WHAT HAPPENED NEXT... 

Meg, watching your 80 round, I could hear the panic in your breathing, but then you kept going and hit your stride and I just started bawling. Because not only was it beautiful to see your determination and work paying off, but you did what I was never able to do. Last year I gave up riding after decades of having horses because I couldn’t get over the anxiety (and as you get older the ground gets harder). It’s been a difficult decision but I never dealt with my anxiety until it was insurmountable. If I could turn the clock back I’d put everything I had into the mental rehab I needed. So kids, be like Meg. And Meg, keep up the good work.

Trauma is so poorly understood despite being so commonplace. And our own brains sabotage us when it comes to dealing with it because our brains just want to get back to "normal". Ol' brainy shoves everything down and covers it up while our bodies are like "Nope! Here's a debilitating dose of adrenaline whenever you encounter something that reminds you of that trauma!" It sucks and the courage to discuss and overcome trauma is to be celebrated and admired far more than society currently celebrates it. Thank you for having the courage to share your struggles honestly!

Meg you are a true inspiration to us all as someone who struggles with anxiety aswell it feels almost refreshing to know that I’m not alone. I wish you all the best with regaining your confidence ❤

Lucinda is so lovely and i'm very happy you start to believe in yourself again. The comparison of Lucinda with the old lady in the car who can't see what's happening around her is great.

It made me so happy and proud to see your confidence and self-belief increase in that lesson. Not to mention the fact you were pushing for the strides. You rode amazingly, well done.xxxxx

After not riding for a month, I went through a really bad confidence drop. I would go home and just feel like a terrible rider. Seeing this journey was has been super helpful for me and I’m sure others can say the same. You’re a real inspiration to me and other people ❤

As someone who struggles with anxiety when jumping. I feel the pain. It's so hard. We get so overwhelmed as equestrians, and we never really give ourselves a chance to take a break or ask for help. Hearing the pain and the panic in your voice in my previous video it broke my heart. I no longer ride horses cause of the sheer fear and anxiety I do have. Love being around them, but when It comes to riding, it terrifies me. I don't know when I lost my confidence but I just woke up one day and got in a massive anxiety attack. I hope and pray that you'll continue getting support from lucinda and everyone around you. We are all here for you ❤️

I think what you said about associating fearful feelings with Dee more makes *perfect* sense and is a great insight! And what you said about ppl should not feeling bad about going down a level or two is quite right, it's the same thing you'd do for a horse that had had a rough go and needed a confidence boost, right? Why not look after the rider just as well! That was honestly a really inspiring round at the arena event, and the lesson before it as well, you should be so proud of yourself and Dee. 💜

Oh Meg. First off - I'm proud of you for working through this and being willing to talk about it. Second, I want you to always remember that it's ok not to be perfectly brave all the time because the horse has got you. Dee has got you. As you panicked, Dee became steadier and calmer for you. She's strong for you. It's not all on you up there, she's got you.

Meg you did amazing. I had my first fall off a horse yesterday and I got back on and continued. I have been watching you for 2 years and you taught me never to give up and to get back in and try again.

Honestly meg you are such an inspiration. You share the bad and the good and help all the younger and newer riders that actually when we have bad days it's not just us. Your so amazing

EXACTLY! 🙌 💜

We all have confidence issues after a big fall Meg. You're being very wise in finding someone to help you through the issues that are remaining after the fall you took. So chuffed and proud of you Meg. Always will be!! And congratulations on your second place finish!!! From a Retired Paramedic, a S&R Dog and Handler Team Trainer,a Horse Trainer and an FEI Level 2 Coach and Judge from Ontario, Canada, Jenn. 💖 💖🇨🇦🇬🇧

I’m only 9 mins in and can see the difference!! Well done you Meg! Yet again, thank you for sharing this!! We are all so proud of you❤

Your words and experiences help so many who are struggling with their own confidence, thank you

10 years after an accident similar to yours I’ve still not gone back competing your brave and show so much strength and resilience

You're doing so well Meg! I've had a confidence drop on all the horses I've ridden so much that I can barely even canter over poles anymore. You are doing amazing! 🖤🖤

13:56 Im sorry but was that a click and Meg pushing through the hedges!! Hearing you talk to Dee is so sweet!! We love you Meg and we are very proud of you❤️

I´m such a softie! I was sitting here counting and crying with you in your 80 round! I´ve been there myself years ago, so know how much it took for you to go in and do it! So very proud of you and Dee!!!

