What’s the dumbest way a PC in your group has died? Part 1 (r/dndstories) 

"I roll to seduce the dragon!" "Okay, it's a top, roll for damage." Best ending ever.

To be fair, the bard that seduced the dragon went out like a legend

had a player decide since they were immune to fire they would climb over a mining chain lift to cross a lava pit, fails a climb check, falls into lava, fails a swim check, submerges into lava, fails a second swim, rolls a 1 on the fort save, drowns in lava.... there was a bridge less than 50 ft away that they knew about and another 150ft away they had already crossed.

I was the Dm. Party fought a horned devil. They ended up winning, but the monk had been hit several times and, as a result, was taking a lot of damage from infernal wounds. For some reason, the party (they were relatively new) didn't think using cure wounds would get rid of it. Right before I could tell them that cure wounds would work, the monk cuts in, "Just kill me. Then, use raise dead on me. That should get rid of it." I am crying inside. The fighter agrees and runs him through with a sword on the following turn, killing him instantly. The bard then digs through his backpack. Out of character, the player of the bard starts to tear up. "I, um... I dont have the diamond." Everyone's mouth drops. Every one turns toward the monk, who seems to have died inside. I never told the bard cure wounds would have worked. He already felt so guilty that he baited the party into killing the monk that I added a subplot to bring him back later.

I was playing a Goliath druid, he was very dense, not stupid, he just took things too literally, the DM had everyone roll a perception check once we had left the grounds of a dungeon we completed on a carriage, the PC in front of my druid on the carriage yelled "duck!", Me, who failed my perception roll, said "WHERE!", and the last 2 of my HP were demolished by a falling tree, critting me into the negatives.

I had a party member who refused healing when he was basically being grappled by this coat ghost.

Watched an enemy cast spell reflection, and threw finger of death at it.

Klunk is a boss. Talk about character progression

That moment when you have to choose between "certain death" and "new shiny loot".

We split the party once...

Ah the classic, "I don't care you're 4 in game miles away, why aren't you helping me fight this dragon in the sky?"

Somehow I haven’t died yet I’ve accidentally caused a earthquake and accidentally summoned a demon prince Now I understand y I’m number one suspect for the random murders

3:26 That Bard didn't die just a Stupid death... He died a Noble Death, saving his comerade. Damn did I laugh at it, but damn did my heart ache as well.

My friend was in the jungle and found a 60 foot long blind snake and decided that since it was blind he would go and pet it. It ate him in one bite

I had a party member who was being gross, so the others killed him

I've got one! This was an old, old edition of Shadowrun, and I was playing a Night One Shaman, basically Nightcrawler except with magic powers. My whole deal was sneaking into places, doing some magic stuff, and sneaking out. As luck would have it, one of the places I needed to sneak into was the terrible meth lab/drug storage apartment of a slum gang, and while I was doing my thing, one of the gang people decided to bust in for a fix. Not a problem, though, there was a fire escape right there! I rolled to leap out the window and shimmy down the ladder before I could get caught, and... ... botch. I lost my grip, tipped over backwards, and sailed majestically towards the ground. The GM was merciful, though, and allowed me another roll to see if I could grab on to the ladder as I fell. It'd probably yank something out of place, and wouldn't be the stealthiest thing in the universe, but... ... botch. All I succeeded in doing was making a loud clanging sound as I fwapped my hands against the ladder. Inches above the ground, the GM allowed one last, desperate, Hail Mary roll to see if I could save myself from a bone-cracking impact and, of course, of course, of COURSE... ... botch. Also, rolled damn near max damage. My awesome, leather-clad, Matrix-looking ninja-wizard died due to falling off a ladder, straight onto her neck. There are times the dice just do not like you.

When you smite your friend out of existence with a nat 20.

As a huge Borderlands fan (literally playing BL3 while watching this), I am impressed the 'Krieg' characteristics! Well played, perhaps we will hear more?

