The X Toxic husband seemed to slip into dissociation and at times violence. He could then be the most calm articulate person soon after when interacting with authorities. It became too stressful and scary never knowing when he would explode, it did not involve arguments, it was his mind, his delusions, his lies and cheating, living a secret life. What a very sad way to live ones life in older years. Divorcing at late 60's with chronic illness is a challenge but I have a peaceful home, no Dr Jekyll/ Mr Hyde. 🙏🏼
It’s sad and pathetic, they will take their distorted views with them to their grave. No alternative views. No considerations. No second thoughts. No compromises.
Yep. My grandfather did this. His last few weeks of life he was frail and “softer”, but never made amends with anyone. The viewing and funeral was sad for everyone because there was absolutely not one thing positive to say. It was broken hearts with disappointing things to share. I understand why my mother is who she is, but I wish she was a cycle breaker.
In my experience with a family member who is a narcissist, he's either a liar or delusional and he projects his own bad behavior on others. There is no "winning" an argument with him. The only way my parents and I were able to deal with him is to continually crush him in court and hearings. After 6 lawsuits against my parents and me, I haven't heard from him (through attorneys) in 8 months. Narcissists are cancer that's best cut out of your life.
When I was traumatised in relationship with my mother, living close by and full of fear and confusion, I don't think I could have learned to be calm and assertive. I needed several years away from the torment, learning what it was all about and learning to detach emotionally and calm myself. Now I feel confident that I could face the flying monkeys calmly (my mother died). But also, I have no desire to see them and certainly not to please them any more. I begged for so long, but I don't even want to be with them now. I have a new life with kinder people. I learned that bullies can't be persuaded and I don't really care what they think of me any more.
I used to try and argue but have learned to walk away saying nothing. My narcissist will even try to pick up same argument later and I will still walk away.
Good reminder of their disrespect, and to maintain a place of peace from which to respond to their communication, if and when it’s in a manner and time that is most healthy for me.
The confusing part is that sometimes she is generous and even kind. I believe this person is a histrionic with a high degree of narcism. I love this person, but know she will never change (she's 79). It's so sad she's stuck.
I appreciate how you discuss narcissistic behavior more broadly where as most therapists discuss narcissism more situationally in the context of intiment relationships.
Dr. C. I truly appreciate your videos and have been watching for years. A counselor told me this line in regards to mine: "He is a fight waiting to happen".
Everything is an excuse to escalate. Arguing back with them with a raised voice is "childish" or "attitude" even though EVERYBODY does it. Using my being scatterbrained as an excuse to say I'm purposely ignoring things/confuse me. Questioning my Agoraphobia diagnosis because I choose to be in a nonthreatening group rather than near an antagonistic bully. Saying there's absolutely nothing wrong with me, even though I have a bunch of physical & mental issues.
Sometimes that's all you can do! Confronting him to his face is only going to hurt you, because he'll never understand what you're upset about to begin with...
Working hard at healing my OCD & people pleasing behaviors, has really helped with the narcs in my life. Living with them is like having exposure therapy every day, & I think they resented my strength but now know it’s not going anywhere when they treat me poorly, but I will. I thought walking away was weak, nope.
One thing just crossed my mind want share We can not force a system beyond its capabilities We cannot expect from narcissists the very things that they are not capable of providing to themselves . It’s futile thinking to force, narcissists can even malfunction further deeper into narcissistic characteristics.
Arguing also gives them a chance to put one down even more than they have already done. They will control the whole conversation and then end it when they want to end it. Thank you Dr. Carter for some very valid points we all need to ponder. I hope everyone has a very Happy New Year full of lots of Peace.
