What Psychosis is really like (Part 1) 

as someone who struggles with being open about mental health struggles i really appreciate you being so open and public about what you’ve gone through

Bro this is exactly my experience. It’s earth shattering to realize the my “special mission from God as his chosen one” was actually Mania.

Respect you talking so openly about this. I've never had psychosis but have family members who do so it's very insightful to learn about. I think the part that scares me most is that when you fall into psychosis you might not even notice it or realize that it's happening. Makes me wonder how many people have it but don't even know they have it.

The way you put it: gradual elevation of energy that (like highly caffeinated and cocaine) overstimulated; heightened awareness; confidence... These are textbook "mania" signs too! Add in talking fast, not sleeping, and shaking like a crackhead chihuahua. It's so bizarre to hear somebody describe something I experience SO thoroughly and with the perfect words. The way it sneaks and builds is like smoke; it trickles in unnoticed at first, and by the time it's noticed, it's usually by a consequence and not the issue itself - with smoke, one smells smoke before they see it, and by then it's already filling a room and a fire is raging; and then psychosis is noticed when the behavior is so odd that it impacts others, but the real issue is what's causing the psychosis. Sorry I'm rambling! o((>ω< ))o

lmao, I thought I was Jesus too bro, it happens to the best of us

OMG MY PSYCHOSIS STORIES ARE SO HILARIOUS 🤣 I’m literally doing journaling to process all the stupidity.

kudos to you for sharing and being so open. there's still such a stigma, so you being willing to help normalise these experiences but just as importantly, simply be honest, is so powerful.

my manic episode last year was very very similar to this.

Thank you for making this video. My partner is currently experiencing the same thing, and I’m trying to understand psychosis in any way I can so I can support him. Would love to hear about your recovery journey and what you do now to take care of yourself.

It's a nightmare. Feels like balancing reality and a different dimension. I can tell when I slip into it, but I'm in their world so as much as I think I know my surroundings it aint my world. I'm learning their ways but they aren't stupid. It's like a battle of attrition. Bizarrely there are moments of peace between our two worlds. I am all for peace but I realise I am in a warzone. I will soon be on medication for it. Nice to know I'm thicker skinned than I thought through this war.

Thanks for sharing the experience. Way more brave than some of us who've had similar experiences. This gives me some confidence and encouragement to do the same.

I was watching a video showing the controversy of the CEO of Scentbird, and funny enough, this video was recommended. Thank you so much for sharing, I had psychosis back in 2020... I hope to never go back again.

So grateful you have decided to do this, also very positive wider population is ready to hear it.

Thanks for sharing your story, and keeping it short and to the point!

Very much appreciated, please do more like this. I have lost my mind shortly while on mushrooms and the striking part is that it also makes you question every thought you ever had. Like it sounds convincing all of a sudden that every thought you ever had before was made under completely false presumptions. As I am probably not predisposed I snapped out of it within minutes but I always wondered if now that I kind of know how a psychosis of sorts feels, if I would be able to recognize it again and at least control my actions even if I cant control my thoughts. But since it was a terribly frightening experience, I never tried again. So I would love to know if you had, shortly before your relapse, a sense that it is happening again? I can imagine one would not be able to notice as this is affecting how you perceive things. It is mighty scary to think you dont really control, but are instead lead on for better or worse, by... yourself.

Very interesting, thanks for sharing this with us, such videos really help to create better understanding of such things, from your description of that agitated, awaken feeling I can really understand, how that can affect the brain in such a way that people start believing these things.

I'm currently experiencing a psychotic episode. I have moments of lucidity every now and then and it's so hard, really, I wish I didn't have them and just be completely immersed in my so-called "delusions". It is extremely difficult and confusing having moments of awareness. You're description somewhat alligns with mine. Thank you

Great video, very well spoken. Thank you for sharing.

Love the honesty 💛

Great video

i am your well deserved 200th subscriber. I experience this daily. music is my medication other than actual medication

Thank you for sharing this. As someone who suffers from bipolar, I agree with most everything you said, though it's obvious everyone experiences psychosis differently. For instance, I never thought of myself as Jesus Christ, but something more along the lines of "someone doomed to be an example for humanity." As if I would one day be put on a mass trial (think Amber Heard, but long before the trial ever occurred or was even a thought); or that people from the future had specialized technology and can see me in real-time from 2254, and that they were judging me. It would get so bad that I didn't want to function. I take medication now and have been in therapy for years. I'm really OK, honestly, despite what my fictional RU-vid character portrays. (Really, Dan Cowman is just an act.) I'd love to see you cover how the media creates exaggerations regarding these illnesses. For example, I consider Billy Chenowith from Six Feet Under to be wayyyyy over the top, though I've certainly met people like him (they're rare and need serious, serious help). Keep up the good work! I look forward to hearing more from you.

