What Is A Spoonie? // The Spoon Theory 

You have a very expressive face and it is easy to watch you talk. I am hard of hearing, 70% deaf in left ear, 80% deaf in right ear and I have not very good at lip reading. I use ASL and watch body language and facial expressions to help keep up with conversations. Your videos are very enjoyable.

"Guys, I washed! Give me an award." Same. Saaaaaame.

I don't have an energy related disability, but I do use the spoonie theory sometimes. With my ADHD I see the amount of controllable focus I have as my spoons. Medication, positive reinforcement, good sleep, and atmosphere can increase my spoons or make them last longer. Also having to force myself to focus on things when I've run out of focus spoons then it drains my energy very quickly. It's like w/out medication have 7 normal focus spoons and 3 backup spoons that drain my energy. On medication I have 15-20 normal focus spoons and like 1.5 backup energy spoons (medication uses a lot of energy) When I hyperfocuses i use one spoon and makes it last like 5 or 10 spoons. It's like a Mario rainbow star powerup.

I have major depressive disorder and the spoon theory describes my energy. Like just getting out of bed requires so much from me and then to go shopping or to a family event takes like 2 or 3 spoons. and it sucks because sometimes my mom asks if I wanna do something with the family over the weekend but I say no because I know by that day I wont have energy to go, I wont want to get dressed and leave the house, etc.

I have clinical depression so some days I start out with 30 spoons and sometimes with literally 2. I have never thought of myself as having a disability but from that aspect I guess I do. Taking meds does stabilize the amount of energy I have in general but unfortunately there are days when no matter how much motivation I have (if I have any) I can't bring myself to leave the house or deal with another person or even washing my teeth. Maybe that doesn't justify as being disabled but I definitely understand what this is about and I relate

I have to thank you for posting this. I have two disabled friends and although I feel like I often understand this helped me understand better what it's like for them.

I know I’m really late but I have Crohn’s disease and I never knew I could use the term spoonie (I thought it was just for those with chronic fatigue syndrome) but it fits so perfectly with how I feel. It’s currently 4:30am, I finished the day on no spoons and now I can’t sleep even though I’m exhausted. I’m worried now because I have school tomorrow but I don’t know if I’ll have enough spoons to make it through. Being chronically ill is such an effort that people don’t even see. It’s very frustrating at times.

The issue I have is that I don't know how many spoons I start the day with... like I know that taking a shower takes energy and walking to the train station does and I know I have to sleep after work but I don't know how many things I can do before I just crash... which is a slight issue

I have a chronic illness. I had never heard of this before but this totally described how I feel. Holy crap.

When you're not technically counted as disabled, but definitely have Mary AND Alice days (severe ankle, back, tendon problems) and this is just the best video you've found to describe it... Some days I can do everything I want to do, and so I am Mary and I clean my room, go to work, get things done and can still go out and about (these are rare days). A lot of my days are not Mary days; they are Alice days or somewhere in between where I have to use my cane or the little electric cart and I get looked at in that way that says "well, you're young, you don't need this." But... I do. I do.

I love how you explained that! Many people seem to forget to mention the difference in the amount of energy things can take for spoonies and non-spoonies.

I love that you used the Sims! Very entertaining! I'm not a spoonie but I'm definitely not as high functioning as Mary either! When it's the weekend and I will be going out, I find myself holing up in my room doing nothing for the whole of the rest of the time. Will aim to be more Mary in the future.

This is incredibly helpful as far as explaining my energy levels. I can only do "active" things early in the day, and people have a hard time believing that I can do something at 8:00 AM that I cannot do at 4:00 PM.

I really love your hair. You do deserve an award! And yes this kind of describes how I go from day to day. Sometimes I'm still baffled that people like Mary exist like she used up so few spoons. I can start the day with 30 spoons but they're just so quickly depleted. Mine's not exactly how many spoons I start with but that just I deplete them very rapidly, using multiple spoons for a simple task (though there are days I wake up with very few spoons).

I don't ever use the term spoonie to describe myself because I don't feel like i have 'enough' health issues to. My illness is treatable but permanent, and I have definitely felt better since starting treatment. I thought it was interesting however to think about how the number of spoons people have can vary from day to day! Some days I have 25 spoons, other days I have 15! And it can be really hard to know what kind of day it's going to be until you're almost out of spoons, and you suddenly NEED to nap and/or you take that accessible seat on the bus.. and let people glare at you... because you 'look fine, but you know you really need to sit down. Always hoping for a Mary day!

As a fellow spoonie, here's an award for your gorgeous hair and the rest of your consistently amazing look! That's a lot of work, time, energy, and potentially pain. I am impressed by your effort!

I have OCD and ADD. one thing I use to explain it is like having 10 staticy radios on at the same time and trying to understand what they all are saying at the same time. all while trying to look like not putting that much effort into it. Then you add in all the OCD craziness and trying not to have meltdowns in front of people.

It's funny because as I'm watching this, I'm laying in bed after eating breakfast, trying to get enough energy to shower

I am glad I found this. I've been chronically ill since birth and I always had the worst time trying to describe what was going on with me. People used to think I just avoided going out because I was "depressed". Amazing!

