What Men Desire | Men's Round Table | A Black Love Series 

Why would I reach for the check if YOU asked ME out?!?

Splitting the Bill on the first date... my advice: don’t ask anyone out if you’re splitting the bill. That’s not a date at all 😂😂... y’all are too much

The single men at the table haven't met anybody they like. When they like a woman all those games & little tests disappear 🤷🏾‍♀️

First problem... referring to women as girls. Second problem...thinking 35 is old..like wtf. Third problem...thinking that a meeting at someone's crib for the first date is acceptable. Fool...I don't know you! First dates should be early, in the broad day light, and out in a public place. Are you not thinking of the safety of these women??? Fourth...if you're so old school a grown woman is NOT going to reach for the check period on the first date. My goodness! Whew. 😕

Did the young 20 something just say something must be wrong with a woman who is single at 35? 😆 honey you haven’t lived enough to speak on such things.

Anticipation for a women to reach for the check, something wrong with single women over 35, first date "at the crib" and yet you desire for women with amazing character traits. I cringed at listening to how these men spoke. It sounds like they desire a one-sided relationship. Stop expecting so much from women when you have nothing to offer. The majority of women do not want their time, energy, emotional and mental health being toyed with.

I would not go to a person house on a first date, but hey to each is own. 💁🏾‍♀️

Not enough wisdom at this table, please find better!

I would love to hear from men in their 30's and 40's. A mix of married and single. Men who desire to be married.

Back in my day guys were embarrased to have a girl pay on a date. What has the world come to? 🤦🏽‍♀️

There is something wrong with an "older" woman who is single?! Seriously? That narrative is so sexist and tired.

Ain't no reach, pay the bill or don't take us out, period! Thank God, I'm married, this is foolery.

Absolute foolery. Except for the married one, the rest have NO idea how to court/date. Now this is why THEY are single. #littleboys

Tiny request, the gentleman in the Harlem grey shirt, in future episodes, when you ask your guests questions, please let them finish their answers or thoughts without you interrupting. There was a bit of speaking over one another in this episode.

First date at the crib 💀 I refuse to reach for the bill, I'd rather die single

This whole convo was just a big ole bag of DEEP BREATH 🙄🤦🏾‍♀️

They're so young and overflowing with fresh male audacity... This is adorably entertaining🤣🤣🤣.

I went on a date back in November and the guy was a total gentleman, opened the car door, pulled out my chair, paid for the meal (I did not reach) it was a good night, I knew it would be based on our conversations over the phone. If he wasn’t such a gentleman and looked at me to pay we wouldn’t be where we are now. It’s still new but going very well and I still haven’t paid for any of our many meals unless you count those I’ve cooked. I say all that to say, if you’re being cheap on the first date you can potentially turn someone off who could have been a really good match for you... IJS... 🤷🏾‍♀️

So to see if she reaches for the bill first makes you feel good?... wow blown away with that one

I partially agree with the quick first date. A quick coffee date is sufficient to determine if there's chemistry. Who wants to sit through a whole dinner when two people aren't vibing? The second date can be a real dinner date. I absolutely love this format. Keep these coming from both the male and female perspectives.

Two things well three... 1. great convo. 2. an older woman not in relationship does not constitute something is wrong, it mostly means she won’t put up with BS and maybe career focused, shoot doctors are in school dang near to 30. 3. If you ask a person on a date meaning you are asking them to spend their time with you I don’t think on a first day it should be split. You asked for their time.

Reach?? Splitting bills??? 🤦🏾‍♀️ Did i ask u on a date? No! I’m not reaching for nothing and I’m for sure not splitting a damn thing. If u get up and leave i promise u i can pay for my meal. My thing is this, if you ask me out, it’s all on u buddy. I don’t ask men out, i just haven’t, I’m not against it but i haven’t. For me I don’t want to go to a restaurant or movies on the first date. I’m down for coffee, tea, a drink etc. I’m even more down for a walk and some ice-cream, let’s talk, u don’t have to spend much. Y’all overthink dates and some women expect too much when you’re just meeting a man. Also, don’t quiz me on a first date, let’s just talk normally. I would explain further but my thumbs are over it. 🤷🏾‍♀️

You want a woman with all these amazing traits, yet it's a red flag when only coffee for a first date is unacceptable to her? Hmmmm...

