Dr. B. People don't decide to be lonely; it is something that happens because of circumstances. There is social, emotional and spiritual loneliness. Some people can go to parties and meet people, but they miss stronger connections with people. I went to a church single's party a few years ago and I tried to start conversations with people but was really hard. I am a public relation person with years of experience, but I couldn't start conversations on a church group. Nice looking people always attract attention. I saw a case of two sisters, one very nice looking and the other less attractive. It was amazing the difference in social life. Money also helps. People that have money attracts more people. I did an observation in Florida among elderly people. The ones with high income had a better social life. I was unemployed a while ago and was like leprosy in biblical times. When you lose your job you lose your honor, your dignity and respect.
So true. When you lose your job or source of income people tend to see you as worthless, you add no value to the friendship table. Without a job especially as a man no one wants to even hang out with you. It's so heartbreaking coz people you really trusted start to isolate you, avoid you or even just ignore you. It hurts but at the same time I understand
exactly.. my old doctor was a pill pusher i understand i have conditions that cause me pain but i dont need oxycodone.. i usually take some Aleve and im ok .. and he treated me weird afterwards i feel like he didnt like that i wasnt a pill addict
I disagree, tired of dealing with everybody's bullshit, friends, and family. Rather, deal with 2 or 3 people. People's problems that are close to you are the worst problems. They never go away.
Im a person that has zero friends and have been thru two divorces. I have a good job, go bike riding, exercise and have accepted that Im not going to have friends or a woman. I rather be alone than put myself out there to be a punch bag of a bully or an ATM for a woman
i also have 0 friends and been divorced about 6 years. i find its easier to be a shutin then to deal with people so i completely understand... its hard to make new connections
I get what you're saying man. Well I mean I sorta get what you're saying, my parents hate each other and my entire life they always came to me to complain about how the world is against them and how having connections with people is a waste of time. Although I've always been pretty socially isolated growing up since I didn't know how to connect with my peers, my parents made it worse by making me feel like the reason why I couldn't connect with anyone was because I was good and they were bad. For my entire life, I truly believed that if I ever got a boyfriend or if I ever had a friend, it would turn out for the worst since everyone is inherently evil. However, a few months ago I just graduated high school with no friends and no connections. I realized I wasn't the only "righteous" person in the world and that other people were actually kinder, wiser, and more genuine than I was, yet i avoided them. I realized how badly I needed people in my life and that this mindset was slowly killing me. I guess what I'm trying to say is, although I haven't had nearly as much life experience as you have had considering the fact that you went through two divorces, I can understand where you're coming from and how your circumstances led you to believe what you do. However, I think even if there are lots of bad people in the world, I think it is good human nature to have hope that some people out there aren't that bad. Without that hope we don't try, and if we don't try we will never find this connection which humans so desperately need. I'm sorry you trusted two people with your life and they let you down, and I hope that you have found peace and healing within yourself. I also hope that one day you will maybe be able to connect with someone who genuinely cares about sharing their life with you instead of sharing your wallet. I think it's funny that at one point we both had the same mindset in the world, but through different ways and different ages. Although I've changed my mindset to be a bit more "hopeful" in humanity, I have yet to realize whether that hope is worth it or not, so I would love to hear more about your story and how you went from being hopeful in humanity like me to avoiding it. If you read this far, thanks for reading this, and I wish you success in life whatever that may be to you.