I heard about this theory a while ago and I love it. I don't actually count spoons but it helps me figure out what priorities to spend energy on.

important point - about spoon theory-if you go over, you can spend days weeks or months with say 3 instead of 25 spoons...so the "just push yourself" group don't realise. if you can do something one day-they think youre being over-sensitive and psychosomatic if you can't do it the next-they don't get that doing it on day 1 is WHY you can't do it on day 2. "but you transferred fine earlier so i know you can do it"-yeah-earlier! aargh. i am CONSTANTLY told about how i should "build myself up" by exersising..by family and friends-if you dont use it youll lose it-no i DID use it and now ive lost it because i used it. one particularly horrendous A&E visit had a nurse who forced me to get on a bed that was too high despite me saying i can't..then came back in put the bed down after theyd helped me-"to teach me a lesson" or "stop being silly" i guess. it' then was brutal while taking blood..ive not gone since despite many times being advised to. Its not the first time ive encountered passive-aggressive medical staff. ive been told to "see things and hear things" when i had a 9 month migraine i ended up at neurology for, or the physio after my accident that kept making me do stuff "out of curiosity" that would hurt me to do with legs when it was my back that was injured..and when making small talk asked me how i visited firends or family..i mean wtf. Why do ordinary people or even low end professionals in the medical field declare themselves the disability mafia/police and it is not easy doing life when you have to calculate your spoons during every interaction and task, instead of listening to someone youre thinking "ok i have x amount of seconds more before i collapse" if youdo anything without chair family say "oh you dont even need it". its been decades and no amount of explaining has changed things. In fact, theyre response is "we all get tired".."so i understand" yeah but i bet you dont get trapped in rooms cos you cant turn the door handle?or unable to tank your car?

I have severe chronic pain as well as clinical depression and this theory made sense. I sent this to my partner because it directly relates to a conversation we had the other day. There are days when just getting out of bed is a major accomplishment. Pain makes me dizzy and nauseous if I'm on my feet for more than 5-10 minutes.

I'm intrigued as to your opinion on whether someone w/ mental health disorders could use the term spoonie? This more or less entirely determines how my life is because my energy can be Mary one day and Alice the next so yhh, idk. Just wondered if someone who uses it could have give me an opinion on this 👌

Hi Jessica, I really liked your description of the spoon theory! I have cystic fibrosis but don't use the term 'spoonie' very often, mostly because all my friends and family already know how much energy I have per day and can tell when I need to rest. If I overtire myself and run out of spoons then I get a terrible headache and can't sleep which seems strange because I am really tired.

Wanted to mention....spoon theory and spoonie don't just apply to physical disability. Major Depressive Disorder here, so......yeah. Yep. I wouldn't say I'm disabled, though. I would say that the combination of MDD and PTSD affects every aspect of my life and it makes my life fucking complicated and some days it's just difficult getting out of bed. And that doesn't even include or account for the Vertigo and slight hearing loss. Sighs.

I dunno if spoonie applies to me but I have an anxiety disorder (social and general) and depression. It's a fairly common combination but it's a bit like being pulled apart by two opposing forces. If I spend time resting to regain the energy my depression drains then I become increasingly anxious that I am not doing 'enough', not 'good enough', etc and will get all the fun physical symptoms like nausea, headaches, inability to sleep, racing heart, etc. Which make me even more anxious because obviously I must be dying if I feel this sick. If I don't rest enough to feed both my activities and depression then I crash and burn and will be unable to do anything for days. I can get up to go to the toilet. That's all. Which is often accompanied by those wonderful thoughts depression brings. Like I'll amount to nothing anyway so why bother? Nothing seems to recharge me except lying in bed doing absolutely nothing. I am getting help. I am on medication, regular check ups and doing behaviour therapy stuff (attempting to stimulate the brains production of 'happy hormones' through altering behaviours and habits). But it's difficult to distinguish being actually recharged and just being on my way to a panic attack and it's difficult to ever predict which side is winning the tug of war. This was a very useful video though. I think I understand the concept better now.

Youre gay, vintage, a disabled RU-vidr, AND you play the Sims 2? AH you're the perfect youtuber

This is amazing! I love how you used Sims to explain spoons to everyone. As a spoonie, Alice was super relatable. You just want to be able to do all the things you’re supposed to do but you...can’t? Tiring, frustrating, and then you have to explain to people that you’re tired from a disability they can’t see :( But I’m so glad you exist and are educating people on these important topics! You’re great! 😄

This helped make everything so clear! I struggle with this weird, loopy combination of terrible insomnia, chronic fatigue, adhd, and anxiety and its always been really hard for me to describe how hard it can be for me to find the energy to do simple things without compromising the rest of my day. Im going to try to show this to some of my family- thank you!

As soon as I saw Spoon Theory mixed with Sims I leapt to this video. You are a wizard Jessica. Always wonderful. I love the videos of the sims hahahahaha xxx

I’m not disabled but, this really resonated with me. I’ve experienced depression my entire life along with many problems sleeping and things such as going into public and being in social situations do seem to “take my spoons” in a way that I’m absolutely exhausted. And this is an excellent metaphor, thank you!