Oh, I just had a good one. So the party walks into a town and almost immediately see the clues aboul the Town Judge being unnaturally cruel. They go aboul their buiseness and the party Noble Dragon born Ranger, being a somewhat of an expert in justice, butt's heads with the Judge a couple times, including intervening into a trial as a defender, discovering that apparently the Judge has some Basiliscs in his dungeon and feeding them with prisoners. And as a cherry on top she manages to get the judge's young assistant, who is genuinely freaked out by this discovery, as a vitness they can bring to the local Lord and bring the Judge down. So as you can expect the Judge is kind of pissed at the moment. He knows that he's now he is running against the clock and needs to make a move to take overs the lord's Castle. Conveniently at about the same time the Lord invites the party to a dinner so they can share stories of their past heroic acts... (yes that was a subtle attempt to railroad the party into a position where they can defend the Lord from Judge's attack and fight the local BBEG... But in parallel the party Paladin and Warlock were investigating an alternative way to bring the judge down. The owner of the local luxury hotel/brothel, impressed by the way Paladin stood up to the Judge instead of covering in fear, she opened up a dark secret that the judge made a habit of coming to her establishment and having "fun" with one of the girls usually ending in a brutally mutilated corpse (in actuality the Judge was researching necromancy Jack-the-Reaper style) and that she would reward the paladin handsomely if he manages to get rid of the Judge... My intended way for the party to resolve this thread was to encourage the owner to present her case to the lord and be a vitness, with the BBEG fight happening when the Lord and his guards come to apprehend the Judge... The party however decided to play bait and ambush instead. So they dressed the party rogue as a hooker. And the party warlock went to the Judge to persuade him (using charm person if necessary) to go have fun with this hooker while paladin then spring the ambush and they murder him. So basically the warlock went to the BBEG lair alone. While the BBEG was pissed and in the process of raising zombie army and some shadow creatures to storm the lord's castle... The result - one of the zombies in the eventual BBEG fight had a familiar face...

I once had a party member willingly jump out of a fifth story building into a gaint fire monster. He then preceded to roll a nat 1 on his jump.

i broke into a nobles house to rob them. stole everything of value (setting off alarm i didnt know about) got hungry and went to kitchen to steal a sandwich. ambushed by 2 secret service and catch 2 crossbow bolts to the head (a 19 and a 20 both crit) insta death........ but i had my ham samich

My character has a deck of magic cards that he charges 10 gold to draw one, and they give the buyer a good or bad fortune/event. A player was tasked by an assassin to steal my cards or to do a different quest, and so while I was investigating a fainted body of a suspect of a crime, she goes in to try to steal the cards... from my front pocket. It fails miserably so she decides to just buy a card. The card summons an altar of death, who will perma kill her character in a fight. The player thinks “what if I kill myself?” So she tries to kill herself, and ends up with 1 HP left, my other friend decides to kill her, but for interfering with the fight, the altar of Death targets her now, and she successfully kills herself. Problem solved. The altar of death flies away and a healer friend heals them both.

Party: You know, we can take the tooth after it is dead again? Klunk: TOOOTHS FOR THE TOOOOTH GOD!!

my first character so i was dicking around while making it i ended up having their only trait be "suspicious" and the class was 'bard' with qoutes around it, so whenever i did something completely normal my allys thought it was suspisious and one rolled to shoot me with a cross bow, eight damage problem was i had eight hitpoints and zero armour i died first day

We... we were leaving the island of a red dragon, after I rolled Nat 20's for persuasion, and we had to wait 2 days for our ship to come back, so we used the row boats, got into the middle of the ocean, and needed food... so, my druid decided to shape water bring a fish out, grabbed the fish, bit the head off... choked on a fish head after speaking to a dragon.

A undead t rex puking zombies is very metal....I approve...

Maybe the druid never came back because he died in real life too.

Our DM made a homebrew campaign for me and two other friends. Over the course of the campaign, Friend 1 and I both come across Orbs that basically compliment our abilities based on our classes. Friend 2 is the last one to receive an Orb but obviously knows that it’s coming soon. After a particularly brutal battle, finds his Orb on the battlefield but it has a spell placed on it where it requires a saving throw in order for him to pick it up without causing damage. He rolls low several times in a row, losing all his remaining HP and dies.

