What Drives A Narcissist's Exaggerated Self Importance?

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Narcissists can have insufferable levels of self-importance, to the extent of truly convincing themselves of their superiority over you. What's that all about? Dr. Les Carter offers keen insights about a predominant characteristic that props up their false narrative. Once you see it, you can't unsee it.
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Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who has semi-retired to Waco, TX. For 40+ years he maintained a counseling practice in Dallas, conducting more than 65,000 therapy sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder. Since creating his RU-vid channel, his videos have received more than 115 million views.
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16 окт 2024

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Комментарии : 219

@BaraSchmidt 2 месяца назад

A narcissist is driven by self- concocted self-importance. Everything, EVERYTHING else is transactional, fodder, supply...Stay Healthy!

@francesbernard2445 2 месяца назад

After someone whom I had just met warned me that the man whom I used to babysit is now a jerk while he was being a research geneticist it was at that point I finally stopped worshiping all of my teachers and the very well educated whom I thought were always going to be way more intelligent than me. I haven't interacted with them since then. While wondering what she meant by that remark. However I am so grateful to her. That one comment of mine changed my whole life after in grade 3 I had flunked the screening test for being an idiot. Which of course later got disproven well enough to then be regarded as being normal and within the average range of intelligence for a college student. However until then when I was found reading at a grade 6 level in grade 3 before that I was often the target of derision when being called retarded, slow, with a sloppy walk (while recovering from an ankle sprain) etc. Was a good lesson for me. Made me less into a less assuming person too whenever hearing gossip about someone else. Less complacent when seeing a child or student being overdisciplined too.

@BaraSchmidt 2 месяца назад

@@francesbernard2445 I regard a strong sense of self and worth the best defense against this type of marginalization. The type you experienced. I am sorry you had that to deal with from a young age. We all have inherent worth - from birth - some share their gifts for the greater good, others indulge in mockery, belittling, gossip, and other unsavory behaviors discussed here in Dr Cs channel. That's the free will piece we also inherently possess. My 2 children, both on the autism spectrum, were often bullied, had things thrown at them at school and we're also called retarded. They just had a different affect. My oldest now runs a business in Canada, writes fan fiction and can quote chapter and verse on all things world history or Star Wars related. Einstein was also not a "good student" by the metrics at the time. What we need most is belief in ourselves and to know we are never defined by others opinions of us. We are the authors, each day a clean new page. Keep writing your story. You are the only one who can, and others need to hear it! Be Well, Be Blessed!

@MisssAnthrope49 2 месяца назад

Um yeah. Annoyed at myself I gave supply.

@BaraSchmidt 2 месяца назад

@@MisssAnthrope49 Keep the lesson learned, drop the annoyance at yourself. This is a way of life for these individuals. We don't share the same perspectives, thankfully, but it means we can be easily fooled by their smooth techniques. Forgive. Yourself. Now you are better equipped to manage these situations. Stay safe. Be Healthy!

@Leviajohnson 2 месяца назад

On point as always. Can’t count how many times I was called a burden as a child for staying under their roof, benefiting from their mortgage, eating their food and sitting on their furniture they bought. Imagine saying that to your child. It’s unthinkable. What a joke!

@StalkedHuman 2 месяца назад

No, you're entirely wrong. Imagine actually having people who feel as you do, openly openly openly promote keeping the innocent in prison doing forced labor WHILE PLAYING THE MORALLY SUPERIOR CARD. Now this the problem.

@Leviajohnson 2 месяца назад

@@StalkedHuman think this is a reply to the wrong comment mate

@StalkedHuman 2 месяца назад

@@Leviajohnson no, if you're in a home 🏠, you need to respect the discipline your parents instill. You can see 1000s of young adults in their 20s with confused views on this topic, also related is the narcasist's economic world view 🪟. Realtors gauging markets and crime overflowing.

@Leviajohnson 2 месяца назад

@@StalkedHuman you were talking about prison and labor? Idk what that was. Anyway, no, when you are the child of abusive parents, you do what you must to get by. But you cannot force respect. Respect is earned, not compelled. I’m not following on your point on realtors either. You seem overwhelmed, it’s ok.

@stepheniedomingo9089 2 месяца назад

@@LeviajohnsonI am pretty sure you are grateful for being born, but if you and I hear words like what you mentioned above as your comment we can't help to say it back to your parents "Well did I ask to be born by you? It was all your decision."

@christiebell6667 2 месяца назад

This describes my husband 100%!!!! Thank you, Dr. Carter, for this explanation. I admitted myself in the hospital last week. I had an absolute nervous/mental breakdown! It was the best 4 days! The doctors and psychiatrists were so caring and validated all of my emotions due to the gaslighting and exhausting 24 years of marriage. I've been called crazy almost every day. My therapist has told me for 2 years that I am perfectly sane. The psychiatrists told me I am certainly sane, and they could tell I had been mentally abused for many years. 😢 In the hospital, I felt calm, at peace, no headaches and no muscle aches, no brain fog/confusion. I was able to realign and reset. I came home feeling stronger and more assured in my thoughts, opinions, and emotions. I pray I will never "break" again like I did a week ago. It is a dark place I don't ever want to be in again.

