What is Avoidant Personality Disorder? 

I’m pretty sure I have this. I’m not only worried that they may not like me, but I worry that they may actually like me and then I would have to deal with a relationship.

Even talking to a cashier or getting instructions from my boss is so intense I find it hard to remember what I was told, or what was said.

When avoiding people, I feel like I have control over myself. Nobody can be rude to me, nobody can hurt me when I'm on my own. When I'm at a place where other people can judge me and make assumptions about me, I feel like they're more in control over me than I am

This is me in a nutshell. Always been a loner/lone wolf type. I want to have friends and a significant other but it just isn't going to happen.

I hate people because they make you feel bad about having a problem instead of helping you to overcome your problem

I firmly believe early childhood trauma and bullying contributes to AVPD.

I feel like I finally know what’s wrong with me after all these years. But it’s comforting in a way to know that there’s thousands of people just like me.

I feel so comfortable when it’s just me myself and I...I created my own lil world in my head and when humans come around me sometimes I just get so aggravated...I know I have a problem because people’s presence just annoy me for no reason and I would just like for them to stay tf away from me...It jus seems like everyone is the same...Either only care about themselves,annoying,or negative...it’s sad when you are like me and rarely feel any desire to interact with others cause u defenitly will feel left out of EVERYTHING..

This is so me. I spend 2 minutes in what feels like 2 hours of personal torment rehearsing how I'm going to say "Here" when a professor is doing roll call. I feel like everyone I pass is whispering about me. Even going to the store is so scary because of this. It's not as bad when I know I'm only dealing with people I'll probably never see again.

I have avoidant personality disorder, depression, and social anxiety, thanks for birthing me, mom.

I feel like an alien in a human suit desperately trying to emulate normal behavior and conversation but only estranging others more at every turn. I constantly say things that don’t make sense. My life is boring and empty and pathetic and I need to constantly hide it from the world. No one must know how I actually live; what I’m actually like.

I’m 20 and I’ve had this “avoidant” sort of personality since I was about 12-13, but it’s gotten way worse in the past few years. When I was a kid, I found it easy to make friends and had a bunch of them. In middle school, it slowed down but I still could make friends, but I began to become really self conscious and worried about what they think of me. Now I haven’t made a friend in five years. Originally, my fear of rejection stemmed from public speaking (I have a lisp so I was embarrassed in class when I was required to speak out loud) and this later grew into being self conscious of everything about myself (my appearance/personality/habits/etc.). I can’t even become close to people anymore. Every time I receive criticism, I automatically break down and cry. It’s really ruining my life. I used to want kids but now I think “if I get pregnant I have to go the hospital and talk to people. When I have kids, I have to talk to their teachers and friends’ parents” and now I don’t want kids. I used want to get married but now I’m scared of talking to my spouses family and friends and having a wedding. I’m so envious of people who get to live a life free of AVPD. I always think to myself “imagine how far I could’ve gone if I was comfortable in social situations”. I’d be pursing medicine or law. But now I’m stuck in hell for the rest of my life.

This is definitely me, I never knew these symptoms were a disorder, I always thought it was just me. I never really talk to new people because I'm so worried that they will think what I say is dumb/pointless/embarrassing. For example I just started a new job and everyone is new there because it is a new building, so everyone is getting to know each other. People in the staff room have big conversations but I can never bring myself to become involved in them because I worry that they won't like me joining in the conversation or I'll say something dumb. I really want to make friends and be confident and I tell myself "I'm going to toughen up and talk to this person who I've wanted to talk to for a long time tomorrow" but when the time comes I chicken out. I hate being like this

I recently discovered that I have this. It's hell on Earth but it's oddly comforting to put a name to this Hell. I've never been comfortable around strangers or even coworkers and everyone thinks I'm "weird" or "a bitch" even though I'm extremely nice and consider myself very hard-working. I struggle to not get choked up when someone asks me "how I am" and whatnot. I avoid the break room at work (and avoided lunch at school when I was younger,) every day because I was afraid someone would ask me "how I was." I always wanted to say "You don't want to know." I shake my foot frantically and fake-laugh and pray they'll leave before I have an anxiety attack. These disorders are real and they prevent so many good people from fully living their lives.