Greatest D&D story ever is the time I joined a campaign midway through to help advance the story, since the group was entirely made up of new players and the DM was struggling to get them to advance the main story. Basically I am a Oogway like Tortle, sorcerer/monk class. I have a staff that is meant to be op because it can read or understand any language that is spoken or written down which it then translates to me. Drawbacks of the staff is once I leave the area I wipes my mind of anything I’ve learned until I return back to the area. Also it is has a curse that turns *any spell* that I cast into a wild magic spell. The party consisted of me, a fighter Goliath who throws axes, a sorcerer who has a pet void beast, a pyromanic rogue, a paladin who is very focused on his religion and jello boy. The group was on a quest to bring a boy who was turned into jello to a witch who could fix him. Upon reaching the house we notice something was moving inside of the house. The group spreads out around the house and enters. The Goliath decides to kick the door in, NAT 20, he proceeds to kick the door across the room through a window and almost hits our rogue. We continue on with the Goliath running up to every door and booting them all in. We go upstairs leaving the rogue to watch the stairs. Eventually we get to a room where when he kicks the door in it releases a grey ooze. We begin to back up and notice that there is black ooze dripping from the ceiling. We are now stuck between two oozes bent on killing us. We then see the rogue running passed terrified and we see a wraith floating up the stairs toward us. This wraith had been hunting rogue for his entire life and essentially was this campaigns version of death. The party is now caught between 2 oozes and death. The Goliath proceeds to break a hole into the wall and throw us all out of it. The fight begins with death floating down to meet us. Roll initiative and I get a NAT 20. No one in the group had a way to hit him...until I go to cast a spell. Wild magic activates... 18....dm rolls...20....last category 15.... Everyone makes a constitution check which is continue to roll high and roll a 16. My tortle plants his staff into the ground as the house gets engulfed into a black hole sucking everything and anyone in a 20 ft radius of it to another dimension. The party (except me) is still stuck in a dimension where everything is pink or purple and demons are the good guys.

In an ad&d game my Wizard got separated from the party due to a crypt thing or another monster with a similar ability. Regardless the embarrassment happened when after failing a perception check. A Piercer fell from above me DM rolled a 20 and max damage. Leaving my mage bleeding to death, never to be found.

My friend's character literally has his strength maxed out so when she hugged my OC I had to make a save and failed it which led to my character dying because their spine broke.

I was playing an elven rogue. The way I was introduced to the story was that I broke into a tavern, without choice. I couldn't even do a sneak check. I was found by one of the other pc's and he stabbed me. Nat 20.

This is why you don't taunt Beholders! their self esteem is low enough, they will never take it well and will always try to kill you immediatly. Also, include more of your own stories. Their fun, and it gives your channel more of a personal touch.

6:40 "NAT 18" hurts me. Is it just me, or does anyone else physically recoil when they hear someone say "NAT" before any number besides a 20 or 1?

Told this in an old video but it's too good to pass up lol. The cleric in our party was about to get stomped by a homebrew giant and as she was about to get stomped on it was my turn (dm said that the one with the highest initiative had a chance to do something and stop a pc death) so I casted otto's irresistible dance, however, I don't read the effects of spells until after I cast them around 25% of the time. Cleric died by a tap dancing giant. She gave me a look that looked like a combination of anger, surprise, disappointment, and hate. Rolled a Nat 20 on persuasion and was able to convince the party that the giant apparently liked to dance on his victims after killing them.

I have one of these stories, our party bard upset that our cleric didn't respond to him in the middle of the night decided to wreck his room further. Our cleric (who was drunk) and a guard comes in the room just as he hides himself in the closet. The bard kills the guard and I hear the thump from him falling on the ground come up and see the bard EATING the dead guard I killed him in 2 rounds. My character HATES cannibals, and yes I'm playing a paladin in this game (conquest and I'm Chaotic Good mind you). Mind you the player wanted to change characters anyway so no big loss on this one.

During a quest we had to be stealthy and steal a document. Our barbarian decides that stealth is overrated and decides to run in, essentially screaming "Leeroy Jenkins".

I only have a story about the dumbest way a PC ALMOST died. She tried to pet a camel mummy. An undead camel with the mummy template in 3.5. In the "wild". Not alone either. SHE. TRIED. TO. PET. IT.