Looking fantastic Meg. 👌 well done for doing all those jumps. I used to chant, too, with a pony called Blue. He was terrified of every colour of jump. Enjoy your wonderful pony. Have some fun together. X

I had a fall almost a year ago that damaged my back at the beginning of my journey with my ottb. A couple of weeks ago I had another fall from him and it knocked my confidence and had me thinking about the first and bad fall from him. This realistic and similar journey has helped me so much

You did it, YOU!! You did amazing, i couldn't be more proud of you, and u should be proud of yourself!! Well done Meg ❤❤

Bloody well done Meg!! That jumping round at the end was brilliant! You’re so strong and brave. Most importantly, you’re facing these challenges face on with the best professional support! You’re doing everything right gal, it’s all going to be okay!❤👏🏻

I had a bad fall in 2020. I broke 4 transverse process bones in my back. I did it at home with a freak spook and I landed on my arena wall. I’ve never been the same since but consistency is definitely the key. Confidence is such a fragile thing. You are so lucky to have a big support network around you which will hopefully help you get your confidence back after a wobble. I’ve found that breaking things down helps and not putting too much pressure on yourself.

the hardest thing to do if admit that you need help and you've already taken that step! i know exactly what you mean about Katie explaining whats physically happening in your brain and how thats so helpful. well done meggie, you have got this!

Remember to let your cats sit on you when you’re at home their purrs are healing and stress realeving 😊 and you said weren’t pretty when you jumped but I think Lucinda was pleased that you did get back on and gave it a go and so am I 😊xoxoxoxo

You had an anxiety reaction when the trauma of your Bicton fall was triggered. It's visceral, stored in the body; one can't help it. Well done you for stepping back for a bit to recover. And for speaking to Katie.

I commented on your instagram, and i will say it here too.Thank you for sharing this, it think it will help a lot of people to not feel so alone in these feelings. I definitely wish i had someone like you talking and showing these things when i had a fall (not as bad as yours) with my old pony, and completely lost my confidence jumping, or even riding if the arena was wet. You are doing so well, and i am excited to keep following you on your journey, through highs and lows! I have followed your channel for years and you are definitely my favorite youtuber. Always make me more motivated by watching your videoes❤

So brave! To share, to persevere, to seek help. You’re awesome! And you deserve a bit of a wine and snack treat for sure! 😊❤😊❤

Very well done, Meg. I could hear the shakiness in your voice in your 80 round and it broke my heart for you, but you did it and got through it and I think with a sports' therapist and continuing openness about this very common problem you will work your way through it to the point where it will finally fade away. Of course, you've made it harder but much more laudable for yourself by doing going through this publicly. You are really SO MUCH BRAVER than you ever give yourself credit for, Meg, but maybe that will come in time too :) The only thing I wanted to add was maybe consider not comparing yourself with others so much. You are an amazing rider and an A+++ horsewoman; all on your own. Of course, Ellie Fredricks is an incredible rider too and was practically born on top of a horse and seeing her ride Dee reminds you of what you really already know that Dee has to offer. I don't mean this as a criticism of you or Ellie or Lucinda. Everyone has the best intentions and is helping you in so many ways. But I think you trying to make yourself "braver" or ride Dee the way Ellie can ride Dee is doing a bit of a disservice to yourself. We are all unique, sometimes for better sometimes for worse but we need to find our own way through these things. And I (along with many others) think you've got all you need within you to find your way through to realizing your dreams. I don't think I've expressed this very well, but thought it was worth saying anyway.

Meg, you're incredible. Most people don't go through this stuff "in public" and obvs you didn't have to share it. But omg is it important for everyone to know about "this stuff". Admitting you have a problem with anxiety/PTSD is the first step and you very quickly took step 2 & 3 in getting help and getting back on. That final session with Lucinda was incredible. You can hear it all in your breathing - comparing how you were with your 'break down' session Vs this final session and even the AXC. Having the mics on can really help you to hear when you shut down - but you said it yourself - the brain just goes into protect 'freeze' mode and you can't logic your way out of your evolution in the moment! I wish you all the best with your psych sessions with Katie - and for following your journey back to full confidence again. So much love to you xxxx

Having had such a scary fall I can truly feel for you. It's hard to push it aside and your breakdown was probably a good thing because being able to talk about it helps you get through it. If you love what you do and want to continue doing it you have to face your fear and move on. Your a talented rider and you've done a great job training your ponies. Wishing you much success down the road.