My dear Dr C you are always talking to us. Thank you. The first time i heard the word Narcissist was in the 60s reading Oscar Wilde's The picture of Dorian Gray. I thought that's it, i know the meaning of the word....six decades later i am reading it again over Christmas and will go to the play in London in February with new understanding what's all about. We can only wish for peace in us and around us in the New Year. In England you would deserve a OBE from the King. ❤
It's really hard and devastating to force myself to give up on someone that i love or trauma bond sooo much! Im slowly getting there but knowing that he is doomed to misery for life and basically unlovable, is tearing me apart. I have nothing left to give him. I lost everything trying to prove my very obvious love to him. Dammit. 😢
Wow. This "lesson" explains and describes a lot, eliciting both smiles and concern as I recognize the scenarios. I don't know if you repeated yourself deliberately or not but it definitely made me momentarily confused. (I'm wondering why I'd be overly sensitive to this tactic. I have gotten much better at recognizing the irrationality of his arguments and have found it makes me better able to just walk away from it.) Best advice: "Be assertive behaviorally," Making a list will be difficult. I can give it a try.
With my relative it is that he thinks he is so superior to everyone, and, he is a misogynist (Because he had no male example as a kid and apparently thinks that is how men are suppose to be). It is impossible to have a normal conversation with him. Example, "look daddy, McDonald's gave him a nice toy in his happy meal", 😶"They ALL come with toys [stupid]". Or "the coffee shop that burned down is doing a great business in its new location!" 😶 "well if you'd paid attention you would know they did a great business in their old location too so that comment was unnecessary" ugh, I've simply decided to gray rock him because NO subject or conversation is safe with him. 😬
Ps, they think, they know it whatever the it is, the better. They hear ONLY THEMSELVES, so if you go along, they hear their minds because you say what they have in mind, there is a song a title and it says in a kind of I don't know in English, it like sarcasme..kind of ...." Anything you can do I can do better..I can do anything better than you . I can do ...(the whole time the voice is singing this). It's probably from a narc🤪. PLUS I listened just now to the lyrics because of a comment who knows the title etc. In the song is everytime the word: I. So it's what I already wrote..they assume and BELIEVE it's all about them!.
@@THRASHMETALFUNRIFFS oh yeah....I forgot the words... important in this lyrics... anything you can do .. And now I'm wondering but also not want to know what that person had in mind to come up with this lyrics.
I don't live at home anymore ( thank god) and my father is in his mid 90s ( he's still totally uptight) but back in the day when he was accusatory with that abrasive presumption on being right on the reality of things I would merely say " You're totally misperceiving things, sounds like nonsense" or " That's a bizarre and delusional thing to say" - He would scurry off or calm down and act normal FAST. Deep down narcissists are deeply pained and cowardly frightened people. They don't like mirrors when they act out. One time, in the middle of a high decibel, shrieking, name calling, tantrum , my brother whipped out the camcorder and started taping him, lawd, he just sobered up in a split second and beat it like we never saw an old man run
They CAN do better, most of them, that's the real problem. They often do just fine when around someone who could actually get them in trouble. Cops? Fine. Teachers? Fine. Pastor? They're a saint and the sweetest person the authority figure ever met. But their kid, or a service worker who can't fight back? A pet who had the nerve to be sick and inconvenience them? THEN you see their real face. They are capable of at least performing appropriate behavior. They just don't unless they HAVE to. They only do things to benefit themselves, period.
Can you talk about narcisissists victim's relation with religion? Sometimes I think the relationship with God is also affected by trauma, such as not getting away from a narc family due to fear of God judgement (which I learned with a Priest, that it shouldn't bother you leaving toxic people).
Please don't get religion confused with staying in a relationship with a toxic individual. The Bible commands us to forgive the people who hurt us (and sometimes we have to forgive them more than once), but there is NO WHERE in Scripture that says we "have to" stay in a relationship with somebody who's verbally or physically abusing us. Think about it: why would a gracious and merciful GOD want us to come home every night to a person who's only going to bash us in the head the minute we walk in the door? No, He loves us too much for that! I struggled for years with my narc, and like many others, I believed that I was being offensive to GOD because I couldn't stay in the relationship. But I am learning (and have learned) a lot about forgiveness from various sermons and Bible teachings. I am learning that while forgiveness may be hard sometimes (and take a lot of work!), we are still commanded to forgive and to love them, even if it's from a distance, but that doesn't mean we have to go out to dinner with them, meet them at the park, have a few laughs in their living room, etc. We are well within our Christian right NOT to be in relationship with people who we know mean us harm at every turn. GOD grants us a number of sermons on the subject through Alfred Street Baptist Church! Some of us don't make it out of our abusive situations. Please don't let yourself be one of them! In Jesus Name ❤️.
