Luis, I hope you married "your lady". Being lifetime-committed and faithful to your child's Mama is the best way to be a Father. This builds stability and confidence in your child. God bless you as you man-up in this all-important role as a Father.
With that attitude you are starting out right! A child can be hard. Try to focus on what you get from having a child rather than what they take from you. Enjoy!
Gabor Maté has some really important insights on the early years development. Even when still in the womb. The hardest job you will ever have, and the most you will ever get paid.
I'm gonna to jump in here. I'm 73 and have been through this with three generation. My nephew's in the 60s, my son in the late 70 s and my grandson in 2008. I firmly agree with all that been put forward here. Men your place cannot be stress enough. The one thing that I will include here is this. From the start, play on the floor with them. That's their world. Get down on the floor and,,,grow up with them. My grandson, we lost his father when he was 18 months old. He wasn't old enough to understand everything that happened, but he did understand his father was gone. He turned to me. I became his father/grandfather that day, along with his sister's. We all grew up together. Today the ones who are not adults yet are late teens. My nephew's, my son, and my grandson, never fail to hug when we meet, or when we part.Samples of what I taught them. Never eat in Grampa car( they cost to much to be a dinning room) when we go out to eat we always dine in. We sit at the same table , we talk, we joke, we laugh, we bond. I taught them to always thank the cook. If someone feeds you or does you a good turn, you owe them a thank you. I feel very strongly that these are the most important words you can say. More than I love you. Fill your relationships with Thank you and watch the magic. And lastly fellows, the ones just starting out being a Dad. Remember you are the man your son wants to become, and as for your daughters, you are just as important, you see you are the man your daughter wants to find someday. There isn't anything much more to it. I could go on , but I've highjacked this video long enough.
"Remember you are the man your son wants to become, and as for your daughters, you are just as important, you see you are the man your daughter wants to find someday", Thank you sir, that will stick with me for a long time. I don't have a good relationship with my father and the wisdom in that sentence is huge. I will have to remember that and be better when I (hopefully) some day have kids for them.
I would only reword that as be the man you want your daughter to marry someday cause they look at a dad as an example same for sons be the man ya want ur son to grow up and become cause we all hopefully want our sons to be somebody worth being and our daughters to marry someone worth having but I'm sure that's exactly wut'cha was saying wise words
I grew up without a father. I’m 55 now. I made huge mistakes in my life as a young man. I believe had I had a good father, my life would have been better. But my mother was always there! I have a 7 year old son. Frequently out of no where he says: “I love you soooo much!”Those words! They justify my existence!
My father put me down every day of my life, told me I was a fool, stupid, worthless. Now I’m the father of five kids, I know I’m a great dad as my kids love me and all I had to do to earn their love was to be the exact opposite of what my dad was.
No doubt some negative consequences of that will be generational with your kids. It’ll be crucial for your kids to understand how to identify them and their origin.
@@Bl00dMalice I’ve been honest with my kids about my upbringing. I’ve told them how my father was (because his father treated him like that) and whenever I see them putting one another down, I step in and nip it in the bud. I’m intelligent, hardworking and there’s nothing I can’t turn my hand to but I’ve always been filled with self doubt and that voice in my head saying “you can’t do it”. Every day is a battle to overcome the pure negativity of my childhood which I know I’ll never truly overcome. But I’ll be damned if I ever allow myself to treat my kids like that and put them through the hell of feeling like a piece of sh1t every single day of my life.
Amen brother, I went through this myself in life. But my kids have always had me through the years... it's truly a great feeling to be close with them.
Sadly I never had any of the five things you talked about. All I got was extreme physical beatings and mental abuse. He never hugged me and told me he love me, even now that I am 57 and a father, husband and a grandfather. But the love of God saved me from the hurt, scars and trauma of an abusive father.
My story growing up was very similar. I'm Asian and my father would constantly use physical and emotional abuse tactics to "communicate" with me. He would whip me with his belt or clothing hanger and throw things at me with whatever he can grab. Never once in my entire growing up phase in the family had he taught me anything useful or meaningful for my future. And worst of all, every time when he gets violent with me, my mother never did anything to stop him. There is no longer any love for them in my heart anymore, only a sense of obligation towards them as they are still my parents. That last bit of love for them died the day I left home to study overseas. I'm 28 now and even though I don't have a girlfriend let alone a family, rest assured, my kids will never know or experience the pain I had to endure growing up.