I have an autoimmune disease, and a cocktail of mental health disorders (MD, Generalised Anxiety Disorder, Depression) so almost everything takes spoons. Showering hurts, going into public is terrifying, being around people is terrifying, being alone is terrifying, MD makes people annoyed at me. I try to be more positive, and seeing a disabled person with such a lovely attitude really helps me have a good outlook on life. Your videos have really made an impact on me. You have much worse disability than me, and doing things i take for granted are difficult for you so to see you in a good mood is incredibly inspiring! Thank you.

I am perfectlly healthy, i have a boyfriend, an excellent familly, a great education, i should have all those spoons. But i have a severe anxiety disorder this last year and i feel that my spoons are not enough to get me through the day. And i feel so bad about that, there are people with serious problems and i can't even find what causes me this reaction, i don't know why i feel so exhausted doing the smallest task. Your videos really make me stand up and start living! Seeing someone with a very challenging life, smilling ,is the wake up call we all need.

Well I feel out of the loop! I've had CFS/ME for 3 years (plus a recently developed immune disorder) and have never heard of the spoon theory before. While not a perfect metaphor/theory as you mentioned, it does seem like a good way to explain it to people who don't have chronic health issues. I find a lot of people have a hard time grasping the implications of CFS/ME on everyday life and brush it off as the same as "normal" fatigue. I have at least one friend who constantly tries to get me to do more than I physically can, which is incredibly frustrating, so I will be sure to share your video with them :)

Jessica! I just found this three years later as I just got diagnosed with autism and suddenly the term spoonie and this video popped up in my head! So I’m back and YES this explains so much. Thank you 😊

I was so happy when I found out about the spoonie theory, it makes it much more harmless and easy to tell my close ones why I'm saying no to things sometimes and why I just flat out pass out and sleep for 16 hours sometimes. Especially my boyfriend finds it very helpful to be able to have a guestimated number off spoons in the particular day or to calculate plans and idea when he knows if I'm in a "just bought a big box of cutlery from ikea" or "using that leftover plastic yoghurt spoon and a salad scooper" period. It's so much easier to say "I used up some of todays spoons yesterday" rather than "I grossly miscalculated how much I can take on and now all I wanna do is sleep and cry because I feel like I can't do all the things I want"

I was involved in a motorcycle accident in 2005 and sustained a very serious spinal cord injury, I also have fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue and chronic migraines along with arthritis and blood clots in my lungs and a heart condition.... Did I mention I am only 39 years old?!?!? You and your story resonates very loudly with me on so many levels... I use a walker, wheelchair and walking stick. I live in Ohio, U.S.A. and I really love how with all of your "catalogs" as we call them in our family,you stay so positive and upbeat. I look forward to seeing your videos and have been watching them all the time. Thank you for making me feel "normal". I can relate to so much of your afflictions and understand them completely. You are an inspiration and again I thank you... I also love your tutorials and your knowledge of a bygone era that I wish more people would have learned from

I don't think I'd use the term ever, but I do relate to this. I've been struggling with burnout and anxiety for the past two years and it has slightly similar limitations, though I think it's more to do with motivation than energy, really. I've been having to build up daily tasks from scratch again, and though I've finally managed to make "brush my teeth" consistent and manage to only skip one class a week (trying to get this down to zero!), showers, meals, sleeping, cleaning, exercise, and any sort of social or outside activity is still a struggle. Also, I would like to say that I discovered your channel a week ago, and it's brought me much needed information, some joy, and entertainment. Especially your videos about deafness - I have a whole friend group in the deaf community, and it's helped me understand some things and how I can change myself.

I use this concept with my clients (OT) all the time but more in terms of a bucket or glass of water (ex. Sleep fills the bucket, making the bed empties it). OT talks about saving energy as “energy conservation” if you want to look up details. It’s helpful for everything from MS to introverts managing “social energy” cost/benefits. My focus is always helping people find what “fills their bucket” or in your term “gets more spoons”. Also, thank you as always for being you

I love this theory explains so much. I’ve tried using it a few times. Sometimes you have to remind people but it really helps.

The spoonies community has helped me so much to learn how to better use my time and prove to me that my illnesses are not my fault. I have chronic insomnia and depression with lots of fatigue and aches and pains. I have sinus issues that make it hard for me to hear people clearly. The spoonie community is a blessing on those hard days.

It's very saddening how relatable this explanation is to me. I cried because it's summarized a lot of my energy or should I say lack of energy problems. People who don't have a hard time staying awake ALL day, don't get post-exertional malaise, don't feel winded after only doing some dishes and nothing else, usually don't understand what it's like to be sick and have less spoons. I think this is one of the best explanations for those trying to understand themselves better and also for those who thankfully do not suffer with these issues. Edit: Changed post exercise malaise to post-exertional malaise (PEM)

I have bad back pain but have never really had a named "disability" however I stick to the spoon theory and often find that I have to plan days and weeks in advance as I can wipe myself out of energy. I often get comments that I look exhausted and like I burn myself out whereas it just that my spoons are low and that I need to go home and rest. I have never found a way to recover spoons but I work as a camera operator and I know that if I have a days shoot I will need to give my self a full day without spoons after to recover. Great video on the spoon theory and well explained! Thank you. Was trying to explain to a friend and they found this video really easy to understand.

