"Whales" - Jim Gaffigan Stand Up (Mr.Universe)

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So I went whale watching and I have some thoughts... Why are whales so fat? They have no excuse...
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Опубликовано:

2 окт 2024

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Комментарии : 421

@PortaPunch 4 года назад

One double edged sword about the internet age is that comedians get good exposure. The drawback is that they have their jokes out there for all to hear so they can't recycle them as often. Certain comedians I keep hearing their jokes over and over. Jim you do a great job keeping it fresh. Keep it up!

@stephenr80 4 года назад

thats like the best compliment really is not easy to build new sets I guess?

@lovelace8702 4 года назад

So very true. I didnt think he could make whales so funny!

@touristguy87 4 года назад

Try not actually logging into YT

@carrrexx7190 4 года назад

I love whale watching. I'm a greeter at Walmart.

@gailducrest8851 4 года назад

Car Rexx you are hysterical. Thanks.

@Robert08010 4 года назад

Well you know, they say if you can find joy in your career, that's a good thing.

@carrrexx7190 4 года назад

@@gailducrest8851 👍😷

@ericperkins3078 4 года назад

You can date 'em, too. So I've heard.

@codynelson7575 4 года назад

@Burr Anderson that's sad The customers are whales

@hockeyrd99 4 года назад

Everyone always comments that he's a clean comedian, but that never occurs to me when I watch him. I just enjoy the perfect timing and clever jokes. Funny is funny!

@Bacteriod 2 года назад

He actually said "SHIT" once in a bit he was doing, and it really stuck out. I was like "Heyyy he swore" lol. Love Jim, going to see him next weekend! Can't wait.

@uncleflansy5621 4 года назад

I've heard this bit a million times, so I'm just here to give it a like. Probably one of the best pure comedy bits ever.

@toddb1765 4 года назад

I have to agree!!

@jenniferstrickland3232 4 года назад

Pro-tip: don't watch this while rocking your infant to sleep; I couldn't stop laughing.

@aaryntaylor 4 года назад

This man just picks random animals and then does a bit on them for way longer then you expect. I love it. Do cows next .

@brdrake765 4 года назад

And then adds a voice of a random complaining woman from the crowd (probably inspired by his wife’s comments to his thoughts) 😂 or he’ll do the same thing with food.

@ryanwitkowski3995 4 года назад

He has 10 min of horse material worth a google

@aaryntaylor 4 года назад

@@michaeldoran4367 I didn't even notice that. Wow, hats off.

@Maliceah 4 года назад

But then you'd expect it.

@relaxedguy 4 года назад

Just watched that with mom, awesome!

@terryhaines8351 4 года назад

When listening to Jim Gaffigan, I am constantly wiping the laughter tears from my eyes! He is beyond hilarious!

@feliciataylor3772 4 года назад

@Terry Haines It's okay as long as you aren't "wailing" from distress. 😉

@theresaandrade8261 4 года назад

"Pelican with machine gun" 😂😂😂😂

@julietrain4383 4 года назад

he takes the most normal subjects and turns them a masterpiece 😂😂

@vinces8974 Год назад

He’s a comedy genius

@jamesschmidt2160 9 месяцев назад

Whales, manatees, horses, and of course, hot pockets!!!!!

@benr77 4 года назад

next Dominos product: bread in a bread bowl sprinkled with breadcrumbs, and your drink in a bread cup

@MWeatherbear 4 года назад

“If fat made a noise it’d be blub ber” LMAO 😂😂😂

@aquacrocwherry3321 4 года назад

Whales sound like they had one too many pasta bread bowls

@petermyers479 4 года назад

Funniest clean comic in America.

@johnblake5962 4 года назад

Him and brian regan are the most clean comedians but also imho the most consistently funny comedians out there. Their material just doesnt age

@hayleychase4619 4 года назад

Tim Hawkins, though

@hineighbor 4 года назад

Brian Regan, and Jerry seinfeld obviously

@jeffreykamke 4 года назад

Jim and Tim Hawkins are the best

@boxadorsrus5991 4 года назад

My wife and I just love Jim Gaffigan. Other clean comics can be found on RU-vid at DryBar comedy.

@AnnaPxx 4 года назад

The entire skit is one killer joke after the other. And the different voices! Also he cracks up nearly every time he does that brilliant whale sound 🤣

@kathleenaltherr6836 4 года назад

This is so darn funny. My husband and I used to live on the beach in VA and this routine is still a part of our conversation when we need to laugh. The best ever. Thank you, Jim, for all the laughs. As a nurse, I can tell you that laughter is sometimes the best medicine.

@Ozzie1420 4 года назад

Whales getting old and losing control of their blow holes is where I had to sign off, I just didn't sign in for that! Besides, I'm 81, nuff said??? Where did Mark and Charlotte Ritchey Go?