As a party of four at roughly level 10 to 12, our group descended into a dungeon in the Underdark looking for the presence of a cult our Ranger was invested in, given that they had stolen his love about a year ago in game. With my Greater Find Steed, I sent my nightmare down one split in the path as the rest of us went the other way, with the three others leading the way for me. About halfway down, my Nightmare gets obliterated by a half dragon, so the party about turns and goes down that way instead. We had a fight with two Half-Dragons which wasn't tough, but it wasn't trivial either, a few spell slots were used. We go into the room they were guarding, and there is another two Half-Dragons, both of whom look much tougher, and Amira, a demon who had been disguised and hindered us earlier in the campaign. She isn't expecting us to have arrived so early as there is a only-just-completed teleportation circle in the back of the room, which she is in the middle of stepping away from. Nonetheless she is ready to throw down, but gives the classic cliche of "We only want The Ranger, give him to us, you will be spared, yadda yadda." This is obviously intended to be a mini-boss to drain us but allow us to cut down the Arconborn (the cult) chain of command. Our Ranger player says he wants a minute to think about this. "About what?" we all ask, to no response. Until about ten seconds later he gives his one million IQ response to Amira. "Ok." We're stunned and confused, the Half-Dragons are stunned and confused, Amira is stunned and confused - hell even Arcon was stunned and confused when the Ranger just appeared in his domain, alone, through the teleportation circle his minions had made. The Ranger spoke with Arcon as if he was interrogating him for a minute then tried to walk away to probably interrogate a few of the minions around the place. Arcon, being an Ancient Red Dragon, understandably incinerated the Ranger. 100 to 0, Insta-dead, ashes. The rest of us kinda just walked out once he turned himself over. Me, the Paladin, and the Cleric were here just because the Bard was there, neither of us at this point had an investment in the Ranger. Our own mission was elsewhere, or so we thought at the time - the cult was obviously connected later on. The Ranger was brought back by Bahamut, who gave him glowing eyes, a mission to resurrect golden dragons... and a put a few points into his INT. We had another scenario in the next campaign. The rogue (soon to be a multiclassed warlock) of this one is the same player who was the ranger. He was playing a slime-person race which were weak to fire. As a three-man level 1 party in the second session, we had brutally and efficiently cleared a cave of Kobolds. We found a door leading to the back wherein two final Kobolds waited, the one who was obviously in charge VERY OBVIOUSLY readying a fire-spell, which I saw through the keyhole of the door and announced. Not only did the Rogue go first, he _physically pushed his way to the front of the group._ Even if he had stealthed, which he chose not to, this was an enclosed room with one entrance that the Kobolds were staring at. There was no way he was getting in without being seen. He knew this so didn't even try and stealth. No, as we were telling him to get back and were in the middle of preparing to physically restrain him, he kicked the door open. Guess what? 100 - 0, insta-dead, ashes. Fucking nostalgia and a pissed off DM. Not from being stupid and dying pretty much the same way he had in the previous campaign, but from this character having been one which the player pestered and annoyed the DM about making for _weeks._ He reworked the damage on the spot and subtly ressed the Rogue with an early indication of their soon-to-be Warlock Patron's power, because he wasn't accepting that all that work and annoyance was for nothing so early on.

Should I feel bad for this 5:42 bard...? I don't think i should...

That bard died a legend. Oh the songs that will be written about hi... Oh wait

The bard who died to snu snu by dragon had me.

Oh man. klunk brought me to tears in a good way. thank you for that

one word. Fireball

Recent occurrence in a Tomb of Annihilation campaign. Our Dwarf Barbarian was attempting to swim across a Raging River to get to the other side to fight a Poison Arrow Sniper, instead of crossing the Log Bridge that lied over it. He was doing pretty well on his Athletic throws to swim across, until he got halfway there. At that point, he began to roll low on his Athletic checks, despite having a +7 to them, and slide closer to the edge that overlooked a pool of Lava. Needless to say, the Dwarf died going downriver while screaming "I'm good at this!" At the top of his lungs.

In a group all with my friend for the first time playing d&d. One friend knew more about d&d though so he was dm. He was horrible and we started questioning him after this, because during a big fight, a full hp pc roled a 1 to hit and our dm said, "you fall on your sword and die." No saving throws or anything. You can see the frustration we had with him.

3 words: Deck of Many I watched one deck kill 4 of our players, one of them 5 minutes after their introduction. And this was a high level game.

My former paladin met his end while fighting against a bugbear. Said bugbear had been mostly unsuccessful in hitting my paladin, who was tanking hits from the bastard while the rest of my party cleared out the lesser threats (goblins and a few starving wolves, in this case). On one of the bugbear's turns, before it attacked, I had my paladin goad it on, mockingly: "C'mon then, fiend, hit me with your best shot!" Nat 20, near full damage. Said hit knocked my paladin down to zero hitpoints and fell into the ravine we'd been fighting next to, killing my character instantly.

Characters taking a look are the definition of "Curiosity Killed the Cat" We had just survived a magical hurricane, set off by a Devastation Orb, which wiped out a town. Crossing a river to travel towards a major city. Party bard Polymorphed himself into an eagle, scouted out the area. Normal so far. Rolled a Nat 20 on Perception. Spies a door floating in a cloud, above the hurricane. Investigates. Finds themselves in a cloud giant city, devoid of cloud giants. Investigates. Attracts the attention of a wraith or some other powerful undead, which begins chasing him. Eventually, they make it back to the square with the exit, but the undead is standing on it. Attempts to draw it away are mostly unsuccessful. The bard eventually makes it past the undead, sprinting down the tunnel towards the cloud door, only to be killed by a magic arrow on the doorstop. He kinda deserved it.

that eagle one is hilarious. just the party watching until they both disappear and the guy for crying about they shit he got himself into and just rage quitting. that is gold!