@ryanjeanes5253 2 месяца назад

Jesus Christ you need to leave this dude

@SurvivingNarcissism 2 месяца назад

Thanks for posting this. I wish you the best.

@lauracoussens6207 2 месяца назад

Please carefully remove yourself from this relationship before it gets worse. Been there myself...30 years..."extreme" psychological abuse...according to the professionals I talked to....10 trips to ER and one time there an uncontrollable clustering panic attack where you get repeated adrenaline hits before the previous hit wears off...it's unreal!...but it was very real. It's been eight years and I am still battling parental alienation and estrangement from my two young adult children. Marriage and family is suppose to be a safe harbor, but narcissists ensure it's hell on earth. 2COR10:5

@amandaa3713 2 месяца назад

@Christie You need tp get away before hr brcones violent when he gets frustrated that he could no longer influence you to think that "it is you".

@MusicsInMySoul_7 2 месяца назад

@@christiebell6667 similar experience 4 years ago , my "episode" actually caused dangerously high fever & it took me another year to accept its an unhealthy relationship & I need to break free . I now have my safety plan in motion to leave. I wish you the best & hope you make a safety plan to get out if you haven't already made one.

@annemariepeterhoff7261 2 месяца назад

I asked my husband after fifty years if he ever loved me his answer was "I cared" that was the exact day I knew it was over, and more importantly he never did!

@AlwaysStampinVideos 2 месяца назад

What’s really hard, DrC, is when that’s all you have. When it’s what you’ve grown up with and married into, it’s so hard to leave. And for awhile it’s hard not to go back to. I finally stopped going back. But it sure is difficult to make new friends, especially ones who feel like family. Still, being lonely and away from all of that is still far better than the alternative. At least I am lonely and at peace instead of with people who constantly chose their hubris over their relationship with me.

@t_nels 2 месяца назад

🪷

@aaronkwolfe 2 месяца назад

💜

@SurvivingNarcissism 2 месяца назад

Kelly, I am so pulling for you. There are people who need the goodness you bring. Lean into it daily! !!

@weronikaasomsson2404 2 месяца назад

❤When it comes to narcissists- they are one of the big reasons He is stepping in right now!🔥💪♥ He is coming to avenge! 👉Innocent go first- all the children of the world will disappear first then the adult believers.🥰 Jesus is coming back to pick up all those who accepted free gift of His death for their sins. Yes, after 2 000 years He is coming back with promised salvation!🙌♥🥳 As He speaks through the prophets He is sickened by the world: lies, abuse amd manipulations. Before He comes we will see Alaska's back to back earthquakes 7.6 and 7.3, we will also see Germany and Russia exchanging missiles. Jesus spoke of it all through his prophets! 🙌❤😊 Jesus removes His believers and then Apocalypse starts, do not be left for that! 🥹❤You can still call out to Him when kids are gone! Make sure you make Jesus your Lord and Saviour🙌❤He loves you like crazy! He sees you, ♥ 😍 Trust in what He did on the cross for you! He died for our sins and defeated the death by rising 3 days later! 🙌❤🥹 👉We are about to see Russia attacking Germany, Alaska experiencing two devastating earthquakes (magnitude 7.6 and 7.3) and the fall of Freemason Temple in Philadelphia.🙌 👉Only God knows the future. Jesus has now revealed all those details to his prophets right now! 👉CHILDREN will disappear around the world, then His true believers! Jesus promised 2 000y ago that He will come back for everybody who accepted His payment ( His death) for all sins. He will literally pull us out of this world so that we don't have to stay for the Judgment ( the Apocalypse). You can still call out to Him to save you after kids are gone, He will rescue you too❤ Make sure to make Jesus your Lord and Saviour🙌❤He loves you like crazy! He sees you❤🥹 What saves us is trust in what He did on the cross: He died for our sins and then defeated the death by rising 3 days later! He made it very simple, He has done it all for us so don't add anything to it! 🙌❤🥹

@istateyourname4710 2 месяца назад

Keeping a good thought for you, Stampin.🫂

@mrvapor4791 Месяц назад

This is so incredibly accurate. You really are doing important work that helps people.

@aaronkwolfe 2 месяца назад

Overcompensation would be my guess, based on experience. The one I’m thinking about was dismissed, ignored, trivialized (as opposed to the golden child sister), and had to conjure an inflated ego, in order to justify her own existence.

@caroleminke6116 2 месяца назад

Narcs are usually golden children

@amandaa3713 2 месяца назад

@aaron I think it also depends on how the child processed it.

