I believe its surely breathing deeply and slowly ,trying to pay attantion to the other person and not how u gonna react and own your anxiety and go out with it anyway because you dont want to be secure but strong by overcoming challenges. Big part for me is meditation to calm down because energy cant raise forever on the other hand marshal arts :) like defense if you dont know how people can hurt you and find out that you are actually dangerous and comfortable with physical contact try this shit out even as a girl of course. Good luck
In the moment of anxiety: - Breathing exercises help a lot to calm down -A confident bodyposture makes me feel more confident and brave - Not seeing anxiety as my enemie. Instead of panicking over my anxiety symptoms and trying to ignore them, I'll try to consciously really feel them and rationalise them. Before any social situations that makes me anxious: - writing about how I'm scared by the situation. I always end up feeling better and motivated to beat my anxiety - Listening to upbeat and confident music - Saying "fuck it, I'll just do it!" just before im about to Also: the more I'm out of my comfort zone and the more I socialize, the better i feel about myself
Baby steps. Go at a your own pace. For me it took a good 2-3 years.Take as much time as you need for yourself to heal any traumas internally. Then when you're ready, exposing yourself in populated areas of town I.e downtown, bus, train, café etc and just breathe and be present (no need to talk to anyone). Eventually you'll feel more comfortable. Record and journal your improvements, and continuously test yourself. Deep breathing, cold showers, exercising, and cutting back on social media usage can help to
I had this classmate ( she doesn't have social anxiety ..) one day she told me and other classmates , never mind me if i pass near you in the streets and i don't say hello , it felt weird because she doesn't have SA ,but atleast you won't be thinking she does it on purpose or she hates you . So i advice you to say to all ppl you know that : that is me ,when i see ppl i know i don't saluate them so never mind me if i do it to you , as i don't hold anything against you, it is just me . Maybe this will help 😊
I don't think you can ever fully get rid of it to be honest. you will always have the thoughts, but you can end up ignoring those thoughts in the end. but it's so hard...
Fat Lemon I don't have social anxiety but was interested in how you guys feel. To answer your question: Yep, sometimes conversations can be a little awkward. But then I don't blame myself. Instead I just realize the opposite is just not a real friend of mine and that's okay.
Yeah I wondered the same I just feelt like my heart speed fast on the moment the other person is watching me and taking attention of what I will said and I just lost it I don't even know what to said or what to do, and then I felt that they will think I'm boring, that I look dumb, that they are waiting and then I said wherever and it became so uncomfortable that I just want to leave because I look so dumb
One thing I've learned is all conversations are hard at first but once you get past that, its not that hard if you talk about common topic white are interesting. Starting uni was very hard at first but when you realised it's the same for everyone, it make it a lot easiwe
I think it’s honestly fine for girls to feel like this. Being shy is a positive/cute trait of a girl. But for guys, my entire heart goes out to all of you who feel like this on a daily basis. Girls reject men who internally feel this way. It’s low confidence. And on surveys women say they would choose confident men over attractive men. I’m not saying I think guys shouldn’t be allowed to have social anxiety, I’m just saying I’m very aware that women reject men with social anxiety, and I just feel bad for them
I would say to someone with social anxiety, that it becomes easier once you accept that everyone's not gonna like you. Also being secure with yourself and who you are helps a lot to. I have become so much more confident the last 6 months bc I know who I am and what I stand for. Confidence is a skill and comes from the inside and can be improved upon when you become comfortable with being uncomfortable.
Wow you've represented exactly what I feel like, I go through most of these questions. You won't believe it but when I know I will meet someone, I prepare in my phone this list of things to talk about, to avoid being boring and to avoid the awkward silence.. I wanna be alone because I don't wanna be in these situations, but at the same time I can't be alone because as a human being I need these social interactions, exactly the same way I need to eat and sleep.. so hard
Yes i can relate. I make a list too. This may sound weird, but i sometimes even try to have a fake conversation with myself in my head about the things that are on the list. It's a great tool but i wish i didn't need it tbh :/
i also prepare these lists and i wouldn't call it social anxiety... in order for the conversation to flow, at least one of the parties has to put effort into it
Social anxiety makes school a nightmare, job interviews set my heart rate going hours before I'm even due in, dating with social anxiety also feels like I'm being judged and instantly expect rejection. It can be a living hell having social anxiety but what I've found is to be in nature, go for a daily walk alone and always try and be positive. Dont even think you're weird or a misfit.... Your channel is amazing btw!
