Love Languages | Men's Round Table | A Black Love Series 

We shouldn't give them a pass because they opened up. They should have come prepared. To have taken the test and seen what it really was about. They missed the point.

These same women criticizing will wonder why they dont have closeness in their relationships with their men. Its because their judgment is the distance.

@@poeticallyaware1 You missed the point. Reading a book doesn't "introduce" you to love languages. It's JUST A BOOK. It's not about giving anybody a pass. They are expressing their feelings and experiences. The video is mislabeled but that's it.

@@poeticallyaware1 It bridges the gap. As a man, our perspective is totally different. Naming the love languages may have been a miss but expressing themselves through experience is a win in any conversation. We build off that.

@@rochellegayden8442 That was deep. Especially from an emotional connection standpoint. Accepting perspective is a big part of growth

I absolutely love and applaud you Men so much for this round table!! This is what we need more often!! I have so much respect and admiration for you guys ❤❤💜💜

Okay. I was thinking it could be Quality Time. The attention, time out, reflection etc

Yes Grace he may be words and one on one quality time. You can have two that stand out.

That’s what Gary Chapman thinks... there is more. Signed a marriage/life coach

says who?

@@blkyogi999 can’t the more be roughly categorised under the 5 that Gary gives?

@@JJ-mx3pd they can.

@@JJ-mx3pd oh my dear... love languages existed prior to Gary Chapman.. he coined the term but the concept was already in the world. I’m done with this topic.

That’s because most people don’t read the book and the narratives that provide context. I prefer ppl not to assign themselves a primary love language if they haven’t done the reading or quiz 😅. Oftentimes people shoot from the hip on what they think their love language is rather than doing a self investigation on how it is so. I expected all 5 of them to say what a lot of men say and thas “pHyZiCaL tOuCh iZ mAh LuV LaNgUaGe” lol. Instead they came with other good view points. I’m not really sure if The 5 Love Languages really teach others about how to love the other as much as it suggests conditioning of certain kinds of treatment 😕. The jury is still out for me on the usefulness of them.

Agreed lol I was like Communication is not a love language

Agreed. Dr. Gary Chapman, creator of the 5 Love Languages, also stated in his book that love languages can change throughout your life. Plus, you can have two primary love languages if the number is tied. The ways I show love are Acts of Service and Gifts. The ways I receive love are Qualit Time and Physical Touch.

They really should. This wasn’t great to watch for that reason. Poor execution

@@jayc5756 The thing I had to learn (and still am) is that you have to treat your wife how SHE wants to be treated. It's a challenge because we grow to think that treating someone how you'd like to be treated is respectful...but it can be conflicting most times. Either way it's not good enough.

Thank you for saying this. Focus on the message not the title of the video. Our Brothas openly expressing themselves about love and love languages. Guess what? I’m actually happier that they haven’t read the book and if they have, they chose to speak on THEIR love languages. Instead of being stuck on what someone else decided that the “5 love languages” are.....let’s listen and hear and pay attention to what our partner needs. Find that out. Seek that out. Let’s not be so strict on ourselves or our people that we think their love language has to be defined in a book written by someone other than self or your partner. Truly, read their book. Their inner book. Your persons inner book. Let’s not limit ourselves and let’s not limit our partner based on someone else’s outline/guide....I pray that when love finds me....I can be open to all of the possibilities of the way my person loves and Vice versa. 🖤

@@tiffanynoe5068 Facts. But unfortunately most ppl have a "sheepish" mentality. They can only consume what's PLACED in front of them, very few think outside of the box with any depth. And it's not an insult on their intellect, some ppl are book smart and others are investigators and get their understanding out the mud themselves...... ..... but everyone is a boss 😒🙄 But that's another topic for another day lol

Yes. Exactly. As if the man who wrote that book speaks for all humans everywhere. If these brothas are saying XYZ is their love language.....how can anyone argue with that? You can’t. Furthermore, forget that book- hear what the person sitting across from you is saying? Does your understanding or innerstanding only come from what someone else tells you it is???!! As you said, it isn’t a diss on intellect...more of wake up call..a reminder even....use your own mind, think for self, dig deeper, acknowledge that concepts, truths, facts exists outside of what is written and what is already “known”. Don’t let someone feed you everything. Search for your own knowledge and overstanding and innerstanding.

