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What Is Emotional Abuse: It's Spelled W-I-F-E | The Happy Wife School Show Ep.3 

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In this episode, I will be discussing:
1) Why 80% of Divorces Are Filed By Wives
2) The Signs That a Man Is Unhappy In His Marriage
3) Emotional Abuse In Marriage
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#happywife, #redpill, #marriage, #women, #men, #relationshipadvice
*Disclaimer:* The views and perspectives on relationships that are expressed in my videos and courses are meant for women married to good men and good men who are experiencing relationship issues within a range of behaviors that are common and usual - what you might reasonably expect your neighbors or friends to be going through behind closed doors. My message is not for aggressive, violent, or compulsive behaviors in a marriage or relationship that are threatening or dangerous. If you are experiencing such behaviors and/or physical abuse, you should seek a licensed mental health professional who is trained in dealing with domestic abuse.
Karyn Seitz and The Happy Wife School are not engaged in the practice of psychotherapy, clinical counseling, or any medical practice. You should not interpret any part of my videos as traditional psychological, medical, or emotional therapy. Karyn Seitz is not a licensed health professional. You should seek help for any specific psychological, medical, or emotional problems with a mental health professional or qualified physician.
Timestamps:
0:00 Welcome and Message
3:52 Topic Introduction
5:21 Signs a Man is Unhappy in Marriage
21:39 Why 80% of Divorces are Filed by the Wife
34:24 Emotional Abuse in Marriage
52:14 Questions and Comments
Questions and Comments

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10 сен 2023

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Комментарии : 984   
@thehappywifeschool
@thehappywifeschool 2 месяца назад
Video Timestamps: 0:00 Welcome and Message 3:52 Topic Introduction 5:21 Signs a Man is Unhappy in Marriage 21:39 Why 80% of Divorces are Filed by the Wife 34:24 Emotional Abuse in Marriage 52:14 Questions and Comments
@emilybautista
@emilybautista 2 месяца назад
Husband shared your message with me and I'm a followers and a believer and have been changing ever since. Thanks for what you do ❤
@kat-601
@kat-601 Месяц назад
I would love to be able to talk to you about my situation. I'm so glad l found you. She has shut down lm at my end. Help
@thunderandrain09
@thunderandrain09 9 месяцев назад
How many men listening to this would like to share it with their wife but know they can’t because it would make things worse?
@906lane
@906lane 8 месяцев назад
💯
@larryrichins7887
@larryrichins7887 8 месяцев назад
It's too late for my wife. The divorce is almost final. I'm done! Time to move on.
@hemenwayhaulingllc1783
@hemenwayhaulingllc1783 8 месяцев назад
That's exactly what my counselor said !!
@cbylsma626
@cbylsma626 7 месяцев назад
Sometimes we just do it, just to see if she will actually consider it!
@DamianBadalamenti
@DamianBadalamenti 7 месяцев назад
💯
@stevelovescars
@stevelovescars 7 месяцев назад
The definition of marriage is a woman highlighting all of his flaws while he overlooks hers.
@sana-cm7oc
@sana-cm7oc 6 месяцев назад
It is a legal contract to make a good man into a celibate father that protect, provides and puts up with the irrational antics of a child.
@davemacgyver573
@davemacgyver573 6 месяцев назад
Damn you nailed it with that comment!
@headsupfiction8582
@headsupfiction8582 5 месяцев назад
Please, she has no flaws.
@robertduvall7392
@robertduvall7392 5 месяцев назад
@@headsupfiction8582 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@anointedone1995
@anointedone1995 5 месяцев назад
DED 😂😂😂 ​@@headsupfiction8582
@RaySmithWeb
@RaySmithWeb 10 месяцев назад
What a time we live in, to have an adult woman saying what men have been silently suffering from for...years...decades.
@millyardopeacecraft9778
@millyardopeacecraft9778 8 месяцев назад
more like generations.
@markcritic2409
@markcritic2409 7 месяцев назад
...and most women will call us "aboosive misoggynists" (sp) for daring to do the math out loud.
@sana-cm7oc
@sana-cm7oc 6 месяцев назад
Not exactly. She is advocating for the wife to emotionally abuse the husband for personal growth. This keeps the woman in control. It is feminism wrapped in red pill language.
@robertduvall7392
@robertduvall7392 5 месяцев назад
Thousands of millennia. Is that redundant? 😂
@alrom125
@alrom125 5 месяцев назад
@@robertduvall7392not really. 1000 millennia for example would be 1 million years lol
@98grad
@98grad 10 месяцев назад
My wife divorced me after 22+ years of marriage. Accused me of being an emotionally abusive narcissist. Anytime anyone asked her questions, or started to push back a little, she would shut it down and accuse them of being unsafe. Accountability is Kryptonite for women.
@JoeSmith-gb4ng
@JoeSmith-gb4ng 9 месяцев назад
At least you saved 8 years. Mine happened after 30 but just couldn't take it anymore. Why women won't learn how to grow and gain self esteem just boggles my mind. We're not perfect but we're not garbage either and I mean that for men and women. Let's learn to grow as people together like it was intended to be.
@joejones4296
@joejones4296 8 месяцев назад
Sounds very similar to my story. My ex wife had 5 books are narcissists. I would have continued living with her but she divorced me. She always had to be the victim. Destroyed our family. It was terrible. I'll never get over it.
@mikey92362
@mikey92362 8 месяцев назад
I have never once in my life met a divorced woman who didn't say her ex was emotionally abusive and a narcissist. When they say those things, you can bet with bear 100% certainly that she was the problem and that she initiated the divorce. They have to accuse the blindsided husband. Otherwise they'd actually be forced to accept some accountability and give up some of their victimhood status. They will never do that under any circumstances.
@mikey92362
@mikey92362 8 месяцев назад
@@JoeSmith-gb4ng They won't grow because when they're young they have all of their value in their looks and beauty. They never have to work and suffer to become of value. It's just handed to them. So naturally, when youth and beauty fade, they assume that their lower value is the fault of other people, so there's nothing for them to change and no need to grow or be better. When women have problems, people ask how society needs to change. When men have problems, people ask what he needs to do in order to change.
@phlontstu
@phlontstu 8 месяцев назад
I didn't get married but we got engaged Oct 2022 after over 4 years together, 3 living together. We hardly ever argued, worked from home those 3 years so were together pretty much 24/7. Jan this year she completely changed. Accused me of abuse/narcissism too. And And gave me an 1100 word 21 bullet point screed of what she disliked about me. She labeled it as her boundaries and things that made her feel disrespected. But truly she was just seeking to hurt me and establish a victim narrative so her friends and family wouldn't question her when she broke it off. It would have been nice if she had communicated her issues during the relationship instead of bottling them up to unload on me all at once when she was planning to break up. She didn't want to commit and is now with one of her male 'friends'. I'm still hurt and don't know if I'll ever feel whole again.
@TheCruxy
@TheCruxy 10 месяцев назад
"Many women want to be brides, Few (modern) women want to be wives"
@69saved
@69saved 7 месяцев назад
It's not always a matter of "want[ing]" to be a wife...some are trained to not fill the role, others are emotionally incapable of filling the role.
@bigtomboye
@bigtomboye 5 месяцев назад
​@@69savedhm good point
@GarfieldHiscock
@GarfieldHiscock 3 месяца назад
Balls dead-on accurate!
@lorenzmenke3121
@lorenzmenke3121 10 месяцев назад
My wife is unhappy because she's does not own a house (meaning I pay for it and she gets it in the end), we live in a nice house rental with low rent, she is unhappy because we do not own a new car (like all of her friends). We own two older cars in good working condition with no car payments. She is unhappy because we don't travel much. She turns down near 100% of my travel suggestions so I don't make any. I wait for her to decide what she wants to do. When she makes up her mind I do all the planning, driving, and events, etc. Lots of her friend travel. I have no debt, I am retired with two young girls. Sounds good to me. I suspect that most of her friends are heavy in debt (meaning that the husband pays it all).
@jefftube58
@jefftube58 10 месяцев назад
Your wife is a typical American wife - NEVER satisfied. This comes from being ungrateful for what she has and who she has.
@Savvynomad225
@Savvynomad225 10 месяцев назад
Another example that shows women aren’t oppressed, never were, but they are definitely always unhappy.
@isaiah6659
@isaiah6659 10 месяцев назад
😩... broooo!
@Hyunx999
@Hyunx999 10 месяцев назад
I just hate marriage as a man.
@AMNationMedia
@AMNationMedia 10 месяцев назад
Sounds like you need to get your balls back. You have given too much power of the relationship and power of yourself to her. Instead of making travel suggestions, next time make the plans then let her know and ask if she is coming or not. If she she says not coming, go without her. If she is complaining about the car, tell her she can buy a new one on her own if she’d like. Same for the house, ask her how much is she willing to contribute to the down payment and other costs? Men today have become soft and and simpish, allowing our wives to walk over us. I recommend that you read No More Mr Nice Guy by Dr Robert Glover. Change me for the better and changed my relationship with my wife. Still growing and learning but sir you definitely do not have power over yourself or the relationship. I have been there.
@Mareseilla
@Mareseilla 6 месяцев назад
My husband just found your videos and shared them with me. I am watching all the videos to help make myself a better wife and overall a better person. I know i am guilty of a lot of what this talks about, and while i am not pround of that i know all i can do is try and be better in the future.