They think of a compromise as losing a fight. So they become more antagonistic even if it's a subtle conflict. 😮 There's no such thing as a constructive conflict with them. it's always destructive. 😦
Constantly moving the goal posts and deliberately misinterpreting what I say is the experience I have had with the narcissistic family member. Her justification is that she is being strong and assertive and telling the truth. It's her own version of the truth that can change from one minute to the next to suit her agenda.
I have a pair of family members like that. They will not sign a written agreement to anything ever because they will agree to one thing then the next time they talk move the terms of the agreement to favor them even more and act like they never made the first agreement. Give them enough time and the final agreement is nothing like what the original one was.
@@mrsqueakthecat.8061 they keep going on and on, wearing their victims down. It amazes me where they get the emery from to do it and how they think it's a good use of their time.
@@robshorts I see it like criminals that put more effort into doing stupid illegal things to earn a few dollars than if they just went out and worked part-time jobs.
I see you are familiar with their two biggest singles: "I NEVER SAID THAT!" and "I DON'T REMEMBER THAT!" when their doubling-down doesn't suit their purpose.
the most despicable thing about a narcissist is that they know exactly what they’re doing and know it’s wrong and they simply don’t care. narc conversations (especially when you raise a concern) are more like contests than reasonable discussions. you must be defeated by any means necessary. narcs aren't interested in mutual understanding and cooperation. they are only interested in domination, power, and control. cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁
@sandrathomas2893 narcissists are incapable of self reflection. they suppress their shame so they don't have to come to terms with it. after each relationship blow-up, they simply find someone else they can manipulate.
I'm not sure these broken people do realize that what they do is wrong. In their mind their behavior is correct and acceptable. You are the flawed one!
@@kcl060 Aww, thx. A byproduct of being a narcissist abuse survivor, I had to learn to say things quickly, before my (now ex) spouse would cut me off, or tell me to “just shut up.”
@@aaronkwolfeYep. I call it the 3.5 sec. Rule to get it said. So how you say it counts. Like be up on a table with a rose in your mouth, type of Flair.
My sister is 4 years older than me, and I have said for years that its impossible to even have a simple conversation about anything. She would get loud, negative and you would finally just give up out of frustration. It WAS totally exhausting! I had no choice to go no contact after she turned on me when another sibling was in town visiting. I don't need friends or family that cause that amount of tension.
very similar situation here, too. Sister, 4.5 years older always disagreeable and snarky. Exhausting. No contact for 4 years, now. I send Christmas and Birthday ecards, to keep track of her, so to keep my distance. That's it. No big fight, I just never call/email her and she does the same. We are waiting to see which one of us dies first. LOL She's been dead for a long long time.
If I simply ask, for example: "Could you please close the dogfood bag after feeding so it's not stale?" It's like a bomb went off in my home. He will inevitability state that i am "attacking him...he needs to defend himself, and I am the one who does it, not him." I can't request anything of him without the conversation going nuclear.
Sometimes my family uses things like this to create an argument. Its a way of “dumping” their yucky feelings onto us. There’s literally no basis for these silly little things. Nonsensical.
Omg that is my husband too 😮. And to top it off- I would have asked in a normal tone, but he will claim that I said it in a nasty way. He will then “demonstrate” how I said it, and it was ABSOLUTELY NOT how I said it. I’m left to defend myself once again, and say “I did NOT say it that way and you know it” I’m sick of living my life this way.
