Week 1: When the Last Thing You Want to Do is Forgive 

"Bitterness is not an indication of a limitation to love people. It actually indicates the exact opposite. It you're struggling with unforgiveness, it's probably because you have a great capacity to love people. But you've also been hurt." -Lysa TerKeurst That hit like a ton of bricks. Thank you for acknowledging that. I'm praying for The Blood of Jesus to cover all that my feelings don't yet allow for. Trust in Christ, I'm starting there.

I am thankful that I finally heard "its ok, it's hard, and your feelings are normal" I'm tired of people saying just get over it, it's been 2 years. I have prayed, studied so many books on how to forgive. This situation was just the straw that finally broke me. I'm so thankful for this study.

I particularly liked what Lysa said, "There's never a perfect time to forgive. It feels like it is too soon, until it feels like it's too late." I've been there several times in my life. I need this study.

Oh my gosh!!!!!!! I finally found someone to help me through the pain!!!!

This is why whenever I remember a painful event in my past I keep repeating the mantra- God forgive them through me.

Venerable, powerful, real and encompassing. So very thankful for a friend who gave me this 📚 book. Digging deep to heal and move toward who Christ wants me to be. I like when she said, “I can’t just move on... I really need to do the work of forgiveness. Forgiveness doesn’t start with me. It starts with God.” We can’t outrun the pain, we must go through it with Christ, so He can transform us.

Wow- I shed a tear! When she said that God still loves us despite the bitterness, resentment, etc. we may feel and it’s ok if that’s where we are right now (of course it’s not where we plan to stay)- that got me. I needed to hear that, because I can feel like a horrible person to have these feelings. This whole video was a blessing! Excited to get into this book and study 😊

When I was experiencing despair several months after discovering my husband's infidelities, I told a friend I was feeling like God is good, He is just deciding not to be good to me and she sent me an interview where Lysa was speaking about a chapter that she addresses this same feeling during her dark days. I snapped right out of listening to the lies of the enemy because I knew for certain God was not punishing her and that he was carrying her through her devastating season so she could help others, including me. What the enemy meant for evil, God was using to bless me in my moments of deepest despair.

It’s doing inner child inner work to move through the pain of childhood trauma

Isn't so much the forgiving that's the problem, it's FORGETTING!

Ugh I’m crying!! I’m glad I found this!!

I am so ready for this forgiveness. I seen this book some time ago I wanted to forget the deep hurts and betrayal I felt but forgiving is something I too never knew how to do. I am a child who grew up with trauma in our home growing up. I have had very poor choices in men. I am a double mastectomy breast cancer survivor 12 years. I am in my second marriage. I ran from one marriage to the next one. Afraid of being alone. I looked to men for protection. I am fairly new to having a relationship with God.

So grateful for godly women who can rise above their circumstances and allow God to make beauty from ashes. Thank you so much, for not only sharing your pain and experience but the way out through the blood of Jesus. What a beautiful gift we all get to partake in. Blessings on your life ❤️🙏

Bitterness is the erosion of your heart and the enemy so desires that - God does not. Hence, God wants us to forgive. I am praying this book helps me to release the bitterness, to embrace God's love and forgive and forget the hurts. Thank you Lysa.

Good Morning! I just want to say Praise Our Lord to you for writing this book because I need to be set free. This is an area I have to walk through daily. I know our Father is so loving you so much because of your obedience!! Thank you Lord for this community that is helping us to get closer to You. Amen♥️

Love that this is relatable to my life and not just words on a page.

When I read the Intro, I felt like I was reading about my life. I didn't think anyone ever could go through what I've been going through the last 5 years. I didn't think anyone could ever understand the pain. I didn't think anyone could put into words all the emotions that have been running through my body. I just didn't think anyone would understand or be able to help. I was told by 2 councilors that I need to forgive...myself, the person who hurt me, and a vast of others. The timing of this study arriving in my email is not coincidence.

What a wonderful message to start event off with

Thank you Lisa, your message delivered me from unforgiveness. Bless your heart ❤️

This is an amazing way to start the off. This is my first bible study. And I’m trying to find my way back to God.

Wow, I am in tears. I felt like Lysa was talking right to me and my heart when she was talking about loving so deeply and being hurt. I actually started following Proverbs 31 on Instagram one day. Then started listening and following your podcasts. Which have helped me alot. I came across this book a few days later and purchased it. But it sat on my shelf, because I wasn't ready. A few weeks pass and I see that the new bible study is on her book sitting on my shelf. I heard God telling me to sign up, telling me its time. I'm here and I'm ready. Thank you!!

Happy to be learn as much I can from such a wonderful lady

wow, Getting into this study l am understanding more about forgiveing. I thought forgive the one's who hurt you and than walk away. But now l see it's more deeper than that. God is really opening up my eyes and heart .

Thank you for listening to God and writing this life changing book! I have already read it several times and each time I have been touched in different ways!