I grew up fine without a father but I think it would've been nice to have a male parent who brings you up unconditionally. I look forward to being a great father to a child.
Someone who tells you, hey I believe in you and I think you can do it. But instead we get the shit talking behind our back. How come, when someone tells me something I keep it to myself no matter how crazy bud my father immediately tells everyone.
I don’t think I ever heard my dad tell me he loved me until my last visit before he passed. I always tell my son I love him and try to be the example for him.
Responses keep bringing me back here. I am humbled by the response. I grew up in a different time. It was a time when men were not allowed to express their feelings( except( anger) In my life my father never told me he loved me. Over the years I saw that he did love me, from things he did for me. Maybe you need to take another look. There is more in this world than words. Look back I know you said he passed I m sorry for the loss, so has my father. But unless he was the lowest of low, which you do not indicate, he left signs, You should look for them. As for your relationship with your son. You are breaking the chain. That's what's omportant
Same My dad has never said he loves me I say it to him at the end of every meeting or phone call But he just never says it back It hurts me like hell everytime he doesn't say it.
@Snakes of Tucson wow even this made me cry. I just really needed this thanks. I really hope your son appreciates you and hope you guys have a happy relationship.
@Snakes of Tucson i just hope you guys are all good cause if youre taking the time to watch this video you must really care. I wish to have a dad like you but i have to live with what i got and i hope i dont turn out like him
I didn’t have this with my dad, but my 15yr old boy has it with me. I teach him everything I had to learn the hard way and everything I’m still learning, same with his 2 older sisters. All 3 live with me I broke the cycle on mine and there mothers side, biggest blessing of my life..
That’s my story, too. My Dad was a ghost when he was alive. He died when I was ten. It took me awhile to process that and forgive him in my heart and move on.
@@tiercegreen Hey I absolutely LOVE your ministry you are a blessing it's a shame that The RU-vid algorithm doesn't know quality when it crosses by a high quality content channel. Please keep creating 🙏🏽
One thing I’ve learned to do more of is sharing your insecurities and failures. Don’t buy into the garbage that you have to appear all-powerful and invincible as a dad. Tell them if you thought you didn’t have many friends when you were a teenager. Tell them if you ever had trouble getting a girl. Tell them you failed a test. This helps breed resiliency. It helps them not fear failure bc they know it’s a well trodden path everyone takes sometimes. It helps them open up to you when they fail.
I had the greatest Dad imaginable. He taught me MANY things - he even began teaching me to read before I started school. Even more important than tangible skills, he taught me SO much by his example - how to treat people, how to keep my word, how to deal with other men, and MUCH more. He was the greatest gift I could ever have been given, and I owe literally everything good in my life to him; all my accomplishments, my ability to deal with adversity ... everything. The only thing he didn't do -- and I'm still a little angry at him for this -- he didn't live forever like I thought he would.
Truly lucky. My father although meant well but he never got the point of being a father, beyond the monetary responsibilities. You don't just have to fulfill your children's financial obligations, there is so much more potential to be realised if one can engage them everyday. Its sad. I guess i am lucky in the sense that i won't be repeating my father's mistakes and doing what i missed as a child to my own children.
That really got me thinking man. It’s so tuff for me to see my Dad being so elderly. He was and is the best Dad ever to me. Seeing him close to infirmity crushes me. I want him to be young, strong and full of life. I’m now 55 and have sons and daughters. I feel like I’ve done a great job with them but also feel like I could never have done enough. The human condition is so real. Blessings to you good soul.
My Dad died when I was very young, almost 10 years old. I never had a father or father figure growing up. Older brothers were wayyyyyy older than me, but I did have a father, Father in heaven, little did I know. He saved us because He loved us first, He chose us, we didn't choose Him. Thank you Father for loving me. In Jesus name with the help of your Holy Spirit amen!!!