I have only recently heard of the spoon theory and your video really helped me understand it. I have never thought of it like that but I can relate. I'm 23 and my energy levels are nowhere near that of my peers. I am diabetic and also anemic and I can never get a good night's sleep. I never understand people who say that they wake up in the morning feeling refreshed because I don't know what that feels like. For me going to taking a shower, getting dressed and going to classes is a productive day. Discovering your channel really has made me feel understood. You are a gem! Everything that comes out of your mouth sounds poetic :) Also, you are gay so that's a plus! I am bisexual and it always makes me very excited to see wlw RU-vidrs.

I use Spoon Theory to explain my Depression/Anxiety/Autism/Gastro issues not letting me do things that I would like to. On a normal day I tend to have about 20 spoons, but since I got my gallbladder out I am down to about 10 spoons until I heal more. I had friends visit to check on my yesterday. They were wonderful and did what they could to not steal all my spoons, though I still had to take time out at the end to regain spoons. Your analogy to a Sims life is very accurate for me. Also, thank you for choosing to share your lives with us. Your voice is soothing for me and helps me gain spoons. Please remember that you are worthy of praise and happiness, and I wish you and Claudia the best. -Dawn

Wow definitely this makes sense, such a good metaphor. Wow having so much energy like Mary. It is amazing how much energy some people have.

My husband and I have used the Sims energy bars for shorthand to explain where we are for years, even long after we stopped playing! I kind of expected to see their bars in relation to the spoons, but I imagine it would be hard or even perhaps not currently possible to set Sims up to have such varied needs for the point of this video. But wouldn't it be a lovely exercise in empathy if we could!?! And for all I know they have made them more inclusive recently. That would be delightful. Thank you for sharing this. And I'm glad you at least gave her beautiful hair! I had wondered how you managed to keep yours so very impressive even before seeing how hard something some may assume as "simple" as a shower is for you. And what's fascinating to me is I know those with such similar struggles for entirely different reasons. Thanks for making our world more empathetic. I adore you and your videos.

Thank you SO much for your time and videos! We have many of the same illnesses and you're more pleasant (by far) than I am. Whenever I need to explain something to people I grab the appropriate video from you and share with them. Some days attempts at explaining to others takes 5 spoons.

I just recently identified as disabled for the first time at work, and got immediately told that 'you're so young', as though that matters. I have fibro and CFS, and I empathize with Alice so much. Your videos are always lovely to watch, and so validating.

I think the Spoon Theory is a great way to explain to others about daily life with chronic illnesses, autoimmune diseases, and disabilities. For myself, with 2 (possibly 3 - that's in the works right now) chronic illnesses that are autoimmune disorders, I like Building a Ladder as I find I sometimes overestimate or underestimate my energy levels. Building a ladder keeps me going and appropriately pushing myself while still caring for myself, which as someone who has invisible illnesses is important. It shouldn't be - people shouldn't care how much I do or don't in a day - but it is. With spoons sometimes I give myself too many and end up in situations where I should really just be in bed, asleep, but instead I'm with a group of energetic people st a party and now they're bummed I'm so exhausted. But I'm just me and everyone is different.

4 years later I still send this video to new friends to explain what I mean when I say "I'm out of spoons"

I have ADHD and the spoons theory has proved to be a very good way to explain to myself and others how my energy and focus levels work. Mostly, I find that I have a time limit to get things done during the day. On a bad day, if something hasn't been done by 4pm, it's not happening. On other days it might be 6 or 7pm, and sometimes even later. For me, washing up after meals is a massive spoon-suck, but the earlier I do it in the day, the better. If I do it at 5pm, it might take 2 spoons, but if I do it at 8pm, or 9pm, it could be as much as 5 or 6 spoons. I generally have fairly decent work-arounds for protecting my spoons, but they're not infallible, or completely predictable. Things that might take 2 spoons on one day, can take 5 on another.

The spoon theory is a helpful way to understand my energy levels, which are pretty severely affected by my condition. Problem is, I still sometimes struggle to understand the amount of spoons i have on any given day until they're all gone and I am at the shopping centre needing to take a bus back and walk the rest of the way home. One thing that helps is being constantly mindful of it when I'm alone, because once I hit a certain wall it is almost impossible to help myself. When people are with me they help me to notice the signs, make sure I'm fed and hydrated and take me home if need be.

I have identified with the spoon theory for my years because of my mental health conditions. Recently though, my health has taken a real downward turn because of problems with my lungs. I am still being diagnosed, but my chest X-rays show bad scarring. I was told that my lungs “look like those of a 60 year old smoker with chronic bronchitis” (which is really scary to hear when you’re in your 20s and have never smoked!). The lack of oxygen and constant chest pain have been making me so tired that I can only do one or two things a day.

This video really encompasses the struggles of spoonies compared to ables. We need to be here for each other xx

I really admire you for speaking about this and not crying, because I definitely did just from listening. Great video! I did have 20 years of my body fully working and now grief is eating me alive but I am slowly adjusting. Veeery slowly.

Love your channel, I come back for some sad reasons, basically being recently diagnostic with bipolar, getting covid, getting ill, possible IBD, possible Crohn's disease (waiting for a conclusive diagnosis), which means I have to slow adapt to chronicle fatigue together with the extreme changes in energy my moods bring (yes, even with medication). I love your channel and you open my eyes to so much, thank you.

