What Christian Women Want in a Man (According to Them!) W/ Jason Evert 

Matt Fradd The interviewee was lacking. Video games generally have nothing to do with it, unless one is consumed by them. I’m a gamer who has been married for 13 years (and dated my wife for 8 years - without cohabitation - before marriage). We’ve been together over 20 years. It doesn’t make one with a solid foundation “immature” if they’re a gamer in moderation. Also, I’m a veteran. The assertion is laughable. Porn is different, as it is intrinsically bad. The Chinese abortion policy, while absolutely evil, was a non sequitur (my cousin-in-law teaches English in China, married a Chinese girl and has lived there for years). The American and Western problem isn’t one of “supply and demand” of men and women, as it is in China. It’s a devolution of moral standards problem, which has become ubiquitous in men *and* women in Western Civilization. I work in a profession full of young women, as I’ve been an RN for almost 20 years. I have a firmer grasp as to what is going on than this guy. I’ve had numerous individual and group discussions with these young women concerning these issues over the last twenty years. Everything has become what one gets from the other, rather than what one gives to the other. There is little regard for what courtship and marriage actually is. When courtship died, so did the respect women were due from men. Men have become unscrupulous, enabled by amoral women. Many just want whatever they think they can squeeze out of the other individual for their own personal gratification. These people “shack up” after even short periods of dating because the want to see how it “works out” for them. They tell me I’m “outmoded” for telling them they’re wrong. Most of these young women also give out sex like Halloween candy after they start dating after shacking up with these pitiful dudes, and live as if they’re “married” without any actual commitment. Even the “good girls” often acquiesce out of desperation, or they reject the good men that come their way that don’t meet their “standards”. Then, they wonder why they are either so easily disposed of or why true commitment never comes. They often voice and wonder why their men don’t take them seriously, because instant gratification has become part of the cultural zeitgeist. Many of these young women end up in their 30’s, either single or in noncommittal relationships which they blindly think will lead to actual commitment (the proverbial “why buy the cow, when you get the milk for free”). They’ve given up their worthiness, not realizing it is far better to be single than to acquiesce and destroy your dignity in the process. Also, there is no “perfect formula” for dating. My wife and I went on our first date to a movie in 1998. So, the assertion in the interview is absurd. These things solely depend on the individuals involved. Just have respect for one another. People have different opinions on activities they like to do when dating. I’m very blessed to have found a truly wonderful and faithful and beautiful wife who loves and fears Our Lord. I had to do the actual work of love to court her when we were dating. It is worth all the effort, because it is special. We both share everything and seek for the benefit of one another. When we were dating, I expected nothing from her. I respected her parents. I honored her worth. Women must make men actually pursue them. Something to think about: If something is purchased cheaply, it is often valued little. Diamonds are more treasured than plain rocks, are they not? Women deserve to be courted by moral men of worth, given dignity they are due and without expectation by men for reciprocations involving amoral gratifications. The problem is that so many have given up what actually works and what leads to successful dating relationships and true marriages.

“..it is far better to be single than to acquiesce and destroy your dignity...” Best statement!

@@VeniViciVeritas Good assessment. Accept for "Women must make men actually pursue them." Ahhh....ya just can't make a man do anything.

Dating is SERIOUS BUSINESS. It should be taken seriously. This is sorting the wheat from the chaff.

Kat Pellot Thanks! Sincerely appreciated!

Sadly, you're so right here. These guys are a bit out of touch with the level of modern depravity.

Not to mention that the idea of "women empowerment" can be super sexual now. I think women can be strong and independent but be conservative and beautiful in the way they act and dress

That's incomprehensible to me. In my young adult group that's absolutely not the expectation. Maybe I'm just completely oblivious.

@@hjsimpson Maybe not in yours, but yours would then be a rare case. Even in many youth groups there's premarital sex, because as religious as they claim to be, they still live in a materialist, degenerate world. Its hard to live in it 6 days a week and then try to behave like a proper Catholic one day a week.

@@hjsimpson many women on Bumble this way

dude, there's a LOT of truth to this statement.

This is why women don't like to give guys direct answers, but hint and hope the guy picks it up. Because once we tell you, its quite a turn off because its like asking someone what they want for their surprise party... then the wow factor ceases.

Christian women don't want Christian men?

LOL 100% true

hahah loved this comment

What did your previous wives think?

Aww thats great this is something I would like.

What year was this ?

As a woman, I never thought about that, but you’re so right, I can see now why men seem to hesitate even when they like a girl at church. That clarifies a lot of things actually

Your economic analysis is absolutely correct. You understand your behavior a lot better when you frame life in an economic perspective. That's not me saying life is about money but you always are considering what things are worth to you emotionally time-wise as well whether you're actively thinking about it or not.