haha that point of being hunted down by agents/government officials cus i had realized something others didn’t happened to me too, in hindsight it seems very funny now

I had an episode of psychosis in 2019 due to epilepsy. I had been drinking, smoking and took my anti-epilepsy medication. Next thing i remember was being driven to the hospital as i was seizing and my mom telling me i’d be okay while flying down the highway. Then nothing, then waking up in the hospital when people were injecting me with a thick iv because i kept pulling out the smaller IVs. So eventually, as time passed and i recovered partial consciousness and awareness and recognized i was where i thought was a morgue/ hospital room and a shit load of people tryna take care of me when in reality it was only 5 nurses, all of whom i couldnt see their faces. I know it sounds ridiculous, but i saw their faces as blank blurs or smudges but they all had halos. I started calling em angels and was cussing like a sailor and screaming. Eventually, they sedated then i woke up again hours later, in a room with my girlfriend who I recognized fully and my mom. Everything was also incredibly bright, like staring at the sun bright, when in reality it was the middle of the night to which i, according to family, threatened my nurse with violence, stood up, ripped out my IVs and tried to run out of the room. I was then sedated again and came to again hours later in the middle of the day. The weirdest about it was when i would come to in partial consciousness, i would be in the middle of the sentence and become very very stressed as i didn’t know what had been going on for hours that had passed. Then i started hearing voices that weren’t there, which my brain assumed why my wife’s dead dad who was telling me "calm down and shut the fuck up because they’re going to send you to the psych ward." After a while, i started to finally become fully aware, specifically when i wanted to use the bathroom and nurses said im a falling risk and couldnt go by myself. So i had to poop in a portable potty they bring into the room and wipe my ass. The most mortifying moment of my life. Once i was discharged, i learned about all of this except for a few tidbits that my family informed me on, like my violent outbursts, calling everyone angels, praying to god for death and admitting to an affair i had that never actually happened. Psychosis is wild and terrifying , but it’s very comforting to hear other peoples perspectives and their experiences.

You could do a video that would contain some clips of these Instagram stories. Would be interesting to see and hear you discussing them further!

Well done mate.

I thought I was immortal 😂

I also thought I was Thomas Jefferson

You are soo handsome. Thank you for sharing your experience.

Can you please make a video about your experience of the prodromal phase (if you experienced much of it?) it seems the psychosis came on pretty fast for you, but the earlier phase isn’t covered very well on RU-vid. Thanks

Thank-you for the video.

Thank you for sharing your story i experienced similar symptoms to you thinking I was god lol

Thank you for sharing. Have you experienced any feelings of shame when coming out of psychosis about strange things you did? Its 4 years since my last episode and I still struggle with embarrassment and shame

I don't quite undestand it. How did you end up in the hospital? I had gone through a massive psychosis episode that lasted for more than 4 months 10 years ago, I wasn't not able to sleep in my bed, had completely lost any sense of self identity not to mention the fact that at that time my brain got hyper functional to a point my body couldn't make sense of its own functionality, I was functioning on a mental hyper drive 24/7 for months in a row! I've had a few minor reoccurring episodes since then, but I am not the same man anymore. I didn't seek help from professionals, although one night I was thinking of calling 911 because there was an invisible monster staying in my house inflicting horrible images in my head..I wasn't afraid to die, I got scared because that thingy wanted my soul, didn't know how to respond.

Interesting video, thank you for making it. I haven't had a psychosis or I am not borderline, I am at the other end: chronically depressed and on antidepressants for several years now, in and out of therapy. So when you said you felt this heightened energy and you couldn't stay still, I was like 'damn, I could use that some days.' 🤣 Jokes aside, I am happy you feel better now and that you are doing great. I'm interested in the book as well.

I relate fully

So, bluntly speaking. Your experience of Psychosis is involuntarily LARPing?

Are your thoughts and feelings was „positive“ or „pleasant“? Or just neutral for you?

Ur cute

💕💕💕💕

People thought I was delusional conspiracy theorist, then Epsine happened. I wish I was delusional conspiracy theorist and that stuff was fake. 😨

Are you on any medications now

Did you believe in God prior to your psychosis?

I don't think there was anything wrong with you. You didn't need pathologising or institutionalizing. You needed a shaman to breakdown what you were going through

What diagnosis did you receive in the end? Is it bipolar disorder?