I feel you, I’m still in highschool and don’t go half to time bc of social anxiety. Heres one of bad experiences I’m still in. I like a girl and felt brave one day to talk to one of her friends about it. Then the next day I was to afraid to talk to the girl I liked. Now she knows I like her and it’s so awkward seeing her, but I’m too scared to talk to her/ask her out. Plus then I think about future social situations that make me anxious (going on a date, meeting perents). One day I hope to be with a girl, and be the best bf/husband I can be and treat her right. Oh yea and marriage sounds scary bc of being in front of a lot of ppl. Hopefully lf that time comes it shouldn’t bother bc I’ll be with the woman I love
Yeah,but he does'nt said that.He ment he is an introvert and he's having a Social anxiety. Most of us does.Even me.I can't even talk properly with my own dad.Anyways,thx for the invitation of the club:p
I'm a man of 50 now. I've not heard anyone until now more accurately describe the hell that it is to experience social anxiety. When I was a kid, I was extremely bashful, painfully shy. But, it's accepted by others when you're a child. When you grow up, it makes others worry about you. I have to go to work meetings once a month where we all sit at a round table, meaning there's no where to hide no matter what seat I choose. While everyone is talking, I'm often reading whatever was handed out to the attendees, for the 10th time or taking notes of what's being said in order to attempt to look like I'm doing something normal. But, it's excruciating when I can see that others really see that I'm not making eye contact with anyone and technically, my head is down in order to write or read while others hold their's up to listen and to engage in the conversation. Today, I wanted to just get up and run out of the room, exit the building and go home where I live alone and never have guests. Thank you for posting this. You have demonstrated exactly how I feel everyday. I especially dislike seeing an old friend who I've not seen for a long time. The anxiety level gets to be too much in those situations. Thanks again.
I feel social anxiety when I'm interacting with people I know !!! I can't talk to them properly,my heart starts racing, i feel insecure about myself, I fear of them judging me! But it doesn't happen when I'm talking to people I don't know more like people who don't know me! Yeah, people who don't know me! I feel more confident about myself I don't feel insecure about myself when I'm with anyone who doesn't know me!
I've dealt with social anxiety for years, elementary and middle school I was bullied for my looks. It made me super insecure. One day I was bullied outside where we would meet for the busses. And it was so terrible because I was humiliated in front of literally everyone. I wasn't really the same ever since, it was a traumatic experience that still has life long effects on me. Especially now that I'm in high school, I use to be social but now I'm an introvert.
I suffered from social anxiety for many many years, and still do. However, after a long process of self discovery and better awareness, I came to understand better the birthplace of those thoughts and questions in my mind while interacting with people. It always came down to me having an extremely low self steen and no regard for myself. It was not until I came to accept who I am, be more aware and grateful for my qualities, that I started having healthier and more productive interaction with other people. I realise that by being who I am, a quieter and an introvert individual, I can also contribute greatly - I was constantly looking to “fit in” hence my anxiety all the time, and I would always fall short. But now, I simply go through life looking to “belong” for being who and what I am.
If you're going through social anxiety, just know that you are powerful, string, beautiful and there's nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to fear... remember that whoever you are speaking to, whoever is judging you is also a human being. You are worthy, you are enough, you are wonderful ♡
There is no better community than a bunch of introverts and people with social anxiety understanding and helping each other. We don't need to explain anything when we are by ourselves. Even the smallest amount of support can make us feel better. I love you all & you are doing great! 💗 And always remember: even the worst day has only 24 hours! :)
You dont even know how much these videos have helped me. Seriously I only found you a couple of days ago and I've started to read, accept me for myself and learn that anxiety and being and introvert dont define. Really helpful thank you!!!
Meditating has really helped me with slowing my thoughts down and having more of an understanding of why I am getting these thoughts I think the best way to stop social anxiety is to question why your getting it question your thoughts why do I feel social anxiety right now? The more curious you are about your thoughts will lead you to the right answer and the easier it will be to overcome it. Journaling my thoughts had helped me a lot aswell
The best way to deal with social anxiety is to think of the most uncomfortable thing you can imagine,in that social setting, then you'll realize what you're doing is OK and normal compared to the thought.
Im rn in a relationship and im just trying my best to hide my anxiety, tryin to be cool and relaxed around ppl while infact im not. Everyday just feels exhausting. Im anxious about my social anxiety.
For me social anxiety bloomed from my critically low self-esteem. It started off as me thinking that I was just shy and slowly backing away and avoiding social interactions. When you avoid one social event because you don't feel confident enough - or something along those lines - it will be easier to avoid the next one, and then the next, and then before you know it you have social anxiety and the deadly spiral continues until it ends in depression. Find something that builds up your self-esteem and confidence. Mental illnesses, apart from being about the chemicals in your brain, are about your mindset. If you feel happy for just a second, hang on to that happiness as long as you can. If a happy thought jumps into your head just use it to generate more happy thoughts. That way you'll build a different spiral that will only go up and up. Now, don't forget that ups and downs are normal and you won't be happy all the time but it is definitely worth trying to keep yourself positive.