I speak for those women over 35 and single, its not a bad thing at all.. It's by choice until that right one comes along.

🛑 regarding the comment made here about “older women (30+) who are single having *something wrong with them* - men (& women) need to STOP correlating ageism with singlism. many variables contribute to women (30+) being single. some are: uncoupled [by choice]; widowed; on healing journeys waiting on the right person/time; or prioritized rearing children or their careers/education for a designated time. NOT EVERY WOMAN prioritizes relationships early in life. NOR are interested in this new “*pick me*” culture. we need to destigmatize the narrative that women who ARE coupled are MORE desired/valued than single women. PERIOD‼️

Why would I go to someone’s crib on the first date this ain’t no Booty call or high school.. overall good conversation

The guy with the dreads, a real man...That's husband material there for real.

A table of grown men who split the bill on first dates? say something is wrong with single women over 35? 2 dollar dates? yikes yeah, couldnt make it past 3 minutes. Lol.

To think that some men still think there’s something wrong with a woman who’s 35 and single 😂 black love do better 🤦🏾‍♀️

Hearing these men talk, things have gone left when it comes to courting and pursuit. Wow, it’s a different day.

The problem is nobody wants to just be friends and hang out and build off that. Then wonder why you’re struggling in season of singleness

"If they're old and single there's a reason for that.." The fact that 35 is "old" 😂 oh boy...where do they find these young minded men?

She may reach to pay, but don't let her pay bruh. She's testing you too! Trust, that will become the running theme of your relationship. It will ignite her masculine side. And she will end up being more dominant in the relationship. You guys are the leaders. You set the tone from the jump. Assertively pay the bill. She'll respect you more.

Listen...I was with stripe shirt dude when he said "all chicks look the same and ppl not real anymore...I feel you! HOWEVER!! If they old and single it must be a problem...had to be the craziest statement. And 35 is not old sweetie🤦🏾‍♀️

I initially loved the idea of this show - but this is ridiculous. The questions are somewhat immature, and these answers are part of the reason woman don't think they can find a good man. The reaching comment is unacceptable. Either you paying for the date or not, if we going dutch, just tell me so I can make an informed decision or not. UGGG!!! Really disappointing episode.

As a man, I understand what they are trying to say, I just don't agree how they go about it. When I would go on a date, I was more interested in getting to know the young lady, and having her get to know me; and not just be focused on what I can provide. That being said, I would pay for the dates that I went to on, unless we mutually decided otherwise. With the newer generations, I believe men feel that if women can change what is expected of them or how they're treated; men should be able make some changes as well. Men and women should compliment (add value to) each other, rather than compete with one another. Until both sides find GOD, themselves and mature; we continue to have these gender wars.

This is why so many on both sides are single. Men don’t want to be men anymore. They aren’t actually trying to court. Don’t limit yourselves ladies.

It's not for me to judge as I had to learn from my mistakes, but I will express that much growth is needed with most of these young men in order to have healthy relationships. Some of the actions or behaviors spoken on in this session show signs of one-sidedness, manipulation, and limited thinking. I wish you had more of the (married) young man with the dreads speaking. I love that he said he courted his wife, which gave him and her an opportunity to learn each other.

As a black man I relate to everything that was said in this video. There are great men out here doing the right things and patiently waiting for the right woman of substance.

Lol y'all are cute first off being a "single and older woman" doesn't mean you have issues, it usually means when you see red flags, YOU SEE THEM. Whenever you hear "I'm picky" translation: I'm the shit, judgy and I have unrealistic standards. "The reach" lol back in my day it was unspoken, the gentleman paid, and was proud to do so. Lord I'm old lol. Great video.

