I was so surprised to find HG over here. It's great when HG comes into other corners of the internet that I frequent. It's a bit like finding out that two ppl you know, also came across each other. And it makes the world feel like a slightly more cosy and navigable place!
33:54 what people get wrong about semen retention Edit: basically what he's saying is that you only get the benefits of semen retention if you don't even wanna masturbate and don't feel any lust or sexual desires in the first place. So forcing yourself to stop masturbating won't work. Developing your way into a non-lustful existence in which masturbating doesn't even sound like something you'd ever wanna do is what he's talking about.
@@The92Wafflescorrect. We should try to be busy. But at some point boredon will happen anyway, and thats the moment we need to have the discipline to be bored instead of picking the phone
@@bat1579 u guys managed to multiply 2 positive numbers and end up with a negative, boredom is a mini-rest where the brain takes a break from the most large motor functions/internal dialogue and sort of consolidates the most recent stimulating/challenging thing. Maybe I'm being dumb here but if you work a 9-5 you'll know if you sincerely work nonstop on your daily tasks you can finish everything by like 12-2 pm and that a lot of productivity comes in waves like REM sleep (circadian) and the much shorter ultraradian window for your focus. ultimately ive sort of lost my point but I mean that being bored is a result of exhausting your brain like lactic acid when you do high intensity workouts and by resting and breathing your physiological functions will get you topped up
@@The92Waffles the best way to understand is to stare at a wall for 20 minutes without moving. One of the worst might be a yt comment section, generally. Very powerful to not be *forced* into an action by boredom, as an external force
I personally think that the pursuit and/or need for a relationship/bonding with a partner to NATURALLY express the sexual appetite is part of the equation. I don't remember this psychiatrist emphasizing this in the video.
@@baddro1187 it might be the most effective, but finding someone to provide that is a game of luck rather than something you can strive to and make self-inflicted progress on your own.
@@jadoniccryon5898depends on your beliefs man, depends if you want your life and heart to have a certain structure, or you just want to indulge in hedonism, non-commitment, and solitude. Even if it’s very difficult and many values are drifting away in the West, don’t give up on future generations. Be stronger and firmer in your belief that future generations will be better. It’s better to die optimistic and hopeful than depressed and hopeless. One has tried. The other has already given up. Good luck :)
You've summed up distractions, it works as long as it works so to speak It's like trying to shift someone from religion A to religion B, no it's not the solution If there are a lot of wars in the world and it leads to emotional trauma then the solution is not to turn away from these events or fall into cognitive dissonance
I really loved this podcast. I've heard from Dr.K on his channel that he's been on a round of interviews and now I'm stumbling across them. And there are many things he explains from scratch cause the audience on other channels is not used to him. And I benefit from this, as he's telling things slightly different each time and each round I seem to "click" in another detail that I did not touch before. On the other hand, because it's not his channel and the channel owners are asking him the questions, he also gets to talk about things that are a first, for me. It's really fun. I found this podcast a while ago and it was very delightful. I really enjoy to learn about men specific health concerns, for example. But it's very balanced. There's also things for me as a woman AND approaches on how to work better together, especially when it comes to intimacy. There are so many ways in which educators and simply "fellow people" saved me over the years. I'm really grateful and I see impact in my real life, thanks to it. So, thank you for sharing your insights and also collaborating to bring out new aspects and combinations.
I don't know if this will help anyone else but this is what I am doing. Dancing and Singing increases oxytocin. my father always told me his fondest memories of me as a kid was when I used to dance. Peter Quill, Starlord? fictional, but before his mother's passing gave him a music player and he danced his whole life. I think people should put it this way: Your body needs oxytocin. You need something to increase oxytocin. there's yoga, dancing, singing, working out. I'm picking two. You do you.
I love how Dr. K just invades my recommended by surprise and talking to a bunch of people that I've never heard of before, I'm learning a lot! Thanks for the conversation Dr. Rena Malik!
Thanks for sharing this informative discussion. Many golden nuggets to take into consideration and ponder on. I will be saving sharing this video for others. The scope the the discussion was outstanding.
Dr. K explained the majority of my life with relatively few words but with astonishing accuracy. Early childhood trauma, early childhood exposure to pornography through my older brother and an acrimonious relationship with my mother who can’t help but spew her toxicity on me spontaneously.
You know something, I see ya’ll on RU-vid quite often and am impressed with the caliber of information and so on. You both will be legends on here soon. Everyone will know your all’s name. Great work you two, great job!
