There was a huge weight lifted that I didn’t even know was there when I heard this! I came to the assumption that it was me lying to myself. But it never really felt like “me”. Hearing that my BPD lies to me makes perfect sense!! 🤯. Thank God I can separate myself! It’s so strange to hear “you’re worthless, unloveable, too much to deal with... “ coming from yourself. Knowing that it’s BPD talking shit to me really does fit like nothing has before.
Brilliant Dr ....Sincerely admire his expertise, knowledge and professional integrity in educating the public including the people with BPD as well as other mental health conditions
You are the only person i can listen to speak about BPD. For some reason, when I watch others, it triggers me immediately. I watched a few other videos of other people just trying to educate myself but it sends me into very bad episodes.
He gives people hope, which I love to see. I don't suffer from BPD, but my heart breaks for a loved one who does. Thank you Dr for giving us hope, and positive reinforcement!!!
🙌🏼This man is a gift to humanity. From his intelligence, insight and kindness I am forever indebted. Please please please continue to offer amazing content which will save countless lives, relationships and heartache 🙏🏼
I was told my entire childhood that I was a bad seed. Ungrateful(I was adopted and how dare I not be grateful). My father even told my eldest daughter that they brought me into their home and ruined their lives. I thought I would die.
4 года назад
Been watching you for almost a year now. I come and re-watch your videos over and over, cause they make me feel like there is hope. I always feel like the broken one, the bad guy, the unworthy of love. And at least listening to you I feel like I have a chance in life.
This has really helped me gain some insight. My core content seems to be that I’m unlovable, unforgivable, very lonely and I don’t deserve to have a good life. I’m constantly sabotaging myself in my career and relationships. It’s such a painful cycle of hope, progress and then self-destruction.
i can SO relate. just becoming "awoken" to this diagnosis now.... at 59yo. the core and surface content makes sense, as i seemed to have known i have more healing to do with old childhood trauma as my Resistant depression is resistant for a reason eh?
@@pegdunn9236 hi. I'm having a struggle this week. My cousin passed, I can't get med mj in my state bc I pleaded guilty to a felony drug charge to keep my now deceased husband out of jail in 1974. I can get it expunged it was $500 in 1990's. Never had a $500 lump. My relationship with my g'daughtr is broken bc I was no longer needed..dad worked at home. I'm not good at relationships. My mom abandoned me when I was 2. I was separated from my big brother. When I was 10 my substitute brother (cousin) died in freak accident. He just turned 7. Life went on. Thrown out of my aunts family at 12 bc I didn't come straight home from school and she had a hair appt. I never had a home & never belonged to family I lived with.. I was a burden.. called a bad seed If I wasn't a coward I'd end it Taken so long to learn nobody cares🥀 So my fear of abandonment is valid bc everybody does leave in my life
@@KateBates22zabu I'm sorry you've had such a rough life. I can see why you have abandoned issues. I suffer from it too. I've recently been estranged from my adult daughter. It's the worse loss I've experienced and I'm struggling hard. I want to end the pain as well.
@@pixieheart9303 if she comes back around make sure you are willing to hear out her pain and what she is hurt by you specifically. Take responsibility for your actions or your relationship will never be repaired.
Having a bpd is like having a feeling of intense breakup and broken heart, but it happens multiple times everyday. The pain is unbearable, to the point where you can't function anymore. Idk how I could still survive at this point lol
2 years ago, at 42 no less, I experienced a feeling I wish I didn't know can exist. Absolutely crushing, terrifying. Can only liken it to the complete implosion I once felt on a ferris wheel were I suddenly experienced some sort of height induced panic attack (better said, it was the space above that triggered it) that goes well beyond what we call fear. It came in short bursts of seconds, but I hope to never ever have to feel that again. I was diagnosed a good 10+ years ago. But after 3 years full of heartbreak I now know what it truly means to be BPD in it's full "glory". It is the worst fear I have ever felt. To think that there are people who suffer these feelings much more than I did... Wow. I can't even begin to imagine what hell these folks love in.