@krcandy1 2 месяца назад

@@caroleminke6116 mine was/is😐 we've gone no contact for awhile now but she is still breaking my heart. She's trashing her own family now. Bummer.

@patriciafry8634 2 месяца назад

Definitely the golden children among the four I am thinking of. Wanted the special attention to continue once they hit adulthood

@carolnahigian9518 2 месяца назад

they never let up; learn or change. just over the top ALPHA TYPEs!!!

@callalilly1988 2 месяца назад

"I'm the smart one here." "Helping me is a privilege." "Do you think I want to be here?" -"here" being the home I had provided for a narcissist whose only other option was the street. These are actual statements he said to me.

@Aseeyah-vt9kl 2 месяца назад

Sadly, I’ve heard one or two of these statements

@monogamousbonobo3923 2 месяца назад

Was in similar situation recently. My narcissist bro idno longer living with me now.

@dennisrobinson8008 2 месяца назад

You were blessed to be able to kiss their rear.

@Naturesong56 2 месяца назад

I love seeing your sweet puppy snoozing on the sofa. Thank you for your calm, helpful videos.

@Scott-f7d 2 месяца назад

Yep that's my brother, sad..

@roxymovie3938 2 месяца назад

Checklist of Narcs hubris: 1. Exaggeration of one's personal uniqueness 2. Insufferable superiority 3. Chronic condescension 4. Dismissive with extra measure of haughtiness 5. No need to admit wrong 6. No need to seek forgiveness 7. Insulting, then feeling justified 8. No remorse for belittling others Byproducts of Narcs hubris: 1. Incapable of receiving direction 2. Very low insight regarding personal skills 3. Very easy anger 4. Holding grudges readily 5. No compassion for others 6. No empathy for others What's going on with them? 1. They may have sociopathic tendencies (no rules apply for them) 2. Drawn toward authorian patterns 3. Expect the position of privilege 4. Easily abusive 5. Defenses are off the charts 6. Their selfishness will be their undoing Be aware: 》Hubris is 100 % phony confidence 》They are outside reality, delusional 》You will not be happy with such a person 》Remove yourself as soon as possible 》Prepare for predictable blame Dr Carter 👨‍🦳 and Gus 🐶 thank you for another lesson full of insight 🌞🌟🌝🌈

@SurvivingNarcissism 2 месяца назад

Thanks so much, Roxy!!

@roxymovie3938 2 месяца назад

@@SurvivingNarcissism You are very welcome, Dr Carter.

@MarianneCatherine 2 месяца назад

Thanks, Roxy!!! I'm going to screenshot this list for reference!!!😊

@roxymovie3938 2 месяца назад

@@MarianneCatherine You are quite welcome, Marianne. 🙏 Good idea with the screenshot. 👍

@MarianneCatherine 2 месяца назад

@roxymovie3938 I always enjoy your checklists, and they always come in handy!!! 🤗🙏😊

@chanel58style70 2 месяца назад

I have never posted anything personal. However, this was exactly like you knew about my situation. He is never wrong, never says I’m sorry, knows everything and of course I never am right. I’m screwed if I cross him, this now is when the Gaslighting begins. This has at times goes on for 2-3 days. Hubris - Hubris- Hubris!! This is just my personal opinion, but I feel that there should be places where those who are experiencing this type of life could be with others who are living with a Narcissist. Sometimes it’s not that easy to just walk out. I’m going to be angry at myself for even posting this, but it’s kind of like letting air out of a balloon! 😢

@SurvivingNarcissism 2 месяца назад

Glad you shared this. I wish there were organized groups of Narc Survivors. You are definitely not alone. I wish you well. Keep learning, and thanks for including me on your journey.

@stl2nola72 2 месяца назад

My ex narc was every single thing you described in this video. She said, “ you were feeling very hurt and I am not responsible for that. I did nothing to hurt you.”

@fred.k9875 2 месяца назад

Compensation for a nonexistent ego!

@caroleminke6116 2 месяца назад

Nonexistent self

@mikediamond353 2 месяца назад

It's possible they were born without a soul. It could happen.

@hjtres7261 2 месяца назад

My mother was entering a hospital parking lot that had an entrance gate and a guard sitting there. She couldn't figure out how to enter the lot and stopped to ask the guard. He replied with simple directions. Instead of saying "thank you" or kindly inquiring more if she was confused, my mother asked him in a very haughty manner "What is your job here?" He replied "security parking guard" or some variation. She left the lot. And proceeded to come home and tell me about how she'd treated him. She put him and his job down, implying he didn't know what he was doing. I took up for him. She felt absolutely no remorse for how she treated him.