My li'l rogue, Petrica, snuck into some room where the cultists were doing stuff, planning to distract them so the team could do whatever (I forget the details, but there was some sort of larger party going on -- this was the climax of this leg of the campaign). I learned a bit late that "light a guy's robes on fire," while certainly distracting, is not something you can do via stealth. Petrica got sacrificed to the god who got brought to this realm and pretty much destroyed the whole city. Next session, as the team is fleeing the apocalyptic setting, just trying to get out of town, they come across my new character. Donovan Cassidy, fae-blooded, elf or human, think he was a bard? I loved the guy, put a lot of work into creating him, but he lasted only two half-sessions. Because we showed up at the front of some church, where there was this giant tree that seemed to be spared the carnage. To everyone else, this seemed like an obvious warning sign. To me, it seemed like the tree had some spherical spell of protection on it -- what could be safer? So I ran up and climbed the tree to get a good look around for a better idea of where to leave the city. Tree immediately ate me. I managed some rolls to get out of tree, popped down onto the ground at its feet, phew! Then its turn came up and it just grabbed me with its tentacle branches and popped me in its mouth again. (Two new characters were on the sidelines of this fight. I think one guy had lost his character the same night I lost Petrica, and the other was just joining us? Anyway, neither one was good-aligned, and they were both on the sidelines placing bets about my fate. One of them was a necromancer or something and considered making me a zombie, which I was all in favor of playing until it got explained that I couldn't be any *cool* sort of zombie -- ah well.) In the aftermath, the GM came up to me and said, "In all fairness, never in a million years would I have predicted that you'd *climb* it." So I guess that was before I'd established a reputation for climbing everything that is possibly climbable....

Party member sees a chalice floating in the middle of a clearly desecrated room. Like "pages from a holy book ripped out, turned upside down, and pasted to the wall with blood" desecrated. Party member enters the room, once he is in the room, he can see that the chalice is actually being held by a demonic spirit, and that the chalice has some dark mist flowing out of it. Party member was of an evil alignment, and figured that DRINKING FROM THE CHALICE WAS A GOOD IDEA. His character wrestled the chalice away from the spirit, and drank from it. He died immediately. No saving throw. No nothing. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

was playing dragon heist, dude comes up to bad guy hideout, knocks on their door and asks if they are there, no one answers, he tries to open the door but it's locked, so he turns and knocks on the window and yells "im coming in dont shoot" and breaks the window, jumps in, and gets shot 4 times in the chest, dead immediately

This wasn’t a kill, but a funny story none the less. I was playing a campaign DM’d by my brother. Our most kind and lawful player wasn’t here that day so, me a rogue, another character who was a teifling and was evil, and another character who wasn’t good at roleplaying went in an adventure. We robbed a bank, fully successfully to. Almost died a couple times but survived, I wildshaped into a rat climb through vents, teifling tricks guards, was a great time. We were filthy rich now so we bought a new house and a bunch of magic items. That is one of my fav dnd stories

Really glad you decided to not use the robot voice as your voice on this channel It hurts your head when trying to listen while at work and got my headphones in. I don’t like talking to ppl much so I listen to these stories and the robot voice is really harsh on my ear hole lol

This actually happened two weeks ago... I've never seen anything like it. Party was breaching into a doorway, where they stacked up behind each other. (already see the problem here?) Knights that the party are fighting, push their way into the room, spreading them out 5ft. Rouge has a crossbow that shoots two bolts, back to back, so he fires at one of the knights... nat 1 Hits the mage standing 15ish feet in front of him and takes most of his health. Second attack roll for the second bolt... nat 1 Mage goes down and makes his first save. Paladin attacks the knight he's closest to... The Mage is currently down right next to this knight as well... First attack lands but doesn't kill the knight. Paladin makes a second attack on the knight... and I shit you not... nat 1 At this point I say, "Okay, roll a d20 to see how bad this really is". Without fail... another nat 1 Mage takes two failed death saves from the Paladin's blade hitting him while he's down. Now it's the knight's turn... the knight with 2hp... simply stabs the mage while he's down, thus killing him. We all died laughing at how absolutely absurd our luck was that night. My PC's essentially killed their own party member, by mistake.

