What It's Actually Like To Live With Bipolar Disorder 

"Medication to keep everything regular. Not numb, not perfect, just manageable." Well said.

I wish more ppl talked openly about mental illness, because everyone deserves help

"I don't want to kill myself, and that's manageable." I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 when I was 19. Thank you for showing people that we aren't monsters. We are loving, breathing, feelings human beings who deserve love and compassion just the same as every else.

the part about being scared to lose your creativity after getting help is so real. Your illness feels like it's you. I'm working through OCD and anxiety and I'm honestly scared to be left empty headed because all i know are obsesive thoughts.

Bipolar 2 isn’t talked about enough. I can definitely relate to this especially the note on depressive episodes. They are usually longer and much harder to deal with than the manic ones which makes it so much more difficult

Psilocybin saved my life. I was addicted to heroin for 15 years and after Psilocybin treatment I will be 3 years clean in September. I have zero cravings. This is something that truly needs to be more broadly used in addiction treatment.

Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.

I’ve only ever experienced hypomania but dude, it’s out of control, it’s kind of fun but not in a good way, and ultimately it’s super embarrassing. Those episodes are a great way to lose friends and trigger self-hatred. Thanks for sharing your experiences.

"I don't want to kill myself, and that's manageable" Wow this hit super close to home. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder when I was 17. Looking back through my childhood I had all the classic symptoms. The very low-lows, periods of mania, random explosive anger. I also ended up addicted to drugs because I was trying to find a way to cope. I am 18 months clean from heroin and I have been taking my bipolar meds as prescribed for almost 1 year. It's nice to know I'm not alone in this. 💕😊

Listening to her story makes me want to educate myself more.

I got diagnosed with bipolar since my teenage, spent my whole life fighting bipolar. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my mom recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.

Thank you in a country like India where people are not educated enough on mental illnesses.. it's an everyday struggle.

My mum is bi-polar. It was sad to watch the mania and the inevitable depression. She's a beautiful woman and to see her suffer killed me. Thank you for this. Everyone deserves to be heard and cared for.❤ to you all.

I was diagnosed with Bipolar. That's when I realized why I can feel good and then go into a deep depression. I will have all of this energy and intentions. Then I will feel so bad and depressed. I beat myself up for being depressed. I wondered 'why can't you stay happy? or 'why don't you just get up and do something?" I came to the point when I felt really energized and productive, I knew that a deep depression was going to follow. I thought that I was just doomed.

I just hate the fact that when you actually manage to put your feelings into words and try to talk to someone and they just don't understand. Damn it they just don't understand like somehow the forget what English sounds like. And what am I trying to explain them.That's sad a bad feeling. The worst one.

as a person who lives with bipolar.. the sentence u said "its not perfect... but i dont wanna kill myself.. its huge for me" is so true and i feel it. you are so strong and talented, and it was amazing to hear your words. I hope we both won't forget we can do anything we want even id we have bipolar. thank you!

You are the lucky one who found the right treatment and has a positive outcome. My daughter, on the other hand, was not so lucky. She had a drug resistant condition. She struggled, and tried many different meds. Had little or no improvement. She ended her life a month ago at age 28. We loved her and tried very hard to help her to find the right treatment. We failed. I am heartbroken.

I have bipolar 2, ptsd, adhd. I am 50. Mom is BPD. Your video hits the mark. That is basically almost how my bipolar played out. I no longer drink since 19 yrs ago. I take meds and have support. I am 50 yr old man. Not perfect but manage it ok. Thanks for sharing.

why cant i stop. this has brought me to tears for so long. i feel like i break things when im manic. i break peoples trust in me, i break relationships, i break my bones a few times but by far the worst part of all of it is that i cant stop.

This is beyond relatable. My heart hurts cause this is me.

Mental illness can happen to anyone, it can be from so many things like DNA, environment, other people, so on. It just needs proper care like any other illness.

