@@LaudauteDominum-er2mrwas in a similar situation. We separated Saturday. Not on the page after 8 dates . Told me he his feelings were not strong enough right before the 9th date
Healthy relating is mirroring. If he's unsure and you're still attracted to him, you're unhealed, dishonest with yourself (I did it too). If he's uncertain and ambigious and you're invested in trying to make that work somehow, you need to turn attention to the relationship with yourself. If a man is unsure, and you're healthy, if you know your worth, you would also feel completely unsure about him and totally at peace with that. If you're not mirroring but rather compensating, time to drop the distraction of the other and put attention on self.
Tell him he can keep getting to know you and remove the sex. (He already knows that bit) you also want to get to know him and that is done through good old fashion friendship. While he’s figuring if he’s sure or not, keep your options open and go out on dates with other guys on a weekly basis. At this point he does not qualify for undivided attention. You don’t need to hide this but don’t rub it in his face to make him jealous. You can just tell him your plans with care and respect. Life is too short waiting around for little boys who don’t have a biological clock to decide how they feel about you. Tell him he deserves to be with someone he is sure about and you deserve to be with someone who is sure about you. (He clearly has little experience with women if when he comes across an amazing one he doesn’t know what to do with her) tell him he needs to go get some more experience and bounce ✌🏽
Exactly! All these poor girls sitting around alone hoping one maybe man is going to notice and change his mind. Keep it stepping ladies, the sea is huge!
That’s exactly what I did. He came back around and took me out to dinner and possibly wanted to hook up, I offered only friendship. We would not be picking up where we left off. He’s at the bottom of my list. I don’t message him first at all, and I’m seeing other guys now.
I don't like uncertain men. ....The best thing to do ladies is keep your options open. Also, let him be aware that your options are open when he give you that BS excuse about "getting to know you" after time has gone by. No ring? No commitment? ....let the best man wins 🤷♀🤷♀
It means nothing when he takes you to meet his momma. Nothing! It's a play to make you feel he's serious because he knows women think that way. The momma knows he's doing it, but she'll play her part for him and never tell you he's brought 3 other chicks to meet her in the last month. In fact, his entire family will play his game. Never, ever rush to meet his family first. Hold off on that unless you've gotten a ring. You bring him to meet YOUR momma and family first, then listen to what they tell you. Best wishes ladies!
I learned this lesson in 2016. I was invited to his sister’s baby shower where the whole extended family flew in!!! Little did I know that he had a habit of picking up black girls online.
A lot of moms do that weird shit I’m letting my sons know when both get older to only bring a woman you really want to be with me to my home to meet me any just talking shit not going to fly with momma
I agree most part but I think seeing his family even when they're not engaged is important. Often in-laws become headaches in marital life and you'd wanna know how they're like before marriage.
Why are ppl confused about relationships? Life doesn't need to be complicated! If you want a relationship then you need to set your standards. If he doesn't want to commit walk away.
My ex introduced me to his parents... then was freaked out when he told me later his mom had told him she thought I was the one. Even if they like you it can backfire
If there's real love and affection then two people are "compelled" to be together..there are no mind games involved. If you know it, you know it, and most people - men and women - would make the effort in that situation. Personally I cannot stand mind games, game-playing and "testing" someone else. It's just b/s. Once you find someone that you're meant to be with, then all the past crap you endured with men (or women) seems so insignificant and a complete waste of time and emotional energy. Just my take on it.
Agree 100% but these days people think that tinder is a place to find their person🤷♀️ men and women are scrolling those websites like shopping in supermarket, there is too many choices that they are getting addicted to this type of acting towards others. It's soo superficial. There are also soo many unhealed people looking for someone to only bang to stop thinking about their ex, you can't even imagine how they can manipulate only to get that temporary relieve
Essentially men look at you as an object « do I want that female object or not? ». A ladies best defense is monitor how he treats you and no matter how much it hurts drop him if he’s not behaving. Remember you’re an object to him. Women don’t think this way so it’s hard to grasp.
Right? They always dictate everything! They choose us and then they decide we are not enough or we are just too good for them, "you are a good/amazing woman, but...". Sick and tired of these games and "love" in the time of dating apps.
I got played exactly like that, got heartbroken at the start of the week after 2 years of friendship with benefits (i guess). Now on my way to a new 1st date with a new man and watching this video so that it sinks in. I'm gonna change my tactic and I'm gonna RECRUIT my next man.