I think everyone that listens to you wants you as their therapist. Love your videos. I have BPD and am ready to move to Texas to have you as my therapist. Lol. It is truly an awful illness. I'm just working on it now at 62 even though I've had the diagnosis for 20 years. The therapists I've had never really addressed it. They worked more with my bipolar, which is just as much fun. Anyway, I can't thank you enough for your videos. I can relate to it all. They are very helpful.
I also have bipolar disorder, of course that was diagnosed first. It hasnt been confirmed yet, for borderline but in my next visit with my therapist we're going to talk about it more. It's going to be hard to manage seeing that I've gone diagnosed for years and this has been present as earlier as elementary school. I'm 22 at this momemt.
More power to you I think Dr. Fox is on to something if you can address the personality disorder along with the Comorbid symptoms like depression and anxiety to help deal with it because I think even for narcissistic personality disorder or histrionic or ocd personality type if it doesn’t get addressed it’s so much harder to make progress on the other things going on since then you are understanding yourself
Emptiness, worthlessness, abandonment, failure are all too familiar and a constant mental battle, I tend to have outbursts of rage and take it out on my significant other. I will split often seeing my significant other as a great person and the next moment as the most cruel person.
I really appreciate you, I have BPD, PTSD, MAJOR DEPRESSIVE DISORDER, ANXIETY DISORDER. It means the world to me that you care an dedicate your self to everything you do!! Thank you Dr.Fox for giving me hope, thank you so much. I used to try to kill myself it didn't work I'm still here I guess there is a meaning for everybody to be here on this Earth but you give me hope and inspiration I have so much love for you for just you being you and helping you're so amazing
I have all the same disorders as you! I am glad to meet someone else like myself. You know this is caused and we didn't do it to ourselves? Now we have to live with it and work it through.
I also have those same diagnosis except my diagnosis is CPTSD and in addition I have a diagnosis for OCD. Plus, I deal with substance issues (Cannabis). I am sure most of you can relate to that but didn’t mention it. I wouldn’t wish these diagnoses on my worst enemy (or maybe I would lol ) but it’s mice to know I’m not alone. Are you all extremely sensitive? I like being sensitive most of the time, what I have a hard time is how most other people don’t get it.
Bullies find out REAL QUICK I don’t put w that anymore. However, I’m in Bully Central - Texas. It also helps to be armed down here - & I’m fully armed now. Took marrying a sociopath that liked to put fully-loaded guns in my face but Aholes down here now avoid me like the plague - & that’s the point.
i asked my childhood bully years later in high school what exactly it was that made everyone pick on me so much. he literally said quote “You were just an easy target”. little do they know i’m so aggressive and intimidating now because of that very reason…
Is it possible to do a video for those of us in a relationship with someone who has BPD? Ways to help them? How to reassure them? Make him feel heard? And what to do when splitting occurs? We've been together 16 years, I love him so much and just want to help him the right way.
Yes yes yes. I'm in a newish relationship and he's very much trying to understand what's happening with me and how to communicate or behave with me during those times but it's SO hard to find any information at all on this. There's no therapy for this in my area either.
May I offer a suggestion? Click on his name "Dr. Daniel Fox" and sort through the content he has posted already. He has done so much work to disseminate this information for free (not to mention the time it takes to edit and post this stuff). The very least we could do is not expect him to answer our individual question (of which there must be 1000s) by now. No one has the time in their day to do that. Search his content yourself. In fact, I kindly suggestion you begin by looking for videos he has already posted on splitting.
@@le_th_ i'm well aware of the time he spends doing these videos and appreciate it very much. And he answers a lot of ppl's questions. He has asked what videos would be helpful in the past so that's why I was responding.
Thank you for Hope. Im 50. A totall nightmare. Next is your workbook. I regress alot and cant function as an adult. I havent been able to die so im trying to give it a last shot on my own with u as the small family i have is tired of my nonsense they say. This must be the hardest thing ever but if i get through i can do anything. I am watching all the time Dr Fox. Thank you
I have fallen in love with someone who has bpd. I am still researching stuff. She is beautiful, challenging and damaged. But she deserves love and tenderness just the same anyone else does.
This discussion about disclosing thoughts/feelings about our core content makes me think that I'd love for you to do a video covering the conditions under which someone with BPD ought to disclose that they have BPD, what they ought to disclose and what they don't need to disclose to an intimate partner.