THIS is what I deal with all the live long day. 😂 I am just learning to stabilize around their abrupt laughter and whimsical voices. Even the loud slamming doors and cabinets no longer have an effect. It took years of practice.
My narc sister is 78, a widow, and just argues for the sake of arguing! I call her on it, and she just laughs. I get quiet and say nothing more. Dr, everything you point out about Narcissistic people is so true! She is 8 years older, my only sibling, and when I was born, it ruined her world and she has let me know it ever since! She lives 2700 miles away from me, and is dying to have me move near to her (she says 15 minutes away!). No thanks!! She is always right, 1000% of the time. I let her chortle away…no comment.
You are wise not to relocate. I did before I learned about narcissism, and it was a disaster . Lies,fit rage,silent treatment , name calling,smear campaign,etc. I had to go no contact, and I moved back home across America. I am at peace and will not tolerate not being disrepected by others.I am the door, not the doormat. ❤
I can think of several reasons: 1) they accuse you of things and 2) try to force a reaction which will then lead to 3) shifting the focus off of them and their actions. 4) They are not interested in a solution or compromise but 5) always try keep the upper hand and 'win' the argument. 6) When you try to talk about yourself and an issue that concerns you, they turn it around and then it is about them and suddenly they need to be cared for. .... Long story short: It is never about what it really should be about and their style always shifts the focus on whatever may be the most convenient for them
Seems to be prevalent in general these days. We need to keep a sense of humility in dealing with "them". ( Not that I don't have some some ridiculous narcissists in particular to deal with, myself. ) It's pretty darn human to downplay our errors / offenses, or worse, evils, while high-lighting what "they" do. Sorry, my intention is not to refute all that the OP stated, but to add nuance and personal accountability for all of us to consider. Yes, myself included. Any hint of hypocrisy contributes to greater stagnation in our relationships.
I despise my argumentative, delusional and oppositional grandiose father. He makes my skin crawl. He prides himself with playing devil's advocate, and lectures instead of having a conversation. He's so thin skinned. Now, I look at him and tell him " I'm not taking the bait" and walk away.
"Devil's Advocate" -- my (NOW-EX!) younger home care client would drive me up a wall when he'd want to argue about everything, but especially, when he would admit he agreed with me but STILL wanted to argue the opposite side anyway. He just LOVED arguing! No wonder he was the "flying monkey" for my (NOW-EX!) older home care client-- for 40 YEARS. Apparently, all they ever did was argue.
Yes, I learned that those who "play Devil's advocate" should be avoided. You have to ask why they're playing that game at all unless it is a classroom setting and a lecturer presents an alternative view to be discussed. In a social setting, it's simply being an energy vampire.
How dare you disagree? It's ok you can disagree😊 but arguing with them is futile. Set boundaries and avoid him. Don't make his problem your problem cause it's not about you! (Even though he probably says it is.) "Observe Don't Absorb" is a good thing to remember. Let their insults roll off like water on a ducks back.😂 🦆 God bless!❤
Thank you🙏perfectly articulated Dr.Carter👌it’s so hard for a lot of us to understand what’s happening until it hits a quite abusive pattern and it’s actually taking a toll on your sanity.Thank you for these informative videos!Im so grateful you make them..I love your opening music.I simply line dance wherever I stand or get up and do it wherever I’m sitting 😂❤😊👋🏽👌💯
Wow Sir I've learnt so much from your videos and feel so good after years of years of dealing with a narcissist coworker I can't avoid deal with... Thanks Dr. C
Thank you so much for your content 🙏🙏 You are explaining everything in a way which gives an explanation to the very gasligting and confusing behavior of the narcissist. It is very difficult to accept the fact that a mother is exactly all this. Even if I've seen it for 40 years. Still hard to understand the meanness. My mind wants to think "she is my mother, she can not want bad for me. She can't be happy and content about my sadness. She can't be cruel towards her own daughter ". Even when the behavior is exactly that. It's sad and a struggle to understand.