Watch out for the guy who also wants to dump on you. We've run into this one guy who he thinks that telling you all his problems is "sharing". No, that's not. That's him saying, I don't have my act together, and I'm seeing if I can use you to fix my problems. You don't want that. He should be freed up emotionally/time wise enough to try to have some good experiences together. Not, immediately you in the middle of all of his problems. Yes, relationships as they progress get into real life and it's issues. But, just saying beware of the guy who starts out already dramatic.
I dated someone for 7 months: We lived 2 hrs apart. He committed, I was his girlfriend, we talked about marriage, he gave me a promise ring, he introduced me to all his family (including our kids), spent Christmas as family together, and then, just like that, at 8th month, he said the long distance won't work, he doesn't want to be in a relationship. I walked away, no contact. Heartbroken. I wish things were straightforward. But people are confusing and they will play you.
Ohh I wrote my comment and then I read yours, pretty much the same! But we only dated for 2 months and introduced me to his friends. "I don't see us succeeding long term, I don't know why because I have feelings for you" So weird, because he seemed emotional for the first time when he broke up with me. I walked away too. No contact and he didn't reach out.
How can you be sure 2 months in. I’m not even sure 6 months in. 3-6 months for me is the period where I see a person for what they are, they’ve shown their true colors. What’s the rush? You need to date the world is a big place 3 million+ single men out there
Why would anyone further their time with someone who isn’t sure about them . There is absolutely no reason to. Where can I get the decor behind you, Elliot ( grind, exercise, handle)? Please answer because I know you read the comments.
In the end long distance does not work. No matter how much effort there is, there will be some form of resentment and it will take a toll on the relationship.
Long distance need to lead to reality and the plan to make it work in real life. If the guy is not investing in making it happen, he is not interested, move on.
True i was in a long distance relationship was willing to work through it we lived an hr away but ex after has issues but really he found someone else he was interested at work and wanted to get with
@@sulala1749 mine did everythg that would make you believe he was all end but didn't tie up the loose ends. It was great until one incident. I think his intentions was good just needed to mature more. His words," I mishandled you" but it hurt bad. I lost weight n could sleep.
@@ElliotScottDating If a guy is keeping you around but not necessarily progressing it but still talks to you, does it mean lack of physical attraction, generally?
I've known a guy for a year we sc everyday. He told me he sent me mixed signals and only likes me as a friend which I think is bs as he compliments me on how I dress, makes sure I'm safe and ok and he's just easy to talk to and j don't feel judged when I'm in his company. But I feel like he's friendzoned me because he's scared to loose me and the first girl he was with he thought he loved so I feel like he's hiding a lot of his feelings from me because he's scared of rejection even though he's like a best friend to me. Although he's gonna be joining the army so I won't see him as much. Also is it weird that he remembers the first time we met was in a club and I apparently waved at him but I have no memory of that. All I remember is meeting him on Halloween last year.
Guy I was dating took me out for dinner for my birthday , bought me a beautiful gift , cake ect … then one week later broke up with me .. he introduced me to his dad and sister . Friends for 4 months then dated for a 3 weeks . Said he waa super attracted to me but wasn’t sure about the fact I had a 7 year old . Said he couldn’t see me when ever he wanted . I was like you only see me once a month anyway . Painful 😓 he asked me if I’d still date him if he was a bus driver . Im like I don’t care in you were a kebab shop owner . I own my own home ect financially independent. He left me confused . 5 months all thrown away . Should of just stayed friends
My ex treated me really horribly but he kept stringing me along. I ended it myself after 9 months. I can resonate with your feelings, but also wanted to say that this guy is still quite a decent person because he at least told you what he really feels, and leave you the option of staying/leaving. Hope you will find a right partner soon! :)
Giiiiiiirl, something similar happened to me. We dated, he took me out for dinner for my birthday , bought me a beautiful gift! Told me he liked me, did amazing and super romantic stuff, took me to meet his friends, etc... then after 3 weeks, he said he needed space and that things were going "too fast" for him... I was so heartbroken after that.
In a relationship since 1.3 year, the guy isn't ready to commit for marriage since 6 months and he wants a relationship where he says he wanna work on the things nd then take this ahead. My anxiety got triggered since a very long time coz he first wanted to get married but then since 6 months he is like m unsure, with different reasons every month
I think he tried to keep her hook. Give her what she wants so she can stay but without commitment. Meeting the mom is nothing... Mama's boys introduces all the girls to their mom n she keeps the secrets.