This topic of Forgiveness is really starting to help me. I too like so many other ladies is trying to overcome the devastation of divorce after 32 years of marriage and repeated affairs, verbal, physical and emotional abuse. I have felt shell shocked after a war. It's been twelve years since our divorce, he's moved on and started another family. I have been left devasted and struggling to move on. Thank you for being transparent to help others.

This book helped me so much, I went through an unfaithful husband who abandoned me and blindsided me. It’s been three years and I’m well on my way to healing with God’s strength ❤️🙌

I believe in God's timing and I believe today, tomorrow and the next few weeks are my time to lay down my bitterness and begin to forgive years of hurt, resentment and clean out the bitterness in my heart. Today, I believe God is with me on the journey. Today, I'll start trying. Holy Spirit I need your help.

Thank you for writing this book! Looking forward to studying together. 💕💕💕

Love this even though I am a forgiving person, I still feel that I do have bitterness and resentment and have convinced myself that is ok with the excuses I have provided. Tell you yourself something long enough and you start believing it.

Thank you so much for sharing your story! I would never imagine that I wasn't the only one feeling the feelings I have. I want so badly to let it go, give it to God and know it is "done". I am very excited about this study.

I’m looking forward to this study, I bought Lysa book several weeks ago for me and a friend not realizing you were going to have a Bible study about this, so I’m ready to heal.

I loved, "God wants to tend to my hurting heart!" So thankful for this study and looking forward to our 6 weeks ahead!

what a beautiful message. Thank you for sharing this message of forgiveness. I have been working on forgiveness for years. Your message has encouraged me and helped me to realize that "Forgiveness starts with God as he has already provided... simply I just need to cooperate." you dont know how powerful this message to me. I am sure many other sisters out there are blessed by this message and by Proverbs 31 Ministries. Praise God and thank you Lisa.

Oh I need this study. I have been there I have been hurt immensely and tried to forgive but just not there yet. Hoping this helps!!

My STRUGGLE with Forgiveness started from age 6-10 but I don’t want to share what happened to me but now I struggle to forgive myself from allowing things to happen to me when I was younger and then now after my son was moved to heaven in May due to a tragic car accident. PLEASE help me to forgive the person who was involved in the accident that killed him and for me to forgive myself for not being a better mom that morning when he called me. I say that because I don’t even remember our entire conversation and even if I told him I love him. I pray for the ability to forgive myself and for God to know that I need His help most of all to do this because according to the Bible He has already forgiven me.

FWYCF is Proverbs 31's 51st Bible study, and how symbolic: "Create in me a clean heart, oh God, and renew a right spirit in me" (Psalm 51).

This book is exactly what I need for such a time as this. Lysa mentioned how the deep hurts from the past affect our current relationships. This is why I need this study right now. There are so many layers of hurt, like peeling an onion. Here I am, a lonely onion in a petunia patch, crying all day! It is time to take the truth from God’s Word and put it into step by step practice. Thank you Lysa for showing the way. You are genuine and gifted. Bless you!

I love Lysa 😩🙌🏽 she’s always so real

Processing this book and Study Guide with Jesus is life changing. Jesus revealed ever so gently to me forgiveness (es) I was not even conscious of; and that was just in the first lesson! This ministry is a beautiful catalyst! I highly recommend any and all.

Yeah! I have been looking forward to your message!

I tend to lay my problems at the lords feet then turn around and take it back.I look forward to this journey and hope to be free’d from all that binds me down.I would love to be selected to win this book.

This book is phenominal!!! It was exactly what I needed at this time in my life. Thank you Lysa 🥰🥰🥰

Oh I need this

Thank you, looking forward to this study. I am open to learning and healing!

Wow what a strong message. I am literally in tears as I listen to you Lysa. I am excited to do this online study.

Amazing, found P31 Ministries on You tube! Now I feel complete and ready for our online Bible study journey..! Amen..

I forgave early because I had learned the value of forgiving, yet I was still constantly hurt by his new actions. Just reading a few pages I realised I never had the okay to hurt. My daughter was fighting her own battles and my focus was on her. Your words "..the process of working through all the emotions from the impact of what happened will likely take place over a period of time." Thank you for showing me, even when we forgive, emotions still need healing.

Thank you both. I loved this. Can’t wait to learn more about healing and forgiving.

Wow, I'm a little late getting started but she shared so many truths that were stirred in my heart today.

I went through kind of the same thing several years ago and after time had gone on, I knew that in order to have a right relationship with God, I needed to have a right relationship with my ex husband. I needed to ask for his forgiveness as well as forgive him. I started praying for the perfect opportunity to have a time of forgiveness and reconciliation with my ex and God made it happen. Most wonderful moment in our lives to have all the hurt and bitterness fall away. Simply miraculous. I’ll never forget that time and will always be grateful to God for it.

