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what does financial ABUSE in a relationship look like?!? | PERSONAL FINANCE TIPS

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PERSONAL FINANCE TIPS - Financial or money abuse is a common type of abuse in relationships, yet it's sometimes unrecognized. Here's how to spot money abuse in a relationship, including tips on how to take control of your finances
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Опубликовано:

9 ноя 2021

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Комментарии : 79

@HangNguyen-ih8rf 2 года назад

When I got pregnant with my son, the baby’s daddy proposed a plan; he asked me to give him all my paychecks to him so he could “take care of all the bills.” He then would get me a 1k credit card limit which is under his name which he could cancel anytime …also his bank account have nothing to do with me. He doesn’t even want to get marry neither. Basically he was trying to put me in a position to control me etc. I said hell to the NO and walk away while 6 months pregnant. He thought I was trap since I became an unwed mother and I can’t leave him and have to agree to all his ridiculous pathetic demands. Nope. I did have to pay a price because of my culture background and facing my mom was very hard but I got me & my son out of an abusive relationship 👍

@thebrokenwallet 2 года назад

Thank you for sharing your experience. So happy you were able to get out.

@tashawilliams8093 Год назад

👏 👏 👏

@Jolicosmonaute 2 года назад

It is important to remember that you can also suffer from financial abuse while being the actual breadwinner in charge of the finances, the other person may manipulate you to center all of your decisions around them and lose your independence to decide what to do with your money and with your life

@thebrokenwallet 2 года назад

That's a good point. Thanks!

@psychologicalsiren5232 Год назад

If you live together and one is the bread winner. It's not their own wage.

@victoryamartin9773 2 месяца назад

Yep that's me. This homeless couple slowly persuaded me to let them use my electricity, then my water and Internet, my washer and dryer, trash cans, etc, until they had full access to my house and everything in it. Then they started buying large appliances and office equipment, plugging each into my outlets. On them they run their computers, printers, air conditioner, multiple space heaters, and microwave, 5 freezers, and 2 refrigerators. What have I done? I let them pitch their tent in my front yard in return for their friendship. Now they say I owe them $1000s for all the hours they spent counseling me on how to use my money to bless needy people while trusting God to provide for me. Having lost my source of income, I asked them to move because I cannot afford to provide for them any longer. Instead of thanking me for my years of giving to them and graciously moving on, they dug their claws in deeper, entrenching themselves in my house, and are continuing to buy more and more supplies for their personal use at my expense.

@marksugerman3989 2 года назад

In the series “Maid” financial abuse was actually portrayed very realistically. It is a good example for women to watch.

@Happy2haveHaters 2 года назад

I absolutely agree

@bellamia8867 2 года назад

So many people don’t discuss the financial aspects of domestic violence, I got into a very bad financial situation due to an abusive ex. Money wasn’t kept from me but if I didn’t give him money when he wanted it (even when I didn’t have it) he would get angry and it would become dangerous. I got into a ton of credit card debt to keep him placated. Another aspect that’s often overlooked was AFTER I left….after being so frightened and controlled I went into what I refer to as a “freedom spree” where I spent very irresponsibly because I was “allowed to” and dug my financial hole even deeper.

@thebrokenwallet 2 года назад

Thank you for sharing your experience.

@nikkifindme7072 2 года назад

How did you get out of that..........did he ever help fix what he hurt?

@bellamia8867 2 года назад

@@nikkifindme7072 it was a process, Once I ended the relationship it took another year before I truly realised the seriousness of the situation. I worked with an amazing person from a company that helps people in debt and worked out a plan. It took a few years but I clawed myself out of that hole. Unfortunately by this point his decisions had cost him his life so no he didn’t help but I didn’t need or want the help. I changed careers to something where I was both happier and made more money and now I’m not rich but I’m no longer stressed about how the bills are going to get paid or feeling nauseous when the phone rings thinking it’s the bank again.

@thisis.michelletorres444 2 года назад

Bravo for taking this on. A difficult topic handled responsibly.

@thebrokenwallet 2 года назад

Thank you!

@lionessrising 2 года назад

Thank you for this because I’m sick of folks saying if a person is being abused why don’t they just leave. Folks forget that if someone is being abused they are being controlled in multiple ways. Financial abuse prevents many especially women from leaving an abusive relationship.

@germenehilda 2 года назад

I was with my ex for four years when we had our daughter. He tried to convince me right away to quit my job and rely on him so that I could be home with the baby and any future children. My hesitation to abandon a job I loved and had very good seniority at irritated him to the point where he showed other signs of abuse. I snapped out of postpartum brain fog took my baby and never looked back. Almost nine years later, I’m a single mom and not doing the best financially but I’m free to do and invest in whatever I please while building a nest egg for the both of us.

@quentinhoward89 2 года назад

I mean this in the most respectful way. You decided to struggle financially on your own rather than stay with your daughters father. Was he able to provide a situation?

