You remind me I'm allowed to be myself while breaking generational trauma cycle. Gentle parenting does not mean I have to be a soft person, just flexible.
I grew up with the former style of parenting. I think it made me more sensitive and worried, even though my mom had the best of intentions and a ton of love. I'll be aiming for the latter style when I have kids
@@ashlynnheller8400 My other family members would say that as well! They act so scared and worried and tell me that they will have to amputated. I was a gullible kid and also got scared until I grew older🤭
I read an article ages ago that said to use "be safe" instead of "be careful" because kids who are overly cautious often distrust themselves and get hurt more often. At this point, I tell my toddler "that is unsafe" and she bursts into tears lol Like "thanks killjoy, I knew it was unsafe, but I was having fun and now you're onto me and I'm not having fun."
@@aaasht2606 same lol 23 & anxiety ridden because between all the adults that raised me they were literally afraid of everything. Trying to raise my own tint people to not be afraid is pushing me out of all comfort zones lol
@@lilackuki I can't remember, I can't remember a LOT. Turned out to be disassociation and at least one of the two was *pretending* to have munschausens by proxy. She lied about the other person so much that I still can't figure that deal yet 30 + years least. She says that I'm blaming her for everything that's happened to me. If I blamed her for EVERYTHING that's her fault she'd better be sleeping with one eye open and importing an illegal second amendment...
When my daughter gets hurt she tells me “we need to amputate”. Maybe I shouldnt have asked her that too many times when she was little but it is pretty funny hearing her 4 year old voice say it whenever there is a minor owwie
this is so funny because we’ve got old tapes of me saying something along the lines of “we need to cut it off” after any inconvenience,, including a headache
I did the same thing with my kids. I would tell them something like "oh no! Quick, cut your toe off! It is broken! We're gonna replace it with a piece of macaroni!" I'd scoop them up and run around like we were rushing off to the hospital, keeping it lighthearted and silly. And they would laugh and forget about their pain. Even now that they're older, we still say we're gonna amputate, but its evolved into that dry teenage sarcasm. They just smile that sweet "I'm comforted" smile, the one that says all is right with the world, and the one that reminds me maybe I haven't done such a bad job. Thanks for bringing those memories to the forefront of my brain 😊
I think it was destruct-o boy as in destroying stuff though if he's not letting you work on the computer he could be distract-o boy lol. Either way all 3 are kinda perfect lol
Yeah. I like the second one. My son managed to split his head open on the toy box, bled everywhere of course. He's crying because it obviously hurts. We clean up his head a bit and take him to the hospital for stitches and we didn't even have to say it. All he says is, 'the toy box bit me. I didn't like that. I don't want to do that again.' thankfully he said that in front of the doctor too.
The toy box bit me 🤣 I'm deceased. I've always been over dramatic so every little ouch is normally I'm dying, at the same time big ouches are also I'm dying. I've stubbed my toe and told my mom the furniture attacked me and I'm almost 20 its such a fun way to express yourself. Told my mother yesterday morning that the scratch on my face was from my nightstand face planting into me. 😂
I *REALLY* like the way you approach parenting. Talking to kids like they are people and not just little kids, is so so very important for their continuity.
A babysitter vs a parent. A babysitter comes prepared with all sorts of cute ideals and fun ways of saying things, as a parent I can confidently say water and "rub it, that'll help it feel better" solves 85% of my kids injuries.
My cats know that if they run from the dog then the dog will chase them. My dogs also know that they get too close to the cats then they get a swat on the nose. After a few supervise interactions the cats and the dogs pretty much live in peace together.
@Anon Omus yup. I've done it with my dog. She got to close to one older dog and got told off. I simply went: harley that wasn't a good choice now you got told off..." or "well you were told not to dumb@@@ now you are trying to hide behind me "
That’s how I’m. If their not bleeding and don’t need to go to the hospital “that’s what you get for not listening, and not March your little but up to your room.” Their room is their time out place.
I love that every time one of your kids gets hurt or upset you ask them to take a drink of water. This is actually such an effective strategy that we talk about it in psychology class. They can’t cry if they’re drinking water and it gives them time to calm down and reflect on what’s happening.
I need to do this more often (drink water if I feel stress) it doesn't just stop crying - it also stops hyperventilating and water is just good for you!
We didn't use words like safe choices and things when I was raising mine. When he did something? I would say did that hurt? He would say yes! I said are you going to do it again? No. That's my idea of responsive training.
Lmao i use "what did you learn?" My hubby got me saying that because every time I wasn't paying attention and hurt myself because of my choices he'd say "what did you learn" long before we had our first child.
Omg, I was raised by my great aunt and uncle because of my mother's health issues, but I'd visit her, and I remember her saying that exact thing when I banged my head on the coffee table while visiting her XD
Yeah I was thinking, there are a LOT of words and phrases in this that I've never heard... And why water? Why do parents always make their kids drink water when they get upset? If I was crying and I told my mom I was thirsty, she would literally say "Hi thirsty I'm mom, nice to meet you" or some sarcastic crap😂 The 1900s were brutal coming up, but I wouldn't have had it any other way.