In my experience it's best to just be honest and explain BPD to them anyway that's clear and easy to understand. Explain why it's so important for the people that we care about to be educated about this is disorder, for it will help them understand us a lot better. It's almost a must to have the people in our lives be supportive. vice versa. I would want a person to be truthful with me out of respect instead of leaving me lost and confused and not knowing what the hell's going on. If they can't accept you for who you are, then they can just get on down the road.
Your voice and the way you speak is so calming. I just want you to hold me and tell me it’s all gonna be okay 😄. Inappropriate, but true.. it feels really safe to come here and watch your videos. Makes me feel like life will be okay. Thank you
Dr. Fox! I figured it out! The root issue of why I don't like leaving my home, but am very social when i do, is due to depression. Not social anxiety. Thank you for motivating me to look inward to discover the answer!
Thanks for this wonderful video again. I would like to share my experience. I feel so ashamed of myself. I still don't understand my core content and feel as though I'm living in a constant trigger. Like being in a boxing game, and whenever I find the strength to get up after a punch, I immediately get punched in the face again. It's exhausting. And confusing. I try to contain myself to not make it worse, and just "act normal". However, I feel like I have been giving up on myself, losing more and more touch with my own "self" and compassion. Different therapists from age 16-26 have been telling me they can't help. It probably triggers lonelyness, feeling misunderstood, unlovable, and abandoned. This is accompanied by thoughts like "it's all my fault, there's something really wrong with me, no one cares, I'm a waste of space, I'm crazy". Now, my biggest challenge is: how do I approach these feelings and wounds within myself. What happens when I sit down to meditate, this stuff seems to get triggered too. It happens so fast. I wish I knew how to sit still instead of run, I don't know or understand how I can get myself to that place. I find it frustrating, but of course that agitation will just add fuel to the fire. *sigh*. Does this make sense? I hope everyone on this channel gets in touch with their inner light and will find the strength and compassion to get to a safe and happy mental and emotional place in their lives. Thank you Dr. Fox for sharing your knowledge in a relaxed and non-judgemental way. Will be returning to your videos. Blessings to all ♥️
Orang Oetan don’t give up, I’ve been where you are, it gets easier, much easier. One day at s time, and small sustainable changes. Good luck and Thankyou for sharing ❤️
At the exact moment I began to get overwhelmed, you said that it’s probably happening for us and that it’s ok to take a break from the video. That was so validating. I had to pause just to said it. I can’t express how thankful I am for how you address BPD with so much compassion. The stigma perpetuates my distorted self image. Your videos do not whatsoever!!
I felt excited about identifying my core content, rushed to download the worksheet, started reading through it, but couldnt finish. Being confronted with so many written descriptions of my own behaviours - and at least one behaviour that I never considered before - was too much to cope with. I'm feeling pretty down on myself right now, but might tackle the worksheet again tomorrow. I'll be better prepared mentally.
This particular video was particularly AMAZING for me! After years and years of therapy, I finally discovered my core content is ABANDONMENT - Now I understand I have felt the need for a strong man to always be available to me as I fear I can’t take care of me alone. What a distortion! I can’t wait to begin processing this in therapy this week! You have no idea how much I appreciate you, Dr. Fox.
Although I have Achieved so much in life and am intelligent, Traveller a lot etc. But after a severe break up and my fathers death and many other difficult situations This feeling became dominant in my life.
My heart breaks for people with this disorder. Had a brief relationship with a woman who strongly displays 7 of 9 symptoms. She didn’t divulge this info to me. Had never heard of BPD, but boy did I learn fast. Had to figure out on my own WTH was wrong with this woman after a few weeks of bliss the monster always reappeared. For my own well being and boundaries I had to walk away, but it crushed me. My advice to bpd sufferers: if you want to have a chance at a loving relationship, you gotta divulge this disorder very early in the relationship. I could have educated myself beforehand and dealt with the chaos much better. Instead I was always on my heels trying to understand WTH was happening! I wish all of you with this disorder peace and love!
