What are these Autistic Meltdowns all about? Including Shutdowns and Burnouts 

This was for me, the best video on the topic I’ve seen. No disrespect to other creators.

People tend to be more prone to externalizing OR internalizing stress and overwhelm. I’ve had maybe… 3 meltdown in my 30 years? And then a cluster of them after developing PTSD. Where my behavior is nearly completely outside of conscious control and I scream a lot. Much more often, I dissociate all the time and have several shutdowns a year. I have had panic attacks or anxiety attacks, but they’re distinctly different. I’m usually in control of how I respond for both, but have no control over other things. So for anxiety attacks: my anxious thoughts will run away from me and become unrealistic, and I might even be able to acknowledge that, but my anxious thoughts keep spinning out and it’s very difficult to ground them back down. For panic attacks: I hyperventilate, which I have no control over, sometimes to the point of my vision almost blacking out. For my worst one, I had to lay on my back with my feet in the air to keep from passing out, and my extremities were numb and tingly. All I can do is try and think my brain back to safety, because physically, the only control I have is getting to a safe place away from people.

Good video, Jenny! I had heard that some autistic people didn't have meltdowns but I thought that it was fewer than 10 percent. I have meltdowns and shutdowns.

Hi Jenny ! This is probably one of the best videos you've ever made ! And at a perfect time for me. I'm in the middle of a burnout, not the worst I had, but I feel I'm getting even more exhausted with age, and that's always when I get sick, I wonder if other people experience that too... You explain really well how I feel when these difficult moments happen to me, and this topic is very difficult to describe. When I learned about autism, I was convinced I didn't have meltdowns, the definitions I was reading didn't reflect well what it feels to me. But watching videos from actually autistic people, and the genuine way they (and you !) explain how things feel to them made it so clear ! In the "medical" description, there is a serious lack of intensity (in my opinion). Thank you, I wish I saw such an accurate video years ago ! I'm sure it will be helpful to a lot of people ! I hope you don't have tornados where you are, the news are scary. Take care ! Have a nice weekend !

Thank you!! Thit was very helpful. The inward vs outward explanation makes a lot of sense. And also tying it to flight or flight, fawn.

Wow,Jenny this is such familiar territory for me.Before I knew that I was autistic I used the term "overwhelmed" to describe what I was experiencing or what I had gone through.Now I can say that I experience meltdowns or sometimes I might say that am not regulated well.I really do think that just knowing that I am autistic helps me to navigate through these distressing episodes because I don't need to suppose that I'm being a terrible person for not being in better control of my feelings.I have talked with my therapist recently about this and she validated my observations about this.When I keep this focus I do believe that I am having some success deflecting meltdowns.Thank you for this timely video.

Thank you so much for providing concrete examples of your experience. That helped me enormously to understand better.

Great video! Really well done😊 I tend to shutdown now a days, but I used to have more meltdowns, the smell of too much vinegar can causeme to rage! I had a shutdown at a concert, because people were constantly getting up and pushing their way, down the whole row, to go get beer. The seats are so close together that these people, touch you as they pass. It went on and on, until I finally said " I hope this will be the last time" She said "I paid for my ticket, I can do whatever I like" Then her little friend starteed to pipe in, as she pushed by, I lost it! Fortunately I shutdown, instead of rage. I just hid my head in myy husbands' shoulder and squeezed his hand. He said that I hadn't I hadn't held so tight since giving birth to my boys. I didn't get over it for a long time. Now, I won't go to that venue anymore. There are other places to go, that don't serve alcohol during the performance. This was a Chris Stapleton concert, that I had been so excited about, and now I remember it for all the wrong reasons. Hope I didn't ramble. Have a great week.😊❤️🙏

Thank you, Jenny. I have been struggling with the differences between these also. This was very helpful. I am now 71 and I see differences in my life stages. Does anyone else? I think of my childhood as the time I was experiencing frequent meltdowns, possibly daily once I started school. When I hit junior high my shyness tendencies became quite strong. This is when I see a shift to shutdowns. Most of my burnouts happened in late high school through my twenties. Frequent shutdowns up until a divorce in my 40's. Everything showed up at that time. I would say my last burnout caused me to retire 3 years early, for which I have no regrets. I was diagnosed ADHD at 45, self-diagnosed autistic at 70. I also have a very poor memory so some of the above is guesswork.

Thanks for this video, Jenny! I like the definition of meltdowns because it didn’t say they had to be sensory related. Sometimes they are and sometimes it’s just emotional. I normally get meltdowns in response to emotions. I rarely get shutdowns but when I do it’s usually due to being in an overstimulating environment for a long time. For me, the shutdowns I’ve had don’t feel like an internal meltdown. It feels like my brain is literally shutting down different parts to cope. My speech and social interaction doesn’t work very well, and even my vision shuts down. I’m sorry you went through such a hard time during your last meltdown and your job. Right now I can relate because I am in a horrible job for me and every day I feel like I had a meltdown even if I did not. I’ve been in autistic burnout for about a year. I only have one more month left in this job. I had to take medical leave for 3 months.