My wife usually starts with personal insults, followed by recriminations, and then shaming. Any reply that I have is interrupted, followed by badgering. Next up is mocking, and attacks on my basic character or interests. Her tone is always aggressive, harsh or imperative commands. Actually, now, I avoid conversations with her as much as possible. Basically she is a very mean person but strangely sees herself as a wonderful Christian woman. I wonder what Christ would say to her in the midst of her verbal assault.
I would assume, “Peace be still.” And, wives are to honor their husbands. I have the same, but with my husband. Very draining, exhausting, and grievous sin in His eyes since we’re to be one.
The truest form of narcissism is not self-love, but rather the obsession with one's own importance-a craving for admiration and a willingness to exploit others to satisfy that craving. - Roxane Gay
My Dad dumped his hatred towards mother and others on me all of my life and did it 3 days in a row recently. I think I am right to put some space between us and the rest of the toxic family so I can heal.
@@SurvivingNarcissism Hi Dr. Carter, I often feel trapped as I am financially dependent on my narc mom. She always finds ways to make me do things, and if I say it makes me anxious, she threatens to cut me off. I’m an adult, with health issues. I stay away from her, but I still have to write “progress reports” now for her. If I don’t, she said she’ll take away my caregiver. She doesn’t even care about my well-being. Screamed at me constantly after brain surgeries. Like soon after. Her son is her golden child. The son who never even spoke to me since before my surgeries. She treats him so well and with respect. Any advice would be so appreciated.
My sister is just 1 1/2 years older than me, but that's enough to make it where she is always right and always above me. I seem to irritate her anytime I open my mouth, no matter what I say!
I'm four years older than my narc (been together all of our lives!), yet every time somebody gets angry with me she always takes their side and tells me what I did wrong to hurt them. I've never hurt anybody in my life on purpose. She should know that, but any chance she gets to humiliate me, she doesn't hesitate to use it.....
On Christmas Eve I went out to dinner with two people that I don't know too well. One of them began talking politics and became very angry and animated when she realised that we didn't agree with everything she said. She dominated most of the evening and both myself and the other lady agreed with the Narc for part of the time. This was mainly to pacify her, in the hope she would calm down. We drew a line when she wanted us to totally agree with what she was saying. I was started to feel drained and in desperation said "But I don't care" and that "I have no interest in politics". I held my ground and repeated this a few times, she responded by getting up from the table paying her part of the bill and leaving the restaurant! As she walked past us she said "You won't shut me up" Phew!!!! I will avoid this person like the plague. I have a lot of experience with people with narcissistic traits and feel that I should have removed myself from the abuse much sooner, but it slowly creeps up on you and before you know it the Narc is sucking the life out of you. Thank you so much Dr. C.
Thank you Dr. C, I just divorced my Covert Narcissistic husband after 39 years. Now I’m trying to deal with my adult kids, the issue is that my husband and kids also have ADHD. I always thought it was only the ADHD that I was dealing with but now everything makes sense. I feel like a survivor. Just haven’t found a therapist that deals with both. Still searching for ways to help my kids and myself. Thank you for all that you do.
Living with a brain in fight or flight flooded with cortisol causes brain fog and confusion; trauma brain. ADHD is often diagnosed when you don't know you're living in a narcissistic abuse cycle and your nervous system is wrecked and your brain is literally damaged.
Which narcissist? Is there any narcissist at all there? Which battle to pick arguing in? Sometimes there is no easy answers when an debate might end up taking way too long for coming to a close. When that is a healthy professor offering a formal lecture that is easy to know how to behave there. At other times sometimes I am left wondering what clue to advance my thoughts to a higher plane on the same plane as they are after being granted the opportunity to be included as the only person in the audience during their interview process at the time. There is a big difference between dialoging with your other team mates; spending time with your family members and not wanting to waste your time with someone who is often overriding your all of your day to day decisions from how many creams for your coffee you want there and how many creams for your coffee to take home with you and how much closer the 2 of you are going to sit at the table together duiring COVID-19 World Health Organization recommendations we want to follw ourselves too despite that controller - blah blah blah. At that point you move on. Not anything to worry about.