This conversation was very interesting and revealing. Thank you Black Love for sharing with Us. Can we see a conversation with men who are in there 40’s and up both single and married?

Wow! Wow! I typically don't comment on this kind of stuff, but in light of the Brothers' comments, both at the round table and in the comments, I feel this has to be said...Brothers, please, please, please remember which lane is yours and stop trying to straddle the line when it suits you. Yes, you were made to protect and provide, yes, you are kings. Yes, our role is and likely would be a supporting one if y'all protected and provided completely. Feminism wasn't just about women wanting equal rights, it's also about us wanting to be valued as a contributor, rather that's 1% or 100%. These brothers are obviously straddling the line and so are some of the commenters...so she needs to be intelligent, but God forbid she's educated? She needs to "reach for the check", to prove what, that she's willing, but remember her place. Oh and let's not forget many of "our" households are two income households, meaning a woman has to work to contribute financially, but feminism is the problem. I don't know about other women who might see this, but I've not had a man yet provide for me without my help. Really? I'm entirely insulted by this dialogue. The double standard is patronizing at best. It's these kind of men who sit back and wait to be chosen rather than intentionally choosing. Wise up Black men... grown women want to be chosen, handled with care, and valued for our contribution. Appreciate the effort we put into being beautiful, inside and out, being intelligent, educating ourselves, and for the fact that we bring all that and more to our relationships. #GrownA$$Woman #BlackGirlMagic

I don't care whether you're old fashioned or modern, feminist or a 'real' gentleman (not that one opposes the other), courtesy demands that when you take someone out, you pay the bill, if they initiate the action then vice versa and this holds true for everybody male and female.

These guys just told us exactly why they're single. It may not be obvious to them but I'm sure us women see it.

Interesting... I’m 32 and single and don’t feel AT ALL like something is wrong with me. I’ve made an active choice to spend time focusing on loving myself more and growing in the ways I felt I needed to. I’ve also been seeking a quality partner who is intellectually on my level. To assume someone has problems because they haven’t given in to societal pressure and rushed into a relationship... is blasphemous. And as far as splitting a check.... my darlings, do we no longer understand the meaning and purpose of courtship???? 🤔 Men want women’s privileges SO BAD!! It’s shameful! Trust and believe that if I have to pay for my food my own self, I will be having dinner with MY OWN SELF. Like... what do I need you here for then?!?! You can exit stage left. ✌🏽

Next panel can we get some men who finished breastfeeding? I just don’t know why they would have 20-somethings men who are no where near commitment mindset comment on this. Is that Davichi from All American ?

God where are you? The men you sent to provide and protect us are trying to go half on $2 wells. 😹😹😹😹😹 I love this channel but this video was noooot it.

If I pay for my self on the first date there will NEVER be a second date... I don’t mind leaving the tip but I’d never date a man that didn’t pay for the first date!

I’m a woman over 35 and now find my single because my husband passed at 35 in 2019. I’m now forced into this dating scene to find a quality partner who is God lead that will make me comfortable to come up under his covering and protection. So being single pass 35 isn’t always a bad sign that something is wrong with a woman. Life could have happened and placed her involuntarily in the position of singleness. Plus being over 35, I’m established enough in my life that I’m not needing a man to “take care of me”, but to share life and continue build legacy with me for our children.

"If you go out with me on the brokest date ever, then I'll like you." Boy, bye.

Trust, communication & Faith that was a very good & mature answer!!!! The other guys jokingly commented “you sure you not married”. Maturity brings about wisdom at any age. Some 20 year olds have this kind of wisdom. WE grow & we learn❤️Keep having these conversations black men I love it!!!💯💯💯💯

Very interesting discussion. I am 34, turning 35 this year. I'd rather be single than settle for less.

I think yall should have picked 1-2 topics and delved deeper into to understand why you feel or think the way you do. All over the place & learned nothing except they dont know what they want🤦🏾‍♀️

If she’s on the date 9/10 she’s interested 🙄

They are young and not mature... Sigh.. So sad.

