What Does A Narcissist Mean When They Say THIS - (10 Narc Speak Translations) 

I no longer doubt that narcissists are truly evil...pure evil and insane. They never stop praying on their victims. Demonic in every way! Pray and be safe this is spiritual warfare!!

The x mimicked me so perfectly at first. I thought he was my soul mate. When I fell in love …. I actually fell in love with his reflection of me. All very addictive and twisted.

Mine told me he was going on a retreat to rethink the rest of his life.. i hope he goes on a permanent retreat😂

To quote Jeff Foxworthy, “I need some space” is half a sentence. The rest is “without you in it”.

Have you ever noticed the bad mood that they’re in , especially when you first get to their house on a beautiful day ???

"Space"?? Here's the best way you can give a narc 'space'. Wait until they go off to work or on one of their many trip's without you. Start packing your essentials. Call on a few friends in advance to help you leave. Your new lodgings may be temporary (don't worry). When the narc returns home? He/she? Can now have all the empty space they desire 👌🎯🛀

The best thing that happened for me is when he went off with someone. It was a slap on the face and a wake up for me. His hoover was met with silence.

"Set you up for the rumination" How in-depth this disorder meanders into the psych of their prey. I continue to be amazed at the depth of your understanding of this "Phenomena" and your ability to clearly communicate in easy to understand terms. I'm so grateful to be in community with you and have you as a resource for my healing and deliverance.

It's absolutely mind boggling how they seem to all follow the same playbook all around the world. They even use the same "Narc Speech." Especially, the "Let's still be friends" Narc Talk. My exN husband kept asking me to be his friend. I kept having to tell him "NO! I CAN'T BE YOUR FRIEND!" while were going through the process of getting divorced. He kept breaking my heart over, and over when he would ask me that because I couldn't understand how he could say that to me. We had been married for over 3 decades. And, he could just flip a switch, and just be friends. Finally, he came straight out, and asked me if we could "Be friends with benefits." That's when I knew I had been married to a Predator for 32 years. He disgusts me now. He's a very SICK individual! They all are!

It's the nature of abuse to make people doubt themselves and to lose their confidence. This leads to social anxiety, unemployment and financial struggle. A video on restoring confidence and self belief would go a long way to help people in this struggle.

I particularly like #10, this is so spot on for a covert narcissist. "I love you" means "I love you loving me".

YOU ARE SO RIGHT! Narcs have their own meaning for EVERYTHING ---and anyone involved with one must KNOW the language of NARC SPEAK---because you can bet it will NOT mean the same to anyone with a sound mind!!!

These were the last words the Narcissist texted me. "I sincerely hope we can be friends." Sincerely - what a sick joke 🤬 I believe the only genuinely honest thing he told me was that he is damaged goods and a lost cause. It really is a crime to pretend you're capable of a healthy, reciprocal relationship, when you know damn well you aren't. You are just collateral damage to them.

We must accept that this is just how these toxic snakes roll , we can never change or SAVE them , and you will not be the last victim to their cloaked comments , manipulations and mind games . Just be glad you realised you were being duped and are now finally free ! 🙏💪❤️❤️

I just got discarded 3 days ago because I caught him cheating online. He wouldn’t talk to me about it, no remorse whatsoever. He said “I don’t have the energy for this anymore, take care I love you goodbye.” Was all just an inconvenience to him, easier to just disappear. Also saying “take care and I love you” is so empty and meaningless after what he did to me. The pain is intolerable. 😢

What blows me away is they all went to the same NarcSpeak school. Here are some lovelies: We’ll get you squared away( stonewalling language, because he delayed on things I asked him, 2. I’m the best you’ll ever have?? grandiosity 3. Look he’s lying, his eyes go to the left, in response to someone on tv, trying to throw me off with his lying method, manipulative tactic and 4. You make a better man(during lovebomb stage). I can laugh now, over a year out. But early on heavy trauma bond and cognitive dissonance I couldn’t have laughed. I pray now for the New Supply to figure his games faster than I did. I have the KNOWLEDGE now.