@nomansland6376
@nomansland6376 6 месяцев назад
On behalf of your husband, thank you for watching with an open mind and willingness to self reflect.
@GardenerEarthGuy
@GardenerEarthGuy 6 месяцев назад
You should share with other women friends, if you have any. Good luck to you.
@bigtomboye
@bigtomboye 5 месяцев назад
Anyone can radically and dramatically improve and change their lives with your candid attitude 🙏 Bless you and your marriage ❤
@Carterironworks
@Carterironworks 5 месяцев назад
That's awesome that you where willing to take it with a positive attitude and also be willing to improve even if you where great before we can all be better. You're awesome! Keep it up.
@MonteCarloMartin
@MonteCarloMartin 5 месяцев назад
I hope you change because these behaviors are horrible.
@poopingwhilestanding5801
@poopingwhilestanding5801 9 месяцев назад
So refreshing to see a woman take accountability. Sadly, most marriage counselors side with the woman and blame the man for everything wrong in the relationship.
@robertanderson5092
@robertanderson5092 6 месяцев назад
Most marriage counselors are not Drs of psychology. The two Drs I took my ex to immediately diagnosed the problem. She dismissed both of them and insisted on going to a mail order degree counselor.
@robertduvall7392
@robertduvall7392 5 месяцев назад
@@robertanderson5092 😅😂🤣 Dodged that one she says to herself...
@mysticone1798
@mysticone1798 10 месяцев назад
Congratulations!!! You have literally broken through the societal matrix by which Americans view their pathetic, unhappy lives as NORMAL!!!! Our lives are actually ABNORMAL in the context of history, Christian/family values, and in terms of mental health. Even psychiatrists, relationship "experts", and psychologists rarely touch upon the truths you reveal in your talks!!! KEEP GOING!!!
@RodneyKimbangu
@RodneyKimbangu 10 месяцев назад
Boom! They don't talk about it because they need the repeat customer.
@mysticone1798
@mysticone1798 10 месяцев назад
@@RodneyKimbangu No kidding! Can't get the truth from anyone about men's issues!
@peripheralparadox4218
@peripheralparadox4218 6 месяцев назад
There’s the difference between being educated and wise.
@sven888
@sven888 23 дня назад
That’s why they should never have removed Bible classes from public schools. There’s so many good values in there and lessons. It is true that there are a lot of different religions in this country but still… I feel we have thrown out the baby with the bathwater. The correlation between the dropping of religion in high school and the destruction of the nuclear family is striking.
@mysticone1798
@mysticone1798 23 дня назад
@@sven888 It's all part of the godless, cultureless, Liberal Woke World Order's agenda!
@Sir_Viver
@Sir_Viver 10 месяцев назад
@39:15 the church has been doing the same thing for many decades now. Every counseling session and every mothers day, pastors and councellors tell wives they walk on water and smell like roses, no matter what she does wrong. Every counselling session and every fathers day, husbands are told how terrible they are, no matter what he is doing right...all in the name of god.
@starguy2718
@starguy2718 10 месяцев назад
Organized religion is a money-making grift. Faith was around long before religion was.
@onpointreview5819
@onpointreview5819 10 месяцев назад
Homer simpson
@Neoteny374
@Neoteny374 10 месяцев назад
I quit going to church on Father's day. I'm not mean to my wife, but I don't tolerate unwarranted disrespect. She knows I'm not going to sit there snd take it. My wife has heard me so many times before she can hear it as well as I can. ( such as waitresses ignoring me and only addressing her but then hand me the bill at the end)
@WatchfulHunter
@WatchfulHunter 10 месяцев назад
So church pastors and wives are the problem. Kick them both to the curb and live happy.
@thunderandrain09
@thunderandrain09 9 месяцев назад
Your church does that too. Hmmph. Thought it was just my church.
@cmair77
@cmair77 7 месяцев назад
Married 19 years, this is the most profound understanding of what good men are going through I've ever heard. This is what I'm living, but you've helped me to understand what I'm dealing with and what I can do. Thank you.
@ligafftheindifferent3495
@ligafftheindifferent3495 4 месяца назад
Just like in the Terminator movies.... "GET OUT".
@Savvynomad225
@Savvynomad225 10 месяцев назад
These wise words from an accountable woman’s advice will fall on deaf ears with any ladies under 35, sadly.
@SALTYCOMBATDIVER-ExInstructor
@SALTYCOMBATDIVER-ExInstructor 9 месяцев назад
And many married women over 35.
@dallasdesigner300
@dallasdesigner300 9 месяцев назад
Facts. Listening to this stream from my 20 year anniversary trip, smh
@SoloRenegade
@SoloRenegade 9 месяцев назад
women over 35 are getting divorced too, and making false allegations against men.
@RobertPool-nz5ss
@RobertPool-nz5ss 9 месяцев назад
The wall is first then they wanna level up so you can pay their bills.
@NhamshahSpah-ky-id6jo
@NhamshahSpah-ky-id6jo 8 месяцев назад
Their age is irrelevant, if they stopped maturing at 12.
@JG-wg4wg
@JG-wg4wg 7 месяцев назад
The courts support and reward the behavior.
@bigtomboye
@bigtomboye 5 месяцев назад
🎯
@donfranklin6956
@donfranklin6956 10 месяцев назад
It has taken me 25 years of marriage to learn that my wife does NOT have a monopoly on me. A man only allows a woman to make him feel "wrong" when he acts under the false assumption that she does hold a monopoly.
@rougebaba3887
@rougebaba3887 9 месяцев назад
I learned in a bit shorter time frame that my wife is going to treat me exactly as bad as I'll let her
@georgesontag2192
@georgesontag2192 9 месяцев назад
She does have the government and state divorce laws on her side. You cannot argue that fact.
@bdbgto1
@bdbgto1 9 месяцев назад
absolutely !@@georgesontag2192
@bdbgto1
@bdbgto1 9 месяцев назад
who can afford divorce?
@Icemario87
@Icemario87 3 месяца назад
​@@bdbgto1Your sanity can afford it.
@bazookacat8421
@bazookacat8421 9 месяцев назад
I own several successful businesses with satisfied customers. Deep lasting friendships. Routinely complimented on my home and cooking. But when I'm dating a woman, she notices that I'm stupid, disrespectful and messy. It's a mystery!
@dukethecolors
@dukethecolors 5 месяцев назад
I’ve never said my partner is stupid or messy, but I have told him when he’s hurt me through mean words. How does that then make him “wrong”?
@robertduvall7392
@robertduvall7392 5 месяцев назад
@@dukethecolors If you are in an abusive relationship, it's time you recognized that and get out if necessary. We are talking about abuse but from the other side, the side that gets a lot of help from a myriad of sources, a lot of behavior enabling. Counselors should know better, and churches should know better. If you ever said something that triggered your man, you have to admit that to yourself and do something about it. If you are faithful, honest with yourself and willing to admit to yourself that you are your own source of happiness, you need to recognize that his behavior is unacceptable and do something about it, for your sake. Just make sure you are not the reason these hurtful things are being said. If you are, you will take that problem to your next relationship.
@batswizzy6247
@batswizzy6247 5 месяцев назад
Oddly similar experience, I was in customer service for almost a decade and a car salesman for 4.5 yrs and my customers appreciated my empathy and solution and repoir skills and when I got home I was the problem always. Glad that thing is gone
@racebannon96
@racebannon96 5 месяцев назад
@@batswizzy6247 I could not doing anything right, but she dumped every responsibility and chore on me. After 10 years of marriage, she left the kids and me. The best gift she ever gave me was leaving.
@ligafftheindifferent3495
@ligafftheindifferent3495 4 месяца назад
Try dating outside the West. Your mind will be blown.
@c.c.hiliner1065
@c.c.hiliner1065 10 месяцев назад
I'm no longer a husband.....just a "resource" She has no interest in me other than what I can do for her. I'm wrong, and I've been miserable for 23 years. Marriage is my biggest regret in life.
@berniegiesbrecht5527
@berniegiesbrecht5527 10 месяцев назад
You have described my situation as if i wrote it.
@johntiggleman4686
@johntiggleman4686 9 месяцев назад
Yup. I've been told I am a good man, a good father and grandfather. But if I make a screw up, no matter how small, I get reamed. Yet if she screws up (she forgot to have me renew the license tabs for our vehicles), I didn't say much beyond "no big deal." A $10 late fee for both. Again, so what? If I had done that...well!
@allensharp6876
@allensharp6876 7 месяцев назад
Man I know EXACTLY how you feel. That’s what my 37 year marriage has always been.
@uncle_salty_3675
@uncle_salty_3675 7 месяцев назад
everyone tells me how great of a father / husband i am EXCEPT my wife who says the opposite
@arturoescorcia
@arturoescorcia 7 месяцев назад
I haven't been married for that long but I certainly feel the same way as you. I slowly became a provider/atm in my own marriage and when confronted with this she will always without hesitation point the finger back and start listing the reasons why I am the problem, never her, ever, not even by mistake, nope, she is flawless.
@michaelmichaelsjr.1352
@michaelmichaelsjr.1352 10 месяцев назад
All I ever asked for was to be met half way...now I get to live my life happily after she decided to divorce me
@leobramlett5118
@leobramlett5118 5 месяцев назад
You're a lucky man
@stormchaser419
@stormchaser419 5 месяцев назад
Never ever make the same mistake again...called marriage.
