Have been going back and forth on how to show the sometimes lows of married life without whipping out a camera during a screaming match haha. I’ve been worried lately that we’re going down a dangerous road of painting ourselves as this happy-go-lucky couple living through a romantic montage (which is a usual editing style of mine... whoops). And though most do assume we have the highs and lows everyone has, some only take what they see on RU-vid or social media. The term “couple goals” really disturbs me, and I see it some under our posts. That makes me worry that I’m misrepresenting my life. I love documenting my life, and I do have a good one, but I want it to be accurate. Sometimes I over-romanticize my reality. This is just meant to be a simple day-in-the life style. I couldn’t help but throw in some editing flair, because that’s just me. But hopefully this works alright. As always, appreciate y’all watching. Hope you’re having a great week, and I’ll be here to respond to comments shortly
@10:19 "I'm gonna be a bitch..." 🤣(x10) For real, for real I can relate to every syllable in the paragraph. Fits me to a T. I am glad I am not the only man-bitch in the world. 😎🤝
Great video as always. Give each other some space and be thankful that you have each other. As hard as spending a year of quarantine together may be, it is far better than spending a year of quarantine alone.
My husband and I have been married 14 years. One of the most powerful tools for maintaining our relationship is "clean slate." When we have been arguing or getting on each others nerves, but there isn't a specific thing that needs to be resolved, we call a "clean slate." Once both of us say clean slate, we don't go back and revisit any of the things we were being cranky about. It has worked for us.
I can't. To me calling a clean slate is just as same as holding it back and then after the angers gets accumulated to a point i'll explode yrs of pent up angers and resentments. And at this point there's no way to fix it, after we fought although we gonna get back to normal, but my hope for our love will reduce A LOT, then this repeats itself a few times until I got no hope left and i'll want to exit from the relationship.
I think the part you missed is that we only clean slate when there is nothing specific still to be resolved. Sometimes fighting stops being about something that needs to be resolved. And both people are just being cranky. That is the perfect time for a clean slate.
@@hworth And yall can be unmad at each other just like that? Idk, I don't think I can do that. A lot of times even though there is nothing to be solve, but i'm still mad, and when i'm mad I don't want that person to touch me or talk to me. And I can't just unmad myself like that and be all happy and stuff. I think I am a revengeful person. lol
This is the most raw, non-clickbaitey video I've seen in almost ever. No one ever show this side of their lives. It's heartwarming to watch. Love you guys❤️
Gents: You're experiencing what all couples/families are going through right now due to quarantining together for the past year. Suggestion is to do chores separately; one does the grocery shopping while the other cleans house. You each need some alone time once in awhile. Your love will get you through these rough times. Also plan some time together to do something special that you both enjoy - it can be something as simple as dinner or picnic lunch in backyard.
We were healing individually and hoping that time will heal us all completely. I just wish i was more stronger so they can all lean on me but things happened and i was caught off guard.
I am in a relationship with my guy for 19yrs now going into our 20th, and I will tell you, we fight almost everyday from our 1-10th year. But we agreed on one thing, no carry over anger or argument on to the next day. sleep and wake up on a clean slate no matter what! argument is a type of bond, I remember in one of my arguments, I even told my partner that at the end, the only person who I wanna argue with is him and not someone else....
I love Zach and Alistair, they’re so open about their relationship and prove they’re not perfect people but that they really love each other, and they’re perfect for each other.
Yeah, it’s really brave of them to put this out there. So important for people to see that relationships take work and self-reflection to succeed. And that no relationship is perfect.
I may be sitting next to you, but I’m watching this again and it’s one of my favorite video’s you have done, Zach. Btw I will be awaiting the release of the #AlastairCut in black/white and 4:3 ratio...
You guys will be ok. All couples fight, what doesn't kill ya makes ya stronger. Trust in your love for one another & you will get through this rough time. Life right now with the virus is causing lots of stress for all of us. Go to him, hug him & tell him you love him. Hugs bro. :)
This is what it’s all about guys... you’ll look back on this and love the memories, trust me... Zach... listen to him... just don’t hear him... he opens up for you easily and your not opening back. Tell him what you tell us on the camera, he needs to hear it from you, not the footage... Love y’all.... Xoxoxoxo
Yeah, made me so itchy.....please don't do that again. You WILL FORGET it one day......AND it's too bad on my nerves, cause it was a long year with long weeks and long days....
He has, if I'm remembering an older video correctly... not certain... could have been Mikey, on another tuber's channel I follow. Frankly, I'm far more concerned by the sorry state of that Target. Daayyummmm! Stock your f'ing SHELVES already!
