▶ Watch more AskReddit stories: • Reddit on Tap - Latest... 🛎Subscribe to Reddit On Tap for daily videos! / @ontapstudios What is the most inoccently funny thing a child has said to you? #Reddit #AskReddit
Just this past summer I was sporting red crochet spring twists. One day I met my husband and child at the park after work and was also wearing black lip stain. Upon seeing me my kiddo was like "oh mommy, it's ridiculous" and facepalmed. Me: "what is"? Boo: "your hair and your mouth". 😂 Little snot.
I was really young and went to the zoo with my dad and my brother and I saw a group of Amish people for the first time. I looked at them and looked at my dad, pointed at them and said what are they doing? It’s not Halloween yet. (I thought they were dressed as pilgrims or something I’d only seen in movies) he snatched my hand so quickly and told me to stop pointing before explaining the Amish to me
When I was a kid I was in line at the grocery store with my mom. I guess the lady in front of us was taking too long for my toddler liking and I yelled, “move it, slow poke!” at the poor lady. My mom wanted to die but was also thankful she didn’t use stronger language when she was stuck in slow traffic with me. My kids are now around that age and I sympathize with my mom lol
I screamed “oh bother” like Winnie the Pooh as twelve medical professionals were holding my 6-year old self having an asthma attack down and they finally inserted the IV into me (which I strongly opposed) Apparently, I passed out less than a minute afterwards, so they told my mom and they laughed altogether. I wonder if they tell people my story (I know about HIPAA and stuff but that story is so funny I’ll let it slide).
My 5 year old nephew was running around and ran into the dog. He limps over towards us with his hand over his crotch and said "Mom, I hit my special spot and now it doesn't feel so special".
Last Christmas my oldest daughter and my brother's daughter (both 4) were sitting at our sister's kitchen table decorating Christmas cookies. My brother and I walked into the kitchen and asked what they were doing and his daughter said making cookies and tried to hand me one. My daughter started screaming and said "No! My cookies are for my daddy, your cookies are for your daddy!" My brother and just lost it.
4:00 My oldest had delays speaking, and he was a big fan of heavy equipment. His first word was “Firetruck,” but for some reason he abbreviated it, leaving out i-r-e-t-r. We have no videos of his “first words” for this reason 18:44 once during my “lady time” my four-year-old son, who was having difficulty with potty-training, walks in on me on the bathroom, points to my sanitary napkin, and crows triumphantly, “POOP!!”
Just the other day my 3 year old looked at me while peeing, and tried to convince me that since he’s a big boy now he doesn’t pee anymore, only pisses. 😂 Piss isn’t a word often used in our household so he’s never heard it as a bad word. Only pee related. Still funny though
My nephew was learning how to say words. I was pointing at a teddy bear and said “what’s it called?” Now mind you, I was accidentally pointing at the southern region. He says “it’s a vagina.”
@@brettlarch8050it's not too early to know about the names of body parts, it's not inherently sexual just to know anatomical words. It's much better than teaching them only weird words and then they can't communicate to other adults who aren't in on the lingo for that family.
Not what she said because she can't say much yet but it's something she did. My 1 year old niece was watching Toy Story and I gave her a Woody doll. She looked at the doll then the TV then the doll again and she looked so confused.
My little cousins when they were babies would occasionally say that they made “poo poo” or that they made “stinkies”… . Little immature to laugh at but as a middle schooler potty humor is comedy gold back then XD
Had a young nephew around 3 or 4 couldn't say t used an f sound instead of t. You should have heard it when he saw a firetruck. He would shout a fire Fu.