I so understand how you feel Meg, I used to do 3’ jumping classes as a junior and recognize that back then it would cause me to be very anxious. I’m glad you have a sports psych coach to talk to now, I hope she’ll be very helpful! Always wishing you the best. Thanks for including this on your channel!

Anyone who has been through severe trauma goes through what you are doing right now. Bravo for confronting it.

That was a good comeback. Nicely done! Lucinda explains it so well and your session makes me reflect on my own jumping and how I can improve. Thanks for sharing!

Support and hugs from Michigan. Glad you're taking care of yourself. Please be patient with your progress. You are a lovely rider with well trained ponies...give yourself space to heal.

Hi Meg! Your doing amazing❤️ I also lost my confidence last year since I had fallen off a baby horse and broken my arm and had to get a massive operation and it made me really nervous to get back on but the support from my instructor, my horsey friends and my family and I eased my self into it and now a year later...I have my 2 ponies!! 🥳🐴 So DONT worry you will get there!!❤️❤️

I would say you’re suffering with PTSD , definitely got speak to someone to help let go of the fear and the memories of Bicton which is holding you back. I came off a 17.3 at canter and broke my elbow years ago , it took years to get cantering again which is crazy ! I kept reliving the scenario over and over , not good , well done for getting back for the last lesson and good luck for the coming season x

Hey Meg, as someone who no longer rides (partly circumstantial but partly confidence) these videos have been so great to watch! When I was a teenager I had a pony that would bolt, and it got to the point I was so afraid I couldn't ride her at all, but I didn't realise until years later how badly she'd affected my confidence. Even though I had a couple of wonderful horses after her, the anxiety I got at competitions (especially jumping) totally changed my abilities and the way I would ride at shows affected those horses too. Long message but I so admire you for taking the proactive steps now to understand and adjust your mindset, and look forward to watching you in the future :) Also - I love Lucinda as a trainer! Firm and pragmatic but empathetic too.

its amazing that you share these ups and downs on social media as it's an extremely judgmental place, wishing you all the best on getting your confidence back on dee

Hey Meg, the annoying thing about PTSD is that your body does stuff (crying, bad breathing) without your permission. I am so proud of you for pushing through with this and not giving up. It will get better.

Meg, you are an inspiration to all riders out there you have trained amazing horses and ponies and you are a brilliant rider. Everyone has confidence issues sometimes it is just part of the sport we do you and your horses are incredible and we are lucky to have you on social media teaching us about ins and outs of horses and riding Go easy on yourself 🐴

I remember that I had the same situation as you. I rode a horse that was very different than my usual horse. We went to trot and this is were the problem began. Her trot was so fast and striking I couldn't handle It mentaly, so I just started crying :|. My usual horse was slow and calm and the difference was the thing that make me cry. Later on I got along with her and made a great duo. When I was watching your video I accualy teared up because I was younger me in YOU❤. I hope you feel better now.

Well, that brought tears to my eyes for sure, especially when you were talking to Dee (or maybe yourself) the day after, and also at fence 2 in the 80cm. But you did absolutely brilliantly and the more forward canter at Lucinda's the day after, was perfect. Well done! Onwards and upwards! All the best.

meg you rode beautifully! at lucindas AND the arena eventing! you should be so proud of yourself for taking that step to get your confidence back, and thank you so much for sharing your journey with us all - we like to see both the ups and downs and how you overcome them. thank you for being so real with us and not sugarcoating how you feel. we love you meg❤

I love that you shared this with the world, Meg! It's so refreshing to see the full story and not just the curated perfect life. It's all ups and downs, and sometimes hard work to get up out of the downs. But that only makes it all the more worth it in the end. Thank you for your honesty, and looking forward to you smashing it at events again real soon!!

I love watching your videos while I am not riding from a spinal injury I understand how you feel like you can’t do it anymore

Meg, seriously well done, what you achieved the very next day with Lucinda, astonishing show of internal strength, and to then compete in two rounds, I salute you I really do. You have got this, your way, with whatever you need to bolster your confidence. It is hard as a follower to hear your anxiety and your upset, but you being selfless and sharing, I hope helps you, as it will others here who ride still (I am too old!), who maybe in your position, it is educational and inspirational. Dee looked after you so well. Thank you for sharing, we are all behind you, keep up the good work Meg.

the amount of praise you deserve to keep on going in the first round, that was incredible well done

Thank you for sharing this. So many of us will have shared those feelings, I certainly have. Well done and Dee is fabulous.