@OfftoShambala 2 месяца назад

I told mine that I wish I could tape our conversation so he could hear how he talks to me. He was highly agitated by this proposition. This was during a period after I broke up, and he wanted to work things out. Absolutely no interested in self retrospection. The only thing he ever admitted to being wrong about was a text message that he’d sent… everything he’s ever said or done was supportive… and yes, there was obligatory support in between the false accusations and treating me like a child and needing constant assurance and questioning my integrity and demanding everything his way.

@chadandrews98 2 месяца назад

My latest non romantic NPD seemed to have a “triple strategy” 1. Always telling stories about his and families’ accomplishments 2. Minimal (no?) empathy or interest in anything I had to say 3. Clever put down jokes or innuendoes. With his wife not present he told me she was smarter than Bill Gates. When she was present he made fun of her for not learning Spanish very well.

@rwdchannel2901 2 месяца назад

The ultimate goal of the narcissist is to bring other people down. If you remember that one thing then you can see through all the nice things the narcissist does for people because in the end all those nice things weren't meant to be uplifting.

@StalkedHuman 2 месяца назад

Chandra, your perspective seems very faulted. By the example you give, scope and gauge seems to be off. This "off base" standard is seen and held by the media as a rule.

@IzabelaWaniek-i1x 2 месяца назад

Such behaviour is overwhelming, sociopathic and scary to the max!

@ricardajames5769 2 месяца назад

Dr. Carter, you just explained my narcissistic mother to a 'T'. I have been in therapy throughout my life, and since April 2022, I have gone no contact from her. I'm in therapy, on my spiritual healing journey, and finally loving myself and my life. Thank you very much for sharing this video and your wisdom 🙏 🌼. Blessings to you and everyone on this channel 🎉

@darinsmith2458 2 месяца назад

In a way I am glad I saw this video and in a way I am not.. What you said describes someone I know very well.. That person is gone and just returned.. What I am not looking forward to doing is the work to get out of my self appointed people-pleasing role.. This is where I need to make a conscious effort to start making interior and exterior boundaries..

@flyingeaglewoman8682 2 месяца назад

People in positions of power with these traits are very damaging… Indeed they would willingly take others down in flames rather than concede to the well being of the people they represent.

@susannakotoff7095 2 месяца назад

wolves in sheeps clothing

@flyingeaglewoman8682 2 месяца назад

@@susannakotoff7095 🎯

@thecustodian1023 2 месяца назад

If they can't have and claim it as their own, no one gets to have anything ever again.

@flyingeaglewoman8682 2 месяца назад

@@thecustodian1023 “You’ll own nothing and be happy” - KS/WEF

@thecustodian1023 2 месяца назад

@@flyingeaglewoman8682 "I will own many things and be ungovernable."

@AnnMarie-py5cy 2 месяца назад

They are so grandiose it is like they are a visiting arrogant celebrity . Probably it is an over compensation for no ego strength. Keep your distance because there has to be sociopathy involved to act that grand.

@sandralevy5965 2 месяца назад

I find they lie a lot. Poor self confidence is a trait that really stands out with the one I'm dealing with. This is a relative. It gets old after a while.

@kelly450 2 месяца назад

ALOT!! It seems like every word that comes out of their mouth!!!!

@StalkedHuman 2 месяца назад

In REALITY, we have mobbing going on where the ambiguous gossip is pathologically dishonest and the* hyperbolically scrutinized is held to impossible standards

@thecustodian1023 2 месяца назад

Yep. And they will lie about things that there is nothing to gain from having lied about.

@kelly450 2 месяца назад

@@sandralevy5965 And when you RIGHTFULLY get angry because of their "gaslighting" ABUSIVENESS *(constant invalidation)* they will point the finger at you & call you "crazy" for rightfully defending yourself!!!! When it's NOT you AT ALL!!! It's THEM!!!!

@StalkedHuman 2 месяца назад

@@kelly450 it's undead NPC DNA 🧬 in your karmic intersection.

@granth9352 2 месяца назад

Thanks Les, That Explains a Lot, now I can move on from certain Individuals that I thought were Friends of mine.

@robinsmith4499 2 месяца назад

My husband and his family (except the mother) talk about themselves, their accomplishments, and gossip about others. I was not introduced to his family until after we were married. I meant my husband in college. Hindsight: 😢😮 Anytime spent with them is exhausting and I am just silent. I have been asked why I stay with my husband. One reason, he loves to help other individuals and is gifted with intelligence. He has his mother’s heart / but the personality of his self centered father. I choose to look deeper and I know longer need a relationship that is reciprocated. I have been told (48years) I don’t respect him, I just remain silent. I created my own world (book club) with amazing friends. I do have a counselor and your courses as well as books. Crazy life but it works, he needs me more than I need him. 😂😂

@susanstatesheale 2 месяца назад

My healing journey has been deeply assisted by Dr C’s calm and insightful spot-on descriptions of my ex-narc’s behaviors. He displayed ALL of these! The daily reminders that the problem was HIM, not ME, has led me to a place where I can let him go and be grateful every moment that I no longer live in his delusion with him.