Yes every sentence you told about, especially “ nobody has ever done this for me” i sent her flowers and chocolates on valentines day, I remember she told me, “ i never thought i was this special & nobody has ever showed such love” then the sentence “i love you” she started saying this dozen times a day the very first week we started talking while i was reluctant and felt so strange. These narcs are expert manipulators!

“No one has ever done anything like this for me before.” I heard that many many times at the onset of the relationship. Gift giving, electronics for “work” (what a joke in hindsight) and trips. My gifts looked like they came from the last minute grab aisle before the check out. Because they did!

He gave expensive gifts in the beginning, but I always felt it was a set up. I didn't feel comfortable receiving the gifts, but always showed appreciation. The last Christmas, I got 2 sets of pajamas sizes 2x, I wear small/medium. He played dumb and he told everyone about it and got a good laugh. I knew it was done on purpose to make me feel bad.

Oh wow can't believe what I'm hearing! I got EXACTLY that. " No one has ever done that for me before ". Also at the discard "but we can still be friends". I don't think so!! If ever I douted he was a narcissist this has confirmed everything Paula. And to add on he also used the "you're not ready for a relationship" !!!

Its hard when your healing ,I just wouldn't hear any of it today. I just feel so stupid to have felt so co dependant on this monster. No matter how confident you are in yourself and who you are , they are con men. They get off on destruction of woman some of them..I know too there are women narcs but far much more men.

My last relationship 2 years ago was long distance with a lady who i think was a covert sociopathic narcissist even though she reckons she was just a bpd, when i caught her cheating on a dating app and pulled her on it she said to me YOU DON'T LIKE IT WHEN YOU SEE ME ON A DATING APP.. bloody cheek as if it's my fault she got caught cheating on a bloody dating app lol....what she really meant by that was I DON'T LIKE IT WHEN YOU CATCH ME CHEATING ON YOU ON A DATING APP....

"Aren't you a little too old for birthday cake and presents?" 16 years of nothing. He doesn't even know the date. (In my family we love birthdays and the ladies buy each other handbags on Easter. It's just our thing. ) Friends look out for each other.

The narc used to say I was too caring for my children. He started bullying them right after we moved into his house. He always tried to convince me they did all sorts of bad things. It was a complete set up. He made up stories. So horrible. Further he said that I was a wolf in sheep’s clothes!! That is a sentence that would come back. I left him a year ago and I never ever want to see him again. Yesterday I realized I had some positive thoughts about myself and not only guilt of what I did to my children. I love them so much and we are all still healing from the years in the narc’s horror house with all the stupid rules. Thank you Paula for your amazing videos❤

Whenever...I would express my very real concerns about how he was choosing to parent our children.. He would just look at me with that cold, dark stare and say that "children are resilient". That I was being over protective. That I was blowing thing's out of proportion. That I needed to 'relax'. Please..'listen' to your own intuition 🙏💌

I ended things with my Narc last weekend when I yet again set a boundary And he trampled all over it. Through a text he said ‘your the love of my life, we have an amazing connection, but this is way to much drama and pressure-let’s just be friends’ he is extremely introverted, and I am either In denial thinking he found another source-or I feel in my case he is using the friend card to soften the blow so he doesn’t feel the impact of abandonment which causes a narcissist injury. He has not blocked me on any social media, nor on his phone. I declined the offer and told him to go pound sand. I have been doing this song and dance with him for over two years, and when I finally ended it I went super nova and I don’t think he knew how to handle it.

I remember all too well when first learning to speak Russian seems I heard way too often, "You never know, the way the world is now that could maybe save your life someday." And I knew in some kind of crazy circumstance it could, I've seen the "Red Dawn" movie. However, it now seems apparent that in a Global World Narcissistic Takeover of Mankind, it would probably pay bigger dividends to be able to translate and understand "Narc-Speak" fluently. haha but no lol.

