you wear it very well 😘

Does scent bird deliver to Australia?

Im happy for you!

Yes..l also believe that her boyfriend is gay and he isn't really in love with her. Whenever l see them together he gives me the impression that she is his mother not his girlfriend..

I’m a size 0 and I’m still not considered attractive apparently. It doesn’t seem to matter what you look like, your intelligence, being a decent person. Dating is just a mess out here and if your lucky enough to find someone people should keep opinions to themselves

He seems like an absolutely lovely man and you two seem very happy together. I’ve been with my husband since 2005 and we are married since 2014 with 3 kids. He paints his nails OFTEN and wears eyeliner occasionally I can assure you that you can still have a perfectly awesome relationship! 😹😹😹 Much love and light to the both of you ❤

I'm a 39yo Australian women who hasn't found my life love yet. I'm a bigger woman due to medical issues and too scared to date whilst I don't feel like I'm in my own "real" body. It's SO hard!! But you're giving me hope and someday, when I feel up to it, I'll look into dating again. Just with being a size 18AU, I'm not comfortable yet. I've also self harmed and harmed my body due to this both recently and in the past when I was small. I've never been this big before and Dr's are stumped as to why. Hence I feel alien like. I think yourself and Dan have a great and healthy relationship. As long as both adults are consenting, who gives a flying F about anything else. Celebrate yourselves. I hope people back off and just focus on their own lives instead of casting out ugly opinions NO ONE cares about. PS. Cock Rock in the 80s had some VERY fem looking males. With the long permed hair, makeup, nail polish and even clothing and high heeled boots. They weren't "gay", they were of that time period.

The one thing we (viewers) need to remember is that Cassie's world is very SMALL. She shuts herself up in an apartment; by herself for the most part, almost all the time. You could see where one comments could be a trigger for her.

80% of the guys in my 1975 yearbook had long hair!

The end makeup result was gorgeous as usual Cassie. Dan is lovely & I enjoy your livestreams together.

I don't know what's wrong with people but I am so happy for you've found someone who genuinely care about you and make you happy...I wish only good things for you and "hot dish"!!!

Random side note: Can anyone recommend a good channel for first dates grwm and debriefs? I loved those videos and want to find more like those ones

My sons have long hair and paint there nails so what Cassie don’t let others tell you otherwise.

Some people tend to think that because you're a youtuber who shares some aspect of her life then it gives them the right to give their unwanted opinion and be mean as if they'd the same to the people they know irl, they tend to forget that youtubers are humain beings with feelings

I have young adult children your age and your boyfriend seems super nice. My kids are all different and that's because we allow them to be individuals and love them just the way they are. The world would be a better place if more people adhered to this premise. I love your channel.

You and Dan are creative and beautiful inside and out. I enjoy watching your vlogs immensely. If you want love to stand the test of time, it must be more than skin deep and based on laughter, kindness, loyalty and caring. ❤❤💕💕