I have this. In therapy I was given the reasons why. Growing in a single parent house,my mother has NPD and is high on the spectrum. One night stands, partying, name brand clothes, money and her friends were the most important things to her. I had to stay in my room all the time, my things weren't allowed outside my room. When we did interact it was just her yelling at me and blaming for everything wrong with her life. If I spoke to ppl I was belittled and mocked. When I got into the real world I had no skills to deal with it and ppl don't want to hear about your fucked up childhood. So I did what I knew. I locked myself away. I want a life, I just don't have the skills or security to do so. How do you express your emotions when you were taught to not have any?

I have AVPD, I’m 25, I’m living with my mother that I believe is the root of all my problems, her neglect made me this way, I’m trying my hardest to overcome my dependency on her and try to get away from her and start my own life

It's just so debilitating. One second I'll feel inferior, the next inadequate. I just get so jealous of people who don't have this and get to have fun and experience things around my age (20). I've gotten better with the anxiety part of it, but the inadequacy is just killing me inside and prevents me from holding conversations

Btw, Being severely rejected or bullied can be trauma too

Im 22 and i always avoid people.I always feel like going from work to home eating and watching series and doing notting more.

I avoid people because they have shown me their true colors.

I'm crying so hard right now. I always thought that I was this lazy and incapable person that couldn't be helped. I'm sick and tired of avoiding stuff. I feel like now that I know what's wrong with me, I'll finally be able to move forward.

I love how you talk in; ''us, we're'' and etc. makes it definitely more personal and real. Thanks Kati.

How do I call a psychologist to make an appointment and get professionally diagnosed when just calling my friend is terrifying?

I literally have no friends 😔

being bullied and told your a weird will do this too you :(

I have avoidant personality disorder. I refuse to talk to people at work as I am afraid I won't live up to their expectations. I reject men that want to take me out so I will not be the one rejected. The only people I am myself with are family and long term friends

I often ghost ppl because I don't want them getting too close to me. I do it out of fear because I believe that if they got to really know me that they wouldn't like me.

I almost feel like I can’t connect with people because I don’t even feel like I’m here. Does that make sense? Not because I care what they’ll think about me.

A video comparing AVPD and social anxiety disorder would be good

I finally found out what it is that's wrong with me. I might have this. My whole life I've been shy but it wasn't until middle school that I became extremely fearful of rejection and embarrassment. I was bullied for everything I did and made fun of to the point that I would be afraid to LOOK at people because they would think I'm ugly... I'm going to try to force myself to do things that I would typically never do to over come this. I want to be able to socialize with people and be a normal teenager

I have a hard time answering the phone.

I feel all the people with this problem should have a convention (including me) 😄 since we are all disappointed in humanity

i was raised by a BPD mom, so my whole life has been criticism and ridicule. now it's so engrained in me that if anyone else shows rejection in any way, no matter how small, or people say anything negative about me it devastates me because in my mind it's justifying all of the crap that i have been told by my mom my whole life. It got to the point of me literally pushing everyone out of my life and avoiding all social interactions for a couple of years starting in early adulthood, and now I've been doing a lot of self work to change all of that and become healthier and better. It's been extremely difficult but small improvements have been made.

This has been me my entire life I never knew what I had was actually a disorder I always thought it was social anxiety or just shyness. But after hearing this it sounds like me exactly every single point has resonated with me. I’ve gotten better at social stuff but struggle with new environments still. I’m so happy to know I’m not the only one. I don’t want to let my perceived thoughts get in the way of my life.

I avoid people because I'm a codependent people pleaser. Been used by so many times trying to be a good person that it's just not worth it anymore.