@geography_guy335
@geography_guy335 10 месяцев назад
Women sabotage their relationships when they attempt to control their husbands. If they are aren't obeyed they get really mad. If they are obeyed they lose respect for their husband. They are setting themselves up for failure. By improving oneself men don't become invulnerable to emasculation. We just become aware of it. It still hurts but I'm not being as gaslit as I used to be. I really thought my wife's behavior towards me was my fault.
@WatchfulHunter
@WatchfulHunter 10 месяцев назад
Point out her bad behavior. Then point out her childish emotional response. Watch her head explode.
@isaiah6659
@isaiah6659 10 месяцев назад
Stuck between a rock and a hard place. If you ask me, it's just better to do as the above ⬆️ comment says. Fight fire with fire. Call out that BS, and point out her childish responses. Sure, she'll get pissed. But then again, you're pissed as well 🤷🏻 She'll probably huff and puff, but at least she'll know that "Gator don't take no SHYT 😎"
@alexanderhamilton8585
@alexanderhamilton8585 10 месяцев назад
They DONT WANT to be in control. They WANT you to set em straight. To stand the F up to them. To leave them. Move out. Get a place of your own. Women don’t really like men. They lose all attraction for the man they live with. You have to move out. That’s the only way.
@jasoncarter4343
@jasoncarter4343 9 месяцев назад
The greatest power a man has in a marriage is the ability to walk away from his wife forever. If you don’t have that ability (your wife believes you’re a pu$$y and you won’t), you will end up being emasculated and unhappy. I only reward my wife for her good behavior. I call out and punish bad behavior immediately. My wife does not disrespect me. Occasionally, she calls me an a-hole. That’s when I know I’m doing my job as a man. I don’t care if she or other women call me misogynistic.
@raamtselon
@raamtselon 7 месяцев назад
I agree. Sadly. I also noticed that my wife would be influenced by her girl friends - married or not - they speak selfish suit and wonder why we "don't love" them... The other side is that men usually will not discuss their frustrations with other men, because it's "not manly" to "cry".
@awesomeness1414
@awesomeness1414 7 месяцев назад
My husband shared with me .At first I wouldn't watch .But I'm glad I did .❤Thank you for talking about it .
@nomansland6376
@nomansland6376 6 месяцев назад
Thank you for watching with an open mind.
@cincyoldude5766
@cincyoldude5766 6 месяцев назад
Thank you for having the fortitude to check this out. My wife heaved my phone at my head . Didn’t say a word . Point proven. Thank you .
@Carterironworks
@Carterironworks 5 месяцев назад
You are awesomeness! So many won't accept recommendations to improve, I'm sure he recommended it out of love and it's grate that you where humble enough to accept it and consider it. You're awesome! Keep it up.
@awesomeness1414
@awesomeness1414 5 месяцев назад
I'm now taking a parenting class
@zx900steve
@zx900steve 9 месяцев назад
Wow..... finally, woman speaking TRUTH about their responsibilities in the marriage realm. Kudos!
@Somerville431
@Somerville431 7 месяцев назад
I'm binge watching this channel to get myself ready for our 50th wedding anniversary in June. Our marriage is better than ever.
@paulbooij7594
@paulbooij7594 10 месяцев назад
Therapist asked me, "What brings you in tonight?" Me, "My wife says, this is all your fault, you have to change."
@onpointreview5819
@onpointreview5819 10 месяцев назад
I found having a therapist that's a women and minority worked out because she was able to take what I was saying and translate
@SALTYCOMBATDIVER-ExInstructor
@SALTYCOMBATDIVER-ExInstructor 9 месяцев назад
So many therapy sessions end in that same conclusion.
@thomaspower221
@thomaspower221 9 месяцев назад
Sadly, therapy just gave my wife the justification to leave. A therapist that does not treasure the belief in marriage for life, will ultimately fail, if the woman is hard-hearted and is looking for the fictitious greener pastures.
@philschuler9674
@philschuler9674 7 месяцев назад
You paid a therapist to hear that? What did you expect her to say?
@JC-bj5cv
@JC-bj5cv 8 месяцев назад
Every wise woman builds her house, but a foolish one tears it down with her own hands. ... Wisdom builds her house, but Folly tears hers down with her own hands. Proverbs 14
@JimBischoff1184
@JimBischoff1184 7 месяцев назад
Truth .
@IBNED
@IBNED 3 месяца назад
It is better to live in the wilderness than with an angry and a contentious woman
@catsgotmytongue
@catsgotmytongue 6 месяцев назад
As a husband I can totally relate to the constant messages and the constant criticism. I hadn't considered it emotional abuse until now.
@croneyr
@croneyr 9 месяцев назад
I grew up watching my mom do this stuff to my dad. My only goal in my dating life was not to be "stuck" like my dad.
@bigboy11271
@bigboy11271 7 месяцев назад
I failed… I’m just like my dad-stuck. He told me as a high schooler, “if it weren’t for me and my brothers he’d a left years ago.” Now I totally understand.
@Jaco3688
@Jaco3688 6 месяцев назад
Did one of my kids write this? 😳
@bigtomboye
@bigtomboye 5 месяцев назад
Same, and over time i grow to see this is how i grew up to be a content male-attracted post-op mtf dysphoric tr𝕏nny🤔 this channel is fascinating🔎
@jdl2180
@jdl2180 6 месяцев назад
I've made a lot of mistakes in my life but getting married wasn't one of them, thank God!
@WatchfulHunter
@WatchfulHunter 10 месяцев назад
I just erased a bunch of baggage to write some encouragement to wives. Your lives will become awesome if you encourage your husbands every day. Dance with him at the Christmas party. Talk to him. Ask him what he wants. Make him a sandwich outside of normal mealtime. Laugh with him. Ask him about his past and learn who he is. Show you care about him. Let him be the boss. If he is angry, ask why and listen without being defensive. If he is frustrated, ask what you can do to help. Be the helper. Be willing to change. Accept responsibility. Share your feelings with him at home. Not on a phone call to him at work. I didn't get this. I have no desire to have another person in my home now.
@raamtselon
@raamtselon 7 месяцев назад
You described my wife....who also filed for divorce because..."she no longer loves me"..
@69saved
@69saved 7 месяцев назад
You are a treasure to your husband.
@consciousgentile5141
@consciousgentile5141 6 месяцев назад
Fantastic post. What marriage should be
@sana-cm7oc
@sana-cm7oc 6 месяцев назад
They don't want that. They want drama and excitement because that is what other women tell them.
@mark0bravo
@mark0bravo 4 месяца назад
What you’ve written is pure “toxic masculinity” in 2024 🤡🤡🤡
@lucas911611
@lucas911611 9 месяцев назад
We should protect this woman at all cost. She is saying as if she life history. My Ex never appreciated me. No matter what I did for her. Yet, I learned in life that if I ever had an injury, she would never be there for me. At the end she falsly accused me being controling and she brain washed my kids. Thanks God that I have an amazing wife now.
@velcroman11
@velcroman11 9 месяцев назад
I grew up with a woman, a faux mother, that used emotional black mail on my brother and I every day. “You are a good boy when you do what I want and I love you. You are bad boy when you don’t do what I want AND I DO’NT LOVE YOU AT ALL. I consider this as an effective way to ensure that I grew having utterly no concept of my self worth.
@smokingcrab2290
@smokingcrab2290 7 месяцев назад
Literally my mom
@MattTheBandGuy
@MattTheBandGuy 7 месяцев назад
Ex-wife #2 told me when we were dating that she didn't want to change me. When it was the beginning of the end of our relationship, she kept mentioning how much I needed to change!
@jccoey
@jccoey 8 дней назад
We all project our fears and hopes. "I don't want to change you," is really a subconscious tell.
@jimmahr.4665
@jimmahr.4665 9 месяцев назад
If she doesn't want you, there is nothing you can do. If she wants you, there is nothing you have to do. 29:30
@sven888
@sven888 23 дня назад
So simple yet very true.
@donovanwilliams5424
@donovanwilliams5424 9 месяцев назад
I am legitimately damaged from my relationship with my soon to be ex. And she doesn't think that she has done anything wrong.
@69saved
@69saved 7 месяцев назад
It will take time to reset your thinking....my soon to be ex was a master at shaping my self-concept, making me think that I was the source of every problem in the marriage. Her dad molested her, slapped her mom around. Her twin brother molested her and she and her older brother did stuff from 12 to 18, ending on his wedding day. She brought a ton of baggage into the marriage. and left it unaddressed for over 30 years. When I had the gall to bring that up and tell her we both need to work on ourselves, she couldn't deal with it and filed for divorce when I told her that I wasn't going to ' unilaterally 'work on myself' for 6 months, let her continue with her blameless victim narrative, and then let her decide whether or not I was good enough for her. She hid her past from me for decades, including before I signed the marriage contract. No wonder we never pair/bonded. I always sensed there was something missing that other couples had in their relationships. It wasn't until she left and I was away from all of her drqma that I was able to think more clearly and purge myself from her manipulation of reality.
@terryhyde8380
@terryhyde8380 6 месяцев назад
I know, they’re so self consumed they can’t see it.
@sana-cm7oc
@sana-cm7oc 6 месяцев назад
Find a BJJ school brother. Start training and take care of yourself because the only woman that will was your mother.