I had a player who decided to climb up the side of a building after climbing out of a window. A Fricken 6th story window. Nat 1 on athletics, instantly died upon contact with the ground

I actually finally got a story for one! We were crossing an ancient forest and find a fresh ditch made, about 75 ft across and 20 Ft deep. We also see what made it. A gigantic Elemental with a huge wizards tower on its back. The cleric of knowledge decides tea with this wizard seems like a great idea, so she hops on her broom of flying and keeps going after lighting shoots past from the tower. She then takes an incinerate to the face... as a lv. 4 Cleric... there wasn’t much for us to recover.

After successfully evading the troll, our kobold sorcerer "Giblet" decided to taunt it by tossing acid/fire (don't recall) at the troll. The troll chewed him extra well out of spite.

the mines starter set. they caught a goblin, got info from it, "water dangerous" was one of a few bits. inside the cave like 10 tiles away and 1 min later, stand in the water and die to the trap while flapping about the rumbling and missing the chance to even try to dodge since it is a beginner group.

That Bard that orbital dropped himself on the Pit Fiend is a fucking boss. I'd be proud to pull off something so epic.

The Kobolds (they were a two-in-one type of character played by one dude) -One my character launched into a eyeball laser after rolling a nat 1. He disintegrated -The other one attempted to make friends with the laser eyeball and didn’t manage to do it

Our ranger misread the size of an AoE attack, which not only killed the like two half dead enemies left, also hit the entire party and killed the warlock.

I was a lvl 1 Bard. Train stopped suddenly while I was trying to save someone, and we had to make DEX saving throws. Nat 1 and took 9 damage, but only had 6 HP at the time. Literally just tripped and died.

Told a white dragon he was a thief while standing in his hoard. While he was solo

that first story, if i was the DM, I'd have just told the player: "Play stupid games, win stupid prizes, start writing up a new character"

The Klunk story is one of the greatest redemption arcs of all time

On an encounter in a forgotten primordial jungle, the party monk decided to run up and punch a T-rex. He was level 6.

During a SW5e session not too long ago we had a Recommissioned B1 Battle droid, the only guy with decent charisma, just decided to drop a grenade at his feet, hug the attacking Rancor, and explode He wanted to make a new character but it was still so funny how he “Hugged a Rancor to death”

Fireball. Don't need to tell more, I know you know it.

Three of us were investigating an abandoned building per a quest, and there was a bunch of undead. Well, these undead were unusually smart compared to 'normal' ones. So we're in a hallway, and there's 3 enemies: 2 closer up (still a ways off though) and 1 even further back. Our ranged dude takes one of the ones up front out, but then the other dude picks up the arm from the one we just killed, throws it at the ranger, rolls a nat 20, ranger rolled a nat 1 on trying to dodge, and got his head taken off by a zombie yeeting another zombie's arm.

I once had a level 3 character step in a bear trap, fall down some stairs (rolled nat 1), brake their neck, and die.

Eaten by baby T-Rex. Not an adult one, but a baby. A fucking baby.

Buddy of mine invited me to a campaign he'd been in for about a month, but had been going on for over a year with (I think) two player deaths. One was a wizard doing something stupid early on, and the other (his girlfriend) got disintegrated on her first session with the group. His character was a scholar who occassionally gets taken over by his ancestors (barbarian), but doesn't know anything about monsters when left to fight without their help. FF to last night (my first session). Weren't meeting with an Illithid ambassador of Xanathar who threatens us a few more time than the Ranger liked, who decided to attack. Both me and the (at some point ressurected) wizard nearly get fucked by intellect devourers, while the barbarian has been grappled by the mind flayer at quite low health. Face tentacles start slithering into face holes, and my friend decides to roll whether his ancestors tell him to break the grapple. Evens yes, odds no. He rolls a 1 on a d30, and the DM proceeds to roll more dice than my friend has hitpoints. He would've needed to roll a 7 (plus STR) to break the grapple. Edit: I should also mention the player had his next character ready to go 45 minutes later and rejoined the session.

Pathfinder 1e. Goblin pc gets an unbreakable jar, places his favorite pickles in it, and has a wizard permanently seal it so no one will ever be able to steal them. Later he wants to eat the pickles, and realizes he cannot open the jar. After numerous attempts, he gives up and tries to swallow the entire jar. He choked to death.

My fighter/rogue Halfling was cleaning his word in the middle of a battle when he was brutally slaughtered by 3 ghouls.

