Steven Harper-I love and appreciate that you have the patience, fortitude and love for yourself and your wife. I know it’s not easy, but you give a lot of us with this diagnosis hope that we can be seen outside of this illness and be loved. I know it’s not easy but thank you for sharing.
I have BPD and my husband who is also my best friend. He is there for me through all my ups and downs. It means the world of difference. I admire you being there for your wife. Keep going, keep fighting 💙
Best of luck to you. I’ve talked to many people who’ve made quite a bit of progress. Many seem to attribute much of their healing to DBT. Try a workbook or two if you haven’t considered it already. Some good advice I heard is to not read it linearly and instead bounce around the workbooks so one section doesn’t get to be too much at once. Again, good for you and enjoy the weekend.
Good for you. You have what it takes to change...wow, keep being amazing...at any age, we can change the trauma that we've suffered with & with no help most times...you are a powerhouse.
@@donnagilbert1553 I dont get a lot of depression unless I'm going through stress....I really dont see why they're comparable. I hear that a lot...actually Bpd is almost exactly the same as Complex PTSD..you may want to look into that because they are so similar. They call Bpd different names in different countries..they still dont really have it figured out..Its also called PTSD fear of abandonment & in Europe I believe its called emotionally unstable personality disorder.
Alisha Thank You WoW thats another first..In my experience therapist don't like to work with people who have this diagnoses I had a few who told me that and other people think people with BPD are dangerous? very strange, most of us would never hurt another only ourselves. Thank you so very much for your comment it really means alot 💙
Hi Shana, We're proud of you! I don't do too well in therapy sessions either. The therapists tend to trigger me, because they don't seem to understand. I do best with these youtube videos, and I purchase the healing workbooks written by doctors from amazon. Dr. Fox has worksheets on his website that are helpful also. I might try betterhelp.com some day which is online therapy and you select your criteria and get matched with a therapist and do sessions online via webcam. I've learned to embrace bpd, and focus more on the positive traits of it. We are so intelligent, creative, and extremely unique individuals.
I think treating BPD is a lot about learning to regulate the emotions and trying to distract oneself from destructive impulses, thoughts and feelings. Then you feel like so you are not trapped in unbearable situations, your own body or mind. In the end you are finding out what you want to do with your life. So you are doing productive stuff and taking care of oneself instead of fucking up.
Victoria I think that you are spot on ..I was diagnosed BPD many many years ago and ultimately the attitude (stance) you described is what has allowed me to live my life with increased autonomy and presence ..little by little though..so discipline, patience and determination are required.
I agree with this. One of my most important tactics is to be busy. I get up right before I leave for work, enough time to get dressed, grab a coffee and do my teeth. I work all day and avoid my phone at lunch and make sure I eat. Then I come home, walk the dog, garden, dishes, washing, literally until it gets dark or my partner comes over. I eat dinner and then I watch a show or read a book and I make sure I manage the content I consume. You have to treat yourself like you’re a child that you’re responsible for. When you’re grumpy ask yourself “does my precious body need a snack? A nap? To leave a social situation politely that I’m no longer coping with?” I give myself hugs when I cry. If I get the urge to self harm I go for a run or squat until my legs are jelly instead. Distract, keep busy, leave when your emotions overwhelm.
@@jasonsnyder5469 you can x but an important part of BPD management is having hope and taking responsibility to make changes x I’m fucking useless, if I can reparent my brain you can too x
This is the best channel about personality disorders. I love the community here. Is like everyone really understands this is a space to share information and for support. Thank you Dr. Fox!
I’ve just realized when it comes to borderline the longer you fight the illness the stronger you get !💪🏾. Working on DBT and being able to pull you’re self out of theses emotional pitfalls makes it easier and easier each time. I almost had a crisis but I caught my self, I had stumbled but I looked back on these last few months I realized my growth and I remembered my strength. Soon enough it’s possible be a master in mindfulness and emotional regulation. The goal is to reach a wide mind, a state of emotional intelligence and security.
Couldn’t agree more. I have been on my journey for about 8 years now. It does get better and easier if you’re willing to be honest with yourself and willing to learn, stumble and keep on going.
oh god...I'm 20 and after seeing like over 15-20 psychiatrists and psychologists ...and being misdiagnosed all the time because of this complex bpd , now I wanna cry out of Joy seeing this , The whole video gave me validation and made me feel seen . Thank you so much for this 💜
Short story: a guy i was seeing triggered me by saying he still thinks about his ex.. he didnt want to break up but he just wanted me to know. I was so hurt cause by this point i thought our relationship was great. I blocked him (bit extreme but thats how i was feeling) i texted him a week later saying i was sorry for my overreaction- he responded saying its ok but we should just be friends. Thats when i lost the plot- i started cutting, saying i was going to kill myself etc etc... i had told him about my illness but he did not expect this. He drove me to hospital and i was just crying and asking him to please be with me (no idea whether i actually have feelings or whether its bpd attachment). He says no and just wants me to get help. Now im out of hospital and cant contact him and it makes me wanna die..... welcome to bpd life!!!! I have 2 degrees, have traveled the world and you would never know Im ill yet here we are....
Miss Fritz I have a very similar story... Yet I never imagined it was because of BPD.. I would defend my actions with sayings like “Well it’s my way of dealing with this” or “It’s the way I react to things but it doesn’t make it any less valid” and now i kind of feel bad because it’s due to my bpd where i just don’t react normally.
Sometimes trying to educate myself on BPD is very painful for me, so I haven’t been able to watch this full video, but I wanted to thank you, Dr. Fox, for your candor and sense of compassion towards this topic.
I know how you feel, I'm 44 and having an Eureka moment and it's quite frightening. But this guy is so positive and we can heal and manage ourselves. We aren't monsters. We are humans 😊 take care. And be kind to yourself.
I was diagnosed with BPD but as hard as it is to admit this, I’m starting to think I have a lot of Narcissistic traits too. It’s weird because I thought I was someone with so much empathy but my actions can be really selfish and sometimes my empathy is lacking when I know it shouldn’t be :s I feel so much cognitive dissonance lately. I want to be a good person but I look back and realize I’ve hurt a lot of people and have had a lot of issues just following the simple rules of society during my life :/ it’s like I wanted to be this tough person who wasn’t weak Maybe because my dad has NPD and he taught me that it’s all about survival of the fittest.. I don’t really believe that. I love to help people but then there were times where I felt I had to screw some people over in order to get what I thought I needed and deserved. How the hell did I think I was superior to people and yet felt inferior at the same time? Ugh
your self awareness is awesome. “Narcissistic” behaviors are a part of BPD. I don’t see in your words you have given here that you exhibit true NPD. However, I’m not a doctor- but I know people with NPD and not a single one of them could articulate this because they are not self aware. Love to you...