@bigtomboye
@bigtomboye 5 месяцев назад
Bless you sir🙏 Pain can be growth, friend. Do not give up MrWilliams🫂 Your damage now is strength later💪
@sven888
@sven888 23 дня назад
Normal relationship is already difficult, but when a woman was abused, the relationship becomes even more difficult because she will see any attempt of affection as a violation. I guess some woman can work around it with therapy, but many others don’t. It’s sad for the woman because she is the victim, but it’s also sad for the husband because he suffers to for things that are completely beyond his control. I think men always like to rescue woman, but it doesn’t always work. Stay strong brother.
@thomaspower221
@thomaspower221 9 месяцев назад
If alcohol has become your husbands helpmeet, this could be because you stopped being there for him. Become your husband's biggest fan. Support everything he does. Pack him a healthy lunch every day, because you care about his health. Provide him a safe home, free of stress because his work day was hard enough. Prepare him a delicious and healthful meal. Take care of him in the marital bed. 🙏
@jimosborne2
@jimosborne2 7 месяцев назад
A man’s drinking is his own responsibility! He’s unhappy or was traumatized. She can support him to the max but only as long as he accepts full responsibility for himself. Blaming parents or spouses for one’s addictions is BS. Each person take responsibility for their own decisions and life.
@elefanteluzvioleta
@elefanteluzvioleta 7 месяцев назад
Thanks for the good advice
@loneknight100
@loneknight100 6 месяцев назад
She didn't say it was the wife's responsibility... She basically described a situation where the man is responsible for his own drinking, and he's choosing to do more drinking because he is unhappy in his marriage. Don't pretend that a person you live with doesn't influence your happiness.
@dukethecolors
@dukethecolors 5 месяцев назад
@@jimosborne2agreed
@camo6344
@camo6344 Месяц назад
@@jimosborne2alcohol deadens the feeling for sex so it reduces frustration that’s all
@ruirodtube
@ruirodtube 5 месяцев назад
31:10 “The ultimate reason that 80% of divorces are filed by women is because they’re selfish and self-centered and put their own unhappiness ahead of the commitments that they made in being a wife and oftentimes a mother”. This perfectly describes my ex-wife, married for 14 years with two children. I’ve been listening to this quote for two weeks and it’s perfect.
@sven888
@sven888 23 дня назад
Sad but true. 🙏
@kiko8u
@kiko8u 9 месяцев назад
Honestly if any man was to behave in this way he would be labelled a complete narcissist instantly. This is extremely toxic behaviour.
@brianwalk108
@brianwalk108 8 месяцев назад
After years I was able to put my finger on my problem. I was bringing facts to arguments where she “felt” something was wrong. I did everything I could to present facts but no matter how much I could prove 2+2=4 I was wrong and argumentative because she might feel like 2+2=3 that particular day and I was supposed to be sympathetic to her feeling, not correct her, even when her “feeling” was mathmatically incorrect, ugh
@smokingcrab2290
@smokingcrab2290 7 месяцев назад
I'm so tired of the insane standards men are held to. We're faced with the insurmountable task of guessing how to manage the inner life of reality deniers who get a free pass just because of their gender. And if we guess wrong or don't want to even play the sick game, we're labeled as weak, untrustworthy, and stupid. All because we don't want to go along with their delusions and abuse. And no matter how loving we are, they refuse to reason with us.
@ligafftheindifferent3495
@ligafftheindifferent3495 4 месяца назад
You are dealing with a child. You won't fix anything by coddling her. Require her to grow up or find a new victim.
@rougebaba3887
@rougebaba3887 9 месяцев назад
My wife may well be on the upper end of the scale. She had open heart surgery in April of 2007. I took care of her during her long recovery. Most everything about house and the money fell on me. I did it and did it to the best of my ability. I helped her bath. I prepared meals. I would rub her back for literally hours. I helped her dress and keep her meds straight. Of course our once every 6 to 8 week sex night went by the wayside for 8 straight months. She was doing way better by Christmas. I thought i had finally earned her respect and appreciation... as if that was ever possible. I wanted intimacy again. I wanted to be romantic. Well that year I got a surprise bonus from my boss for my hard work and I spent it all on my wife. I bought her a very nice gold necklace and had it specially wrapped for Christmas. My plan was when she opened it and was gushing over it and me with surprise and appreciation, i was going to say, "Lets ring in the New Year with that on your neck, baby." Christmas morning came and I watched as she opened it. She raised the lid, looked at it for just a moment, then closed it and tossed it aside like it was nothing. She not only didn't thank me, she didn't even look at me. But what is worse is that after presents were out of the way, she came up to question me.... 'I have a question. Why would you buy me a necklace?" I was already disappointed by her nonreaction, but now i was confused. But even then I returned a positive affirmation, "I thought it was beautiful and would look great on you." And then she proceeded to talk to me like I'm a complete idiot.... "I had surgery, you know that, right? I have a scar, you can see that, right? I'm not wearing necklaces right now, so why would you do that?" And then she turned and walked away.
@johntiggleman4686
@johntiggleman4686 9 месяцев назад
Man, that is one cold woman. Take it back and buy something for yourself with the money. Of course, she will undoubtedly ream you out for that as well. You don't need that kind of shit in your life. I'm not telling you to divorce her, but that is an option, and your decision.
@rougebaba3887
@rougebaba3887 9 месяцев назад
@@johntiggleman4686 That necklace sat on her dresser in it's box for several weeks. I took it and was considering returning it. I also wanted to see if my wife would even notice it was gone. Sadly, I even considered using the money to buy her something different, like a pair of earrings. But the absolutely horrible way she had treated me over a GIFT (along with years and years of complete contemptuous behavior towards me) made me decide she wasn't worth the effort. Nothing I ever gave her seemed good enough anyway. A short time later I gave it to someone else - a very good friend who had fallen on hard times and was lamenting the fact that he had nothing to offer his woman for Valentines day. He later told me his girlfriend was beaming with appreciation. "Hey man, you got me laid!" Good for him!! As for my wife, if she noticed it was gone, she never said a word about it.
@joejones4296
@joejones4296 8 месяцев назад
Terrible.
@alyssonhartmann8061
@alyssonhartmann8061 8 месяцев назад
What an amazing husband you are. Sad that she is too blind and programmed to see it. It will be her loss for sure if she doesn’t wake up soon. I agree with the others that said do things to make yourself happy in the meantime until she wakes up.
@chuckdthefirst6698
@chuckdthefirst6698 8 месяцев назад
Did you return it? And did you get something else?
@FafnirSiggurdson
@FafnirSiggurdson 5 месяцев назад
I asked my wife to watch a portion of this, and she told me I don’t need to bring her into my brainwashing
@smania7575
@smania7575 6 месяцев назад
It took me almost 10 years to fully understand this. Thankfully, my husband is a great man who was willing to guide me on a path to love myself more. We don't have a perfect marriage, but we have such a better marriage now. And I can't even explain how much I love and adore him and it's nowhere near what I felt when we first got married. It's so much more.
@robertduvall7392
@robertduvall7392 5 месяцев назад
You are better for everyone, but especially yourself for actually accepting that responsibility and then doing something about it. It's easier to just get a divorce. But the problem just stays with us when we do that. Everyone has flaws; few are willing to address them.
@MonteCarloMartin
@MonteCarloMartin 5 месяцев назад
Since it took you ten years and you finally got it I have a question for you. Why did it take you so long to realize the obvious? What was wrong with you?
@smania7575
@smania7575 5 месяцев назад
@@MonteCarloMartin Childhood trauma, years of feminist lies, and a narcissistic mother. My husband had a similar set of issues which made it tough for him to learn the truth. Once he did, he was able to help guide me down the right path. Next time, instead of assuming it's obvious for everyone, maybe try some empathy. These videos wouldn't need to be made if this information was obvious. And modern day feminism is insidious. You are made to think it's good gradually until you're so far in you don't realize how bad it is. It's like a cult, or the Democratic party.
@MonteCarloMartin
@MonteCarloMartin 5 месяцев назад
@smania7575 I feel these things are very obvious. It’s called fact, logic and truth. And I notice that you blame it on everyone except your own self. Accountability. You say you understand just like most women do but I don’t believe it to be true. These things are very obvious. The problem is women emotions trump everything including truth and logic. That’s the real problem.
@smania7575
@smania7575 5 месяцев назад
@@MonteCarloMartin LOL. I never blamed it on anyone else. Both my husband chose to believe what we told as we were growing up. We learned we wrong later in life. You seem like you're angry at the world or something by trying to put people down for not seeing what you see as obvious. Why would these videos need to be made if everyone saw this information as obvious? Why would there be tons of videos with content like this trying to teach women AND men the truth if it was obvious? You lack empathy for other people and it shows as you cannot see how people can become misguided. And I do agree that emotions trump logic often with women. That was tough for me to work on when I first started learning the truth. My husband was emotionally volatile when he was younger as well. He thinks it was due to how he was raised (his mom is an emotionally volatile woman and his dad is a simp). But, when we both learned the truth, we worked to correct ourselves. Just the other night, my husband made a HUGE greasey mess in the kitchen. Was I upset? Yes. But, I let myself have 30 seconds to feel upset, without vocalizing it, then asked if he would help me clean it up. People can learn to control their emotions, but it's often that no one teaches them. If no one teaches a child to control their emotions, they become adults that don't know how to control their emotions. If those adults never learn to control their emotions, and they have kids, they don't teach their kids to control their emotions because they don't know how. It's a vicious cycle that only the individual can change going forward. But, long story short, don't be so rude. You made assumptions on me blaming everyone else while choosing not to ask where my thoughts were. Sounds like you used emotion over logic in hopes to catch me in a lie or something.