I enjoyed this. The whole AI thing creeps me out to think about what is possible. I had never heard of the choking thing and I found it disturbing. Not only is it very dangerous but I would never expect my partner to do something she doesn't want to do. Thanks for this!
I don't think we have a need to be bored, but time spent just being present and aware is essential. They are very different. If you're bored, you aren't present because you're probably thinking and definitely judging your current state. All suffering is a result of not being present and comparing what is with what you think should be or want to be.
It’s called “vairagya” or the practice of dispassion. It just means putting less and less importance on the various pleasures (desires) and pains (aversions) experienced through the sense organs, until you are unaffected by either. Through this practice one attains an inner resiliency.
but why do u want to do that ? from all the erotic temples in india and the long tantric lineage, it's crystal clear 'passion' or raga is the key to enlightenment. the master key is the wisdom/method to transmute what is apparently 'bad' to 'good'. the entire deal has always about union of shiva shakti, brahma maya, nirvana-samsara, male-female principle. why else we have all the tantric deities in sexual pose with their consorts.
@@of8ightandse7en16 tantra is certainly one potential path. Fortunately, enlightenment is a destination with many paths. What I described is merely a single limb of ashtanga yoga, not the full path. So to answer your question, one would practice vairagya if they believe the yogic path is correct for them.
@@jhester23 there are many paths sure. but the way u put it is like vairagya is "the" path. in fact, nofap became a somewhat anti-woman or women = devil kind of propaganda. this is in total contrary to the highest yoga in which the feminine is to be worshipped, the shakti. and by the way, people practice vairagya because celibacy is the standard precept for any so called 'spiritual' pursuit, from buddhist monk, catholic priest, and brahmacharya. this is a later development and certain gurus concealed the 'actual yoga' of the old. that's exactly the problem. all the ancients worship and practice 2 things. Sex and astrology. from dionysus cult, elesunian msyteries, eucharist, tantra, maithuna, daoist sexual practice, sexual magick. The entire key has always been transmutation, to turn poison to nectar via skillful means. The so called yoga these days are already degenerated. All these limbs are latter development, given to the average person to follow. Alot of people misunderstood napoleon hill and think it's about nofap. but in his other books, he clearly mentioned how a businessman gain a business idea when he climax to his wife. That's a sexual magick, not simply semen retention.
I am actually convinced that not pornography but masturbation caused my severe depression. My body got so used to the hormonal releases that it needed a high dose to keep my stress in check and once the body got overwhelmed depression wasn't far. Stress in my life caused me to seek relief through masturbation but that same habit caused me more and more uncontrolled stress and all that lead to me almost dying. Thank God for my psychiatrist and the strong medicines he gave I was able to get out of my depression within a few weeks after having suffered severe depression for more than 3 years.
I do too, I am still suffering from it after 3 years. Took some SSRI for 3 months and only and I am still suffering. I dont know how we can reach our message / request to Dr.K
Fantastic clarity of thoughts! The physiatrist (Dr. K) was bang on 100 percent! ❤ Meditation is the key to success and happiness. Vedic practices have proven to be the essence of human existence!
The part of the video which resonates the most with me is 48:42. Men and women used to need each other. Now, we don't. So men do not compete with other men, but with their prospective partner's alone time. And it is a losing match for everyone, especially since more and more hobbies are "single player" (video games, netflix, etc). Not saying it is the fault of these products or the fault of people who like staying alone. After all, not every person who likes to stay alone is single. But it has an impact on this added struggle to dating. It just is the result of circumstances. But I believe that what Dr K said at this moment may very well be hidden but important to that discussion.
That is a fantastic interview and addresses so many issues there are happening just now. Thanks Dr. Malik and your guest is just fantastic, nice to see how casually he talks about complex topics. Definitely will follow up.