This is the perfect way to describe most of my days. I have stage 4 cancer plus other invisible issues and since I still have my hair and seem to look "healthy" people give me the dirtiest looks using the door opener button or takin the elevator for one floor. They seem to think being "sick" or having certain things that are hard or energy consuming must leave a person looking a certain way. I just discovered your channel today and I want to say how much I admire you for making videos like this and opening up your personal life to educate people and make the world a better, more understanding place. I admire you because I've tried to do this but my anxieties and other issues to make something like this more difficult for me. I try to justify why I can't film and edit a video and post once a week or so until I see you making this. Sorry chemo brain. Hope this novel - tapped out with one finger made sense.

I have fibromyalgia and that is the most relatable description of a shower I've ever heard in my life. I don't often use spoon theory to explain to people how I live with chronic illness, but I've definitely 'borrowed' spoons from tomorrow to do things today. It's kind of like if you know that having fewer than 5 spoons left at the end of the day means you're going to have to rest way more tomorrow, but you get yourself down to 1 or 2 spoons anyway. I tend to do that a lot during the holiday season since I live in a rural area and going to a WalMart is a 30 minute drive, and the closest city with a mall is an hour's drive. I just have to plan for rest days.

I have a very tiring anxiety disorder and pretty much everything makes me so tierd, and being around people makes me be on guard thinking that strangers only want to harm me unless im in a good mood. Most days im stuck in bed especially during winter, im not very active but i love being active because i often get a runners high from it but it takes so much energy just go do my favorite things like baking, hiking, talking to people i enjoy.

I really find this theory interesting and helping ! And even as a non-chronic-illness-sufferer, I recently had mononucleosis ( which I know is nothing in comparison, ofc, it was just an eye-opener for me) and pushed myself way over my limits because I thought my body couldn't stop me from passing exams, going to school, showering, sleeping, etc, I ended up in hospital dehydrated and incapable of the simplest things and learned that it is okay to ask for help and to cut yourself some slack, and this theory helped me a looooot not to feel guilty and get better.

I was introduced to this theory by several friends who use it in relation to mental disorders, I find it's really good short hand for explaining when you don't want to do something because you don't think you'd be able to get through it without issues, even though you don't currently feel unwell, you can just say "sorry I don't have the spoons to handle that right now" and everyone understands what you mean

That’s a great metaphor. My doctor introduced mine as a bank account. Some activities cost a lot of energy while others are cheaper. You make deposits into your account with self-care activities, which also have different values. It’s easier to explain to people who don’t have disabilities but it’s not nearly as fun ;)

As a fellow spoonie, I cannot love this video enough. Thank you! (Also I'm new to your channel. Loving it here. 💙)

i had spinal fusion because of severe scoliosis that spans almost my entire spine (t4-l4) and i suffer with chronic nerve pain and muscle tension. chronic pain makes EVERYTHING require more energy. just being awake takes up energy. i recently discovered spoon theory and it’s super helpful for me in explaining chronic pain to people who haven’t experienced any kind of disability. shout out to you and all my other people fighting invisible battles 🖤🖤

I was diagnosed with Generlized Anxiety Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder, Panic Attack Disorder, and Sevear Depression when I was 17. I am 21 now and coping has gotten better but I really tires you out to just smile for the day when inside you feel like your body if fighting you. I also happen to have an iron deficiency, and genetic problems with my knees that causes quite a bit of pain daily. This theory made sense to me and I love that you shared It!

I have ADHD, autism, long-covid and chronic pain that may be related to something yet to be diagnosed (possibly fibromyalgia or arthritis). I use the spoon theory a lot to describe energy levels. I also do find that I am quite extraverted, and social contact can also restore some spoons for me. I think a helpful addition to the spoon theory is categorising them in social, mental, emotional, physical, academic, etc. spoons. I may have energy for socialising with housemates one day, but not for grocery shopping. I may have energy for D&D planning, but not for essay writing. I may have energy for a lecture, but not for a seminar. And all of these can go the other way round as well. So for anyone describing themselves as a spoonie I would recommend considering the different 'types' of spoons you have as well as how many you have.

I actually have a video game idea surrounding the idea of spoon theory. I was primarily was thinking of using a sort of horror/eerie medium for it to make it easier for abled body people to understand the struggles it can be for spoonies/disabled individuals just to make it day-to-day with how you prioritise what you can and can’t do. Basically, spoons were going to be a sort of currency system, and you need at least one spoon to end each night (and there’s this symbolic entity that shows up asking for a spoon for payment each night), and if you end the night without a spoon, then you can’t pay the fee to the entity and are pretty much unable to leave bed the next day (which is something more relatable for me), as the entity keeps you there. Other elements, besides spending spoons, would involve some people almost forcibly taking spoons, some in the metaphorical context of forcing you into a conversation or social setting, especially if you were low on spoons at the time or you really don’t like conversing with this person, but they lack boundaries etc. As a spoonie, it just felt like an interesting way to portray it to an extent. As an addition outside the game idea: I sometimes use separate spoons systems for energy and social/emotional, struggling with mental health as well. Where I’ll have the ability to get my job done, but if someone tries to talk to me, I might have to have a meltdown.