For a little while, my son couldn’t say the “tee are” sound. As in “tr” uck…For a little while, he always said the sound as an “f”…..For a little while, we used to catch a local bus taking all the lovely old ladies on their weekly shopping trip. For a little while, when the bus went past the Fire Brigade Station, the doors were always shut….. Until they weren’t, and then there was the lethal combo of a two year old with a loud, clear voice,the ability to say the sound of “trrr” as “ff”… paired with the fire brigade washing down one of their vehicles, parked outside the station, and a bus load of sweet old ladies who until this defining moment thought my son was a cute little boy…coming to the glorious moment of “A £uck!!! Mummy! Look! It’s a £uck!! A *fire* *£uck!!”
My cousin, 3 at the time, slowly walked into the room and sat down on the ottoman, then very sadly, quietly said, "And once, Elsa trapped me out but then I got engaged but you got engaged too..." and then went into unintelligible mumbling. I have no clue what she was talking about or who the heck Elsa is.
I took my nieces out for pizza one day. We were waiting in line for drinks. There was a Hispanic lady and her kids standing in front of us. She said something in Spanish to them and my niece turns to me and says why is she speaking like that. 🤨 In her very short life she had never heard someone speak Spanish and I don’t know how to feel about that. 😂 I figure that since she watched Sesame Street she would have at the least heard about Dora
My high school best friend's neighbors had a 2-year-old little girl who couldn't pronounce the letter L. When at a parade and the marching bands were coming through, she'd yell, "The f-gs are coming!! The f-gs are coming!"
My older sister used to say everything with a "fff" sound at the start. So Grammy was Frammy, a trampoline was a frampine (she couldn't say the whole thing) and a truck was a fruck. She sometimes didn't get the r in there. Just walking along and it she saw a truck she would yell out (as all little kids do) "Mommy look its a fuck!" And mom would have to just say "yep it is" because she was learning.
Not so much innocent, but when my nephew was 6 a couple of years ago and we were playing some Sega Mega Drive games, he starts prodding me in the arm several times. I ask him what he was doing and he said "checking to see if you're human". I thought it was one of the funniest things ever hearing something witty like that from someone so young.
I'd lost at a game and called myself a weenie, and my old friend's niece, about like 6yo or so, replied so very honestly "you're not a weenie, you're a person!"
While at the movies to watch "Elemental," a little kid said out loud "mommy I want to go home." The audience right away reacted "aww." I can't help but laugh every time I think about it because the kid's baby voice made it sound too cute and innocent.😅
Earlier during christmas my brother went out to buy some wrapping paper. Then later when he recieved his gift he innocently said "Bro, why does santa have the same wrapping paper as us. (He was 4)
My mom runs an arts and crafts studio that has activities for children. One day this customer came in reeking of cigarette smoke while some kids were doing an activity. This one little girl who was a very mouthy, rude 9-year-old ran up to the man and asked very loudly “Did you fart!?” My mom was horrified and made the girl apologize to the man, but he was a good sport about it.
My cousin (Boy) once came up to me and asked "Girls don't poop right?" I replied, "Yeah why?" He then says, "I think ***** might be a boy" with the most confused eyes🤣
Knew a guy who was at a neighborhood barbecue when he was in high school and met a little kid who gave him a water bottle out of nowhere. When he asked why she gave it to him she said her sister was talking to her friends about him being “hot” and she learned from her parents when it got hot out you drank water to cool down, therefore she got him water so he wouldn’t be hot anymore. A couple of people were around when this happened and apparently the kids misunderstanding spread around and became a good laugh for a lot of people, especially after the girl found out what her little sister said and had people teasing her.
At work: I asked a 3 year old child to pick up a toy they’d dropped on the floor instead of putting it away. He said “I’ve only got two pairs of hands!”
My friend's 4 year old daughter upon looking out the window at night time: "Uncle Wil! It's broken outside!" Me to myself: Oh honey you don't know how right you are about that.. Me, actually: No honey it's just night time! We're going to sleep soon 😆
One time, when I was three my mother and I took a train trip to Portland. Being three, we regularly had to cross our little section to use the restroom. Our FIRST time walking back from the bathroom, I loudly announce "Mama?!! Why was there string hanging out of your pee pee?!!!!" My poor mother was MORTIFIED. TLDR: I as a toddler loudly announce to a train full of people that my mother is wearing a tampon.