Words of affirmation is communication. So communication is a love language.

🙌🙌🙌 You said it... it’s a guide not a Blueprint🙌

I feel you. I was like a black man so self aware that he is seeing a therapist to be a better version of himself?! That's so awesome.

I hope to get more of this. Women need to hear from men what men want.

I agreed with the comments thinking pretty much this same thing. On the real though, this is a big challenge I believe most women have.

Amen and amen again

agreed

💯

Say that Allison, they are the type that would publicly correct a man for using a salad fork versus a dinner fork.

Very sexy .

🍯😌yes maim

I see NO vulnerability at all here. I see power. And its also in words

Facts!!

This is indeed a great conversation and needed. I get what you’re saying, but communication is not a love language but rather a tool/skill. Love languages in themselves are way of communicating in general. It’s the way you give/receive (communicate) love to one another.

Woooooooooooooooh!!! You spoke right into my spirit. At first I was like 'communication' is not a love language y'all. But it hit me, why I'm I limiting myself to the 5 love languages I was told are love languages. I love that each of them expressed how communication is important and I am learning to sit still and just listen. Don't ever make anyone feel that they don't know anything simply because their truth is not your truth.

@@janegachiri2163 yes Sis.. you're absolutely right. When people think of words of affirmation as a love language and try to separate that from communication, I'm perplexed. Lots of people know how to effectively communicate in areas of work and in their regular relating but there Are some of those who don't necessarily know how to be vulnerable when communicating especially when emotions are high.. (which was one context explained by a man in this vid)so a person who says they lay emphasis on that kind of communication in expressing their love... It definitely is valid. The 5 love languages are just a guide to identify which ways of expressing affection take priority for each of us. The questions designed in the quizz only factor in those 5 parameters. But what of people who place a greater importance on say spiritual covering through prayer as means of expressing love? Those people who share everything they have with those they love as a way of expressing their love? Children express love in very different ways also. To always want to make people you love laugh (like for one in the vid) is a legit way of expressing love. What happens to all these other forms too? My point is... Over 7 billion people on earth of varying backgrounds, upbringings, languages and we expect that all these people will have only 5 ways of expressing love? Really? Sigh. Whats most important is knowing how the people we love want to be loved and how they express theirs. The rest is just information that can be very useful when applied correctly!! Jus sayin. (All this said in love and respect) Salaam.

@@rabeedee1805 this is pure wisdom!!!! Let's not limit people from expressing how they love and would want to be loved. Thank you for sharing.

Agreed. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

true

Ase'. Can we just listen and 'be' sometimes without critique or correction? I'm just happy to see some beautiful brothers having an open and fair dialog.

Omg!!!! Would you please say it again!!!! I loved this!

It’s the VULNERABILITY for me!! Speaking straight from their heart and emotions!! They are men and their brains wired differently LOL so they will go off the subject Natural born free stylers and I love it..Keep speaking y’all truth beautiful brothers

That part! 🗣

Hello la otra how are you

Most especially Men

SPEAK, SIR!!!

So true, just listen to the content and draw from that. This is why people don't talk... I love you enough to treat you the way you like that is respectful. Back in the day communication and action were love languages. Daddy loved you- he may not have hugged you or other acts of physical touch, but the lights were on. It's just different now...

@@momstinson9005 exaaaaaactly! they are being disregarded just for the sake of "feeling right"

That is what bothers me most. Instead of appreciating men opening up and hopefully, gaining insight and learning something some want to counter that what they are saying ISNT a love language. If this man says this is how he loves and what he needs...THAT IS HIS LOVE LANGUAGE. Why are people so caught up on a certain author’s description of what he deems love languages are? They are literally saying “Communication is my love language. Laughter is my love language.” Who is anyone else to say “that’s not a love language”. Maybe that isn’t what yt man Chapman said is a love language but can our brothas express themselves without being confined and defined by someone else’s ideas and thoughts of what a love language is.

Mannnnnnnnnnn

is this sarcasm?

@@Dolce305 Not at all.

I agree, I love how he expressed himself. What’s his name? I’ve seen him before but can’t recall his name. Great conversation overall, they didn’t specifically name the 5 LLs but everything they discussed and described fell under them and I think that’s the take away IMO.