I'm going to give you advice that my Sister has said about her marriage. They had the best marriage I've ever seen in my life, so much respect. Unfortunately, he died of cancer a few years ago. 😒 She said, NEVER EVER say ANYTHING out of anger. You can never take words back that have already been spoken. Someone may get angry and say, " Why did I ever marry you", They may not mean it, they just meant to be hurtful for the moment, but unfortunately, that person will always have that in the back of their mind, It could be any sentence that someone will never forget. I also NEVER heard them say anything derogatory about the other, ever, not even jokingly. They had so much love and respect for each other and it was so comfortable and refreshing. Just remember this always, you never know how much time you have left with each other, don't have 'those' regrets.
You boys never disappoint, even the so called arguing video ends up being so wholesome and heartwarming. I almost lost it when Zach said, “Don’t come for my husband or I will come for you.” You two are so adorable.
Please be gentle with each other. Life's too short to miss out on loving moments. The more calm communication that takes place, the less oxygen is available for conflict to fester. Ask "what do you need from me?" The day to day aggravations are for resolving quickly and setting aside. Take it from someone who has put a soulmate's ashes in the water. Love you guys.
Communication Communication Communication talk thru everything, don't scream, shout, and slam things. Talk thru it before days end. Never go to bed mad. Love you guys!!!!!
Between long separations during Alastair's deployment, now being together every waking moment due to Rona and the fact that Zach seems work from home, not to mention having your lives on RU-vid, you guys have had 10-15 years of marriage stress in just three, you're STILL getting to actually know each other, it takes so many years to really know another human beings ins and out (no sexual innuendo intended lol) that you need to take a deep slow breath and take off the pressure, give yourselves a break. Evertime you find yourselves getting angry or frustrated at each other, just sit down together and watch your Proposal and Hitched videos and remind yourselves why you got married in the first place, you love each other deeply and want to spend your lives together, everything else is just f*cking details.
My partner and I have a rule that no matter how mad we get, we never “sleep on the couch”. We hold each other, back and forth, throughout the night. It’s hard to stay mad when you wake up holding each other. We’ve been together 28 years.
Let me tell y’all something 1. Going to the in-laws is time to relax 2. If there is no passion to film ...don’t film ..until you feel inspired 3. Couple watch Movies together Movienight ..it’s must! 4. Y’all ready had covid ..so go out and socialize! 5. no egos ..goes out the door! 6. Remember stress cause to burst out anger duh 7. Getting angry is normal because remember y’all have long way to go together! 8. Y’all remember y’all BabyBoys ❤️ 9. Remember y’all are bless 👬
What the actual fuck ZACH, you really just made me cry watching this. The joy from you two and your videography...just damn. Wish you both everlasting love and happiness.
I pride myself, in my relationship of almost 9 years now, that my partner and I have grown to ALWAYS resolve an argument rather than stay mad at each other, communication is such an overlooked important factor in a relationship’s longevity, oh, and good sex helps too. 😁
I think Zack, as Alastair said, is very matter of fact. He makes up his mind how something is going to be and that's that. Maybe the reason he's that way is because he has a fight or flight personality and often feels like his life can get out of control easily if he doesn't take charge. Alastair on the other hand is the fixer and the caretaker. He wants to make everything ok and solve all the problems so everybody is happy. But it's exhausting for him sometimes. Both of you have strong personalities, and you each deal with stress very differently. And that causes friction when you don't have time away from each other. What you're going through is totally normal in a married relationship. At the end of the day you both come around and see through the other's eyes.
I see this too. I also see that Zach isn’t willing to work on his anger management. “I’m not that type of guy” (who takes the high road) and “When In angry I just want to be left alone because I don’t want to snap at him” are both pretty concerning. It’s better to learn how to talk through a problem instead of avoiding it by fuming in a room by yourself. Zach, if you read this, I hope you realize that you *can* be any type of person, including one who processes strong emotions with grace and compassion for yourself and for others. Therapy can help a lot here.
My wife and I (same-sex marriage) have been together 21 years. Amazing ups, but we’ve had our share of lows. We do say things in anger. We yell. But we laugh, do fun adventures together, and we’re committed to each other. We support each other’s dreams. The pandemic has been rough on us. We’re both working at home. We have a teen and a child with special needs. This means remote learning. So the past year has sucked. But we accept that it’s sucked and keep moving forward. Allow each other grace and space. Marriage is hard work. Anyone who says otherwise is a damn liar.