If you are worried about narcissistic traits you probably don't have them. .the fact that you are concerned and worried shows that you are NOT narcissistic. A narcissist does not worry or concern themselves about hurting others. I would guess that you are numbing out which is just a way off coping with too much bpd pressure
I know what you mean, when I go into a rage my empathy turns off. We share some similar symptoms with NPD but we are not narcissistic because we have the capacity to feel remorse and to want change. Normally though I am an extremely sensitive and caring person. My rage just does not allow for empathy and I have to fight to feel for other people when I am hurt. I do though. It's hard so don't be hard on yourself. I have gotten a lot better after being diagnosed 7 years ago.
@@ren1134 I just want to say that i have been bpd for over 40 years. I won't bore you with my story. Let's just say mentally ill mother and absent father. No siblings. I have apologised for my behaviours for 40 years and now I realise that I should stop apologising. I am a product of abusive parenting and that was not my fault. I find relationships very difficult because I know what I need and it seldom happens. .I presume because unless you have it you cannot understand it. I have yet to find an average sane person.in fact many people make me feel very reasonable. The difficulty is that WE suffer from our behaviour. We CARE and there is the difference. I feel that most people are happy with themselves and do not bother to hanve any insight, and that enables them to live functional lives. This is a rather simplified statement obviously .
Catra from the She-ra reboot is a textbook example of BPD. She's one of the best written villains I've ever seen in any source of entertainment but her story is an important one. If you're interested, the show is on Netflix and really picks up after the first few episodes.
@@elfglow4557 Hey, don't cry, sweetheart. It ain't your fault and if you're trying and fall and trying and fall, that's called progress. You can only go up.
I wish I would have found you years ago. I am grateful I found your channel now. You truly have a gift. I don’t think I have ever seen a doctor be so passionate about the topic he is discussing the way you do. Thank you for sharing knowledge with us and helping us through your videos. These videos are gold!
I think I am quiet borderline. I always feel pain which I cannot tell anybody. I always think that what is wrong with me. I read about mental illness and I never think I am suffering from them, then I comes know to quiet borderline, I realized that I am quite similar to it. I want to get help but still uncomfortable to go to psychologist.
When he started saying pure and complex I immediately thought of the fact that I was diagnosed with guilt bpd. Totally different symptoms but oddly similar representation.
Hania Batool You too love 💕. I’m taking some formal tests with my therapist as soon as my mother consents. Hopefully I can work on the difficulties I’m having before diagnosis. Best of luck
I was diagnosed after ending my marriage at 39 years old, my emotions leveled out and I stopped therapy back in 2003! Fast forward to today, I’m now 56 and literally have no one left in my life. My friend of 38 years gone, my children gone, my mother and brother gone! So standing in the devastation that is my life I have returned to therapy and taking DBT classes. I wish someone had recognized that something was wrong! I function very well in the world . . . . . My issues come up with family and close friends. Sometimes you have to humbly face yourself and say now you are truly as alone as you have always felt on the inside. 🥺 Then finally do something about it!
Wow. This made me cry. The insight you’ve shared at the end, on top of your vulnerability and openness… it all gave me full body goosebumps. I hope you are doing well and have made amends with those who see your effort 🤍
@@kayisokay2253 Thank you for your comment! Now all these many months later I have learned that I don’t have Borderline Personality. I have CCPTSD. Complex childhood Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. This is why the triggers happen in close personal relationships! I have been working on healing myself and looking at my behavior and learning to accept and honor what I feel and accept that without judgment! It’s a game changer!
I got diagnosed with bpd when I was 19 and it honestly changed the way I see myself and how I see the world. I just found this channel and I'm so happy you're providing so much information on BPD and other personality disorders.
Thank you for this subject Dr. Fox. I have been diagnosed with binge eating disorder, PTSD, and social anxiety disorder. Unfortunately no one picked up on BPD throughout the stints at treatment centers I went to for my eating disorder. I actually had a counselor tell me to "rock your own baby, baby" - meaning "I'm not going to comfort you, comfort yourself." I'll never forget that, I went into a corner room and cried. I don't know how to validate or comfort myself, that's what I'm learning to do now. That was a shattering experience and triggered all the bullying and invalidating adults and people who I have encountered throughout my life which triggered my BPD development. Thank you for this video because there are co-morbid disorders that DO affect my personality disorder. But my BPD is the foundation disorder that affects all other ones I have been diagnosed with. Your kindness, validation, and compassion make a difference! God bless!
❤ 10 years searching for someone who could properly articulate in a way I could grasp/relate to.. elated is an understatement, I look forward to all your videos!
Brandy I’m being annoying and asking ppl to watch my video. I think people with BPD can relate. Looking for feedback ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-jpZcL1GxCPM.html
It is definitely an everyday struggle to have complex BPD. I have been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, substance abuse and BPD. Sometimes I feel I can’t make it with all of these complex thoughts and emotions but that’s when I turn to you for guidance and support ❤️
Yes Thank you the fidget spinners n sumthin special works, literally grounds me to focus better! I find it strange how simple things are so complicated for us yet the complicated is so simple! Talk bout dyslexic ha 🤷♀️
Since a teenager I kept telling people I can't help how I am or reactions. My moods and emotions are situationally hypertensive. I have severe anxieties, I can get very easily depressed instantly, and I can resort to anger and rage quite quickly. All situational. 3 years ago I had another Concussion which sent me to a psychiatrist who agreed yes I have severe anxiety Disorders and depression and that's when I learned I had BPD all my life. I was sent to my now therapist who I explained to her that those reactions episodes I have only happen when something happens.... But I have moods that I wake up with that aren't caused by anything that last a few days and mess with me and only happen a few times a year outside of my BPD. I was diagnosed Bipolar 2. I knew the difference I could feel it was different I just didn't know what it was. I always called my emotions and mood switches situational episodes that sent me 0-100. Im triggered. That my BPD. The other random episodes that happen a few days a couple times a year I called unprevolked moods, not triggered by my surroundings. I explained the way those felt and I knew it was different. And I am one of those that's apparently highly aware that those were random bipolar episodes without knowing it... Now I know my baseline is severe BPD with transient stress related psychosis... with full blown OCD as the main anxiety... and those get interrupted by Bipolar episodes a few times a year, I have 3 different hypomanias and my depression lasts longer and happens more often. I could always feel the difference, I just didn't know what it was. 4 months ago I had a hypomanic episode and for the first time during it I knew what it what for those 5 days and it was scary having a name to the episode going through it. I also learned it's my OCD causing a lot of issues I thought I was Schizophrenic but harm OCD and other ocd aspects were the culprit with BPD stress related Psychosis.