“No society can understand itself without looking at its shadow side.” Gabor Maté, In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction "People will come to love their oppression, to adore the technologies that undo their capacities to think. The easiest way to solve a problem is to deny it exists. The propagandist's purpose is to make one set of people forget that certain other sets of people are human." Aldous Huxley What is really amazing, and frustrating, is mankind's habit of refusing to see the obvious and inevitable until it is there, and then muttering about unforeseen catastrophes." Isaac Asimov
It's curious to observe the sudden surge of interest among Westerners in Tantra. Coming from India and following the denomination associated with the Tantric lifestyle, we don't romanticize it or obsess over it as a path to moksha. In fact, it's known as Vamacharya, the Left-Hand Path, which requires profound detachment and dissociation from Grihastya. It's concerning to see some people perceive it as exotic hippie bullcrap that can be casually pursued in places like Rishikesh
@@okayaresd Spot on ! True words indeed, however the West’s interest in such practices isn’t recent, given all the academic work pursued since at least the 19th century, romanticising it is indeed noticeable from certain subcultures or personalities. I think the best book I’ve read about it in all seriousness was Julius Evola’s book on the subject, definitely recommending it
@@cameronvallejo4157 I think because of all our sages and swamis visiting the US during the 70s and 80s lead to this spark. People must've been curious to see folks dressed in Saffron preaching Krishna, but what they don't understand is that the best way to learn about a culture or lifestyle is to live it. In no way do I suggest the Tantric lifestyle 😂 but yes, feel free to research on your own. It's fascinating but not meant for all, and thanks for the book recco. Jai Mata Di ❤
When he mentioned about game addiction during childhood,he was right.When i was a kid,my parents would hide my gaming console in their bedroom cos i was spending too much time on game.Eventually when they are out for work,i would go into their bedroom and search the whole room.When i found where they hide my console,i would played the game but before they get back home i would put back the console in their room.😅 I was not addict.After a while i stop playing console when i reached puberty and my parents did not purchase any new games for us so we played the same game repeatedly which eventually make us stop.These were days with no internet which now i think about it my parents did the right thing for not providing us with Internet Subscription.
@xxtimeisthefireinwhichweburnxx I grew up poor too.I had no toys.Only when i was 16, i bought the stuff i want with my part time jobs music cds mostly and bands merchandise.
😁😁 *A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship.* The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier. He said to the female whale, "Lets both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink." They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank. Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore. The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female, "Let's swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore." At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him. "Look," she said, "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the sea men.
One thing that doesn't get discussed much is the pyramid so to speak of sexual addiction, where you have porn at the bottom, once you stop being addicted to porn you go higher up and might get addicted to things like voyeurism and edging which have roots in porn but technically aren't porn. These things are slightly less common but still become addictions, and have less outlets than regular porn usage does to have discussions with peers about. If you get past that addiction then you get to the state where you can think about regular sexual relationships, at that point you need to realize how damaging all these lower energy addictions are and how your most vital energy is used for intimate relationships. Its not that doing one of these things once makes you a bad person, its that making your entire life based around these low energy addictions SURELY turns you into a terrible person over time. You get a natural instinct to avoid these things and you have to key into that on purpose.
Haven't come across your channel before, but I will say I've enjoyed the video so far. One thing of note is that the audio is kinda horrible tbh, part of it is restricting the video to 720p also cuts down on the audio bandwidth, but I'll say even beyond that the audio mix itself needs to be adjusted. Lots of peaking and buzzing.
Usually my phone is in my pocket when I'm in the bathroom. Even if I was already watching something the bathroom is time to take a break and relax. Same with taking the train. I don't do it often but it's an hour when I do. I usually just enjoy looking out the window.
I'm not exactly sure what I did right as a parent, but I'm 49 and neither of my GenZ sons are much interested in being on their phones. My youngest might have an issue with gaming addiction, but it's hard to say, considering he's continued to be a straight A student into his Sophomore year at Indiana University. My oldest is interested in women and boobs and such, but hell fire, he's 23, so I'm not too worried 😂
You're probably just a cool dad, my dad is very lame and ive struggled with porn addiction and confidence issues my whole life and its created so many problems where there arent any. My dad has never once expressed care for this part of my life.