I think you're on to the problem. Throw in a dash of obliviousness and a lack of social opportunity (the landscape of what people do in their free time is much changed), and today we come.... \*waves\* The reasonable success part might be more, or also, related to people ending up dating later in life. Time is running out, so finding RIGHT consumes more of the mental processes. And folks end up a little clingy in some regard (which negatively affects the pool as well...) And all of this before one contemplates online dating, and the indecision that can leave you with. I feel like a set of different pathologies assault this matter from both flanks, those long inbuilt to man and woman, recent cultural phenomena, and technological sanitation.

Second thought: I wonder if this is a radical swing from too casual of relations caused by hook-up culture. From full disposability, to lonely paranoia.

@@kevinmarshall59 Economics is about choices and value, not necessarily just money. I think he was spot on.

I've only gotten 5 minutes in the vid as of writing this comment, but I imagine this failure of theory is mostly based on the fact that it's advice women give themselves about what they want. It wouldnt be right to conclude that they consciously lie. They do, however, seem to have a very idealized view of the world sometimes and say/believe things that don't always really match even their own personal behavior or interests, let alone womankind in general.

@@grillinnchillin4009 the problem is the girls who contributed with their opinion are imagining a scenario where they like the guy and wish he would do something. They've already come to a decision that they like the guy. When this hasnt happened its a whole other ball game.

@@lionheart5078 sounds like a good assessment

Excellent analysis

I'm really tired of the excuses I hear about men being visual creatures, and that gives them a crutch to use when defending their right, or reason, to look at other women even when they are married. All of us, including women, are visual. That is a human's primary means of making sense of their environment. I know, I've read about the studies that say men are visual beings, but that does not take into account the impact societal/cultural norms have had that have been around for 100s if not 100's of years. This accepted notion does not give men an excuse to sin. Just because I am a heterosexual woman does not give me the excuse to check out men because I am able to...especially if I am married. All my ' male' attention is to be given to my husband, and only him. This includes what I choose to look at. If one believes that men have more visual temptation than woman, then why don' t I see many men not looking at porn, being accountable when using their computers, refusing to enter restaurants like Hooters or frequent 'gentleman's clubs' and massage parlors, or refusing to view R rated movies depicting scantily clad women to counteract this 'fact.' I have great respect for some Orthodox Jewish men who cover their glasses with grease/oil to prevent them from noticing other women. Padre Pio only knew some religious sisters by their voice but not their faces as he would not look at them.

Thank you for your insight. I would like to read about the saint you’ve quoted. Is there a book or essay?

@@katpellot7646 I have only found references of Saint Alphonsus Ligouri's guidelines for courtship by priests. Many examinations for the Sacrament of Penance do state that for a parent to allow a minor child to date is a mortal sin. This article may be helpful: catholicism.org/courtship-the-chaste-preparation-for-holy-matrimony.html

Your comment and Saint Alphonsus are from a different social structure. If you want to change how our society interact great. Long past are the days of just picking someone who lives in your town or village. Our society has opened up millions of possible marriage partners. With that amount of possibilities we have placed a heavy stock in “finding the right person” or “finding the one God set for me”. Both of these are well and good, but it bring about a lot of new criteria that were not previously thought about. 1. Must be my faith 2. Must be a compatible personality 3. Must be etc 4. Should be taller/shorter/smart/symmetrical 5. I would prefer etc After you narrow it down you will either have too many choices or not enough. Hopefully not the latter, but should you court the first possible match you come across? By all means she should engage in a relationship with marriage as the end goal, but what about the weight of lifelong commitment? Young people need time to feel out their choices and dating is the slang we use. Personally I think dating and courting can be interchangeable if you maintain the purpose of it, ie lifelong partnership in marriage and child rearing. My point is that young people should date a bunch of people in order to game knowledge of what you really want. I will stress that those relationships should not get very physical because that will only cloud your judgement.

@@bluephoenix226 the only issue I got with your advice to date a bunch to learn what one wants, is that I feel that I’m not really respecting a woman if I’m thinking of dating them “to gain experience”. I get you have to start somewhere though… and you discern with the person, not just by yourself beforehand. So at some point you gotta take a leap of faith and take the risk

I totally agree. Courting is the way to go. It was/is time honored and for the most part is based on respect, solid principles, and is God centered. Marriages that stem from this type of relationship last.

True.. Women do ghosting regularly.. Instead saying no, they just read your text and the men wondering what mistakes they did

That was funny.