I am so glad that you went and had another go the next day. I know for certain that I wouldn't have done and I would have built up a fear that didn't exist. Thank you for being so honest and true to us - we all appreciate it so much. Xx

I'm so glad to see the update! Here's the thing: the mental game is really hard. I had two falls with my old mare and it took 3 years of work with wonderful coaches who understand the panic and anxiety to get to the point where I can go through a whole ride without panic. The last year (I'm 4 years out) has been wonderful and there are *still* moments when it comes back, though that's rare now. It takes time. The saying goes it takes 2,000 good experiences to cancel out ONE bad experience in your brain. Don't rush yourself, and good on you for getting help because it isn't something you can just think your way out of. You are doing great.

well done, onwards and upwards. PTSD was just like this for me but not about riding. It was following a car accident and affected all parts of my life. It does get better, keep going, get some phycological support if you can't get through it on your own. I think you are amazing and being so honest about it. xx

I admire you so much for a) getting help and b) getting back on the day after. Well done Meg!!

I have fallen off twice. The first time I was fine, and got back on a week later without being scared. I fell off a little pony 2 weeks after that fall, the day I got my new trainer. I was sore so I just sat on the mounting block and petted my pony for the rest of the lesson. This week, I tacked up and got on without being nervous but then when I started trotting I got scared, and almost started crying. I wanted to get off, but my trainer convinced me to stay on. My mom suggested a lunge, so we did that and I got my confidence back and started cantering again!!

Oh Meg well done! I could hear the tears in your voice at the start of the SJ. I’m going through a similar thing at the moment and it’s so hard. My first trip out to SJ is 8th April and I’m going to channel my inner Meg and count, and hope I have a good a round as yours x

I understand you are unsure after your fall, but also you seem to be very critical of yourself and your riding. You have clever and talented ponies who know what they are supposed to do and seem to be able to get you through the rough bits. Give yourself more credit for having the guts to do this and with more confidence you will see the benefits.

It is great to be able to hear what your next steps were❤️thanks for being so open!

I 100% understand. And I am so happy ( not happy that you were upset) but happy that for once some people can be honest about that fear that’s so hard to explain and get over sometimes. To many post nothing but the perfect, but perfect doesn’t always help others who are struggling and feel alone in how they feel. That’s great that you got help when you knew in yourself that there was an issue. That last lesson was great and you looked much more relaxed/confident 😊❤. Here’s to many more happy rides❤

Great schooling here Meg! Keep at it and the healing! You got this. Dee will take take with you! Love from California🏔️🌲🌧️💙

Very interesting watching someone else experience what I and Im sure many others have with regards to loosing confidence. Id have flashbacks to what happened every time I rode. It's a long journey. The improvement in just one video is great and Lucinda is a great coach! We are all very proud of you!!x

Oh Meggy your doing amazing a true inspiration to keep going. Never doubt! Your braver than you think❤ Anxiety is no easy hill to climb but you have amazing people around you and I’m sure you will manage to climb it! As Lucinda said “you can’t train bravery”. I’m an oxer-phobic and I am also seeking support talks to help me get over this you are amazing to be able to open up and speak about it. Keep being you! Sending positive vibes and hugs from Scotland ❤

I'm so happy with this! You're doing it! It feels weird and sometimes terrible, but you're doing it! And you got help. I hope you know how much that helps all of us. Thank you for sharing it all!! 😍😍😍

Meg well done for pushing through and doing an amazing jumping lesson after you confidence fall. You are so brave and an inspiration to me and all of your fans. You have inspired me to continue my riding journey even though I’m terrified to get on a horse. I have come so far since my confidence break because of you, thank you so much!

You should be so proud of yourself Meg. Seeing you jump beautifully the very next day is so wonderful. When I had a fall jumping. I could barely get over a pole the next few months! Well done you and of course the magnificent Dee!