U just explained the results of narcissistic abuse

I'm so screwed. At least I finally have an explanation of why I'm so messed up and feel the way I do. My depression was just a side effect it seems

This is so me for most of my life, almost 60 years.

I was professionally diagnosed with Avoidant Personality Disorder. A lot of the description matches, but there were some key differences, the main ones being that I showed strong symptoms of it as a baby, and the other being that we tend to greatly suppress emotions, both positive and negative. I don't know if it's the same for others, but I do notice the only emotions that don't seem to get suppressed are embarrassment and guilt. Those can easily become overwhelming.

I'm very avoidant, but not because I'm afraid of people. I just don't see the point in dealing with adversity at this stage of the game.

I wish I could meet some of you guys with this disorder

This is me, spending 10 years mastering the art of avoiding. This screws me over with gaining new skills or connections or keeping old ones, which doesn't seem to be the case for shyness or social anxiety. I'm coping it now with public speaking, like Toastmasters, but it'll take a while, as an adult, to learn. The 40 Year Old Virgin, with more awkward

I avoid almost everyone now, I feel less bad that way

I live in a culture that values being "friendly" and being social above all, specially in a work environment. Having this makes everyone think I don't like them or that I plot against them( cuz that's another fricking thing, no one's really your friend or thrust even their own relatives, some how they believe social people to be inherently good).

Yeah it's dread, not fear that I feel... I dread being in social interactions because I already know how it will turn out... bad... this describes me to "T", but I think that I have a more severe case. I have a lot of personal conflict internally--I crave to have meaningful personal relationships with others but at the same time I hate for anyone to get close to me. I am also not a talkative person and it feels like you have to entertain someone 27/7 with the gift of gab to keep them as a friend. I get tired of talking after a few sentences...so they find me boring and tire of being around me.

I feel like schools should teach about this so people understand why others act weird instead of jumping to the conclusion of “she’s a bitch”

That totally describes me and I feel I am making things much worse because I can sense people getting mad at me because I avoid talking to them but I can't help it. I can't stand this situation anymore

I don't fully identify with these traits. I feel like a lack of social skills, due social isolation in school, prevents me from developing close relationships. I for example find it difficult to make conversation even with family.

What a lot of people seem to miss in these comments is a person's motivation and the severity of symptoms. Of course most people will identify with many or all of the criteria of this or other personality disorders because they cover normal personality traits. However, just because someone may fit the criteria doesn't mean they have a disorder. For example, if someone fits most of the criteria, but they avoid people because they're a loner, and being alone doesn't cause them any distress, then they don't have a disorder. Also, if a person fits some or all of the criteria, but they're still able to function (have a job, take care of themselves, have some kind of social life, etc), then they probably don't have a personality disorder. (They possibly may have some kind of problem with anxiety.) If a person can't keep steady employment or do with absolute dread; want friends, yet have very few or none because of the fears listed in the criteria; can't participate in normal activities of life because of exaggerated fears; etc... then it's a possibility they may suffer from a personality disorder.

Ever since around middle school I've had a lot of problems with going out and being around people I don't know. Now going into adulthood it's causing a lot of issues, like not being able to get a job because I don't believe I'll live up to the job and I'll just end up failing. Then, not having a job, I become more anxious because I'm not able to provide for myself so I become a burden on other people. This has been spiralling out of control for a long time now and it's really taken a toll on my mental health. I've seen therapists and it never seems to work for me, I always end up back where I was before with little improvements (In fact, I'll usually come out worse off because failing therapy is just another failure to add to the list and it worsens my self esteem). We've gone through my issues, I know WHY I am the way I am but all that does it make me feel like I'm worth even less. It makes me feel like there isn't really any purpose for me to go on, like I won't be able to provide for myself and I won't be helpful for society so why should I even bother with it? I guess my only saving grace is the internet and video games because being anonymous allows me to be myself without many repercussions (I'll still actively avoid any comments against me and I rarely check the replies to my comments just incase someone said something bad about me). If I didn't have video games to distract me and the internet to vent I would have probably been dead for a few years now.