@neorev01
@neorev01 9 месяцев назад
I told her I wanted a divorce on our anniversary. I couldn't file it myself because I didn't have everyone's social security numbers and I asked her to give them to me. She filed for divorce instead so I feel a little cheated out of my statistic. The answer to why women file for divorce more often than men is because we have hope longer. Even after they file, we still have hope that it can be turned around. I love your videos, they are very spot-on and you have described my soon-to-be-ex and our former relationship perfectly and you've made it easier for me to avoid falling into the same trap next time
@GardenerEarthGuy
@GardenerEarthGuy 6 месяцев назад
You picked the best day to tell her! 😂 I told my ex on her birthday because she was an obnoxious drunk and I had hated her for years. While she was passed out drunk I drove away and never spoke to her again. I hated her so much and angry I spent so many years with that creature. Good luck man!
@LazyH1984
@LazyH1984 5 месяцев назад
Hope was your problem. It's like a drug. Hope-ium
@ricardolivori9409
@ricardolivori9409 8 месяцев назад
I would love to share this video with my wife, but after being physically assaulted by her, I had to place a protective order on her. I still love her and do not want a divorce but I have to also consider the abuse that she has directed toward our 15 yr son. I'm angry and sad at the same time, and have myself and son in therapy. My wife however, is not in therapy even after being arresting and considers herself as unhappy and abused.
@JohnSaylock-ec4cd
@JohnSaylock-ec4cd 5 месяцев назад
I had went though that.... Sheed get pissed and punch me.... I never went there myself.
@dustinquinton
@dustinquinton 8 месяцев назад
I am so glad that I am on my own. So much peace. My ex wife never said that she was sorry for anything. Ever! To me, that was not being accountable and I was always wrong. There are always exceptions to the rule, but for the most part, women are not accountable. They don’t take responsibility and never say that they are sorry.
@pyrhoe
@pyrhoe 8 месяцев назад
If you think always being wrong as a husband is bad, wait until you're always right.
@lukenielsen8397
@lukenielsen8397 10 месяцев назад
It's all fine and good, "Not taking her emasculation personally" until it isn't... You know, like she has an affair with another man... Ruins 26 years of being together, even after you stuck with her and put up with her "crap" and tried to help her find her "Happiness" within... Not saying I was a "Perfect" husband, but I was a damned good one... At the end of the day, the heart ache and wounds from putting up with that "Crap" only to be discarded. Yeah. Now, I'm not willing to sacrifice any longer for a woman. I'm old enough now, I'm just going my own way.
@dwwolf4636
@dwwolf4636 10 месяцев назад
No one's perfect. Any claims as to that being a cause is gaslighting.
@Savvynomad225
@Savvynomad225 10 месяцев назад
Nothing wrong with going your own way. The bonus hole isn’t worth the pain it can bring and proverbs knew that all along.
@robertharte4
@robertharte4 10 месяцев назад
Right there with you. The modern woman knows nothing of true happiness. It is pointless.
@JohnnyD69FG
@JohnnyD69FG 9 месяцев назад
Hope you enjoy the best years of your life!
@c.c.hiliner1065
@c.c.hiliner1065 9 месяцев назад
I think women don't want smooth sailing, they need fucking "drama" If they don't find it, they'll make it. I don't even want to touch them anymore, it's not worth it.
@rock4891
@rock4891 6 месяцев назад
I did make 1 change as to how I listen to this RU-vid. I used to listen in my cave with the door shut and with headphones / ( NOW ) door is wide open , volume is set to HI , NO HEAD PHONES, I'm hoping she will hear some of this wise wisdom this Lady has to say.
@stevephillips4622
@stevephillips4622 6 месяцев назад
6 months free of an explosive and disrespctful GF. As much as I tried to "convince" her of her disrespect, she would gaslight me and play the victim, calling ME toxic and manipulative! No accountability...ever! She knows I was good to her but she forfeited a potentially good and healthy relationship because of her ego and emotional immaturity. She removed gifts she gave me from my house, drove across my yard, shoved me, threw a glass in her rage over the most minor things. If she had a bad day I knew I would be her emotional punching bag. No more. She had me, now shes lost me forever.
@sana-cm7oc
@sana-cm7oc 6 месяцев назад
a woman can bring happiness and kindness into your life or not. if not then dump her
@John6.47
@John6.47 6 месяцев назад
Zero contact is the fastest road to healing, your self-respect will be powerful
@sven888
@sven888 23 дня назад
Gratitude is a beautiful word. We tend to forget how lucky we are to be alive. Everything is a gift. Wish we could all understand each other better and love each other more.
@lorenzmenke3121
@lorenzmenke3121 10 месяцев назад
Every women should watch this episode starting in 1-12 grade at least one per year then monthly from 18 + then weekly when dating then daily if some guy will marry them.
@PlanetOfTheApes999
@PlanetOfTheApes999 8 месяцев назад
Men should watch it too.
@lorenzmenke3121
@lorenzmenke3121 10 месяцев назад
LMAO yes the wife is the first to claim that the husband does not follow his oath and vows when she does not even know how to spell the word or pronounce it or what it even means!
@dr.vonslifeinvesting6485
@dr.vonslifeinvesting6485 10 месяцев назад
I suggest you study the story of Adam and Eve to understand why women treat men the way they do. Eve’s desire was for her husband meaning she wanted to be in charge but God had assigned that to Adam. Then sin entered the world through Eve because even though God gave her everything she needed in the garden it wasn’t wait for it……….enough she wanted more. Adam’s failure was then going along with Eve instead of telling her no. On another point to me the worst emotional abuse I received was being physically rejected hundreds of times in my marriage and I thought it was something I needed to fix.
@bigtomboye
@bigtomboye 5 месяцев назад
🐍🌳 Well, Eve and Adam each commit the exact same sin, they're no different. Adam had his chance to say No 🍎 🌳 🍃
@mistergoodcitizen9914
@mistergoodcitizen9914 3 месяца назад
Because of eves original sin god said the punishment was women would be under male authority for the rest of their lives.
@mistergoodcitizen9914
@mistergoodcitizen9914 3 месяца назад
@@bigtomboyethey are different ones male ones female.
@sven888
@sven888 23 дня назад
somehow the Adam and Eve story has never been entirely clear to me. I’m sure originally there was a much deeper meaning that we no longer understand.
@damionhenry6730
@damionhenry6730 6 месяцев назад
You are a God sent, May the Most High continue to give you wisdom to speak for men and women to have a better result in marriage. Much blessings sis!🇯🇲
@Sal834
@Sal834 9 месяцев назад
Wow, is this channel real?!? This is exactly what I am facing. Three marriage counselors all told her the same and she absolutely refused to change. Each made her get independant help and she refuses to accept that anything is wrong with her. The last counselor called her out and she charged the chair screaming at her. Needless to say that was the last session with her. Our parish priest wanted to commit her. The insanity is just off the charts. So I am good with me and working on me and walk away from all of what she does and it only makes her more upset. So bad that my daughters see it and swear they never want to be like her. I need to keep watching your videos. I just wish she would watch even one. Thank you for all you do and the unimaginable hate you must receive from so many women who are blind. I personally get parole in another 8 years, if that long, because of my youngest daughter. I can't wait! Sweet freedom.
@JohnnyD69FG
@JohnnyD69FG 9 месяцев назад
As a man, when you realize you will always be in the doghouse for something, you are actually quite liberated. You stop worrying about it and just go about your life trying to minimize the interaction with the albatross around your neck. If you did something, you shouldn't have. If you did something, you should have done it differently, or earlier, or later. If you didn't do something, you should have. Coming home after a long day and getting machine gunned the second you walk through the door with a bunch of petty "problems", many of which aren't actually problems, or exist just inside her head/fantasy, or are things she could have dealt with on her own. Men protect your peace. Do not get married it just isn't worth it. If you have the urges, go to a professional every so often - that'll be cheaper than burying yourself in a crappy "relationshit" with an energy vampire.
@steverogers7381
@steverogers7381 9 месяцев назад
I think I married your wife's twin sister.
@nerychristian
@nerychristian 7 месяцев назад
@@steverogers7381 I think I married your wife's long lost cousin
@uncle_salty_3675
@uncle_salty_3675 7 месяцев назад
bingo
@junkerdude2927
@junkerdude2927 10 месяцев назад
Good video. I need to interject at this point. When she leaves the marriage because she doesn’t feel happy is not quite right. When she does this, it’s because she has already violated her vows. Blowing out of there is a phenomenon of already committing crimes against her husband and the marriage. Never before her crimes of the marriage. This same phenomenon exists in men. Thus it is easy to see who has the marital crimes. The fist and most important sign of this is her senseless carping and criticism that comes out of nowhere. You know you haven’t done anything wrong. You have to catch it right then and there. She will step it up as a result. If you get into a fight…that will give her a justification for her marital violations. Thus she jumps to being right. Being wrong makes her responsible. She can’t have that.
@bz7901
@bz7901 6 месяцев назад
I handled the "being wrong" thing by arguing back relentlessly when I knew I wasn't actually wrong.
@NhamshahSpah-ky-id6jo
@NhamshahSpah-ky-id6jo 8 месяцев назад
It’s depressing to think of how much time and effort I invested to make her “happy”. It was liberating to finally realize there was nothing I could do (or stop doing) to make her “happy”. Years of therapy, that I attended ALONE, were such a waste of time. Money and transportation were made available to have her attend therapy. And somehow, something always got in the way (conveniently) so that she could never continue. Had to come to the conclusion that she doesn’t want to fix whatever the issues are.