I’m 20 my father is a bill payer and nothing more. I have always seen a difference between me and my friends who were all close with their fathers or had brothers around. Truth is the void in my confidence is due to my fathers lack of interest in my life. I have 2 sisters and was raised by my mother, aunts, grandma, and my elderly grandfather. My father is not a bad guy but he is not the best dad when it comes to father and son connection. We got into a heated exchange one day and I saw a side of him that showed me he was just like me inside but it was buried under 30+ years of Pain. I wish I learned how to be a man at a younger age but I I will teach myself so my son will not suffer this same fate. Update: I’m 22 now and am graduating college. Me and my father are a lot closer now. I am in the gym, I have a job. Friends, girls find me more attractive, I’ve stopped masturbating, stopped meaningless sex, I read and I am well respected by other men young and old. Thanks for the likes and comments .
I cant say I truly understand ur pain. I never had a father yet I cant imagine the pain of him being there yet being unable to connect. Search Redpill community here on RU-vid and become a man. It did wonders for me😎👊
How much you had gone through along with your dad, I'm also going on with it. I'm always scolded for every little things, being the only son isn't that easy. The connection with my dad and me had gotten bad to worse. I wish he will understand how much hurt i am when im always treated so differently among all my family. How i wish i had an elder brother who will understand me and will lift me up I'm all alone.
I've been thought the same.I'm here and I'm always willing to learn to be a better father,hell i want to be the best dad for my son,that he deserves.I want to make sure whatever what I'm lack of he has them.I love my son and my wife,more than anyone,anything
My dad is the exact same way. Provided a roof over my head as a kid which I'm grateful for but never showed any interest in his kids. I couldn't tell you any memory of us spending time together. So we don't have a relationship. Now he suffers from dementia and I have to take care of him along with my mom
Grew up without dad, a violent stepdad terrorized my life, and still haunts me in my traumas. But good God, I'm a proud dad of three highly gifted kids, and I do exactly what is told here and far beyond, securing their safety beyond space and time. I hope to keep on radiating the love and light I hold inside to my kids. Truly turn all my childhood traumas into a grain of sand, and alter it to build a castle of love and inspiration for all of the next generations.
Many young men have no idea what a good dad looks like. I had one, it’s a shame when we are young we don’t appreciate it at the time. When you have children of your own you will understand. Men don’t become a real man until your dad passes away or when you’re in your 40’s. I had a Great dad but didn’t take advantage of his lessons until I was in my 30’s. I’m 57 know and remember many things he taught me that I still take advantage of today with my kids. He died when I was 48 and I still hear him in my head.
1. Time together. 2. Life skills. 3. Direction with solid answers with "why" questions for dad. 4. Establish deep life convictions. Life modeling of Godly behavior. Be the example for your son. 5. Son needs his dad's heart. Affirmations.
Not every Dad knows more than his son(s) and that is why many sons must go there own way. It is then up to us sons to forgive our fathers for they are not at fault. They did the best they could. They just didn’t know how. So teaching goes both ways. Sons teach dads too. Sometimes the son is there because the dad would learn no other way, but than to have the lesson come from his own son. ❤
The greatest thing I can say about my dad is that he was a great provider with a great work ethic. Never was late on any bills, fridge may have been empty most days but at least we had a roof over our heads. Thank you whoever invented the sandwich and kool aid 😂
Same here and I’m sorry for you that that’s the case. But if you have a child make sure they don’t feel the same way you did. Dads are so important. Keep your head up!
Me and my father haven’t been close since I was like 8. I now have an almost 8 year old. I try my best to spend as much time as I can with him even if it’s just watching tv. Most the time spent with my son is just me and him. I tell him I love him literally every few minutes to where he gets annoyed of it almost 😭 to any good dads out there keep up the great work. And to any dads that feel under appreciated just know your child loves you so so much and they need you in their lives. Shout out good dads. Wouldn’t trade fatherhood for anything
I had a Dad who I knew was always going to be there and always knew that I was loved. That is probably the greatest earthly gift that God has given me and it makes me sad for those that didn't have that.