Good choice sir,that's how a man should leave,i'm in my mid 30s in a thriving career,been betrayed by too many people specially those close to them,screw em If i want company,i'll get a dog
after my divorce i self isolated.. i felt betrayed and could t handle situations with large crowds.. i already had social anxiety, bpd and bipolar.. i been alone about 6 years.. i just have my parents and son.. i go to the store twice a month.. but i been in a constant state of fight or flight.. my x husband was an abisive drunk and he used manipulation on me a lot.. i wasnt aware of it so now i dont trust myself to have good friendships.. i just recently been to the doctors after not going for avout 4 years.. so im hoping to finally turn things around.. its just so hard to make friends when you feel like your a burden or inconvinient 24/7
I feel and hear you. But, soon you will be coming out, maybe a fun new hobbie, creativity opens up the heart and soul. But, you have done well to stay away from another relationship, it does take a long as time. But, soon, you will see! Blessings dear, may the fall and winter be warmest ever! 🙏🕊💕
idk how I feel about this. Sometimes, social isolation is a coping mechanism from serious trauma. When you get hurt enough times, you stop trying to interact with people. That's what agoraphobia is. I haven't left my apartment except to take out trash in weeks. I feel good. I'm calm, relaxed. I even refuse to talk to my family anymore because I'm tired of feeling invalidated by their gaslighting. It's better for me to be left well alone.
Maybe this video is only for Extrovert people. But for introvert like me, i'm okay with or without friends. I'm fine being alone it is very peaceful to me. Being alone is freedom to me.
Im a truck driver, ive been mostly alone the last 3 years. I talk to a friend for a few hours every day though. It was really difficult at first, I enjoy the solitude now though. I can definitely feel the affects, i know im kind of handicapped when it comes to socializing now and Im fine with that. If im making progress I dont mind. Eat healthy, read books, work out, save money, etc. My contentment is more dependent on the trajectory of my life vs. external stimuli now, if I feel like Im making progress Im good. I live in my imagination kind of too, im sure that helps. Ive had strange experiences though, bad luck I guess in certain ways. Its lead to some mental callous, I dont sweat the little things like most do. Im content with my life, i enjoy it. I dont know that most would but Im happy.
People have been programmed to be socially needy and they find being alone boring but what is boring are these people because they can't stand to be alone with them selves.
Not at all! only if you want to be. I do twice as much when I'm alone. Hiking kayaking meditation circles dining. Being alone and/or isolated is amazing. That other mentality is neurotic AF
Thanks for your motivation but you should take your own advice also, this video is nothing but bullshit, my father spent all of his childhood like 24 years alone basically, had a terrible relationship with his family and worked in farms 24/7 with no human interaction whatsoever, as long as you can manage your stress wether by socializing or playing video games (i'd recommend exercise tbh) you're good to go. chatting with people online or reading books can also help, try to be a bit organized. hope this helps you, no one dies of loneliness i swear! :)
@@asimjTo add to what you're saying, Hiroo Onoda was a Japanese soldier in ww2 who was instructed to stay and wait on an island in the Philippines for the rest of his group. His instructions were to never surrender and to wait for them to return, and to ignore it if the US claims the war is over. He did just that for 30 years before finally some hippie kid found him and convinced him that the war was actually over. The dude survived 30 years in PURE isolation.
from an evolutionary perspective, dying from lonliness makes sense, because whats the point in being alive if you are alone, no one to share life with. nature is actually helping you by removing you from existance, not to sound harsh but you are no good to anyone so you have no reason to live. it's actually fascinating how our social situations determine our biological condition. i'm likely gonna die within the next 3 years anyway so i have nothing to complain about.
Wow...Debbie downer! I think that's the opposite! Half the time getting involved with people there's nothing but waste time. Listening to their never ending neurotic problems! Good God all they do is complain and whine about how bad their life is. Being in a serene environment or even If I have to be around people but free of the attachments is completely liberating! Your outlook is fatalistic as Hell ! Carpe Diem is my motto
I'm alone and I love it. I'm a misanthrope. My only contact with other people are when I have to interact with store clerks. Even then, I prefer self-checkouts. I don't know why this video showed up in my recommended feed.
There's a huge difference between loneliness and isolation. To be isolated unwillingly can feel lonely, but it's an external thing that you cannot control. Internal isolation can be a choice, but it can also be a choice motivated by trauma and lifestyle or something you prefer socially every once awhile for how much you are able to socially interact. Being isolated can have it's negative trade marks, but it can also have it's positive. There are horrible people out there who unfortunately are manipulative and bullies that only have the pleasures of looking forward to destroying other people, and sometimes it's right where you are the weakest, which is socially
