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"We Tapped That Ass"
Starring Santino Fontana, Vincent Rodriguez III, and Rachel Bloom
Written by Adam Schlesinger, Rachel Bloom, and Jack Dolgen
Josh:
I BANGED YOU HERE!
Greg:
I NAILED YOU THERE!
Josh:
AND ON THIS COUCH!
Greg:
AND IN THIS CHAIR!
Josh:
IN THE DOORWAY-
Greg:
THE HALLWAY-
Josh:
ON EVERY STAIR!
Josh + Greg:
WE TAPPED THAT ASS ALL OVER THIS HOUSE!
Greg:
SOMETIMES HIM, SOMETIMES ME.
Josh:
THOUGH, NEVER SIMULTANEOUSLY.
Greg:
BUT ONE OF US WAS HITTIN’ IT,
USUALLY.
Josh + Greg:
WE TAPPED THAT ASS ALL OVER THIS HOUSE.
YOU’LL NEVER ESCAPE US
‘CAUSE WE LIVE IN YOUR HEAD.
JUST TWO SWELL DUDES THAT YA SCREWED--
Greg:
HERE...
Josh:
AND HERE...
Greg:
AND THERE...
Josh:
AND HERE...
Josh + Greg:
AND EVEN OCCASIONALLY IN YOUR BED!
Josh:
That bed is really uncomfortable.
Greg:
Right? It’s like a prison cot.
Josh:
ON THE STOVE.
Greg:
OVER THE SINK.
Josh:
AND SORT OF IN THE FRIDGE ONE TIME I THINK!
Greg:
AND THEN WE HIT THE BACK PATIO!
Josh:
THAT’S WHERE WE HIT YOUR BACK PATI-
Josh + Greg:
OOOOOHH!
WE TAPPED THAT ASS ALL OVER THIS HOUSE.
HOW MANY TIMES DID WE TAP THAT BEHIND?
Greg:
WELL, LET’S ESTIMATE.
Josh:
ON AN AVERAGE DAY, I WOULD HAVE TO SAY, MMM... 5, 6, 7, 8!
Greg:
What? Too cheeky?
Josh:
Hey, does this ring a bell?
A little to the left...
Greg:
Oh, oh, ok now a little to the right...
Josh:
Oh, oh, wait, wait, back to the left…
Greg:
Right there, right there...
Josh:
Wait no, you’re doing it wrong,
I’ll do it myself!
Greg:
Barkeep, what’s on TAP?
Rebecca:
It’s me. And my ass.
Greg:
Oooh! Sounds refreshing!
Josh:
ON THE TABLE YOU WERE WILLING AND ABLE-
Greg:
ON THE OTTOMAN YOU TOOK A LOTTA MAN -
Josh:
AND ON THE SAFE IN THE CLOSET I MADE A DEPOSIT…
Xander:
I ALSO TAPPED THAT ASS ALL OVER THIS HOUSE!
Josh:
Let’s wrap this up with a big finish!
Greg:
But where should we finish?
Rebecca:
Please not on my chest.
No, you’ll scratch it!
Greg:
ON THE ACCENT WALL
Josh:
ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR
Greg:
YOU DIDN’T CARE WHERE
Josh:
YOU JUST WANTED MORE
Josh + Greg:
HOW MUCH MORE TAPPIN’ COULD ONE ASS ENDURE?
WE TAPPED THAT ASS (TAPPED THAT ASS)
TAPPED THAT ASS (TAPPED THAT ASS)
WE TAPPED THAT ASS…
ALL OVER THIS HOUSE!
12 сен 2024