I avoid family members and family friends because I was harrassed constantly by my sisters over everything. I eventually stopped wanting to share any part of my life with them and by extension, their friends. Admittedly, I do avoid talking to people in general because of having lived with them in that negative environment for so long. I shed fear of expectations of others for the most part. I also no longer give a fuck. I lived my whole life being afraid of most of what you talked about. Like, I walk with my head up a lot more and just don't make eye contact.

As a kid I was very talkative but in elementary I started to get picked on and it carried on into middle school. This made me not want to talk anymore due to the fact that I didn’t want to be mistreated anymore. I’m in high school now in 11th grade I talk to very few people and I clam up around girls. I wish I could restart from the first day of elementary school 😔

So, what if you kind of are inferior, what if you are at the very bottom of the dominance hierarchies? What if most of your interactions with people really do make you feel sad? What if these things have nothing to do with perception, but everything to do with reality? Why would you put yourself through that? Being lonely is bad, but so is constantly putting yourself in a situation that makes you feel bad. I almost always come away with regret. I think it's evolution at work in my case.

"Hell is other people" Jean-Paul Sartre

It’s sad that I’m just hearing about this disorder now in 2019.

It's all trauma, whatever you wanna call it. All personality disorders are a result of complex PTSD. Thank you mom and dad for damaging me and then laughing about it. Having a sense of humor is good.

Just recently became aware this was a condition when I did a personality disorder test and got like 90%+ Avoidant on it. I just always thought this was how I was and there was nothing I could do about it. Made an appointment to see a therapist. I'm really tired of feeling like this.

HAHAHAHA man, I have like all these! This is the first time I've ever got a perfect score on a test.

Therapy, is massively expensive. Can you imagine someone with this disorder, trying to hold down a job? So, if they can't, they end up homeless, and even more ostracized. Childhood trauma, and bullying DEFINITELY cause this. Also add in other psyche disorders, or disabilities, and it's no quality of life at all. For me, being alone, is a safe place. I can't read people well, and every "friend" in adulthood, used me for their own gain, so, I don't bother with "friends" at all. If I'm alone, no one can judge me or betray me. I have nothing to make me uncomfortable. I even go to self check out, to avoid a person asking "How are you?" & practically demanding an empty answer of "fine". I'm not "fine" & haven't been forever basically, so having to say I'm "fine", just rubs in that I'm not "fine", so it's like having to lie all the time. So, self checkouts offer peace from that. Also imagine rejection, after rejection, all through the years of childhood, adulthood & beyond. Bullying, is 100x times worse than people think. It causes disorders like this one, paranoia, depression, low self esteem, and so much more, simply because we are rejected and or ostracized by others. It's come to the point, that all I want for Christmas, or my birthday, is kindness. But, if someone IS kind to me, even that upsets me, because it's so rare, shocking & unexpected, so it opens the floodgates of pent up emotion, and then because I get upset at a kindness, which baffles people, they tend to back away, which is seen as rejection. So, it's a vicious circle. Also, some people with this disorder trust no one at all, and often family members also alienate people with this, because they don't understand it, or what triggers it, and so they see the person as too messed up to bother with. They don't understand, that the presence of ANYONE, makes people with this disorder incredibly nervous. If someone just "pops" over, it can send someone with this disorder fleeing because it forces a social situation on the person. The person afflicted, is often told "you're an adult, so act like one". Just because people are adults, doesn't mean they morph into a "normal" person, instantly. This disorder, is often a lifetime sentence, that is not easily escaped.