Or more so how you receive love. A love language shows *how you like to be loved* and someone elses love language is how they want you to *show love to them* .

@@jayc5756 you can Google it or buy the book. The book gives greater insight than just taking the test

Yeah, most people typically give love how they want to receive love.. every time I’ve taken the LL Quiz, mine is consistent lol. Quality time & Words of Affirmation being my top two and Physical touch is least (I hate being touched)

Facts! Being that communication is a #1 barrier of thriving, successful relationships, I personally am SO PROUD that men are starting to realize just how important the subject matter is! ❤️❤️

Absolutely! Very well said.

As a woman, this was my EXACT response to the other women pointing out everything EXCEPT the men's POV. Thank you for your comment.

@@tatianadaniel3569 no doubt sis, thank u for acknowledging 🙏🏽

Concentrating on the wrong things. I knew those weren’t the love languages but was more interested in what they had to say and how they expressed their feelings. Good stuff.

Agree. Because they basically didn't do a book review something is wrong? So-called "Love Languages" are intuitive. As a guy whose been married well over a decade I understood exactly where they were coming from.

Thank you! They were expressing their feelings, what moves them and helps them to grow to be better. So what if its not the textbook love languages, at least they are talking and sharing. I appreciated this one.

And related and laughed😌

I totally agree. I’m not sure why there are so many negative comments. Personally I would love love love for my husband to have a circle of friends like these guys. I wonder how many of the nay sayers are actually in a relationship?

Hello Dannie greething from panama

Agree

This is why men are dying 😪 most men are loners & only have their wives as best friends, because we've been wounded by men [ usually our fathers] and we don't trust other men.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌

It didn't sit right with me when he said that. Sounds lazy.

@@StrongnBeautiful really? Her career kicks off then someone has to stay home with the kids and it’s ok that daddy stays home and nurture the kids. Nothing lazy about instilling values in the kids at home whether mommy or daddy. But I hear what you are saying too 😌

Yeah, because his wife will expect him to tend to the kids, the household chores, etc. and THEN do all the other things that men do that women can't or refuse to do. We don't need to list them because we know very well what they are.

100

They talking about how they prefer to be loved. Not the book

Exactly! Many people have become selfish by concentrated on the things *they want* , or *how they feel you should be* , or *what they believe* when it comes to relationships - which is why many relationships fail before they can even get started. I believe the key to relationships (besides communication) is COMPROMISE - at least if you care about them - and learning what makes the other person who they are today.

Wait....how about they just threw out random things

Oh wow... I’m a Therapist and I approve their conversation and all of the love languages/ channels they explored ... we are too fixated on Gary Chapman and HIS five love languages but don’t be deceived because there’s more.

@@blkyogi999 As a non therapist and empathetic woman it's moreso the title that ppl may get hung up on. The grander scheme of their conversation was about their non negotiables in love. And maybe we can invite Chapman's construct of love languages to the convo as well.

Exactly,

Lol Same here!

I laughed so hard when he said that because this is me too. I even have a cat tattoo.

But we need to hear from more men and not be judgmental.

@@kkjannah lord have mercy on you...

@@kkjannah I agree - that was just his way of describing it

@@kkjannah I have to disagree with some of what you said. Words of affirmation is a type of communication and a love language, not the other way around. I do agree that knowing how to communicate with your partner so they feel loved is essential, but words of affirmation is distinct and specific. Everyone needs good communication for their relationship to thrive and not just survive. But not everyone needs their partner to compliment them to feel loved. That's not to say that chronic negative talk to and about your partner is not damaging

I agree - The guys definitely should've read up on the basic love languages before sitting down to have this discussion.

👏👏👏👏

Me too! This makes the title misleading

As a man, I will defend... the title is jacked up lol but the content is rich nonetheless.

@@ALLICANDOISTRY42 I definitely agree it’s a good conversation. I just wish they would have either labeled the discussion differently or had them actually talk about their love languages.

@@shannon9849 I’m with the Fellas in this Vid. I definitely had to Google what the Languages were too lol. Baby steps lol

Me too!!! Still happy they are Talking

For me quality time

He carries himself well and seems very masculine and self assured