I always suspect something but I'm scared that - once I make that psychologist/psychiatrist appointment and get diagnosed with something - it's gonna be the only thing I'll identify myself as. I'm scared that I will use that knowledge against everyone around me. (ie. getting criticized by co-worker but instead of trying to do better, I force them to understand how anxiety-inducing the task is for me). Am I the only one who thinks this way? :(

My sibling struggles with this. When they experienced psychosis was very eye opening for me and changed my view of the entire world. We used to say they were simply " in one of their moods." Fortunately Bipolar is not an end of the world and you can thrive just like my sibling. Much love and support to everyone suffering from this condition. You got this.

They say she’s weak but she’s so strong and brave for sharing her story and experiences + advice 💪

*The bassist from school of rock!!*

I live with BIPOLAR 1 and I have had full blown manic episodes ...I was diagnosed at 17 but I started showing it at 15 .I am now 21 and I really hate the scares Bipolar has lefte with .Manic left me with traumatic bond and difficult life ... I love my self , hate my past I feel I have had wasted time. Nobody speaks about how empty Bipolar can feel . It's hard to trust your guts when your positive , I always think am getting manic ... What a blessing to be bipolar

I was diagnosed aged 19 when I was in psychiatric hospital. I am 37 now. I worked and still work hard on cognitive behavioural therapy, I don’t drink, I take my meds, there are some black times still, but I’m happy I’m alive. I work as a police custody medic. I know myself well, I know when I need to ask for help. I hope people out there know that you CAN live with this. Happy and well and secretly more magical than most 😉

I've experienced that a large issue with Bipolar patients is the denial of the Bipolar, so HUUUGE props for your acceptance, never mind public acknowledgement and sharing of your condition and experience. I am a daughter of a mom with a 26 year Bipolar type 1 diagnosis (Im 37 yrs old) and what the hardest part of this and any other type of mental or addiction condition is, is that that this affects those around the people with the condition as much as it does the person. Much strength to anyone reading this who knows or loves someone with any mental / addiction condition.

I can't imagine how hard it actually must be, I send love to every bipolar out there you guys are very strong

I'm so glad to finally see an accurate depiction of bipolar disorder. Thank you for this. ❤️

I could cry because of how I could exactly relate to her description of what it was like for her as a child.

When taken under supported conditions, psilocybin mushrooms can cause self-described spiritual experiences that generally result in positive changes in the person's attitude, mood and hehavior

this is a great representation of what bipolar || feels like. I wish people would stop describing it as “being really happy and really sad.” You captured the nuances perfectly. I am an artist and was terrified to lose my creativity, and I completely agree that it has improved tenfold with my medication. Thank you for being transparent and honest. :)

I've been diagnosed with bipolar type 2 and since getting on meds my life has improved 110%. I realized that before meds I was having container anxiety and panic attacks and my depression was also constant. I'm so glad more people are opening up about their mental health!

''im asking for help everyday,'' and she realises she is never ever alone is such a comforting good thing to see,learn and should be adressed more by anyone

I usually don’t click on these videos because acknowledging my bipolar disorder is mildly triggering for me, but hearing that you hit that absolute low point at the age of 19 really struck me, because I also hit that point at the same age. That’s when I was diagnosed. My parents and I suspected I had bipolar disorder since I was 13. My uncle has bipolar 2, we kinda connected the dots. I went to therapy and tried medications, but I wasn’t diagnosed up until I spent 5 days in psychiatric care. I finally received a proper diagnosis, Bipolar 1 disorder. It was terrifying; a final confirmation. Ever since then I haven’t quite been able to get back to working or doing anything for my future. It’s been hard to maintain relationships and find balance in my life, but the thought of being faced with suicidal thoughts or fatal burn out is absolutely terrifying. My diagnosis has altered my identity, confidence, and communication skills. Plus, I’m afraid that if I go back to normal then things will truly go back to “normal”. The good news is.. I’ve been free from suicidal thoughts for 6 months now! The longest I’ve felt free ever since I was 12. Ever since my diagnosis, it’s becoming easy for me to recognize when I’m entering an episode. It’s becoming easier everyday to identify my habits, improve, and find coping mechanisms. Even though not everyday is perfect, and I feel out of control, I’m going to keep fighting for my life. I love to see others fight this disorder. It’s always so relieving to hear I’m not alone. Thank you so much for sharing your story. 💖