@paul5471
@paul5471 9 месяцев назад
Thank you for your show! I've left my wife of 32 years and have tried to be the solid thing that can make her happy and to no avail. So I left and feel such relief. I wish her well on her quest for happiness!
@SoloRenegade
@SoloRenegade 9 месяцев назад
Exactly right, it's emotional ABUSE that women dish out.
@kirillnadtochiy5039
@kirillnadtochiy5039 7 месяцев назад
I just needed someone to tell me I'm not crazy.
@nomansland6376
@nomansland6376 6 месяцев назад
You aren’t crazy.
@sana-cm7oc
@sana-cm7oc 6 месяцев назад
you aren't crazy. find a BJJ school and start training.
@SoloRenegade
@SoloRenegade 9 месяцев назад
Keep this in mind. As a single man, I work a fulltime job, I mow the lawn, clear the snow from teh driveway, take out the trash, clean the bathroom, clean teh kitchen, do the dishes and laundry, I do all the cooking, do all the shopping, pay all the bills, fix the car, garden, can food, meal plan, volunteer in STEM programs, build things in the shop, sew things back together (leather, bags, clothes, etc.), enjoy my many hobbies, read, etc. All of that without a woman in my life. If men like me get into relationships, and later we're not doing certain things anymore like we used to......it's not us, it's you. We were fine without you, now we're not fine with you. Think about that, what changed in our lives? Women are never happy, never satisfied, and think they are right even when their intellect is far inferior to the man they are married to.
@mistergoodcitizen9914
@mistergoodcitizen9914 3 месяца назад
Same boat and I’m not willing to compromise with a woman because I simply don’t have to.
@SoloRenegade
@SoloRenegade 3 месяца назад
@@mistergoodcitizen9914 I'm willing to compromise, but only if she is too. and for what I offer her, she has to reciprocate with something/s i consider to be of equal value. I can actually list a number of things women can offer me. yet when I ask women what they offer, not one of them can name a single thing, even though I have quite a list (I actually typed it up and saved it) of correct answers a woman could give me. Women don't know how to be women anymore.
@mistergoodcitizen9914
@mistergoodcitizen9914 2 месяца назад
@@SoloRenegade totally agree. I say I won’t compromise because I know a woman isn’t bringing no where near what I’m bringing to the table.
@markrussell2206
@markrussell2206 10 месяцев назад
Yes that was definitely my experience. It was either her way or the highway, I took the highway and divorce her!
@crozbdawg
@crozbdawg 5 месяцев назад
I have prayed God would raise up women that can lead others! This stuff is 🔥💪 Thank you for stepping up!!!
@LlewellynScholtz360
@LlewellynScholtz360 5 месяцев назад
I am in tears this morning because of this video! I was struggling to cry for quite some time, this video has done it...😢
@Soulja4ChristWeAreAtWar
@Soulja4ChristWeAreAtWar 6 месяцев назад
The greatest love language towards a woman, especially your wife, is the word and action of NO.
@krazyswede11
@krazyswede11 10 месяцев назад
Karen thank you for your podcast you have taught me about the nature of women. My father taught that one has to overcome our animal nature. Thank you for helping women see theirs and overcoming it
@thehappywifeschool
@thehappywifeschool 10 месяцев назад
Thank you for listening and supporting my channel. Bless you.
@fredemmer
@fredemmer 10 месяцев назад
My experience was that as I began to see the emasculating behaviors for what they were, they did begin to just bounce off… But that was just the first iteration of the game. As I grew in resilience, so too did the cruelty of her behaviors. The stronger I became, the more difficulty I had to face. Ultimately it was like I had made it to the top of Mount Everest… but I died from exhaustion on the way down because The cruel behaviors just escalated. The fact that she loved me but could still not see how destructive her behaviors were practically drove me to madness.
@starguy2718
@starguy2718 10 месяцев назад
Why did you stay married to that harpy? Life is too short, my friend.
@onpointreview5819
@onpointreview5819 10 месяцев назад
@fredemmer your words hit me hard, I'm sorry!
@GregtheGrey6969
@GregtheGrey6969 10 месяцев назад
Same story
@jasoncarter4343
@jasoncarter4343 9 месяцев назад
Men who have self respect do not put up with this behavior.
@alexanderhamilton8585
@alexanderhamilton8585 9 месяцев назад
A man’s response to difficulty is to toughen up, and persist. Continue Mission. It’s how our ancestors won battles. We are the children of tough, stoic enduring, uncomplaining soldiers. It’s in our DNA to ignore problems
@umarnca
@umarnca 5 месяцев назад
My wife who was emotionally unavailable and abusive for almost 10 years, the day I realized what I was putting up with, I told her that we should get divorced, she started blackmailing me and would threaten to take my kids away. I would always give in thinking its too much damage. She kept “trying” in her words for 5 years. Trying basically meant guilting and blackmailing me in hopes of me shutting up. Fast forward to today I am in the process of divorce because I cannot waste another second of my life in misery.
@lonewolfmgtow7187
@lonewolfmgtow7187 7 месяцев назад
Oh, and another thing, I forgot to mention, this is why I would never get married. This just proves my point that marriage is dangerous for men because of the true valid points that this lady is making real talk.
@sakalava47
@sakalava47 7 месяцев назад
Just to be fair... let me express gratitude for my wife that she does admit when she's wrong. She has some humility and grace.
@AverageAufa
@AverageAufa 2 месяца назад
I dislike how most of these men in this comment section focuses SOLELY on their wives’ flaws and not mentioning a single good thing about their wife. You can’t just point the finger at your wife and blame the destruction of the marriage on their wife. Marriage to work takes BOTH parties. I have never once said I am perfect or have never made any mistakes. I literally go to counselling and psychologists to work on my own flaws. But if you point out every single flaw of your wife as the reason your marriage is failing and not looking at your own flaws too… how is that fair? I honestly disagree with her on most points. There are men who treat their wives the exact same way back. Some men get even more defensive.
@christys.3912
@christys.3912 Месяц назад
And there is a such thing as a good woman. She refuses to say good woman. I wonder if she nows sees herself as a good woman. Because in my opinion anyone that can accept they are wrong and change is good. None are perfect. I agree with alot she says, but yea it is a bit one sided. And she refuses to say some women can be different then she was. Yes, women have most of the tendencies she says, but not all act on them. And some pf us actually do respect our husband's and don't always allow our emotions to control how we treat them. And yes, men can be very defensive if you call them out on something.
@funcygames
@funcygames Месяц назад
​@@AverageAufashe's focusing on a specific all too common problem of good men's lives getting ruined for a reason. If you have a different message to give about a different problem feel free to start your own podcast
@lucianom.5855
@lucianom.5855 10 месяцев назад
I wasn’t the perfect husband. I could have been better, I have many regrets. I’ll never forget that gut wrenching feeling I used to have when my ex and I argued, her telling me that she wasn’t happy and it was all my fault as she listed all the things. She told me that she regrets leaving the marriage as it hurt me and our children. I haven’t had that sickening feeling in my stomach since our divorce.
@phlontstu
@phlontstu 8 месяцев назад
My ex wrote the list out. 1100 words, 21 bullet points. No communication of what upset her during the relationship. She put on a very good facade of happiness until she unloaded on me. Interesting how there are these similarities. They have a schema.
@uncle_salty_3675
@uncle_salty_3675 7 месяцев назад
same bro, except i'm lucky my son is a teenager so the div doesn't seem to hurt him very much but who knows in the long run. its been 3months since she left and i only get that sickening feeling when she hits me up with some bullshit for some reason
@smokingcrab2290
@smokingcrab2290 7 месяцев назад
What's the worst you did? Get mad while you stood up for yourself? That's about the extent of all of modern women's greivences with men. If we get mad when we're treated like shit, we're equated with domestic abusers.
@phlontstu
@phlontstu 7 месяцев назад
@@smokingcrab2290 100% agree
@consciousgentile5141
@consciousgentile5141 6 месяцев назад
May God heal your pain, and your family
@billymayshere.o
@billymayshere.o 3 месяца назад
and when we finaly sometimes after all the arguing and logic and feelings, prove you are right, they say "it's the way you say it"
@LV-1969
@LV-1969 10 месяцев назад
I love this channel. Very calm approach and easy to listen to the conversation. Always a great job
@bumpercoach
@bumpercoach 10 месяцев назад
It's like how girls enjoy little horse statues and posters and if lucky to get into horse riding themselves... Here's this magnificent powerful creature who has to do what she says... And it's very rare that as a grown woman, they can get over that idea that they're supposed to be controlling the powerful beast which will just do what she says
@isaiah6659
@isaiah6659 10 месяцев назад
😳 whoa. That's DEEP
@bumpercoach
@bumpercoach 10 месяцев назад
maybe @@isaiah6659 but the correlation (CORRALation) is rather see-it-cant-unsee-it
@alexanderhamilton8585
@alexanderhamilton8585 10 месяцев назад
Yup. Horse girls are impossible.
@allensharp6876
@allensharp6876 7 месяцев назад
My wife had horses for 30 years and I was ALWAYS behind all of the horses from day one of our marriage. She had seven horses so you can imagine where I was in the pecking order. So if want to call me a passive dumb ass you would be right.