Thank you sir, I totally agree. Wonder was she aware herself? My guess is many don’t fully understand even if they do divulging it is a risk they may not want be willing to take as it will leave them rejected.
People on the outside looking in tend to think that we are just weak, overly emotion, shitty people. They have no idea how much discipline and self control it takes to maintain and not completely lose it alot of times and that we have very little control over who we are. It's like constantly riding a bucking bull. Exhausting. And embarrassing. And you can't let it get to you or you will get bucked off.
I always take something positive away from your presentations. You actually offer practical advice and things we can take away. I guess in each video I add to my emotional toolkit, so thankyou 😃
Thank you for doing this for us, Dr. Fox. You're my therapist between therapy appointments. I've been able to get others to listen to you. The remaining people want to live in La-La Land and not even TRY to understand me. Instead, it's easier to judge.
I'm 42 and have been aware of what I now know to be BPD behaviours since I was 16, but didn't know what it was until 1-2 years ago. I've found this video very interesting, and realised I've never really explored my core content. I'm very familiar with my maladaptive behaviour however! 🤪 Self harm = core content is anger which equates to feeling hurt, which stems from feeling ignored, disrespected, unloved and unappreciated by someone I love. I feel like they hate me, so I show them (in the form of physical manifestation) that they're right - I am not worth their love, and I don't even love myself, but what I'm really saying is "Look how you made me feel. Why do you hate me so much that you did this to me?" Explosive anger / verbal abuse = core content is anger that equates to hurt caused by feelings of jealousy and betrayal, which stems from feelings of my own inadequacy or inferiority, sometimes embarrassment, and reactions to being criticised. Self-hatred comments = core content is feelings of emptiness, worthlessness, fear of abandonment and again, feeling like the person doesn't love me. So...abandonment, worthlessness, emptiness, embarrassment and inferiority, fear of unreciprocated love... So now that I know this, how do I change those core feelings?!
I found that it helped me to start journaling say, 5 times a day, just about what I have done and how I feel and analysing how much of that is that voice that never is satisfied, and how I should feel about myself. Make it part of your daily routine to take note, and praise yourself for what you've done well. Also, I had to realise I don't get to choose who loves me. Just because I fear them going away, doesn't mean I get to reject their love and care. That's them caring about you and your needs.
@@bibsp3556 Thank you! Your last paragraph is so true, and very wise. I will try journalling / noting down my feelings and thoughts throughout the day, just out of interest. I never feel any pride, satisfaction or fulfilment in anything I do though. It's just not there, so I won't need the praise.
Thank for being an indefatigable cheerleader for those w personality disorder - its really does provide hope to hear someone say, "you can do it!". Thank you
I'm 34 and recently diagnosed with bpd it was both devastating and relieving. I do both therapy and dbt therapy now after watching your videos. I listen to you all the time to work to be more mindful every day. You are firm yet calming thank you for making your knowledge accessible. I don't think you understand the impact that you have on people. Thank you so much.
I haven't been able to cry in MONTHS - finding Dr Fox's videos today has finally brought tears to my eyes. I am so excited and so grateful for this resource! 😭❤️
I appreciate you so much! Your attitude towards BPD makes me feel better about myself and gives me the confidence to fight it. Your videos are extremely helpful and educational. I'm learning so much from them. I'm also working my way through your work book. It is tough at times but the book is great and is helping me. I recommend it to anyone who has BPD or BPD traits. Thank you so much for all you do. I'm grateful to have found your channel. You give me hope that one day it will all get better... thank you, thank you, thank you!
Doctor Fox is truly great man. He has helped me with my diagnosis of BPD for some time now. I typically only listen to his videos and listen at least once a week. I have major depression with anxiety along with BPD and do think about suicide occasionally. It’s the worst trifecta of diagnosis in life, period. It was about 2 years ago I finally ( with my wife’s help) figured out was else was wrong with me. I have learned to accept it and live with the demons. For those of you with BPD, you’re not alone and I wish you all peace in life.
So my husband has BPD and I went into social work and we have worked together on his denial and emotions ! I believe we made leaps and bounds on his life and mine with changing the behavior or as soon as it appears.. there is hope for everyone , it is healable!