@@Ryan-xq3klThat's just wild to me. That someone doesn't try and help and/or talk to their kids about these kinds of things. Hope you can find someone to talk to when you do struggle though! Hang in there
"Is this other person's life is better alone, or with me ?" is so spot on. That's exactly what goes through my mind when I meet a girl I find interesting, and usually my first thought is that the answer is without me. And I think many guys feel this way, that they're not worthy enough for a woman and that they'll be more of a burden that a bringer of upsides. Even though we might have the feeling we can bring her something, help her out with what she seems to be lacking, it often doesn't match what we feel like she deserve and that we won't be able to provide. Anyway, great video and really interesting thoughts and facts. Dr. K is truly a blessing, thanks for bringing him in and asking him much more interesting questions than many interviewers do (even though he still manage to be passionate about any subjects despite sometimes meeting bad interviewers hehe) :)
As someone who struggles with this mentality, I think this sort of self-defeating attitude holds us back. When we decide that we have nothing to offer someone, we’re assuming that we know their mind. But what if you’re wrong? What if what you have to offer is enough? Who are you to decide what someone else deserves/wants from a relationship? You’ll never know if you don’t try. For me at least, I think this sort of thinking is a form of protection against rejection and disappointment. It disguises itself as selflessness, but really its just allowing the fear of negative experiences to control your life. All of the best things that have happened to me happened because I took a risk on something I wasn’t sure would succeed.
@@Uhshawdude I definitely agree that it holds us back and that we're missing on good experiences in life, even if they end up "failing" or not going the way we hoped it would. I thought about this recently, that regrets of not doing something are much worse than regrets about doing something and it not ending up succeeding the way we hoped for. To me it's more of a protection against the fear or disappointing someone else, hurting her or keeping her away from moving forward in her life. Probably because I had an experience that I feel was this case, even though I guess I did help her with some other stuff. Rejection I learned to not be so afraid about it anymore, but still yeah your words resonate for sure. Taking risk and stepping outside our comfort zone and doing things that feels hard at first are definitely the true only way to enjoy worthy experiences and rewards indeed. Appreciate you sharing your mind and personal experience man, wish you the best for the future :)
@@FrenchieSenseiyou hit it right on the head, my motto in life is "risk takers get rewarded" and you will never know what exactly you're missing out on if you never even put yourself in the position to succeed.. you have a defeated mindset before you even take an L which is what I believe one of the greatest ways we can hold ourselves back.. i love the idea of having to be a little delusional in order to make your dreams come true bc it takes like you said getting our of that comfort zone and doing things you only dreamed of to make your dreams a reality... even if your dreams are as mundane as getting a girlfriend/wife. Jus keep taking it one day at a time brother Im rooting for you
I've been watching Rena's videos because I'm getting closer to 50... Recently I started Transcendental Meditation and having issues with the over ambitious PR (eg "TM is not spiritual or religious" "other forms of meditation..." "studies show that TM..."), contradictory pseudo-scientific bullshit and cultish scripted method of teaching. anyway this has put some context on practices and the interplay with real life issues that my teacher is failing to address
This is a superb discussion. During semen retention does not the surplus semen end up overflowing into the urethra tube and flow when you urinate above nocturnal emission?
Listening to both of you talk about NO FAP, I realised you both don't understand it or the motivations. I went from masterbating to porn 12 times a day, having no energy, motivation or even the capacity to do my job. Not masterbating for just 1 week, cleared my mind, gave me focus, gave me motivation, boosted my testosterone, made me cold tolerant, made me driven allowed me to have agency. Allowed me to break free of the shackles of addiction so I could then do the things I wanted to do. So really, guys, you need to have serious addiction yourself and then try it to understand and if you're going to saying something like "well ppl have noctornal emission anyway". You don't when you have ED from porn addiction. The reality is for some people, who I suspect have issues either with the dopamine receptors or the degrading of dopamine in the brain. This is the only thing that works. Yes, mediation can help even more. But for many, the addiction is so powerful, the lack of focus and lack of agency it puts you in is so powerful that you are no longer a conscious human anymore. You are a dog, being led around by anything that catches your attention and when you do just one week of NO FAP, you suddenly become a human again and can control yourself.
I agree, this podcast took it to lightly and almost poked fun at the topic. I was in your same shoes and trying to break free now. I am also addicted to nicotene, and caffeine. They are all connected and breaking through one can help with the rest. Right now I am on my best retention,, 26 days but boy has it been tough at times. Best of luck to you. I also do a lot of meditation, Nei Dan, Ji Jin Jing and Qi Gong. Qi Gong has been great for balancing my energies and keeping me on task.
Im about a month in of no porn or self gratification an i notice already my eyes getting clearer (whiter), i am sleeping better, unfortunately wake up pitchin a tent that lasts more than 30 minutes but also i see a change in my skin in just a short amount of time.