I popped in here out of curiosity. Geeez o'pete, you wrote such a great comment!! It seems as though you have a very good grasp on what you're dealing with! Wish you well ♥️
Thanks for sharing your insights. I suppose your remarks could contribute to ongoing philosophical conversations about whether people have free will or the ability to choose their behaviors, or are responsible for their actions, etc. One caveat, Life could be tricky if people aren't perceived as responsible for their actions. Because, by and large, the people we interact with will expect us, at the very least, to refrain from expressing rage at them-- at work, home, school, church, socially, and in the community... people hate to be raged at as it hurts and scares them. Most people will not accept that they deserve the rage directed at them, or that they can somehow choose to be insensitive to how awful it feels to them to be the target. they don't want to be the target of it. Expressions of rage usually lead to some kind of consequence, either as simple as the person you rage at walking out of your life forever because they don't want the hurt, fear, and humiliation, or on up to disciplinary action.
What is harm ocd? I have some harmful repetitive body behaviors with my skin nails and excessive playing with my hair. But I've heard it can be a symptom of adhd too. My therapist just said that is anxious energy and I have anxiety and depression, i think i need a new one.
it's a f*****-up thing when you can hear your self arguing with yourself in your head but you can't stop yourself from doing the wrong thing even though you're consciously aware and trying to stop yourself at the same time
@@eminemilly one example of my OCD is that if the ribs on my tank aren't perfectly straight I will retuck my shirt as many times as I have to despite the fact that I'm running late for work.
Today, I was FINALLY OFFICIALLY diagnosed Bipolar 1 with BPD. Annnnnnnnd it was my first appointment with that doctor. I never want to go back again. I wish I had more doctors like you in my area but I live in a small town in basically almost the middle of nowhere. Resources here are little to none. But your videos right now. I’m so thankful for them. It’s been so hard dealin with this now that I’m self aware about it. And these just give me hope.
I hope that mental health providers have listened to you, most of them won’t listen to us. I’ve been on Prozac 2 times and Wellbutrin and they never listened, I stopped trying. Thank you for shedding some light on this topic! I’ve thought I was crazy for a long time :(
I have BPD and its so painful, everyday is a struggle. My wife finds it hard to see me struggle, but my wife also struggles herself to live with me with the BPD. I've recently had a bad episode where i ended up in hospital twice in 48hrs, its so debilitating.
So I'm about 7 videos into your RU-vid content and I want to say a couple things. For one, thank you for making these. For two, despite studying "the things wrong with me" due to life events I won't detail here (I bet you could guess) I actually feel a lot less broken and alone just at the moment. Thank you for being so informative and passionate about your topics. I'm truly and deeply grateful for this content being put out for free for those of us in similar situations. All the best. Keep up your work!
Daniel, I appreciate these videos and knowledge that you share more than words can express. Thank you, I feel much less lonely. I was always treated for depression from the age of 16 and put on so many medications that only made things worse.. I didn't get diagnosed with severe BPD until last year at the age of 32. It has transformed my life, and it makes so much sense. Now I know why i used to absolutely dread getting into relationships, what fueled my jealousy and self harming, why I've never had a fixed self image, why I can blow up at the smallest criticism, why I was an alcoholic, why I'm so sensitive etc.. my dad was the same, I always thought I'd been affected by his actions and blamed him. It's good to know there are people out there who can relate. Is it weird that I sometimes pity people for having a stronge self image? I often feel like that can limit a person. Thanks again, Jamie, Scotland
Do you mind explaining why you blow up at the smallest criticism? I can't afford treatment right now and i've been diagnosed for about 6 years. I did a DBT group but my ins at the time stopped paying after 2 weeks :( I'm confused as to why this is happening with the criticisms. For you is it the fear of abandonment underneath that that's causing it? I also am very jealous too and think everything is his fault so I sound like i'm where you were before you got treated. Im very confused right now :(
@@Leahv103 Hi Leah, yes.. the criticism thing comes down to abandonment, emotion regulation and black and white thinking. the person criticising you doesn't realise nor intend the intense hurt it causes you. they most probably don't mean it the way you perceive it.. very important!! - you must analyse the FACTS and not attatch your FICTIONAL hypothesis upon reality. breathing and mindfulness techniques to calm down are the most effective in my experience. God jealousy is the most grotesque of feelings, I pity anyone who has felt it like me.. AGAIN, do not place your perspective upon reality and see that as absolute. look at the facts. are you being judgemental? maybe things are actually stable, and is that what you truly want? I tried to look for something in others that I could only ever find in myself!! don't expect it from them. you are beautiful, love and power to you x
@@Leahv103 you are so welcome, i could talk to anyone forever about this. also I forgot to mention, I spun into a lifestyle trying to obtain as much pleasure as possible.. what I didn't know was pleasure and happiness are NOT the same thing. I recommend looking into that very specific subject. thank YOU :-) xoxo
@@jaybird8748 That's a great point! I never really thought about that before. I got triggered literally 3 times within a couple hours yesterday. I didn't react though. (yay!) One of them was a jealousy thought. I get jealous when my husband thinks of any girl but me. I know this sounds conceited (or stupid) and it is, but when this happens my heart drops and it feels like he cheated or something. Idk how to cope with this feeling or where it is coming from! It makes sense that the criticism thing comes from abandonment fears. Ive thought deeply about it and I think that if I'm not perfect he could leave me or that he can't love me or something.