Dear Zach and B you were me and my husband for 18 years through good and bad you will survive I wish I had just 10 minutes with my husband he died if Cancer and
All I have to say is that I absolutely love love love watching you guys. The fact that you share so much of your real selves is so inspiring. As a licensed mental health therapist I am smiling. I wish you both all the happiness and continued love.
The dishes, the justice league, the "NO's" -- you guys have never been more real or more adorable. "Mr. Grumpypants!" "You really didn't watch it?" You both have deep hearts and we love you.
My favorites video parts 1. “ I woke up ready to be petty” 🤣 2. Allister “I start to lock you out of the HBO accout” 🤣 2. I’m sorry Eugene, I’m not wearing that.” But the very next clip you have it on. 🤣 Proof it's not what you say but what you do. You guys are so thoughtful and funny. Thanks for sharing and just being real ✌️
You know what, you are so normal .... no wonder you love each other so much. This is the life of a couple, just a normal life. Dont worry about it. It is the sigh of a long and loving "real" relationship. The reconciliations are so good. It is all worth it.
Zach and Alastair, a relationship, of any kind, takes work to make it flourish, and a marriage, even more-so, I think. And, when it’s a marriage between two guys, all the pressures of society, make it even more intense. There are so many out there that want to see it fail. My hubby and I have been together almost 19 years, and I’m here to tell you that what you’re experiencing is totally “normal” in the sense that not everything is 100% OK, 100% of the time. Couples have disagreements all the time. And, what’s important here is to make the distinction between a disagreement and an argument. In my mind, and I’m no expert, a disagreement is something you have that is often a trivial thing (like what movie to watch), whereas, an argument is of a more serious nature. The topics in your video seem like they are of the former. I’m happy to see that you guys took some time to talk, rather than yell, as that’s what I feel is important. You’ve got to be willing to talk it through, rather than it getting “heated” and one of you saying something that leaves any regrets. In the end, communication is the key to a long and happy relationship. I know you’ll get there, and I’m rooting for you all the way!!! If you’all want to vent, I’ll always be here to listen. Much love to you both, from William in Mesa, Arizona. ❤️❤️❤️
WHOA you guys made me cry thinking about how relationships can get caught up and damaged in the heat of the moment . REMEMBER the person you fell in love with & think about how you would feel if they were no longer in your life . As a single gay man who has lost love take time to love & build each other up . God bless . ❤ Mark (Toronto)
Something about this video was really cathartic. I know this must have been a difficult one to put together, so thank you both for sharing. This year has been tough on us all in many different ways. I hope you guys are being kind to yourselves. Also: "I'm not wearing that." I laughed SO hard.
At last, a real post. Normal, silly, irritated, tired and it's not always smiles. Space, breathe, thinking before saying something hurtful and put things into perspective where others could be worse off maybe with domestic violence, no access to food, money or toilets or feeling suicidal. We're in this together. Hey a good walk in the woods, park or beach is always good.
Remember how much you guys missed each other when he was deployed and you would have given anything to just be together? First world problems, guys. You love each other and you are strong together.
I actually really appreciated this video. My fiancé and I are getting married in June and him and I have been fighting a lot lately over stupid little things. I have ALWAYS watched RU-vid couples and have only seen this picture of a perfect happy couple but I don’t see what happens behind the camera. This video has helped me see what really happens so thank you for that! We can’t forget that life is short so we have to love no matter what!
This pandemic is taking its' toll on everyone and I feel it as well as you two. Sometimes we just need to take a deep breath and take a 'time out' but, don't ever give up.
This quarantine stuff is doing everyone's head in lol so this is normal to be arguing a little more than normal cause we are all on edge. Love you guys
Once again one of the best parts of any day is watching the video artwork created by Zach and Alastair. Some smiles, a good laugh and a few tears. You guys are just so effing good at tugging at the heartstrings. Zach, I hope you never give up your dream to be a filmmaker because dude, you got mad talent for this medium!
Omg...guys.. my husband and I have been together for decades. Lmao. I think in all the years we've been together we have screamed or hollered at each other 4 or 5 times. We get irritated and annoyed with each other at times, but in the end we love each other. Disagreements or being annoyed is part of life. Just always remember how much you love each other. Forgive and move on. That's the key. Btw...the last part of the video when you were playing in the hall was one of the sweetest things ever! Much love from the 2 old guys ❤️❤️
Gay and Married for 19yrs., going on 20 this year. I'd like to add that you can't be everything for partner. They can and should have there own interests. Don't put the expectation on each other that you have to share everything. Remember also, being right isn't always the way. The saying...Pick your Battles is an apt explanation. Finally take the time do something random together. Something neither of you know or experienced before. It'll help you both by creating a real shared experience and sometimes you might learn something new about each other to like/love. Hugs from Melbourne, Australia.