@francesbernard2445 2 месяца назад

Thanks for caring Dr. C.

@SurvivingNarcissism 2 месяца назад

You're welcome. Good to hear from you, Frances.

@farmandprairie 2 месяца назад

I could add this to any f Dr Les's work videos. This kind and experienced gentleman and his advice have made a huge difference in my life - I knew the name of the condition, but how to deal with it? Now rather than pain and confusion, I walk with so much more understanding and ability to deal with these types of difficult people. I am very thankful to move forward in my pursuit of happiness, with Dr Les's help. We should all be very grateful for his efforts.

@SurvivingNarcissism 2 месяца назад

Thanks so much. This means a lot to me.

@Yatukih_001 2 месяца назад

I wrote a short story about Neil Gaiman and it discussed narcissism, and in the story, it is hypothesised that some narcissists create alien alter egos which they succumb to later in life. Thanks for your video!! Best wishes from Iceland!!!!

@redbullwiseman4805 2 месяца назад

Self importance That’s a big one The most confusing is when church gowers learn nothing and still live life with pride !

@StalkedHuman 2 месяца назад

The lack of context in your statement is so largely polarized. You are polarized pathological superficial people. Your opposition is any outside of the mob mind

@rwdchannel2901 2 месяца назад

I've had to deal with a lot of hubris from my parents and employers. I joined the US Army when I was 18 years-old as an E-1 Private. All the E-4 Specialist and above ranks treated me as they would treat a slave. My platoon Sergeant made me scrub his floor with a toothbrush when we first met and I didn't do anything wrong to deserve that punishment. He was just enjoying the feeling of superiority and being arrogant(Hubris). My father owned a construction business and was using me for cheap labor because he didn't want to obey the law. He didn't want to use an employment agency to get workers because the agency required him to carry Workman's Compensation, healthcare insurance, pay taxes, pay into social security, and pay into medicare. He could skip all of that by using me for cheap labor. Then he acted like he was doing me a favor. Basically, my parents and employers showed such hubris that they wanted me to get on my knees and worship them. Looking back now that I'm 43 years-old, I just see a lot of people in their 20's and early 30's, that had power over me when I was 18 years-old and were lacking in self confidence.

@lyricmelody8162 2 месяца назад

Dr. Les you are a gentle balm for the soul, a gentle reminder of the power of love. You are like the Colorado River

@SurvivingNarcissism 2 месяца назад

No one has ever compared me to the Colorado River before. Thank you!

@jacquelinefroehle5868 2 месяца назад

It seems like the ongoing pattern is exactly what keeps them further and further STUCK in being narcissistic. Yet they see it as good, when actually it's harming others and at the same time harming them selves too. They break the Golden Rule, that says do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

@christymartin6281 2 месяца назад

My 88 y/o dad contacted me last night asking to call him to talk about a serious problem my brother has. My first reaction was triangulation- I'm not going to get drawn into something. This morning he sent a longer message, about my brother being in a downward spiral financially, explaining the details of a loan/contract and how it affected my parents. What does this have to do with me??? How can I change anything? He ended with what felt like a threat: YOU WILL LOSE IF YOU CONTINUE YOUR HATEFUL ATTITUDE TOWARD ME. (No contact). He's attempting to hoover me back in, and I've been feeling queasy, on the verge of stress/sleepiness all day. And he wonders why his kids won't talk to him.

@jimlong2469 2 месяца назад

The amount of professional service you provide for free with these vids is astounding. Much thanks.

@Cassie-pt7mt 2 месяца назад

My older sister was the Golden Child. I was the Scapegoat. We were raised in an abusive, neglectful, alcoholic family. A mutual friend of ours once said, "You and your sister are so different. She expects everything and that's what she gets. And you expect nothing and that's what you get."

@ThisIsMe155 2 месяца назад

EXACTLY the same in my family. Add Anxiety, Depression and Narcissism to the above. I was the Scapegoat too. 💔🦋❤️❤️❤️❤️💖❣️🙏🙏

@GwenKeller 2 месяца назад

My older sister was the scapegoat and expected everything. The more she demanded, the less she got.

@janebraun4482 2 месяца назад

I'm the village scapegoat in my family. Parents gone, the one dear sister passed on as how I held onto my sanity. No so hard for my brother hubris, that Dr. C points out. I dared to have an opinion, or somehow expose him, he gets enraged, and while he did not say 'my house' part, he just pointed to the door!! Don't go back he says, well it is clear I am not welcome back. I think projection is going on here.

@SandraDevant 2 месяца назад

Amen

@kiv_daniels 2 месяца назад

@@GwenKellerAs a scapegoat she expected everything? Like what tho, I’m really curious. Mostly scapegoats don’t expect everything, they expect what is normal to be expected like love, loyalty, compassion and support from family but don’t get it. The golden ones expect everything like they want an inflated ego, want to be served and sometimes feared because they think they’re above everyone, they want to control others.