Made me smile watching you Meg I know how you feel j had a rotational last year and I was really knocked you are doing amazingly I can’t believe how inspirational you are xx

Well done for pushing through that first round and your fears and nerves that will serve you well moving forward! Anyone who has ridden decent horses for any amount of time goes through this at some point the good news it getting through it will make you a better and more confident rider because of it x Remember Everything we want sits on the other side of fear and action kills fear xx

I remember balling it (crying) during a jump lesson and it wasn't even on my own horse. I have had a number of falls off my own horse jumping and it really knocked my confidence. I just kep jumping as scary as it was and we worked on control not height, put the fences down to 70 and worked on agility, figure of 8 sorta stuff.. hopefully i can do a course bigger again but take your time doing so. too quickly and you will scare yourself again. Maybe go back to that venue and do the class down and then go back a week later and put the fence up a hole. At this point try everything!

Things like what your going through are natural feelings just acting in overdrive and that's how our mind works. Our brains are wired to stop us doing something that can hurt us, but allows us to risk assess it and thus push through that self preservation. When we suffer a traumatic incident our brains will go into self protection mode and if it's severe, as in the likes of PTSD, then those feelings can override what you want to do. i,e, everything you are feeling makes sense, is understandable but your taking the right approach and will get through this. Everyone has mental health and we can have the most amazing life, but one thing can knock that off kilter, but the most important thing to remember is Firstly - You are not alone!! Many many people who have suffered a trauma will find your feelings extremely familiar!! Secondly - you got this!!

Meg, So proud of you pushing through all this. I am sure that everyone of us will be your therapists when you need us. We are all here for you, we all love and admire you and we will all keep coming back to watch because we all believe in you. Love you loads. Love to all Jill, Birmingham U.K. XXXXXXXXXX

Great job Meg I could really tell you were nervous but the fact that you still jumped the jumps makes me so proud because not many people would be brave enough to jump after that bad fall😊❤

Doing it right!!! Addressing what YOU need and working through it with the BEST supports. Off the horse and on. As you advance as a horseperson you get to a point where you disregard the learning you have done and only see the negative of what you are doing right now. That is a confidence killer. You have learned soooooo much in the last year about advanced riding and showing that you are riding with the BEST and are not used to seeing deficits in your riding by comparison to the experts you are riding with. If you were not worth the time and effort you would not be getting such great instruction by great instructors who can zero in where you need to improve. You have to remember you are GOOD because their job is to nit pick at you to get better..... take a minute to remember the joys of a good hack...enjoy a few low key rides between lessons as well as work hard on your skills when focusing on them. Balance!!!! You got this!!! BTW Dee is rounding more, has steadier canter from her rear and is jumping better because you are getting better and better despite ( maybe a bit because of) the setback. Stay amazing! You brighten my day with your efforts.

Lucinda was amazing to not put pressure on you and remind you there’s always another day! As riders we put so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect all the time and it’s just not realistic. You’re an amazing rider who’s done an amazing job at producing her! One of my most influential lessons was because I had a breakdown and I was told it was ok and to just go home to bed for the day.. I hadn’t even considered that an option before! X

I’m sure you are helping so many riders who have been through this. Never give up Meg. We’re all behind you. ❤

You inspire me so much I had a nasty fall at collage and was concussed for 3 weeks because I got thrown head first into a wall and got knocked out and now I get that heavy anxious feeling in my chest when I have to ride a collage horse and it's been 5 months now but slowly but surely getting it back

I understand I fell off a horse going over Creek one time and I think I lost some of my confidence but you’re doing a great job just keep it up

Meg I thank you so much for these videos you are so inspiring! I had a bad fall and it took me almost 10 years to ride again you are so strong!

You are doing so well Meg. I love watching your videos, I learn so much from you. I fell off my horse a few years ago and since then, even just cantering frightens me. You are such an inspiration to people like me. You are doing it and doing it so well! Well done and best wishes for the future :)

as a person who feels a lot of comfort from talking to myself and my horse as i ride i really enjoyed seeing you also use it as a method for helping boost confidence and comfortability

Great job Meg- you and Dee looked really good! Can you give us an update on Jam? Diagnosis, treatment plan, when you can start riding her again? Thanks!!

Well done Meg, you did so well. I can relate as my last horse reared over backwards with me and it just won’t go away. I kick myself all the time because I want so badly to ride but the fear is overwhelming. I think I need a confidence coach too, so thankyou for sharing the reality.

Beyond proud of you meg. So inspirational, I think what you said about it being ok to go down levels and not be ashamed was what everyone needed to hear, I think that is very key in riding. Such a person to look up to!