@JohnnyMuzak 4 года назад

@@Ozzie1420 you should have stuck around its just getting good, the dominos pizza bit is gold

@CWBella 4 года назад

"When are you a captain and when are you just a drunk guy with a boat?"

@JamesWilson-vr3ql 4 года назад

We should call them "boatless".

@MegaPainLove 4 года назад

He just seems like he would be way cool to hang out with.

@hockeyrd99 4 года назад

Maybe have him over for a Domino's Pasta Bread Bowl!

@julieyamada4328 4 года назад

Thank you Jim Gaffigan for making my day. Daily. Really.

@jimgaffigan 4 года назад

thanks

@marktoombs6276 4 года назад

He is hilarious.

@Sponsorship4u2 4 года назад

@@jimgaffigan You have truly helped me (and many of us) keep our sanity during this pandemic! Between working from home, Homeschooling and cooking like I work in a prison cafeteria daily I am truly exhausted Your comedy is a lifeline to my sanity!!

@orleansartist6095 4 года назад

I have never heard a comedian whose jokes are just as funny even when Ive seen the special before. I love the voices, the self deprecation, the new way he thinks abput things.

@jeffs6090 4 года назад

Holy crap....."the Domino's effect"!!🤣🤣🤣

@ascetic3312 4 года назад

I don't think any other comedian ever makes me laugh as much as Jim Gaffigan.

@DMO-DMO-DMO 4 года назад

Seeing him live I practically wrecked my abdomen from laughing so much

@litoxxlito_axx7318 4 года назад

His materials are so clean and funny at the same time, it’s beautiful

@hockeyrd99 4 года назад

"The old whale-geography-diarrhea joke.. coming in handy"... nice to know it's there when you need it! lol My all time favorite routine of yours. Thanks for the laughs Jim!

@jeremybaca2293 4 года назад

“Just like Mama Domino used to make” 😂

@jaykyleph 4 года назад

Speaks whale better than dory.

@jasonerb2577 4 года назад

I used to order the chicken alfredo bread bowl at Perkins 20+ years ago when I was in college. I graduated fat. #relatable.

@AnthonyHafciojoni 4 года назад

I haven’t laughed this hard 4 ever 😝🤪🤣 You👉

@samhouston1979 4 года назад

“Pelican With A Machine Gun” is going to be my Metal Band name

@myaries5829 4 года назад

Yes do it🎶🎶🎶

@ericperkins3078 4 года назад

Then I get Lion on a Jet Ski.

@sarahlarson2172 4 года назад

Eric Perkins YES!!!!! Nice. lol

@JD-go2qj 4 года назад

Domino's got rid of the bread bowl. I think it was because of your joke.

@Alina-su9jg 4 года назад

I miss those!

@JD-go2qj 4 года назад

@@easye5653 you can still get pasta in a foil pan, but I always got a cheese bread side. Bread bowl solved the issue and was so delicious. And yes they are covered in cheese. More like a light sprinkling, but certainly not non existent or an exaggeration 👍

@JD-go2qj 4 года назад

@Stephanie Logan picture all that delicious pasta resting on a warm bed of freshly baked bread. Gosh that's the best food porn 😂 I agree on little Caesar's. I like their cheese bread and deep dish pizza.

@hope5360 4 года назад

Have gone whale watching sooo many times! Luv the whole experience. One time dozens of whales were breaching all around us in every direction. We were near Plymouth, MA around July 4th. Really fun to see! 🐳 ❤⛴

@ginnymeljac2300 4 года назад

OMG! You were so hilarious! The sound effects! I just can’t thank you enough! This has been so very hard for me and all I want to do is laugh again. The Gaffigan’s are a super family! Stay safe! 💕💕🇺🇸😂😂

@LisbethAdams 4 года назад

My husband said Whales are the Eeyore of the SeaWorld. Must be. Your imitation of them brought me to tears.😂

@Hermes_Agoraeus 4 года назад

7:25 - I almost did a spit-take when I heard "died". Pro tip: don't drink anything while watching these.

@AhKiOye 4 года назад

Had me at the "whale geography diaherra" joke 🤣🤣

@xkil0wattx752 4 года назад

Indian Ocean joke murdered me

@Anonymous-gg4yv 4 года назад

Thank you, Jim Gaffigan! I have been a fan since "Beyond the Pale" and still have my CD's in clear, cracked, plastic cases to prove it! I see and appreciate what you and your family are doing to help us through quarantine.

@cbass5619 4 года назад

“Damn whales are all fat and lazy”...I didn’t know Arthur Morgan felt that way about whales 🤔

@yvettekelley2155 Год назад

Jim this is one of my favorite routines of yours I view it and crack up every time! Thanks for being you!