I’d like thank you Dr. Fox. I recently ended a relationship with a long term girlfriend where I wasn’t being treated very well and I believe it was the right thing to do but was able to do so without flying into a rage ending in self destructive behavior. In the past black and white thinking would have made her an enemy but we are moving on as friends. So thanks Doc. For decades knew something was different about me and had no idea how to handle it. I truly appreciate your knowledge and compassion.
I think its the co dependence for me, I was my moms crutch for a long time, and I only felt useful when someone wanted something from me. But the most crippling trigger is when I hear a persons story of being sexually abused as a child. It breaks me, it breaks my soul, and the amount of hatred toward the abuser becomes very hostile. All I can think is how trusting and loving I was as a child, and how helpless I felt. Im pretty sure I wasn’t sexually abused but i was physically, and emotionally abused/manipulated. Im so used to helping others but i have noclue how to help myself..
Thank you for being so gentle Dr Fox. I love watching your videos because they bring that positivity that I need in my life. I feel like watching other videos about BPD make me feel like a horrible person or a monster and that doesn’t help my already negative mind but when I watch your videos I feel understood.
i just wanted to genuinely thank you for the immense effort you put into helping us bpd folks (and our loved ones) by uploading these insightful videos that feel like sincere help and not an attack on people who suffer from the disorder like how many videos that discuss bpd feel whenever i try to watch them. ur videos truly helped me a lot and continue to offer much needed insight and much appreciated ways of coping. thanks dr. i hope ur channel stays a peaceful place for us to gather around and get through this togrther.
I'm so thankful I found your channel! I used to be on 9 different medications for my BPD, PTSD, and Major Depression..It was just making me feel worse honestly, I avoided my psych for awhile as I felt I would just get prescribed something for every feeling I had. But watching your videos has helped me understand my bpd on a way better level, I switched doctors and was able to talk out my main concerns properly. Before trying to speak about my bpd it came out like nonsense because I didn't fully understand that I was just being defensive about it. Today I walked out of my appointment with just 2 prescriptions and I'm feeling so much better about myself and have so much hope. I'm still on the look for a dbt therapist that takes insurance which is apparently really hard in my city lol But till then your videos are so helpful and I use your tips so often. Thank you so much and I hope to get a hold of that workbook soon!😊
I am not diagnosed, but these make so much sense of my life and what I have done. I wrecked my marriage and my family, I pushed my friends away. I am torturing myself and my partner :( I just want it all to stop
I find your videos such a blessing as I never sense any personal judgment of BPD. This is liberating to me! I sadly have to say I’m often afraid to read/watch anything on BPD (except you) because of common place judgment. Thank you , Dr. Fox!
You are so nice 🥺 I literally needed to pause the video to thank you for helping us understand ourselves and be kind to ourself as we are not just negative core content we have positive qualities too.
Dear Dr. Fox, You Help me So much. Thank You!! And For teaching me about my Core Content. What it means and how to tap into it. Therapists world wide need to hold courses for BPD patients using your Books and work books. Bless you!
Watching your videos is helping me to understand myself so much more, in conjunction with my local therapist and new medication. Thank you and sending love out to everyone reading this, don't give up on the life you deserve to live. You are so worthy. ♡
In a healthy childhood, parents give emotional validation & attention to their children causing them to form a secure attachment. In many of us with BDP we weren't filled up emotionally and securely attached, which has left us with chronic feelings of loneliness & emptiness. So then we try to fill the empty, alone parts of ourselves through external validation; hence the attention-seeking behaviours. We are desperate to have that empty place filled up with the validation we were denied as children. The symptom of anger arises when we feel like we cannot obtain/or are denied the external validation we need. We get angry when we feel unseen, overlooked, or abandoned emotionally in someway because it triggers that childhood experience and we don't want somebody else doing the same harm to us all over again. The anger can also arise from a perceived threat- we are on higher alert to potential threats in others, even a minor flaw. Because in our childhoods we weren't safe. We were not secure. So once we see flaws in somebody we are close to, we devalue them because we need to protect ourselves against the risk of being abandoned in someway (emotionally or physically). The instable emotions I believe are caused by not having been given security in childhood- there is nothing firm or solid in our souls to anchor us; so any small emotional trigger sends us drifting away on a tidal wave of emotion; whereas in a healthy person who was given validation & attention they are thethered to an "emotional anchor" so to speak- they have something inside of them that keeps their emotions within boundaries just like an anchor keeps the bob floating within a certain radius. I believe all 9 symptoms are interlinked into a deeper core of only a couple issues- Lack of secure attachment and abandonment trauma.