In the 15 years I grew up with my dad till he died, he laid a foundation but I never got to the existential details. Now a father myself, I have to figure it out on my own to teach my son and ensure I have the longevity to do so till he no longer needs me
I have been building our retirement cabin with our two sons. There is nothing more important than spending time with each other, building a home, sitting by the campfire every night talking, joking, laughing and discussing the events of the day. These are the memories we leave behind. The struggles, the sacrifices and the joys of living a life well lived. We have rented our entire lives sacrificing home ownership so that they could grow up in decent neighborhoods and go to decent schools. Now they are helping us build something of lasting value that will also save them later in their lives. The greatest adventure of our lives.
I agree Tierce - as Dads we dont always know what we should do, but - the points you have given is pretty the key points I have followed as well - thanks - Fathers & Sons need to hear this !!!
My dad was never around. My mom wasn't all that much better. I was lucky to find my wife and God blessed us with a son. He is my life. He just said sorry for the first time the other day. I instantly cried. Hang in there boys. Im rooting for all of you. God bless
I lost my mom to brain cancer and it wasn’t til after she passed when I realized my father’s lack of care/interest in my life. It’s been hard enough losing a parent but it felt like I lost both of parents at the same time.
try not to judge, when you are a single father with a family to care for, it can be really tough to keep things together, let alone dedicate quality time to children. Hope you will never find yourself in such a situation though.
I have been so blessed with my two children. My son is a year older than my daughter. My daughter is smart in so many ways, but my son is wise and patient for his age. Neither have ever been in any trouble of any consequence and I've raised them by myself since they came to live with me completely unexpectedly. I must have done something right and am convinced had they stayed with their mother they would be very different people.I thank God every day for all my blessings especially them. They are my world!
i have none of these things from my father. he died this year. before he died i asked him. "Do you like anything about me" long pause, CRICKETS.....he said "I guess i dont like myself" this is the inner core state of the narcissistic wound. "Self loathing and jealousy" if a narcissist has a son who is something then the narcissist is nothing. SHAME RULES SOME MEN a lifetime of invalidation, hidden anymosity, withdrawl, criticism, gaslighting, projection, triangulation, sabotage leaves me a lost and broken person.
Time together hit me differently❤❤❤ I spent my 26 years every fucking moment with him, we could even get to 12am just story telling ,a fun time together, looking cattle ,goats and sheep together, eating together and doing every other thing that pertains to life together❤❤When I lost him 2021 he left a hollow in my heart that took so much time to get over it 😢😢😢 ,I now thank God I'm getting better and thank God for giving such as dad,a gift that kept giving all through until he went to be with His father in . RIP Dad ❤❤❤ And thank you for sharing this life altering wisdom🎉🎉
I don’t have a dad, always wanted to know what it felt like to have one. Sure my mom has been there for me since day 1 but it’s not the same. Truly would’ve been nice to have a father that actually wanted to be in my life.
To everyone reading this, I sincerely pray for that whatever is causing you pain or stress will pass. May your negative thoughts, excessive worries and doubts disappear, replaced by clarity and understanding. May your life be filled with peace, tranquility and love
Man not having a father growing up this video makes me sad ngl but fortunately I have a almost 3 year old daughter and let me tell you I will be there for her and spend time with her. Also teaching her wisdom
I’m not religious and I have strong reservations about how religion is practiced by some, but I do live by my own framework of values and convictions, which I take quite seriously. These statements ring true for me and I appreciate the video, thanks.
Even if the time with my father wasn’t the best, I’m going to try as hard as I can when it comes to mine. No irrational anger just critical thinking and compassion.
My father was a great man but lacked in giving any advice or guidance to me, I have 2 sons of my own now, who I love, guide & motivate. You learn from what you don’t get.
I always wished that my dad gives this to me. He's still around and healthy and in the family but he's just there but nothing else....just an empty shell. I grew up lost in life. But I'm proud of myself that I see what I wanted in my future and I'm giving it all to my two children the fatherhood that I never had.
Respect to you for putting thought and effort into your relationship with your son. I wish you strength and wisdom to become the kind of man that your son will proudly look up to. All the best to you!