@notagain779 2 месяца назад

Dr. Carter, for a while now, I've been wondering about this trend of the "Go Fund Me" campaigns. I guess I understand if it's a child who needs a new heart or something like that - medical bills that the people can't afford, for instance. But......wait for it! I know a couple with young children who started a "Go Fund Me" so their children could have private school and horses. If this isn't hubris, what is?? When I raised an eyebrow at the parents, their answer was, "It's only normal for parents to want the best for their children."

@SurvivingNarcissism 2 месяца назад

You're onto it.

@istateyourname4710 2 месяца назад

They want the best for their children...@ someone else's expense. Bet I can ascertain just what kind of people their children will become.😞

@notagain779 2 месяца назад

@@istateyourname4710 Good point! Their children are already showing signs that they feel superior to other people. They are 9 and 13 years old. Who would contribute to such a "Go Fund Me" except maybe a doting (and maybe foolish) grandparent?

@peggybrinkerhoff3294 2 месяца назад

The narcissist I know never uses courtesy, especially thank you.

@amandaliverpool3374 2 месяца назад

At at guess. Insecurity. As always, I'm looking forward to this!

@venus22118 2 месяца назад

Hi Dr C, I just asked my boss with a strong narc streak to be more respectful when talking to me. I work for The Australian Greens, who should be good at being egalitarian. I did it very kindly and I'm glad I did (I think she is on the narc spectrum) - it's up to her now 👍🌟

@amandaa3713 2 месяца назад

@venus Don't expect her to change.

@venus22118 2 месяца назад

@amandaa3713 yeah, but I know I said something, which is a good start.

@gladiammgtow4092 2 месяца назад

The left is full of Narcs.

@andreacook6000 2 месяца назад

You have completely summed up my ex partner in this video. It’s shocking when you are just being normal and asking for a normal thing like that young man did and you get met with that level of aggression. That happened all the time with my ex partner as well as the other things you mention here. It’s so great to have it laid out in front of me as you have just done. Every day I get stronger and can integrate what has happened and think no no no when it comes to this person. His behaviour is repulsive.

@laurielaurie8280 2 месяца назад

You are spot on as always Dr. C. You know your stuff 😊

@MeCynthiaAnn 2 месяца назад

Thanks always Gus and Dr. C Looking forward to this video coming up. From Cynthia in JANESVILLE, WI

@thabi_d 17 дней назад

But my relative never had this condescending attitude with anyone else but me. Actually she acted quite respectfully towards others...always baffled me.

@megn1670 2 месяца назад

Insecurity

@williamdillard8330 2 месяца назад

I have experienced this with my cousin, who has demonstrated full-blown NPD, for years. I didn't know what it was until I ran across people like the Doctor here on RU-vid about three and a half years ago which just the time he stopped speaking to me because he crossed the line one time too many and I corrected him. This is an example of his personality that I've dealt with for years. He carries a gun that he accidentally misfired three times. I have another friend who is almost an expert with firearms. He told me that I should advise my cousin to get some instruction. I replied, " Me tell him that he needs training! ". My friend didn't understand that my cousin is not a person who one can advise about such a matter. Let me tell you his reaction towards me over a lesser matter. I'm a diabetic and I never cut my own toe nails. I see a podiatrist regularly. My cousin is also a diabetic who cut his own nails and got an infection. I told him that diabetics should have professionals do that for them. He paused and got this look that spelled disdain that I told him a better way of handling his feet. I mean, it was chilling. Needless to say, I don't advise him of the weather report if I know what is coming. All I can say about him is good grief! He started acting like this in his twenties, and I thought it was a phase. Something he would eventually grow out of in time. I know for a fact that he has gotten worse, and he is months from being seventy. He acts nuts sometimes. 😮

@kirac.1056 2 месяца назад

Dr. Les Carter, thank you for your superb presentation in this video. This subject could not be more timely, nor more relevant. I value you - and your intransigent adherence to showing these types for what they really are - more than my words can fully express.

@SurvivingNarcissism 2 месяца назад

Glad it was helpful!

@t_nels 2 месяца назад

A cover-up, but a single word can end the whole sentence because I can think of other situations or scenarios that don't fit. You must believe their truth for them to believe in it.

@caroleminke6116 2 месяца назад

A narcissist is a lie & the first person to be deceived is mother

@sammcnaughton5961 2 месяца назад

Thank you once again Les.

@SurvivingNarcissism 2 месяца назад

You are quite welcome.

@ZivkaFlora 2 месяца назад

Thank you Dr L. Carter. For making me realise that overconfidence is in fact a fony similar to fraud not genuine confidence. .. Here I learn a lot. However there is a healthy type of importance shuch as a parent is more important compared to a child.