Czech actor Jaroslav Dušek is such a good comentator, saying his opinions in Czech language for czech-slovak audience: He studies books about the mindulness and meets people, who teach techniques. They asked him about "current trends in the world". He said: "It is the same as "the plastic dolls with the plastic boobs" they make you believe " how we enjoyed it today again...." "they think they have to provide us with some "magnifying glass" to understand something better, or enjoy something better.... but in the reality, it is the exact opposite. You don´t need any "dolls with the plastic boobs" or "magnifying glass" to enjoy life. He says it in poetic way with a poetic calm voice, but also in the most funny way.
Best times to meditate are between 2am and 6am and then again between 2pm and 6pm. These are the “vata” hours of the day according to Ayurveda and are the peak times for meditation, breathing practices and yoga.
It seems like we need to look at porn addiction like any other for example, like smoking, alcohol, drugs etc. The “cold turkey” + substitution approach works well with alcohol for example, where every time you feel the need for booze you substitute with water and stop it right there. For porn, I think exercise may be a great antidote - pull out the yoga mat and strap and dive into a stretching routine for example. Offices that have a separate yoga room may have the right idea.
I had no idea it was even a thing when I took this path half a century ago. Just liked feeling more energetic. Little did I know what awaited me, nor would I have believed some of the benefits would be possible had I not experienced them firsthand. Here for questions if anyone is interested, assuming I'll be allowed to respond.
Doctors the younger adults dilemma in our develop countries has majority to do with insecurity of lack of social services, housing, advantageous career opportunities, work life balance and compensation for it. If we had a law pass for a 4 day work week, 6 hour shifts, pay raised and adjusted to the new differential that would help many people entirety. We're wasting valuable time at jobs staying busy or on our devices at work instead of spending timer ourselves, with the people or the communities that are important to us.
I'm Just Tired of Life .. 😔 Im Too Shy to Find a Partner, and there's Issues in making a living as well I can't go on much now .. At most a Few Months 😮💨
“My partner likes to” Ha! Thats been the entire woman” experience for ages. (Note the lack of understanding of female anatomy) its not harmful enough to say no so why push back. The partner choking tends to like it because of the power dynamic
Eroticising aphyxiation is not that weird. As a guy, i notice that women i have been with enjoy varying degrees of touching, pressure or choking of their neck. It is easy to think, "if they like that, more/harder might be better" As mentioned, the woman (assuming its a woman recieving) may not particularly like more but in the moment, if their partner seems to like it, they go along with it. Many women enjoy a submissive dynamic and so the act itself may bot be a turn on, the psychological aspect may be. The only real answer is open communication and respecting your partner's boundaries and valuing their enjoyment and pleasure. People often don't know what they like until they try it and a lot of things we do or enjoy doing because we believe (correctoy or not) that our partners like it.
I really wonder how many of DR Ks followers are actually accomplishing goals and conquering their traumas , or if there just learning to “accept nothings good and nothing is bad”
Absolutely amazed, thank you so much to both of you for your precious contribution to humanity! Peace & Love, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare, Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare , for best object of meditation on this present age!
Energy is important even to stay more present in meditation. I dont agree. It should come natural, this is true, you have to have a good reason and not a mental reason. However energy is what is needed to be focused and freer, opened to meditation
The feeling that I don't need what others need to be happy makes mee feel like God. I feel sorry for other men and women who are stuck in this animalistic life and missing out one much higher pleasures life has to offer! Thank God for saving me!
Mine was my right frontal lobe meningeoma brain tumour, now it's been removed, my filters and cognitive abilities are returning. Oddly enough my prolactin levels have dropped, my testosterone levels are up and I'm loosing weight, so on another one of your discussions re sex hormones it appears pressure on the pituatry gland as a result of intercranial pressure build up/ increase can affect in many ways
When people bought Playboy and similar magazines 30 years ago, do you think they did this to read the content pages? So, what's the difference between watching Playboy magazine porn vs internet porn?
@robertslotte3978 About a decade ago, there was a period when I had about ten girlfriends. I had to slow down at some point. I told several that it was over and replaced them with porn (saved money, dinner time, bars, etc.). I felt much more relaxed and energetic on porn.
I think its basically like comparinng addictive levels of consumption. Video porn is way worse than just pictures, thats my theory and seems to hold true. Also you may only have a few magazines but the internet you just get endless amounts of videos. Like fast food burger is easier to over eat calories than say a burger you made at home, eat like 5 mcdoubles or like 2 homemade burgers. Your gonna feel fuller on 2 homemade burgers and they may be less overall calories than 5 mcdoubles not to mention the nutrional benefits.