It’s amazing how twisted these Narcs are and no matter how hard their “ supply” is trying to please them , it NEVER works.

She also said to me YOU DON'T LOVE ME IT'S ALL IN YOUR HEAD which she really means by that was I DON'T LOVE YOU IT'S ALL IN MY HEAD...

So on point Paula. They will determine who you are and just how much attention you will receive during birthdays as well as giving birth to your own children. A complete lack of normal, comforting gestures such as hugs, loving word's or support. Literally facial expressions from the narc that clearly indicate not only to you ..but your children as well that any amount of sincere attention for you...is a complete pain in the butt to them and unworthy of their time. When I gave birth to our 2nd baby...The doctor's had to proceed with a C-Section...It was extremely stressful. The narc proceeded in a cold voice to tell all the doctors present "She'll be fine". They all looked up at him completely gobsmacked ...He showed me absolutely zero gestures of comfort nor love. His entire demeanor was that of a person who was unwillingly even wanting to be 'present'. When I 'came to' from the medication...I woke to seeing him and his mother on the opposite side of the hospital room I was in...They were discussing that the birth of my second daughter was far too much of an expense given the fact that he was trying to get joint custody of my stepson from his first marriage. He literally didn't even come to give me a hug nor kiss...when he realized that I had awakened...He continued to sit and chat with his mother until my oldest sister came to visit. They both looked at my sister like she was somehow an inconvenience. My sister came to greet my new baby and give me a hug. She started to cry and they just stared at her like she was some kind of an alien. These people are absolutely sick. If it's not about 'them'? It has no importance nor validity. This is the 'why' I will tell any young women who discover that they are pregnant with the child of a narc...To literally never tell him of their pregnancy. PLEASE DO NOT. Save yourself as well as your child from the ensuing heartache. Nothing you provide will ever be good enough and 'any' basic needs you have after giving birth will be completely denied. You literally don't matter. I realize that my message comes across as cold. Please forgive me for this...but I've lived through it and it's a fact. And please stop blaming yourself for their b.s. You deserve better 💚💌

The road to rediscovery and redefinition is a long one , it's not easy , and there are always going to be bumps in the road , but when you start to finally grow , flourish and shine once again , instead of crumbling without them , you realise how fake and pathetic THEY truly are !! Another great video , Paula ! Remember my fellow survivors ,..it's never too late for a CORONATION of renewed self confidence and inner peace 🎉💪👑❤️ x

The narcissistic wife and her husband have their birthdays close together, well, a month apart. So the narcissistic wife suggests to have just one party, at her birthday, which is one month later. Nothing happens at her husband's birthday, not even a mention. Big party at her big day, of course, again no mention of his that went by unnoticed....Later, she says with a laugh: "I had a great party! His birthday got a tad bit lost...I had totally forgotten about it...oh, well.." The sad and embarrassed look on his face almost killed me.

Mine wanted my pension several years. It was for my kids. It was one of many reasons why I left. If they push for your pension. Leave.

I’ve never loved anyone like I love you. I never experienced these feelings for a woman ever! We have a once in a lifetime connection.😊

A master manipulator is always gonna have another language cos they cant outright say what they really want, what they really mean, and what they really feel (plus they have to be sly while manipulating others to think certain things about us ) if what they meant was genuine it wouldnt be a game anymore( and they need the game) thats why we get so confused? cos while we are being genuine, they are being agenda based and trying to manipulate our feelings for certain things 😙💓💗🩷

interesting....I was between homes and hired a contractor to build my new home. started out focusing on similarities we had and capitalized on my feelings. he quickly moved to , 'I have an apartment on my land that you could live in for free'....hard NO, I hardly knew this person yet thought 'why would this man offer this to me when we hardly knew each other and this was a business relationship, NOT personal. WOW, I allowed this situation to continue until he asked for $10,000 to continue working on my build process, no contract, no plan. Eh gads....hard NO! after 6 months of working with this individual, i felt like I was being enveloped into his energy, losing my individuality, I have never felt like this and it was a frightening experience as I review how I got to this place. I am a strong, independent woman yet for some reason, I fell into this toxic relationship. 6 months of my life....lessons learned.

