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What Happens When An Addicted Loved One Refuses Treatment 

Put The Shovel Down
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We tackle the essential steps to take to encourage your addicted family member to seek professional help, ranging from fostering open communication to researching suitable addiction treatment options. Discover proven strategies that have helped others break through the barriers of denial and begin their path to recovery.
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13 сен 2023

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Комментарии : 45   
@cathie1234
@cathie1234 10 месяцев назад
I told my son that I love him dearly and when he wants help I’ll be glad to help him get there. He doesn’t live with me but there’s so many unknowns. He so secretive. No ultimatum. Still painful.
@rythmjunky5292
@rythmjunky5292 10 месяцев назад
Just found your channel. My partner of 13 years refuses to admit he has a problem with alcohol. I should have left years ago,but I kept hoping. He’s a master at stringing me along with the carrot on the stick. I’m exhausted and don’t sleep. I need to leave but I’m isolated from friends and family and have no support network to rely on. I keep setting my resolve and freezing. I can’t stand to be around him anymore,and cringe when he tries to touch me(there’s been major boundary violations over the years). I know I need help,too. But don’t even know where to start. I grew up with an alcoholic parent,and I’m embarrassed to admit I didn’t recognize the signs of him being an addict until recently. I have my own issues,too,obviously. I’m glad I found your channel. It’s the first glimpse of hope I’ve had in a long,long time. Now to figure out how to get myself out of here.
@PutTheShovelDown
@PutTheShovelDown 10 месяцев назад
Sorry you're going through all that, but I'm glad you're here. Welcome to our little community.
@LisaGoncalves-cb9te
@LisaGoncalves-cb9te 7 месяцев назад
Hi. 12 years married to an alcoholic here. I feel you. I am done but cannot leave as we he is the bread winner and we have children. I don't earn enough to leave and have nowhere to go. It is so heart wrenching. I also dont sleep. It is so exhausting. Sending love and understanding. We are not alone.
@polarbearsrus6980
@polarbearsrus6980 6 месяцев назад
Only one person can make your life better and it's not your partner. You may have very low self esteem. Please seek counseling. You deserve a better life.🤔
@righteousmonkey
@righteousmonkey 10 месяцев назад
Amber, you're dropping mega gems (as always). As an addict in recovery I can relate to everything you've said. It's amazing the things you know about us. I feel so vulnerable right now. Lol! jk. Keep on doing what you're doing because you're truly making a difference. I hope people listen to this more than once because there's so much truth being spoken. 🙏
@PutTheShovelDown
@PutTheShovelDown 10 месяцев назад
Thank you so much for the positive feedback. I feel so validated!!!! 😁😁😁😁😁
@righteousmonkey
@righteousmonkey 10 месяцев назад
@@PutTheShovelDown You’re official! Ha haa! 🥇
@jennyvanderhoff2663
@jennyvanderhoff2663 10 месяцев назад
After he flatly denied addiction, lost his job and was also on Xanax as well as alcohol- I locked him up in ‘my own’ rehab. He’s sober a year later, hates me and we’re getting divorced.
@maydonegan2372
@maydonegan2372 10 месяцев назад
This is almost exactly what happened to me
@sharonb.7867
@sharonb.7867 10 месяцев назад
I am so sorry. . .my heart hurts for you ❤😢!
@roberjordal00
@roberjordal00 9 месяцев назад
💔
@BeegirlsHoneyHouse
@BeegirlsHoneyHouse 6 месяцев назад
Natural consequences aren’t beautiful to behold… Power and peace to you.🌎🫶🏼🕊
@polarbearsrus6980
@polarbearsrus6980 6 месяцев назад
Good, you deserve better.
@annmelanie1513
@annmelanie1513 10 месяцев назад
My son had agreed to help. Upon checking he said he was doing it for family not himself. They refused him because of that
@PutTheShovelDown
@PutTheShovelDown 10 месяцев назад
😮😫
@allisonb.8492
@allisonb.8492 10 месяцев назад
YESSSS AMBER. 100% ITS THE CHAOSSS!
@irisscreativehints3899
@irisscreativehints3899 10 месяцев назад
He is very proud and I think that is the problem. I now believe that he just can’t do it. He tells me he hates his life. I’m so afraid of suicidal
@bananabep
@bananabep 10 месяцев назад
Thanks to so many counselors who tell parents to put their child on the streets because he/ she has to go rock bottom.
@stephaniesmith5974
@stephaniesmith5974 9 месяцев назад
Thanks!
@PutTheShovelDown
@PutTheShovelDown 9 месяцев назад
Wow! Thank you so much, Stephanie! 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
@judisamoisette1258
@judisamoisette1258 10 месяцев назад
It works , allow them how to figure it out
@oodleyboo
@oodleyboo 10 месяцев назад
Hi Amber, I'm so grateful for your videos❤️ Thank You. My 25yo son agreed to go to a treatment facility. After one week, he wanted to come home. Definitely a long time before the program complete. Of course they had to let him go, and he came home and relapsed heavily within a few months. What choice do we as parents have in this situation?