My brother and I when visiting family over summer vacation we’re watching our 3 year old cousin. My brother called me an asshole and our little cousin started repeating it but couldn’t pronounce the “ hole” part of the word, so he tried to whistle after saying ass to say the word
After that kid saying his crib was to keep him from stealing things all i think about is theyre also baby psych wards to keep babies from killing themselves! Lol 😂
my cousin when he was 3/4 he lost the tip of his finger. (he caught it on a stationary bike on the chain) I was 12 and my other cousins(7) were between 9 and 14 years old. "josh show me your finger" we then flipped us the bird.
honestly wee kids are the BEST for stupid conversations and surprisingly good advice. never will I be asked what my third favourite colour is AND get advice on how to make up with a boyfriend in the same sentence from an adult.
Re kids lying to siblings that they’re adopted…This isn’t mine, but somewhere on YT or Reddit I’ve seen a boy who convinced his little brother that not only was he adopted, also, he was a monkey, that the parents had felt sorry for. OP had that poor little brother believing that the parents snuck into his room at night to shave him, because, of course, monkeys are hairier than five year olds. Iirc, the tormenter even left some long dark hairs from their mum’s hairbrush on the little guy’s pillow, And the occasional banana skin next to the little one’s bed! You really have to admire that sort of dedication to a joke. I think it went on for a few months, too. I can imagine the dilemma for the parents when the joke was exposed. Having to be stern and cross, and try to think up a suitable punishment, whilst having to keep from laughing.
16:14 I have a story that is similar. I was about four and we went to this store called family fair, my dad gets out of the car and I start getting out of the car and he has the audacity to tell me "No you have to stay put in the car it's just me going in." (Don't worry my mom and brothers were in the car too so no I wouldn't be alone) my four year old self is outraged and says "BUT IT'S FAMILY FAIR! NOT ONE FAIR!" the car door was open at the time so there was this random dude who heard this starts laughing and then everyone starts laughing and I was so confused as I thought I had just lodged a very valid point.
back when woolworths was doing the animal card colection, my brother and i got in the car and exitedly opend our new cards, my brother sudenly pipes up joyfully "I GOT A-fricking-elephant!!!" .... African elephant... he ment African elephant
My brother was talked into that Geoffrey the Giraffe would eat kids that would get lost in Toys R us. (my sister, her friends and me got it in his head), whenever the Toys 'R' Us commercial appeared he'd bolt out of the room thinking that Geoffrey would leap out of the TV and eat him.
Not really funny as thought provoking? My friend has a little 4yr old boy who has dubbed me his aunt even though there's no relation, I went over to give my support after my friends dog of almost 18 years passed away (as well as help her through a few other things). Kid took me over where they'd buried the dog and was talking about Heaven and how the dog was there now, then he looked at me and asked. "What happens if you go to Heaven and come back?" .... I answered "that means your a prophet and that you'd have something really important to tell everyone." Because I couldn't think of anything else and I always make a point to give children's questions generally valid answers, no matter how odd or off the wall they are. He seemed to accept it then went off to play with his Tonka Truck. So yeah.
Well when I was little I would get the F and S sounds messed up so I said one time to my mom “ mommy I want a fucker!” I meant sucker it was bad but I laugh about it now
My sister picked me up for my birthday with her 2YO daughter. My sister went to pick something up and my neice coughed. I told her '[neice's name], cover your mouth when you cough.' She flatly refused. Just a "no."
When I was around 5ish I encountered my school caretaker at the local pub with my family- since we were all family friends we got talking and I mentioned how when I was older I would become "Just like mummy! I'll be tall, Smart...AND HAVE BIG BOOBS LIKE MY MOTHER TOO!" Needless to say, all but tall is true...i'm 5,2 😑