Love the honesty. Sometimes in relationships we have trials & it’s up to us to get through them. I’ve been with my husband for 16 years. Sometimes I hate that fact, but at the same time I can’t see myself without him. Sometimes you have to miss each other to be able to love each other.
Guys, bickering is part of a relationship!! Everyone in one does it. A lot of times we bicker with the guy we love because we are unhappy with ourselves. That is, we get into a down spiral, we're momentarily unhappy and start bickering, and many times feel like crap because we did---it's a merry-go-round! You just have to ask yourself if you want to stop seeing "him", and if you get that little gulp in your throat, go talk to him , figure out what the matter is , and kiss him!
Zach, after reading this book our relationship drastically improved. Once you understand how the other person thinks you can tailor your communication (what you can control) Emotional Intelligence 2.0. In the past 10.5 years we have not had a FIGHT. We may have disagreed but we knew how to communicate with each other.
Not to worry, we're all human and you both go through the same ups and downs of life as we all do. Relationships are constantly evolving and we have to work at a healthy balance. The foundation of all relationships, is that you're each others best friend.... On that strong foundation, the love can build and be strong to get you through most things in life, but it takes the two of you to do it *together!* Plus, another important factor is to communicate.........We appreciate all that you share with us, but we know you have to keep some personal matters, private. We support you and understand. Hugs from British Columbia, Canada and please stay safe and healthy (everyone). : )
and maybe that’s why he’s burned out. having alot of free time isn’t always good. alistair can be another guy outside their home, their marriage. he can be alistair the marine, alistair the husband, alistair the colleague but zack is just always home, he’s always just zack the husband, sure he can be zack the writter or zack the youtuber but even that alistair is still a part of that zack. zack actually needs a breather. you know? i can’t explain it well but i hope you get what i was trying to say
@Kris C...... I have always had an "almost but not quite" feeling about Zach in all of his endeavors. Zach parents split last year and his Mom was terribly hurt if I remember correctly. I think Zach has some issues, Alister is a rock.
14:53 Am I the only one, who gets a little nervous, when Zach places his phone on the shelf? 😅 I almost talked to my screen: "Hey, make sure you don't forget it." No offence though, I'm probably too anxious. 21:31 Hilarious editing. 😂
Remember too that Covid -19 "Long-haulers" are experiencing many different types of neurological effects from their illness. One of them is intense irritability seemingly out of nowhere. Panick and anxiety, nerve pain to name a few are are also being observed. Hang in there guys and remember to be easy on yourselves and each other. Much love from your neighour to the North. p.s. - We had more snow here today but the light at the end of the tunnel is visible and my arm is V'd and no problems. Feeling fortunate and grateful.
It's exciting to see two young men so honest and willing to share so much. My partner and I have been together for 26 years and after a disagreement we always find a way to apologize and say the words, "I'm sorry"...there is something about verbalizing it which has meant so much to both of us. Thanks for sharing.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs." Corinthians 13:4.
@@keith.wilson1981 Oh yes it does. I loved someone to the detriment of my own personal safety, health, and sanity. You can love someone so much you'd die for them, but that doesn't mean that person is right for you.
@@FrogAndTurtleGaming What you're describing isn't love. It's infatuation, attraction, obsession, passion, compulsion, etc... If it fades, then it is not love. Love means I love you today, tomorrow, there, here, when you're no longer with us. Mature and unconditional love goes well beyond chemical reactions and physical desires. People like to label every feeling that someone stirs within us as love. It is not.
@@jm7804 Actually, I fell in love with a man who, 15 years later, died in my arms as a result of lymphoma. It's been 11 years and I miss him everyday, but if I'm honest, I'm also glad he's gone. I do actually believe love is patient and kind, but it does fail, and it is also flawed, and impatient, and selfish, and Human. And it most definitely does fail.
Welcome to the roller coaster of marriage and love. That's why we have a big metal bar across our laps to hold on to and to get through the toughest parts! That metal bar is called communication!