@Deepak19944 4 года назад

This is some brilliant content!

@dfrasu 4 года назад

Let’s get cookin’! SMACK! ....Oh,,wrong video...

@jylbek71 4 года назад

I ADORE you, Jim!!! Comedy at its best, truly.

@MisterTwister88 4 года назад

Jim you’re the best, Thank you for your humor

@nymalous3428 4 года назад

I would have watched this "live" but I was in the middle of a meeting... I almost did anyway...

@imacloud11 4 года назад

"& a distant third, the lion on a jet-ski" lost it 😂😂😂

@maeking5268 4 года назад

Every joke made me laugh! I have a terrible sense of humor (I'm joking I love your style of comedy)

@scottolson1105 4 года назад

I miss the old 90's slimy greasy pizzas, when i would be coming in off a 5 month boat contract the thought of Dominoes slimy pie was #2 or #3 on my list of things to do. The cheese was fantastic.

@lovelace8702 4 года назад

He takes the cake!! Blub-bler haha if fat made sound.

@kiltworm 4 года назад

There’s a level of Jim Gaffigan fandom where you fixate on Jim’s microphone tremors when it slips off his chin. That goes away eventually right?

@jimgaffigan 4 года назад

@suebrown3465 4 года назад

You managed to go from whales to pizza ...well played sir!

@cookinggrandma1 4 года назад

Not for nothing but the Panara mac and cheese bread bowl...just saying

@suzanne4504 2 года назад

Jim...this segment made me laugh way out loud! Thank you!

@aloofdragons625 4 года назад

"And for dessert? How about this. Bread." 🤣🤣

@brodyharris7631 4 года назад

FUNNIEST. COMEDIAN. EVER. I think you kids say GOAT

@MustPassTruck 4 года назад

I hit the subscribe button. What now? Are we going "hangout" or something?

@randomheadful7190 3 года назад

When I was a teenager, I used to wake my little sister up by yelling her name in whale language. I can’t hear people make whale noises without losing it. This bit kills me every single time!

@intendedviewer922 4 года назад

Do you get flattered anymore when people on here tell you you're funny? I mean, you must know that this is absolutely hilarious already right? 🖐😎

@mikeclarke952 4 года назад

"Excuse me, are you ladies from Scotland?" "Wales" "I'm sorry, are you whales from Scotland?"

@christinearmington 4 года назад

Thumbs up for wasting half a day! 😎🌎🤦‍♀️ Also, crimes against humanity!!! 🌎💀🤦‍♀️

@Elon_Trump 4 года назад

I Was feeling crappy today. You totally lift my spirits Jim thanks for all the laughs.

@jimgaffigan 4 года назад

Hang in w

@michaeltubbs272 4 года назад

I’ll say it again Jim’s the best

@Turco949 4 года назад

Leaderboard of Whale Killers: #1 Mankind, #2 Pelican with the machine gun ....and distant #3 Lion on a jet ski. LMAO!

@taylorkappers1470 3 года назад

The amount of times my friend and I have quoted this or the hot pocket bit.. I almost have it memorized by now 🤣

@novacollier9636 4 года назад

Well, I'm from Philippines, and we eat pasta with Rice😅😁

@eponymous_graphics 4 года назад

"I was just in the Indian Ocean and my stomach can't handle that" ... "The old wale geography diarrhea joke" ... brilliantly comedy writing ! these punchlines were always in the air ? this comedy and writing is similar to watching someone else invent something obvious ... "I could've thought of that !" ... but ya didn't now, didja ? thumbs up.

@joshuarobinson9 Год назад

"Let's take a look at the leaderboard of whale killers. Still number one, mankind, number two, the pelican with a machine gun," got me CRYING LAUGHING.

@EchoRhythmMusic 4 года назад

Carbolicious!

@kylestubbs8867 4 года назад

“Whale-watching is equal to water-staring.” -Demetri Martin

@mitsuomits9077 4 года назад

😄😄😄😄

@sarahlarson2172 4 года назад

Lmao

@RenEmell 4 года назад

Mr. Universe was the first time my family ever watched you, and we laughed out asses off! We still quote your jokes from this clip! Love it

@RedRonFJB 4 года назад

so that's what happened to your asses

@TheBankruptSoul 4 года назад

My favorite comedian. Such effortless comedy.

@EarthAltar 4 года назад

Made the mistake of taking a drink of tea at one point. You almost got me you bastard!

@jimgaffigan 4 года назад

@EarthAltar 4 года назад

@@jimgaffigan Thanks for all you do, Jim. Truly a master of your craft.

@ryanturner8577 4 года назад

Jim is doing us a great service by entertaining us during these times. Feels good to get some belly laughs in.