I got about half of those things… but the one thing I never got was that final affirmation of pride, regardless of whether or not he felt it, I can’t fully believe because he never expressed it. I forgive him for that but it is a major reason for many of my struggles in life. And I’ve a shit ton to offer the world but still battle daily ridiculous insecurities
The best lesson my dad taught me was when my grandpa passed, he showed me that memories were far better than inherited things. He forever changed my viewpoint into what really counts in life! I’m so grateful for the time we had together!
I had a really bad dad. Abusive, manipulative, jealous, deceptive, and cruel. It instilled a sense of shame in me that has been very hard to shake over my 40 years of life. But, I am doing my best. I am pushing myself to succeed. I am trying to understand and control my mental health. I am trying to build a career and a future for myself. But I definitely feel as if I’ve been playing life on hard mode for very little reward. Some days are harder than others. Thanks for the great video.
Your video really resonated with me. I try to teach practicalities ask for 1 on 1 time with my daughter and son, but been rejected for years. Now they are 17 and 20. I want to have no regrets and leave a positive, loving impression on my kids (support them, do something special, provide practical life skills, answer those deeper questions of life, and provide marvel lasting moments to "Model godly noble behavior".) I feel many fathers are out there like myself, still getting rejected by there kids as the support system in the domicle is not equal. Billy Graham said, "A good father is one of the most unsung, unpraised, unnoticed, and yet one of the most valuable assets in our society." If the internal working family doesn't have a solid two-way support system at home, division of kids relationships deteriorate. I am a father the will try till I die to impose those ever-lasting relationships with my kids so they can pass on the learnings and experiences to their kids and future family generations. But currently having to rebuild new relationships with my kids. Tierce, "What do you advise or recommend at this stage in my life? Do you have any resourceful programs, support groups, books, videos or advice to offer that can shed light here? Thx
Finding a group of like-minded men in your area would be life-giving at this season of your life. Just open and honest conversations alone would be helpful, but you could also go through some content together. This video is an excerpt from a 6-volume set called 33 The Series. Each volume has six sessions that cover foundational topics of biblical manhood. Learn more at tiercegreen.com/33theseries. I don't own 33, so I can't give it away, but all of the new content I'm creating is freely available on the Good Feed Media App. Learn more and download at goodfeedmedia.com
Years ago I remember saying to my mother, in response to one of my father's nasty hurtful verbally abusive comments, "I don't know how I'm going to react when that man dies." Years later when I received the news that he had stage 4 terminal cancer I got the answer. I felt a horrible crushing pain in my heart, the likes of which I'd never felt and haven't felt since. I can remember driving up to a mountain top to be all alone so I could scream and cry like I'd never cried before. I was literally on the ground sobbing and wailing like a child. When he was alive I avoided him. Though he had always been a good provider and worked hard to keep us fed, clothed and housed he never had a single kind word to say. It wasn't till he died that I came to understand why I grieved so hard. I wasn't grieving the loss of someone I was close to. I was grieving for the loss of all those wasted years that could have been. His final months rendered him unable to communicate verbally. He never learned to read or write so there was no way of knowing what was going through his mind. But I could see it in his eyes, what he wanted to tell me. I've since come to remember that. His eyes filled with such love and tenderness that he was never capable of expressing. It's been 13 years and I frequently look up to heaven and say out loud "I love you dad. I always loved you and that will never ever change. I will see you again. "
Thank you for recognizing that some men show this love through sacrifice. They are so busy making your life comfortable that they may not have the time to give you all the cuddles and softness you think you deserve. He was a man. He provided and protected. Could he have done more? Certainly. No man is perfect, but at least you recognized his sacrifice. He did much better than a lot of men who planted their seed and vanished. Give him that much.