@linbat6148 2 месяца назад

Thank you, Dr. C. As always, you are tremendously helpful at defining my situation, both with past and current narcissists. It’s very hard to try to maintain a relationship of love and boundaries with adult children who were deeply injured by an extremely narcissistic and violent father - my former husband. I wonder if you could do a video on this specific topic with some helpful guidelines. Thank you for the peace and clarity you’ve already given. Your help is an incredible gift! I hope and pray to someday be at peace as much as Gus! ❤

@kelly450 2 месяца назад

They have no sense of humor at all & they never laugh about ANYTHING They are "ULTRA- SENSITIVE" about EVERYTHING!!

@StalkedHuman 2 месяца назад

You're describing "nobody". This loose standard only applies in unfair measure

@kelly450 2 месяца назад

@@StalkedHuman The NARCISSIST!!

@StalkedHuman 2 месяца назад

@@kelly450 right, correct, you are a projecting unfair irrational "emotionally intelligent" person. You.

@caroleminke6116 2 месяца назад

Mother

@moonlanding-69 2 месяца назад

Avoid them at ALL cost. I am studying Matthew 5:43-44 malicious anger 24/7. I have to rise above humanity and pray for strength to not retribute the same.

@nicholecornes1915 2 месяца назад

I still have to have meds for anxiety after separation from my husband sucks because during the divorce hes going to use it against me.

@nicholecornes1915 2 месяца назад

Its crazy how we get locked down and then suddenly they CHANGE

@jacquelinefroehle5868 2 месяца назад

Thank you Dr. Carter and Gus !! Another great helpful video. I want to share a Joke about Narcissist: How does a Narcissist Count to ten? Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me.....😅 Narcissist phony confidence is delusional. They will brag about something to behave "Better than"....and pretty much, later on they end up in a place that is extremely difficult....and harming those around them at the same time. And they will care care who their delusional decisions harm.

@MisssAnthrope49 2 месяца назад

I expressed concerns about workload & responsibilities. Narc Boss response: 🌴🥥🌴🥥 smh

@MisssAnthrope49 2 месяца назад

Trying to figure out how to respond. Talking to myself to see what to say. "I know this is difficult for you..." "I don't want the pressure to cause burnout." "Look, biatch, this is the 3rd time that position has left in less than 2 years..." "I know salary savings is important to you." None work.

@stevenmorgan6164 2 месяца назад

Thank you Dr Carter I really appreciate your videos

@SurvivingNarcissism 2 месяца назад

You are very welcome

@MusicsInMySoul_7 2 месяца назад

Thank you

@nancytwigg4631 2 месяца назад

Hubris.....Hubris...Hubris Dr. C., thank you for helping me understand what I am dealing with. Hubris, I never knew what I experienced had this name. It's ugly. Hubris is as false and empty as the person displaying it.

@SurvivingNarcissism 2 месяца назад

Glad it resonated!

@craigmerkey8518 2 месяца назад

Thank you so much! It is so interesting (for the wrong reasons) many many times I feel like you were looking over my shoulder as a child! Even in elementary school I realized many of my family members were beyond ridiculous and decided to limit their access and influence as much as possible!

@davem8319 2 месяца назад

I am just now realizing how deep the problems with my narcissistic wife sre. I have suspected it for a long time but still fall into her traps. Truthfully, I am thinking about leaving the marriage as the only way to regain what I have lost over the years trying to improve our relationship. My struggle now is how to leave without going to war with her. And, my leaving will cause financial problems for her.

@ryanjeanes5253 2 месяца назад

You're a light in the world, Dr. C.

@SurvivingNarcissism 2 месяца назад

Thank you.

@sunshinexoxo3052 2 месяца назад

Extremely insightful thank you

@melissahale6645 2 месяца назад

I’ve seen these first hand but I’m still waiting on the results from this lifestyle.

@terencehennegan1439 2 месяца назад

Great video Dr Carter.

@Momofone1982 2 месяца назад

The fear of being on the same level as everyone else- ordinary

@John-sk8cm 2 месяца назад

That story about the young man inviting the father to watch television was an excellent example of 'hubris'. I'll bet you Gus gave you the idea to cite that anecdote to illustrate your point. Gus is a brilliant collaborator 😊

@L.Co-s1d 2 месяца назад

Thanks from Switzerland

@chrishinson7081 2 месяца назад

I want out of my marriage so bad my husband is that person your talking about. I grow to dislike him so much it almost feel like hate! I want him gone like today. He do pay the mortgage and car payment. I need help getting out of this marriage 😪😪

@Cod12Osc 2 месяца назад

Some of these people have high title and income positions....

@chipang_shorthand 2 месяца назад

Maybe theocracy is innate? My brother and his wife genuinely believe their marital status along with their religious practices gives them totalitarianship.