If you ask a woman on a date you should pay for the meal 🥘 I like the Old School Method.... What is wrong with these Modern day men lol 😂

The men at this table have no clue smh. As far as the married one, since when did the fact that you are married equals you know what you talking about. Some people marry other people that have low expectations, it definitely didn’t mean you were ready or know what you are talking about ($2 drinks and half off) she should have run the other way) A dinner does not cost that much fellas. It’s not like you are buying the woman ring, a house or Louis Vuitton on the first date. She should be worth at least a dinner!

Sad that many young men today expect a woman to pay on a first date or at least “reach” for the bill. While I agree women should not expect men to pay for their needs I feel traditional male values speak plenty about a man. No decent grown man ever asks a woman to split the bill.

Hey, what's wrong with an older woman who's still single, never married 🙄? I'll be 47 March 23rd and I love my freedom and solitude 😄🤭😁. Even though I like my singlehood, it doesn't mean I don't desire the right male companionship leading to my bf leading to my husband 😁😄

Thankyou so much for such conversations. They are really helpful to me, having grown without a father. Thankyou💜

You 22 and single so what's your problem lol

4 out of 5 dudes there are scrubs. I bet they only want a strong independent woman when she can pick up the check 😒

I’m so glad he somewhat corrected the youngin about misconceptions of older women. I’ve been single for a hot min. I’m educated (masters degree and MD), with no children, not previously married, and I refuse to believe that the reason why I’m single is because something is inherently wrong with me. I’ve been in school/training for many years and sacrificed a lot during that time. Some people get married young while others may get married at an older age. Let’s stop labeling people has weird or crazy for not being married. We all have different paths!

This is why so many women choose to be single.

All their perspectives are an ABSOLUTE NO for me. I can’t get with this. And men wonder why women are single. It seems like men don’t want to be men any more. Don’t expect a SPECIFIC type of woman if you are NOT a SPECIFIC type of man. It’s that simple. Period.😘

There’s no time limit on when you find love. Do not set love goals because things do not work out according to how you want. Be patient and love will happen naturally. Make sure you have compatibility, communication and commitment.

Haha I’m not reaching for nothing! 🤣🤣🤣

How many times are these dude going to say "like"?

Sometimes it’s the environment too that has us seeing the same type of people

Splitting the bill IS problem, especially if you ask her out. Dating doesn't have to be a financial expense. One can go out and have fun and enjoy non-expensive dates. What these men do not take into account is just as your size up women, they do the same in noticing how you can either provide or lead. A guy needs to discern who he courts and who he dates, versus just go out, and needs to set the tempo for how casual the encounters will be. That dictates who pays and the expectations. These episodes need to come with a published location, age, and marital status bar.

This Da'Vinchi doesn't seem like he's here's to learn/ get insight- May just be youth & immaturity showing.

Love love loved this conversation. Very informative, very good guys. 👍🏽

If I met someone through a dating app, i was absolutely ok with meeting someone for coffee. Its all about intention. The goal was to initially see if there was connection and chemistry offline. If its not there, Im gonna be polite then I'm out.

This is entertaining. I always do the reach because I don't want to assume they gonna pay. Also never go on a date you can't afford.

Love love loved this conversation very good guys

This is the insight on what dating is like currently. First date at the crib.. how trusting should a woman be? But I understand he only courted his wife. They were most likely friends first.. 35 dating a 22 year old can he pay her bills? Or ready to be a step father.. they consider a red flag paying for date? IDK but I have come across this mindset more often than none

We older and single by choice. I’m 42 never married. God does not want me to settle and I won’t. 🤷🏽‍♀️my kids are raised now it’s all about me

I thank God I dated mature men in my 20s as I can't relate to some of these mens ideals of relationships, seems far fetched and immature imo. I appreciate these mens input but overall the insight of the married man was profound and the basis of what I seek in my partner. Lastly the 22 yr old seems like he's jaded when it comes to the opposite sex, unfortunately there are men twice his age who carry these same ideals and have no clue.