Years I've spent living in my bedroom , I can't even live in the entirety of the house because idk I just feel safer here, I'm intelligent yet won't engage with work because of negative start early on I life I just am to fearful of failing and that fear has caused me to actually fail. It makes me so hyper vigilant and nervous I fall to pieces in work environments. Im always alone, I avoid certain people for various reasons all seem logical to me and I'm happier this way. I can't engage with the opposite sex easily I find it extremely difficult integrating them into my life especially my home. Does this sound like APD? This has in effect ruined my life, and I'm at a loss as to explain to anyone rationally why I'm like this.

I wish it could just go away

For me i've had avpd since i was a toddler. Im in my first year of university ( british word for college) its been 5 weeks and im still completely alone. I have no friends and its made more difficult when everyone has already formed their social circles. I just sit in my room. No one ever talks to me in class and i don't know why. Its like im always expected to strike up a conversation first which for me is near impossible. Its particularly distressing as its important to make friends in the first year so you can pay for a student house with people you know. If you have no friends then theres no hope of finding accommodation next year. Also im a guy so theres more of an expectation for me to be outgoing

Also people don't really listen, they just wait to start talking again!

I know I'm lovable and loved by God but I feel lost with people i don't fit in anywhere

i wrote a really long comment but then i deleted it because i got scared... hehh... yeah... bye

I feel like this is very me. I never go out and see friend because I'm just anxious to, I'm anxious that I wont be good company and that people will find me disgusting. I know I'm average/normal looking so I don't have any dysphoria about my body. But when I meet new people, I'm always very frightened and I won't do it unless I have to. I get very scared that they'll find me disgusting and I become very aware of my breath, maybe I look sweaty, how oily is my skin, do I have an eyecrust, are my lips crusty, do my clothes look dirty to them and so forth. I'm also afraid of new things, I'm afraid to go bowling, I'm afraid to go shopping in a city I haven't visited before - just everything really. I hate seeing friends aswell and going out for coffee is the worst, when someone expects a conversation. Do ya'll smart people think this might be avoidant personality disorder or is it just an extension of my anxiety? Could it be some sort of control issue? I just don't know anymore.

I rejects others so they don’t reject me. I realise that I have a personality not many people actually like, and that hurts. When you don’t really know anyone, and don’t let anyone get close, you forget that you’re not very likeable. Until you let someone in and they reject you. It’s funny because I know people find me intimidating. I have a “resting bitch face”, and I keep up to date with men’s fashion. I cut my own hair, so I’m always looking sharp. That’s as far as people will know of me. It’s better to remain a mystery, even though it hurts on this side too. It just hurts a little less being lonely as opposed to being rejected for who you are.

When talking to people and you don't know what to say and you want to say something, talk about how your body feels, like if it's hot or cold or how the breeze feels good. This helps with small talk sometimes.

I've been alone for so long now I have no interest in socializing anymore.

I have AvPD & one thing I'll mention is that it has caused me alcohol abuse. Drinking lowers inhibitions & creates false confidence

I feel so sick of myself. A lot of people don't understand me, even my immediate family that sometimes I even think that I don't understand myself as well. I feel so bad. I don't know what to do. Anymore.

It all comes from a dysfunctional family - people in my house very extremely disrespectful, angry, had so much resentment, and were so frustrated with their lives. At a very young age around 7 or 8, I realised I have to avoid them to protect myself and eventually I became mentally conditioned to avoid people. Even today at 32 I am unable to talk to people, unable to have proper conversations, very high social anxiety and low confidence. I struggle to make friends, and I am super lonely not by choice but out of helplessness. I have never been in a relationship and I don't remember last time I had eye contact with someone. I can't seem to get out of it but I am working on myself and I shall overcome.

I wish I could only associate with people like me - people who understand how I feel. People's profound ignorance and obliviousness infuriates me. People who downplay my personal feelings as if they are "not that serious". You know, something I can easily recover from, and that I am only causing to myself. I feel like personality disorders are one of the most misunderstood and undermined forms of disorders. I would much rather be around people who understand and experience this because, really, only they know how this truly feels.