@polarbearsrus6980
@polarbearsrus6980 6 месяцев назад
You have to make him get out of your home. Why would he change if you allow him to continue to make you miserable?Are you enabling his behavior? Just a thought...
@ninajustiniano9055
@ninajustiniano9055 10 месяцев назад
My son in law is a nasty alcoholic, verbally abuse, DWI, I cut him off, I'm done
@louisemartin5378
@louisemartin5378 10 месяцев назад
What about if you asked them to leave before you found out about the addiction? - I put up with verbal, financial and emotional abuse for years and decided no more for the kids and I - only to find out later that meth was the reason behind the major character/behaviour changes ? We have very limited communication now
@PutTheShovelDown
@PutTheShovelDown 10 месяцев назад
You should never put up with abuse, no matter if there is an addiction or not.
@louisemartin5378
@louisemartin5378 10 месяцев назад
@@PutTheShovelDown I know - I’m am working with a counsellor to get my self value back - but as far as the marriage almost 20 years it’s destroyed by lies deception cheating and manipulation- what do I do from this point
@bananabep
@bananabep 10 месяцев назад
Sometimes they don't even go through fases of trying to control it at all.
@sarommean2138
@sarommean2138 3 месяца назад
I cant have them in my house because im an addict myself and they are risking my sobriety, so what should i do?
@JAMN2GD
@JAMN2GD 9 месяцев назад
Oh Gosh Beth. Of course not. They will say anything you want them to say. Just to make you feel better. Honest and transparency. Oh lord. Unfortunately you will hear that for years until truly they are ready to stop. You will never be told the truth. They will be intoxicated and lie to your face. I feel you can give up on that one.
@Saddling
@Saddling 8 месяцев назад
I relapsed after 30 days of rehab for my bulimic food addiction and my parents are so pissed but they and I are at loss for what should be done next. As soon as I wake up I want to do it I can’t even think about anything else and nothing else makes me happy. I hate my mind.
@lenorepaletta9267
@lenorepaletta9267 2 месяца назад
Please run out and get the book. Brain Over Binge. It’s life changing.
@lenorepaletta9267
@lenorepaletta9267 2 месяца назад
You unknowingly triggered your survival instinct by restricting food. It’s the initial restriction of food that can set up a vulnerable person to binge on highly palatable food to get calories into the body as quickly as possible. The book explains how to get out of this cycle.
@irisscreativehints3899
@irisscreativehints3899 10 месяцев назад
My 46 year old son has been living with me for 13 years with this addiction of drugs . I have try so many times to help him. He’s been living in a trailer outside of my home in the driveway. He has made an effort and has gone to inpatient rehabilitation. It has not worked. We don’t have the money to send him to a good place cause the insurance, he’s on husky. The places that took him were just terrible!! I love him because I know he’s a good person but I just can’t take the stress n his paranoia when he is high. I don’t want to evict him but I have no choice
@PutTheShovelDown
@PutTheShovelDown 10 месяцев назад
There comes a time when you have to take care of yourself.
@polarbearsrus6980
@polarbearsrus6980 6 месяцев назад
DO it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It might be the thing that wakes him up. You have to take care of yourself. Good luck.🤒
@user-qk5vg7zr5j
@user-qk5vg7zr5j 10 месяцев назад
i love ur videos, u are so dead on. BUT what if u have tried all that stuff and its to the point where they are too strung out on fentanyl and meth that they dont care about anything at all, they take advantage and everything ends up a revolving cycle and at this point hes gonna od if i leave him completely alone since ive made him leave because it was out of haND AND I REFUSE TO HAVE FENTANYL IN MY HOME WITH MY KIDS AND BABIES? oops caps
@PutTheShovelDown
@PutTheShovelDown 10 месяцев назад
Once it gets to that point, you have to protect yourself and your kids!
@annmelanie1513
@annmelanie1513 10 месяцев назад
Fenbendazole for pet cancer
@dilmohmad-vu4rv
@dilmohmad-vu4rv 10 месяцев назад
Ilovemyfriend
@melanielutchman9484
@melanielutchman9484 10 месяцев назад
I've tried everything for 7 years. The only thing that's left is for me to do is be locked up in a cage where he has me all the time that's when he is the happiest
@PutTheShovelDown
@PutTheShovelDown 10 месяцев назад
Even though I talk about what's best for the addicted person in these videos, that doesn't mean I'm saying you should stay in a bad situation. Please take care of yourself.
@polarbearsrus6980
@polarbearsrus6980 6 месяцев назад
@@PutTheShovelDown I think you need to focus more on that exact point.
@trollsnotwelcome7805
@trollsnotwelcome7805 10 месяцев назад
But they will reply that they don't know what you are talking about? That it's you who is the problem, just leave them alone and all would be fine.
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