Advice what if knew him 3 years wasmy old neighbour we use to talk face for face at the door his or mine alwayz there for one another hard times and have always texted since I met him but i moved down the road away only past few months talking getting longer convos texting 4/5 days a werk flirting more arranged meet up just us 2 alone what would you do if he wants to take it further I don't want to jump into one thing only so quick because the flirtyness is there then it dies off to quick I actually liked him from the start but we just couldn't come together then as he come out a relationship messy which is how we met when he moved out his exs to his own place which happened to be my block i don't wanna give away to quick because the flirting is there for it to die off after its happened his a older guy to add there's 12 years between us
So me and my guy have been dating long distance for just over five months - we’re in contact most days but only been on two dates (I stayed over one weekend but no sex)…we’re not exclusive and I don’t think I’m ready for that yet either but the fact that he’s still dating/actively looking just makes me think that he’s not sure about me/like me enough. Not sure whether to end it or just keep options open and see what happens. I do think it’s the distance tbh cos he seems serious 🤷🏾♀️
Keep your options open! You can still see him when you can and still talk to him. You already know he's keeping his options open, so why are you keeping yourself locked up and alone? Go have fun! You only get one life, and in that life you're only young for a short time. Do you really want to spend it waiting alone for a maybe man?
Why is he keeping me around? We haven’t physically been together in almost 2yrs. What’s the point to keep telling each other this dream to be together and have a future after 4yrs.
Question. If sex isnt an option for me when seeing a guy for at least a few months, maybe longer, and i still want to see them and see where things go....is there a chance they will stick around anyways? I'm afraid the no sex will drive people away. But without legit feels for someone, then I don't want to give them that fun time haha 🤷♀️
Watch Tony Gaskins on RU-vid. If a man feels like you are his wife, he will wait. People who want you will not put themselves in a position to lose you. Holding off will make you different from other women. Most women open their legs in 4 months.
Real relationships don't take breaks when times get hard. It's the hard times that bring you closer because you went through it together. If one person calls for a break then it's time to break up because the one calling for it is showing they'll leave you when times get hard. You don't want someone like that.
@@discombobulatedfishbowl7548 i dont agree, sometimes people need some time alone for introspection to do some inner work. however it is important to have certain rules for the break such as not seeing others.
eliott what about an ex, who „does currently don‘t want a relationship“ but sex and does not get that from me without the commitment (I clearly stadet, that there will be no getting in my pants haha) and keeps meeting up with me despite not getting „the asset“? Is there a probability of us getting back together later?
If it was me, I would rather find a new sex partner over trying to get back to an ex through friends with benefit. I don’t think we will never get what we want (real relationship). That’s just my thought though…
@@PhanRegSopor keeps you as an option if there's really no one better around. Been there, done that. He wasn't gay, just not attracted to me at all, he prolly wanted to stay in touch for I could have been useful (help him getting a new job et cet). 😔 He prolly was dating other women he was into behind my back.
When one day finally you have a boyfriend but he suddenly tells you: I don't see us succeeding long term, I am not sure about you 😢 he broke up with me and I walked away. With a broken heart. (Never wanted to delete the dating app, it was "paused" 🚩)
Besides the point Eliot you should also teach women not to be so sure too soon. They might be a douche bag. You need to test men and not fall for them too quick. Keep ur options open
Same with me! I ended that, as there was no progress at all! Even regres, i might say, as he stopped texting altogether (we worked together). I was quite offended by the possibility he considered me as option so much that there was no physical contact between us whatsoever
What? No. Why would you? That's about as unavailable as a man can get, it will hurt you even more. Nobody suddenly realises you're the love of their life on their wedding day - except for Hugh Grant in Four Weddings and a Funeral. It's also a bit stalkerish.
Trying to ascribe normal behavior (i. e. intro to ‘Mama’) to abnormal dudes is crazy. If introducing you to ‘Mama’ gives him an advantage, he’s gonna do that. Don’t be fooled by ‘normal’ behavior on the part of these ‘Men’.
Oh my, I’m not watching these videos no more because of advice, but because Elliot is so damn cute. Since I’ve figured out that I’m actually not the relationship type, I feel so liberated. But I’m hooked to Elliot 😅❤️ Keep on being amazing!
Elliott Can you do a topic my husband is still with someone else ,but he's paid for a holiday for us ,to go together as a family ,said he's going to leave her in 5 weeks ,but he's been saying this for a year ,I'm really confused, Please help me Elliott
So what does it mean when he wants to keep you around when he isn't getting any assets? Because he doesn't want those assets from any woman at this point in his life. All he gets is the emotional connection we have.
@@ana-bellis I ended up ending things with both of them since I wasn't 100% sure with either of them even though I loved them both. They both had something the other didn't (personality-wise & physically) and I couldn't keep torturing myself.
That’s why woman wake up. Stop giving free sex to a man who’s not your husband! Value and self respect yourself. That alone will make him respect and honor you and want to commit. The wrong man will leave and the one truly interested will stay.