I can't believe I've only just found this video. It helped me so much. I get called lazy because I need to rest a lot. I've not been diagnosed with any autoimmune issues but I do have clinical depression, anxiety and emotional intensity disorder. All high functioning (which means I'm good at pretending I'm okay) All of these can be really debilitating some days but this is an excellent way to explain it to those that don't understand what I have to go through on a daily basis. Thank you ❤️

I understand and accept the spoon theory and it is a good talking point with folks for sure. You can give them a visual and explain just as you did how it works and tailor it to your specific situation. Like for me, I often explain it like there is an inner battle going on that causes my outer self to be beaten up. So my cells over react to things, and so I have to limit its ability to do that. I live my life in perpetual caution and I hate it. Sigh... it has been a long hard road and there is no end in sight. This is the depression side of the "invisible disability". Thanks for all you do!

I just found your channel. You’re the best RU-vidr on chronic conditions!! …You burst with charisma and your humor’s on point. i’m a raging perfectionist also, doing my hair & make up is sometimes so tiring I never actually get out The door. It also takes me 5x longer than an average person cause I lose everything I touch!!! I often tell myself, “its okay...everyone else can enjoy the sun.I’m busy having a sleeping contest with Cocobutta” ( my Mainecoon cat -she always gets her 8 hours LOL ). Thank you so much woman!

I’m a massive fan of this description. I first came across is in a fanfic in regards to mental health. It’s so perfect.

The Sims is brilliant for describing basic life for humans. My school aged child was experiencing breakdowns every time she was burnt out. She's played The Sims, so I made her a post-it list of her "bars", as she checked off all of her basic needs she would become far more comfortable and feel in control. Those freakouts are completely gone now, thanks to The Sims. Also, my younger son and his friends were wondering why interactions weren't going well socially, I had them imagine the little pluses and minuses by watching and reading faces around them. Super helpful!

Jessica, You have gorgeous red hair!

Oh my god. I lightbulb just brightened the entire room above my head. I was diagnosed with Lupus 3 years ago. A lot of the symptoms mirror your disease as well. Weakness, extreme joint pain, pain everywhere, fatigue, malaise, organ damage (kidneys are the worst for me), amongst many other symptoms. When I have a lupus flare, I'm considered disabled. But the long-lasting effects of the disease cross over into my non-flare days. It's exhausting for myself and my husband who has to help in my care and listening to me complain about another thing wrong with me. Sigh. The Spoon Theory makes so much sense... especially connected to the "...but you don't look sick?" message. Wow. Mind is blown.

Ive never heard the spoon theory before, and i love it. Thank you for making this video. I have dealt with chronic pain and chronic fatigue since the birth of my son. And it is so hard to explain that im not "just tired" or i don't "just ache"... its so much more than that. And yes, using all my spoons in one day means that the next day i will have less. This is so relatable. Thank you again. Im loving your videos.

Wow ! I am actually watching this on the 25th of January ! Happy Birthday ! Your videos are great - very helpful, and I really relate to them as I have several types of chronic migraine, and other undiagnosed chronic pain & fatigue - and your sense of humor really cheers me up !

I love your videos! I have hypermobile joint syndrome, IBS and anxiety. I kind of consider myself a spoonie because there are some things (like standing up for longs periods of time or doing finicky things with my hands) that take up a lot of energy because my joints don't work like they are supposed to and so unlike normal people, standing upright takes up more energy. Some days are better than others, but if for example I have a day at work and I am on the shop floor all day then I get very tired and foggy by the time I'm home and I don't have the energy to do other things like self-care ect. It's worse during winter cause that's when my joints are worse. I love this video!! So helpful!!

I'd call myself a spoonie. I have a mental disability. I have asperger's and allllllll of the anxiety, crippling depression, etc. that goes along with it. Also, I dont metabolize medication right, so no anxiety meds for me! A dose you would give a child will knock me out for hours. (so sleep only) I also dont sleep well without it.. so.. you sorta get where I"m going with this. I use spoonies like a life bar you'd see in Legend of Zelda. I have a service dog that's really opened doors for me! I love watching you and you inspire me every day. Thank you for all that you do. Thank you for dragging yourself out of bed, being fabulous and strong.

Sometimes just getting the will to take a shower takes me an hour or two... Also you made me realize how hard of hearing I am. Most youtubers have me hitting that rewind button up to 20 times. My dad was mostly deaf and I'm hard of hearing in one ear (at last check....but I don't have insurance 😢) my dad had me learn some ASL but he passed and I slacked off....BUT YOU MOUTH YOUR WORDS BRILLIANTLY!!!! I'm floored. People need to open their mouths more.