@germenehilda 2 года назад

@@quentinhoward89 was he able to provide what situation?

@reneapalmer6977 2 года назад

As a social worker I see this daily 😪

@anonomas6126 Год назад

Financial abuse is insidious. For me it creeped up slowly. We agreed that I would stay at home and from there I lost access to account with the money in it. The taxes and had to ask for every penny. Now I’m deeply in debt my husband blew through $109,000 in ten months and served me with divorce papers.

@MysticBudgets 2 года назад

This is definitely a form of abuse that gets over looked thank you for sharing!

@vixxcottage 2 года назад

Wow this is more common that anyone wants to believe. I knew a woman that had to bring her paystub to her husband and every penny had to be trackable. One time she had to stop @ Walmart for feminine hygiene products on the way home from work. He wouldn't speak to her for 3 days.

@thebrokenwallet 2 года назад

That's so sad....it's frightening how common it is. And the worst part is that some people don't recognize the abuse.

@juanitasullivan3372 2 года назад

Thank you sooooooooooo much for hitting on this subject! This is what I write about, domestic abuse. Financial abuse is huge part of it. You really hit on the facts. This is one way abusers keep their victims "in place". Many victims don't have the means to leave due to no money. If they have no family support to go to, a shelter for the victims could be available. I say "could be" because they are not everywhere. Even if one is available and a victim gets into one, you can only stay about 4-6 weeks. This is not long enough to find a job and save enough to get one's own place. This is part of the reason many go back to the abuser. Having said that, not all women who are stay at home mom's are victims or being abused, just as you said.

@christinagipperich2780 5 месяцев назад

As fewer people are unable to afford daycare, more families will have one parent not working for an extended period of time. With that in mind, I think there is a huge potential for financial abuse to increase in our society. It’s so hard to prove this pattern of behavior in a relationship especially when other forms of coercive control are in play.

@Vtones25 2 года назад

Great video. I have a close family member that was dealing with this and had no idea. I was under the impression they had a good financial plan due to her staying with the children but he was using his money to keep her from doing anything, including going to just a simple brunch with girlfriends. Thanks for talking about it.

@elegantgrannytv 2 года назад

So very happy to see this! I am a DV activist and sometimes advocate. I talk about this a lot especially right now on some of my platforms about my personal experience with financial abuse. It is so important for people to understand what it is and what it isn't which I feel you covered magnificently. Thank you, and your work is most appreciated 🖤🧡

@thebrokenwallet 2 года назад

Thank you, I appreciate it! Yes, it's so important for people to understand and recognize this. Thank you for watching!

@runawayshay6409 2 года назад

Thank you lady!! This is so great! This can be a series delving deeper into specifics: how financially intertwined you are in marriage, pros and cons of pre nuptial agreements, signs of financial elder abuse etc. Love you channel!

@thebrokenwallet 2 года назад

Thank you! That's a great idea!

@FineNaturalHairROCKS 2 года назад

This happens to so many women. Great topic and good for you for bringing it to our attention.

@thebrokenwallet 2 года назад

Yes it does! And what's really sad is some people don't even recognize this abuse

@FineNaturalHairROCKS 2 года назад

@@thebrokenwallet sad but true 💔

@abbyhenderson9574 2 года назад

Fantastic video! I was watching extreme cheapskates over the weekend and I was horrified with the man whose wife is working but has to ask for a daily allowance from him. It seemed really off and this hit the nail on the head. Thank you for bringing awareness to this! It's definitely not talked about enough.

@thebosshouse 2 года назад

Someone very close to me recently escaped this. The ex even stole money from an account after the breakup, because passwords weren't changed fast enough. Please don't use the same password for multiple things and don't store your passwords on devices that anyone else can access. Password/account security is vital even if you can trust your partner completely.

@lolomissa 2 года назад

this is big. very very big. thank you for shedding light on this topic. 🙌

@thebrokenwallet 2 года назад

Thanks for watching!

@ErinRockafellow 2 года назад

Thank you so much for talking about this. I work at a domestic violence shelter and we see a lot of our clients have this happen and they did not even know it was a thing. Hopefully the more awareness there is the more we can help people see the signs.

@Soxandnicole 2 года назад

Good for you to approach this subject. Very informative.

@33agray 2 года назад

So glad you made this video! There are so many people going through this and are unaware. I hope this reaches someone who needs this information.

@BelleStreetBoyz 2 года назад

Thank you so much for speaking about this important topic! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

@quentinhoward89 2 года назад

I’m about a month late on this but I honestly believe that people with money are more so on the receiving end of financial abuse than anyone else. Male or female.

@thebrokenwallet 2 года назад

Interesting view. This is about using money to control and manipulate, so those "with money" are more in a position to do this.