Thank you so much for this video. I am currently in the hospital, waiting for a bed in the hospital's psychiatric unit. I am diagnosed with BPD, Bipolar, PTSD, Major Depressive Disorder and Unspecified Anxiety Disorder. I wasn't really educated much on these diagnoses. I had to do a lot of research on my own... Just to understand myself and who I am. Before I received the BPD diagnosis last year, many many doctors just said I was Bipolar, with MDD, PTSD and Anxiety. There was a period where I went through almost every anti-depressant out there, each one would work for a bit then I'd spiral. Especially the Prozac. I started on 20mg, worked great the first couple months... Until it didn't anymore. It actually made the suicidal ideations more frequent and more vivid/detailed. When I would tell my doctor this, he'd increase the milligram. I'd be fine for a couple weeks, then the ideations and urges to end my life would come back. Stronger... And this went on until I was at 80mg a day. The max dose. And so I OD'd on it, on purpose. Tube down my nose, charcoal, HORRIBLE serotonin syndrome. Since then, the new (accurate) diagnosis, I don't take anti-depressants anymore. I take Lithium and Seroquel. So far, it's alright. But I've been having major episodes of disassociation and depersonalization. I'm having flashbacks. Memories that aren't familiar at all, like they're not even mine and I'm just watching a movie clip... Its worth mentioning that I also have PNES, due to the many traumas in my life, as a defense mechanism, my body will go into a full blown seizure. I'm talking Grand Mal, incontinence and aspiration on my own mucus and vomit. I am hoping I'll get some proper answers and proper education on what is happening to me and WHY, when I get to this psych unit. As it is extremely tiring, feeling like this all the time with no clue as to why and no solutions. (Though I have heard that DBT and EMDR are good for those with BPD, PTSD and Bipolar disorder) I absolutely love this video. I don't feel so alone in the world now... Like I'm the only one who is going through this. I wish you could be MY doctor! Haha haha. Here's hoping you're having a beautiful day. Stay safe out there... And thank you again. I have to go check out some more of your videos now.
Thanks for bringing this to light. In addition to BPD, I'm also diagnosed with ADHD, GAD, SAD, MDD & dysthymia. I also have dermatillomania & AVPD traits. Any therapy I've received has only ever been to basically manage one diagnosis at a time (I can't afford a private therapist). It's left me feeling so confused & like when I try to focus on managing one disorder, another disorder or two complicates or contradicts everything & I end up feeling like I'm completely hopeless. I think if I had a therapist who could manage all of these disorders together & understand how they interact with each other maybe I'd stand a chance..
Your videos give me so much hope because I've felt so dismissed by mental health professionals in the past - you clearly care about your patients and are passionate about your work. it looks like you're actually singlehandedly progressing the understanding of what I go through for free online and from within the field. you teach me new things about myself all the time. thank you!
Being diagnosed with BPD has created more questions than answers, it's hard because my mom can identify ive always had borderline traits. But trauma in early adulthood has created a complex situation I havent always found sympathetic help in the medical field for. This is how I want the tone interactions with medical professionals to go.
What about Emotional neglect symptoms vs bpd. Feelings of emptiness. Emptiness feels different for different people. For some, it’s an empty feeling in their belly, chest or throat that comes and goes. For others, it’s a numbness. Fear of being dependent. It’s one thing to be an independent kind of person. But feeling deeply uncomfortable about depending on anyone is another thing altogether. If you find yourself taking great care to not need help, support or care from others, you may have this fear. Unrealistic self-appraisal. Do you find it hard to know what you are capable of? What are your strengths and weaknesses? What do you like? What do you want? What matters to you? Struggling to answer these questions is a sign that you don’t know yourself as well as you should. No compassion for yourself, plenty for others. Are you harder on yourself than you would ever be on a friend? Do others talk to you about their problems, but it’s hard for you to share yours? Guilt, shame, self-directed anger, and blame. Guilt, shame, anger, and blame; The Fabulous Four, all directed at yourself. Some people have a tendency to go straight to guilt and shame whenever a negative event happens in their lives. Do you feel ashamed of things that most people would never be ashamed of? Like having needs, making mistakes, or having feelings? Feeling fatally flawed. This is that deep sense I talked about above. You know that something is wrong in your life, but you can’t pinpoint what it is. “It’s me,” you say to yourself, and you feel that it is true. “I’m not likable,” “I’m different than other people.” “Something is wrong with me.” Difficulty feeling, identifying, managing and/or expressing emotions. Do you get tongue-tied when you’re upset? Have a limited vocabulary of emotion words? Often feel confused about why people (including yourself) feel or act the way they do? Can this also go with bpd as well???? Please can you explain
Dr fox I did ur bpd workbook n it helped me see things better n helped me so much. Now m doing ur other workbook on personality disorder it is already helped n m only on the 1st exercise. For those of us who cannot afford professional therapy ur work comes as a blessing from the universe. Thank you doctor ur a beautiful soul for making this knowledge free and accessible love you ❤️💕🌹💞💪💖☺️🙏
I think adding another category to BPD would only increase the confusion, and continue the awful trend of misdiagnosing CPTSD as BPD simply because CPTSD is not listed in the DSM and therapists are thereby 'forced' to pin a damaging diagnosis on an already traumatized victim of narcissistic abuse. This is basically tarring the victim with the same brush as their perpetrator. Campaigning to add CPTSD to the DSM is the only solution.
I’m openly laughing to myself about the discussion of you wanting to make your sessions empowering and positive for your patients, so they’ll return. I’d happily take being a sobbing pissed-off mess for my therapist-if I could just FIND ONE. Bonus if they took my insurance, and actually had an opening for new clients.
Theresa Oliver I have insurance, but I have issues with getting coverage. Then, it's just hard knowing where to go to try to get my proper diagnoses finally and treatment. I feel like so many therapists missed so much with my case over the years, even though I was so open and shared so much, even upfront. It has made me lose my faith in therapy.
@@sweetluvgurl The knowledge is growing so much on so many different concepts and disorders, and becoming so complex, that few to no therapists know all of it. To boot, they have to train themselves or pay for expensive trainings... nobody in authority is making sure they know important things. They have to stumble on it or seek it out. They could go to training all day every day and not get everything, or read all day every day and not get everything. Truly, the field should be more like the medical field in the sense of clearly specified specializations
@@sweetluvgurl yeah I hear yah, bipolar disorder, adhd with rsd, schizophrenia, narcissist personality disorders and antisocial disorders and ocd are so close to this disorder and the lack of focus given and the amount of filled group therapy centers for the psychologists trained in this disorder is the first and seemingly never ending hurdle. Let alone significant others and friends willing to stick by you and not do the most devastating thing that pushes most people with this affliction over the edge eh!