I had a bipolar boyfriend once. Although I loved him deeply, I couldn't stand the constant roller-coaster so when once again he disapeared from our apartment for two weeks during another mania episode, I changed the lock on the door and sent his stuff back to his parents' house. He didn't want to be helped, refused to go to therapy or take meds. The highs were so scary and the lows... the lows were just unbearable. My heart really goes out to all the people living in such relationships, some of which can't really be walked out of. It's a Pandora box day in and day out, you never know what you will get. I guess it's different when the person actually accepts and gets treatment. I truly wish all the best to all of you suffering from this terrible illness. I hope you find your peace.

Just a friendly reminder that everyone struggles with mental illness in different ways, even those with the same condition! Thank you, Becca, for sharing how you experience yours! To anyone who has bipolar or thinks they have it, you don't have to experience it exactly like Becca does for it to be valid. Likewise for anyone who has GAD (like me) or depression or any other mental illness. :)

My sister has bipolar and i have dysthymia. I'm watching this to improve my knowledge in order to understand her and help her when she's down. I hope our life will be manageable

It’s a massive misconception that BPII manic episodes are “easier” or “less severe”.

I can't tell you how much this video helped me understand what I am feeling. I have recently been diagnosed with Bipolar and it's something I thought I might have but to actually fully have a name to it is scary but relieving. I appreciate your strength and transparency about your experience. This will resonate with me for a long time and you give me hope, so thank you for that

This was a very comforting video. I have MDD and it’s really...not easy. Thank you for sharing, Becca. :) To see someone discuss this so openly and without disgust or judgment, it feels like a breath of fresh air.

I was misDXed with Bipolar (PTSD does not mix well with 2 30mg Adderall XRs a day). The experience at the time was awful when it came to other humans, but I am so thankful for it now because it has given me the experience and perspective that people who do live with Bipolar go through. I had a bf at one point who took me to meet his mom and she would not come near me. We were at the mall and she purposely would sit 2 benches away from us. It was a really dehumanizing experience and what makes it wilder is that she started talking about it to a stranger and the stranger made a point to tell me how horrible people with Bipolar are. People can be downright disgusting towards those who have mental health troubles and people like this, who are willing to talk about their experiences, are slowly chipping away at that stigma and taboo. I've met a lot of people with Bipolar and they are some of the most brilliant, creative beams of light on this planet. They need to be protected.

Thank you for saying what is so hard for me to place in words. I'm also type two with PTSD, and with little to no support system. Quarantine also shattered alot of my support when I was beginning to have any and taking the steps to reach for help.

Thank you for your bravery and transparency! You show the human aspect to a condition that is so misunderstood in society and the media. I’m so glad that you have found understanding and healing through therapy and awareness. Absolutely agree that asking for help is so important. Thank you for the reminder that asking for help is not a sign of weakness. I needed that reminder today and I’m sure many others do as well. Thank you for sharing your story! ❤️

Short, straight and to the point. Thank you for making this video and sharing your story. It helps to fight the stigma against Bipolar D.O. and mental illness.

Her story sounds so relatable. I’m glad she found herself and found the courage to get the help she needs to live thru the fight it takes to be okay.

Becca, thank you for sharing your experience. I was misdiagnosed with Panic Disorder and Major Depression when I was 14. At 21, I remember losing control and that’s when my family helped me seek help & was diagnosed with Bipolar 2. Throughout my years, I felt like I had to make some sort of excuse to explain why I felt the way that I felt because I thought my own emotions weren’t enough. Mental health is important & I wish you all the best. Thank you.