Party member was a complete murderhobo, still level 1, just started the adventure and he chucks his glaive at a guard..... Rolled a nat 1 on the attack.... Brained himself with his own glaive as it dealt enough damage to kill him......

Party split up to accomplish several goals at once. Only one of them ended up facing the final boss. He patiently waited for the boys to preform the ritual that would turn them into an omnipotent being. He somehow didn't realize that THIS was the ritual they were specifically hired to stop. I figured that ritual would come later.

wished for all the knowledge in the universe, exploded due to far too much knowledge

I wish I could've introduced Klunk to my favorite warlock I ever played: SPOON! He was a Hexblade, with a few levels of Forge Cleric. Why forge cleric you may ask? Because. He could turn a small amount of money into SPOOOOONS!! His god he worshiped was his patron as well, a soul devouring giant spoon. Yes. He worshiped a sentient spoon. And it worked. He could bless people with his various spoons he always carried around. Or curse them with forks. Why was Spoon like this? Well he was a slime. Grey Slime to be exact. Homebrew Race, got -2 Int. I rolled a 3 on one of my stat rolls. I decided, y'know what? Screw it. Spoon is a slime. Slimes don't need brains. So Spoon had none! And he was happy. Oh, and he once killed a group of good 'cultists' who gave away free healing. Why did he do so? They didn't like spoons.

I was running Pathfinder Society at a FLGS. The players wanted to "play up" and due to table size and it was season 1 they could, but they were not prepared as the most vocal person for "playing up" was the at level 4. About midway through the adventure the trigger the second encounter and as per PFS rules I have to "run as written." The second encounter had them fighting on a ship in dock. They were fighting a spectre, who drains 2 levels, and a death cleric. The level 4 fighter, instead of charging the cleric, charges the spectre and he doesn't have a magic weapon so he rolls, "hits" and his sword passes right through the spectre. The spectre goes after him in initiative hits and drains 2 levels (he's level 4 so one more hit and he's worm food.) It comes back to him and he flees, which prevents an AOO, but instead of running off the ship/off the board and out of combat he runs to the deck below. The rest of the table asks the DM question "Are you sure you want to do that?" He says yeah I'm not in combat it can't chase me and has to make a double move to get to me so if it does I can just outrun it." The table groans, I ask "are you done?" he says yes, I then say the spectre sinks through the floor and attacks. That started an argument that the creature is "supposed to target someone else." My reasoning was "It's intelligent, and you were obviously the hurt gazelle so it went to finish you off to 1. reduce the number of enemies, and 2. increase the number of allies." Yes his character rose as a spectre 2 rounds later, and in pfs and at his level this was a perma-death. when he found this out he stormed out without taking his character certificate.

I had a party member in the middle of the night decided the best way to get some info on the band of orcs they were tasked with dealing with was to do some scouting as a paladin in heavy armour. They had to convince the night guards to let them out of the town that they were staying in and they decided to travel through the forest with a very low survival skill. I roll in front of my players so I was unable to fudge and get him out of his own stupidity. I rolled for an encounter and he landed himself in one. Best of all when I rolled to determine the monsters he had encountered it was Orcs. Fitting.

Was DMing a campaign. The bard was meant to be saving the other players who were chained in a cult of elemental evil lair, with a floating sphere of water bobbing up and down in mid air at the edge of what appeared to be an underground river. He knew it was magical (house ruled that spellcasters can sense nearby magic innately if they concentrate on their surroundings, but gain visual cues if casting the Detect Magic spell) "I lick the water-ball". It was a trap that sucked in whoever touched it. Needed a DC 14 Strength saving throw to get out un-aided. He drowned because he had awful strength and worse dice. Had to fudge a reason it the party to get free.

I had an npc Dwarf gather up a backback full of dynamite to clear paths and use as makeshift fireballs. 26 sticks, to be exact. He was ACTUALLY a good guy npc, but the party wanted to kill him anyway and take his stuff. So they waited until he slept (rolled high on insight, so he didn't trust them and was only pretending to be asleep) and tried to take the bag. He tried to stop them. They're in the upper levels of the underdark, in a side chamber sleeping for the night. Wizard casts, I shit you not, burning fucking hands at point blank fucking range on the backpack he KNEW was full of dynamite! The party took 26 x 8d6 fire damage and died instantly. I let them escape the underworld and get back to the land of the living over the course of two sessions. They came back as zombies. The hunger, the rot, the shambling, everything. They could speak normally to each other, but everyone else heard zombie noises. Party wanted a necromancer to help them get their bodies back. I gave them one on a silver platter. She was literally trying to figure them out since they acted different from normal zombies. Cleric zombie and wizard zombie start throwing fire around necro's tower, so she leaves and comes back later, letting them throw their fit. Barb zombie wants to gesture for a pen. Wizard throws fire. Cleric throws radiant fire. Necro gets close to try to examine cleric zombie. Cleric zombie BITES THE FUCKING NECROMANCER! They're currently locked in cages, slowly going mad from lack of flesh while the necromancer zombie slowly rots away in her undeath with the key plainly visible on her belt. They're rolling new characters at the moment...