@smokingcrab2290
@smokingcrab2290 7 месяцев назад
All women's romance movies and erotic fiction all involve some kind of powerful man that the woman "tames" and he changes because of her. Problem is the movies never end the way it does in real life - with the woman resenting the man she tamed.
@uprightmovement
@uprightmovement 10 месяцев назад
“Marriage is not a love affair. A love affair is a totally different thing. A marriage is a commitment to that which you are. That person is literally your other half. And you and the other are one. A love affair isn't that. That is a relationship for pleasure, and when it gets to be unpleasurable, it's off. But a marriage is a life commitment, and a life commitment means the prime concern of your life. If marriage is not the prime concern, you're not married....The Puritans called marriage "the little church within the Church." In marriage, every day you love, and every day you forgive. It is an ongoing sacrament - love and forgiveness.... Like the yin/yang symbol....Here I am, and here she is, and here we are. Now when I have to make a sacrifice, I'm not sacrificing to her, I'm sacrificing to the relationship. Resentment against the other one is wrongly placed. Life in the relationship, that's where your life now is. That's what a marriage is - whereas, in a love affair, you have two lives in a more or less successful relationship to each other for a certain length of time, as long as it seems agreeable.” ― Joseph Campbell, The Power of Myth
@neohermitist
@neohermitist 10 месяцев назад
Marriage outside a patriarchal society is not worth it for men.
@Hebrewess8
@Hebrewess8 6 месяцев назад
Weak, unhappy women think if they emasculate their men and make them weaker, they’ll be happier. What a lie from the pit of hell!!!! Strong, self confident men are SAFE!!! They’re not dangerous! Unless we’re afraid of loving them too much and eventually being devastated at their rejection and abandonment! Walls!!! Your right! Self protection!!! 😮
@bigtomboye
@bigtomboye 5 месяцев назад
Extremely interesting POV 👌
@lonewolfmgtow7187
@lonewolfmgtow7187 7 месяцев назад
One thing that I would not tolerate as a man after under no circumstances is my manhood being challenged the minute, a woman tries that shit she’s out the door real quick
@AverageAufa
@AverageAufa 2 месяца назад
…and what if the man is challenging my womanhood? suddenly everyone goes against her, including other women, saying she should be silent and accept the criticism because he is the o mighty husband? I really don’t like how she is so one-sided and how this comment section is just filled with hatred towards women. Marriage is with two parties.
@cincyoldude5766
@cincyoldude5766 10 месяцев назад
Doc , I’m sorry to inform you, my wife refused to listen to your report . I’m very sad . 44 yrs .
@sana-cm7oc
@sana-cm7oc 6 месяцев назад
find a BJJ school and start training. best therapy there is for men.
@dasgespenst979
@dasgespenst979 7 месяцев назад
I have been married almost 15yrs. My wife has pretended to be a victim the whole time. She has emasculated me consistently, wanted me to work a job that is convenient for her and used to always talk about her ex and mine. So many red flags and i am always wrong. I'm part of the 20%. I cant handle the abuse anymore
@GardenerEarthGuy
@GardenerEarthGuy 6 месяцев назад
Get out of there!
@sana-cm7oc
@sana-cm7oc 6 месяцев назад
leave
@bigtomboye
@bigtomboye 5 месяцев назад
Im so sorry 🫂 Many here will want to support you 👍 Take care of yourself
@paulwykle3674
@paulwykle3674 29 дней назад
Yeah mine is a victim also and I’m to blame for everything.
@jimbosmith6327
@jimbosmith6327 7 месяцев назад
I think most men, hold the women in their lives in a fundamentally high regard. We see our wives as an intermediary to the societal standards of what it means to be a good husband. What she says and does is what moat women would say and do to us. And so our relationships become a litmus test as to how we compare to other men in our position. So when our wives do these things, like shame, emasculated and all that, we take it as society telling us that we are failures.
@Brian-qg9bm
@Brian-qg9bm 5 месяцев назад
"I'm unhappy! You're a bad person! Guilty! Guilty! Guilty! Guilty! Guilty! ....loooooooove yoooooou!" Two autistic kids that I'm unwilling to walk away from, through hell and high water, it's been 20 years with a loveless, deaf, dumb and blind covert narcissist misery queen, right here! Every morning I wake up knowing what I'm in for and I'm thinking "Thank God life doesn't go on forever." Somebody let me know when they build a statue in my honor.
@lanas8066
@lanas8066 7 месяцев назад
I'm an unmarried woman but this is absolutely gold. I can really relate to the part of us being awful and critical to ourselves and however you treat yourself you're not going to treat others better. Also in relation to these insecurities we get so many messages from media about appearance, etc, couple that with having too much to do, being expected to do it all and women barely give themselves a break so of course they'll be miserable. Another thing is the constant message if you're single there's something majorly wrong with me. I think too many are in a rush to get married/in a relationship just to escape that and maybe to have a house, children with not that much thought to who they're marrying, and thinking if it doesn't work out at least they'll have children and take half the house/income etc.
@iamsyourdadi
@iamsyourdadi 4 месяца назад
I don't know if you will get this but what does "having too much to do" and "being expected to do it all" mean? Like what kind of activities outside the norm for a single person do you do or are you expected to do?
@lanas8066
@lanas8066 4 месяца назад
@@iamsyourdadi for me specifically or women in general? For me I'm a caregiver to my mom, which is a bit intense and many would put their parent in a nursing home. On top of that I'm expected to work (which I do part time), clean up after 4 people with no help, grocery shop for everyone, cook for everyone if I'm cooking (which I don't do often because of everything else I need to do), Caregiving is hard to understand unless you've been there and every situation is different but caregivers need a break and it's a must. Not getting help means you can't get a break. For many women though I think the expectation to work full time, do all cooking and cleaning and grocery shopping and child care with no help. It's crazy! There's supposed to be a division of labor if both adults are working full time and especially if there's children or elderly etc involved. Often it doesn't happen though, throw in a special needs child or an elderly person to caregive for and good luck lol lol!
@iamsyourdadi
@iamsyourdadi 4 месяца назад
@@lanas8066 Thank you for your response and of course your description of the activities expected to be done by women is correct. I think you are mistaken in some assumptions though. Most households share household chores..this has been shown over and over and where this is not the case, it is because of the number of hours worked outside the home. You said "For many women though I think the expectation to work full time, do all cooking and cleaning and grocery shopping and child care with no help". This is factually untrue. With no help? That is the expectation? I thought you have bought into the common narrative and are not looking at most households objectively. If you would look at things again without any bias and any media narrative, your mind would be changed. I applaud you for the work you do. It is hard and gets little recognition. Cheers!
@lanas8066
@lanas8066 4 месяца назад
@@iamsyourdadi thank you. I did have to start doing grocery delivery because it was just insane. I'm originally from Eastern Europe and that's how it is. Maybe in the US you can have some distribution of chores but in many other cultural backgrounds you can't. I think I'm dealing with autism spectrum disorders, ADHD, executive dysfunction in my family members also, but culture plays a big part too. I know from my friends they're doing majority of housework too but maybe work less hours.
@iamsyourdadi
@iamsyourdadi 4 месяца назад
@@lanas8066 I completely understand your perspective now. I wish you blessings and best of luck
@robertdevoy3119
@robertdevoy3119 6 месяцев назад
Never married and never unhappy.
@MonteCarloMartin
@MonteCarloMartin 5 месяцев назад
I remember I told my wife that her thoughts lead to her emotions and her emotion make her go over the deep end. I told her to calm down and think about that so she won’t over react and it leads to horrible things because she was making decisions based on her emotions and no logic. She denied it and said I think I know everything but I don’t know shit. Some time later in she got a therapist and the therapist said the same exact thing that I had previously said to my wife about her thought emotions and actions from her emotions. My wife was so happy to receive this information from this councilor. She completely understood the concept. But when I said it, it was a time for her to argue, fight and disagree. I told her to just keep her sessions with her counselor to her self because it makes me feel so disrespected when she listens to the advice of others that are saying the exact same things that I’ve said already. She got upset with me and said that I was mocking her counseling. 🤦🏾‍♂️
@i.g.electricity4512
@i.g.electricity4512 7 месяцев назад
Nothing you’ve said has been with a spirit of shaming and/or guilting people. God’s grace & mercy show threw you.
@dailycooper
@dailycooper 4 месяца назад
The Tom Brady example is literally the best of all. Tom Brady is literally the pinnacle of what a man is and should be. A woman thinking that she can do better than Tom Brady... 😂 I don't know, this makes me question reality at scale.
@thermalreboot
@thermalreboot 8 месяцев назад
Emotional abuse is anything, no matter how subtle that checks a woman's bad behavior.
@hasensaurus
@hasensaurus 3 месяца назад
I wish I found this 6 months ago. Since then, I cracked and filed for divorce, because I was fed up with the blaming and the shaming. She wanted me to read books on relationships and I did. She wanted me to go to therapy together, we did. After a while, I saw that while I was doing the work, nothing changed on her side. So I quit. I remember finding a short of this episode, I showed it to her because it genuinely struck a chord in me and I wanted to start a discussion with her...being just a short, she perceived it emotionally as an attack and dismissed the idea. I filed for divorce in december, ended in january.
@tomhitchcock8195
@tomhitchcock8195 2 месяца назад
Early in our relationship my wife would say, “You know it’s all about me.” Or “it’s all about me.” I shrugged it off . Who says things like that? Well now I’m still incredulous, but she meant it. Later in counseling she told him, “I just can’t train him.” Whuuut? Yes, she said it without hesitation or guilt.