That was hilarious, but also good advice.

Curiously, I saw the bit of advice in a bit of media and thought the argument for it pretty good. Which is kinda surprising, given the broader context of where that story went with the recipient...

I'm out of it now but after the movie,you have lots to talk about ...just a thought

jflores85 #GamersRiseUp

I was deep down in the hell of world of warcraft. Mmorpg games are total no go. Single players maybe but I wouldn't go for it either.

@Alex Depends on what you use them for. If it's just because they take up time then sports and painting and reading books is a complete waste of time as well.

@Dom W Games can give you knowledge, strengthen your reaction time, give you creativity and so on. Did you know that there is more than one game genre out there? And with the coming of vr even the exercise is not neglected. Everything depends on how you use it. Even games.

I think it's how much and how you play your games. It's a bit like junk food, even if, indeed, some games have great writing at least. But it's also a bit of a needle in a haystack situation, just like with many books, movies and TV shows. Still, I cannot deny: I like to replay Halo CE once in a while.

Michael Dyer I’ve heard this also from many of the young single women I work with (I work in a field full of women). They’re looking for perfection that they will never find. Not only that, but most of these women are not moral to begin with. By the time they find someone they like, they desperately give out sexual relations like candy at Halloween and end up cohabiting and doing whatever they can to please their unscrupulous men they’re dating. Many of these women end up in their mid-30’s without any semblance of actual commitment. When the tradition of courtship died in the modern era, so did respect and dignity for many men and women towards one another. They just want whatever they think they can squeeze out of the other individual for their own personal gratification.

I don't disagree, but i mean..why would a woman talk about how a man should pursue her if she's not interested in them?

They can't talk about everything. This is something aimed at men interested in dating, letting them know easily that they have to take risks. If they want to attract a girl they need to do so with something on the line.

leal no she is interested she’s just assuming you know what she means. Kind of like how sometimes “I like a man who can make me laugh” isn’t referring to a funny guy, but someone she’s so into she laughs nervously. It’s what unsaid that changes the character of everything else.

Autarky Bear of course they can’t address everything. But if you give a guy half a map he’s never going to get to the destination and this was, to me, a pretty big chunk to leave out.

None of these men can help us intercede with God. Catholicism is satanic. Solus Christus.

I think that's the norm. A guy on a Taylor Marshall video said that he's a young single man who attends TLM with a lot of other young, single men. If men are doing what they're supposed to be doing, where are the women who are theoretically supposed to be following their example?

same

@@WhiteChocolate74 It's definitely the norm. The TLM near me has not one young woman without a man by her side, and lots of young guys sitting alone or amongst each other. To answer your question... they're leaving the Church to fool around and live a secular life. Some of them will revert at a later age, and among those I've spoken to who have reverted, they seem to have an inflated view of self and unrealistic expectations in dating. The last few generations of parents have done their children a great disservice by telling their sons to be good boys and treat women like queens, while telling their daughters to climb the corporate ladder, "have fun" during their 20s and 30s, and to not even think of marrying young. It's set everyone up for failure, but especially women.

You think only men got the drill? As women we had to be a particular size, not too fat or too thin, look a particular way, be only smart enough not to intimidate a guy, we also had the feminism nonsense foisted on us.

Yes, I noticed this too, Jason isn't making any videos on how women can improve themselves to find a good man, there isn't any responsibility for the women on making themselves better. I've seen so many women just sitting there waiting to be asked out and getting free dinners, like no way I'm going to ask out a girl like that

Well, I agree with what you said but a few things: 1. I personally would love videos on things women can do to induce men to be more courageous and ask us out, but I don’t see it anywhere (a little but a lot of it is secular and often ill advised) 2. I genuinely do have a lot of sympathy for men nowadays (rape accusations, man hating feminism, women yelling at men just for being gentlemanly, men having to apologise practically just for being men). However, it really is not all just one way. Women also have been dealt a bad hand due to the actions of a few (feminists). They’re brainwashed into believing they can (and should - in fact they MUST) be just like men, embody masculine traits which they don’t naturally excel at or feel deep down. Any desires to have children, care for your husband and be generally in a more feminine role are at best low on the priority list and more often they are considered shameful and often repressed. Any behaviours that might be considered feminine are automatically looked down upon. It’s funny. Feminism was meant to be a reaction against femininity and by extension women being denigrated and abased, and now it does just that. It’s taken over the role of the “male chauvinist” you see in 50s movies, only it claims to be all for women and their liberation and happiness. 3. It is just a fact that women are judged more on their looks and men are judged more on their behaviour. This is why beautiful women get away with *a lot* and are treated like princesses by so many men, even when they are neither interesting nor intelligent nor even nice (not that all beautiful women are awful, but some definitely are). This means that any honest discussion about what men want has to start from the place of telling women “essentially, women, it will definitely help if you’re younger and prettier”. Personally, as a young woman who is not terrible looking, it disgusts me to be reminded of how shallow men are (I understand you can’t help it, you want a woman who is physically attractive, but most women don’t like to think that’s why a guy asked her out). Just some thoughts, I do agree with what you said.