I want to matter, and be heard. I have a lot to say, but I never really learned how to. I'm no good at socializing. But at my core, I wish to be significant. So I try to help others, so they would acknowledge me. But I somehow fuck it up. I try to stay hopeful, but more and more it seems I'm invisible to people around me. Your videos are of great help though, my new therapist also has a kind voice like yours and I am trying to stay positive.
I used to have the same issue. I started to major in lingustics and then started to make speeches by myself out loud on what mattered to me. I then got more confident in speaking and it didnt matter to me as much if i was heard or not because i knew how to produce what i wanted to express to myself outloud
thank you for being so great and sensitive to bpd folks. your videos help me so much, esp when I'm having an episode. I try to watch you instead of obsessively texting my FP
Thank you so much Dr Daniel Fox, hand on heart I have watched many videos from different psychologists over the years and physical therapists and nobody comes close to how good you are, thank you for everything you are doing for us, you really help me, I'm really sincerely thankful honestly, your videos don't make me feel crap, insulted or angry I appreciate everything that you are doing Xxxxxxx ❤️❤️❤️🙏
Very helpful! I would like to hear more about dealing with clingy (female) borderline folks and others that are not family or relationship. Co-workers, roommates etc. I have been thinking about people that are known let's say on the immediate neighbourhood as annoying or weird, talkative but strange, somehow not getting it...so that people keep their distance but talk behind those folks' backs. They would be people with no real friends, not really knowing what a friend is. Not knowing themselves somehow. No matter the age. I wonder how the public could be educated more about this so that undiagnosed, unhappy borderlines get a bit of a nicer life. With them being overly demanding and behaving strange, everyone pulls away. I have seen that in people who have no clue what's wrong. Not so educated, they might not get diagnosed ever. That's really too bad.
Thank you for another wonderful video. I have found that you're always so sensitive and kind in your videos. When I watch other doctor's videos on RU-vid about BPD, I find that I leave them feeling almost hurt and discouraged, but I feel supported and uplifted with yours. I bought your workbook and I look forward to getting started on it!
I feel better just listening to your voice, Dr. Fox. It's so incredibly soothing, like being wrapped in a warm soft blanket. Thank you for your wisdom and your kindness.🙂
Hello Dr. I binge watched your content. Your voice is soothing, your sharings are practical and easy to understand and application based. You're providing great value for people who need this. I started learning about this as I know someone who suffers from this, I try to understand so i can engage with respect towards them. I see you also don't put down people and give space and hope for healing. You balance the heart emotions and the logical side. Appreciate your efforts 🙏🙏🙏
Dr. Daniel Fox, you're helping me understand my condition so much. My mother has been acting out and I've identified a lot of BPD traits as she was displaying NPD traits but she too genuine and not manipulative to be a narcissist. It's been really painful studying all this and also talking about this to her. Thankyou for all your assistance and education. Really, thankyou so much.
I was diagnosed at 53 with BPD N PTSD, caused by a sycopathic narc father n a mother that ate pills 💊 n drunk. Married 2 narc women, at 52 I met a beautiful woman that was a educated girl that she probably saved my life. After 8 yrs therapy n a new sober life ITS AWESOME TODAY N I NO LONGER SUFFER FROM THIS N I STILL WATCH VIDEO'S ON THIS N NARRASIM. KEEPS ME SAFE N AWARE!..🧐🥳😎✌ U GOT SOME GREAT CONTENT DOC, N I THANK U FOR UR KNOWLEDGE!.💖💯💥
If i was a millionaire i would have a Bentley delivered to Dr. Fox's office ASAP! His delivery and content are so valuable for people who deal with this disorder. He deserves so much more for taking on this difficult area in psychology.