I have this problem where my insurance picked my therapist who is only that a therapist not a psychiatrist or clinical psychologist. She is nice and i saw her for 6 months and have gotten nowhere. My pcp provides the perscription meds and doesn't communicate with me or the therapist. So i am 100 percent sure i have BPD but am diagnosed with Bipolar 2 and CPTSD. All of my episodes are caused by inherent abandonment issues and i can't even imagine why i hadn't been diagnosed with this before! I told my new PCP about the bipolar disorder and asked if it was in my new chart and he said it didn't NEED to be.... I said ok but it rubbed me the wrong way. I told him about my other concerns and he just said hed never heard of BPD but that i can't get another therapist because of insurance and the only option i have is to go to the emergency mental health office and wait to talk to someone there... I don't want to go to a 1 time appt with a dr. Who is going to listen to my life story so to speak and say yeah you have this, now have another perscription see ya again never... Oh and my husband goes back amd forth with his "medical opinion" he either says im a psycho and need mental help or if i try to show him anything about BPD he says i have all the traits but he DOESNT BELIEVE in personality disorders.... and says not being able to control my emotions sounds stupid to him.
After a bad suicide attempt I was diagnosed by a table of doctors at least seven who all interrogated me and told me I see things in black and white saying I have borderline personality disorder I never cared to find out until 2months ago while when the doctors evaluated me it was 4years ago dr daniel fox has really been someone who hasn’t been a ad doctor and a great source to find out about myself I don’t understand myself haven’t my whole life and finally trying to after 22years is very hard.
Dr.Fox I wish u were my psychiatrist. I was diagnosed with ADHD and at the same time my doc said I lack a sense of self but didnt use the words BPD. Iv been watching ur videos and it makes so much sense. It’s like ur looking through my soul.
How I wish you were my own therapist. All the time that I could have saved, the years that were not wasted, the potential in my abilities that could have been achieved... let alone, the loss of loved ones who must regularly balance the damage that my BPD has caused them. 💔
I'm so struggling getting any one to listen to me I've been diagnosed and left to get on with it I'm 42 and this has been ruining my life for years I just wish a doctor wud listen ❤
Same. It can be so frustrating. I'm 34, close to 35 now, and I seriously don't think I have all my proper diagnoses, even though I tried hard for years in therapy and opened up easily and gave so many clues that I have certain things, including BPD, that they missed.
I was misdiagnosed, I would say, with just depression. I was on anti-depressants for 23 years and lost my wife after 23 years together. I also up and left my awesome career after 19 years. Finally diagnosed with BPD, Bipolar and attachment disorder last year and have been trying to work on finding my place in this world again. I am working hard to recognize and stop my negative behaviors.
Great job with developing insight and working hard to develop those adaptive strategies to manage the maladaptive patterns that disrupt your life. Take care.
My doctor said i have anxiety but i have other symptoms (fear of abandonment,shifting self-image, daydreaming a lot, self hurt thoughts but don't get action unless i'm at bad situation, Unstable relationships but i don't get my anger out and i fear people, i get nervous socializing, i feel empty and bored many times, emotional swings like i'm happy one minute and when i notice something i get easily upset, i have a very negative mind, sometime i believe my lies, when i fear someone i tend to told them i have relatives with powers some sort of that ...) so i'm confused
It takes months to confirm a bpd diagnosis. If other therapists are accessible to you, it might be in your interest to give it a try. Wishing you courage.
I was married for 14 years to my high school sweetheart. We went to Cedar Park High school together in Austin. She graduated early to go to Baylor with me and get married, which we did at Baylor (on campus) in 2006. I loved her dearly. I'm hoping that anyone reading this might benefit in some way from my story. My wife had an intense fear of abandonment. She was always asking for affirmation: "do you love me?" "You'll never leave me, right?" During the 18 years that I knew her, she would generate INTENSE and fiery relationships, both friendships and romantic relationships, where she was quick to say "I love you" and would aggressively overshare and commit to a person, and then something would happen and almost without warning, she perceived that person as morally bankrupt and irreconcilably evil. In moments where she was suffering from emotional distress, she would misinterpret almost everything I said as an attack on her. Even if I said nothing, she would assume that she knew what I was thinking, and any small element of my behavior in the moment was perceived as an attack. I wanted to help her so badly in these moments, and I felt powerless and hopeless to help her. I also always felt I was walking on eggshells, because just about anything I said or did would seemingly lead to an argument, panic attack, psychotic break, or suicidal ideation. Sometimes, if I left for a few hours, she would say she had tried to commit suicide while I was gone. "See the marks on my neck?" she would say, "I tried to hang myself with this dog leash." She would show me the leash and point to her neck. There were no marks. She would call her mom and tell her mom the same thing. I'd just listen to her patiently, but it was clear she was seeking attention, so I wasn't ever sure what to do except love her and not reward that behavior with the type of attention she was seeking. One time I left for a day and came back and she told me she'd had a heart attack (at the age of 33). How do you respond to that? A couple months later, she had started following me around - all the time, day and night. I sat her down at one point and had a talk with her about independence and boundaries. She said that she felt like I was trying to kick her out of her own house. When she looked at me, there was paranoia in her eyes; she couldn't see me, and she couldn't trust me. I assured her that I loved her and wasn't trying to kick her out, and that I was committed to her. I told her that I wouldn't be doing this hard work with her if I was trying to kick her out or abandon her. She essentially told me that I had to sleep with her every night, and that was her "boundary" and I explained that I need my own sleep and sometimes that means that I sleep on the couch or in another room. She became very upset, and I told her that I needed some space so that I could think about all of this stuff. In response, she took a bunch of clonopin in front of me. I brought her to the hospital, where she told everyone in her physical and emotional radius that I was abusive, cheating. etc. (untrue). Her parents and close friends all turned on me instantly. These people were my family until this moment. These friends were (previously) my friends, too. She recruited them for the splitting process. When she got out of the mental hospital (Cross Creek) a week or so later, she came back and immediately (within 3 hours) threatened to commit suicide. I explained that I thought she might need more care. She had a panic attack, and I went to her and held her while she sobbed and screamed. Then she left and went to live with her parents (supposedly) and proceeded to bait me over text, trying to get me to say things that she could construe as incriminating. It was outrageous, and I felt betrayed and abandoned. I realized at some point that she was just using everything I said against me, not just in that conversation, but everything I'd EVER said. I began to make my responses as pointed as possible so as not to incur liability for her to twist and weaponize my words. She ghosted me. It hurt for months and months, but I'm starting to realize that despite the damage she did to my reputation, I have escaped a bad situation.