A woman has nothing to offer a man.

@@annatmarshall5133 yea, but those problems are safe to talk about in society. your reaction to my post proves my point because your gut reaction was 'well WOMEN...' i literally talked about that very thing in my post. again, don't be surprised if men tune out these conversations.

Was wondering when someone would mention this

I worked around lawyers and the reason why women initiate divorces more is because they are at a breaking point. Most men don't think women will leave and women think their men will change, women give up after they realize he won't change and something broke the camels back. I initiated mine and the male church leaders from my Protestant church (I've converted since), they heard the ugly truth from me what he did and the pastor said to my mom, I don't blame her. My spouse wanted to have an open relationship and on his birthday, he went to Mexico with his friends and slept with 3 prostitutes, then comes home to expect me to be this meek, warm housewife while he wanted to see other woman. Yeah, that is a breaking point just for anyone. And thr church calls for women to submit to men in all things, eh?

He is on a Catholic channel talking to an audience of practicing Catholics. The women who are living their faith are not out there living a "libertine lifestyle".

We don’t need your red pill BS here that is absolutely doing nothing to help our societal decline. It’s a catholic channel. Men need to step up, understand morality and faith. and women need to do the same.

@@alqoshgirl Some of that Red pill stuff isn’t necessarily bs. Both men and women suffer from the current dating climate, and both are to blame.

The guy was talking to a class in a video shown during my RCIA process. He literally referred to men who are anxious about being destroyed by rejection as “pansies”. Does that sound like a respectful person trying to help the church, the people of the world? Or at the very least not be a judgmental Christian? I don’t think it sounds like that at all. I happened to stumble across this video last night, and it is the same pretentious talk coming out of his mouth. Not somebody I have the interest to continue listening to.

​​@stuartshumack1627 A lot of it is bs yes. Is a radical reaction to feminism. Or must we forget how nazi Germany was a reaction to Weimar germany?

Thomas Gorman true, but the microphones are single channel anyways ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

@@mcp866 Oh fair enough, thanks for pointing that out!

He's too focused on God

That is so funny 😂 I didn’t notice until now but something seemed off lol

Preach. After a very rude red pill awakening it's really difficult to go back and listen to these women worshipping simps and remember that there was a time I thought these guys knew what they were talking about.

you feel attacked because you are. if you listen to him talk, he has this 'men are beasts, women are princesses' attitude that isn't helping anything.

Being addicted to videogames is a bad sign, no questions about it. Being a bit anxious is fine, but being so afraid and doubtful you freeze and do nothing isn't good. It doesn't make you a pansy, it makes you a bad candidate for husband full stop. You need to feel comfortable with the fact you will be anxious and afraid, so that you act anyway. It's not a personal attack like the other person said. It's a criticism of your habits, not your person. If you don't see how, it means you're not open to feedback, and honestly you have to learn to be open to feedback. By necessity all feedback involves pointing out what's lacking in you. Take it with grace. Reject it or not. Maybe we're wrong, but it's in no way an attack on you as a person.

@@bryansmith7758 It's apparent he has an antiquated view of modern dating and is relying heavily on overgeneralizations by one side (the women) while refusing to hear the full story, perhaps because he'd sooner dismiss men's abysmal dating experiences as "redpill" than be presented with an uncomfortable truth. It's easier to label all young Catholic men as being video game-obsessed porn addicts, with lengthy felony rap sheets (LOL!), in addressing the questions of why... A. Catholic women report their expectations in dating aren't being met by these men, and B. Why Catholic men don't feel these women are worth pursuing ...Than it is to take the harder path of getting to the crux of certain topics (submission, modesty, unrealistic standards in dating, etc.) and perhaps upsetting many female viewers as a result.

Tell us more, please

😂😂

Join the church youth group.

Latin mass. from my experience the avg age is med 20s to like 36 or so

So true!! And courage is incredibly attractive in a man.

I have noticed this too and I am a woman. Not all, but many want "the perfect husband that will make them happy" but want to contribute little to nothing to the marriage themselves.