This helped my realize that trying to talk to a narcissist I would always try to converse in such a way that they would not find that one tiny thing to jump all over and cue the flying monkeys to laugh. (Like saying something was mauve, and getting "That's PINK. Har! har! Har! You are just so cute, honey.") You practically can't talk. ("That's MIST honey, it's not FOG! Har har! Now, what were you trying to say? ) And forget sharing that funny story when you made a mistake and learned better. You walk in to share and connect, but they got that red grading pen ready! The smackdown was ready.
Early on with my (NOW-EX!) clients, the older guy (the dominant one) would ask me questions, and when I'd be answering, he's INTERRUPT. One day, my momentum in telling a story was so disturbed, I said, "Don't interrupt!" He got VERY offended, and later, while going food shopping with his younger partner, the guy accused me (based on what the older guy told him) that I'd told the older guy "SHUT UP!" Again, living in defiance of reality. Trying to tell ME what I had said, when I was there, and I knew exactly what I had said, or not. That G** D***ed assignment never should have gone past the first 6 months. Prolonged exposure to SICK BASTARDS like that can prevent you from thinking clearly or acting logically. And I'm suffereing for it RIGHT NOW.
"I don't like it when you say that, mom." "Say what?" "What you just said 10 seconds ago." "I said something to you?" "Of course, mom, when you lie like you did to me, now 20 seconds ago, I hate it." "You rate it?" "No, I hate it." "Skate bit?" "Mom, your hearing aids are working fine. We were just now talking and then you lied again." "Ride a bin?" "Mom, this drives me crazy when you do this, we were having a conversation and you said something untrue again and you were understanding every word I said, as soon as I confronted you, you pretended you couldn't understand." "What did I do?" "You said something untrue." "I did?" "Mom, you know you did. You know that I know and you don't care." "I didn't say anything to you." "We were just talking, mom." "We were?" "You know we were!" "I just have dementia, honey, I don't know what I'm saying anymore." It can really depress you.
Thank you Dr. Carter for the exceptional synopsis, and I was wondering if you might be able to offer any insights into passive-aggressive narcissism with schizophrenic elements, where individuals might actually hear and perceive conversations, events and images differently from reality and attempt and sometimes successfully confuse, gaslight and assault others with their warped reality? I am concerned for someone who is literally smoking and drinking himself to death in order to suppress the painful reality of where his narcissistic denial and ego has brought him, which suggests to me, he is still somewhat conflicted over his narcissistic state and actually seems to have some awareness that he is hurting others and what drives him to be that way, but finds it too painfully to crack the door on his rotten nature as the flood gates will open. I realize such individuals will manipulate in profound ways, but that this person might not be fully hardened and might possibly recover, as I've observed in a couple of rare cases with persons who were schizophrenic and narcissistic who with some pretty skilled psycho-therapy, extricate themselves from the depths of their narcissistic compensations and see their schizophrenic thinking, and I'd be interested if you have encountered profound recoveries similar to that in your practice?