I'm not sure in my case if it's related to fear of being disliked or ridiculed of shamed, but I am extremely avoidant of interacting with people in a certain stage of relationship. I'm fine with meeting people, I'm usually fine with people I see very often, and I'm completely fine with people I live with. But when someone you may work with or go to school with or you have met somewhere tries to develop a friendship with you by getting together outside of your original place of meeting or knowing each other, or talking to you via text or i.m. or skype conversations I dread every moment of it. I hate whenever someone asks if I want to hang out, I hate getting a message saying "hey what's up". I hate taking part in this attempt to become friends or whatever. And I think it's because my interactions are almost performances. Not in an non genuine way, I'm not trying to manipulate anybody, or put on a false persona. But it's like as soon as I start interacting with someone who I'm in this state of relationship with a switch in my brain flips on that makes me interact as "correct" and as best as possible. I need to fill every silence, I need to be entertaining, I need to respond correctly to anything that might result in a poor emotional outcome for the other person. Like if the person says something self deprecating I have to try my hardest to say the right thing that will make them okay (I know that won't happen, they have emotional issues of their own.). If they need some kind of emotional support I have to say all the right things. And I can't shut that switch off. I go into this mode of being "on" and it's extremely draining. I'm completely worn out after every interaction, during which I really just wanted the interaction to end. I think I've developed this mental state due to anxiety. I am hugely socially/interpersonally anxious. I am anxious about these interactions already, so I'm compulsively doing everything in my power to avoid the even more intense discomfort and anxiety that comes from uncomfortable interactions, that I'm trying to avoid by interacting as best I can. And because of all this I'm hugely avoidant of these interactions in this state of relationship. When I actually go ahead and take part in them it's when I'm feeling unusually confident in how it will go, and when I'm reminded of how it makes me feel (so uncomfortable and anxious, then afterwards, totally drained), I retreat into avoidance. I completely ignore the last person who tried to become friends with me now (she tries to i.m. me sometimes), not only because I don't want to take part in the conversation, but because she'll ask why I haven't been talking to her and I'm super sensitive to conflict. I can't put myself in a situation where there will be conflict, so I avoid them completely. All this makes it pretty much impossible to develop any new relationships. I'm close with my immediate family that I live with, but that is the extent of my close relationships. I'm even afraid of being any place now where there are people who may try to become friends with me. I quit my support group (for trans people, not mental health related) because that's where I knew this girl from. I really truly want to gain close friends, and spend time with people and enjoy myself so I can have a fulfilling life and relationships, but this is a huge obstacle. I don't know if this could be the experience of someone with avoidant personality disorder, as this is largely avoiding feelings of discomfort and anxiety and uncomfortable conflict feelings, not really about acceptance or being liked (although I'd certainly be made sad if I wasn't liked by someone I liked). One thing I wonder about is if I simply haven't found the right people. Perhaps with the right people, I wouldn't be made so uncomfortable with the interactions. If we had enough in common the interactions would come naturally. I'm never ever the person to initiate anything. I'm not actually motivated to spend time with the people who try to become friends with me because I don't get anything out of the interactions. Which is really hard being someone who can't stand the idea of hurting somebody. It's never that I dislike the person, or don't care about them. It's just that I don't get anything out of the interactions. Unfortunately, the only times I find myself actually motivated to spend time with people is if I'm interested in them non-platonically. And if I am interested in a person, I have way too much anxiety to do anything about it. I am on the autism spectrum, and before I was 15 sucked balls at interacting, and maybe due to that, that I can't naturally interact "properly", and I am too sensitive to the uncomfortable feelings of "messing up" at interacting, I have developed a hyper aware, meticulous way of interacting that completely drains me of energy. So internet, what the fuck is wrong with me?

I think treating "hypersensitivity" and "low self-esteem" is the key to solve the problem at the root cause.