Max Knight There aren’t many virtuous women left, sadly. I’m so blessed that I found and married one.

@@VeniViciVeritas They probably number similarly to the number of virtuous men.

jeremy smith similarly, but from my experience less women maintain virtue. I have seen far more men convert to the faith in the last several years, many of whom I know personally. I haven’t met a single female convert. To the contrary I am seeing more and more women leave their faith which is deeply saddening. I have also been aware of more young women throughout my life who party hard and abuse drugs and alcohol. Throughout high school and college many guys I knew wanted to be in a relationship with a girl and eventually get married and start a family. Yet they were repeatedly rejected by women who did not want any of those things and all had nothing in mind but partying and having a good time. The feminist movement has brought about many of these things. It’s no wonder males turn to their Netflix and video games rather than pursuing women that have no desire to be someone’s wife. I could agree with many points made in this video, but I do not subscribe to the assertion that the situation is entirely or even mostly the fault of men. Society is what has emasculated today’s males. Women have played no small role in that at all.

I had a lengthy reply which I edited to explain my take the situation. As an RN of almost 20 years, I work in a profession full of young women. I’ve had many, many individual and group discussions on this issue. I disagree with this interviewee on some of his assertions, but it appears Matt is deleting comments and doesn’t want to see an actual discussion on the matter. Just reinforcement of his talking points, sadly.

I'm sorry to hear that you feel this way :(. We are all born to attract the opposite sex, you just have to tap into the masculine energy that is already inside you. You need a Catholic dating coach. They're out there but not easy to find, but with COVID they are probably doing virtual coaching. Or maybe you could read some secular dating advice and then ignore the parts that are problematic from a Catholic standpoint. Models by mark manson, New Game by Harris O'Malley, anything by Charles Sledge or Dr. Aziz Gazipura are great resources. You can do it, i'll pray for you!

A lot of women really don't care if a man is "unattractive." We want a man who is godly.

1. Get out of debt, you are not ready for marriage 2. Fix yourself if you're unattractive to boost your image 3. Have a good career and ask the ladies out, don't just talk to men, approach the girls you're interested in, introduce yourself and start talking.

@@catholicfemininity2126 lol. Definitely was depressed a year ago. I'm attractive, got a good job, my relationship with Christ is continually growing. Still in debt though. I've got everything I need, and yet the ladies still ignore me. Their loss tbh 🤷‍♂️

@@PolishBigfootCircle11 That was a big change from a year ago. Good on you...

@@anjr6282 while I appreciate your honesty, if you question the existence of God because of bad dating experiences, then you have turned your desire for a woman into an idol. I understand that you’re a broken man, wounded by this; but, I am confident that it goes far deeper than simply not being able to deal with rejection anymore. Also, the “it is not good for man to be alone” doesn’t only refer to the vocation of marriage, but to our human need for community in general. I understand that you’re angry at God, and I can sympathize with that, having been there. But, what I can’t sympathize with is questioning the existence of God over this. Take your anger to God in prayer. He doesn’t only want your positive moments and experiences; He wants the crap, too, including the anger and bitterness. If He can bring resurrection from crucifixion, then He can surely work with your brokenness. Also, I recently did an interview, touching base on much of this subject, for a podcast. While it’s available on virtually all major podcast platforms, as this is RU-vid, here’s a link for an audio-only track on here: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-kM767E327tc.html

Why don't we pray for eachother that God blesses us with strong Catholics to date and lead to marriage? Cause honestly, I'm at the point where I wish we could have arranged marriages again. xD Angels and Saints, St. Joseph, St. Jude of hopeless cases, PRAY FOR US PLEASE!

As an addon, there are a lot of women I have observed or encountered, who want the benefits of a relationship without the cost of one. They string men along, "friendzoning" vood men, but they still want to keep the men around. They want the companionship of many men, the emotional support, the affirmation, but they don't want the cost of what that ought to come with. That isn't fair to the men they use, and it isn't fair to the men they are CURRENTLY dating, while keeping other men around. This is not a one sided narrative.

I agree

@@IronKing66 Careful, dude. Your bitterness will ruin you. For the record, women are allowed to be friends with both men and women. Wanting to be strictly friends with a good man is a sign of a good woman. Being someone's friend is not "using" them. What isn't fair in the situation is the male friend expecting the woman to have romantic feelings for him just because he's a "good" guy.

@@jwork4240 you misunderstand; I'm not saying women cannot be friends with men, but I don't think it's healthy for a woman to expect of a man that he will give her the befits that come with a relationship, such as emotional support, affirmation, amd companionship, without any cost. THAT isn't healthy for either of them. Healthy emotional boundaries need to be established, especially in friendships between the sexes.