@funtastique 4 года назад

"The Sperm whale gets its name from the spermaceti organ which fills most of its huge head. In the 18th and 19th centuries, New England whalers sought out the Sperm whale for the valuable spermaceti oil, which makes an exceptionally fine lubricant." OKAY

@chwhite199202 4 года назад

Nick Nikolaev well thank you for the fun fact :-)

@HowToDoAnything777 4 года назад

How many jokes do you have about pasta bread bowls fella?

@josephyork4175 4 года назад

When I discovered that whales don't sleep (otherwise they'd drown), it kept me awake for weeks.

@bretthess6376 4 года назад

Actually they do. In calm weather, especially at night, they sleep with both halves of their brain; in foul weather they sleep with one half of their brain at a time. Cool huh? Additionally, they have an autonomic system that keeps them cycling between the surface and underwater between breaths while asleep.

@josephyork4175 4 года назад

@@bretthess6376 Thank you for the info. I can only sleep two to three hours at a time. I think I can relate.

@jbrown8601 4 года назад

@@josephyork4175 try chamomile tea, after some sort of excerise. It will knock you out

@libertygiveme1987 4 года назад

It's been awhile since I've seen this one. I FORGOT HOW HYSTERICAL IT IS!!!! Nobody does an "ITALIAN (MOBSTER) ACCENT" like Gaffigan!!!!

@happysmurfette 4 года назад

Luv the content, his gestures, facial expression & visuals he creates😆🤣🤣 he’s my top 3!! Brilliant. Thank You JG🐳🍕🥓🍟🥖

@happysmurfette 4 года назад

🕺🕺🕺

@happysmurfette 4 года назад

Roy G Biv ya riiight!!? He’s sssso good.

@veterantraveler 4 года назад

Living off the “blubberment” 😬

@_Mr.D 4 года назад

As the saying goes "There is no such thing as bad publicity". I suddenly WANT Domino's Pizza! Hell, I might even run to the coast and watch no whales as I eat my pizza

@readyupwait6138 3 года назад

My kids want to tell jokes bc I tend to make most of my friends laugh. I let them listen to a Jim gaffigan special and it resulted in my 2 kids saying hot pocket for 4 straight days 😂

@mehill00 2 года назад

That’s hilarious.

@Robert08010 4 года назад

Excellent!!!

@DefenderofFuture 4 года назад

"I was thinking sperm whale or booger whale" LMAO

@chatsagain 4 года назад

I'm dying 🤣🤣😂🙄🤣

@lxy7820 4 года назад

It doesn't matter how many times I've seen this, sad whale noise and "BLUB-BER" make me squeal laugh every time. And thanks for cussing on Twitter at the right time. That's good cussing!

@RedRonFJB 4 года назад

Jim that is Mr. Gaffigan must have been like this back in high school.

@stephenr80 4 года назад

brilliant business ideas always with old mafia accent xD

@Buzzygirl63 4 года назад

one of his best routines. I cried laughing the first time I saw this. 😂

@kennethboylan6130 4 года назад

I kept putting off the whale sketch because I thought, "How can you possibly make whales funny?" So glad I was wrong and finally watched it!

@solsister1223 3 года назад

You always make me laugh! This last year I lost my mom and my dog! It’s been hard. Your comedy has really helped! Thank you and don’t ever stop!

@ToruKun1 4 года назад

If you listen to the bit about Domino's Pasta Bread Bowls while looking at a photo of a Domino's Pasta Bread Bowl, it's even funnier

@rinprom8488 4 года назад

Hands down!! Best comedian on the planet! Only Jim can make me laugh my azz off. Thank you Jim!

@scottbauer5674 4 года назад

Last year, a record number of whales starved off Alaska (saw one). Still big, but apparently not fat enough.

@ShiftingDrifter 4 года назад

"Pasta in bread bowls? That's a sign of a serious eating disorder! [Gruff Voice] 'I was outta control! I was put'n pasta in bread bowls - was a matter of time before I covered it in cheese... I needed help!. I went to a meeting - it worked out.'" lol...

@mitsuomits9077 4 года назад

"What's tsa matta for you!?"😂😂😂😂

@robertkirkendall2010 4 года назад

Aren't Hot Pockets just miniature bread bowls? I'm now visualizing a lion on a jet ski.

@joyceannbarton2868 4 года назад

😂😂😂😂😂

@relaxedguy 4 года назад

Became a fan when I saw him live in 2006, Hot Pockets bit put him on the map.

@scottandrew8906 4 года назад

The guy can make anything funny 😂

@eopal-uk265 4 года назад

I like Jim - No vulgarity or disgusting language

@tonydecker1263 4 года назад

water weight😂🤣

@CoolAirVw 4 года назад

so funny!

@momobadilak 4 года назад

I watched this ...went to the kitchen to get some coffee .. then I heard myself going "uuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr" . laal. new term: ear whale