I feel very numb after an experians of unexplaned pain from a betrayal. I feel a big seperation between God and me after all.i really miss to be deeply conected with my creater.but somehow i lost the conection and latly more realizing that even the will to follow and longing to fight for it and get closer to him and feel his presents and that he still really cares about me.im starting to become careless,i ask for prayers that God will come though this feeling of seperation and what ever is keeping me seperated from him that he will show me to clear it up an be back conected to him!

I pray the Lord gives me access to this book. This study is definitely what I need right now. I enjoyed the video so far and I am looking forward to the study! Thank you ladies ❤️

Such a good interview. Thank you Lysa TerKeurst and Melissa Taylor.

Great start to this Bible study. Thank you Lysa!

Thank you Lysa for once again sharing your life with us and being so transparent. Thank you for your obedience to God ~ writing this book that will help us begin the road to forgiveness ❤️ HUGS ❤️

Thank you for sharing your story and encouraging others to work towards forgiveness. I think another aspect of forgiveness is learning to forgive yourself for excepting unacceptable behavior. Something I’m working working on daily.

How do you forgive someone who does you wrong all the time? Where trust is constantly broken? I'm doing this study because I live in a place of of bitterness anger and constantly being guarded

You have to process your feelings and go through the feelings to let them go.

Thank you! I am ready to learn how to forgive.

Loved it

Wow that’s deep. So relatable. Didn’t realise stuff about myself just listening to lysa 🥺🥰 is that book available on iTunes book store or kindle amazon?

I need help letting go of in forgiveness bitterness and to learn to forgive and much is my past also and my loved ones such as my Aunt my younger brother my brothers friend a man by the way, my mom also. I've tried but I'm afraid they'll keep on hurting me. Even my niece and nephew have hurt me by asking deeply personal questions at such a young age of 5 and 3. I'm childless and they don't understand why

Question: reading the book with a friend and was wondering what chapters are covered in each weeks videos? Thanks!

Hope I can join this study

I would like to know how to order the book

Good evening Everyone! I'm so so ready to be a part of this awesome study...I do not participate in Facebook or IG and was wondering if the study sessions (OBS) are available in RU-vid?

Shipping for the book is $30.00, is there an online version of the book and the journal?

Sorry I'm a bit late on this one

My 15-year-old son was murdered by my ex-husband's girlfriend two years ago. She came out of her bedroom with a gun and shot my son in the neck. She had known him for 6 years and her kids adored him and he adored her kids and the reason she did it is not known. She and my ex-husband were aruging and my son was going to give her a hug goodbye. She claimed she was going to use the gun on herself but yet my son is the one who was shot and murdered. I, by the grace of God, have not experienced hatred and I said from day one I refused to let what she did change me, she changed my life forever in 3 seconds but she does not get to change who I am at my core. My son was 6 feet 5 inches at 15 and was known as the "gentle giant." He was an advocate for those who were being bullied and detested violence. His legacy was he left people better than he found him and I have chosen to honor and remember him by carrying out his legacy in my words and actions. One of many a-ha moments in this book was that forgiveness has two parts, I have forigven that it happened but I have not allowed myself to feel anything towards her as I refuse to give her that control, but i am now at a point that I am ready to begin to open the door to processing my feelings about her and what she did and although I do not hate her as that takes too much energy and hardens my heart, I have not forgiven her or even started that process yet, I have been indifferent in my feelings to her. I don't waste my time and energy thinking about her. I do know that I do need to begin the process. I first saw this book about 6 months ago but was not ready to go there yet. I did, however, tuck it in the back of my mind and I did begin to read it a week ago and it is fabulous and I can relate to so many things in the book. My ex-husband was extremely abusive to me for 19 years before I got out and eventually remarried my high school sweetheart 8 years ago. What happened to my son, was unimaginable and still is to me, but, through the tragedy and devastation my ex-husband and I have become good friends and he is starting to reconcile with his other two adult children, Jonah would be so proud of us and, even though he is still in heaven, he is still brining people together and sharing his huge heart and love. Thank you for this book and for all the self-reflection and a-ha moments as I have been collecting, connecting, and correcting the dots. Laurie

In the bible 'Forgiveness " does not mean what we think it means... You know ,letting your family member off the hook for the sake of family peace and harmony ... We all do that at one time or another ..the abuser never stops but we achieve a truce because the other person will do nothing...... Forgiveness in the Bible means, to let this go..hand it over to God.. Do that as well as moving out of reach of a toxic situation ...You are not supposed to put your mental health in danger ..You walk away and worry no more...

I'm suicidal everyday due to consequences of my mother's abuse I can't seem to function nó more i can't sleep awake all night and terrifed of each new day as I cannot live with reality óf what she did to me

Looking forward to really forgiving...not just words, but feeling it. Sorry I’m here and for the many others as well, but grateful I am too, double-edge sword. Resentment, hurt, bitterness and anger...yuck...wash it clean please.

We need to stop calling it “forgiveness”. Rather it’s “letting go”. Nothing pushes me further from making peace than smarmy people telling me the only way I’ll be okay is to forgive. Forgive means it is okay, because it is used that way no matter what the dictionary says.