@susannakotoff7095 2 месяца назад

our narc gaslighting sil and bil

@SusanMorales 2 месяца назад

How is it possible that narcissists although they are phony have a lot of friends?

@RavenStealstheNight 2 месяца назад

In reality, they don't have friends in the way that normal, healthy people do. They have fellow narcissists that operate transactionally. And others who follow them, are often trauma bonded individuals that are operating from a place of fear.

@amandaa3713 2 месяца назад

@Susan, fake friends

@Sunitamark-f5t 2 месяца назад

Doc please answer this question if possible Why narcissism is not spoken or recognized by church councilors , there are families suffering with narcissistic individuals in the household but when couples or families go for counseling why they don’t recognize narcissistic individuals that’s causing problems in the family . Like yes Jesus Christ wants us to forgive our enemies, Doc how does this narcissism can be dealt with in Christian counseling I am very confused about this. Please answer my question.

@joefox9765 2 месяца назад

Dr. C you are going horse teaching so much. Take care please 😮 Godspeed

@SurvivingNarcissism 2 месяца назад

Actually I'm being treated for silent acid reflux. It is a bear.

@cindyrobinson3882 2 месяца назад

Thats my ex-MIL!!! She goes to church religiously, but has never read the bible.....its all for show. I wonder if these type of people will be in heaven. Only God knows. 🙏 She (my ex-MIL) volunteers at a food bank & belittles everyone who is there for food. She's the treasurer at her church & gossips about what everyone tithes. She is an evil person. She ruined my 20 yr marriage, ruined my relationship with my only (daughter) child, my grandchildren (I haven't seen in 6 yrs). The only comfort I get is knowing, we "reap what we sow" and God sees ALL things. 😊 🙏

@sandrathomas2893 2 месяца назад

A response to extreme shame they're hiding. If they didn't have to be their own God then they'd know Jesus covered and paid for that shame already with his blood! It's spiritual ⚔️

@timewa851 2 месяца назад

Yeah but then they think they are Jesus' 'Enforcement Officer'. > eyeroll < like you said, Jesus already paid for it. Do you think he paid for the (ongoing)sins of the narcs too?? I wonder.....

@tomkitchen9457 2 месяца назад

Thank you.

@SurvivingNarcissism 2 месяца назад

You're quite welcome.

@Gardenwitch1954 2 месяца назад

💜🐕Thank you Dr. C

@SurvivingNarcissism 2 месяца назад

You are so welcome

@Davkmusic 2 месяца назад

Me personally I feel like everyone can change if they really want too . Maybe it’s much harder for those type of people. They just need someone to really believe in them . I don’t know I just don’t like the thought of someone that’s just stuck in a destructive way That’s gonna be there undoing. Idk just my thought tho

@Hatbox948 2 месяца назад

This is something I've wondered about. Are they born feeling that way, and/or is it a learned behavoir?

@yukio_saito 2 месяца назад

I bet they learned it.

@caroleminke6116 2 месяца назад

Temperament is innate but environment shapes us so this is the nature vs nurture debate. I believe that Dr C has spoken to this issue & has a formula for it, but the short answer is a combination of both

@sandrathomas2893 2 месяца назад

I've never known a narcissist who didn't have a narcissistic parent that transferred their shame into that child and/ or over indulged the child so they become shameless.

@Hatbox948 2 месяца назад

@@sandrathomas2893 I remember my nex's mother saying to me I'd think his dad was nice. She then said she had to decide between poverty or peace when she divorced him. I puzzled over that, and did indeed find his dad to be nice. But, my nex was nice at first too. I now know what she was talking about. I think my nex's dad was very likely a narcissist too.

@sandrathomas2893 2 месяца назад

@@Hatbox948 they're nice but never kind.

@sharisimonehampton5434 2 месяца назад

Thanks!😉👍❤️

@BarbDixon3545 2 месяца назад

Overweening pride

@jimmyreel3293 2 месяца назад

How can I book a session with you doctor?

@SurvivingNarcissism 2 месяца назад

No...I'm no longer managing a practice, which is why I refer to BetterHelp. Thanks for asking, though.

@possumyx 2 месяца назад

My BiL to a "T".

@donnastitz1497 2 месяца назад

Hello Gus 💙💙💙 :)

@SurvivingNarcissism 2 месяца назад

Woof!

@douaa1934 2 месяца назад

👍🏻

@davidparker5439 2 месяца назад

👍

@KHodges_ 2 месяца назад

🎉🎉🎉

@StalkedHuman 2 месяца назад

That story with that home owner wnd college kid might have more context. The kid might have been very condescending and illicit in its behavior and i can really only imagine that is the case, being that in that sense, the home owners response is quite warranted. There is no premise of corruption in the story and this seems important. To have a negative implication without* the premise of corruption seems to be superficial convience.