Whenever i asked him if he was ok or going to be ok he would say,' I will always be ok'. That was a weird response i thought , expected a reply more like ' yes I've just had a hard day or im tired today whenever he was moody. Was the last thing he said as well! Always the plan self self self!

YIKES!!!!!! So, you KNEW my husband????? You certainly spoke his language in that video. P.S.---He couldn't get me to put his name on my deed.....thanks goodness! It's been said that no one falls in love as quickly as a narcissist who needs a new place to live. That seems to be accurate.

@13:40 😂😂😂 "In fact you can fly up to SPACE and if you get stuck there maybe that's just the place for you"

I found that my narcissistic ex would slip up and real truths occasionally would come out of her mouth. You had to listen carefully or you would miss the truth in the forest of her lies. For example she once said to me “love is just a game”

"I just need some space." Elon Musk

One thing he said a lot was, “I’m easy to get over.” He said it when we were talking about possibly not being together anymore. Why did he say that so much?

Thank you so much for trying to help us. The most powerful advice to keep in mind in dealing with ALL Narcissist, is "Actions Speak Louder Than Words". They'll say absolutely anything to you to keep you under their spell, while meanwhile trying to break you down to your brake-pads.

Mine said I was too damaged for a relationship with him and I’m high maintenance from a man who cheated several times discarded me several times gaslit lied hoovered etc I blamed myself for so long thank you Paula yet again for your videos just when I need them

I definitely got a chuckle out of the "space" comment. And I agree - they can go to space and stay there. :)

Yes this is exactly what they say it scary how they are all the same!

“I love you for you” and “I love you but I’m not in love with you”

When he was discarding me. He told me “You will soon see what I see”.

They love friends with benefits 😮

Does anyone else dream about their narc in the recovery journey?

In the early days “If you ever leave me, I’m not chasing after you.”

I see, that is what “friends” mean 😅

He would always say to me, “I don’t deserve you, I’m not worthy of you” “I understand if you leave me” but I love you so much. “I wouldn’t blame you if you don’t want me, I wouldn’t want my daughters to be with someone like me”

Then move in together…and in my case buy a house together. 😢 He also recommended we share a birthday party to his recommendation since they were close enough together.

Yes, Paula, go LIVE.

I got "Let's be civil and be friends still" Luckily for me I declined and told her I am not being used by you , incase it doesn't work out with whoever you've been seeing, not that I ever knew for sure she was seeing someone. She didn't expect that, If it wasn't for these videos I'd of took her up on the offer,and be still in her toxic circle, It's crazy when they play out these scenarios for real, Enjoyed this video paula👍👍👍👍👍

It’s so sad to see so many people are addicted to these predators.

There’s no more space in your life for me. He told me this when I was visiting my family and friends back in my home country.

I remember we bought a piece of land together but put it in his name bc I had scheduled a refinance of my house and didn’t want to show another payment. After I got it refinanced I wanted my name be added to the deed of the land. He refused. Yup. Today im glad he did. I’ve got nothing to do with this bastard anymore.

Another tactic they use to get control of your finances is to want to get a joint bank account and to do joint taxes. The one I experienced tried to convince me to to do joint tax returns by lying that it would save me money I said no to joint account and taxes but unfortunately had other financial ties to him like buying a house together when I put 100% into purchase and then he kept manipulating me to say that he house is all his as I don't deserve the house because I don't look after the house like he does, if say I left a few coffee cups in the sink .