Jenny thank you for this important and very timely (for me) video. For the past few days I've been feeling overwhelmed because for the first time ever we are babysitting both grandchildren at our house (1 and 4 yrs old) for several days and nights. I love those kids so much!...but I had to abrupty pause an art project I've been intensely working on to do this. For an autistic person this can be major. Last night I got word that my brother died. He had been severely impaired for more than a year following a heart block that left him semi-comatose for more than a month. He had never been able to go home since that happened. Now I am definitely feeling burnout and it will be all I can do to wash my hair. I have watched your video several times and it's very helpful to know I'm not alone. (I am also the 3rd 71 yr. old to comment here!)

Great video my friend. I like you assumed all autistic people would express overwhelm. I guess it shouldn't be surprising. I've just struggled with both my whole life

Fab video very informative...I still struggle with if I have meltdowns I can think of a few times that i had to escape the house feeling overwhelmed because my MIL had a key to our house and would let herself in when ever she felt like popping over...which was everyday with no prior warning... I felt like I couldn't breath and had to get out of the house, drove off in a rage when hubby arrived home and id be back an hour or so later unable to speak. Several times I got really angry with her for interfearring with how i wanted the kids brought up, both girls being ASD undiagnosed until recently and my son suspected and still waiting for an ADHD assessment also causing me some stress here and there becausenshe would try and make them happy when they were in whatvi now know are meltdowns,as well as not knowing I was probably AuDHD (not assessed yet putting folder together) she would come In and just take over everything and most of the time. I would just go silent but inside I was filled with anger, eventually spilling my feelings to her in letters because I just couldn't talk to her...we took her key away and life got much easier, it had got to the point where I had to take the 3 kids out everyday so I could get some freedom which was exhausting and I'd end up soo overwhelmed from the lights and people etc I'd end up with what I called at the time shopping fatigue every evening after I'd been out with them....I just put it down to being a busy mum and that's how it was. There are lots of other examples of meltdowns and shut downs for me before school and since having kids in don't know about burnout for me... I remember my mum mentioned recently that I would shut down during conversations with her as well she even said at one point (when I was discussing the girls ASD assessment criteria) when school was at a really bad time for me, that I would shut down often mid conversation to the point where she started to wonder if I was having some kind of seizure...having said that she never took me to the doctors about it. I only recall doing this once but she said it happened very often and I just don't seem to even notice it happening. I have no recollection of this happening more than the 1 occasion though, so I don't know if that's related to shutdowns. SincenI have stopped full time work to stay home for the kids and hubby has been self employed I have not had many melt downs or what I think are my meltdowns anyway. Sorry for the long blurb, I struggle to keep things short as well 😊

Great video, very well explained! I tend to experience more outbursts and shutdowns than meltdowns. And they usually ocurr at home or when I'm alone in my car. I can tolerate\mask better when I'm in a unfamiliar environment or at work for example, but if a close family member do something that triggers me, it's harder for me to mask or suppress an outburst. It feels like my emotions\sensations are going from 0 to 200 km\h in seconds.

Thank you so much for this video, I am 34 and recently diagnosed autistic, and this video is so helpful, I have bookmarked it to show it to my family since we are currently trying to figure out how to best help me recover from shutdowns and meltdowns, now that we know what I've been actually experiencing my whole life. My family is exactly like that, wanting to help me so badly by talking it through, but maybe this will help them understand I need space and just to relax. Thank you again!!

Thanks Jenny 😊😊

This was actually very helpful. Thank you Jenny. The distinction between shutdowns and melt downs was very informative. You would think that with having a RU-vid channel I would have researched this... but I think I fall into that 20% that don't really experience the external presentation of meltdowns. So, it didn't resonate with me AS much... Don't get me wrong, I have experienced them, one that even mimicked the one you had in the car. But they're just not that common. Shutdowns are much more common for me. So much more internalizing which may be common with high masking. By the way, I may have had a similar reaction to something as hurtful as someone telling me they hate me and asking me to leave. I'm sorry you experienced that. Thank you for including my response. I actually learned something here

Great video, still learning about this. Thank you for your explanation. Thank you for understanding myself just a little bit more. Have a nice day 😀

My issue with breakdowns and meltdowns is that i avoid any new relationship because of it. Before, i didnt know i was autistic yet. I wasnt diagnosed or aware. But currently i think i will be seen as defective and to be rejected. I wonder how can i navigate getting close to someone. Im not even sure if i can or want to. Your video helped a lot to understand the concepts better.

First I wanted to tthank you Jenny for your channel, information & help. We are slowly learning some things about autism over the past 15 months and really have very little insight or understanding so far. We started this path through discovering my son is Autistic. Now it is unraveling to reveal my entire household is on thte spectrum. We have yett tto connect well with support systems. Our son, whom is mostt impacted by his neurodiversiy, goes to an Occupational therapy thats really not with people who are autism specialists or their main focus. So, all that to say, you help us so much to understand some of what autism looks like and that we arent just insane or somehow broken. Thank you so much for helping us understand and learn so much.

Jenny another great video! I have been MIA with everyone lately. A major shutdown turned burn out. I tend to coke bottle my triggers at work or in public. Then I pop my top in my sleep with panic attacks. I highly mask. I really wish the world was much kinder to adults with ASD . I am looking forward to your next video ❤

Yes indeed !

Thank you

I started getting meltdowns (as an adult) in my 20's. They got worse and more frequent until diagnosis.