My father was never 'with' us kids at all, we were in the way of him living his life, never took us on holidays ever ! ..... never took any photos of us, took no interest in our development, never came to see me play sport or even talk about it. People say he was the strong silent type ? He loved the whole Xmas and Easter thing, was always up for a party at New Year .... but all those months inbetween he just wasnt available for us. My Mother knew no different either but at least was there every day AND she worked shiftwork as a nurse. I took me many years of raising my own family, which was problematic at best, to understand the era my parents grew up in. Everybody was poor, the world was trying to cope with the after effects of WWII , so they both had a tough childhood. Bottom line here is that as dysfunctional as our family was, i loved both my parents until they passed away, and I still do for that matter. Yes our childhood could have been better but it was all i knew ? they were a product of theirs too, so how can you be critical. My parents were the best parents they knew how to be ...... thats all. 'Role models' didnt even exist when i was a child. So I agree with everything said in this video and most of the comments. Looking back and questioning things from the past doesnt do anyone any good when its mostly negative IMO ......... Such is life ..... make the most of it because it can end too suddenly
My father is dying as write this. He's got a few days left to live. I have been holding his hand and telling him how love him and that I'm proud of him. But he can't speak back due to the morfine he is getting. He did so much for me, was always kind and patient with me even when I didn't deserve it. He held my hand as child and protected. I regret so much that havent spend more time with him lately. It came so suddenly. Goodbye bye my dear father, I will miss you. You will always be in my heart.
I think sons that grow up without fathers become one of two things, either the opposite of their father through seeing the errors of his ways and wanting to be better than he was or they repeat their fathers mistakes because they don’t care and have given up. Always look to better yourself no matter the circumstances, you can’t change other people but you can change yourself
I was 17 when I became a father. It was hard. I sucked at being a dad. But, I played with him, I taught him, I loved him, and I guided him. His mother wasn't around much. I was his rock and even though he's almost 30 I'm still the guy that takes care of him whenever he needs something. I wasn't the best dad, not even going to try to fake it and say I was. But I did what I thought was right even when it was hard. My son knows this. He knows I wasn't the best dad, but he also realizes I was young, dumb, and doing what I thought was the best for him at the time. Do what you think is right for your children and not yourself. Once you have kids it's not really about YOU anymore. Be a better you so you can be a better person for those around you. Just take it one day at a time guys. Tomorrow wake up and be a better you.
My father hated me. He was the worst person I’ve ever met. He was a narcissistic controlling psychopath. We had numerous arguments and fist fights. Needless to say I left when I was 15. I was emancipated by the court. He was a pig until the day he died. Nobody could stand him so I had to take care of the estate. In his back closest I found a note he had written to me in the 1990’s describing exactly how much he despised me. It was disgusting. It was titled, “please read over my death bed.” When my son was 16 I let him read this letter and told him that I loved him and the abuse stopped here with me. I had made a choice when he was little to be the exact opposite of my father. We make sure that we never forget this behavior stops with him and I. We refuse to allow this to continue through us.
Going to the store, or running errands, my son would go with me. I let him make choices early, so he could think for himself. Like looking out the window on a rainy day, I asked him, “should I wear a coat? Ya dad you should wear a coat”, he said. He is an only child, but today he has 3 kids, with a Loving wife. We are very close and he calls me often. He is an awesome man!
Having strong male role models is essential to raising good children. Actions should match words. Live the way you preach, because your children (and others ) are watching for congruency.
I'm thankful that I made it a point to be all to my son that my dad was not to me. I will never know what it's like to be told I'm worthy, valued, handsome, great job or we'll get through this etc. Not even from my mother. But, my son knows without a doubt how much he has meant to me, the depth of love I have for him. The bullet I would take for him. I'm 53 now and will never know those things, but as a dad I get to be all those things I missed out on. AND THAT I would not trade for the second chance. He is 32 now and 2 kids of his own and to watch him with them warms and makes my heart swell.
these comments are some of the most deepest and heaviest i ever read on youtube, its a shame to have to navigate life without the sturdy map of our fathers.
😢😭😭You brought me in tears, sir. I felt like you were a father figure to me in just one video. You, sir, are amazing. 10 out of 10! You have earned my utmost respect! Also, a subscriber!
Thanks, Matthew! I’m glad this was an encouragement to you. None of us are perfect fathers. As seen in many of the comments on this video, there is clearly a lot of pain. That was my experience with my Dad. I’m thankful for God’s grace to help us navigate through this.