I was diagnosed when I was 15. This video was nice to see. I’m 23 now and getting my masters in abnormal psychology. It really makes my heart warm to see the community and positivity and sharing in the comments. I love you all and be safe :) ps: please don’t self diagnose it’s very harmful. If you’re questioning things and struggling, go see someone who can give you that diagnosis and put you on the treatment path to feeling better! If you think you have a mental illness ask for help:) and remember if you’re contemplating anything harmful seek immediate help!

This is hands down the best explanation of Bipolar 2 I have ever heard. I resonate with my own BP from watching this, especially the part about how our sobriety is very important for recovery, thank you.

I feel so much related to you all, I am a pediatric oncologist and bipolar disorder made me loose my job, my patients and my fiancée due to a very serious suicide attempt, I was shining so bright; it was the mania. Mariana (the love of my life) does not wanna see me, I lost the best opportunities of my life so far and I also sleep all day. From the bottom of my heart I truly wish you all recover soon, find your balance and all the pieces rearrange together (including a good job).

As someone with bipolar, I appreciate you speaking so honestly about your experience. There's a lot of stigma around mental illness and sometimes it's hard to find someone who can relate to your experiences.

I am so touched watching this video. She is so brave and so strong when having dealt with her bipolar II alone. It's so healing to see how amazing she's getting over it. Thank you so much for giving hope to others who may suffer from mental illness.

Quit drinking just before the pandemic. Almost 18 years of getting black out drunk mostly because I didn’t know what all meant. Now almost 2 years sober I’m finding this is all me. It’s All me. And I’m just getting into the diagnosis and medication phase. I honestly thought the alcohol was going be it bu things only got worse until the booze was a symptom of something bigger. Thanks ❤

Thank you Becca 😊. I feel better after watching your video because I have experienced these highs and lows and have been afraid to call it bipolar. I am willing to seek help for myself and my two daughters. You presented the bipolar condition in a way that is not horrifying or terminal but hopeful.

Thank You Becca. I am the father of a man who has fought the bi polar battle since he was a child. On a day to day basis I sometimes forget the challenge bi polar presents and your video helped me to be empathetic and try harder to walk in my son's shoes. As difficult it is for the person with bi polar disease, it is also a challenge for those that love that person. Family members must be supportive, be slow to "judge" behavior and continue to learn all they can about this mental disorder.

Its hard to have mental illness coz its not talk openly here in my place (Philippines). I have bipolar 1 disorder and i manage it but everytime i show my PWD ID, i feel low. Hope i can overcome it. I always put in mind that im going to be an inspiration to others soon despite of all of this. For those who have mental illness,i prayed we can overcome our fears,phobias,and traumas. Wish you all a happy life. Much love Hazel from Philippines.🙏❤💛

Hey, thanks for putting this together. The more we understand about managing symptoms and respecting rights, people might live fuller lives.

Diagnosed Bipolar 2 in December last year and medicated since October before that. Hearing other people's experiences with this really helps reaffirm that I'm doing the right thing by taking my meds and practising self care. It's easy to forget what you went through before, and you start to feel like maybe you're just being dramatic

This pushes me to be a psychiatrist a lot more than ever♡. I'll work for it. I wanna help people out there. ☹

Thank you. Some people needed to hear this.

I was only diagnosed at 45 years old....I wish I’d have had my meds at 20, my family would have had a different life. The meds changed our lives and I often think about this illness in times gone by when people had to deal with it for life and often ended up with suicide. I was also verging on alcoholism to cope with life with it, and this made my children suffer. My meds aren’t perfect, tiredness and weight gain, but you describe it all on the nail!....

Thanks for this. I am also living with bipolar 2. So grateful when I got diagnosed.

She seems like a kind and empathetic person. I hope she’s doing well, I really hope for the best for her 💜💜💜

Thank you for posting this, I too have bipolar type 2 and this made me emotional to see someone so much like myself 🤦‍♀️✊🏽

Thank you for sharing this I don’t suffer from Bi polar but someone I love does so I want too get as much knowledge as possible.