I relate to this so much. I left home a month ago after being with my husband for nearly 6 years because my mental health was deteriorating. I thought for such a long time that he was bipolar but couldn’t make sense of the mood changes happening the same day and never fully lasting for days like bipolar disorder is often described. I begged him to seek therapy but he never did. My husband constantly told me I didn’t show him affection even though everyone could see how much I loved him. He constantly acted like I was lying to him, or hiding things from him, kept telling me his friends were out to get him and lost so many good friends because of it. He started to become very possessive and flipped when I spent my hard earned money on anything, so I stopped buying myself things. The last day, when I left, he degraded me, said incredibly hurtful things and told me to leave. So I did. Then he started to threaten me, posted on social media that he’d finally divorced me(even though we haven’t filed) and made my life hell for 2 weeks. After those 2 weeks, he begged for me to come back. Went out and bought me things on impulse because he believed it was my “sadness about me not being able to buy myself anything that drove me away”. I cannot go back. I have so many nightmares about him. I am here now trying to understand what is happening because his mother spoke to people about his behavior and we all believe he has BPD with some ocd.
3 года назад
Wow you have been through a lot of pain. I wish you the best and I hope you overcome these events soon.
I've been diagnosed with BPD in 2014, but now as I came across your channel, I realize how little I knew about my disorder. My therapist was good as she helped me get back on my feet and re-gain some sense of self, but I've been basically 'relapsing' for the past 2 years and I had no idea what was going on with me. Why am I the way I am, why am I feeling or not feeling certain ways, why am I acting in and hurting myself, why am I so empty, numb and self-deprived. Why am I so severely mentally and emotionally unstable? Now I know that I simply never got to learn and understand BDP. I only knew that it was my diagnosis and I had it. So thank you so much for your videos and channel, because it helps me understand myself better and finally stop thinking I'm a terrible person.
This helps to explain my current situation perfectly. Having been prescribed antidepressants on and off since I was 18 (I'm now 46) I was finally diagnosed with Bipolar at the age of 40 when life circumstances brought on a breakdown and exacerbation of my symptoms. A year later my diagnosis was changed to EUPD-Borderline type followed shortly afterwards by an assessment that gave me a diagnosis of OCPD. Not only has this been incredibly confusing but has meant that my treatment has involved a trial and error concoction of a wide range of drugs and therapies none of which have brought me any further along the recovery scale. It is an utterly frustrating, demoralizing and destructive process to be a part of and has left me feeling utterly helpless and hopeless. I have been passed from professional to professional and now find myself back at the starting point with my GP having recently referred me for a reassessment. No wonder so many people fall through the cracks and tragically commit to taking their own lives. The medical system and especially the mental health system is essentially flawed and does not seem to have the knowledge or resources to diagnose and treat chronic severe mental health conditions, I applaud your work and feel strongly that your book will provide the missing link to how this condition is viewed and treated.
I went from having bipolar 2 and depression to bipolar and BPD to BPD, PTSD, Depression, and anxiety. It definitely was a rollercoaster and took a lot of self awareness and ability to describe my symptoms to finally get to this diagnosis. So many mental health professionals set me back so much. I appreciate what you do so much.
I wish that I would have had you as my Dr when I was first diagnosed. I was diagnosed with PTSD, Bipolar, and BPD. My Dr didn't know how to treat me medicinally so she just gave me a high dose of as many meds as she could. I ended up a zombie who slept from midnight to 8pm and when I was awake I was eating and crying. The meds also effected my breathing to a point that I was on three asthma treatments. I ALSO ended up with severe tremors to the point that I could barely feed myself or tie my shows. I (very dangerously) took myself off several of the meds and lowered a few, found a different and better Dr who supported what I had done with my meds (though stressed that it was dangerous to do on my own) and found me a good therapist. I've made huge strides sense then.
Wow! I always learn something more with every video posting you do. I had no idea that my BPD caused depression. I just figured they were two separate things that triggered each other and that's why I would get body slammed. I'm fighting with my depression currently and I assumed it was the aftermath of the BPD episode I had a month ago and then again 2 wks ago. If I'm understanding you correctly, this means I am still in my BPD mode underneath the depression I'm currently experiencing. Which would explain why I can't seem to get out of my head and stop over-analyzing and dissecting the event that triggered me in the first place. 🤔 I definitely relate to the emptiness and invisible feelings. I think the emptiness is my hardest struggle battle. I'm quiet BPD with depression. I have a hard time getting angry at anyone other than myself when things blow up in my face especially with relationships. I tend to try and control the outcome of everything around me as well as keep myself in check at all times. I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders and I have no idea how to simply let go and move on. It's very frustrating because I see what I'm doing, know what I should be doing, but yet I'm unable to make it happen the way I know I should be handling things. I literally feel as though I'm standing on the outside looking in at the destruction going on when I am triggered and flared. Helpless and silently screaming at myself to calm down and think it through....simply breathe! But the 'me' that's on the inside amidst the destruction not only can't hear me from the outside but has to just ride it out until the walls stop shaking and falling down around me.
i am SO happy that this channel exist. i develloped BPD only a couple years ago and never really got the help i wanted/needed. thank you so much for the info, i love it
Fascinating. Thank you for making this video. I have co-morbid disorders along with BPD. I got the Workbook, and this is VERY interesting. Thank you for bringing this up. Yes, please delve deeper into this more over time. Thank you for making a difference in the world for knowledge. It's all so amazingly worded.
I've just received my spiral bound copy of your book. I'm so excited to dive in. I'm so grateful for you and all the work you have done and continue to do for this community. Abundant Blessings to you and your family.
i was misdiagnosed with Bipolar and gave me anti psychotics and kept increasing the doses of the meds which i had since 2013. Two days ago i finally saw a new Doc and he said i'm BPD. Finally confirm.