One of my PCs tried to infiltrate the temple of the Good guys (they were playing Evil characters), without disguising herself, nor knowing how to lie. And that priestest also had the symbol of her evil god on her armor.

Attacked a group of trolls who we thought had kidnaped a farmers daughter Half the party was making saving throws Turns out it where the wrong guys

Pissing off an archangel by throwing insults and being blasted into a million pieces as a result.

Gnome Fighter attacks a shopkeeper for not having a flaming rapier. OUR Paladin attacks Gnome Fighter and knocks him unconscious. Guards who were near death arrest Gnome Fighter, who is executed by public hanging the following day.

The TL;DR at the end killed me. Thats how i died

First thing session 1: sneaks off and heads to an opium den. Proceeds to immediately OD on first does, falling into a month-long coma. Party is unable to locate him, and dealers throw him in the nearest ditch. Proceeds to die from lack of food/water, due to no one caring about some random passed-out druggy outside the opium den.

Not a Perma-death, due to the cleric using Spare the Dying, or whatever, and then the halfling Paladin, who is the person in this situation, using Lay on Hands to heal themselves, but said Paladin just keeps on charging into battle - rushes into party of goblins, who clobber the guy to death. Seems to be his only strategy - rush into a fight, get clobbered. On the plus side, he's protecting the ko'd friendly NPCs we're trying to rescue.

we made a meme called "neck grab" I am a elven/goblin bard who when ever anyone touches the back of my neck depending on a random coin flip i either take 5 damige or go limp. If i go limp i roll a dice to find out how long. Each number multiplied by 5 game minutes Anyways, one time i was flirting with a random orc and wasteing time. The cleric of the group rolled to grab the back of my neck. The coin was damige and i died with these words "Ashter grabs the back of macxes neck. Upon contact macxes falls over dead." i was never alouwed to live it down

A friend of mine was a level 1 squishy druid, who thought that he could solo charge a boss monster because he had Shillelagh. This is a spell that upgrades a staff or club to a d10. Yep, he thought that, because he had, woot, a d10, with still low pluses, that this gave him enough power to solo charge the boss while the tanks were trying to get adds out of the way. He hit for like 4 damage, and then got one-shot downed. Unfortunately, with the rest of the party's alignments, we tried to save him. Queue absolute clusterfuck that resulted in a TPK.

Oh God the tldr at the end was hilarious...

not me but: Warlock pact of the blade. nat 1ed 3 times in a row to cut out a guys tongue. After the third time Dm ruled that he tripped, stabbed himself in the face and died stating "sorry but seems like the die want you to hurt today".

The last one was awesome.

My aaracockra bard once entered a castle with the party, but the king told my character to leave because he smelled horrible. Coupled with the fact that a different character kept accidentally calling the king “king sheep”, he was pretty mad. He imprisoned the other player, and my bard flew out the window, only to be shot by a giant crossbow and solar on the floor

Klunk's story had me shout "Yes!" while laughing.

Our bird boy wizard had died to a chair. He had tried to pull an enchanted short sword out of a wall but failed and hit the back of his head on a broken chair. The chair took 10 HP and he only had 7 HP at level one as it was literally the first session of the campaign. The DM though was nice and let him walk with 2 HP and the sword.

About 3 weeks ago it was my first round in DnD and boy oh boy was it interesting. To cut to the chase our party's paladin (who had a strong resentment to the undead, lucky me) spent the whole session going rouge and completely ditching her faith and morality, the events ended with her stuck in an inter-dimensional storage chest filled with blank books, she got extremely high (effects of a mystery potion), rose herself back to the opening of the box and then suddenly thought it to be a great idea to plummet mach 10 back down at the books. suffice to say she was quite dead, and unfortunately for me her corpse was to far away to reanimate, shame.. i really wanted her as my undead minion, she was pretty powerful.