I really recognise your body language on the horse in those moments that your confidence goes - I could feel in my own body because it's so similar to the times I have had confidence issues

Meg that was so amazing to go from having to get off to flying over the jumps in the space of 14 hours! And then to go out competing a few weeks later! You are such an inspiration and thanks for sharing the highs and lows of your journey 💜💜🐴

It's interesting to see how much of the mental recovery is about re-learning the basics. The movement and technique issues that you are getting stuck on, are the things I struggle with as a new(ish) rider. It takes massive gonads to ask for help and then actually do the work. Well done, keep at it, and remember progress is never a straight line.

Oh Meg sweetheart, I feel you panic. I was so traumatized by the horse I owned before Lemme that I would get a rock in my stomach driving to the barn. I would cry during lessons and not be able to do anything. It was horrible! I finally just stopped lessons and went to the barn, thinking if all we do is walk around, I'm calling it a win. It took very little time and I had Lemme going really nice. His confidence grew and so did mine. I still struggle with somethings but really enjoy riding again. 😌 You'll get there. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Fantastic to see you feeling much better so quickly, well done for sticking with it and pushing through. Keep going Meg! X

Massive credit to you for doing that. Keeping yourself going when your scared is so difficult. I really liked that you had the mic on, listening to you really normalises confidence issues and how they really can affect everyone at every level. I feel like this with any jump in front of me and I thought I was just being ridiculous. Confidence issues can be crippling and I think talking/sharing etc really helps. I waffle absolute nonsense to my friend when I’m anxious riding, getting it out distracts me and helps me rationalise my thoughts xxxx

Meg, you totally rock. The brain, thoughts & emotions are so complex. PTSD is ghastly & manifests in so many different ways. I can relate reliving trauma. I'd be doing something & unexpectedly would be right back at the car accident, as if magically 'beamed' to that time, place & event. You are making amazing progress. Don't worry about times of three steps forward & occasionally 2 backwards - it's still progress. I hope the counselling allows you to be able to be present & relish those awesome moments with Dee (& all the ponies), so you can fully appreciate & enjoy the fruits of all your hard work. Dee clearly loves her job & is so extremely talented, as are you. Much love🤗❤

Meg, very proud you admitted you needed help to work through this and not giving up.

Dear Meg. So inspiring that you are so open with us, big hugs to you in this tough time. So glad you met the "wall" while you were with Lucenda so that you got the best help to get you started on getting back on top. Great to see you jumping around the next day with good help from the ground. Big hugs from Norway

Great idea asking for support from the experts and getting back for another session over jumps. The show looked great and gives you a good place to build on for your season ahead. Confidence is a very fragile thing, you’re doing amazingly!

you could almost see that big sigh of relief after the perfect hedges!

Well done Meg! You are taking amazing steps forward. Your honesty in your vlogs is just amazing and humbling. Onwards and upwards. Xx

I'm so glad you are getting some professional help to work through your issues. Well done on jumping Dee-Dee the day after and also in the Arena Eventing. Good luck and hope the confidence returns soon xxx

You go girl! What an amazing change already! You will be there befor you know!

Good on you MEG !!! Well done ! I'm so proud of you seeking help which is making a huge difference ! I'm a PTSD rider - dressage but panic attacks on top of a horse are disastrous to say the least. So happy you are getting help and look at the difference in your riding !!!

My confidence can be like a run away train with me. You did so well and I'm so proud of you reaching out for the help you needed. I wish this was more spoken about as it's so common.

i had a rotational fall few years ago and since then my confidence has never been the same . the issue is i have never faced the fear again and it hasn’t improved . so you are doing the best think possible . it takes a lot of courage xxx

I think having a professional person to help you examine your anxiety is such a good way to take care of yourself. If we just push ourselves without examining what is going on, we are digging ourselves in and creating more fear. There is a really good video on a channel called Horse Class on why we need to take some steps back sometimes. I had a friend who went to a sports psychologist after she was behind a huge crash in a cycling race. It really helped her. I certainly have talked with a counsellor for many years and it has been the best thing I ever did. It doesn't matter what you talk about either. It all comes from the same place and all boats rise with the tide! I also take medication too which has been very helpful. The two combined worked very well for me. Good for you for taking these important steps. I was watching some of your older videos and am really impressed with how much you have accomplished. You should be too!