I lost my daughter 3 years ago to suicide almost 4 years now she was exactly like me with her personality very sensitive always crying always feeling empty inside feeling like a burden to the world suicidal ideations except she carried her out at the time I had no idea what was wrong with her and had no idea what was wrong with myself but thanks to you you have explained what has been wrong with me and why my daughter lost her life and I can't thank you enough I would very enjoy you
I appreciate the encouragement. I used to go to a community mental health centre and it ended badly because they said I knew all the stuff and I should be good to go. That's when I started paying for therapy from psychologists, who recognized that it's not just one thing (BPD) and that when BPD symptoms are well controlled I still have panic disorder with agoraphobia and a chronic physical illness. It's really hard to find a source to manage it all, especially on a budget. My hope is to figure out a plan that connects me to the variety of possible sources that will help me toward wellness and is within my means.
Dr. Fox, I bought your workbook. I just want to thank you so much for the easy and comforting way, you laid it out. I’m still in the middle of it. But I already feel that the symptoms are manageable. It is very engaging with lots of exercises. Bless your good heart Dr. Fox Much love to you! 💕💕
It's really rare to receive this compassion towards BDP patients. Thank you Dr. Fox for empathising with BPD struggles. BPD is vilified; those who suffer from BPD are often portrayed as perpetrators and it's so untrue. BPD patients are hypersensitive, extremely wounded undeveloped brains. It was not their choice.
Recognising MPD is vital. Clinicians. Therapist. Of that field. Should be able to pick it up early. Experiencing narcissism. Definitely gives you a head start. Recognising the traits.
I believe that the term "Borderline" should be banished. The fallout in a person's life from having that label "slapped" (I say "slapped" because it feels like a slap) on them at a young age is never-ending. I'm 77 and hate the therapist who gave me that label. It has affected my relationships with my doctors and, also, has been an impediment when I had to use the legal system. I wish you guys could at least point out the MANY positive traits that "Borderlines" have.
Your videos have given me so much hope. I have been struggling with this for 14 years with misgoagnoses, medication mismanagement (not listening to my symptoms and encouraging me to take harmful medications until a hospitalization happens) and just feeling generally unsupported in my life due to the turbulent relationships. Your videos have helped give me insight into myself and I really really hope my support system will start watching your videos to understand me a little better and to understand what they can do to help me. (Me telling them doesn't seem to help. I feel dismissed.) Please keep doing what you're doing. You're amazing.
Thank you so much for acknowledging the good day treatments vs. Distress. I always feel bad on the good days and like I only deserve treatment on the distress days. and also... just how hard it is to do anything. I constantly feel like BPD is overlooked and taken less seriously but your videos make me feel validated, and truly every day is so hard. So thank you.
Your videos are very informative. I was diagnosed with BP1 last year and the lady that assessed me told me I met many of the criteria for a BPD diagnosis, but she decided to keep that out of my paper work for some reason that she did not expand upon. But listening to your videos have opened up a lot of my past behaviors that I cannot say with 100% is the BP1.
The need for distinctions with BPD is really necessary . Usually...from what I understand, most doctors fear people who are dealing with too many co- morbid issues because it just ends in endless amounts of pharmaceutical products but no true help. I have many multiple problems and I deeply appreciate the work you are doing in an attempt to simplify the diagnosis and reduce the stigma. Just because a patient's life is difficult does not mean that they are "difficult people". This is such a huge goal to undertake and I so look forward to your book and more videos. Your calm patience and willingness to be sincere means so much to those who are struggling. Thank you!
Thank you so much for this video. I have spent 10 years trying to explain this concept to my doctors and therapists. I experience all of the things you are talking about. Doctors dismissing the BPD all together and focusing on my comorbid GAD and bipolar disorder, continuously upping or changing my meds to no avail, etc. I recently was forced to switch doctors and didn't want to bother going because I thought it will just be the same old same old with no improvement, but this video gives me hope. Thank you
Daniel- I sincerely appreciate all of the BPD videos. Someone very close to me has it and your videos are extremely helpful to understand and approach episodes. Thanks very much.
I was unofficially diagnosed Borderline Bipolar...? I only seem to have the problem with it when surrounded by my family or abusive narcissists... I once live out of state for 8 months straight and was fine.... Bum bum bum... until my boyfriend started mild abusive behavior, then I ended up leaving and moving in with my father... I then had to leave there because of his narcissistic control... so i have only had small patches of health... but i know I am capable of handling myself when not abused... Anyhow now my husband and I are working together, he has narcissistic traits but his eyes are now opened and he does not want to be... It is thanks to RU-vid Doctors like you !!!
was diagnosed w/ ptsd @ 8, Borderline @ 15 and C- PTSD @ 22 then @ 25. Now I am 29. If I had never been abused, I would be an empath but after my PTSD diagnosis, I was given back to my mother, A Narcissist with extreme gaslighting skills & so with that and other abuses I let go on because I had no boundaries, My real gifts as an empath got messed up a bit. Thank you for sharing. I just want to leave this comment and I am giving you a like for your post. Ppl w/ a BPD diagnosis have issues w/ boundaries.. If they were taught this and worked on it the second they were diagnosed, they wouldn't appear to be manipulative because they are not actually trying to manipulate people. People with BPD are taught a lot about DBT which helps you control your emotions but I really think more of an emphasis on boundaries needs to be made. Also, manipulative accusations have always really bothered me(especially coming from "professionals"). People with bpd may make you feel manipulated because of their emotional dumping but if they are not being rude to you, then they are most likely just trying to get basic needs that were not met when developing. The thing is most people with bpd have attachment disorders and were never TAUGHT boundaries. NARCs strongly benefit from people having no boundaries. So with that in mind, OF COURSE people with borderline personality disorder are going to be used to a very messed up way of communicating that benefits no one except a narcissist because those are the only people that want to deal with a borderline and it's because they can easily manipulate them. Empaths also have issues with boundaries which attracts narcs. But an empath with boundaries isn't going to get much attention from a narc. Whoo! Same thing goes for people with BPD! Start setting those boundaries and you start setting yourself free.
It feels good to hear you again Dr Fox, i got rid of the narcissist that was living with me, i feel i won the battle but i can see i am wounded and picking up the pieces and it caused issues in my marriage not only because of the amount of disrespect and trouble the narc caused but my wife is mad at me for allowing the narc to live with it and allowing it to go on as long as i did. I have been more suicidal than i ever have and i hope to get things worked out with my wife and get back to myself, theres a possibility of divorce and so my fear of abandonment is high. So im not doing well, i have been still attending sessions with my therapist since December of last year/January, i hate how i feel lately but i am trying to do what i can. I also am trying to get back on track, dealing with a narc really messed me up. But you give me hope and comfort even in these dark times, thank you.