Hi! Just found your channel and this video for the first time - someone shared it in a chronic illness group I'm in and it's great, you're lovely! Forgive me for not knowing your story/struggles but the shower is such a huge relatable thing for me. It. Is. Draining! Before I was diagnosed I knew I hated showers but didn't know why, they made me feel better being warm and clean yet also way worse bc it took all of my energy. I decided to grow my hair to donate and as it got longer I struggled more and more with showers and washing and I wasn't doing a good job... so I "trained" it (aka went through a gross oily stage) to not need to be washed as often AND started getting it washed at Great Clips (and other quick salons) for about $5-8 every 2 weeks. Best thing I ever did. Granted, I'm lazy about my hair and it lives in a high bun all the time so it's not nearly as fabulous as yours, but it stays clean and presentable that way with the very least effort. It still takes energy to go out and get it washed but I try to do it on a day when I have to go out anyway so that I'm already dressed and ready. Something to consider and my own personal "pro-tip". Best wishes ❤

My friend likes to use the example of a phone battery instead of spoons. I think both are excellent ways to try to get people who aren't experiencing the constant drain on one's energy resources to understand a little what's going on. I love that you used SIMS to demonstrate this. Thanks for sharing it!

I love coming to this channel to learn. I used to work at the Wetherspoons pub chain and everyone who worked there would affectionately call each other "Spoonies". Had no idea the word spoonie could mean so much more to people. I'll use the word correctly from now on!

Happy birthday 2.5 years late. :) I'm temporarily able-bodied, but have been semi-disabled with a broken ankle (pro hint, don't break the right ankle - you can't drive!) and was off work for five weeks. Five useless, frustrating, boring loooong weeks. I have never been so happy to go back to a dull job! I realize that this is NOTHING compared to your life, but it gave me a (very) small hint of what you go through, and made me appreciate what I do have. Many hugs to you, and positive energy for more spoons tomorrow..

This is the best way I've ever seen someone explain spoon theory. I think an abled bodied person might actually be able to understand this

These is the most accurate depiction of my life! I have Fibromyalgia so this is exactly what it's like! We coined the term 'going goat', like those fainting goats and the way any simple thing like an adrenaline rush can make you basically collapse and need to go to bed! It really helps not using the term 'sick' and can be really funny. Like when my boyfriend is like 'hello goatface how are you? ' and I'm like 'im full catatonic goat' which means I'm bed bound and sad about it.

Fellow spoonie here. I have Ménière's Disease...I progressed over the yrs and lost my career and can rarely drive. I'm really glad I found your channel. I'm in America, thankful to have a good husband to pick up all that I can't do anymore. I love your use of the sims explaining it! The fatigue is real among all other things!

AHH OMG!! I just found your channel today and came across this video. This BLOW MY MIND because I have Ulcerative Colitis (an IBD) and I have been making a similar comparison to the spoon theory without ever knowing what it was. I describe it as having 'energy tokens'. The average person has 10 tokens, and while I'm in a flare up, I have about 4 or 5. So I have to choose my daily activities wisely on these days or I will be sicker for longer. SO COOL!!

i know i'm writing this two years after the original moment of this video, but thank you for telling me about the Spoon Theory. I've been disabled for over 30 years now, and it finally has physical parts i can point at that the Forks can grasp--and yet they grumble, "You don't look disabled." I have a collection of walker contraptions and a nice cane i can use if i have enough energy, and i am grateful that they are concrete things that make my "I am disabled" much more understanding to others. I am no longer hassled very often, so maybe they are figuring it out. But knowing the Spoon Theory gives me a new way to explain it. Thanks! Note. A "Fork" is someone who is metaphorically the opposite of a Spoon, someone who is not disabled, doesn't understand even in a basic way because forks have no real illnesses to deal with. The fork is a tool they use to stab away at you if you have the temerity to claim you are disabled. It is also the name of many bureaucratic individuals at Social Security (i am American) who say, your disease is not on our list, so we don't have to treat you like we care or recognize your problems even exist. This, incidently, made me wish i had found blindness and not some weird autoimmune disorder.

Thank you so much for making this video! I have Asperger Syndrome, Dyspraxia, Anxiety, Depression, and Uneven Leg Length that causes me a lot of problems with my hips. I’ve always followed the spoonie movement since I first found out about a few years ago, and I’ve always felt that I wasn’t ill enough to take part in the movement. However after reading the lovely comments here I think I’ll start using this term to help others understand my issues a bit better. I don’t have the best energy in the world and have to sleep for around 10 hours at least each night so that I can begin to cope with the day ahead. If I have a panic attack or a depressive episode it takes several spoons out of the equation, as well as if I have to do a lot of walking or if I’ve hurt my legs or hips. My autistic tendencies also affect my abilities to cope and deal with things that take place, as any changes that haven’t been preplanned catch me off guard and cause me a lot of anxiety. With all that being said though I wouldn’t change who I am for the world and I’m so proud of where I am today 😊🥄

I know this is a bit of an older video, but I can't help but chime in! The Sims comparison really did a fantastic job of illustrating the spoon theory, and I'm sooo surprised I've never seen or heard that one before. I'm definitely going to refer people to this video if they ever want to know. Also, I do have autism which is a disability that is typically associated with an energy drain due primarily to passing. It can definitely take a major toll on my spoons to pass as NT, I basically need to be flying on manual instead of autopilot all day, course-correcting how I interact with people and limiting the ways I stim to deal with sensory information. It's definitely one reason I'm rarely a fun person to take to a night club, since I'm tired by like 11pm. But that said, I think there IS also a spoon drain just associated with being autistic in the first place. Even when I stim as I please, sensory information can take a real toll on me. Too much light gives me headaches and makes me tired, bad textures can make me nauseous, and loud sounds wear me out. That last one goes double for background noise, since I have a really, really hard time picking out signal from noise and it takes a lot of energy(and guessing work!) to do so. I'm exhausted, for example, from a physical therapy appointment today due to all the background noise in the facility and that half the time I was playing "fill in the blank" with my PT.