@@IronKing66 Emotional support, affirmation, and companionship without any cost are exactly what should occur in any friendship. What's unhealthy is to have a friendship WITHOUT those things. If a man is incapable of giving those things in a friendship, he has no business attempting any kind of relationship with anyone.

Best comment

"Listen if you have ears to hear!"

See here's the thing; I'm 32 now, and I'm still single I've asked out so many women, and most of them told me a hard no. It came to a point where I'm no longer asking anybody out, because of so many times that I've been told no. And the fact that I'm getting older as time goes by, I'm not getting any younger. And the fact that I'm loosing hair little by little, who's going to want me now? Now that I'm 32 I say to myself " I no longer see a point in going out, because that should have been a time when I was younger in my early teens through my early 20's to mid 20's. Now that I'm getting older who's going to want me now." And if God ever bothers in sending me a girlfriend, which of course I highly doubt. I'm going to reject her, and His gift because He should have sent me her a long time ago, why now!?! There are some things that I will never understand about God. Sometimes I even call Him a tyrant, because I of the life I was given. But at the same time well from my experience, some of you women are very shallow thinking to yourselves, or fantasizing about a charming prince asking you out. I was always left rejected, hoping if I'd be good enough for someone to ask me out. Sometimes you women are the problem, not just us men. So what do we do to cope with rejecting? We have to turn to other alternatives.

But you could approach them! You could ask them out. Is this not obvious?

Do you ever express interest in them, like initiating conversations?

@@eoinbrennan3949 --Sorry, I want to be the feminine one in the relationship, I want the man to come to me, because the times I asked men out, they were put off by my 'masculinity' ..plus, I notice that if a man really likes a woman, his eyes will light up and he'll put more effort into pursuing her, I want a man to do that for me....... so I figured, forget asking men out, I want them to ask me out like a man should. If a man isn't interested in a woman, he won't bother pursuing her.

@@Seethi_C ---All the time, but, it sadly never works. And I'm not gonna beg and act all desperate and chase them everywhere. No man is into that.

... The 3rd one is so frustrating because I have seen a few couples where the guy is totally my type, white and conservative, with a girlfriend who doesn't put much thought into her appearance or is fat and has average makeup........ some guys don't mind dating chubby gals, so where's a guy like that for me?? I dunno........

@@catholicfemininity2126 Some guys are into chubby gals, some don't mind and some tolerate it and some don't. I would say the majority are the ones who tolerate it.

@@catholicfemininity2126 speaking frankly, a little plumpness isn't a throwoff, but I see some gals, and think "gosh, can't you put down the processed foods for a week or two?" The marshmallow is a throwoff for sure. Assuming we're using girlfriend/boyfriend in the same context, (definition I was handed was +3 dates,) the gals you're looking at might have some security in the relationship at that point. The first big impression was made, and the guy is still around right? Average (or slightly reduced) upkeep can work from then on. Provided their upkeep doesn't deteriorate to nothing of course. Theoretically, a bond in terms of values and/or interests might be holding the unit together as they feel out whatever else needs to be felt out before tying the knot. I dunno either really. Take what you will, I'm just a guy looking for a gal. This sort of thing has been on the boilerplate of late.

But you are saying there are far fewer men seeking marriage than women...that statement in itself states there may be an issue with the men( their lack of interest). I do agree that the total emphasis should be placed on marriage, and not dating. I think courtship is a better way to go.

@@teresacatherine3811 With all due respect, I would point out that if the issue is that the men "lack interest," then it is up to interested women to spark that interest. I believe it would help if women post what they have to offer instead of just a long list of their own demands. A man needs to know that he would be getting a quality woman--someone special who has more to offer than other women, and is worth his time and investment to see if they are compatible enough to pursue marriage.

Within the subset of Catholics, it’s actually quite split, possibly even tilting towards men

@@Seethi_C I'm not quite sure what you are referring to. "Tilting" in what way?

Most men aren't out there living this swinging bachelor lifestyle. I think most men want to get married too

That's true, you can remain single. I WILL remain single. I just wish I didn't have the desire for progeny. But I just don't care about dating or marriage. I guess that's just the way it is.

Dude ur name

@@RoddyPipersCorneas hard agree. They likely found their wives 10-20 years ago, who themselves came from an insular community, and neither have ever looked back. That's a fault of any Catholic/Christian community- it tends towards insularity and thus becomes out of touch very quickly.

I was ghosted by men when I was online dating, so it’s not a woman thing, men do it as well.