Thank you for posting these videos about bpd. I’m ina relationship with a person who I’m certain has it and I’m praying that he watches your videos with me and can get the treatment he needs to reach his full potential
Hi Sir, I have had BPD diagnosed since I was 16. I live in England and I do not have enough money to be private. I was on a waiting list for help for 2 years, I turned 18 and was taking off that list & put onto the adult list so never got the help I was waiting for. I waited another 2 years and got some help when I was in a psychiatric ward after suicide attempt when I was 20. I had no further help. I went to rehab when I was 23, 9 months, got sober. Great. I’m now 26 and still waiting for help on NHS lists. And have not seen a psychiatrist since I was 20. The mental health system in England is killing us.
Don't really know if this is what I have but, being or not, weed really helps, specially with stop being sad, helps me feeling whole and it just helps controlling emotions, specially anger outbursts.
A loved one was so depressed, she almost entirely stopped eating. Her drop in weight was frightening. She couldn't sleep thru the night. Isolated in room. Stopped interacting with anyone in house. Dr. Wasn't sure if bi polar or bpd, however, no mania that was noticable. Rapid mood swings, irritable, severe depression.
Yes, I make healing progress from these videos from Dr. FOX. He shows what it IS, and illustrates the steps we need to take to change behaviors. Gotta forgive, but not excuse ourselves in CONTINUEING to act out.
I wish I had a more exp doctor to help me with my BPD, been just tossed around cause most local doctors only do short term and have 0 BPD exp, making suicide wards, constant struggling, feeling more hopeless as years go by and I am still continue to be untreated properly. Most phsycs I try to get on have closed to new clients or dont take my disability medical... On top of that now we have Covid going on and all DBT classes are 1v1 via phone, but with short term doctors less then the 9months I'd need... I really hope before I turn 40 mental health doctors are more knowledgeable like this, it's heartbreaking to think so many of us just get tossed around to fend for ourselves... (turning 36 in Aug, so my hopes are very low that'll happen) Thnx for these videos, they are really all I have knowing I have to basically treat myself till I find a good doc.
You have opened my mind so much. Complex bpd makes so much sense. I have been diagnosed with BPD, CPTSD, and MDD along with OCD. I've always felt that they're all related and complex. It's definitely something to explore. Thank you.
first I was diagnosed with social anxiety, then depression, then generalized anxiety, then ocd and then an ed. At first my psychiatrist, family and I were really confused about why I have all of those illnesses but a few days ago I was diagnosed with bpd and it all makes sense now
This is the most cliche thing to say to anyone, but understand many more are like you. I try and talk to people and keep my book open with them regarding what i feel. Reason I do that is I hope it can instill some confidence and assurance for themselves. Hope you're well!! I'm borderline and what has helped me tremendously is the discovery of my love for painting. Put your mood on the canvas to show the world your horror. Funny thing about the horror on the canvas is often times the painting or drawing will provoke thought and a smile begins to form on the person viewing your art. You at that point have affected a person in a very personal manner nobody else can know, because nobody else created that painting except you.
Okay, so there are a couple of takeaways from this exceptional informative introduction/tutorial. №1. Complex BPD is a Complex Personality Disorder. №2. BPD is causing the depression. The depression is NOT causing BPD. №3. The definitive reasonable legitimate practical and sensible explanation as to why (🤷🏽♂️) MEDICATIONS have been a Disaster and an Abysmal FAILURE treating Co-morbid Personality Disorders; specifically in my situation and/or life. It would be more accurate to say 🗣️ "Deplorable Quality of Life." Dr. Fox, YOU have been extremely instrumental, in the exponential progress; I have made since initially subscribing👉🏽👉🏽👉🏽👉🏽👉🏽👉🏽👉🏽 with post notifications ON, like Yes Sir! Absolutely! ON RU-vid & INSTAGRAM! I wanna say thank 🙏🏽 you for the videos the content and your efforts within the "Mental Health Profession." YOU deserve an award matter-fact "🏆🖤Humanitarian of The Year🖤🏆" would be fitting and equally appropriate! I AM now subsequently, inundated with a multiplicity of complex questions...not the time or the place.
Psychology major here diagnosed with CPTSD and BPD... had no idea complex BPD existed and I have it! (Have many other comorbid disorders as well). I don't like to think of it as a defect, as some do. It's the brain trying to figure out how to survive when trauma isn't occurring, and the circuits need to be rewired.
OMG! I was just telling myself before watching this video I’ve never thought I have bpd until I start to take medication for my OCD, intrusive thoughts and social anxiety and it worked! Now my borderline personality has the whole playground to dominate! Ironically my OCD medication diminished my ADHD symptoms that I rarely need to take stimulants anymore but BPD monster is in full blown especially that I’m in love now!! Your videos helped me diagnose myself! The only thing that doesn’t apply to me is the lack of empathy! I’m very empathetic that sometimes it’l eats me alive! I’m vegan because I can’t handle the suffering of the animals! All my pets I rescued myself from the street! I also don’t self harm but yeah I wish I don’t exist and that the life of others would be better without me but i’ve never planned for suicide! I just wish if I wasn’t born but since I’m here I’m gonna enjoy the show and try to distract or reduce myself from my pain!
The only adaptation I saw, was from drinking and added drug use, I’m sure that’s not what you mend. MBP would be capable of doing something simular like what you wrote.
sadly when you have BPD the mental states are so volatile you never stay in one of them for a substantial amount of time to make a progress in coping with them
You know, why therapy is so hard. The therapist keeps challenging us with the triggers. That is very exhausting Sometimes I wonder if they really know how consuming it can be.
Siobhan Fogarty Good point. Should be grateful. It’s both nice to sense that you have someone by your side, challenging you at the same time to become a better human being.
This needs to be talked about more often . . . Thank you SO much! I understand myself and my problems much more clearly since I've started to watch your videos on BPD. I even bought your BPD workbook. I'm beginning to work through it.
Amen! over the years at different times with my many hospital admissions, my diagnosis is all over the place , treatment actually harming majority of times. finally leading to me telling dr what i know of my real self and omg meds do not prescribe me. like lexapro that caused me to just subconsciously cut and watch blood so not suicidal or depressed and anti psych meds causing me to become backed up in corner seeing things making me coo coo fact .. this is such important information i am so glad you are helping therapist learn !! very well rounded help you are doing doc fox