In a sense I relate to this, because I've had experience with backstabbing, manipulation, betrayal, and take advantage of. So I'm actually pretty happy avoiding people nowadays.

I can really relate to everything she says. I have struggled making friends and being in social situations my whole life but it didn't start getting worse until after I turned 21, there are times where I completely shut myself out and won't want to talk to anyone for fear of pouring all my problems onto someone else and then having them judge me because of them, I've always thought it was just me. I haven't been diagnosed but it's nice to know that if I do have this disorder that there is a way to treat it so I and people like myself can get the treatment we need to overcome it. To all those who suffer from avpd and those who may think they have it, there is a way to overcome it, it will not happen over night and I know that it will be hard but there is always a light at the end of the tunnel no matter what situation you're in. I hope this message will help.

I have AVPD (self diagnosed), I'm 32. I've been trying to make efforts to get over it in the past year but it's honestly really hard. I don't care all that much about making friends, I feel fine being with my brother, sister and parents for emotional support. It's getting a girlfriend that's killing me. I've never had one. The lack of experience is giving me a terribly low self esteem sexually and in a relationship. And I can't get experience if I don't start seeing girls. It's a vicious cycle, The fear is preventing me from getting a girlfriend, but I need a girlfriend to get over my fear of a relationship... I made a few attempts at getting a girlfriend this year but I have yet to ask a girl out. The most I was able to do was go see one at her work place as she's a barmaid. Everything I did to get her to notice/like me took a ridiculous amount of effort as I had to work through a huge amount of stress and anxiety. I spent 45mins inside my house with my coat on unable to move before I went to see her the first time. Then I got her to like me enough that she was literally begging me to kiss her but I just ran off on her and now she wants nothing to do with me... I guess that was my limit. At least I learned some things out of this experience. I'm getting over my approach anxiety and speaking to girls is getting a lot easier, but the whole idea of getting into a relationship with someone is making me want to run the hell away. For some reason, I'm more afraid that things are gonna work out than being rejected. If things work out, I'm gonna have to live up to her expectations and I don't have the confidence that I can do that. So what I tell myself is "Why bother if she's just gonna dump me in a month or 2 and leave me miserable"

I fear rejection everywhere. Sometimes I even get paranoid that any time a group of people are talking and any of them dislike me at all, they'll end up straight-up talking about how shitty I am. But the weird thing is, when I'm actually directly, obviously, and possibly severely rejected, I just think "what an asshole" and move on 99% of the time. I'm afraid more of the imaginary rejections than the actual rejections. And it's also the assumption that such a large percentage of people will reject me enough that I could never actually have any real kind of connection. It's some "forever alone" kind of stuff where you can't tell yourself "even if no one at school likes me, I could just go to a meetup for some of my interests!" because you don't believe it. No one will ever truly accept you.

Being the skape goat in a disfuntional family and dealing with alot of emotional and mental abuse , was the cause of mine , the nicer I try to be to people the meaner they are towards me , cut contact with most of my abusive family , yes it's lonely but don't have to wonder where and when the next hateful crap is going to come out of their vicious mouths. I've simply given up on relationships except for my two grown children and four grand children. I go for a WK at times without talking to another person , I wouldn't wish this way of life on anyone , it's an awful way to have to live.

I've finally found out why I'm so antisocial. I don't even talk to my family

how it feels to have avpd: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I’ve always hated being judged, even when I was tiny, I was so scared of people’s opinions, and I stayed away from them.

Im quite positive this is what my ex has. She never wanted to go out, spend time with people, etc. She had this horrible self image, and she never wanted to work it out.

Can you do more on this topic? There's very little out there in terms of resources for this.

I wish she could be my therapist! All mine have ever done is say to go out and get yourself used to being out with people again. Its like, if I could just go out, I wouldn't be here getting help for that exact problem!! The fact that she actually helps her patients in the real world is amazing.