Thank you, and I wish you were in VA. Texas is too far to travel for therapy. I've been listening to every video I can of yours on BPD. I was misdiagnosed with bipolar 1 . My mother has BPD . So me stumbling across your channel has tremendously changed my life . No one has ever been able to break it down like you do and you don't make me feel like I should be ashamed of myself for the disorder. I feel like I can embrace it and change the outcome bc I have a better understanding of the disorder and myself. So thank you . It's appreciated and you're improving the lives of many by these videos.
So grateful for Dr Fox we need more people and professionals like him. Clear language open strategy and belief in progress with understanding. It it so absurd how many times I got ignored and even bullied over panic and crying attacks not even getting angry or anything. By grown ups and doctors. Unbelievable. Thank you Dr Fox really grateful for your channel and person.
Your videos have been so useful for me , Identifying core content and my maladaptive responses to the toxic childhood I had has enabled me to adapt my behaviour and responses to all sorts of situations which used to baffle me. I no longer rage about life. Thanks for all the help you give.
I haven't had someone address that loss of independence can be a part of someone's core content, leading to maladaptive behaviours. This realization really got some gears turning for me and I was wondering if you could talk more about core content and how to cope with specific and common core content themes? Thank you, your videos are very insightful.
Dr.Fox you reinforce and add so much more of what my last therapist gave me. Thank you. I'm also going to continue therapy and DBT and building my skills. Identifying the difference btwn my mania, PTSD symptoms and borderline episodes is hard your videos have helped with that. I've grown alot but it's a journey a d you've inspired me to keep going
Your videos are very helpful you allways have good tips that help me manage my emotions. Perceived abandonment it is what triguers the worse in me, thank you.
Dr. Fox, what do you mean when you say core content? I’m trying to understand. Could you be more specific? Or if anyone could help me out. I got diagnosed with BPD about 2 months ago, but I have been struggling with this for about 8-9 years, and my amazing husband helped me recognize my behavior and recommended seeing a physiatrist/therapist. I’m just now trying to work on myself and beat this horrible mental illness. So thankful for my husband for dealing with my angry outbursts, rude comments, and moody episodes. And not giving up on me and being very patient. ❤️
Dr Fox, can you do a video on the connection between BPD and vulnerable narcissism, and discuss behaviors of someone who has pathological vulnerable narcissism within a BPD core?
Thanks dr fox 🦊!!! I have bpd ccptsd I live in Canada and have fallen through all the cracks and can’t afford the therapy to help myself. I found you to be very insightful. I’ve been largely over the years , living in Canada full of leftist snowflakes , getting help by watching RU-vid I can’t afford the therapy I was “raised” in the still awful children’s aid society of Canada ... fed drugs and used as a guinea pig throughout the 80’s My life has been a hell I didn’t really understand what my disorder was about until around 6 years ago After fucking up my last relationship, she found me too hard to be around.... learned about bpd and abandoned me ASAP Taking my son with her For which I now fight to even be in his life Anyway dr fox .... seeing that I can’t find the help I need or afford it, you’ve been a great resource to me Thanks for being you Much obliged
shannon cardinal what is your problem??! What!? Am I an easy target? It’s people just like you who create dramas for no reason other than making people like you happy!!! You attack me for what reason again?! Do I even know you ? And of coarse shallow and low people don’t honk well of me !! Obviously!! Like you they behave the same way!!! Offended because I said something !!!? But let me guess you are always right and are morally above all and everyone ?! Let me guess you are a yoga instructor ? Get the fuck outa here with your pretentious and immature bullshit
My core content is that I am somehow constitutionally unlovable. I'm almost 41 and just got a correct diagnosis. Wasted my whole life trying to treat bipolar which I don't actually have. I have been seen by countless doctors and therapist and hospitalized more times than I can count and somehow BPD was missed. I have no clue how because it's freaking obvious to me. I'm angry. I feel like my youth was wasted and I have no hope now.
now its time to make your senior years fun, loving and accepting. you can do it, you might have wasted time but life will be sweeter now because you will appreciate the good times much more. I'm fifty two. I too am struggling to feel other than that like I'm way way behind ... and I've fallen love with a man with untreated NPD, but no matter what happens I'm stronger now and kinder than most people who haven't. suffered with BPD or anything else... don't give up. your still young!