Me: 👀 Them: 👀 Me: 👀😊 Them: 👀😊 **** AWKWARD SILENCE **** Me: 😓 The one thing I try to avoid the most while making small talk. And end up overthinking and analyzing the conversation. I couldn't have related more to all the messages you received. One I have learned is to be in the moment and the conversation will just go organically. I just listen to what they say and ask question and let them do all the talking. Thanks for the video :)
Same, it honestly makes me a little nervous when someone starts a conversation with me lol I ALWAYS end up sounding REALLY awkward and lame simply because I have no idea how to respond. Usually I just stay silent most of the time around my friends and sometimes laugh when they talk silly things since I'm more of a listener and not a talker.
I am a collage student from small village, living in hostel in big city. I am obsessed perfectionalist and extrovert BUT I have social anxiety, mild bipolar disorder due to which I suffer depression as well plus I have extreme body image issues and anaemia too! SUPER AMAZING COMBO, right! Mania gives me me wings to fly and power to think I can do anything but anxiety doubts my fukin every single ability, shatters all gathered confidence into millions of pieces, make me believe that I have to be perfect in everything even before starting it and if I am not people will judge and remember me till death! Obsessed perfection don't let me satisfied with small things, anaemia drains all my physical energy this leads to depression, where I feel this unexplainable hoplessness to eternity, where I wanna do nothing absolutely nothing I just wanna.. Sleep that's the only way I can stop thinking, so I sleep for hours and hours I sleep when I am not sleepy, I sleep because I am mentally tired! I don't get suicidal thoughts, I don't want to die but I genuinely don't want to live either! I am comfortable or say normal around my family and very very close friends and being an extrovert they will never know I ever face such things! I really forgot how to be naturally happy without trying! I am tried of pretending OK when I am battling millions of wars inside me! I really want to be OK, just naturally happy without convincing myself to be because I have everything!
I urge you, reading this, to seek answers within yourself. Most of the time, we people only have a wrong perception of the reality, a software, that we must rewrite. And it's only will be possibly after we get to know our deepest subconscious secrets.
O'SSÉIN - Master Your Mind With Me Jesus loves you all ❤️ John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he sent his one and only son that whoever shall believe in him shall not perish but have eternal life” Jesus loves you and he stands at the door of your life and knocks. Will you invite him in ? He loves you so much! the first step is simply talking to him and believing in him
I never knew that what I’ve been experiencing is social anxiety until I watched this. I was like wth this is exactly what goes in my head everytime I talk to someone. Wow. Thank you for helping me know my problem. Now, time to find a way to stop it.
Don't be one of those people who call shyness/neurosis S.A.D. S.A.D. is shyness on steroids. Let the doctors diagnose these things. Meanwhile, watch this: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-Aktp6L4YLlk.html
That's exactly how I feel when I come in contact with another person. Almost as if I'm being attacked by my own thoughts. It's so overwhelming not being able to in joy a simple conversation. Hopefully theirs a cure.
I honestly realized today all choices i've made so far in my life have been made under social pressure to be what people expected me to be. Looking back close to none of the choices I made truly came from the bottom of my heart... I regret letting social pressure decide for me, I've decided to start doing what I really want to do in life and stop doing what people expect/want me to do. The advice I'd give to myself and others would be, stop worrying about what people might think listen to your heart and stay true to what you want to do, don't act a certain way or do certain things just because you felt pressured to do so
Another beautiful video Lana! The only cure for my social anxiety I have gone through is discovering over time, it does not matter what others think about me-it only matters what I think of myself through the interactions with the world around me. Spiritual development is a BIG helper to end this fear inside. Good luck to everyone and know you are never alone. 🙏🏼✨
Can’t look people in the eyes, so much energy to think of the next thing to say, can’t make phone calls, having a hard time listening to what people are saying, can’t ask professors for help, fear of interrupting people during work, going to work is painful. Ugh, I hate it so much 😔
As someone with social anxiety, I relate to ALL of these. Literally every question asked in the video were the same questions that bombarded my mind whenever I'm in a social situation.
A big thing that has helped me with my social anxiety is doing the thing I'm most afraid of happening. If that means I'm afraid of someone thinking I'm weird or awkward, I say in my mind I hope they think I'm weird and awkward. It seems like a counterintuitive approach, but it is very liberating.