I used to be myself and I had a ton of close friends that I loved so much, and everything was so easy because I just acted like my true self. Then I moved to a different state when I was 10 yo and it became a lot harder to make friends/ppl would always tell me to shut up or make fun of me. Ever since then I've completely shut myself off in fear of getting judged, but even though I have known this whole time that I must have a problem, I could never detect it. Then yesterday I got high and coincidentally ran into a group of "friends." I think my state of mind let me see everything for what it is, and I realized that they look at me super judgmentally. My past trauma is definitely not as crazy as a lot of these comments, but my situation is so weird and complicated. I don't live in my room, I go out and do stuff pretty often. And I still talk to people, but not as my true self. I think that I block out my real personality and try to replace it with the personalities of the people around me. I think I might do this bc it's easier to get judged when you aren't being yourself than when you are.. then when I ran into those kids yesterday and saw how they judged me I realized that no matter what I act like I'm going to get judged regardless. I just wish that knowing that would be enough to switch on my true self but somehow it's impossible for me to do that.

I am an anti social hermit that only mingles if I have to. Sometimes avoiding certain people is better than going to prison for murder.

I have AVPD. I've been in the military for 17 years and just diagnosed 5 years ago when I was on my last leg. I got married and things started to go down hill very fast....anyways that's my life. I'd would suggest everyone who has AVPD to watch Neon Genesis Evangelion. It's a anime series made by a director who has AVPD for people like us. Another series is welcome to the NHK a dark comidy about the more extreme AVPD in japan. In Japan they have people so avoidant that they can't even leave there house in fear of being hurt. The char. stay true to there disabilities to the bitter end. I learned a lot about myself. I really disliked the main character I wasn't sure why and it felt weird to have this emotional reaction to him...later I found out his character was AVPD type C....same as me....what does that say about me now? Not only the main characters have issues either the main characters care taker has borderline Personality disorder the father is all sorts of messed up and so on. The director doesn't try to change anyone into something they aren't and I thank him for that. By the end you will know the director is AVPD and suffers from depression just like you and me but he still keeps going. We will never be heroes like in the movies and that's OK each time you get your ass out of bed and face your fear there is a victory to be had.

Thank you for always being so respectful towards people who face mental health challenges. Your videos are golden 💖

funny, i evn avoid my family at home too now...

My deal is I just don’t have the interest. Period.

I've been diagnosed with BPD, but I think personally I'm more of AVPD with Borderline features. Therapists don't seem to listen most of the time. They take what they want to hear and ignore everything else. I want to become a therapist, but I don't want to be like that.

*fails to come up with a comment for someone might read it*

This video makes me feel like someone understands me for the first time.

I can remember the detail in expression people give when they are insulting me or leave negative comment about me (I'm even more sensitive about it when it comes to people criticising my look) Over the years, I no longer actively participate in classroom learning like giving feedback and asking questions because I'm always afraid some people will judge me for being an attention seeker or miss know it all When i fell down in my classroom one day, I was so embarrassed. Not because the fact that I fell but because I kept thinking that some people might come to the conclusion that I pretended to fall because I'm seeking for attention I get so anxious upon entering the classroom when I'm late because I'm concerned about what everyone will conclude about my behaviour and responsibility as a student. I'm also constantly worried about my teachers scolding me There are also some other events in my life where my extreme shyness, tendency of withdrawal and reluctant to socialize have been very crippling to myself. I noticed that sometime it's not normal too but I just can't help it I always thought "what if they think of me this way? What if they're gonna judge me"

I like to live alone.

This is me...I don't trust ANYONE...never trust anyone...they would break me ;-;

Many of those who have a fear of being ridiculed and rejected are conditioned to be avoidant because of past relentless ridicule and rejection. It's no different that being electrocuted and then avoiding situations that leave you exposed to being electrocuted.

This is me 100%. I was criticized my entire life and now I know everyone is thinking bad things about me. It really is about my weight mostly.