Your videos are so helpful 🙏 I just realized that whenever I feel I will lose my independence I push people away. When my boyfriend wants to help me or support me economically I rage at him.
If there's one common word I hear and see people use about themselves, it's unlovable. It's so deep within us. We must break that lie. You deserve to be loved. And cared about. And to love someone. And to not be scared about it.
My theory based on my own journey is that BPD at it's very root, is trying to acquire the proper love you didn't receive as a child. It's constantly telling you horrible things about yourself because you're mad at yourself for not being acceptable and lovable in your family's eyes. You constantly hold yourself back in hopes of pleasing your family. And since everything in life has sacrifice, you have to sacrifice the love you never received as a child. What you gain in place of that sacrifice is you are free to truly manifest your whole self (Jungian Psychology) into the world. And be independent on a soulful level.
That’s true but as it started with trauma, the trauma has to be healed first to heal the core. At the same Time You can better life with debt etc. But trauma therapy will heal bpd in most cases.
as always dr. fox, youre very informative. thank you because i was able to overcome my bpd. been a year already and never been more peaceful and stable in my life
I ordered your workbook yesterday. I'm so excited for it to arrive! 😍 I am truly grateful for your YT content, it is so beneficial to both me, and my partner. Thank you infinitely 🙏
Thank you for all your work. I’ve been using your workbook and videos to help me manage. I’ve been having a difficult time finding a qualified therapist in my area but I’m wondering if I even need one at this point. Thanks again.
This is really helpfuul. I've been doing pretty well, working with DBT and going to therapy, but I want to understand this as thoroughly as possible, now that I finally know what it is. 'Gonna check out the worksheet and maybe later the book, too. Thank you very much.
Became friends with a single divorced man last year who reached out to me and clearly needed therapy. If only I had learned about this disorder beforehand! Had no idea, never heard of it but he displays every single trait on a list of 16. He also was an alcoholic as it turned out. Anyway it is tremendously hard to be friends with someone who is not receiving treatment. Because as you know, the constant communication issues, misinterpreting etc along with the neediness, wears a person down. Even a very patient person like me. Had to give him space to figure things out, he is in AA and in therapy and seems much better. It does cause emotional distress to family and friends, I have to keep a lot of distance now for my own sanity, although I do let him know via text or phone that I support him and hold love and acceptance for him.
Hi Dr. Fox, I really appreciate your videos. I feel sincerity in your videos which is comforting to watch while on a painful and beautiful journey. I believe I'm in thick of my issues currently, my core content. This has been the most painful time of my life while being so fulfilling. I've found that meditation has helped me be able to look deeper and not want to run. Do you know the connection of mindfullness and BDP? And what about it in particular makes so beneficial? Thank you
Thank you, Doctor, for providing a transcription of what you state in this video and a few others. Maybe you do it for all your videos, I just started watching and subscribed but being able to read as you talk is sooo helpful. Please keep providing a transcript of your excellent helpful content underneath your videos! Thank you Dr. Fox
Thanks for all the great videos!! 😃 I finally feel like I have hope with this thing that’s been destroying my life. (I also feel safe with it though??) anyways my husband always says I get too defensive and he really doesn’t like it. Is defensiveness generally a part of bpd when the core content has been triggered?
Yes, very common. For me, it's because it's hard to admit when I make a mistake - this is related to being "punished" as a very young child for any slight, real or perceived, mistake in doing my chores. I was yelled at, belittled, and beaten. It became safer for me, again as a young child, to distort or find a way to put it on something else if a slight mistake was being imagined or detected. Knowing that it's safe as an adult to admit to shortcomings or mistakes and apologize is helping a lot. I feel much calmer, it's wonderful to be honest and to grow in whatever task I'm learning, and have no fear of causing a blow up in another because I'm not perfect. Perhaps some of this may help you. In Dr. Fox's book he notes that most of us had unhealthy caregivers who may have caused some of our "core content" that causes our maladaptive behaviors - mechanisms that saved our lives with unhealthy/disordered caregivers but are now making our lives difficult because they're not healthy ways of dealing with life. Love and light to you, Friend.