Thank you for this video. When you don't feel well or you're sick the most impossible thing to do is to get help for yourself. It took more courage and strength to wait the 6 weeks to finally see a psychiatrist. My bipolar was unmanageable and my quality of life totally sucked. It's been a year now that with my psychiatrist and a combination of Prozac & Vraylar. I'm doing very well. Don't ever be afraid to ask for help. Saved my life. ❤️🙏

Thank you for sharing for the whole bipolar community and for the world in general to understand this category of mental and physical pain.

Feels like hell living with bipolar disorder, it is so exhausting especially without meds :(

Thank you so much!!!! This is beautiful.

That really really helped me. I can totally relate to Becca and seeing, that a life and partculary a life as an artist is possible gives me hope. I'm really thankful for her to talk about it so truly and open. Thank you!

Thank you for posting this video! It hits close to home big time. My older brother is bipolar 1 & mental health struggles within our whole family. I sincerely believe there is a major heiretitary factor to it. My oldest daughter is experiencing major depression & anxiety, to the point of pulling her from school. I clicked on your vid bc that is how she is experiencing symptoms as well starting at 13yrs old. She's going to be 15 in a few months. I have her in therapy as well as seeing a psychiatrist & on a anti depressant. I, as well as my 2 brothers & my sister, have struggled with addictions throughout our lives starting at a very young age...my daughter's age actually. & I've been sober on & off throughout my 37yrs. I've been In recovery for 10yrs now & I refuse to let my daughter struggle silently in her room & posb start self medicating or hurt herself bc I didn't get help when I was young. I think she has bipolar disorder, she has mania that last for days & is up ALL night to the next morning painting or drawing. I don't have a problem with her expressing herself in this way bc it could be MUCH worse but it's still so worrisome bc Drs & psychiatrist don't usually diagnose bipolar disorder so young. I know that her Dad & I are Expressing our concern to them but falls on deaf ears sometimes. My fear is letting it get worse & have her struggle even more before diagnosing her. My older brother has tried to commit suicide multiple times & is NOT taking his meds. He has a severe addiction & has been homeless living in the woods with his g.f, (running partner) who feeds off his erratic behavior & chaos. It's Soo upsetting bc he literally is one of the best ppl I've EVER had in my life & is such a special soul. He's just lost like so many out there struggling. THANK YOU for posting this & putting yourself out there to help others. I think helping others with your story is a way to heal your inner self & direct your energy in a positive way. Thanks girl for being brave! 💪👊💞💯

This is almost my exact experience and story, all the down to getting diagnosed in 2017! I'm so glad to hear other folks succeeding.

Just turn it on it's side and cellooooooo you got a bass! Stay strong, rockstar

I know everyone’s experience is different, but your experience is nearly identical to how I have felt since I was a teenager. I’m currently being treated for MDD, but recently had a week of just heightened emotions (the most intense yet) and people around me noticed. I felt really on top of the world, now I’m starting to feel the comedown. Talking to my doc tomorrow. Thank you for sharing this

Thank you Becca for sharing your story and strength with us.

This video made me seek therapy and finish my master's, I was self sabotaging myself so much last year, I still am a little but therapy helped. Made me finally submit my work.

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I have an adult child who was recently diagnosed with Bipolar II. You helped me understand a little bit more.

I am so thankful for you sharing your life. I believe my 25 yr old son is Bipolar and I need to get him help, but I am lost. I have tried talking to him about seeking therapy, but he refuses. I will share this video with him and pray to God he doesn't go into a rage. Thank you so much!!

How brave of you. I struggle as well. Thank you for being open and honest. You are loved.

When she mentions her mom having depression and her dad just "brushing it off"... that hit me a bit because if our parents would acknowledge mental health and seek the treatment it would help break the chain of suppressing and they could help their children treat any traces of it before it goes to the extreme. I often feel its difficult to really progress and heal because my parents either deny their issues or dont want to seek treatment so this has lead me to want to keep my distance for the most part because part of my issues were formed from their mental health and some of their addictions... it should be a family effort more than you do you and i do me. It affects everyone in the family.

