I asked married women another question..."What is ONE sentence you would go back and tell yourself in the first year of marriage?" These are their responses.
I'd say to myself: "Forget about 'marriage is hard' and relax, you are doing great!" - I've heard 'marriage is hard' so much that I expected a huge problem behind every corner. I was waiting for the problems to hit me any minute and it stressed me out. I wanted to be prepared. In reality, marriage was and still is the easiest part of my life. If I could do it again I would trust ourselves more (both him and myself) and be more relaxed. You can always freak out later if necessary ;)
My husband and I were pulled aside at our wedding reception by my cousin and gave us one piece of advice that he was given on his wedding day. "Do not have expectations for your first year. Life happens and expectations can set you up for disappoinment." We enjoyed our first year of marriage the hard times and great times.
"Memento Mori" - "remember your death" I say this not to be depressing, but to keep everything in perspective. Remembering this and seriously thinking about it has really let me let go of the small things and keep in focus the things that are important. Don't wait for a tragedy to happen to have the right perspective on life.
I'm not married yet, but in a relationship with the man I know I will eventually marry. I'm all about collecting marriage advice and learning from it. I do realize this can't prepare me 100%, but, I like to learn what I can about marriage so it can benefit us in the future. I have put together a whole playlist on my RU-vid where I just add videos with valuable marriage/relationship advice. This video has been added to that list.
If I could add a little advice on that because I've been you: trust your instincts when it comes to advice. Not every advice is suitable for everyone, people are very different. So feel free to dismiss advise that doesn't feel helpful - even this one I'm giving you right now ;)
Yes to 38! People are constantly asking when we are going to have kids. We have been married over a year but we still aren’t looking at having kids for at least 3 more years. We got married at 22 & 23 years old, we have time to wait and want to focus on becoming debt free, owning our first home, & enjoy the time with each other first. Especially since we were long distance for 5 years before we got married, we need us-time 😅
Once again, terrific! For the first year, 10th year, 20th year, whatever! I would have said to my newly married self: there WILL be hard times, but having that person at your side, on your side, loyal, generous, caring, and devoted will be the most beautiful thing. Infinitely more important than any small petty annoyances!
Thank you Emily❤️🙏 can you do a crazy Chiquita on good guy friends and how to not be flirty on accident? I wouldn’t mind some advice on how to help my friendship with this guy grow and not get ruined by ‘’relationships’’
I'm not married nor have dated anyone yet, but I loved these advices so, If I ever find a person to share my life with, I can take this into consideration, and also to not over idealize marriage and have our feet on the ground!! Love you Emily!!
What amazing advice from amazing women! I’m still single, but I watch videos like these to give me hope and confidence for the future. Thanks for sharing, Emily! 😄
I would add that sometimes individual therapy is the better choice (instead of couple's therapy), because your marriage may be solid but you as an individual still need to work on your own stuff that otherwise will impact negatively on the marriage. It also contributes to "me time", which is crucial for the health of the relationship.
I second this! I would love to send a guy-version to my fiance. I will probably still send him this one (because it would be good for him to hear these as well), but one that is targeted for him more specifically would be fantastic as well! :)
Thank you so much for this! I'm 5 months away from my wedding day and soo excited !!! This was exactly what I needed ro hear and would love some more engagement advice videos please ❤
my boyfriend of almost 3 years and I agreed a while ago that we were struggling with communication, so we talk through are feelings a lot and call each other out (respectfully) if we are holding something against each other. It has stopped a lot of fights from happening, and I feel like I can tell him anything, good or bad.
This video somehow gave me so much relief after a stressfull day, thank you for sharing with us!! It's always so inspiring to hear about women supporting and learing from each other 🥰🥰
Thank you so much for all the advice! I've been married for 8 months and once in a while it is hard, but all in all it's the best choice I made in my life after following Jesus. I love that we get to grow closer to God together and being a team in life. Marriage is such a beautiful thing created by God! I would love to hear your advice on becoming a parent and how you still stay close in your marriage. My husband and I are a bit fearful when it comes to that because so many people say that you never have time for each other and that you "grow apart". I want to show that it is possible to grow even more in love and get stronger together even when you start having children.
I loved your video of pressure on single people.. you are a woman of faith who believes in marriage and having family as a great way of saving societies and balancing life.. God is one for everyone and I loved how you said that one must surrender everything to God then the voice of your toddler came out as a sign that God is the most generous and is to grant you what your heart desires and pray to him to have.. thank you very much .. I really love your videos and enjoy following you.. I just don't want to hide these words within my heart ...I felt like I needed to tell you all that.. you are a beautiful woman .. your words are precious and now plz make more videos for single people and for now please make a video for a girl who has been proposed to by a wealthy man..the girl said no indirectly by sending someone she trusts on her behalf to reject ..to say no.. then that man ended up marring another woman whom he even doesn't know well.. this is a true story..she is a close friend of mine.. everything was good and they don't hate each other but she just said no and then he married another woman as a consequence of that.. I just want to ask you how should the girl behave now.. those two are married for three years now.. because my friend.. that girl who said no is regreting that so much like hell and keeps thinking and ruminating ... she said no because she wanted to have her studies done.. I think she didn't behave well ... but why does she regret now? at the time he proposed to her she was only 24 and with no dating experience and so much naiive .. now she is the same.. a girl who doesn't know a thing about dating and these stuff .. she is just a teacher who loves her career but she is a humanbeing after all... plz consider what I wrote and help.. that girl also is a woman of faith.. and needs some supporting words likewise the ones of yours..she also follows your videos.
It was the gardener. They ALWAYS come right to the house the moment I start recording, no matter what time of day it is on a Thursday. It drives me bananasssssss :)
Thank you for this. We got pregnant during engagement and as a result our sexual relationship has been such a struggle since we got married in January. I’m grateful for the reminder that it takes time and I’m trying to be gentle with myself. Please pray for us, we are trying for holiness but the past is still so near.
May God heal both of your hearts, and free you to live in the beauty of the sexuality within marriage He desires for both of you! Most certainly be gentle with yourself. One day at a time.
Okay but if your mother in law is toxic and treats you badly, PLEASE don't try to be okay with it! Stand up for yourself & make sure your spouse knows that the way you are being treated is not okay!!!! My soon to be MIL is verging on toxicity and I get super anxious any time I have to be around her because of how she makes me feel. Sometimes she renders me into anxiety attack mode & then criminalizes me for being "too quiet" when my anxiety was the culprit!
Totally agree. I have a video on MIL stuff - on my list is also a video about the importance of a fiance/husband standing up to his mother when she is not treating you with respect and kindness.