@unreleasedcontent9316 10 месяцев назад

Not always sometimes one partner falls on hard times,losing there car for a year while the other goes up for a year or two. The partner who’s on top financially can forget all about your car and won’t help you get a new one but will happily spend thousands on there wants clothes,shoes,cosmetic items etc. Then they complain about you not having a car when they coulda bought you 3 of them if they wanted too. As a man I’ll never deal with a women who has more financially then me even if I had more then her when we first met. I think it’s a disaster waiting too happen my ex got money and wanted too have fun not maintain a family or help me be great. I know when I had more then her she was respectful and loving and understanding it’s like she definitely became financially abusive when my life went downhill she tried too humiliate me but wouldn’t uplift me and brag on that.

@captainjaneway80 2 года назад

Thanks for shining a light on this topic. I experienced this form of DV along with other forms. The thing that helped me see what was ultimately going on in my life is when a therapist showed me a picture of “The Wheel of Power and Control.” It was eye opening and life changing.

@cavejourney 2 года назад

Thank you for this - it's an important topic.

@thebrokenwallet 2 года назад

You are so welcome!

@jordanwilliams9300 2 года назад

You did a GREAT job on this video. Very very impressive.

@thebrokenwallet 2 года назад

Thank you very much!

@giuseppesmith2320 2 года назад

I feel that people should have common sense to not be dependent on another person! It’s never a good idea to not have your own means of income; if you are an able body person. It’s to many ways to have streams of income. Poor relationship choices/decisions are the cornerstone of people financial failures!

@thebrokenwallet 2 года назад

For some families it might make sense for one parent to stay home. In a healthy relationship it can work, just have to be careful and keep an open eye.

@aimee9878 Год назад

Thank you for letting me know this. There was a man he expected me to just give him money and he did nothing to earn it.

@Kurizma817 6 месяцев назад

Yes you’re correct

@saraalves5807 2 года назад

Thank you! These words encourage us women to be bold!👏👏👏

@thebrokenwallet 2 года назад

You’re welcome! And thank you for watching!

@gbb82 2 года назад

Like my father’s caretaker who he has given land to and he is building a house for her, paying her rent, paying for her groceries, her children’s school costs….And the list goes on……

@apronacres7292 2 года назад

well done!

@thebrokenwallet 2 года назад

Thank you!

@kevinmoore9524 2 года назад

This is great advice. Please give more.

@rosemarieyoung9489 Год назад

Thank you ❤️

@thebrokenwallet Год назад

You’re welcome 😊

@taiyakiqueen4295 2 года назад

This also happens between parent - child

@joannkennedy1422 2 года назад

Thank you 😊 for addressing this topic 👏🏻

@thebrokenwallet 2 года назад

My pleasure 😊

@babyyodapeakokkin6720 13 дней назад

47 years of my history lost due to his FINANCIAL ABUSE

@evaristolilungwe750 2 года назад

Good Video thumbs up, One question, What do you call it when the one partner does not see the point of working to earn their own money but instead wants to solely depend on you despite the fact that you complain to them that you need help financially, you cant do it all by your self without their help? is that still financial abuse?

@thebrokenwallet 2 года назад

Thank you, and yes this can be financial abuse too.

@supernaturalwealthprovisio8132 2 года назад

Awesome video as always!💯🎯👌

@thebrokenwallet 2 года назад

Thanks for the visit

@KallusGarnet Год назад

Wow i never knew this was a thing

@babyyodapeakokkin6720 13 дней назад

😢

@saidobarulho 2 года назад

There's not such a thing as financial abuse, because if someone take your ability to do something or leave a situation that's a crime

@Happy2haveHaters 2 года назад

You did a beautiful job. Thank you so much for covering this. I love your channel! I know it may take more research, but when you get a chance, it may also be beneficial to cover the other side of financial abuse. This would be the kind witnessed in the Tinder Swindler, Love Fraud, and in quite a few Nollywood films. The most disheartening thing is from the outside looking in people assume women just start pouring their money into these guys when in actuality the guys may use another woman's money to spoil her in the beginning unbeknownst to her, so that she is more willing to give back to him when the other women cuts him off, or he 'appears' to be down on his luck. Depending on the financial supply, the person can cover their story for years. Please forgive me for using guys in the role of the predator. There are many women who do this too. These people go from person to person and even state to state (country to country if they are good and have international connections) sometimes draining bank accounts and ruining credit and most of the time the person is left to repair their self-esteem, credit, savings, and life all at once. Though their are no real laws to regulate this kind of abuse or to help some rebuild, I can truly say I was blessed because even though one company did not work with me - two companies did. They refunded me money and billed my ex for what they refunded and I've been blessed to be back on track. I vowed not to let my experience be in vain. I pray what I shared was and will be helpful. Blessings to you.

@thebrokenwallet 2 года назад

That is an interesting subject matter, I’ll need to look deeper into it

@babyyodapeakokkin6720 13 дней назад

It's crazy when the goverment supports that financial abuse🤍