you know, listening to your videos have helped me sooo much to understanding the relationship i just let go. I was dating a undercover Narc. No rational discussions EVER EVER EVER. Yelling for an hour straight at the top of his lungs, blaming me and turning the issue on me and never focusing on the issue but keeping the argument going on something entirely different that i would be so mixed up, head swimming, heart throbbing, stomach churning, ears arching that i would just say forget. your a godsend. After the 3rd time after I shared how it made me feel and we are not getting anywhere. I ended it. The rejection I felt pain all over because we could never resolve issues. and he was up set I sent him on his way to terrorize someone else. lol Chicago Love
They'll never ask why (except a statement not a question as in why did you do that! ), otherwise there is no why, why do you feel ass you do, why do you conclude that, why do you consider things that way, why are things the way they are. There is no why. So when arguing they're just trying to win, they don't want to know why you or they believe what you or they do. If they've made a decision based on what others or the news tells them they have absolutely no interest in why you think differently. They won't believe you as in their heads you're lesser than. Argue and they'll work harder in their punishing style to make you wrong! It's not an argument, it's an exercise in futility frustrationm anger and hurt, and yes I had one of these withing an hour of meeting fam on Xmas eve 😧✌
They are emotionally disturbed with little peace and contentment. Never match pitch. Be brief, assertive, and behave in line with your goals and values. Stay away, and don't engage. Set stipulations for future encounters. Know what you are dealing with. Stay true to you. You deserve respect and peace. As always, thanks, Doc.❤
There's is absolutely no end to their constant illogicalness! It can go on and on and then some more! It's really deep, Dr. C! Reveals so much more about them than about us! Funny not funny.😊
OMG YES YES YES!!!! Now I understand why even simple discussions would go off the rails! He would say “my opinions is just facts” meaning I was clearly wrong. It was infuriating! Thank goodness I finally broke free of that toxic relationship.
Why do some narcissists only sulk when triggered face to face, but will only argue, be mean, rude, nasty, gaslight and blame others via text messages or email?
I love the wisdom in Scripture (Deuteronomy 2:3): You've been going in circles in these mountains long enough; go north. This is what it's like trying to have any conflict or discussion with a narc. You cannot win because they will not back down or ever see your point of view. Go north!
My mother seems to be the classic overt toxic narcissist. I swear, my entire life, I'd hear her argue or debate, and she could be without any doubt, clearly in the wrong, all evidence supported her being wrong. Yet, without fail, by nothing less than magic, she would win. My dad was a pedo and she was a teenage mom, so there was a trauma bond I only recently discovered. It's painful but more so empowering to sit back and see the past with clearer vision. We are the total sum of our experiences and perceptions of those experiences. To have real compassion for the narcissist is a good sign of healing, I think. The damage they do.
Unfortunately, I haven't gotten to the point where I can truly have compassion for my narcissist. I love my sister (and always will), but I struggle to forgive all the things that she has done! But I know that I'll get there; for this I am constantly in prayer. Overt narcissists are possibly the worst people there are on this planet. They're never wrong, they know more than anybody else, and they think that the world owes them obedience simply because they're here......❤.
My experience with them is whatever you bring up must have irrefutable evidence, but you have absolutely no right to question their statements in any way.
His favorite arguments "You/I dont know what you're talking about." Or "You need to learn to shut up." There is no decency or maturity whatsoever. Two narcs have told me that if God wants to correct them, he has to do it himself. 😮
My favorite from my x, " you've been messed up since you were a kid" He didn't know me when I was a kid lol. I met him when he was 25. Then I'd ask, what exactly did I say or do that was messed up?? Refresh my memory?? 😁 He'd then fall into the typical, " everyone knows you were!! Everyone says you were"!! Lol Then I'd say, I like this game....ok ..like who exactly?? Name 1 person out of "everybody"... I don't have to name anyone!! Don't tell me what to do!! I walk away...."I knew you couldn't "😁 He soooooooooo hated me for seeing through him! Yeah ...my own husband. Insane!!!
I appreciate all of your clips. Very helpful. Now I understand thst crazy man I was married to and put up with for 10 and 1/2 years. I divorced him eventually. Now he continues to be my nieghbor, nomatter where I move to.
Yes, they can certainly put a spin on things that will have others believing that they're the victims. My narc was good at using the "silent treatment" to make people apologize for the things she did to them. Decided not to fall into her trap this year. I'm not about to help her display her phoniness for all the world to see.
Thank you, Dr. C. I pray you are feeling so much better because you were having that laryngitis earlier and sometimes you pre-record videos so I’m not sure if this one was a pre-recorded one or you’re really feeling better. Happy new year and thank you for all your videos and give Gus a big hug from us. From JANESVILLE, WISCONSIN USA