This is a really beautiful message. Thank you so much.There definitely is a huge void if these elements are not present. My father comes from a completely different universe - never took any time to get to know me. It leaves a huge whole. A hole no other person will fill, maybe some are lucky and an uncle for instance can see the father is useless. And helps. But I didn't have that either. I've learnt a lot from your message here and will be this person for my son. Thank you so so much.
The main thing is a dad who is there... I met an older guy recently. He told me after retirement he was down in his basement one day and he was looking at all the awards, trophies and diplomas. He said to me they didn't matter. The one thing he wished he did more was spend more time with his kids and family.
I had 2 dads, neither could say they checked the box on any of the five. My biological dad left me when I was as 7. My Mom remarried, a man with 4 troubled boys. This video reminded me have how I longed to have my dad do something with me. Longed to hear “I’m proud of you son”. I wish I could have seen this video as a young dad, I have a son and he is our only child. He is married now with children of his own. Recently he posted to Facebook on my birthday, “My friend, my coach, my mentor, my Dad”. Do not perpetuate the mistakes of your parents. You can still have a meaningful relationship with your children.
Brings tears to my eyes ! My mrs kicked me out 3 months ago ! My son and I had the closest relationship ever , such a lovely funny calm dry sense of humoured 13 year old young man ! From seeing my son morning noon and night , and now see him occasionally ! I hate my life !
I had my two sons with me, day in day out until their mom got jealous and told them not to spend time with me anymore. I did not see them after they were 13 and 15. I dream of the moments we had
I admire step fathers who can do a better job of guardianship than the biological parents of the children he has adopted. I always knew as a kid that most adults are far from perfect - that's how I survived a violent and uncaring upbringing without becoming anything like the many idiots my nasty mother married.
"... then it leaves this huge vacuum and void in his life", to be filled by who knows what. Fill your children with the right things and there won't be room for crap.
Great video. My father passed when I was 10. And those moments with him were enough keep me centered into adulthood. & now as a father I see the way my son looks up to me with beaming eyes & im blessed to share these moments with him.
What we can do if the dad is inadequate himself? Like he has asperger? Passive, unmotivated, non-driven? Lack of social skills? Can't read social cues? Avoidant personality? Inflexible and selfish? Non-communicative? Messy/hoarding? Clueless? Eating disorder? Lazy? Lack of executive functioning? Have this "can't do" attitude? I see our 3 sons so lost and angry (and taken out on me). As a mom, I try my best to expose them to eat right, different social situations, church, scouting. I push them to do exercise and make them to go outdoor activities (like hiking, camping) with me. Their first decade was good because I was basically in charge as a caregiver, husband following along. Now, they need a solid dad to lead them and teach them manhood. I found that my husband is a grown boy or a mama boy. I can't say he is absent. He works. He lives at home. He is there but not really there. He doesn't step up & always take a backseat. To give you an idea, he is like Ray from the Everybody Loves Raymond TV show, and it's not funny!
My Dad paid the bills, other than that, didn't want to know me. In my mid forties and have learned most of these things by trial and error and life experience.I have a beautiful baby daughter. Hopefully I'll teach what a parent is supposed to be and that she is loved and wanted and to never be afraid.
get some! Start today and be the best you can, for her, and she'll love you unconditionally. I didn't have a father growing up and now have two girls and they fill me with joy every day. They make me want to be the best man I can be.
I have 4 boys, soon to be 5. I am an excellent provider. So was my dad. But my dad and I had relatively few real emotional bonding moments. I wanted to do better in that department for my kids. For a while I did, but now all I do is work to keep up with my responsibility to provide. When I was younger (and poorer) my oldest son got a part of me that my younger ones aren't getting now. And that hurts me tremendously. But I don't know how to break this cycle without harming their standard of living.
God, family, work. In that order i used to think that way, i remember being at work all the time. watching them on my security camera play in the backyard, throwing the football around, until i realized that no amount of money could bring that missed time with them back. So i cut my hours made a (few) sacrifices and now , i’m only sad i didn’t do it sooner, i know it’s cliche but you can’t put a price on memories with you children.