The list is exactly what I cannot avoid thinking when I feel anxiety at a socialising situation. I feel extremely embarrassed. It’s very sad. I wanna just accept who I am. I don’t wanna pretend to be someone else.
I feel every vlog is made for me...... Honestly, it's amazing ... you're amazing. keep making videos. I never felt so connected with any of the videos on youtube. your videos and topics are perfect.
Before I even watch this video, I wanted to say that I've unknowingly suffered with this my whole life thinking there was some other issues and ignoring the signs. Sometimes it felt like I was on a cliffside about to fall. How do you explain that to somebody? You can't if they're not suffering with it. It has controlled my life, even in the military. Until one day I finally realized that it was fear. When I started to gain my confidence back, people could see it in my eyes and I made myself become exposed to my fears and I realized that I am capable of so many great things. It's an amazing feeling realizing how much you matter and how much you can change the world. On the other hand, I still do have those feelings but I've learned to except and manage them
Your description of questions and thoughts that go thru my mind while talking to someone couldn't be more exact, even tho we ( ppl w social anxiety ) go thru those questions a million times faster. Losing my place or flow of conversation is top thing I deal with, mostly brought on by my interpretation of their body language. Which is always negative. My social anxiety came after a break up. I had never had it before, my confidence was easily there, breaking the social anxiety that I have has been a long road of trying to be aware of it and managing it. I can say it's dissipated but not gone. Thanks for your video. I'll be watching the rest of them
Dear Lana, thank you so much for using your platform to bring awareness to social anxiety :) Can you also share tips on how to overcome social anxiety the next time? Lots of love from Germany
Definetly give therapy a try! It has helped a lot of people. Here is a link that explains why you should go to therapy if you want to go but can't get yourself to go. I hope it motivates you to go! ❤:) medium.com/amp/p/abc960d4f65c
You're definitely right when you pointed out how social anxiety makes you scared of what other people might be thinking of you. Awesome vid, Lana. Thanks for sharing!
I have/had social anxiety and I can tell u that being phisically active changed my life. I still have anxiety but it's not like before, i feel different when i talk with people i feel more confident with myself. And one bonus advice is that we are all humans, we are all the sime, we all have bad days, we are aqward, we make mistakes, we say the wrong things and THAT'S OKEY. Don't stress about it too much. If it's not going to matter in 5 years then don't worry about it more then 5 minutes.
Living with social anxiety is very hard and worst...I have no one with whom I can talk about this or tell my problem.. everyday I'm living with this..and I don't want to live anymore with this..
What works for me is that whenever the thoughts start to pour in I stop them. And it feels like the thoughts are pushing on an imaginary wall inside of my head. But they don’t get through. I’ve had times where the wall just totally fell and I have to start over (bad relationship/multiple embarrassing moments in a short time-span/etc.) which is where I am now. With practice I can get it back up and I feel so much better. The wall stops negative thoughts whether it’s all the things you said or if I’m thinking about a future event/past event.
Social anxiety with my experience is not a lot of thoughts going through my head. It's nothingness. The real definition of "no thoughts, head empty". When someone just randomly talked to me, my thoughts started to leave my mind. My senses focuses more on the beating of my heart that I can feel my blood going through my veins. I can't think of anything. It takes me 5-10 seconds to answer a single question. And it makes me nervous because I know people need answers immediately but I can't give it to them right away and I feel bad. After I overcome my shocked state, I start feeling awkward and I always end up just nodding and smiling at every statement they say even if they're badmouthing the person at the other side of the road but I can't understand it so I just smile and nod. I experience the same emotions in school but it was a hundred times worse. With the emptiness in my brain is the "I'm embarrassing myself, my classmates will laugh at my wrong answer" thought. With the pounding of my heart and blood running in my veins is the shaking of my knees and coldness of my hand. With my 5-10 seconds of processing what's happening is the quietness of my voice, scared to make a mistake. Everytime the teacher calls my name and I stand up is the tears in the side of my eyes ready to fall if my classmates will laugh. Sitting down, embracing the state of shock feels like I was a new born seeing the cruelty of the world.
Thankyou for doing this video now i feel a lot better knowing that im not the only one experiencing this☺️ i struggle with social anxiety for so long and this video is so accurate. I always overthink like that. All those thoughts are always there whenever i met people. And thats insane i always feel like i wanna explode cause i cant help it. Sometimes i went blank and completely muted because of my severe social anxiety. But to all ppl who also have social anxiety, i just wanna say i know it’s hard.. but please take it easy on yourself, dont be too hard on yourself. Everything’s gonna be fine. We’ve survived all these times. I believe we can do this!🙏✨