THANK YOU for this brilliant representative for those of us who struggle and survive💕

Thank you for sharing. It's so important to make public aware espically for those of us moms who questions her children.

Thanks for the insight I'm currently getting evaluated for bipolar with my therapist. It's nice to know you're not alone. 🧡

I like her energy, she is so charming and bright.

Thank you for this, shows me that I’m not as alienated as I feel most of the time.

You NAILED it ... I've dealt with being Type 2 for almost 15 years ... and it can STILL be like driving the struggle bus! Thank you for putting this out there, that it might help others.

I got diagnosed a few months ago, and this video is a huge help. Now I can point to something to explain how I feel. Thank you🙏🏾💞

I'm turning 20 and I've been struggling with depression for years now. I've been dealing with it all alone and told my psychiatrist to not tell my family because living in an Asian household *old fashioned* mental illness doesn't really exist and I'm just overreacting. I've finally opened up to my 2 bestfriend and im doing fine as of the moment

Okay, people. I need to get it out. I have been feeling the same since I've had terrible relationship issues which then grew worse with anxiety attacks. I had medication to treat my anxiety but never could explain what I was feeling. This video accurately depicts it and to be honest, I kinda knew it within me but was afraid to admit it to myself just because how the society is here in India. Thank God RU-vid for this recommendation and thank you for making this video. I've done terrible things in life. I've faced terrible things. I don't demand sympathy or apologies for either of them, but I'm glad I finally know what's wrong with me.

Thank you. Bringing awareness. Trying to support my Dad for over 35 years. Been hard to get him proper help and medication.

The worst part is how inaccessible &/or generally crappy mental health services are in the US. We struggle just finding a decent, affordable, and accessible treatment programs and therapists. We've dealt w/ programs that have too few personnel, space is limited, and access to an actual therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist, and they simply throw drugs w/ little to no diagnostic work-up. There's also too little support for loved ones who are their support system.

The way she’s talking about sounds like a exact representation of my life from start to finish. I’ve never been clinically diagnosed, but my god. This sounds like me! ☹️

Watching this video and the few others I have found is definitely helping me realize that no one is alone. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder just before I turned 25 so it's only been a few months and I'm having a huge issue with it. My fiance and my best friend are the only 2 people in my life right now who have been supportive. When I told my family they made some not so nice remarks about it and it's had me Ina rough space. To go along with my bipolar disorder I also fight PTSD and that's made it even more rough to actually live my life. I've been cooping myself up in my home a lot more than normal and barely touch anything related to my hobbies. Most of all though I've been scared because I had multiple times in my life where I tried to commit suicide but no one found out till I moved out of my parents home. When my fiance became closer there was a time that he had done everything he could because I had another moment of suicide thoughts that was almost real. I'm really glad that now knowing what I have gives me relief and the education of it all.

You are not alone and now it’s becoming more clear to me that I am not either. Bipolar 2 was my diagnosis at age19 (I’m 20 now) I was scared and confused but with extensive research, therapy and medications everything is becoming increasingly easier each day. Thank you.

Thank you so much for this video. I recently got diagnosed with bipolar II and it has been a whirlwind since. This video was so validating and helpful. 💜

This was such an excellent short explanation of bipolar (I have bipolar 1 myself and I felt like this efficiently and impactfully touched on the major points of the illness and will be helpful for sharing with others). Thank you!

Very courageous and positive. I just wish clinicians would remind those who are bipolar that negative feelings towards taking the medication will and can occur. They should give out a hotline specifically for medication problems.

oh girl, this hits too close to home! I could be the one talking.. goosebumps and shivers. stay strong!

Hey I just wanted to say thank you for this, I can relate to a lot of it and it feels good to hear somebody put their experiences into words. I'm glad you're living a more peaceful life and you're here to share your experiences and wisdom with us. Cheers!