Listen guys this is the stuff in life we all struggle with in relationships. It is clear you both love each other if there is deeper stuff...then deal with it. I've been with my husband for 32 years and there are good times and rocky times but above it all is our love for one another...my money is on you two...love your blog!
dude not even a few minutes in and it really hits me how real this is. I live with my bf and these weeks are definitely a reality. We have way more highs than lows, but when you hit those slow rough spots where it's just a like a couple days of friction, it can feel so overwhelming. Thanks for sharing Zach.
This is exactly what me and my partner have been doing has well. Life is so stressful and hard. You guys are doing a great job it’s good for you guys to vent and be honest just get it out move on. I hope this year is easier on you guys, I’ve had a difficult start to the year I haven’t seen my family in 3 years and I won’t actually most likely see them till 2023. I see the love you guys have and it’s so strong I see a lot of us in you guys. You both still look so cute and beautiful I have so much love and respect for you thank you for sharing parts of your private life I know I appreciate/ respect you guys immensely. Stay strong guys hopefully one day you both can come to Australia 🇦🇺 and relax xxxx
That why I stay alone. Don’t want to deal with other drama I don’t need. If someone frustrates me I just walk away. And when I’m away, I try to find another solution to bypass what got me frustrated. If it’s someone, I let them be. I don’t need all the bullshit from others. That’s me! Lol! And I’m happy all by myself!
The times of Covid have been pretty bad on everybody. Even worse when you actually get Covid together. WOW ! Me & husband have been married 20 years and have never been that sick together. I think the ones of us that can talk it out - and stay together through this. Wow ! Strong relationship - hopefully with the vaccine rolling out things will get better. I think you guys need a trip to look forward to or set aside time to do something each of you want to do alone. You got this. Love you guys. Stay safe !!! 💋-Sherry
Yes - all people who live together either need to live in a large house with separate bedrooms (and only sleep together when you want to), or time scheduled apart and around other people. The worst is when your boyfriend decides you have to be a clone of him - telling you what movies, music, clothes, etc. you should like and which you shouldn't. Finally you're like "hey this is me, take it or leave it - I don't order your life around, so don't order mine!"
Exactly me and my bf have our own rooms and we do our own thing, whenever I wanna sleep with him I go to his room and it’s nice. But it’s also nice to have your own room. Specially when you argue it’s nice to have separate rooms to go calm down and not get in each other’s way. It was a nightmare when we lived in a tiny one bedroom apartment.
I think the way this was done was perfect. Not only did it show the realness and break down the romanticized idea, but it also added so much more depth into the characters that we the audience know as “Zach and Alastair”. If that ain’t quality content I don’t know what is
I love that you show reality of a marriage. I've been with my husband since 2007. We've been through some really great highs and really horrible lows. It takes 3 of us for it to work, me, him, and our therapist. You learn over time to pick your battles and communicate effectively. Sometimes it's easy to forget what they really mean to each other in our day to day hustle. We need to honor the time we have together, especially during the pandemic. Be thankful you have each other to be with. But we are feeling the lack of socialization as well. We are also learning patience with each other over the last year. Marriage is difficult and takes work to make it succeed. You sound like me and my husband laughing at the stupid fights and calling each other assholes at the end of the day... 😂 We are both strong minded and stubborn! Keep appreciating and loving each other. ❤️
I haven’t even got to watch yet but went straight to comments hoping for clickbait. I would be heartbroken if something major ever happened between y’all.
Love is not blind! Love sees everything, that’s how it works, in silence but always watching! Sometimes it fights, or fights back, or just keeps on watching!when there is no love, there is nothing to watch!
I'm a firm believer that a couple that doesn't at least periodically argue is not thoroughly communicating. You're couple goals, not because you look perfect and always "appear" happy, but because you're perfectly paired and VERY CLEARLY love each other. You still struggle, you acknowledge your own flaws, you acknowledge each other's flaws. I particularly like this video because you express the real frustration from both sides.
This has been the toughest year that we'll all probably face in our lifetimes, and is challenging so many of us. We all need our space, and our social time, but at the end of the day, be grateful the two of you have each other -- and ultimately -- your love for each other. Love you two sharing part of your lives with us.
Zack and Alastair enjoyed watching your vid and how real it is. Your video was taking me back 25 years when me and the hubby were young and in the same situation. I like you Zach, am very bossy and demanding and the hubby has the same personality as Alastair. The advice I can give is talk, listen and compromise. Relationships aren’t perfect, don’t fret the little things, and (wash those dishes when you said you would)....lol. We are celebrating 28 years together this year and I wouldn’t change it for the world. Back in the days we had long time companions, so glad I can call my love my “Husband”. Best of luck young ones ♥️