@@GothVibeWarsone man of your 24 matches. The exception proves the rule. Women are terrible at connection

Are you still single?

@@nellyblancaflor5559what a strange and rather insensitive thing to say…

Yep. I actually had a Catholic woman pull out her dating app and casually go through the dozen guys that messaged her, one by one, dismissing each of them for having "funny eyes" or other unexceptional facial features, without actually looking at their profiles. It's a good thing she deemed my eyes and other features "nice", otherwise I wouldn't have gotten that first-hand glimpse into why the bottom 80% of men today are being ignored by women. Most Catholic women today are proving indistinguishable from modern women in that they're incredibly vain with their standards, rejecting perfectly well-to-do average men for superficial reasons, and ultimately marrying outside the Church in their 30s and 40s when they've run out of time... but naturally, we can't talk about that. It has to be men's fault, somehow.

Lmao, embarrassed son is embarassed

Amen

Ouch 😞

@@malgrosskreuz01 I 2nd that ouch.😂

Not true at all. Women who are aware of themselves know what they want any women who doesn't know or is too afraid to communicate what she wants shouldn't be in any relationship

@@bellacortez Most women

These are two men who were initially friendzoned by their wives (one of whom was into party / hookup culture at 15), and eventually their wives settled for them. Only because no better options were available and the clock was ticking, they got picked. I'm not sure I'd be making sweeping generalizations about single men if I were in their shoes, as it does come across as arrogant. I generally like the content these guys produce, but this video is nothing more than lip service to a certain demographic.

They talk to the same gender because the women circle up and are utterly unapproachable.

Stop being pathetic

@Res Vero You are creating an environment where men cannot talk about their problems.

@@danielbob2628 I'm doing nothing of the sort. When men talk about problems they seek to fix it. When women have problems they complain. The facts are that woman like virtue, strength and the ability to provide for a family. Work hard getting those things and you'll get a wife, complain on the RU-vid comment section and you'll go nowhere.

@@resvero8342women only want 6 foot chads and Tyrones and get ran through by them. Even catholic ones

Not all women are like that. NAWALT is a very true acronym, despite what MGTOW has to say. You can find the good women, they are out there. Use your gut instincts.

Well it's because it's true. I'm sure when you blew him off you told at least 1 if your friends about it

I most definitely did not spoil it for him with any other girls. And I most definitely did not bad mouth him to any mutual friends. I get where guys fear about this comes from, but it's kind of a fear that guys have to get over because if you hedge around the corners and aren't direct at all, honestly makes the problem worse and that's when I will be talking to friends and we'll all be wondering if you're flirting with multiple of us at the same time which feels a whole lot more like you might just be trying to play the field and are probably a whole lot more disrespectful. Just saying. I gave the dude a couple dates and then a very respectful conversation as to why I didn't think we were a good match to get married and should therefore not enter into a more serious romantic relationship. I definitely don't qualify that as blowing him off. I'd consider blowing him off at the beginning, but maybe any kind of rejection from a girl is considered blowing off in some guys minds... IDK...

No, but work through the struggle (which it sounds like you're talking about). A woman can be very compassionate to and admiring of a man who believes that it's wrong and is truly trying to conquer that.

@@alyce-kayruckelshaus1224 that’s precisely what I’m talking about no one wants to willingly stay sick.

@@DwayneEagle114 Since you want to get well, it's probably hard for you to imagine (and that's wonderful) how many DON'T want to get well. Read some of the comments here and you'll see a couple men who are defending their habit. Many of my friends (women) suffer with Christian husbands who are into porn with no intent of giving it up. Be encouraged, Dwayne! God will help you overcome, and there's a woman out there who will greatly admire you for that. We DO realize how difficult it is, especially in our culture, and we have great respect for men who are genuinely working on it. It shows us a man who wants to follow God, who strives to be righteous, who is humble and will guide us in devotion. DONT GIVE UP! I'm saying a prayer for you right now before hitting the "reply" button.

@@alyce-kayruckelshaus1224 the ones defending it are unfortunately weak but yes it’s the humanistic rationalisation of a lack of hope of being with an actual women and lack of faith and trust I’ve Been in their shoes but I know I can’t defend something that is not the truth.

@@DwayneEagle114 You're going to defeat this, with God's help! And you'll make a great husband for some blessed gal.

A picnic, long bike ride or just a walk at a park, draw with chalk outside, get some paint from the dollar store and paint pictures of each other, trying to make a meal out of what you have at home (NO SHOPPING 😂), play a sport together, or make playlists of songs that remind you of each other!