@davidgeffeney1283
@davidgeffeney1283 10 месяцев назад
Wow, the examples seem so tame to what I experienced.
@WatchfulHunter
@WatchfulHunter 10 месяцев назад
23:00 - Notice government CHOSE to not make these vows legally binding. Allowing either spouse to leave whenever they feel like it. Why bother with vows at all? Stop doing vows because they are lies. The wife has no intention of doing anything she says. Vows should be replaced by the secretive property contract signed by the man at the back door before the wedding starts. Why the hidden secrecy? Read the contract in front of everyone at the wedding first. Then ask each if they are willing to be bound by this property contract. Men are honorable, true to their word, valiant, brave. Men are hooked into a one sided trap where only the men feel committed. He should refuse to sign. Instead, he should present the prenuptial agreement to the audience stating if you divorce me, you don't get the house or the car or my money. Then see how committed this bride really is.
@JenPsychomachia
@JenPsychomachia 10 месяцев назад
All engaged couples need to visit an estate attorney before their vows. Everything should be entered into trusts that are managed by a 3rd party. This is of the utmost importance especially upon the death of a spouse. Reminder that all happy marriages end in death.
@wendellbabin6457
@wendellbabin6457 5 месяцев назад
AKA "Runaway Bride"!
@The_Mister
@The_Mister 3 месяца назад
I tried to send videos like this to her but she told me if I wanted to save the marriage I needed to stop watching them and get as far away from this narrative as possible. She would complain that I shut down (when she was lecturing and berating me), but when I would share my feelings and perspective she would say things like "you need to change the way you experience me" or "you can't have that story and be married to me." My perspective and my feelings were inadmissible. She would demand to know what I talked to my therapist about, and when I made the mistake of telling her, she called him up to chew him out. Never made that mistake again, but she kept saying there was something wrong with me for not sharing - that I made her feel unsafe, and my unwillingness to trust her was the problem.
@AverageAufa
@AverageAufa 2 месяца назад
in my opinion as a woman; this narrative is dangerous. this lady on youtube is going to only increase divorce rates. it’s not wrong or right, it’s just that if you already think in your head this marriage is over, what she says CONFIRMS your way of thought. so your marriage will end. what i’m not saying however, is the way your wife is acting is right. it sounds like she has anxious attachment issues that she needs to go counselling for individually. i also think couples counselling for the first few months is crucial instead of individual. we just need a middle man who has no roots in the marriage to hear both sides. if you go alone or she goes alone, the counsellor might just AGREE and then that makes you think you are right and they are wrong. what needs to happen is that you BOTH air out your grievances and the counsellor has BOTH perspectives and is able to see the FULL PICTURE. when we go alone, we usually never bring up our own flaws or what WE did wrong in the marriage and how WE can improve ourselves. couple counselling > individual counselling
@KirbyJones-ir1wi
@KirbyJones-ir1wi Месяц назад
I’m stunned how accurate you describe my 44 years of marriage.
@kostadinpantev
@kostadinpantev 8 месяцев назад
I keep telling her that every one of her "victories" comes at a cost. She does not care.
@scottfw7169
@scottfw7169 6 месяцев назад
A couple things come to mind which I now wonder if they have an abusive component in them. First winter of the 6 years We were married I'd come home from work to the house all dark except for light in the back room where she was. Eventually one evening I said hey, it would be nice to have lights on so it looks like my return home is desired. Fireworks were launched at me for my non appreciation of her effort to save us money. A couple years later my health crashed bigtime and as part of it I get muscle spasm which start small then frequently take over my whole body and pretty much freeze me in place for up to several minutes. The last time that happened while we were together I was standing in our bedroom and asked her to call 911 and then come and just hold me for a bit; she said no, she had to get the house ready for the EMTs to come in.
@derrickpigatt5195
@derrickpigatt5195 5 месяцев назад
😮
@jeannettevanlindt4720
@jeannettevanlindt4720 5 месяцев назад
Your wife sounds like a person with no empathy for you . Hope things get better
@scottfw7169
@scottfw7169 5 месяцев назад
@@jeannettevanlindt4720 Thanks! Things got better when the marriage was dissolved several years back. We had no children so that was a potential hassle that didn't exist. Not heard a word from her for a few years now and I'm quite okay with that.
@robertduvall7392
@robertduvall7392 5 месяцев назад
Towards the end of a thirty-four-year marriage, I quit trying, for my own sake. I told her exactly what someone should have told her with all of her BS counseling (hear that you fake counselors?) - stop treating me like shit. And you counselors - stop enabling that kind of behavior and stop blaming the man as well - it's a bunch of crap and you know it. I was happy with myself, but I became unwilling to go through her self-induced delusion anymore, and I told her that. I left her, and the demands got worse. You want me back; you're going to have to do this and that... My question - then what? More of the same BS? That should clue anyone in on what is really happening. Our kids, that is all I could think of. How can you do that to our kids? How can you make everything my fault? Why can you NEVER apologize or admit fault? How can you act like you're the tough one who hates me offering help when needed? Those are signs of borderline narcissism, and it makes me wonder if women are innately narcissistic? It's crazy that you say that women really aren't ready for that kind of commitment. A lot of guys who are taught what commitment is are dead ready and ready to make major sacrifices, necessary sacrifices. And if women are really like that - then what about women soldiers??? There's a scary thought. This conversation is LONG overdue. The silent part has been said out loud by a woman. Kind of unbelievable, really. I cannot think of one woman with enough guts to admit that about herself, let alone say the silent part out loud about women in general AND be dead on. You must get a lot of bad and retaliatory comments and threats from women for saying the silent part out loud. What do I say to that? Get over yourselves. Learn and be happy, learn and have a decent relationship. Quit being so entitled, and don't blame the men as being stupid or make snide comments because they married someone from the East; they were looking for what you should be but aren't. Some get dumped, but that is by women who are never honest with themselves. That is where it starts - with yourself. Learn to be happy under the worst conditions and quit blaming others.
@MrJhughs1
@MrJhughs1 6 месяцев назад
The WORLD NEEDS YOUR MESSAGE; YOU ARE SO TRUE!!!❤
@darktenor4967
@darktenor4967 10 месяцев назад
Just wondering if you might consider sharing some advice in the future for men who actually love their wives and want to be good husbands. My wife is a very kind, gentle and honest lady, who probably instinctively does a lot of the things you recommend, indeed the one thing in our lives that works out is our marriage, I want to make sure I'm also doing everything I can, especially when things are not going as well as they could be in other aspects of life for reasons entirely out of our control. The problem is, so much out there directed at guys is written from a toxic feminist perspective, so much so it also irritates my wife quite a bit.
@kevinjohnson3521
@kevinjohnson3521 10 месяцев назад
Touché, well said about the narrative of toxic feminists!
@joemahma3017
@joemahma3017 10 месяцев назад
Seconding this opinion! Thanks for the videos, Karen.
@JenPsychomachia
@JenPsychomachia 10 месяцев назад
I’m married to an amazing man, and feel so incredibly blessed to have him. If I could point to some characteristics about what he does, I would say that he is more concerned about me and my soul than his comfort. Our marriage isn’t a game of chase. He wants what is morally right for our family, if that makes sense. Therefore, he wouldn’t let me humiliate myself in times of stress. For instance, if I’m overwhelmed with life, he became a calm presence, a pilar, if you will, that I can be oriented to. It’s like he doesn’t need me to be calm and happy, but he wants it for me because that is what is best for me as a human and a child of God. He’s the head of the family and therefore responsible for all of us. Unfortunately, I’ve been diagnosed with stage four cancer after 19 happy years of marriage. I feel so blessed to have had him all these years and I so wish we could grow old together and enjoy watching our children mature, get married and have their own children. My husband will, I’m sure, be blessed with another woman who will love him deeply after I am gone. I know he won’t grow old alone. Some lady is going to be blessed beyond measure!
@darktenor4967
@darktenor4967 10 месяцев назад
@@JenPsychomachia Wow! honestly don't know what to say to that. Really sorry to hear about what you and your husband are going through.
@JenPsychomachia
@JenPsychomachia 10 месяцев назад
@@darktenor4967Honestly, God always has a greater plan for us than we can see. I’ll probably never see in my lifetime or understand, with my limited human intellect, why I would be taken from my family. How could there be a benefit to removing a wife from a happy marriage and leaving behind a grieving husband and many young children? I can’t understand, so I have to trust that whatever He wills is holy and beautiful and exactly what myself, my family and my friends need for their spiritual growth. We do not chose our crosses, but by picking them up and carrying on with joy, we can hope to see God. You’re a good man and a good husband. Your wife loves you, I’m sure of it. Women who love a man, truly love them, are profoundly devoted. I love my husband so deeply it is painful, even hard to describe. I wonder if women who sabotage their marriages are simply afraid of this painful, raw love? I don’t know. In any case, I pray that you and your wife can continue to grow together, and never harden your hearts.
@MattB74
@MattB74 8 месяцев назад
Wow thank you for sharing and teaching. You speak the truth.
@andrewlundsgaard3399
@andrewlundsgaard3399 7 месяцев назад
For the beginning thought, the marriage ceremony being about her - 'My Wedding' - anyone hearing those words before the wedding should take the person saying them aside and tell them there is a deep wide chasm between 'My Wedding' and 'Our Wedding' with a great deal of pain and suffering filling the gap between those two things.