Seriously, i have gone beyond thinking, "WHY?" One of my sisters passed away, and it was 3 days before my birthday, My birthday still went ahead. I was a bit quiet but definitely smiling (these things happen i couldn't change it, it happened) My ex-husband said "whats wrong with your face? ".... i looked at him and said "my sister's just died", he said, with no emathy "wtf has that got to do with anything", i took a deep breath and tried to go outside, he followed me and started calling me a destroyer and im a tooo sensitive, i asked him to leave me alone, he was trying to KISS me 🤢 in a selfish way. When i was pregnant, his dad found out i was having a girl. They tried to manipulate me to have an abortion. Then i found out i was pregnant again. i had a miscarriage. Instead of having compassion, his dad blamed me and said "your lucky my son is still with you."🤢 I can't believe i let them treat me that way. When i started college, i wanted to study psychology, and my ex sabotaged everything. He completely changed one of my assignments, but when i went back to Proof read, i noticed and put it back. Everything i did, he or his dad, sabotaged it. His dad snatched the phone out of my head and pushed me off a chair, i was talking to my DAD, my dad lives in Australia, and im in the UK. You know, he gaslights all my memories. When i think about what i went through im confused, but if i remember it from another person looking at it, i am so shocked, i cant believe how strong i am, i did stand up for myself manytimes, i tried to tell them how they would make me feel (i was gaslighted). I couldn't stop laughing when i found out someone with ADHD is a narcissists nightmare 🤣 i am ADHD! i must of unwittingly drove him mad, i believe my ADHD was my blessing and super power, and i didnt know it! I found that out yesterday. People with ADHD we are free spirits, that like space. We are not easily controlled. I tell people, i do not like being a follow nor am i leader, im free. My ex-husband choice the wrong one. I had angles around me and didn't know it! Till now.

Hi Paula, great video as always. My Mr Narc told me at the first discard, his feelings for me hadn't developed as he'd hoped and it's better to end things now. I now understand this really meant, I couldn't be controlled and manipulated as he wanted. He hoovered and came back a month later only to discard again without closure.

You are correct. He asked me too move in with him... In the moment i said yes. Later on i said i dont really feel it would be a good idea. His reply was, but you said you would move in with me and kept on until i caved in. Their are so many out their. He would never listen to me right up until i left.

I dumped him all the time. Because I had already been married for years to a man with NPD. I got stronger and learned the patterns

Thank you! You’re the best! U help us a lot ❤

"Only I will ever know the truth." ..many moons ago a damaged woman told me this BS.

Thank you Paula!!! Tha last thing she typed to me was... "I am your friend" 😝 Thank you so much Paula!!! 💖

I watch your videos regularly. Being able to talk to someone who understands this situation without having to explain would be so helpful and thank you for all your help now.

They will also go above and beyond on your birthday and then take a pic of it, decorations, cake/food etc ..to be able to show what a good person they are

Love this video, one of your best! Re. Point 2 though - it's always true that the narcissist will tell you how you feel and who are (brilliant pointing that out) the other way they'll go is make a HUGE FUSS so they appear generous and can bathe in reflected glory.

I remember in Aberdeen, the joke was that it was "a head wank". I found that disturbing, but now understand.

I love when you said “fly up to space and get stuck there” was absolutely spot on!!!!!! 🤭😀😆🥰

I heard let's move in together within the first 2 weeks. I heard let's be FWB and I had no idea what FWB even was. He led me to believe that I was the best person he had ever met. I was made to feel very special. I'll call you in a few days was what he said to me. He said that he didn't know if we were going to work out. I heard your friends are weird. I had no family. I can't be around your son because of the way he treated you. By then I had trusted him with my secrets. He used everything I trusted him with. He used it against me.

