It is difficult to determine what causes bullying but there are usually specific indicators which we can learn to recognize. In order to do so, we must first understand the temperament of children and how they develop. All children have inborn, pre-wired temperaments which are evident from infancy. Some babies are more assertive about letting others know what they need, while other babies are more passive and will wait until someone takes care of them. Children who are aggressive and like to be in charge are at risk for becoming bullies while shy and passive children are much less likely to become a bully.
Before children become Bar Mitzvah age or Bat Mitzvah age and before a Shabbaton or trip, parents should sit down with their children and talk about how to respond to invitations from people. As a family, the following questions should be discussed. Do we only go to parties of the people we like or is our job to rejoice with the celebrant of every occasion? On a school trip, do we ask to room only with our friends or will we be open and welcoming to others? Discussing these questions and making the decisions as a family will help children learn appropriate behavior and how to deal with social situations in a polite way.
Having frequent and age-appropriate conversations about how to interact with peers and handle various social situations will help a child develop into a well-balanced individual who does not need to resort to bullying.
(Dr. Rona Novick for Operation Survival's Prevention101 series. Dr Novick is the Dean of the Azrieli Graduate School of Jewish Education and Administration at Yeshiva University and holds the Raine and Stanley Silverstein Chair in Professional Ethics and Values)
26 июн 2019