an old video but this is so helpful about explaining energy levels when people see you as 'not that disabled', i suffer with HSP, in a mild way compared to most, but people forget if i go out with them i am already thinking beforehand, okay i'll have the energy to do this this and this but i'll probably have to leave early, but not seem rude about that. I also suffer with depression which means some days i can start my day with a very low amount of spoons, with not alot of things being able to recharge them. I definitely need to remember this video if anybody doesn't understand!

yup, its a sign lol I made sims looking like you and your wife the night before I discovered this channel and now I'm seeing this vid... thank god I subscribed. thank you for explaining this theory.

I am not disabled but between chronic pain and migraines enough of my circle is able to understand I’m Out Of Spoons rather than me going into detail of exactly which surprise ailment is causing me to lie on the floor. It’s actually proven an excellent tool for me to help MYSELF understand where I need to draw the line and stop forcing myself to do things.

I rewatched this video today because I’m having a really low energy day with a lot of shoulder pain, I wanted to go for a hike so badly but I work tomorrow so I couldn’t risk pushing myself like that. So I was getting down on myself for not being able to hike but it always helps to know I’m not alone in needing to relax a bit more than some people.

Love, love, love the way you explained the spoon theory! Was so fun to watch!

SLE Lupus/Myelitis spoonie here!! Going through a bit of a flare this week and trying to manage my spoons so I️ can still get through my work and school. Watching your videos has been really helpful to me this week, to feel like someone understands. Thanks!

Apparently I'm in the minority when I say that showers make me gain spoons. I do sit down in the shower so that I'm not standing. The water really hurts at first but then it makes my nerves decide that they're not going to hurt anymore and also helps greatly with headaches. I guess it's kind of like using one spoon to gain 3 in return, I guess. Sometimes I'll use my very last spoon to get in just because I know it'll let me do one more thing before I go to bed :)

I have a chronic illness and this is my first time ever hearing the term spoonie. Honestly wish I would have known about this sooner, it would have helped me explain to people when they just didn't get why I don't have the energy to be outside all the time or why I can't do whatever activity.

I was so excited to find this video! I'd never heard the term "spoonie" before, but I've often heard people in casual conversation refer to "not having enough spoons" to do such-and-such. (Maybe because I have many friends in the disabled community?) I hadn't realized it was from an actual article-I'd just had the concept casually explained to me & it made so much sense to my own experience that I've often talked about having/using spoons and find it useful to think about my energy levels this way. I do have some physical health issues (chronic kidney disease, arthritis, pinched nerves, etc.), but my spoon issues primarily come from my mental health problems (especially bipolar disorder and anxiety), which are severe enough that the government identifies me as disabled and gives me benefits because I'm unable to work. If I'm severely depressed, I have almost no spoons at all, but if I'm manic, I have so many spoons I could tango on the moon! And if my anxiety is severe enough, then something that might normally not take many spoons at all (like having lunch with a friend or even just walking down a crowded street) might take so many spoons that it just feels impossible. Managing spoons is especially difficult for me when it comes to my anxiety, because I feel ashamed of it, like I "should" be able to do such-and-such because everyone else can, and so I push myself, and I don't realize that I've used too many spoons until I'm completely unable to function and have broken down crying on the bus or something. It's like I ignore my spoon stash because I don't want to admit that it's limited in this embarrassing way. Nope! Not looking at the spoons! Because if I don't look at them, then they don't exist! Then ... suddenly ... uh oh! I suddenly have no spoons, with no warning! I guess, for me, I think of having physical health spoons *and* mental health spoons. So if I have bronchitis (which happens a lot), then I don't have many physical health spoons and have to rest a lot. But if I'm really anxious then I don't have many mental health spoons and need to cut myself slack about things that are emotionally difficult. There's overlap for me, because, for example, depression depletes both my mental and physical spoons. Severe depression can make just getting out of bed a significant challenge, let alone showering. Depression can be just exhausting, both physically and emotionally. I hope none of this seems belittling to people with "real" disabilities like CFS, PoTS, and MS, but I think this concept can be useful to many of us with different kinds of problems that affect our energy and how it may differ from other people's. I think it can help us to feel less judgmental of ourselves, and just be matter-of-fact, just "Well, I've got this many spoons, and I need to save some up for this thing later in the day, so taking a nap right now is actually the best thing to do so I can build myself back up a bit," instead of bombarding ourselves with "shoulds." Like we all "should" have the same number of spoons and use them at the same rate for the same things. This idea of spoons helps concretize a concept that otherwise may seem nebulous and therefore easily dismissed. This has been very long-winded, but I just wanted to tell you how much your videos mean to me, not only for myself but also for all the people I know in the disabled community (and the people I don't know but still support). I can't imagine how you find the spoons to make all these videos and to be so positive, but you make a real difference in people's lives, including mine. Thank you!