Any parent that completely changes their personality and the way they talk around their children gives me the chills. Maybe because that was my mom. I’m so glad you show your kids who you actually are.
I love the “have a drink of water” in your videos iv only seen 2 but this promotes very good healthy lifestyle decisions, water is gods gift to us and the most satisfying refreshing drink, put ice in it cold water tastes even better and jump starts your digestive system especially in the morning
I've always heard (luke)warm water to get started in the morning. But 💯 agree!! I drink water to combat spice, to calm down, have time to think my response through, .... The list goes on and on; a sip of water can be such a useful tool! :D
Yeah and a way better thing to teach your kids to do than have sugary things 😅 I watched an episode of Supernanny where the mum gave them candy when they were in pain/upset and that just taught the kids that throwing a tantrum or acting like you have a booboo=candy
Marshmallow yes pop and sugar will kill you and rot your teeth i pray for children as they are the people of tommorow only they can transform what past generations have turned civilization into, especially canada pray for canada get the liberals out of office stop communism this isnt cuba
At some point, after 3-4 warnings to the 3 yr old being met with spit and a foot stomp I just let the kid get hurt... sometimes they have to learn the hard way 🤷🏿♀️
I've watched quite a few of your vids and bless your lucky children. You are going to be their person for life. If ever you have the thought of "am I doing this right?" You are. 100% Even when you aren't, you are.
I always told my child, and his friends, that if they keep that up it’s going to hurt. I will help them only after I finish laughing cause I know it’s going to make their face look funny. I then did just that. They always listened to me whenever I made that comment.
“Bleeding broken or dying” was my moms go-to phrase growing up to determine whether or not our “booboos” were a big deal. Makes me happy to hear that checklist from someone else
Thank you for making videos like this, alot of new parent are coming up and they don't know how to do squat... I hope many more parents watch your videos and we can get a decent generation again. 👍
You helped me realize thats how my Parents raised me. Thats wholesome. "If you do that, its gonna hurt!" "Are you Okay? See, thats why we don't do that. Be more careful next time." 10/10
Definitely was the gentle parent for the first two years of my youngests life. Now he’s 28-29 months and he’s learning for himself! God the cry face is so adorably sad! But there’s no crying in hockey and he’s got to toughin’ up!!
My dad: are you broken? Me: yea Him: are you bleeding? Me: yea Him: are you still alive? Me: yea Him: you will live Me: btc wtf i just went crashing into a hill on my bike
Underated comment for sure 😝, you should read the comments I left. I don't know what came over me, but EVERYTIME I finished posting a comment, I thought of another weird thing to comment on. I left like 3 comments and I have never seen her before until yesterday 🤜🏼😵🤜🏼🌚🤙✌️🖖
@@OoFaeHeartoO I have hobbies. Because I disagree with a "content creator", I don't have any hobbies. How about you get a hobby and some new hair. Baby girl, your hair is giving me red straw.
@@OoFaeHeartoO also what do you think having a fae heart even means. I don't need a definition for far. But why would you name yourself fae heart. WEIRD 😬
That is THE BEST "you're my children and I love you but that was so damn funny I can barely stifle this laugh", laugh stifle I've ever seen. Parent level -expert 🤣🤣
I cannot stress enough how similar we are in parenting style! Practically word for word! I just watched your short about whether you let your kids cuss and I am completely on the same page. I love watching your videos because you make me feel like a normal mom. Thank you!!
When we would trip as kids my mom would tell us to apologize to the floor. It made most of us giggle but my older sister would get so mad lol. I remember someone talking about that fact that by emphasizing that you "know it hurts a lot" or anything similar you're signaling to the child that they really should be upset and it just makes them cry more. Kids have enough anxiety without grownups emphasizing every emotion they're trying to work through.
I used get annoyed with the "just go get a drink of water" reaction (mostly bc it was my teachers saying it 24/7) but now it's pretty much my go-to coping method for when I'm upset
This cracks me up. I don't have kids yet, but I work with them. When I first started I definitely thought that this is how I would treat them. Boy was I wrong! 🤣
Lol the stifled laughter when the kid hurts themselves...I can relate, sometimes it's very comedic when they bounce then roly poly and fall all over themselves trying to get back up
An reminds me of when I was a child and I was doing unsafe things, my parents doesn't really stop me, instead the let me continue until I inevitably hurt myself. After some light-hearted teasing and some sarcasm, they sit me down with the "What do we learn? " talk
Dude, I am the same damn way. I love watching your videos because I seriously have the same attitude towards parenting. It's really refreshing to see I'm not alone. Thanks for these. ❤️
My mom would always laugh when i got hurt. As long as it wasn't bad injury she would laugh it off, give ma hug and a kiss and send me on my way. It didn't damage me emotionally and it helped me learn the difference between actually being hurt and just looking for attention.
My parents didn’t always get this right, but definitely how they let us learn to make our own mistakes and that listening to them might be a good idea. Their favourite saying was “is it bleeding, broken, or protruding through the skin?“ if not, then we’re fine. We can have a hug if we need it.