Yes, to Aileen's ideas! Women generally love things that are creative. Being poor kind of forces you into creativity. Lucky for you!

@@alyce-kayruckelshaus1224 well, I am a creative soul. I make jewerly when I get bored...

@@PolishBigfootCircle11 A man who makes jewelry? You know how many women would love that. Keep rocking it.

It is ideal to get your finances in order and make sure you have a job before dating. Unless you are like a teenager

True RightRight yes?

Mine too. Maybe its You Tube.. My comment was innocuous.

That's so weird

Me too. You are not alone. God has not forgotten us.

Maybe it's a blessing in disguise. The alternative is likely worse

you don't want a selfish arrogant

I think most men would be happy to "man up" if the benefits of doing so was worth the cost, but it usually just.... isnt. What do men gain in return for "manning up"? Women culturally do not respect men; they don't display classical feminity; many women can't cook, clean, or sew, and find the idea of being a traditional homemaker highly offensive; they want careers not families; they can divorce men at the turn of a dime with no grounds to do so, taking half of his income, posessions, and getting full costody of his children; they have unrealistic expectations of romance thanks to hallmark movies and chick flicks; they pursue toxic men in favor of good men; they want to recieve the world on a platter from a Catholic Brad Pitt, but they are unwilling to painstakingly craft themselves into individuals who even *remotely* deserve such a man. This is not a one sided issue, and until that is recognized, nothing will change. All the risk of marriage and relationship is on men, and the rewards men may have once gained from marriage have been eroded to a point where, unless a woman is TRULY extraordinary, it isn't worth risking the soul shattering consequences of things falling appart.

@Patz13 Both are called to be virtues. Ant I would say generally, virtues people can be found equally among men and women. But upbringing and society can have an influence on that balance. I have too little experience to tell in whos favor it is. And here in Switzerland it's most likely different anyways. It might be true that he is self centered. Like most people. And it's not purely self-inflicted. Other men and women have an influence on that as well. 80% of the divorces are initiated by the women. And both can divorce because of no reason. Normally the man is the one who earns more. So when things are split half, they will lose more. And the other logical consequence is also, that the person who invests more money into the partnership will be financially better off after divorce. And the person with the higher salary needs to pay child support payments. Guess who that is in most cases. And about 75% of the time the women is the primary care giver of children after divorce. I'm not to sure if he sees women as bad, at least I don't. But if one gender is treated differently than the other it can be a bit frustrating. Especially when you know several men who don't want the divorce and then they can see their children rarely and have to give away a lot of money to ex-partner. While at the same time you never hear that happen to a women in your life. (This isn't that big of a topic in my life, but for some it is, because they know quite a few people who lived through that.)

@@IronKing66 Part of "manning up" is wanting to do it just for yourself because it makes you a better person. I hope you're able to find the woman you've described. I spent 35 years as a homemaker/homeschooler and loved it. Those women are still out there - I've seen many young women wanting a man who is looking for exactly what you're asking and they feel like men want a woman who will bring in the bacon. Ask God to show you where they are, and keep working on your character (a never-ending goal, right?). Be encouraged, brother.

I met my husband on catholic match and when he came to see me it was with my parents/brothers. We didn’t go out alone until we got engaged. I like that. It protects both parties in my opinion in being serious to get married. Happily married for 7 years now with 4 little ones

Not really, if you look into history, you'll know that it's always the man that asks out, but the woman shows interest by initiating conversation or 'dropping the hankerchief'... and if the man is interested, he'll pursue her.... But never did the woman take the masculine role by asking a man out... too many times I've seen that, it never works out great in the long run.

@@catholicfemininity2126 that's a social construct, not a divine order. People made that up but its not a given. If you wanted to become a doctor for example, you'd go to medical school and go after it. It would be ridiculous to think that you would wait, sit back and expect someone to knock on your door and give you a medical degree. It's the same with this......whether you be man or woman, if there's someone you like you should approach them, not sit back and expect them to come to you. There's a word for that type of thing, it's called being "haughty".

@@eoinbrennan3949 actually, I agree with her here. It's not a social construct for men to pursue women they're interested in. That's the way it's supposed to go

@@WhiteChocolate74 So every man you see and youre attracted to, you pursue? Something tells me the answer to that is No. Do if you don't pursue men you're interested in then why do you assume that if a man is interested in you that this means he should or even will pursue you? If men pursued every woman they're attracted to they'd spend their whole lives chasing women.

@@eoinbrennan3949 plot twist for you...I'm a man. I mean, the woman should signal to you that she's interested, but it's sort of the masculine role to pursue