Thanks fellas great video!

I love y’all! I love the honesty and transparency. I’m old school and much too experienced to need a man to feed me but I do expect a man to pay the bill. I was raised to believe this gesture was a sign of taking care of the woman. Nonetheless, wishing you all the best. Communication is key.

this is great.... give each other a chance to talk fully and interviewer give people room to talk more.... but wow thank you for filming and sharing

A date is a date regardless of the price. It’s all about figuring out if you vibe. A man who wants to split the bill wants a roommate and not a partner in my opinion. If a man doesn’t want to spend a lot of money then we can hang at the park or something but if you expect me to go half then I’m assuming you want a 50/50 relationship (roommate vibes). I’m very traditional when it comes to gender roles. Honestly I can tell if we vibe over the phone so if we go in a date then we have established that we are interested in each other. (When I was dating, currently engaged and he would never expect me to pay for anything)

wow this was a lovely table talk thank you

Uh, I'm 34 and turning 35 in literally 6 months from today. Instead of assuming there's something wrong with some of us perhaps there's something right with some of us. And to be frank, if I wanted to be in a relationship I could be in one in 2.5 secs. However, I'd rather commit to a grown man of quality and character than settle for less so until I come across that, then single is what I'll be! lol

They are not ready. All surface topics.

Oh, I came across this and when I saw these YOUNG Men I thought no use of me watching this mess b/c I'm in my 40"s and I'd rather listen to MORE SEASONED, Intelligent, well versed, older men between ages 45 and 60 b/c they're going to think about life , love, and relationships MUCH MORE DIFFERENTLY!!!

I love black men who tell us what they like about black women!

Love ❤ This

That's why you all are single, act like men coffee is not that much really dude's.

Also, why are the younger ones speaking way more than anyone else? He’s playing games anyway, “The reach?” No mature woman is playing that dumb game sooo he’s missing out on some great women, I’m so sure!

Very insightful

I'm 28 ....an im finally finding myself as a grown man .....an some of the things yall were talking about ....I found my new mindset agreeing on an saying "hell yea"

I was on a date recently and the guy paid for our dinner and he offered to get frozen yogurt. I hope he didn’t think I was gonna pay for that because I sure as hell just stood there. You OFFERED the frozen yogurt.. it wasn’t my idea 😂

The. comment section is filled with women who are butt hurt and upset... When women say No short men, No broke men etc Women clap!! As soon as men say No old women, no fat women, no baby mothers etc etc y'all get upset!! More power to unapologetic men who aren't bending to feminism and are staying focused and sticking their chest out with what they want

I love black love! I love black men!

This love the program

If a guy ask a woman out, why are men these days expecting "a reach" from the woman after you asked her for her time first (obviously showing interest towards her first), I mean like you asked her out, so why would her fake offer or reach to pay even be attractive to any real decent, self assured man; and from the woman's point of view it's just backwards, if she really feel it's necessary to pay, after a man, asked HER OUT, she should request to simply go DUTCH, if she particularly feels the need to "reach for her pocket book" after a meal on the first date. 👛 With that being said, if a man expects a woman to pay for the first date, the question then becomes what else is he expecting her to pay for moving forward???? Where is the intentionality and the pursuit? I noticed dating in 2021the roles and expectations of the sexes have clearly been reversed. I'm glad I'm no longer on the market and happily married.

Honestly now that I’m older and really took time to work on myself. It’s true. So many women are carbon copies of each other with no personalities. We tend to be so focused on perfecting our appearance we lose focus on actually being of substance. Having an actual personality. Not have self centered conversations. I’m not here to bash women in any shape or form but we are getting so besides ourselves now.

I’m 40 second in and this man said women aren’t that interesting ... I can’t imagine where this is going. BRB 😂😂

I wish they would let the married men talk more.