I keep vacillating wildly from thinking perhaps there were just a series of misunderstandings to she was a narc

My narcs best words was. 1. Glory to God 2. He prays some gibberish before eating 3. You cant curse what God has blessed 4. You need help 5. Judge and you will be judged. 6. Everyone is jealous of me 7. This world is sick 8. Your family is jealous of me 9. People always try to cause trouble because they jealous 10. I'm the king These words made me sick. They do all the devil stuff but act like they all holy. Evil people. Sleep around but they in absolute denial when all the proof is right infront of them

Yep, he would say, “your sons will be happy you left me”, they didn’t like me

Hey Paula & Remy Remy LOVE FROM ME & MY BABY JEFE🐕🥰💖 Thank you so much for being lovely and kind towards us. You are a VERY SWEET SOUL MS. PAULA . I WILL SURELY LOVE TO JOIN!!! WE ALL LOVE YOU& AND GOD BLESS YOU ALWAYS!!!😇❣️🙏🥰🐕🌹😊

Married 7 months she said I caused her stress and anxiety that caused her to be sick,She was always sick with something,She would say she was fragile

When we met friends of his exwife he told them we would move in and already looking for a new house for the two of us. This was after 4 months together. I laughed and said Well, we will see in time. Oh how insulted he was. I knew him saying this to those friends was actually a message to his exwife. After I broke up the relationship and rejected friendship he would ask Why can't we just two humans who like each other. I thought bc neither of this is the truth. At least one of us isnt a human at all😂 Another one is I wish I had met you in former years what wonderful children that would have been and I was I DO have wonderful children. Another one after the breakup is I want to be a better man with your help. The EMails I received after my breakup are narcisstic at its best. So crystal clear the manipulation is to see. Its actually ridiculous.

Yes, put something in your mind. I called this putting it out there to see what he could get. All the time from early in the entanglement, I can't call it a relationship any more.

You explain it so well 💯 spot on everything you have said is exactly how it was for me…they are pure Evil thank you Paula

Proverbs 16:28 (NKJV) A perverse man sows strife, And a whisperer separates the best of friends.

Get our brain straight ...Dam right.

Yeah. That would help

Your advice is GOLD.

Yes, yes, yes! Forced me to add his name to my house. Trickery.

ΟMG...all resonates 100%

He waited 7 months to tell me we should move in. He would say it would be beneficial for me to have him move in for financial reasons

I think you doing lives would be awesome, looking forward to that day

Great video thankyou Paula. I've been busy getting my head n life on straight. You have helped me in the darkest days. I've got my 5 grown children back they kept their distance during the turmoil. We all had a great day out at an open Farm last Saturday. It was my granddaughters 5th birthday. Big day with family n friends. Couldn't keep my daughter ( mother of three ) she had a go on the zip line we didn't read the sign No Adults. My daughter in law's sister (mother of two ) had fun down the shute in the play park. Hilarious. And I got to stroke a lama. Weird animal I got out of the way before she spat. I'm a survivor thanks to you. Life is starting to feel normal again. ❤

He’d always say I love you more as a manipulation to make me try harder and harder to prove my love to him.

She said she wasn’t about money,but she wanted her name on my business card

Family thing is so funny and so true. I got that 🙋‍♂️ yes she couldn’t isolate me from me family they helped me grow again and she hates it lol she hates other women like my female friends who also helped me grow it’s so weird and crazy never have I seen some like this

I heard most of these phrases another one for me was you keep giving mixed messages, totally confusing me, another one were like brother and sister all because we haven't been intimate because of her behaviors, Marie would say something crazy and when you ask her what was that all about she would try and lovebomb and say you no I love you,, confusing again, great video Paula 🌹❤️

After 8 years together I got told x20 times or so...'We're incompatible'..After I got to the end of my tether with her bs plus I got wind of her new supply. I walked out the door and she asked why? I said 'we're incompatible,right'....the pissed off look on her face.....😅 v satisfying to beat her to the punch

Mine kept saying maybe we need to take a step back whenever i complained about bad behavior...

The deed issue came up three mo into the relationship 😂 NO WAY !!! So the love was gone and the sex too 😮 but grey rocked and finally she moved away but still wanted me to stay in the relationship 😂 so I waited like a lion behind the bushes and finally blocked her 🎉

Another sentence I always had from him was "you saved me"... Until he found someone new and didn't need me anymore 😥

Maybe a membership (low fee )that allows access to zoom meetings.

I have heard ALL of these phrases..so affirming.Thank you